התמלול המלא של Refueling First Responder Life Force: Dr Maribel Contreras

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WEBVTT 00:00:10.000 --> 00:00:10.400 Dr. 00:00:10.640 --> 00:00:11.359 Maribel. 00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:12.160 Maribel. 00:00:12.480 --> 00:00:12.960 Is that right? 00:00:14.560 --> 00:00:15.759 Welcome to the podcast. 00:00:15.839 --> 00:00:18.000 Thank you so much for taking the time to be here. 00:00:18.079 --> 00:00:23.039 And so everybody knows I screwed up and I didn't tell her this was not virtual. 00:00:23.120 --> 00:00:24.480 I was like, no, this is in person. 00:00:24.559 --> 00:00:26.239 So you came all the way from Upland. 00:00:26.320 --> 00:00:27.280 So I really appreciate that. 00:00:27.359 --> 00:00:28.480 You still made the time to come out here. 00:00:28.559 --> 00:00:29.039 So thank you. 00:00:29.280 --> 00:00:29.600 Thank you. 00:00:29.760 --> 00:00:30.559 Thank you for having me. 00:00:30.719 --> 00:00:30.879 Yeah. 00:00:30.960 --> 00:00:32.159 And you got to meet my family. 00:00:32.320 --> 00:00:32.640 I know. 00:00:32.799 --> 00:00:33.520 That was so nice. 00:00:33.679 --> 00:00:34.719 Yeah, which is pretty cool. 00:00:34.799 --> 00:00:35.600 You got to see my daughter. 00:00:35.679 --> 00:00:36.560 She got pretty big. 00:00:36.799 --> 00:00:37.119 I know. 00:00:37.280 --> 00:00:38.719 I remember when she was born. 00:00:38.880 --> 00:00:39.520 Yeah. 00:00:40.000 --> 00:00:44.960 It's so funny how we live like our lives through vicariously through social media. 00:00:45.119 --> 00:00:45.439 Oh, yeah. 00:00:45.600 --> 00:00:49.840 And we don't know people, but we think we know people and we know parts of their lives. 00:00:49.920 --> 00:00:50.799 So it's kind of cool. 00:00:50.880 --> 00:00:51.920 It's like, oh, I know her. 00:00:52.240 --> 00:00:54.799 Yeah, she's uh she's a special girl. 00:00:54.880 --> 00:00:56.159 She got big, got to see my wife. 00:00:56.240 --> 00:00:56.960 She's about to pop. 00:00:57.119 --> 00:00:57.439 I know. 00:00:57.600 --> 00:00:58.240 Congratulations. 00:00:58.479 --> 00:00:59.600 Yeah, I'm super excited. 00:00:59.759 --> 00:01:01.119 Like, I'm really, really excited about that. 00:01:01.280 --> 00:01:02.719 Have my son who's gonna be here. 00:01:02.880 --> 00:01:10.640 But um, all things I'm super thankful for and just feel blessed beyond what I deserve because I was a wild animal for quite some time. 00:01:10.879 --> 00:01:12.879 So um, but tamed. 00:01:13.040 --> 00:01:16.799 Yeah, I had to I had to grow up uh quite a bit, quite a bit. 00:01:17.120 --> 00:01:20.079 But um, do you remember when we met actually? 00:01:20.400 --> 00:01:21.840 I don't, I don't either. 00:01:22.000 --> 00:01:24.719 I was trying to think back, and I'm like, dude, how did I meet this lady? 00:01:24.799 --> 00:01:25.280 Uh you know what? 00:01:25.359 --> 00:01:27.040 I think it was at a church. 00:01:27.280 --> 00:01:27.760 Was it? 00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:38.000 I remember um going to a church in Orange County somewhere, and I just remember a bunch of motorcycle lists. 00:01:38.159 --> 00:01:42.719 Oh and um they were all sitting in the front wearing these jackets. 00:01:43.040 --> 00:01:45.599 Oh, the motorcycle vests, yes, okay. 00:01:45.680 --> 00:01:46.799 Yeah, so that's Minifier. 00:01:46.959 --> 00:01:47.760 I'm a part of that motorcycle. 00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:49.680 Yes, so Menifier were there. 00:01:49.840 --> 00:01:53.760 Yeah, that was actually our first annual first responders in Idaho. 00:01:54.319 --> 00:02:00.400 Okay, yeah, so we're we did our third one this past year, but that's right, you were there, and I think was it Anthony? 00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:04.480 Anthony, yeah, such a great guy, yeah, such a such a good dude. 00:02:04.560 --> 00:02:05.599 But yeah, that's what we meant. 00:02:05.680 --> 00:02:06.319 I was trying to remember. 00:02:06.400 --> 00:02:09.919 I'm like, dude, how do I I don't even remember how I got this woman's number, but you're awesome. 00:02:10.080 --> 00:02:29.439 For for a while I thought you were City Valet, then I was like, no, he's Orange County, no, he's LA County, and I was like, I don't even remember how I met him, and then I remembered that event, and then I remembered seeing you and just meeting you that day and exchanging numbers and like, yeah, we'll meet up, we'll meet up, and then you know, vicariously through social media here and there connecting. 00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:39.280 Well, what's really great is when you came to my house, I will I am that person who was the last one on the block to put their trash cans away after trash day. 00:02:39.520 --> 00:02:42.639 My wife told me, I'm thinking, oh my gosh, dude, I don't want to be those people. 00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:48.240 So I went out there real quick, put one trash can away, and I come around my truck and you're standing there, you're like, hi. 00:02:52.879 --> 00:02:55.199 That was a good uh intro to seeing you again. 00:02:55.360 --> 00:02:56.479 I was like, oh my goodness, you're here. 00:02:56.800 --> 00:02:57.120 That was fast. 00:02:57.360 --> 00:02:59.199 I was like, damn, I cool my hair today. 00:03:01.280 --> 00:03:02.240 You look great. 00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:03.199 No, you're fine. 00:03:03.599 --> 00:03:04.159 You're fine. 00:03:04.479 --> 00:03:05.599 I have that effect on people. 00:03:05.759 --> 00:03:09.120 You know, people really like me, they're like, all right, or they're like, oh shit, she's here. 00:03:09.599 --> 00:03:10.639 Like trying to hide from me. 00:03:10.719 --> 00:03:13.280 So I was like, okay, you want to jump in the trash cans? 00:03:13.360 --> 00:03:15.759 I'll I'll just wait here to till you get out. 00:03:16.000 --> 00:03:19.680 But it's kind of funny because I am I'm the same way. 00:03:19.919 --> 00:03:20.800 Yeah, jumping. 00:03:20.960 --> 00:03:22.240 No, no, the trash cans are still. 00:03:25.680 --> 00:03:26.319 That was my bad. 00:03:26.400 --> 00:03:27.199 I'm like, oh my gosh. 00:03:27.280 --> 00:03:28.639 And of course, you saw me putting them away. 00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:30.000 I'm thinking this

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is so embarrassing. 00:03:30.080 --> 00:03:30.879 I just got scared. 00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:34.400 She's seeing me put my trash cans away, last person on the blog, but it's all good. 00:03:34.639 --> 00:03:35.919 I'm still the last person. 00:03:36.400 --> 00:03:40.960 I have five, my defense, and uh two of them are still out, the three one by one. 00:03:41.280 --> 00:03:41.919 Why didn't they come in? 00:03:42.159 --> 00:03:42.879 Five trash cans. 00:03:43.039 --> 00:03:47.120 I have a lot of trees, so I have three extra for trees and all that. 00:03:47.199 --> 00:03:48.319 So I see. 00:03:48.400 --> 00:03:48.560 Okay. 00:03:48.800 --> 00:03:50.479 I'm the Mexican with gardeners. 00:03:54.800 --> 00:04:15.680 Uh I once worked with the firefighter, and you know, he he got in trouble and he was like uh went viral for some inappropriate comments about uh Mexicans and uh fire and uh gardeners, and he's like, I'm a firefighter, and and I said, Hey, and he called me for help and I said, Hey, that's pretty messed up what you said. 00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:18.160 You know, it's my dad right there, you're talking shit about. 00:04:18.319 --> 00:04:20.079 And then he just like, I'm so sorry. 00:04:20.160 --> 00:04:22.160 And I said, You know I'm Mexican too. 00:04:22.399 --> 00:04:25.199 And uh he I just kidding, just kidding. 00:04:25.439 --> 00:04:33.519 And you know, that moment where you see someone's about to break, yeah, and uh I just had to cut a joke because uh at that moment he was suicidal. 00:04:33.680 --> 00:04:34.160 Oh my god. 00:04:34.399 --> 00:04:40.399 And uh I was like, okay, so all the SSI serious stuff, like what happened was really serious. 00:04:40.560 --> 00:04:41.279 How are you doing? 00:04:41.439 --> 00:04:43.680 Yeah, and uh he's like, I'm not okay. 00:04:43.759 --> 00:04:50.079 And you know, social media things spread pretty quickly, whether they're good or not so good, ridiculously fast. 00:04:50.399 --> 00:05:05.519 And this was like a not so good event, and it just completely like took over his lives on people were outside, and you know, when you're in that position and you know, position of power, we we are, because people call us on their worst day. 00:05:05.680 --> 00:05:12.319 Yeah, so that's what therapists I feel and the type of therapists I am have in common with first responders. 00:05:12.480 --> 00:05:17.839 They call you guys your worst day, you guys call us on your worst day, and I'm like, okay, today's his worst day of his life. 00:05:18.079 --> 00:05:22.160 Yeah, well, yeah, it's it's so trash cans, gardening, you know. 00:05:22.560 --> 00:05:23.519 We'll get right into that. 00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:38.000 Well, well, that's you bring up a good point because I I don't want to speak for most in who are first responders, and as you know, and everyone listening, I've been a firefighter for gosh in the fire service total of 21 years. 00:05:38.160 --> 00:05:47.680 Oh yeah, it's been a while, but most of us, I'll say me, like I didn't I didn't go see a therapist for probably 17 years, right? 00:05:47.759 --> 00:05:58.160 And that stuff just stacks all those bad things that you see, and and of course we call you when we're fine, like at our, you know, at the end of our world, about everything's about gonna be a disaster, and like, oh my god, help me, you know. 00:05:58.319 --> 00:06:04.879 I'm like, oh my god, and I try to encourage a lot of firefighters I work with, like it's it's okay to not be okay. 00:06:05.120 --> 00:06:14.720 It's better to go early and start doing therapy instead of waiting until it's you know the last thing and you're at your wit's end and you have suicidal ideations and all that. 00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:21.439 So um you have a um what do you I don't want to call it a clinic? 00:06:21.680 --> 00:06:22.720 Yeah, is that what it's called? 00:06:22.800 --> 00:06:23.279 Is it clinic? 00:06:23.519 --> 00:06:24.720 It's technically a treatment center. 00:06:24.959 --> 00:06:25.279 Treatment center. 00:06:25.600 --> 00:06:29.360 So we we are registered as a treatment center, but I look at it more like a wellness center. 00:06:29.519 --> 00:06:38.800 Okay, and we do a lot of preventative work, so it is life force recovery, and we're in the city of Upland, and it's kind of like in between different places. 00:06:38.959 --> 00:06:46.399 So I have people that come from like San Clemeni, Long Beach, Whittier, Montebello, Claremont, Rancho. 00:06:46.800 --> 00:06:47.600 All the way to Upland. 00:06:47.759 --> 00:06:56.800 All the way to Upland because it's small, it's very that's why I say wellness center, because we try to take care of our people. 00:06:56.959 --> 00:07:00.240 So it's for by first responders, for first responders. 00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:02.879 I'm I'm the non-first responder one. 00:07:05.040 --> 00:07:06.879 Come on, thank you guys for adopting me. 00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:08.879 Yeah, yeah, and they just kind of joke. 00:07:08.959 --> 00:07:10.879 They're like, okay, you're you're the main one here. 00:07:10.959 --> 00:07:23.839 And I'm like, well, they might come for me initially because it's the worst day, but then they stay because of everybody that's there, everybody that's been out in the field, whether they're police, retired captains. 00:07:24.000 --> 00:07:29.759 Um, we have current firefighters that are there just volunteering their time to firefighters there volunteering. 00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:30.800 That's excellent. 00:07:30.959 --> 00:07:33.439 Yeah, most of us are volunteers that are there. 00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:33.839 Wow. 00:07:34.079 --> 00:07:36.560 And um, they give their time and the dedication. 00:07:36.720 --> 00:07:44.639 And most of them have had either like a situation that they're like, hey, like I waited, I waited, I waited, and then something happened. 00:07:44.800 --> 00:07:47.360 So please go get some type of help. 00:07:47.519 --> 00:07:50.240 And even though you don't feel like you need it, it's

just wellness. 00:07:50.399 --> 00:07:50.639 Yeah. 00:07:50.800 --> 00:07:51.040 Right. 00:07:51.120 --> 00:07:55.040 So it's that unpacking the things before that backpack gets too heavy. 00:07:55.279 --> 00:07:56.879 Oh, you hit that on the head. 00:07:57.120 --> 00:07:58.079 Yeah, perfect. 00:07:58.319 --> 00:08:08.639 And and I think uh I've sat so many times, like during orientation, during cut like the cadets were training, and I've seen it, and you know, they all come in, they're like, I'm I'm young, I can do this. 00:08:08.720 --> 00:08:10.879 And now they're a little older sometimes. 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:20.639 And you come in with baggage and you come in with childhood stuff, you come in because you want to help initially, and then you start saying things, you're like, I'm fine, I'm fine. 00:08:20.800 --> 00:08:29.519 And then you notice, right, in the call that um you look around, like, okay, everyone else is fine, I'm not fine, but I'm not gonna say I'm not fine. 00:08:29.680 --> 00:08:30.480 Yeah, right. 00:08:30.560 --> 00:08:40.720 Because then what can happen if you're a police officer, your gun gets taken away, or if you're a firefighter, you get put on leave, or just so you're like, okay, no, I'm good, I'm good, Cap, everything's good. 00:08:41.120 --> 00:08:41.360 Right. 00:08:41.519 --> 00:08:51.440 And then till something happens, you're like, you're not good, or worse, you do have a good career, um, you think you're fine, and then you retire, and then it's quiet. 00:08:52.480 --> 00:08:52.720 Right? 00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:57.279 That's that's that silence, and then you're like, what do I do now? 00:08:57.840 --> 00:08:59.360 Well, you bring up a really good point. 00:08:59.600 --> 00:09:04.240 I I um what's the best way to say this? 00:09:04.480 --> 00:09:10.159 Because you don't you don't realize that you carry a lot of those calls, right? 00:09:10.240 --> 00:09:15.679 We were kind of taught as we get into being first responders, and I'll just speak from a firefighter's perspective, right? 00:09:16.000 --> 00:09:25.759 Is honor, courage, commitment, be tough, be hard, be aggressive, fight fire, take care of your your your fellow firefighters, your brothers, your sisters, take care of the community, blah blah blah. 00:09:26.000 --> 00:09:31.519 And I remember getting to a point in this house, in this room that we're in, that's the studio. 00:09:31.759 --> 00:09:39.759 I remember being up here because I had a bed up here, and I remember laying in in my bed and I just broke down thinking, like I feel like I'm losing it. 00:09:40.080 --> 00:09:44.559 And I I help people on a daily basis, a shiftly basis. 00:09:44.639 --> 00:09:48.399 I can help others rescued, do what we have to do, that I can't even help myself. 00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:50.240 What in the world's going on? 00:09:50.480 --> 00:09:51.279 What do I do? 00:09:51.440 --> 00:09:51.840 You know? 00:09:52.080 --> 00:09:53.759 And that was a very helpless moment. 00:09:53.840 --> 00:10:00.799 And I remember reaching out to a few people, and they finally we have at um my fire department called Counseling Team International. 00:10:01.120 --> 00:10:06.639 And I hit that number and started talking to somebody, and it was really interesting because you just said it. 00:10:06.960 --> 00:10:08.399 It was a childhood trauma. 00:10:08.480 --> 00:10:11.279 They started back at my childhood. 00:10:11.600 --> 00:10:16.159 It wasn't like it wasn't the incident that just finally put me over the edge. 00:10:16.399 --> 00:10:19.840 It was let's go back to when you were a kid and we're gonna start there. 00:10:19.919 --> 00:10:21.279 And I'm thinking, what are you talking about? 00:10:21.440 --> 00:10:24.799 Like, I had a great childhood, like everything's fine, it's all cool. 00:10:24.960 --> 00:10:25.519 It's like, really? 00:10:25.759 --> 00:10:27.120 Well, let's let's dig into this. 00:10:27.279 --> 00:10:33.039 And one thing I did realize is you have to be so completely honest about everything. 00:10:33.279 --> 00:10:37.440 Don't hide anything, be very open, be raw, and be real. 00:10:37.519 --> 00:10:42.480 And going through, I didn't realize I'm like, oh my gosh, I do have childhood trauma. 00:10:42.559 --> 00:10:47.440 There are things that happened in my life that weren't cool, that weren't good in my family or outside of my family. 00:10:47.600 --> 00:10:58.799 And I didn't realize that was kind of shaping how I was handling situations as an adult in my relationship with my wife, to people that work and how I process things. 00:10:58.960 --> 00:11:00.639 Uh that was very eye-opening. 00:11:00.799 --> 00:11:03.840 I I had no idea, no idea. 00:11:04.000 --> 00:11:12.399 And so, like, I want to say the first few months that I was doing this real intensive therapy, it wasn't even things I've seen at work over 17, 18 years. 00:11:12.559 --> 00:11:17.679 It was things through childhood, and then going from childhood into being a teenager. 00:11:17.759 --> 00:11:22.879 And then at 17 years old, my brother dying in a car accident, and he was 10 months older than me. 00:11:23.200 --> 00:11:34.720 And I remember that being so, of course, life-changing for my family, but it was a huge reality check at 17 years old because I remember feeling that pain and that sorrow and seeing my family go through it. 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:39.840 But then we bury them, we have the funeral, life goes on. 00:11:40.159 --> 00:11:42.240 Everyone, you know, the sun still rises and sets. 00:11:42.320 --> 00:11:44.240 We still need to, I still need to go to school and pass my test. 00:11:44.480 --> 00:11:46.639 My dad has to go to work, my mom has to go to work. 00:11:46.799 --> 00:11:48.720 That was the one thing that was so shocking. 00:11:48.960 --> 00:11:54.240 You feel all this pain and the sorrow, and and you don't know how to to manage this and figure it out. 00:11:54.480 --> 00:11:57.200 And it's like, oh, you gotta move forward.

00:11:57.440 --> 00:11:58.960 Yeah, and I never dealt with it. 00:11:59.200 --> 00:12:01.840 I didn't realize I was burying that for so long. 00:12:02.080 --> 00:12:04.879 So starting at the childhood, I it just blew my mind. 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:05.519 It really did. 00:12:05.600 --> 00:12:19.200 And then we went into um, of course, adulthood and my first, you know, years as a in the fire service and things that I dealt with and I had seen, and I didn't realize how much I was burying and how much it was destroying me. 00:12:19.519 --> 00:12:20.799 Because it's gonna come out somewhere. 00:12:20.879 --> 00:12:23.039 Yeah, it's a you're eventually gonna we call bleve, right? 00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:24.000 You're just gonna blow, right? 00:12:24.399 --> 00:12:26.240 And you think like, gosh, I'm so messed up. 00:12:26.320 --> 00:12:30.480 It's like, well, you're not a bad person, but it's there's a lot that you just haven't dealt with. 00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:34.000 And I went down a really, really dark path. 00:12:34.159 --> 00:12:39.279 Um, that I, you know, I look back to this day and I think, I can't believe I did some of those things. 00:12:39.519 --> 00:12:44.000 And you you talk to these therapists, it's like, dude, you're just searching for something to feel good. 00:12:44.240 --> 00:12:46.320 You know, you're you're trying to figure it out. 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:58.639 And um, that dark place was super hard, but it was people like you who look after firefighters and first responders, police, and everything that really helped me start to process a lot of things. 00:12:58.799 --> 00:13:06.399 I mean, I went through a lot of intensive therapy for a long time, and that's why I encourage people to to do it now because it was life-changing for me. 00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:09.360 It didn't, it wasn't like snap overnight, I'm better. 00:13:09.440 --> 00:13:12.799 Yeah, it was it was a and it's still a continuing process. 00:13:12.960 --> 00:13:20.159 Um, but it's even one of those things that they offered it, they offer that counseling team international to not just us but our families. 00:13:20.320 --> 00:13:21.919 Yeah, so even my sessions. 00:13:22.159 --> 00:13:29.519 Yeah, my wife started going through and then she started to understand, oh my goodness, that's why he responds a certain way that he does. 00:13:29.679 --> 00:13:37.600 And then we went through it together, and then I got to see her childhood traumas and why she processes and does things and responds the way she does. 00:13:37.759 --> 00:13:39.039 It just kind of blew my mind. 00:13:39.120 --> 00:13:40.320 Yeah, I had no idea, right? 00:13:40.399 --> 00:13:43.600 I'm just like, dude, I'm this guy who puts water on fire and I get paid to do it. 00:13:44.000 --> 00:13:45.360 Like, this is crazy. 00:13:45.600 --> 00:13:52.480 Um, but it it was life-changing, but it was hard because you have to you're finally dealing with yourself. 00:13:52.720 --> 00:13:57.120 You can't you can't hide it with drugs, you can't hide it with other things that are gonna mask it. 00:13:57.360 --> 00:14:02.159 It's the real, true, raw person that you are, and that's hard. 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:07.279 That's very, very difficult to deal with because now it's like, okay, I need to speak this out into existence. 00:14:07.519 --> 00:14:08.399 Here's what I've done. 00:14:08.480 --> 00:14:11.120 Here's the things that I wish I didn't do, here's what I've been through. 00:14:11.200 --> 00:14:12.639 Like, I need to get this better. 00:14:12.799 --> 00:14:17.759 And that's why I love, you know, when you sent your uh, I think it was like a was it a flyer? 00:14:17.919 --> 00:14:18.639 It was like a picture. 00:14:19.039 --> 00:14:19.600 Yeah, yeah. 00:14:19.679 --> 00:14:22.960 I was like, let me just that I can fly quickly 6 a.m. 00:14:23.120 --> 00:14:23.440 in the morning. 00:14:23.600 --> 00:14:24.000 Well, it's cool. 00:14:24.080 --> 00:14:33.919 It's life force recovery in Upland, California, but right under that it says refuel your your life force, trauma-informed care for those who serve healing, strength, and hope. 00:14:34.080 --> 00:14:35.519 Refuel your life force. 00:14:35.679 --> 00:14:36.960 Can you kind of explain that a little bit? 00:14:37.120 --> 00:14:38.639 Because that that stuck out to me. 00:14:38.879 --> 00:14:39.279 Yeah. 00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:46.240 So um I've I've had this like pull for years, and I just didn't know what it was. 00:14:46.320 --> 00:14:48.320 And and let me backtrack a bit. 00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:50.720 Um, I I didn't want to be a therapist, right? 00:14:50.799 --> 00:14:53.039 I was like, oh no, no, I'm just doing it because I want a promotion. 00:14:53.200 --> 00:14:56.000 I used to work for the City Valley and you know, I needed a master's. 00:14:56.159 --> 00:14:59.519 And that was like what the counselor said I was good at. 00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:03.519 And I really fought hard on not being the therapist. 00:15:03.840 --> 00:15:09.679 And uh my supervisor, Gary, laughs at me because he's like, Okay, well, whenever you're ready, you'll be back. 00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:12.000 And I'm like, I'm never gonna be ready. 00:15:12.240 --> 00:15:19.919 And um, God really said, like, yeah, you can waver zigzag all over the place, but you're gonna end up in the same spot. 00:15:20.080 --> 00:15:21.600 I'll eventually bring you back. 00:15:22.000 --> 00:15:25.759 So I was very resistant and need a few like knocks in the head, right? 00:15:26.080 --> 00:15:32.559 And uh, and so when I became a therapist, I was like, okay, um, I don't like the word, right? 00:15:32.720 --> 00:15:34.559 The rapist therapist. 00:15:34.960 --> 00:15:38.480 So um, psychologist, psychoanalyst, psycho. 00:15:38.960 --> 00:15:44.000 And uh, I think that's where like the negative connotation comes into play. 00:15:44.320 --> 00:15:59.360 And when you look at it though, you look at it, here's a person that is trained to deal with other people's

stuff and to really zoom out and get that overview and then kind of pick the pieces and put it together. 00:15:59.519 --> 00:16:01.679 And that's been a skill of mine. 00:16:02.000 --> 00:16:08.159 And so fast forward to life force, I worked for City of Alet. 00:16:08.799 --> 00:16:11.519 And I Well, what were you doing at the City of Valley? 00:16:12.240 --> 00:16:17.440 I worked for the union and the wellness center, so I was a therapist and um uh fire firefighters. 00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:18.320 Yeah, UFLAC, yeah. 00:16:19.360 --> 00:16:20.320 Okay, okay, okay, yeah. 00:16:20.399 --> 00:16:26.879 So I originally was gonna uh apply for their um their coordinator position, and I was like, oh, I could do this. 00:16:27.039 --> 00:16:30.240 And uh I remember sitting outside, I was really bored. 00:16:30.320 --> 00:16:35.279 I I'm good at starting programs, building programs, and um moving them forward. 00:16:35.519 --> 00:16:41.840 And I sat there and something popped up on Indeed, and I was like, oh, firefighters, what do they need help with? 00:16:42.080 --> 00:16:47.600 So I called my son-in-law, Garrett, and I was like, hey Garrett, let me read you this position. 00:16:48.000 --> 00:16:50.000 Do you think do you think I qualify? 00:16:50.399 --> 00:16:52.320 He's like, Yeah, it sounds like a good position. 00:16:52.399 --> 00:16:54.159 You like to build programs and help people. 00:16:54.240 --> 00:16:55.519 And I was like, huh. 00:16:56.960 --> 00:17:00.080 I was so naive at the same time. 00:17:00.240 --> 00:17:03.600 I've been in therapy and doing therapy for 15, 20 years, right? 00:17:04.079 --> 00:17:07.039 That first responders and firefighters needed help. 00:17:07.599 --> 00:17:12.000 And I was like, Oh, I think they want me to go on the rig and talk to people out in the field. 00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:13.440 I'm not really sure. 00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:21.680 And so when I went in and um I got hired as a therapist, I was like, oh shoot, it's for them. 00:17:22.160 --> 00:17:24.880 And I started seeing it from a different lens. 00:17:25.039 --> 00:17:41.359 I I think nowadays the um community is finally catching on that firefighters are struggling, that it's not just like help, I fall in, I can't get up, or putting out fires, putting out fires, a lot of EMS calls, a lot of um the shift work do you talk about? 00:17:41.440 --> 00:17:42.799 Yeah, people don't sleep. 00:17:43.039 --> 00:17:44.079 How do you cope with that? 00:17:44.319 --> 00:17:45.759 You haven't slept in seven days. 00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:48.319 You're hearing the tones constantly in your head. 00:17:48.400 --> 00:17:52.799 You're waiting, your your sympathetic system is just waiting for that call. 00:17:52.960 --> 00:18:02.160 When you leave work, you're still on that high, and then you you have 24 hours off, and then you go home, have to do everything you need to do, hurry up, get back. 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:03.440 So now you're prepping. 00:18:03.599 --> 00:18:06.160 So

all that I saw it over and over. 00:18:06.319 --> 00:18:08.480 I was getting about 60 calls a week at least. 00:18:09.200 --> 00:18:10.720 Um, they put out my cell number. 00:18:11.440 --> 00:18:11.680 Wow. 00:18:12.240 --> 00:18:12.559 Yeah. 00:18:13.359 --> 00:18:13.839 Which is good. 00:18:13.920 --> 00:18:14.160 That's good. 00:18:14.319 --> 00:18:15.119 You want people to call you? 00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:16.160 People needed help. 00:18:16.640 --> 00:18:21.839 People are like, hey, I'm struggling, uh, I'm fighting all the time, I'm drinking all the time. 00:18:22.079 --> 00:18:23.759 Uh, it was all confidential. 00:18:24.319 --> 00:18:27.519 So personally, to my cell phone, I'd be able to help them. 00:18:28.799 --> 00:18:32.720 And I'm like, oh my gosh, this is such a soulless job. 00:18:33.519 --> 00:18:34.880 It takes your soul. 00:18:35.039 --> 00:18:44.480 You come in ready to help, but no one prepares you for the daily toll, like you mentioned earlier, at work, but at home. 00:18:44.799 --> 00:18:46.160 So work you're trained. 00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:53.920 You train 16, 12 weeks, 24 weeks, however long your training is now, days and six weeks now, because we need to get them in and get them out. 00:18:54.319 --> 00:18:54.799 Yeah, yeah. 00:18:54.880 --> 00:18:55.359 We're very stressful. 00:18:55.680 --> 00:18:56.319 That's another issue. 00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:58.960 Don't get me started on that one, right? 00:18:59.119 --> 00:19:06.480 And then you see that, and and I saw some of the men and women that I worked with just struggling with their soul. 00:19:06.640 --> 00:19:07.119 Yeah. 00:19:07.440 --> 00:19:16.400 So, from my perspective, was like, if they can just bring their life force, yeah, that like oomph that they once had, yeah. 00:19:16.799 --> 00:19:18.559 Like, what could they do with their lives? 00:19:18.799 --> 00:19:23.759 It's almost like that spark they used to have in their eye and got into the career, and you're just like, gosh, we could do anything. 00:19:23.920 --> 00:19:24.559 We can, you know. 00:19:25.200 --> 00:19:31.359 That spark you see day one, day three, even when they graduate and they're like so excited. 00:19:31.519 --> 00:19:37.279 Yeah, and then you're talking to retirees and you're looking at them and they're like, I have nothing. 00:19:37.680 --> 00:19:42.160 My wife left me, my kids hate me, I've given all to this job. 00:19:42.640 --> 00:19:44.400 And next week's my last week. 00:19:44.480 --> 00:19:47.839 I'm gonna hang up my jacket and now what? 00:19:49.119 --> 00:19:58.240 You know, I've had this conversation quite a bit with with quite a few fellow firefighters in in this job, does take a lot from you. 00:19:58.400 --> 00:19:58.480 Yeah. 00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:03.200 Now they it's it's not a bad career, it's a good career and it provides for a lot. 00:20:04.160 --> 00:20:10.720 But with that being said, you know, we get forced hired where we can't go home because it's different than most jobs, right? 00:20:10.880 --> 00:20:13.440 Somebody calls out sick, it's not like that spot's not filled. 00:20:13.599 --> 00:20:16.079 Somebody needs to stay there and be on that rig, right? 00:20:16.240 --> 00:20:17.920 To serve our community and help people. 00:20:18.319 --> 00:20:22.640 And so we're getting stuck at work, not just you know, our regular 48-hour shift. 00:20:23.039 --> 00:20:27.279 We're there for 72, 96, someone, some are on a 120. 00:20:27.359 --> 00:20:27.440 Yeah. 00:20:27.599 --> 00:20:30.480 Just like we had this incident in Orange County with that TASMAT. 00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:34.640 You get people who are out there for five, six days, been out there ever since it started. 00:20:34.880 --> 00:20:36.319 And that takes a toll on you. 00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:41.680 Um it's it worrs in your after time because we're all doing it right when we work. 00:20:41.759 --> 00:20:45.599 We're exchanging our time for money, right? 00:20:45.920 --> 00:20:51.519 We want we need the monies because we need to live, we need to pay for food and insurance and all these things, right? 00:20:51.839 --> 00:20:53.599 But when's enough is enough. 00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.240 Because you also get offered overtime. 00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:06.400 So, truly, in the first responder career field, you can work as much as you want, which is good because you can build a life, but you're you're losing time. 00:21:06.799 --> 00:21:08.079 Time that you'll never get back. 00:21:08.240 --> 00:21:12.319 You're the wear and tear in your body, not just physically but mentally. 00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:16.799 And I always I say this quite often because I had this epiphany at one point. 00:21:16.880 --> 00:21:20.799 I'm thinking, what where am I putting my time here? 00:21:21.200 --> 00:21:33.200 I'm working a lot and I'm at, I'm I'm involved in the my fire department, I'm doing all these things, and but like at the end of the day, and this is not to sound morbid, but when I die, I can't even take any of this with me. 00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:34.079 Yeah, right? 00:21:34.160 --> 00:21:37.119 The money, the accolades, the homes, the everything that I have. 00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:39.440 Now we should always do good with what we're given. 00:21:39.680 --> 00:21:44.720 I'm not saying just blow your money or be poor, you know, you don't want to be poor, whatever it may be, right? 00:21:45.039 --> 00:21:48.960 But there's that fine line of working enough, but also being home. 00:21:49.279 --> 00:21:52.400 Because that time with my daughter, I'll never get back. 00:21:52.720 --> 00:21:54.720 That time with my wife, I'll never get back. 00:21:54.799 --> 00:21:56.400 My daughter's only one year old once. 00:21:56.480 --> 00:21:58.640 She only has her first Christmas once, right? 00:21:58.720 --> 00:22:08.640 When she starts walking, that'll Happens one time, and there's many things I've missed because I've been stuck at work, whether it's my choice to work overtime or because I

got force hired. 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:15.920 And for a lot of personnel that I see, this job is their identity, and I have worked so hard to separate myself with that. 00:22:16.160 --> 00:22:19.039 And some people, good, bad, or indifferent. 00:22:19.680 --> 00:22:23.200 You know, they look at me like, oh, you're, you know, you're not a real fireman. 00:22:23.599 --> 00:22:26.160 You're not, you know, if you're not involved, you're not doing this, you're not sold out. 00:22:26.240 --> 00:22:30.160 It's like, hey man, just because this isn't my identity doesn't mean I'm not sold out. 00:22:30.240 --> 00:22:34.720 I will come to work, I'll be a team player, I will do my job, and I will know my craft. 00:22:34.960 --> 00:22:36.480 When I go home, I go home. 00:22:36.720 --> 00:22:41.680 I want to be home and I want to make sure I'm present for my family because I'll never get that time back. 00:22:41.839 --> 00:22:46.960 And that's your time is so precious because really we don't even know how much of it we have. 00:22:47.200 --> 00:22:49.119 That's the one thing you have no idea. 00:22:49.279 --> 00:22:49.519 I know. 00:22:49.680 --> 00:22:49.839 Right? 00:22:49.920 --> 00:22:59.279 And that's again, I'm not trying to sound crazy or morbid, but the reality is we could wake up tomorrow, get in our car, and just like my brother, he's driving down the street, get hit. 00:22:59.440 --> 00:23:01.039 That's it, it's over. 00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:01.680 Right? 00:23:01.759 --> 00:23:06.480 We, you know, we get all these emails all the time for people who've passed away in our fire department. 00:23:06.559 --> 00:23:14.079 Who, you know, he just retired and two months later retired, or some of them, you know, hey, he was a captain and he retired back in 1990 and this and that. 00:23:14.160 --> 00:23:16.240 It's like, I don't know who that is. 00:23:16.400 --> 00:23:21.920 I just delete the email, and that's not to be a jerk, but I'm like, okay, and I tell everyone, you're replaceable. 00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:26.400 This is a good job, and you want to do well, but when you're gone, that's it. 00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:27.279 It's over. 00:23:27.440 --> 00:23:29.200 You know, you're yeah, I mean, now what? 00:23:29.279 --> 00:23:29.519 Right? 00:23:29.599 --> 00:23:40.880 And you wrapped your whole life into this identity and this career, and because you put so much of your time into it, now you don't have a family, maybe your kids don't like you or they don't want to spend time with you, whatever it may be. 00:23:41.279 --> 00:23:42.400 Well, now what? 00:23:42.960 --> 00:23:50.160 And I see so many of uh retired, you know, or men and women that retire and have they struggle, they have a super, super hard time. 00:23:50.240 --> 00:23:51.680 And I've worked on that so hard now. 00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:54.559 But okay, you know, I've started a family a little bit later in life. 00:23:54.640 --> 00:23:56.720 Okay, I'm 40 years old, barely having my second kid. 00:23:56.799 --> 00:23:58.480 My daughter's 19 months old. 00:23:58.799 --> 00:24:01.839 Uh, thank God my wife is younger than me because she's got a lot of energy. 00:24:02.000 --> 00:24:07.839 Uh, but it really when I'm I remember when my daughter was born, that was legit, Dr. 00:24:07.920 --> 00:24:08.480 Maribel. 00:24:08.640 --> 00:24:10.480 That was the first time I felt like an adult. 00:24:10.960 --> 00:24:16.240 Oh my god, she's unresponsible and oh my god, I gotta keep this kid alive, man. 00:24:16.480 --> 00:24:25.599 And then it you know, it hit me, you know, when I leaving for work, it got harder to go to work and work the overtime or or you know, be even being there for two days. 00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:28.000 Like recently now she's really saying dad that. 00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:30.720 And I I get up early and play with her and do stuff, okay. 00:24:30.799 --> 00:24:32.960 I gotta go to work, and then she starts crying and hugs me. 00:24:33.039 --> 00:24:36.079 I'm just like, oh my gosh, dude, I want to stay home. 00:24:36.319 --> 00:24:50.559 But like how that's I think that's a very big struggle for a lot of people in this career field is because we push or it's been pushed that culture of get this job and serve and be involved, give back, and you know, this is raw, we're the best. 00:24:50.960 --> 00:24:52.960 Not only that, I mean the overtime is good, right? 00:24:53.200 --> 00:24:59.440 So you start getting the RV, the boat, the house, the overextend yourself a little bit, right? 00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:01.279 And I've seen it so many times. 00:25:01.359 --> 00:25:03.279 I'm like, hey guys, don't do this. 00:25:03.440 --> 00:25:08.799 And then eventually I'm like, oh, there it goes, you know, get the magnum, and who cares how much gas is. 00:25:08.880 --> 00:25:16.240 We're just gonna drive this car and get that car and get this, and you know, and and a lot of it though is the fight or flight. 00:25:16.559 --> 00:25:20.000 So that little high that you get when you get that call. 00:25:20.160 --> 00:25:24.720 Uh, I was in a ride along Alameda County, and uh I love one of their captains. 00:25:24.799 --> 00:25:26.799 He always invites me, hey, you're down here, come on. 00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:28.559 And I'm like, okay, I'm going on the rig. 00:25:28.720 --> 00:25:29.920 Yeah, and it's fun. 00:25:30.000 --> 00:25:35.200 And I just see it in their faces when they get that call, the fire call. 00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:36.799 Yeah, the actual fire call. 00:25:36.880 --> 00:25:41.200 They're like, Yeah, I mean, like literally pulling over in the street, changing right there. 00:25:41.359 --> 00:25:46.480 Their heart rates, I'm like, ooh, it's like 180 miles per hour right now. 00:25:47.200 --> 00:25:48.799 And then the call gets canceled. 00:25:49.279 --> 00:25:50.720 Yeah, there goes the class, right? 00:25:50.799 --> 00:25:54.240 You're just and then up and then down and then up and then down. 00:25:54.319 --> 00:25:56.160 And then

what happens when you leave work? 00:25:56.319 --> 00:25:58.079 You're still looking for that up. 00:25:58.240 --> 00:26:00.319 Yeah, your your body's looking for it. 00:26:00.480 --> 00:26:03.279 So um, that's where the life force comes in, right? 00:26:03.359 --> 00:26:10.799 Let's try to maintain you, get you back to your window of tolerance where you're not so high, not so low, but just kind of in that sweet spot. 00:26:10.880 --> 00:26:13.039 Like, okay, I can see what's happening now. 00:26:13.200 --> 00:26:14.559 Yeah, I can get back to that. 00:26:14.640 --> 00:26:18.000 And a lot of times I tell people, think about the I used to. 00:26:18.319 --> 00:26:23.920 Now, not the I used to party and spend and do all this stuff, because that that's a there's always two roads. 00:26:24.000 --> 00:26:26.640 There's the healthy road and then the unhealthy road. 00:26:26.720 --> 00:26:28.400 We we know both of them, right? 00:26:28.480 --> 00:26:32.079 And we know what's healthy for us, and we're like, okay, this is healthy. 00:26:32.240 --> 00:26:34.799 And the job is very unhealthy. 00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:38.400 The rotating schedules, the shift work is very unhealthy. 00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:42.799 So we have to combat that and work at it when we're off. 00:26:43.039 --> 00:26:48.400 And if we're in the unhealthy path when we're off, then it's gonna be much harder to get back on it. 00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:51.839 So once we start recognizing, going, hey, what am I doing? 00:26:52.000 --> 00:26:52.799 What am I not doing? 00:26:52.960 --> 00:26:54.240 Hey, do I even have a budget? 00:26:54.400 --> 00:26:56.160 Do I even know without the overtime? 00:26:56.240 --> 00:26:58.799 If I were to get hurt, what would happen? 00:26:58.960 --> 00:27:02.880 Yeah, if I were to quit my job today, would I be okay the next six months? 00:27:03.039 --> 00:27:08.319 Or else now I'm losing my house, losing my car, losing, I've seen it all, right? 00:27:08.480 --> 00:27:09.279 I've seen it all. 00:27:09.920 --> 00:27:11.759 Um, I worked during COVID. 00:27:12.240 --> 00:27:19.759 And that was eye-opening and seeing the the damage that the job did also to families, yeah, and the separation. 00:27:20.079 --> 00:27:29.920 And then after like people saying, I can't take this anymore, and then losing their jobs, losing their cars, losing everything, going from being that to working at Starbucks. 00:27:30.559 --> 00:27:30.880 Right. 00:27:30.960 --> 00:27:34.319 And so that identity and the loss of that. 00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:40.240 So I always tell people we can keep you in the field and just bring that little umph back. 00:27:40.400 --> 00:27:41.759 Let's figure it out. 00:27:41.920 --> 00:27:45.839 So um life force kind of came to me, and I've had that idea. 00:27:45.920 --> 00:27:50.079 Uh, it's not me that I didn't get the idea, it just kind of came and like hit me like lightning. 00:27:50.319 --> 00:27:51.279 Like, this is what you're doing. 00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:55.599 And I'm like, oh I mean, I've had it in my journal since 2003. 00:27:56.000 --> 00:28:00.000 I look back and I'm like, okay, God's always been there, God's always had my back. 00:28:00.160 --> 00:28:01.279 Yeah, it's not me. 00:28:01.440 --> 00:28:06.079 Sometimes I'm like, okay, I don't know what we're doing here, but let's like do this, God. 00:28:06.480 --> 00:28:11.039 And I feel like I've been very blessed to be in the right places the right time. 00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:15.200 Um, my son-in-law, he works for Santa Monica Fire, and he was like, Hey, do it. 00:28:15.359 --> 00:28:16.559 He's like, do it. 00:28:16.799 --> 00:28:19.599 And I did it, and I haven't turned back. 00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:26.720 And you know, I started with um probation and the probation boot camps, and I knew I wanted to do something and help people. 00:28:26.880 --> 00:28:31.200 And when I went to the fire stations, I was like, this is where I belong. 00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:33.440 Like, this is what I've been training for. 00:28:33.680 --> 00:28:38.240 Uh, never mind the fact that I lived with some firefighters in my younger days. 00:28:40.000 --> 00:28:41.359 That was my training. 00:28:41.519 --> 00:28:52.319 Yeah, my daughter is like, I remember uh having barbecues and like all this stuff, and and in hindsight, I'm like, oh my gosh, everyone in the house was coping. 00:28:52.480 --> 00:28:53.759 I worked with victims of crime. 00:28:53.920 --> 00:28:59.359 So I was a therapist working with Norwalk Station and the sheriffs and working with victims of crime. 00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:01.759 And I was like, nobody trains me for this. 00:29:01.920 --> 00:29:06.640 Like, I've seen some horrific things been there, along with PD, along with fire. 00:29:06.799 --> 00:29:11.519 And so I lived with some fire guys, and uh I was like, that was my training. 00:29:11.680 --> 00:29:17.359 You know, the Rosarito weekend trips that they did, the barbecues, the bonding, the talking, the laughing. 00:29:17.599 --> 00:29:20.319 I was like, oh, that's what helped them. 00:29:20.640 --> 00:29:24.000 We're losing some of that, that commodity in there. 00:29:24.079 --> 00:29:26.160 So we have to find it somewhere else. 00:29:26.480 --> 00:29:40.720 And the the dark humor, the talking about things that only you kind of understand, that that needs to stay because that's where you release some of the pressure and finding those healthy outlets. 00:29:40.880 --> 00:29:47.599 Um, I had someone in my office today, and um he uh he's hopefully getting ready to retire. 00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:56.319 And he he's like, I used to garden, and uh I finally have time to garden because uh he's taking some time off. 00:29:56.640 --> 00:30:01.039 He's like, I sat yesterday with my son for two hours and I played catch. 00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:02.799 It's like the best two hours of my life. 00:30:03.039 --> 00:30:03.519 That's awesome. 00:30:03.680 --> 00:30:11.200 Like I didn't realize how much I

worked, and and I remember seeing him just like three weeks ago, and I was like, hey, put your phone away. 00:30:11.599 --> 00:30:16.799 It was just going on and on and on in the emails, and you know, we we talked about it today. 00:30:16.880 --> 00:30:19.839 It's like, hey, three weeks later, you're in a different place. 00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:24.079 You're not looking for that phone and like what's happening in the department. 00:30:24.240 --> 00:30:25.599 I need to know, I need to know. 00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:29.359 And uh, you know, I speak Spanish, so firefighters are cheese muscles. 00:30:29.519 --> 00:30:30.079 Yeah, yeah. 00:30:30.799 --> 00:30:32.480 Telefire, telewire. 00:30:32.799 --> 00:30:33.359 Oh, yeah. 00:30:36.240 --> 00:30:38.000 Firefighters like middle school kids. 00:30:38.160 --> 00:30:38.960 Love you guys, yeah. 00:30:39.119 --> 00:30:40.960 And this middle school is always good at that. 00:30:41.119 --> 00:30:42.960 You're still like trying to find your spa. 00:30:43.039 --> 00:30:44.319 And and college kids, right? 00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:46.400 You live in a dorm, you hang out together. 00:30:46.559 --> 00:30:50.720 Um, I see now some of the new firehouses though are being a little more segregated. 00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:54.079 So I think that's a little more detrimental because you're just on your phone. 00:30:54.400 --> 00:30:56.880 I was just talking with somebody about that. 00:30:57.039 --> 00:31:04.559 Um, gosh, it was a can't remember who it was, but he's been oh, he's retired now, and he teaches at the college that that that I teach at. 00:31:04.720 --> 00:31:07.279 And um, that's something we we talked about this morning. 00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:10.480 And he said, Yeah, it's just fire service has changed a lot. 00:31:10.720 --> 00:31:12.880 And I told him, like, hey, I just changed stations. 00:31:13.039 --> 00:31:20.960 Um I'm on a truck now, I'm at one of the newest stations in uh Orange County, and we got a brand new truck, and it's a beautiful station, state of the art. 00:31:21.200 --> 00:31:26.880 But yeah, everything's everyone's got their separate rooms, and yeah, I get it, I understand things have changed. 00:31:26.960 --> 00:31:33.519 We have females in the fire service, and people need privacy and all that, but it's also kind of taken away from the camaraderie. 00:31:33.599 --> 00:31:35.359 But I think my station does it very well. 00:31:35.839 --> 00:31:48.880 Uh we train together, we we eat together, and then typically in the evening after we cook dinner, we throw all the dishes in the uh the sink, and then we go out and play cornhole, and it's the engine versus the truck. 00:31:49.359 --> 00:31:53.039 And whoever loses does the dishes, which is really cool. 00:31:53.119 --> 00:32:18.240 I I think it's cool because it builds that camaraderie get to know everybody, and it's um there's just been an I'm trying to say that I want to use the right words here, but how how do you how do you get people like

myself and other first responders to not leave the job, their identity, and kind of come back to who they truly are, right? 00:32:18.400 --> 00:32:21.359 And not put everything into their career. 00:32:22.319 --> 00:32:23.279 Sorry, excuse me. 00:32:23.440 --> 00:32:24.720 I'm still getting over being sick. 00:32:24.799 --> 00:32:26.160 I was sick for like three weeks, it was terrible. 00:32:26.240 --> 00:32:28.960 I don't know what happened, but yeah, I still got this cough. 00:32:29.119 --> 00:32:42.720 But how do you how do you explain or talk to people when everything is just wrapped up in their career and their identity, and they don't realize like this career that you're in is good, but you don't realize it's starting, it's tearing you down. 00:32:42.960 --> 00:32:47.440 But yet you're going going back for more, more and more and more. 00:32:47.839 --> 00:32:56.960 And everything's wrapped up into this, and they're dealing with depression and drinking and addiction and divorces and all these things, and yet they keep going back to work. 00:32:57.359 --> 00:33:01.759 Well, I need well, of course they have to work, but now we pick it up more overtime, more overtime, more overtime. 00:33:02.000 --> 00:33:04.400 Yeah, it's also work feels normal. 00:33:05.680 --> 00:33:09.359 So in my abnormal life, this is normal. 00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:11.200 This is the chaos. 00:33:11.599 --> 00:33:18.480 I'm in control, I know what I'm doing, everything has a place, everything has a number, there's an SOP for everything. 00:33:19.039 --> 00:33:21.200 When I go home, everything's out of control. 00:33:21.359 --> 00:33:24.400 When I'm alone, everything's out of control. 00:33:25.039 --> 00:33:35.440 And so it's before the out of control that we need to just start paying attention to what happens when we leave because everything has a place at work. 00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:38.079 We don't have places at home. 00:33:38.160 --> 00:33:44.240 Look at us with our trash cans out, and we're like, oh shoot, crash day was Monday. 00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:48.079 I love how you tell I love how you came up there like I knew which house was yours. 00:33:48.319 --> 00:33:48.720 I did. 00:33:48.960 --> 00:33:53.359 I was like, okay, I didn't even see the flag till afterwards, but I can always spot the house, right? 00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:56.000 Yeah, because you have to have it controlled. 00:33:56.240 --> 00:33:58.640 Oh, yeah, everything's well manicured and looks good. 00:33:59.680 --> 00:34:02.000 You need to stand outside, you go, yep, my house. 00:34:02.160 --> 00:34:02.480 Yeah. 00:34:02.640 --> 00:34:07.200 Uh I had a house in my corner, and uh I I knew I was like, that guy's a fire. 00:34:07.599 --> 00:34:10.239 I just have to figure out which department he works for. 00:34:10.400 --> 00:34:10.800 Yeah. 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:11.920 And then I knew it. 00:34:12.000 --> 00:34:17.039 It was on one day he was outside his door, he was taking Christmas pictures and he had

LA City jacket on. 00:34:17.119 --> 00:34:19.280 I was like, okay, I have to find out whose house that is. 00:34:19.440 --> 00:34:22.880 Because I've seen that house being remodeled, and I wish I'd taken pictures of it. 00:34:22.960 --> 00:34:23.280 Yeah. 00:34:23.519 --> 00:34:25.760 And uh I was like, that's the house. 00:34:26.000 --> 00:34:29.039 And um, I love though, he fixed it with his wife. 00:34:29.280 --> 00:34:34.239 Oh, and so I can just just driving by every day, coming home from work, I'm like, that's healthy. 00:34:34.480 --> 00:34:37.199 On his days off, he was still fixing the house. 00:34:37.280 --> 00:34:39.920 Yeah, but his wife and his kids were outside with him. 00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:48.639 Yeah, and I could see him take that time off, play with his kids, and there's some parks around there, so I walk constantly and I was walking my dogs, and and I'm like, that's healthy. 00:34:49.440 --> 00:34:57.440 So getting back to your question, just going online, looking at a wellness wheel, and like you said, a reality check. 00:34:58.000 --> 00:34:58.960 Where am I at? 00:34:59.440 --> 00:35:00.480 Where do I stand? 00:35:00.880 --> 00:35:05.280 Sometimes you look at that and you go, Oh shoot, okay, I need to fix my finances. 00:35:06.320 --> 00:35:07.280 I need to fix. 00:35:07.679 --> 00:35:10.320 I think when I did mine, I was like, I love to travel. 00:35:10.960 --> 00:35:12.320 When's the last time you traveled? 00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:14.239 Seven years ago. 00:35:14.639 --> 00:35:19.360 And I was like, oh shoot, okay, let me look at my list of where I want to travel. 00:35:20.159 --> 00:35:21.840 And let me just add that in there. 00:35:22.320 --> 00:35:24.000 Add those moments, I always tell people. 00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:27.039 It's called screen of the mind. 00:35:28.159 --> 00:35:36.400 Take a picture of somewhere you want to go, take a picture of something you want to eat, and just start doing those things. 00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:41.440 You know, look at a screensaver and right click, and I'm like, oh, I want to go there. 00:35:42.079 --> 00:35:43.760 One of them was uh in Greece. 00:35:44.079 --> 00:35:45.840 I was like, I want to go there. 00:35:46.079 --> 00:35:48.800 I want to stand in that spot and I want to go there. 00:35:49.280 --> 00:35:52.559 And when I actually went, I was like, oh my gosh, I am here. 00:35:53.199 --> 00:35:58.719 Like I'm actually here, but not just being there and going, okay, I'm here. 00:35:58.880 --> 00:36:00.159 Like, what am I seeing? 00:36:00.320 --> 00:36:01.599 What am I smelling? 00:36:01.840 --> 00:36:03.280 Can I taste anything? 00:36:03.679 --> 00:36:06.880 And going through all the senses and going, like, I made it. 00:36:07.280 --> 00:36:09.119 What's my and that's a big one, right? 00:36:09.199 --> 00:36:11.199 And there's those small moments all as well. 00:36:11.360 --> 00:36:11.599 Yeah. 00:36:11.760 --> 00:36:16.079 Because at work we see things, we hear things, they don't feel good. 00:36:16.239 --> 00:36:18.480 Yeah, they don't smell good. 00:36:18.800 --> 00:36:20.639 No, oh my gosh. 00:36:20.960 --> 00:36:22.159 Oh my goodness. 00:36:22.320 --> 00:36:26.639 No, I know when I went with Alabama, they're like, Oh, we got a good room today. 00:36:26.719 --> 00:36:27.440 Yeah, well, Dr. 00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:28.079 Maribel. 00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:30.320 And I was like, Oh, we didn't get the hoarding one. 00:36:30.400 --> 00:36:35.039 And I was like, Well, I mean, we just had to be careful not to step on some needles walking up there, right? 00:36:35.119 --> 00:36:38.880 Yeah, and just the reality of the people that call. 00:36:39.599 --> 00:36:46.239 I had an incident last week and I called LA County fire, and I was like, Help, I've fallen, I can't get up. 00:36:46.480 --> 00:36:51.119 And I was like, Oh, this is why I tell my girls, clean the house because you never know who's gonna come over. 00:36:51.920 --> 00:36:52.880 You never know. 00:36:57.440 --> 00:36:59.280 I said, What station are you in? 00:36:59.440 --> 00:37:00.639 And he's like, 82s. 00:37:00.800 --> 00:37:03.920 And I said, Oh, shoot, I think I met you guys last time. 00:37:04.239 --> 00:37:05.840 I was like, Okay, I look, I look okay. 00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:09.920 I was like, but hey, it was my worst moment, and I was able to call. 00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:13.280 Yeah, and I was like, Hey you guys, sorry about the call, 5 a.m. 00:37:13.440 --> 00:37:13.920 in the morning. 00:37:14.079 --> 00:37:15.519 I was just trying to go to cycling. 00:37:15.679 --> 00:37:24.400 I apologize because you're you look like you just woke up right now, and you're just about to like you're taking a good nap and you get that one call, right? 00:37:24.719 --> 00:37:25.679 The elderly call. 00:37:25.760 --> 00:37:32.079 And I remember when I work for LAFD 101, so I would tell them, so you know, when I'm old and bored, you know what I'm gonna do? 00:37:32.239 --> 00:37:36.719 Get that little life alert and just push on that so you guys could come over. 00:37:37.119 --> 00:37:40.480 Because that's like some people in that area, that's all they did. 00:37:40.559 --> 00:37:42.079 And they're like, I'm cooking. 00:37:42.159 --> 00:37:42.800 Do you want to eat? 00:37:42.880 --> 00:37:44.880 They're like, No, I do not want to eat in your house. 00:37:45.039 --> 00:37:46.880 Yeah, that's why you push your life up. 00:37:47.039 --> 00:37:51.519 Oh my gosh, those are things ever made. 00:37:51.599 --> 00:37:52.480 I really do. 00:37:52.800 --> 00:37:56.400 Because people roll over and they lay on them, or they're out and about and they hit them. 00:37:56.480 --> 00:37:58.000 We respond to their house, there's nobody there. 00:37:58.159 --> 00:37:59.599 It's almost like a car alarm, right? 00:37:59.679 --> 00:37:59.840 Yeah. 00:38:00.000 --> 00:38:02.320 When they first came out, oh my gosh, car alarm, someone's robbed. 00:38:02.480 --> 00:38:04.639 Now you hear them, you're

like, uh, you don't even look, right? 00:38:04.719 --> 00:38:06.239 You think, oh, it's just a car alarm going off. 00:38:06.320 --> 00:38:07.119 That's it's no big deal. 00:38:07.360 --> 00:38:12.000 But you know, that that interrupted sleep, and you're like, oh, I was finally like in a good spot. 00:38:12.159 --> 00:38:16.639 And so part of it is the job, and then you just go, okay, what can I do? 00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:18.880 Because we are going to get those calls. 00:38:19.039 --> 00:38:19.360 Yeah. 00:38:19.519 --> 00:38:22.320 So maybe I do a 30-second meditation. 00:38:22.480 --> 00:38:28.159 Um, maybe I sit down and I talk about like what was impactful of my day today. 00:38:28.480 --> 00:38:31.920 Impactful can be anything, could be good, could be not so good. 00:38:32.159 --> 00:38:37.679 So that those are the moments that kind of stick with you, and you're like, hmm, I don't know why that kind of affected me. 00:38:37.840 --> 00:38:38.000 Yeah. 00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:40.559 And then you look at it and go, Well, I know why. 00:38:40.719 --> 00:38:44.079 Because when you sit back and look at it, you go, I personalize that. 00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:49.119 Um, sorry to hear about your brother because being in the fire service, right? 00:38:49.199 --> 00:38:51.920 How many calls did you get where that came up? 00:38:52.320 --> 00:38:53.679 Uh many. 00:38:53.840 --> 00:38:54.079 Yeah. 00:38:54.400 --> 00:39:03.599 Many calls were uh we go on car accidents and there's people with fatalities, and the first thing I think about is my brother. 00:39:03.760 --> 00:39:12.800 And you know, I did the wrong thing uh when I was because I think it was only like six months or five months after he died that I turned 18. 00:39:12.880 --> 00:39:27.679 And I remember uh he was so he was in a car accident in Joshua Tree, so it's San Bardino County and got the accident report, and then you can request the photos in my head, like I want to find some closure in this. 00:39:27.760 --> 00:39:31.840 And I requested the accident scene photos, which was like the worst thing I probably ever could have done. 00:39:32.000 --> 00:39:32.239 Yeah. 00:39:32.480 --> 00:39:48.079 Seeing those photos and seeing him um, because he was ejected, he was in a rollover vehicle accident, his girlfriend was thrown from the vehicle, um, and she was thrown uh free and clear, but my brother was rolled, and uh a witness said he was thrown right into the ground and the vehicle rolled over him. 00:39:48.320 --> 00:39:49.360 So he was a mess. 00:39:49.599 --> 00:40:00.159 And then you know, you see all that, and um, I will be honest with you, those those seeing those pictures haunt me at times because I'll go on calls and I think about my brother. 00:40:00.480 --> 00:40:17.679 I think about you know, it's like dang man, that's um it's very sobering, you know, those things stick with you, and it's really interesting in it again in our career field because you kind of have to learn to carp compartmentalize and shut your emotions down. 00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:21.119 You have to be the consummate professional, and you have to be there to serve the people. 00:40:21.280 --> 00:40:25.840 And you know, if we lose control or we get emotional on the scene, the public's gonna lose their mind. 00:40:26.400 --> 00:40:26.559 Right? 00:40:26.639 --> 00:40:28.400 So you gotta learn to shut that down. 00:40:28.480 --> 00:40:38.079 And um, there's been many calls that have bothered me, and I don't say anything about it, but it wears on you over time because the you know, we see violence to its nth degree. 00:40:38.480 --> 00:40:43.119 You know, we also see um very the best in humanity. 00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:49.840 We also see people who are before we get there, they go and save people out of a fire pole and out of a car or whatever. 00:40:50.079 --> 00:40:56.159 And then we I also see that with my fellow firefighters, but then on the opposite side of that, you see a lot of violence, you see a lot of death. 00:40:56.400 --> 00:41:01.280 I mean, yeah, you see death damn near on a daily basis when we go to work, right? 00:41:01.360 --> 00:41:06.079 And he I hate to say this, but it gets to a point, at least for me, and this happened a couple weeks ago. 00:41:06.159 --> 00:41:07.199 I remember I caught myself after. 00:41:07.280 --> 00:41:08.719 I'm like, gosh, why did I do that? 00:41:08.960 --> 00:41:15.280 But it was somebody uh who had passed away when we went in and we called him, and the police are there, there's no family around. 00:41:15.360 --> 00:41:16.800 And I'm like, Okay, yeah, he's dead. 00:41:16.880 --> 00:41:18.239 Hey, where do you guys want to get dinner? 00:41:18.719 --> 00:41:18.960 Right. 00:41:19.039 --> 00:41:21.199 And I remember thinking, like, oh, that was really cold-hearted. 00:41:21.280 --> 00:41:24.239 I remember hearing one of the police officers goes, officers go, geez. 00:41:24.800 --> 00:41:25.119 Right? 00:41:25.199 --> 00:41:31.679 You just you kind of have this like compassion fatigue in a way, where it's just for us, it's normal. 00:41:31.760 --> 00:41:43.760 Where you probably know this better than I do, but I remember reading this uh study that they did on first responders, and I think the average person maybe sees two to three traumatic deaths in their lifetime, some something violent. 00:41:44.079 --> 00:41:45.039 It's like one or two, yeah. 00:41:45.119 --> 00:41:47.199 What maybe one or two if that, right? 00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:51.519 Yeah, and we see it all the time, all the time. 00:41:52.159 --> 00:42:25.119 And you know, I I wanted to ask you about this because I I for me it played a big part, but coming back to my faith during those really, really dark times, I do think my faith played a part in my recovery because I was at my wits' end, I was making terrible decisions, going through a divorce, I deserved it, and I just remember feeling so broken, so brokenhearted, and thinking, man, I did everything

our culture, my parents and everyone in the fire service said to do. 00:42:25.199 --> 00:42:29.039 I was I went to the fire academy, got my EMT, became a paramedic. 00:42:29.119 --> 00:42:41.039 I'm working this job, I got homes, I've been traveling, I got the truck that I want, I have multiple motorcycles, this, my bank account's growing, I'm working the overtime, and yet I am so completely empty. 00:42:41.280 --> 00:42:42.079 Yeah, soulless. 00:42:42.559 --> 00:42:42.960 100%. 00:42:43.519 --> 00:42:46.800 And I remember thinking, dude, what is the point of all this? 00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:48.400 Why the hell am I here? 00:42:48.559 --> 00:42:52.400 What am I doing on this piece of dirt floating through space and time? 00:42:52.639 --> 00:42:55.679 And I grew up in a very strict Christian home. 00:42:55.840 --> 00:43:00.400 That 90s Calvary Travel church always tell people it's just like turn or burn, you know. 00:43:00.639 --> 00:43:05.199 Um, and I walked away from my faith for a long time, yeah, probably about 10 years. 00:43:05.440 --> 00:43:07.039 And I was like, I'm gonna do it my way. 00:43:07.199 --> 00:43:08.880 Well, let me tell you something, Dr. 00:43:08.960 --> 00:43:09.599 Maribel. 00:43:10.079 --> 00:43:11.280 That shit didn't work out at all. 00:43:13.679 --> 00:43:15.280 I mean, let's be real, right? 00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:18.639 It's fun for a moment, but there's a price to pay, right? 00:43:18.719 --> 00:43:20.559 You you make good choices, you reap the benefit. 00:43:20.639 --> 00:43:24.079 You make bad choices, you're going to reap the consequences. 00:43:24.320 --> 00:43:25.199 And I did. 00:43:25.360 --> 00:43:30.159 And I remember being again, it was it was up here, and I was just like, oh my God, I don't know what to do. 00:43:30.239 --> 00:43:31.920 Like, I'm I don't want to live. 00:43:32.239 --> 00:43:38.719 How do I have everything that everyone says is is success, and yet I am absolutely miserable out of my mind? 00:43:39.119 --> 00:43:42.239 Dabbling in drugs, I never should have been freaking dabbling in. 00:43:42.639 --> 00:43:46.480 And um I remember that that's when I prayed for the first time in a long time. 00:43:47.039 --> 00:43:47.440 A long time. 00:43:47.519 --> 00:43:57.920 It's hard for me not to get emotional, but it was um it was hard because um I just felt so utterly lost. 00:43:58.320 --> 00:43:59.760 And I remember praying. 00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:05.199 Praying and I'm like, man, if you're there, if you're real, um, you gotta do something. 00:44:05.519 --> 00:44:08.239 Please do something because I don't even want to live. 00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:09.760 I don't know what what to do. 00:44:09.920 --> 00:44:12.239 I don't know where I'm at, what's going on. 00:44:12.559 --> 00:44:21.199 But if you truly are the Christ, the one who raised rose from the dead and you died for me and you said you're gonna make a way, I need you to make a way right now. 00:44:21.360 --> 00:44:22.480 I need something. 00:44:22.719 --> 00:44:27.119 And I remember that was the first time in a long time that I slept really, really good. 00:44:27.440 --> 00:44:29.039 Because sleep deprivation is huge. 00:44:30.639 --> 00:44:32.159 Our sleep cycle is terribly off. 00:44:32.639 --> 00:44:37.920 I slept good that night and I got up and I remember downloading the app or the Bible app on my phone. 00:44:38.079 --> 00:44:39.760 I just started reading the verse of the day. 00:44:39.920 --> 00:44:44.400 And I say this often on here, but uh here I am, just this guy living like a complete piece of shit. 00:44:44.559 --> 00:44:49.360 Um then I uh I sit here wagering with the God of the universe. 00:44:49.519 --> 00:44:50.960 I'll give you a month. 00:44:51.440 --> 00:44:52.559 I'm gonna give you a month. 00:44:52.639 --> 00:44:54.480 I'm gonna read the verse of the day. 00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:58.960 And if I don't see change and you don't show up, I'll never come back. 00:44:59.440 --> 00:45:02.719 That month turned into two months, six months, year. 00:45:03.039 --> 00:45:07.440 My wife, she was raised Buddhist, she ended up getting baptized and getting saved. 00:45:07.599 --> 00:45:09.440 She went through her own issues. 00:45:09.679 --> 00:45:17.920 I did, I gave my life back to the Lord, and it's so hard to explain to people, but something changed. 00:45:18.159 --> 00:45:19.440 Hope came back. 00:45:20.079 --> 00:45:21.440 Something, yeah, it was weird. 00:45:21.519 --> 00:45:24.239 I don't know what it is or how to even explain it. 00:45:24.400 --> 00:45:26.159 And I will say this my faith is gritty. 00:45:26.239 --> 00:45:29.119 I still say stupid jokes, I still cuss every once in a while. 00:45:29.199 --> 00:45:29.840 It is what it is. 00:45:30.079 --> 00:45:31.199 The Lord Jesus forgives. 00:45:31.360 --> 00:45:32.239 Yeah, yes, he does. 00:45:32.400 --> 00:45:33.199 Thank you, Jesus. 00:45:34.400 --> 00:45:35.840 That's what my pastor says. 00:45:36.159 --> 00:45:48.559 Yeah, but it was that was the first time I I can truly say in my life like Jesus felt real to me because I that's when I felt like this dude saved me. 00:45:48.800 --> 00:45:50.079 He came in and he made a way. 00:45:50.239 --> 00:45:54.719 It wasn't easy, it wasn't like snap of the fingers, I give my life to God, and things get better. 00:45:54.880 --> 00:45:56.000 I still had to put the work in. 00:45:56.079 --> 00:46:01.280 Yeah, I still needed to change, I still need to stop my bad habits, I still need to go to therapy and do all these things. 00:46:01.440 --> 00:46:05.840 But it was like over time, it just started chipping away, chipping away and chipping away. 00:46:05.920 --> 00:46:09.039 And it just like, yeah, I started feeling better. 00:46:09.119 --> 00:46:10.480 I started having better thoughts. 00:46:10.639 --> 00:46:13.440 I started stopping doing certain things I shouldn't have been doing. 00:46:13.599 --> 00:46:15.920 And I had that hope that came back. 00:46:16.320 --> 00:46:23.760

And it was it was one of those things now for me, like, you know, my faith is real because I've been through the fire. 00:46:23.920 --> 00:46:31.760 I I've been that I'm the prodigal son who walked away and putting God first to my life and asking to come back in. 00:46:31.840 --> 00:46:32.880 Like I can see it firsthand. 00:46:32.960 --> 00:46:35.199 People say miracles, they don't see miracles anymore. 00:46:35.440 --> 00:46:38.239 I am absolutely a fucking walking miracle. 00:46:38.480 --> 00:46:39.199 Straight up. 00:46:39.440 --> 00:46:42.880 There's no there's no reason I should have the things that I have or have my family. 00:46:42.960 --> 00:46:45.920 Like I was not a good person and I didn't want to live. 00:46:46.000 --> 00:46:50.239 And there's so many things that I went through and decisions that I made, and I look back and I see it now. 00:46:50.320 --> 00:46:52.559 I'm like, dude, you were walking with me the entire way. 00:46:52.800 --> 00:46:54.079 You're just waiting for me. 00:46:54.320 --> 00:46:55.679 And it's humbling. 00:46:55.840 --> 00:46:58.159 It truly is humbling because people always say, Oh, how you doing? 00:46:58.320 --> 00:46:59.519 And I feel it and I say this. 00:46:59.679 --> 00:47:02.000 I am blessed beyond what I freaking deserve. 00:47:02.159 --> 00:47:03.360 I don't deserve any of this. 00:47:03.519 --> 00:47:06.400 Yet he still loves me and he still helps me. 00:47:06.480 --> 00:47:13.039 And that's why I try to like I want to bring that up and ask you is do you think in all of your because you have a doctorate, correct? 00:47:13.119 --> 00:47:14.400 I mean you're doctor Maribel. 00:47:15.199 --> 00:47:16.880 I do clinical psycho. 00:47:17.280 --> 00:47:18.239 Yeah, very smart woman. 00:47:19.840 --> 00:47:30.000 It in your in the time that you've worked and everything, because you have a long history of of being in this field and helping us, does faith play a big part in people healing? 00:47:30.320 --> 00:47:30.719 Yeah. 00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:38.960 And and when you were talking, uh, Bible verse came to me of greater is he that is in you than he is in the world, right? 00:47:39.119 --> 00:47:47.039 So the the world is so chaotic, yeah, so unstable, and we are taught to disagree. 00:47:47.679 --> 00:47:50.800 And if we look at it, we have more similarities. 00:47:51.440 --> 00:47:56.480 And at the end of the day, we're the soul, and we're made after him. 00:47:56.960 --> 00:48:02.639 So if I'm made after him and I'm doing these shenanigans, right? 00:48:02.880 --> 00:48:04.159 Then what does that say? 00:48:04.480 --> 00:48:06.079 It's like I'm stepping out of line. 00:48:06.239 --> 00:48:08.960 Let me figure out how to get back in order. 00:48:09.199 --> 00:48:16.159 And in order in a chaotic world feels sometimes like we're a little reluctant, like, uh, I don't like this, right? 00:48:16.320 --> 00:48:16.639 Yeah. 00:48:16.800 --> 00:48:20.000 But after a while, the discipline, you're like, I feel good.

00:48:20.559 --> 00:48:22.719 Like, I feel really good right now. 00:48:22.880 --> 00:48:24.559 Okay, what am I doing now? 00:48:24.880 --> 00:48:35.280 Whether it's I'm working out, I'm doing yoga, I'm meditating, I'm journaling, I'm you know, I'm seeing someone, I'm talking about those things that brought that shame and the pain. 00:48:36.000 --> 00:48:40.000 And I know you shared about your brother, and that's painful. 00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:45.360 And it's painful, and you saw pictures and it's real, and it's raw. 00:48:45.760 --> 00:48:50.880 And out of that rawness and that realness comes your greatest gift. 00:48:51.920 --> 00:49:02.159 And if we can turn whatever pain we have into our greatest gift, that's what we were meant to be and to go through. 00:49:02.239 --> 00:49:09.199 Like we're human beings, we're not human doers, but we're taught to do do do, right? 00:49:09.440 --> 00:49:10.880 Accomplish, do this, do that. 00:49:11.039 --> 00:49:15.440 And at the end of the day, when you're just being what shows up. 00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:20.880 And if you don't like what shows up, then start showing up for yourself. 00:49:21.199 --> 00:49:23.519 And we show up for other people all the time. 00:49:23.760 --> 00:49:25.280 And I've had those in my career, right? 00:49:25.360 --> 00:49:27.039 I'm like therapist, 60 hours. 00:49:27.119 --> 00:49:29.840 I was like, hey, like, I'm burnt out. 00:49:30.079 --> 00:49:30.639 I'm sure. 00:49:30.800 --> 00:49:30.880 Right? 00:49:31.119 --> 00:49:32.400 Oh my gosh, I'm sure. 00:49:32.559 --> 00:49:33.039 Yeah. 00:49:33.599 --> 00:49:35.920 Like, oh man, what am I gonna do? 00:49:36.159 --> 00:49:44.239 And and I talk a lot about like self-care, but self-care is not always the neat, pretty, go get your nails, go get your hair done, and all this. 00:49:44.320 --> 00:49:47.440 Like, self-care is like, okay, what do I really need to work on? 00:49:47.920 --> 00:49:54.480 And you know, I I go to groups, I talk to my people, I see people, and I'm like, hey, I need help with this. 00:49:54.639 --> 00:49:57.039 Hey, I need this guidance, I need this. 00:49:57.280 --> 00:49:59.840 Um, you know, I've been working on a book. 00:50:00.079 --> 00:50:02.559 Uh, my editor likes to say two years. 00:50:02.719 --> 00:50:05.199 I'm like, lady, it's only been a year and five months. 00:50:05.360 --> 00:50:06.320 It's not ready yet. 00:50:06.559 --> 00:50:07.920 Is this the one that you sent me? 00:50:08.000 --> 00:50:09.199 Is it the courage behind the bag? 00:50:09.280 --> 00:50:09.440 Yeah. 00:50:09.679 --> 00:50:10.480 That's the one you're working on? 00:50:10.559 --> 00:50:10.719 Yeah. 00:50:10.880 --> 00:50:11.760 Okay, so that's not out yet. 00:50:12.000 --> 00:50:12.400 Not out yet. 00:50:12.639 --> 00:50:13.760 Okay, because I was gonna bring that up. 00:50:13.840 --> 00:50:15.199 Like, where can we get that book? 00:50:15.440 --> 00:50:16.079 It's not out yet. 00:50:16.239 --> 00:50:17.280 Okay, it will be out.

00:50:17.440 --> 00:50:17.679 Okay. 00:50:17.920 --> 00:50:21.199 And uh uh the guy in the front cover is my son-in-law. 00:50:21.360 --> 00:50:21.599 Oh, okay. 00:50:21.840 --> 00:50:36.400 And so this actual picture that was taken during COVID 2020, and um, you know, had some gnarly words on the car for first responders, and I had that taken out, and I was like, hey, I want to use your picture in this. 00:50:36.719 --> 00:50:44.239 And um, that book is very meaningful because it has stories of courage behind the badge, right? 00:50:44.320 --> 00:50:50.400 And it's people that have shared with me their intimate stories that said, I want the world to know. 00:50:51.039 --> 00:51:00.960 Um, I have Deputy Gross, and she shares her story where she's like, if I would have known, I wish I would have known, I would have gone help sooner. 00:51:01.199 --> 00:51:03.360 And now I'm cleaning up the mess. 00:51:03.519 --> 00:51:15.199 Um, I have um Captain Munoz, who um he said when they called him and said, Hey, there's a treatment center for first responders, he's like, No, you're you're you're crazy. 00:51:15.280 --> 00:51:15.920 Yeah, crazy. 00:51:16.320 --> 00:51:16.880 I'm not crazy. 00:51:17.760 --> 00:51:19.840 I'm not gonna places like that. 00:51:20.000 --> 00:51:21.440 Like, come on, yeah. 00:51:21.679 --> 00:51:26.000 And uh he's funny because he had said Great Wolf Lodge and he would get drunk there. 00:51:26.079 --> 00:51:31.280 And he's like, That was my night where um March 12th he got sober, and that's my kid's birthday. 00:51:31.360 --> 00:51:32.800 So I was like, Oh, March 12th. 00:51:32.880 --> 00:51:35.840 I was like, I will always remember your day of sobriety. 00:51:36.159 --> 00:51:41.519 And uh, I didn't know there was a great wolf lodge in Mantica, so I had to correct that in my book. 00:51:41.760 --> 00:51:42.480 I didn't know that either. 00:51:42.559 --> 00:51:43.599 I know that's what it grows. 00:51:44.000 --> 00:51:44.880 Everyone just learned that. 00:51:44.960 --> 00:51:47.760 I was like, hey, North has North Cal has one too. 00:51:48.000 --> 00:51:48.719 Wow, I don't know. 00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:53.119 Yeah, and and so um the book is very special to me. 00:51:53.280 --> 00:51:58.960 Yeah, um, it also talks a little bit about suicide and kind of like ways to prevent it. 00:51:59.360 --> 00:52:00.159 It should be talked about. 00:52:00.320 --> 00:52:10.800 It it seems like that's a very taboo subject for a lot of people, but as you know, that is almost honestly, it's oh, really close to being the number one killer of at least I know firefighters. 00:52:11.039 --> 00:52:13.119 It is the number one killer for firefighters, yeah. 00:52:13.440 --> 00:52:15.519 PD, it's like second or third. 00:52:15.760 --> 00:52:21.360 Um why okay, so it's number one occupational hazard um right now through the IFF. 00:52:21.599 --> 00:52:29.920 So is there I'm gonna I I have to ask this why is suicide the number one killer of firefighters now?

00:52:30.960 --> 00:52:32.400 There's various reasons. 00:52:32.480 --> 00:52:34.320 Um that's like a load of questions, huh? 00:52:34.719 --> 00:52:37.280 Yeah, I mean, one, we don't talk about it. 00:52:38.000 --> 00:52:40.960 So what are we doing about this occupational hazard? 00:52:41.360 --> 00:52:48.719 Uh anyone that's been in the workmen's comp system knows that you have to go through hoops and prove it's a nightmare and it's debilitating. 00:52:49.119 --> 00:52:50.719 Um you're like screw it. 00:52:51.199 --> 00:52:57.840 Uh, if we look at Southern California, we've had um so many deaths this past year. 00:52:58.639 --> 00:53:02.400 And you can always tell, at least I can tell also the time. 00:53:02.480 --> 00:53:04.960 I'm like, line of duty death, that was a suicide. 00:53:05.599 --> 00:53:06.400 That was a suicide. 00:53:06.719 --> 00:53:09.440 And then I'll get calls like, hey, my buddy, off themselves. 00:53:10.400 --> 00:53:12.559 Um, I also worked for TCTI. 00:53:13.039 --> 00:53:17.679 Um, I did, I was on their crisis team and I'd hear and I'm like, okay, suicide. 00:53:18.239 --> 00:53:18.800 Suicide. 00:53:19.679 --> 00:53:24.800 And pain and that lack of hope. 00:53:25.599 --> 00:53:26.960 And that silence. 00:53:27.599 --> 00:53:30.960 So I've had a few where people were like, it doesn't make sense. 00:53:31.679 --> 00:53:33.360 They were happy, they were good. 00:53:34.079 --> 00:53:36.400 And my question was like, did they have back pain? 00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:39.760 Did they have what were they doing? 00:53:40.559 --> 00:53:40.880 Right? 00:53:41.039 --> 00:53:42.639 So what happens when you have surgery? 00:53:42.800 --> 00:53:46.559 You have back pain, you're carrying all this stuff, the body keeps core. 00:53:47.760 --> 00:53:49.920 And then you're like, there's nothing left of me. 00:53:50.159 --> 00:53:53.760 I can't surf anymore, I can't do the things that I did. 00:53:54.239 --> 00:53:56.159 My family would be better off without me. 00:53:56.480 --> 00:53:57.440 Which is a lie. 00:53:57.920 --> 00:53:59.440 But we buy into the lie. 00:54:00.719 --> 00:54:03.199 And so I call it the S word. 00:54:03.760 --> 00:54:04.000 Right? 00:54:04.079 --> 00:54:04.960 Because we don't want to talk about it. 00:54:05.119 --> 00:54:05.840 Like, oh, it doesn't exist. 00:54:06.000 --> 00:54:06.719 Oh, nobody wants to talk about it. 00:54:06.880 --> 00:54:09.679 But it's like it's like number one, number three is uh cancer. 00:54:10.320 --> 00:54:11.679 So we're like, hey, what are we doing? 00:54:12.159 --> 00:54:15.280 We can talk about cancer, but we can't talk about suicide. 00:54:15.920 --> 00:54:19.519 And if there's ways to prevent it, let's look at those ways. 00:54:20.079 --> 00:54:23.199 And we talked a little bit about earlier what your station does, right? 00:54:23.519 --> 00:54:27.760 So it does, it comes back to us individually and going, okay, what do I need to do today? 00:54:28.000 --> 00:54:30.239 How do I build

relationships with people? 00:54:30.719 --> 00:54:34.400 How do I stay in touch and like true authenticity? 00:54:34.800 --> 00:54:37.679 And if you're not okay, being like, hey, I'm not okay. 00:54:38.159 --> 00:54:40.320 Because we're not taught that in the fire service. 00:54:40.480 --> 00:54:40.880 You're not okay. 00:54:41.039 --> 00:54:50.000 Well, I don't want to be on that call with that guy because that guy's gonna have to save my life or that girl, or you get astigmatism, like everyone looks at you like, well, he's the weird guy who's too emotional. 00:54:50.239 --> 00:54:56.159 Yeah, oh, he's all emotional all the time, and but they go home and they cry while they're in the shower. 00:54:56.320 --> 00:54:56.639 Yeah. 00:54:56.800 --> 00:54:57.119 Right. 00:54:57.199 --> 00:55:04.719 So just really like having that reality check and saying, like, hey, um, I think people in leadership, like if you're the captain, saying, like, hey, that was hard for me. 00:55:04.880 --> 00:55:06.079 What was that like for you guys? 00:55:06.239 --> 00:55:06.880 Sheesh. 00:55:07.440 --> 00:55:10.960 And then just having those like conversations in the table. 00:55:11.199 --> 00:55:12.800 The tough conversations, yeah. 00:55:12.960 --> 00:55:13.760 Conversations, right? 00:55:13.840 --> 00:55:15.119 We used to have those all the time. 00:55:15.440 --> 00:55:17.119 Oh, everyone's stuck on their phones all the time. 00:55:17.199 --> 00:55:17.920 Now looking at soap. 00:55:18.079 --> 00:55:18.639 Put the phone down. 00:55:18.719 --> 00:55:20.480 Yeah, put the phone down, let's have a talk. 00:55:20.800 --> 00:55:22.400 I mean, it's it's sad. 00:55:22.719 --> 00:55:28.320 Um, but I can I can just say firsthand, I can see how a lot of us go to a dark place. 00:55:28.480 --> 00:55:29.119 It's very easy. 00:55:29.360 --> 00:55:30.800 Oh, it is very, very easy. 00:55:30.880 --> 00:55:33.760 The mind is a very powerful, powerful thing. 00:55:33.920 --> 00:55:40.480 And you know, the work that you do and other people who are trying to take care of us is so important. 00:55:40.880 --> 00:55:43.920 Um, because there's a lot of times where everyone looks to us for the answers. 00:55:44.000 --> 00:55:44.159 Yeah. 00:55:44.320 --> 00:55:44.480 Right. 00:55:44.559 --> 00:55:47.760 Even when something happens on my block here, something goes wrong, go to the firefighter's house. 00:55:47.840 --> 00:55:47.920 Right? 00:55:48.079 --> 00:55:49.599 There's a couple of flagpoles. 00:55:49.760 --> 00:55:51.199 Yeah, there's a couple families on the street. 00:55:51.519 --> 00:55:54.559 I got three around me and the cop down the street. 00:55:55.119 --> 00:55:56.559 Yeah, the families on the street. 00:55:56.639 --> 00:55:59.840 They always tell their kids, anything goes wrong, go to firefighter Fisher's house. 00:55:59.920 --> 00:56:01.519 He'll take care of you, you know. 00:56:01.760 --> 00:56:03.360 And yet, who's here to take care of us? 00:56:03.519 --> 00:56:03.679 Yeah. 00:56:04.239 --> 00:56:07.199 How do I talk to you know my my own family? 00:56:07.280 --> 00:56:10.320 I love them, and and certain friends who who aren't in the fire service. 00:56:10.400 --> 00:56:10.559 Yeah. 00:56:10.800 --> 00:56:13.039 But you hang out with them, it's like, what's the worst call you've ever seen? 00:56:13.199 --> 00:56:13.840 It's like, great. 00:56:14.079 --> 00:56:14.880 This one right now. 00:56:15.039 --> 00:56:17.679 Yeah, you're gonna make me relive this thing right now. 00:56:17.920 --> 00:56:20.480 But how do you open up to those people? 00:56:20.639 --> 00:56:21.599 Because they don't understand. 00:56:21.679 --> 00:56:24.800 Yeah, they have no idea what we go through, and even my own wife at times. 00:56:24.960 --> 00:56:29.920 There's things I I won't tell her because that she doesn't need to know about that or visualize those things. 00:56:30.239 --> 00:56:32.559 And you know, who do we talk to? 00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:35.360 It's that exposure and like really talking about it. 00:56:35.440 --> 00:56:36.639 Like, what are you okay with? 00:56:36.719 --> 00:56:37.760 What are you comfortable with? 00:56:37.920 --> 00:56:41.199 Your partner, at least, like what are you comfortable with? 00:56:41.360 --> 00:56:41.679 Yeah. 00:56:41.840 --> 00:56:45.119 Um, and then you know them, so you're like, okay, I can't share that with them. 00:56:45.280 --> 00:56:46.480 I can share this part. 00:56:46.639 --> 00:56:50.000 Um, but I've had some wives come in and they're like, I had no idea. 00:56:50.320 --> 00:56:52.400 This is why he would go up to his room. 00:56:52.880 --> 00:56:54.559 I had no idea for years. 00:56:54.719 --> 00:56:55.039 Yeah. 00:56:55.679 --> 00:57:02.000 And so having those conversations, um, which are tough, that we need to start having. 00:57:02.239 --> 00:57:04.559 And then as far as like the public, right? 00:57:04.719 --> 00:57:19.360 Your neighbors and people, um, I think the more we talk about it, the more they hear about firefighters' mental health, mental health wellness, um, parts of it, like having that conversation, like, hey, I know curiosity kind of takes us. 00:57:19.519 --> 00:57:23.920 However, you know, when we're asking those questions, that can be kind of tough for someone. 00:57:24.079 --> 00:57:24.239 Yeah. 00:57:24.400 --> 00:57:29.440 You know, people call us on their worst days and then just kind of ending it there. 00:57:29.679 --> 00:57:34.159 Um, because a lot of times, like, I'll forget and I'm like, oh, I'm on a call and I'm gonna go to this. 00:57:34.320 --> 00:57:36.239 And I would go to respond to calls. 00:57:36.320 --> 00:57:42.719 And I remember one of my therapist friends, I call her normal therapist friend, not not the ones that work with first responders. 00:57:42.800 --> 00:57:44.320 We're all abnormal. 00:57:44.559 --> 00:57:48.000 And she's like, Oh my gosh, how horrific. 00:57:48.239 --> 00:57:52.559 Oh, oh, and I was like, Okay, I'm never referring anyone to

you. 00:57:52.719 --> 00:57:53.280 Yeah, yeah. 00:57:53.519 --> 00:57:55.039 And I had to stop for a moment. 00:57:55.199 --> 00:57:57.840 She's like, Is this what you do all day? 00:57:58.159 --> 00:58:00.079 Oh my gosh, how horrible. 00:58:00.239 --> 00:58:02.320 I only deal with anxiety. 00:58:02.559 --> 00:58:07.840 And I was like, Oh, oh, shoot, yeah, that is what I do. 00:58:08.079 --> 00:58:11.360 I said, I'm so sorry for even talking to you about this. 00:58:12.159 --> 00:58:12.880 She's a therapist. 00:58:14.639 --> 00:58:16.000 So it's actually really important. 00:58:16.159 --> 00:58:19.119 Like, who you go, who do you who do you open up to? 00:58:19.280 --> 00:58:20.320 Who do you go see? 00:58:20.639 --> 00:58:22.960 Do you see a culturally competent therapist? 00:58:23.199 --> 00:58:24.159 Yeah, someone you can trust. 00:58:24.239 --> 00:58:27.360 I think it's the biggest thing, at least for me, is having connections. 00:58:27.519 --> 00:58:31.440 Someone I know that um I can trust with the worst part of me. 00:58:31.679 --> 00:58:32.079 Yeah. 00:58:32.320 --> 00:58:41.679 And that um I can tell them the things that I've seen, and it's not like, oh my gosh, or crack a dark joke in therapy and they laugh because they get it. 00:58:41.760 --> 00:58:43.199 Like it's that's for us, it's healing, right? 00:58:43.360 --> 00:58:44.079 Laughter's medicine. 00:58:44.400 --> 00:58:45.039 Inappropriate. 00:58:45.360 --> 00:58:45.519 Yeah. 00:58:46.000 --> 00:58:48.079 Oh, this guy's really lost right now. 00:58:48.320 --> 00:58:54.880 Um there's one thing on here that I saw on your uh for the clinic where you're at, what you do. 00:58:55.199 --> 00:58:58.400 Uh so you have neurofeedback, but you have hyperbaric oxygen therapy. 00:58:58.480 --> 00:58:58.639 Yeah. 00:58:58.800 --> 00:58:59.760 Can you explain that a little bit? 00:58:59.920 --> 00:59:01.199 Like what is that? 00:59:01.519 --> 00:59:08.400 So so a lot of times uh hyperbaric chambers are used for divers and they're used for um burn victims. 00:59:08.639 --> 00:59:16.000 And uh we use it uh with along with other organizations for PTSD and PTSI. 00:59:16.400 --> 00:59:18.880 And so we're all inflamed. 00:59:19.039 --> 00:59:24.239 Uh stress causes inflammation, the work shift schedule causes inflammation. 00:59:24.400 --> 00:59:31.440 Um, it actually shows in MRIs and it shows scans, your brain scans, inflammation. 00:59:31.760 --> 00:59:36.719 And so the hyperbaric along with neural feedback helps get rid of that inflammation. 00:59:37.119 --> 00:59:37.519 Really? 00:59:37.760 --> 00:59:38.000 Yeah. 00:59:38.159 --> 00:59:44.400 So we've incorporated that into everything else that we do, and um, it works well. 00:59:44.639 --> 00:59:56.320 So you strengthen your brain through neural feedback, get to relax a bit and then strengthen it, and then you go into the chamber and helps you get rid of inflammation. 00:59:56.559 --> 01:00:01.920 So it helps to get your brain and your amygdala

back to normal. 01:00:02.239 --> 01:00:07.840 So that's so how is there science is 10 years behind. 01:00:08.079 --> 01:00:20.559 So if you look at some Stanford reports and um some doctors that are using it out in OC, um, Bud's Odyssey uses it, um, a lot of different organizations are still just catching on that. 01:00:20.960 --> 01:00:29.199 And I was like, if I'm gonna do something, we can't talk therapy works, but it's surface level, and that's the mind, body, and soul. 01:00:29.599 --> 01:00:37.039 So if I'm doing therapy, talk therapy with someone, we're talking about the broken brain. 01:00:38.159 --> 01:00:45.840 The broken brain, the broken brain, it's like a broken arm, but we're never healing the arm, and it's the bone, it's the structure. 01:00:46.559 --> 01:00:50.400 So that helps the blood flow, helps the structure. 01:00:50.639 --> 01:00:55.199 We're all lacking oxygen, and that helps feed it and give the oxygen. 01:00:55.280 --> 01:00:58.079 So it enhances what we're already doing in therapy. 01:00:58.400 --> 01:01:04.719 So, how do you determine how long someone needs to be in that hyperparic oxygen therapy? 01:01:05.039 --> 01:01:06.800 By how you feel afterwards. 01:01:07.039 --> 01:01:07.599 Oh, okay. 01:01:07.840 --> 01:01:10.800 Is there like a do you start them off like you're gonna go for 20 minutes? 01:01:11.199 --> 01:01:11.760 It depends. 01:01:11.840 --> 01:01:15.599 So usually I'll do a clinical assessment, kind of see what they need. 01:01:15.840 --> 01:01:20.880 Um, I've had some where I'm like, okay, you're gonna do 20 minutes because you're so inflamed, it's gonna hurt. 01:01:21.039 --> 01:01:27.519 Your ears are gonna pop, you're gonna feel uncomfortable in that moment, and then um, and then you're gonna start to feel better. 01:01:27.679 --> 01:01:31.440 I had one guy, uh, he's like, My ears, oh, get me out of here. 01:01:31.679 --> 01:01:33.840 I was like, 20 minutes, buddy, minimum 20 minutes. 01:01:34.079 --> 01:01:34.719 You're savage. 01:01:35.039 --> 01:01:38.400 Like 20 minutes, you're locked in there, you can't get out. 01:01:39.119 --> 01:01:39.920 I love it. 01:01:40.400 --> 01:01:43.679 Can't put a lock on it, but you know, you can unzip yourself. 01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:45.920 I've had some people go, I'm claustrophobic. 01:01:46.000 --> 01:01:49.840 And I'm like, we just sit in it and relax, and then I'm gonna zip you up slowly. 01:01:50.079 --> 01:01:55.920 And uh, my goal is to get a hard shell and just have people just go in there and sit, but they're about 70,000. 01:01:56.000 --> 01:01:57.679 So yeah, yeah. 01:01:57.840 --> 01:01:58.239 Wow. 01:01:58.400 --> 01:02:01.920 So I I really feel that that helps get rid of inflammation. 01:02:02.000 --> 01:02:05.519 And um, that guy that was doing 20 minutes, like he's doing an hour now. 01:02:05.679 --> 01:02:07.840 He's like, Oh, sleeping so good. 01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:11.920 And people report like, that's the first time I've slept like in months. 01:02:12.079 --> 01:02:13.280 I just like knock out. 01:02:13.519 --> 01:02:26.800 I 100% believe it because um I I remember I went to uh a doctor to tell them, like, hey, I'm having I I got injured, and I was probably I think it was only off like five or six months. 01:02:26.960 --> 01:02:29.920 Let's be really, I could have milked that for a year, but I was like, I need to get back to work. 01:02:30.000 --> 01:02:33.679 Okay, I need to get back to work because I'm like I'm losing my mind, I want to work out and do my thing. 01:02:33.840 --> 01:02:40.480 But and I was I told her, I'm like, hey, I've been off work for about two and a half months and I still can't sleep. 01:02:40.800 --> 01:02:42.480 I'm having a really hard time. 01:02:42.719 --> 01:02:44.000 I've rolled around all night. 01:02:44.559 --> 01:02:45.760 Okay, let's do a sleep study. 01:02:45.840 --> 01:02:50.000 So they sent me this thing, it looks like a little Fitbit that goes in your arm, it has the SPO2 monitor on it, right? 01:02:50.079 --> 01:02:55.840 This is an app on your phone, and I was actually pretty impressed because it shows how you move, right? 01:02:56.000 --> 01:03:00.960 How you kind of like your sleeping position, how long you actually went in the RAM when you snore. 01:03:01.280 --> 01:03:10.960 So it showed that I was sleeping only three hours a night, and an hour and a half of that I was snoring, and then my SPO2 would drop to like 38%. 01:03:11.280 --> 01:03:12.159 It was terrible. 01:03:12.639 --> 01:03:16.239 And she's like, Um, you're you're killing yourself. 01:03:16.400 --> 01:03:17.360 You are not sleeping. 01:03:17.440 --> 01:03:18.639 This is really bad for you. 01:03:18.880 --> 01:03:21.679 And so she said, I'm gonna I'm gonna order you a CPAP. 01:03:21.840 --> 01:03:24.719 I'm like, yo, hold on a minute, dude. 01:03:25.039 --> 01:03:25.679 CPAP. 01:03:25.840 --> 01:03:29.039 I'm like, bro, that's an 85-year-old overweight, dude. 01:03:29.199 --> 01:03:30.239 Like, I don't need a CPAP. 01:03:30.320 --> 01:03:32.719 She's like, no, Tim, just trust me on this. 01:03:33.199 --> 01:03:35.760 Yeah, you need to breathe. 01:03:35.840 --> 01:03:39.760 Yeah, like your body's not healing, you're not getting oxygen in your blood and to your brain. 01:03:39.920 --> 01:03:41.519 And so insurance covered it. 01:03:41.599 --> 01:03:43.440 They they got me a CPAP. 01:03:43.599 --> 01:03:47.760 First couple nights was kind of weird to get used to having the you know this little mask on your face. 01:03:48.159 --> 01:03:52.480 And of course, like they set they have the settings, they put it on there for you after sleep study. 01:03:52.880 --> 01:03:57.280 And by night three, uh, it's the best sleep I have ever had. 01:03:57.360 --> 01:03:59.679 And I woke up not foggy, yeah. 01:03:59.840 --> 01:04:00.719 I felt good. 01:04:00.880 --> 01:04:04.000 I was actually sleeping now finally six to seven hours. 01:04:04.239 --> 01:04:10.000 I should probably get be getting

more than that, but even just getting five or six hours, I felt amazing. 01:04:10.159 --> 01:04:13.519 And so I'm still I still use a CPAP to this day, and I take it to work. 01:04:13.679 --> 01:04:16.079 Guys, like, dude, is that CPAP jerks? 01:04:16.320 --> 01:04:17.440 Yes, I'm like a hundred dollars. 01:04:17.840 --> 01:04:24.000 Now imagine when you go on a fire call and the oxygen, the toxins, and everything, what that does to your brain. 01:04:24.159 --> 01:04:29.360 Oh and so there's the physical element and the mental, the social element, right? 01:04:29.519 --> 01:04:34.400 So when you include them all in, your your amygdala is supposed to be the size of an almond. 01:04:34.639 --> 01:04:41.360 Most of the firefighters that I know uh probably have the size of a walnut because it's inflamed. 01:04:41.599 --> 01:04:45.920 And so you're in that sympathetic system constantly. 01:04:46.159 --> 01:04:49.119 And now there's some that are like, hey, I need to do self-care. 01:04:49.280 --> 01:04:50.719 I do this, I do that. 01:04:50.880 --> 01:04:56.480 I'm constantly trying to regulate it, but physically, the toll that it takes, right? 01:04:56.639 --> 01:05:05.199 So when we're able to use a hyperbaric chamber and try to bring it back down to the size and give you at least one hour of sleep. 01:05:05.280 --> 01:05:07.599 I've sat I've slept in there for like two hours. 01:05:07.760 --> 01:05:08.000 Wow. 01:05:08.159 --> 01:05:11.440 And I was like, oh man, I was sleeping for like an hour and a half in there. 01:05:11.519 --> 01:05:12.719 I was like, okay, I need to get out. 01:05:12.800 --> 01:05:14.960 So most of our clients get about 60 minutes. 01:05:15.119 --> 01:05:17.679 Um, sometimes I'll keep some in for 72. 01:05:18.079 --> 01:05:22.800 Um, you know, hopefully one day I'll be able to put some studies together and like show how it works. 01:05:22.880 --> 01:05:25.920 And hopefully one day they'll be at the fire stations in between. 01:05:26.000 --> 01:05:29.119 But you know, hey, you're gonna be on there for an hour before you go home. 01:05:29.360 --> 01:05:30.000 I gotta try that. 01:05:30.159 --> 01:05:30.239 Right? 01:05:30.400 --> 01:05:31.760 I have some they I gotta try that. 01:05:31.920 --> 01:05:34.480 They leave the shift and they're like, hey, on my way home, can I stop by? 01:05:34.559 --> 01:05:36.800 And I'm like, yeah, okay, see you at 7 a.m. 01:05:36.960 --> 01:05:41.920 Yeah, and get you in there first so you can sleep, and then we'll do neural feedback afterwards and strengthen it. 01:05:42.239 --> 01:05:49.760 For our far for us, anyone who wants to go and do, you know, you have the trauma therapy, neuro neurofeedback, the hyperbaric chamber appears. 01:05:50.239 --> 01:05:53.519 If we want to do that with you, does here's a here's a big question. 01:05:54.559 --> 01:05:55.840 Does our insurance everyone's up? 01:05:56.000 --> 01:05:56.800 Does your insurance go? 01:05:57.280 --> 01:05:58.079 We all know you're cheap. 01:05:58.239 --> 01:05:58.400 Yeah. 01:05:58.559 --> 01:05:59.199 Oh my god. 01:06:01.119 --> 01:06:04.320 They're like, oh, and like it'll cost you your copay. 01:06:04.559 --> 01:06:04.719 Come on. 01:06:04.960 --> 01:06:05.199 100%. 01:06:05.599 --> 01:06:07.199 If there's a need for it, right? 01:06:07.360 --> 01:06:08.639 We'll we'll figure it out. 01:06:08.800 --> 01:06:10.559 But usually we do accept insurance. 01:06:10.639 --> 01:06:13.920 And that's why I did make it a treatment center and not a walnut center. 01:06:14.079 --> 01:06:14.239 Okay. 01:06:14.320 --> 01:06:19.920 Uh wellness center would just be sitting there looking pretty because people are like, oh, I don't, I don't need that. 01:06:20.239 --> 01:06:21.119 I don't need it, right? 01:06:21.199 --> 01:06:23.280 Because we wait till we're falling apart completely. 01:06:23.360 --> 01:06:26.960 And then we're like, and usually somebody tells us, hey, you need to go. 01:06:27.039 --> 01:06:27.280 Yeah. 01:06:27.360 --> 01:06:29.360 Um, or mandates us to come in. 01:06:29.519 --> 01:06:32.719 Um, I've known people and they I'm like, hey, if you ever need it, let me know. 01:06:32.800 --> 01:06:33.199 I don't need it. 01:06:33.280 --> 01:06:33.679 I don't need it. 01:06:33.760 --> 01:06:38.639 And then their wife, oh no, they need it, or their buddy, hey, uh, I had three guys and they're all calling on each other. 01:06:38.719 --> 01:06:40.079 I was like, you guys are hilarious. 01:06:40.239 --> 01:06:41.760 Why don't you all just come in? 01:06:41.840 --> 01:06:44.719 Because I'm you're calling me about him, he's calling me about you. 01:06:44.800 --> 01:06:44.960 Yeah. 01:06:45.119 --> 01:06:49.360 And I'm just getting all these calls because that hyperbaric chamber is you have multiple? 01:06:49.599 --> 01:06:50.880 I have one right now. 01:06:51.039 --> 01:06:52.320 The goal is to have a few. 01:06:52.559 --> 01:06:55.199 We have a very small clinic, but it's it's nice. 01:06:55.360 --> 01:07:02.960 And I have two-year-old feedback machines, and the goals to have two to three hyperbarics, and then as we expand looking at different things. 01:07:03.199 --> 01:07:04.239 Why they come try some of that? 01:07:04.320 --> 01:07:04.480 Yeah. 01:07:05.119 --> 01:07:06.800 Seriously, I really wanted to give that a shot. 01:07:06.960 --> 01:07:12.239 I think that'd be pretty rad to give to uh to the hyperbaric chair hyperbaric chamber and neural feedback. 01:07:12.320 --> 01:07:14.400 Now, one, I know we're getting close on time here. 01:07:14.480 --> 01:07:17.519 We kind of went over, but I this is such a great conversation. 01:07:18.000 --> 01:07:24.000 What I know this is happening with military, but micro doing microdosing mushrooms. 01:07:24.559 --> 01:07:26.159 Do you see that as a positive? 01:07:26.239 --> 01:07:27.119 Can you talk about that? 01:07:27.280 --> 01:07:31.360 Is that kind of coming now into the realm of therapy and helping? 01:07:31.679 --> 01:07:39.119 We

just actually talked about uh taking there's a Navy SEAL guy that does some um ayahuasca stuff. 01:07:39.280 --> 01:07:43.199 Oh, and so you know, he's prepared for anything that could go down. 01:07:43.679 --> 01:07:44.639 Yes, he is. 01:07:44.880 --> 01:07:45.599 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 01:07:45.920 --> 01:07:51.039 So so uh I'm all supportive of that with uh therapy that is supportive in that. 01:07:51.199 --> 01:07:55.679 If you go and you just do that, you're gonna feel good for a while, but then what? 01:07:55.920 --> 01:07:57.440 Then you're all you're left all alone. 01:07:57.760 --> 01:07:58.480 There's a way to do it. 01:07:58.639 --> 01:07:59.519 There's a way to do that. 01:07:59.599 --> 01:08:03.519 Um, I love Cambo, haven't tried it myself, but I've heard a lot of good things about it. 01:08:03.679 --> 01:08:05.519 I've seen a lot of my clients do that. 01:08:05.679 --> 01:08:11.440 So um, you know, we're open to looking and trying and going, okay, that works, but let me tell you about this. 01:08:11.599 --> 01:08:16.079 You know, let's look at the pros and the cons of each one and then making sure that your support. 01:08:16.319 --> 01:08:20.560 So that's why we did a treatment center because we have that support. 01:08:21.520 --> 01:08:23.840 Everyone that's there is a peer supporter. 01:08:23.920 --> 01:08:25.680 Um, I'm big on peer support. 01:08:25.760 --> 01:08:29.439 Uh therapist comes in, but they don't you don't all want to talk to me all the time. 01:08:29.760 --> 01:08:31.840 You know, sometimes you're like, okay, I need to talk to her. 01:08:31.920 --> 01:08:34.640 And then sometimes you're like, oh God, I don't want to talk to her. 01:08:34.880 --> 01:08:38.399 Um, most of the time, people come in, they go, okay, it's not as scary. 01:08:38.560 --> 01:08:40.159 It's not as scary as I thought. 01:08:40.319 --> 01:08:44.560 It's not me sitting behind a desk going, okay, tell me about this, tell me about that. 01:08:44.720 --> 01:08:46.960 Uh, I will, and I have it down here. 01:08:47.119 --> 01:08:53.359 Um, I will bring out my wand and I have to show you because this scares guys sometimes. 01:08:53.600 --> 01:08:54.960 Girl, what are you pulling on your purse? 01:08:55.439 --> 01:08:57.439 No, it's like Mary Poppins' purse here. 01:08:58.960 --> 01:09:02.239 See, so I cops have a harder time when I pull this out. 01:09:02.399 --> 01:09:03.520 And I'm like, watch out. 01:09:03.600 --> 01:09:06.319 And I have to add my crystal just to kind of be cute with this, right? 01:09:07.760 --> 01:09:08.399 Yeah, yeah. 01:09:08.560 --> 01:09:11.199 Like fire goes, what is that? 01:09:11.359 --> 01:09:12.720 What are you gonna do with it? 01:09:12.960 --> 01:09:22.720 Um, so I I do some brain spotting as well, and that's uh like a EMDR 2.0, and so it kind of clears out whatever stuff. 01:09:22.800 --> 01:09:28.239 So sometimes you're like, I don't need nothing long term, it's just something or I don't know why I'm feeling this way. 01:09:28.399 --> 01:09:44.159 Sometimes you don't know, and it's that like, let's figure out what it is, and let's figure out how to get it out so that you can just clear it out and you don't have to live your life carrying it at that level, and that's what we talk about like that window of tolerance. 01:09:44.399 --> 01:09:49.279 If we can get it back down to that, then you can hold space for it, and you can say, you know what? 01:09:49.680 --> 01:09:50.800 I am really sad. 01:09:51.520 --> 01:10:00.479 I'm on that accident, and that's someone's daughter, that's someone's child that's a human there, and I see that, and it also reminds me of this. 01:10:00.560 --> 01:10:10.159 And I'm sad for myself, for my loss, and I can hold space for it, and then I like read it through and then I let it go. 01:10:10.560 --> 01:10:13.359 And I go, This is their situation, it's not mine. 01:10:13.920 --> 01:10:30.159 And so adding that with neurofeedback with hyperbaric, you get to that sweet spot where you're like, okay, I'm not gonna pretend it didn't happen, I'm not gonna fight it, I'm not gonna say, okay, it's not my day, it's not my time, but I'm gonna hold space for it, and I'm gonna like it did hurt. 01:10:30.720 --> 01:10:34.399 That divorce did hurt, that relationship, it did hurt. 01:10:34.720 --> 01:10:40.800 The pain that I caused, it did hurt because it's out of my character, it's not who I really, really am. 01:10:41.279 --> 01:10:48.800 And if I can if I can get back to who I really am, that core authentic self, you'll be okay. 01:10:49.520 --> 01:10:54.079 Sometimes we're so far off that we never see the light. 01:10:54.720 --> 01:10:58.880 I I told that guy, I said, look, I can see the light finally. 01:10:59.359 --> 01:11:00.880 He's like, it's been three years. 01:11:01.039 --> 01:11:03.199 I'm like, it's only been three years. 01:11:03.520 --> 01:11:06.479 He's like, no, it's been three years of hell. 01:11:06.880 --> 01:11:09.600 I said, I know, but it's only been three years. 01:11:10.399 --> 01:11:15.520 And the bigger magnitude you are young, you get to rebuild your life. 01:11:16.079 --> 01:11:18.079 So what do you want to do with the rest of your life? 01:11:18.880 --> 01:11:19.600 Starting today. 01:11:20.000 --> 01:11:31.199 Yeah, you know, it's um that was one thing that was hard for me to to to move past my past and the things I've done, the people I've hurt because I was selfish. 01:11:31.600 --> 01:11:33.840 Just looking to have a good time and just feel good. 01:11:34.159 --> 01:11:35.119 Have a good time, right? 01:11:35.279 --> 01:11:49.840 The shame that I brought on myself, my family, and um, but I think that's one good thing uh about becoming a believer again and truly like I I had to learn that you know, being someone who believes in Jesus, it's not religion. 01:11:50.000 --> 01:11:56.560 That that's how I finally figured out it's not about the rituals and how much money you give to a church, and yeah, you know, how often

do you go to church? 01:11:56.640 --> 01:11:57.760 Are you involved and all this? 01:11:58.000 --> 01:12:00.000 It's truly a personal, it's a relationship. 01:12:00.319 --> 01:12:02.319 And we go back to that word relationship, right? 01:12:02.479 --> 01:12:03.199 Yeah, yeah. 01:12:03.279 --> 01:12:05.119 And that's what I I learned. 01:12:05.199 --> 01:12:20.159 And once I kind of figured that out, it it really did change a lot for me because um, you know, one thing about was so great about Jesus that I I figured out by just me reading the Bible and going through the gospels. 01:12:20.239 --> 01:12:26.159 It's Jesus on the earth, it was love, grace, um, redemption, forgiveness. 01:12:26.479 --> 01:12:31.279 And he he offers it to you endlessly, at least while you're on this earth, while you're alive, right? 01:12:31.520 --> 01:12:32.880 And that's one thing I was looking for. 01:12:32.960 --> 01:12:36.319 It's like, dude, what what am I how do I get past these things? 01:12:36.560 --> 01:12:40.640 How do I get past these this hurt and the things that I've seen and how I lived? 01:12:40.800 --> 01:12:45.680 And when I finally figured it out, it's like, look, just lay it as feet, leave it there. 01:12:45.920 --> 01:12:49.840 It's not about who you were, it's about what he did for you. 01:12:50.319 --> 01:12:52.560 The redemption, the love, and the forgiveness. 01:12:52.720 --> 01:12:54.880 Now move on and make that new life. 01:12:55.119 --> 01:12:55.439 Change. 01:12:55.600 --> 01:12:56.479 And change is hard. 01:12:56.640 --> 01:12:58.479 I'm gonna tell you right now, that is like that. 01:12:58.560 --> 01:12:59.680 Was the biggest struggle, right? 01:12:59.760 --> 01:13:01.039 The bad habits and all that. 01:13:01.279 --> 01:13:04.560 But with that change, that that's where that hope comes in. 01:13:04.640 --> 01:13:13.680 But also with that comes going to therapy, taking that step and having the courage to talk about your worst moments, talk about the bad things that you've seen, speaking that into existence. 01:13:13.760 --> 01:13:20.159 And that's one thing that I learned that helped me so, so much was speaking it into existence, not holding it in anymore. 01:13:20.239 --> 01:13:21.279 Yeah, getting it out. 01:13:21.600 --> 01:13:22.880 We're trying to like hold on. 01:13:23.119 --> 01:13:25.119 Yeah, I'm like, dude, I gotta let it go. 01:13:25.760 --> 01:13:26.800 Hey, this here it is. 01:13:26.960 --> 01:13:30.079 Yeah, this is and you know, like people tell me so many things. 01:13:30.159 --> 01:13:33.680 I'm like, okay, I I it's not the first time I've heard that most of the time now. 01:13:33.840 --> 01:13:34.239 Right. 01:13:34.479 --> 01:13:36.800 And you're okay, you're not a bad person. 01:13:37.039 --> 01:13:42.159 Yeah, there's a verse that I hold so dear to my heart now, and it's Isaiah 43, 2. 01:13:42.319 --> 01:13:44.399 When you go through deep waters, I'll be with you. 01:13:45.039 --> 01:13:50.000 And um, man, I'm trying to

get emotional, but it's just it's so true. 01:13:50.239 --> 01:13:52.479 Um, the world can turn their back on you. 01:13:52.640 --> 01:13:57.439 You can go through divorce, people can call you names, or you can make mistakes, or whatever it may be. 01:13:57.840 --> 01:14:01.920 But reading that verse, man, that truly solidified it for me. 01:14:02.079 --> 01:14:05.840 Like, no matter where you go, who you've been, what you've done, I'm gonna be with you. 01:14:06.000 --> 01:14:07.039 We're gonna figure this out. 01:14:07.119 --> 01:14:08.239 You just gotta lay your life down. 01:14:08.319 --> 01:14:18.079 It's almost like you said it's like I had to lose control, like let go of control and lay it down as feet, be like, okay, I'm not doing this on my terms anymore. 01:14:18.319 --> 01:14:22.479 I need you to take over, I need you to help me and lead me in the right direction. 01:14:22.640 --> 01:14:29.039 I'm gonna start taking or making the right decisions and asking for help and doing what I need to do, but I need you to show up. 01:14:29.279 --> 01:14:31.199 And my goodness, did he ever? 01:14:31.600 --> 01:14:32.399 Am I perfect? 01:14:32.560 --> 01:14:33.439 Hell no. 01:14:34.960 --> 01:14:37.840 I am definitely, definitely not a perfect human being. 01:14:38.000 --> 01:14:43.039 But it's brought such a passion for fellow first responders and people who are struggling. 01:14:43.199 --> 01:15:00.880 And I can tell you out just off the top of my head, probably 12 to 14 people, first responders in the past two years that I that because I talk about this now on the podcast and at work, I'm so open about it of what I've gone through, the mistakes that I've made, and how I've come out on top and triumph. 01:15:01.359 --> 01:15:07.199 And I tell them, you just got to to you need to not have control, you need to say, I need help. 01:15:07.439 --> 01:15:14.079 And I've gotten them to make the phone call and go into the and I'm telling you, every single one of them said, I should have gone to the therapy sooner. 01:15:14.159 --> 01:15:16.239 Yeah, it was the best thing that I ever decided to do. 01:15:16.319 --> 01:15:21.680 And they did brain spotting, they did EMDR and all that, and it's like, oh my gosh, I so I'm not crazy. 01:15:21.760 --> 01:15:22.640 I'm like, no, bro. 01:15:22.960 --> 01:15:26.800 We live, we are in a career that is absolutely out of the norm. 01:15:27.039 --> 01:15:29.520 Yeah, you are abnormal. 01:15:29.840 --> 01:15:30.640 We all are. 01:15:30.880 --> 01:15:36.319 Yeah, yeah, and so it's like who runs into a fire, who does these things, right? 01:15:36.640 --> 01:15:39.199 We're abnormal, and that's the calling. 01:15:39.279 --> 01:15:44.159 And the calling usually comes from either some kind of pain or there's a purpose behind that. 01:15:44.319 --> 01:15:44.640 Yeah. 01:15:44.880 --> 01:15:52.479 And so if we can recognize and go, okay, for my job and who I am and what I do, this is just something that I can do. 01:15:52.560 --> 01:15:53.920 And there's free services. 01:15:54.000 --> 01:16:02.560 Yeah, it doesn't always have to cost money, or it's also being true and saying, like, hey, I'm suffering from PTSI, it's an injury, right? 01:16:02.640 --> 01:16:03.600 We call it disorder. 01:16:03.680 --> 01:16:12.239 It's the that's just a classification, but it's an injury, and I'm going to have that, and it's just something that I do to help myself heal. 01:16:12.560 --> 01:16:14.960 So I don't get to that moment of suicide. 01:16:15.520 --> 01:16:20.000 I don't get to that point where my brain is so inflamed that I can't think straight. 01:16:20.640 --> 01:16:20.800 Yeah. 01:16:21.039 --> 01:16:27.439 And so if we're able to get those right resources and the right help, then you know, might be us. 01:16:27.920 --> 01:16:31.279 You know, we can do an assessment, kind of see are you a good fit? 01:16:31.439 --> 01:16:35.439 And there's been others that have called me and I'm like, hey, we're not a good fit. 01:16:35.600 --> 01:16:38.720 You need this, you need a substance abuse treatment place. 01:16:38.960 --> 01:16:39.600 I'll be there. 01:16:39.680 --> 01:16:42.560 You can call us, you know our team, we're all gonna check in on you. 01:16:42.720 --> 01:16:43.920 We're not gonna charge you. 01:16:44.079 --> 01:16:44.399 Yeah. 01:16:44.560 --> 01:16:44.880 Right. 01:16:45.039 --> 01:16:49.199 And and we just care, and we want to make sure that there's not another one. 01:16:49.520 --> 01:16:52.159 Yeah, like life is life is truly a gift. 01:16:52.399 --> 01:16:56.319 All to all life is precious, and you said it earlier. 01:16:56.640 --> 01:17:02.640 Those suicidal ideations or thinking you're not worth it, or you're a terrible person, or you're a piece of crap, or whatever you're telling. 01:17:02.960 --> 01:17:05.600 It's such an absolute lie. 01:17:05.920 --> 01:17:07.520 It's a lie, it's a lie. 01:17:07.920 --> 01:17:09.039 Life is worth living. 01:17:09.199 --> 01:17:11.600 I would I say this to a few people that have been struggling. 01:17:11.680 --> 01:17:16.399 Yeah, no matter how bad it gets, any day above the dirt is a damn good day. 01:17:16.960 --> 01:17:17.920 It's worth being here. 01:17:18.720 --> 01:17:19.199 It totally is. 01:17:19.600 --> 01:17:22.560 You're still here, and there's a purpose to that. 01:17:22.720 --> 01:17:25.359 And like I told you earlier about the story, right? 01:17:25.520 --> 01:17:29.760 If we can get past that point, you'll figure it out. 01:17:30.239 --> 01:17:34.000 And the dots will all connect, and you'll know that you're not alone. 01:17:34.640 --> 01:17:39.520 And there's people there that actually care, that want to help and want to see you on the other side. 01:17:39.600 --> 01:17:49.520 And I always tell people, like, you know, one guy today was talking about his um like farming business that he wants to do, uh, someone else that did interior decorating. 01:17:49.600 --> 01:17:56.960 And so we tell people

like that's your gift that you have, and you're gonna see it come true and you're gonna see it come out. 01:17:57.119 --> 01:17:59.359 And we we all have those gifts. 01:17:59.600 --> 01:18:24.960 And once you see it, um, you know, one captain he goes out and talks to the middle school kids and tells them their stories, and so we never know whatever way it's gonna come out, but when you see it come out, you're like, there it is, and and that, like you said earlier, like life force, there there's that force to your life, so you're worth living and you're worth something and everything. 01:18:25.520 --> 01:18:28.800 Yeah, it's um these are tough conversations to have though. 01:18:28.880 --> 01:18:31.199 So I'm so glad we finally got you on this. 01:18:31.279 --> 01:18:32.960 I think it's been years, actually. 01:18:33.199 --> 01:18:34.720 I know since you're on here. 01:18:35.600 --> 01:18:40.560 Well, we're on our fifth season now, and and I took when my daughter was born, we took a break. 01:18:40.800 --> 01:18:41.119 That's good. 01:18:41.279 --> 01:18:43.760 Yeah, I was like, dude, everything else goes to the side. 01:18:43.840 --> 01:18:46.159 I want to uh it was a season for things, yeah. 01:18:47.119 --> 01:18:52.479 I want to take this serious of being a dad, like yeah, uh a family and a child is truly a gift. 01:18:52.560 --> 01:18:56.960 Yeah, it's a heritage and it's a blessing, and I want to be a good father. 01:18:57.039 --> 01:18:59.279 I want to do the right thing, I don't want to screw this up. 01:18:59.359 --> 01:19:03.359 I want to be present, I want to be here, I want to really take all this in. 01:19:03.600 --> 01:19:12.239 And I'll tell you that first year with my daughter and just putting everything I have into my family and being present is just it was one of the most precious times of my entire life. 01:19:12.399 --> 01:19:15.039 You know, seeing, seeing on my you know, our iPhones, right? 01:19:15.119 --> 01:19:17.760 Yeah, it it popped up yesterday, year ago today. 01:19:17.840 --> 01:19:19.920 I'm like, my little girl, she's this little nuggets, right? 01:19:20.079 --> 01:19:23.600 Just like thinking, oh my gosh, time goes by truly so fast. 01:19:23.760 --> 01:19:24.000 Uh-huh. 01:19:24.239 --> 01:19:27.199 You know, so I want to, again, it's it's about being intentional with my time. 01:19:27.359 --> 01:19:27.600 Yeah. 01:19:27.760 --> 01:19:28.000 Right. 01:19:28.079 --> 01:19:30.000 I can always do another podcast, right? 01:19:30.079 --> 01:19:31.680 I can always work another overtime. 01:19:31.840 --> 01:19:35.680 I can always go just I skydive and surf and all this other stuff, right? 01:19:35.760 --> 01:19:37.920 Which is part of part of the adrenaline rush I'm seeking. 01:19:38.000 --> 01:19:38.159 Yeah. 01:19:38.479 --> 01:19:41.840 But it's like I can always I have time to do all that whenever I want. 01:19:42.000 --> 01:19:44.319 The time I have with my daughter, I'll never get back. 01:19:44.399 --> 01:19:47.199 Yeah, I want to make sure I'm spending time with my family. 01:19:47.359 --> 01:19:52.800 That's like truly my faith in my family has become the the two most important things to me. 01:19:53.039 --> 01:19:57.920 Not not my identity and of work or being a firefighter, look at me, you know, uniform, all this stuff. 01:19:58.000 --> 01:20:00.319 It's truly like I want to be here and be present. 01:20:00.399 --> 01:20:03.439 And so after that year, we're finally like, all right, let's start the fifth season. 01:20:03.600 --> 01:20:06.479 That's when we built this whole studio that you're in now. 01:20:06.800 --> 01:20:07.680 Yeah, it was a lot of work. 01:20:07.760 --> 01:20:12.960 It was a lot of work, especially running all these cables and trying to figure out this whole system because I do it all my own. 01:20:13.359 --> 01:20:17.680 So I'm like, dude, I don't, I can't even begin to tell you how much Google and YouTube have helped me out. 01:20:17.760 --> 01:20:22.159 Oh just Googling everything and figuring out because I'm not some tech guy, I have no idea what I'm doing. 01:20:22.399 --> 01:20:23.199 Just figure it out. 01:20:23.359 --> 01:20:25.520 It's kind of like when we got the office, right? 01:20:25.680 --> 01:20:31.279 And um, I mean, I was like, oh, I have an office, and then someone's like, Oh, sorry, your hyperbaric's too loud. 01:20:31.439 --> 01:20:34.800 I'm like, oh, okay, so oh, sorry, you're too much electricity. 01:20:34.880 --> 01:20:36.880 And I'm like, oh gosh, come on. 01:20:37.119 --> 01:20:40.560 And and I had to think about it, and I'm like, okay, it feels right. 01:20:40.720 --> 01:20:44.800 And I talked to my partner and I said, It feels right, but what is it? 01:20:44.880 --> 01:20:48.000 And then I just sat back and I'm like, okay, it's the devil. 01:20:48.319 --> 01:20:53.439 It's not like God's telling me persevere and keep going. 01:20:53.760 --> 01:21:00.960 Um, and we got everything approved in November, and uh and and we didn't move until February. 01:21:01.279 --> 01:21:03.199 Oh, yeah. 01:21:03.439 --> 01:21:12.079 So we had some uh clients of ours that were like, hey, we're in Lahabra, we're here this week, we're here right now, and they hung in there with us. 01:21:12.319 --> 01:21:25.119 And uh I remember when we got the keys, and I think that's the post that I made, or it's just an empty building, and we like sat there and like we did this, and um, I knew I knew we were supposed to be in that city. 01:21:25.279 --> 01:21:37.199 I don't know why, so I haven't figured out why, but I I knew it, and I had told my daughter that day when I picked her up from school, I said, you know, be nice to mom today, the 17-year-olds, you know, so just be nice to me. 01:21:37.359 --> 01:21:39.279 I said, It's been a really bad day. 01:21:39.680 --> 01:21:46.079 And um, you know, we just kind of were told today to move our stuff out, and I have people kind of waiting on me. 01:21:46.319 --> 01:21:48.319 So um

just be nice to me. 01:21:49.039 --> 01:21:52.560 And we uh were driving by and she's like, What's the problem? 01:21:52.880 --> 01:21:59.840 I said, I don't know which office we're gonna get, and I don't have an office in mind, and I don't know. 01:22:00.319 --> 01:22:03.279 And she looked to her right and she's like, What about that place? 01:22:03.520 --> 01:22:05.920 They look like they have a lot of empty buildings. 01:22:06.319 --> 01:22:14.000 And I my first thought was, Oh, it's too expensive, that looks expensive, but it stuck with me, and then I go, I don't know. 01:22:14.159 --> 01:22:15.760 And I drove by the leasing office. 01:22:15.840 --> 01:22:20.319 I drive that street every day to go to the gym, and I finally pulled in one day. 01:22:20.560 --> 01:22:24.479 We looked online and they were like super expensive ten thousand dollars expensive. 01:22:24.720 --> 01:22:25.119 What? 01:22:25.359 --> 01:22:27.600 Yeah, and I was like, I can't afford that. 01:22:27.920 --> 01:22:33.039 $10,000 right I can't see too many uh clients, right? 01:22:33.279 --> 01:22:35.279 So uh I'm like, you know what? 01:22:35.359 --> 01:22:42.560 Let me just stop by and uh stopped by that day, and I talked to a lady, and she goes, Someone moved out yesterday. 01:22:42.880 --> 01:22:44.880 The corner, I like corners, right? 01:22:45.039 --> 01:22:47.039 Can see everybody, can watch everything. 01:22:47.119 --> 01:22:51.680 It's a little trauma hypervigilance, but let's not talk about that right now, right? 01:22:51.840 --> 01:22:53.439 So I'm like, oh, really? 01:22:53.600 --> 01:22:55.520 And it was in our price range. 01:22:55.840 --> 01:22:59.119 She goes, they've been there for 30 years, they just moved out yesterday. 01:22:59.279 --> 01:23:03.920 30 years because you're the first one to inquire if you want it put in the application. 01:23:04.079 --> 01:23:07.199 I was like, can I fill it out right now and pen and paper? 01:23:07.359 --> 01:23:08.399 And she's like, Yes. 01:23:08.640 --> 01:23:12.560 So we did that, and I was like, hey, we can afford this. 01:23:12.720 --> 01:23:13.760 I think we can afford it. 01:23:13.840 --> 01:23:15.039 I hope we can afford it. 01:23:15.279 --> 01:23:16.399 I was like, you know what? 01:23:16.560 --> 01:23:17.760 It's ours. 01:23:18.079 --> 01:23:20.640 And that was November, right after Thanksgiving. 01:23:20.720 --> 01:23:22.640 Well, actually, before Thanksgiving. 01:23:22.800 --> 01:23:24.720 Um, because they got our application. 01:23:24.880 --> 01:23:30.159 Then the guy went on uh break, he went on vacation on holiday, of course, right? 01:23:30.399 --> 01:23:32.880 And I was like, Well, no one's working but us. 01:23:33.039 --> 01:23:35.920 Yeah, and uh December, sorry, I'm still not back. 01:23:36.079 --> 01:23:39.199 I think it was in the Philippines, so they take like a month or two months off. 01:23:39.520 --> 01:23:42.319 January, he's like, Oh, it's yours if you want it. 01:23:42.560 --> 01:23:48.159 So

we were thinking we're gonna move in January 15th, and then he's like, Well, at the end of the month, and then finally we're like, Okay. 01:23:48.960 --> 01:23:51.039 And so we got it February 1st. 01:23:51.279 --> 01:23:59.760 Wow, and uh, I was like, Okay, that patience paid off and just putting it out there, right? 01:23:59.920 --> 01:24:08.560 And and that not giving up because you know, there are times I'm just like, forget it, and I'm like, Nope, nope, it's supposed to happen. 01:24:08.720 --> 01:24:14.399 Yeah, and so when we finally put the name up on the building, I was like, Oh my gosh, I'm so happy for you. 01:24:14.479 --> 01:24:15.039 That's so bad. 01:24:15.359 --> 01:24:22.319 Some things had to end, like you know, some of my contracts ended, um, had to leave TCTI, just other commitments. 01:24:22.479 --> 01:24:24.079 I was like, I don't have time and space. 01:24:24.159 --> 01:24:32.079 I was working on a book, I'm like, that's on hold, that's on hold, because I can only hold space for so much because I'm still a mom and a grandma. 01:24:32.239 --> 01:24:35.359 Yeah, and those are important parts of me. 01:24:35.600 --> 01:24:39.920 And so I was like, okay, okay, God, show me the way. 01:24:40.079 --> 01:24:41.680 And so far, so good. 01:24:41.920 --> 01:24:42.399 I love it. 01:24:42.560 --> 01:24:45.039 Um, I love our clients, they're all good. 01:24:45.279 --> 01:24:51.600 We have very little, we're small but mighty, and uh, everyone that comes here gets better, and that's the goal. 01:24:51.680 --> 01:25:07.760 And you know, there's a lot of good people that come in and they come in struggling, and they they leave either still struggling physically sometimes with the back pain, just the wear and tear of not taking care of themselves, and they're like, I feel better. 01:25:08.000 --> 01:25:11.359 So the goal is to to leave and feel better, and I feel good. 01:25:11.439 --> 01:25:12.399 I love going in. 01:25:12.479 --> 01:25:16.159 I'm like, this is like I get I get paid to do this, like this is awesome. 01:25:16.319 --> 01:25:17.039 Like, well, it's true. 01:25:17.119 --> 01:25:19.760 I mean, it seems like that's what you're putting this earth for. 01:25:20.000 --> 01:25:22.720 I mean, I this is the way I kind of think of it now. 01:25:22.800 --> 01:25:33.600 It is um I I always I tell my wife this is like I hope when I get to the end of my life, I will have impacted at least one person's life for good to change. 01:25:34.239 --> 01:25:44.000 My struggles and the failures and the things that I've done, how I've triumphed and kind of rose from the ashes and changed who I was and who I am and done better. 01:25:44.079 --> 01:25:45.680 And I hope that can be an example to people. 01:25:45.920 --> 01:25:51.359 I hope that's helped other first responders or somebody inspire at least inspire them to try and change. 01:25:51.439 --> 01:25:54.079 If it's just one, then that's good enough for me. 01:25:54.319 --> 01:25:56.000 I think you've done more than that already. 01:25:56.399 --> 01:25:57.199 Oh, you know, I hope so. 01:25:57.439 --> 01:25:59.199 We're gonna keep hoping that there's a lot more. 01:25:59.520 --> 01:26:00.000 I hope so. 01:26:00.159 --> 01:26:00.399 Right. 01:26:00.479 --> 01:26:05.439 And and I love getting like, hey, thank yous, because sometimes I'm like, um, did I even help? 01:26:05.600 --> 01:26:10.000 And a lot of times when they come back and they're like, hey, thank you, I'm like, oh, awesome. 01:26:10.239 --> 01:26:14.319 Because I love helping first responders because you're out there helping others. 01:26:14.479 --> 01:26:14.880 Yeah. 01:26:15.119 --> 01:26:30.479 And so the fact that I'm like, okay, I know the tools, I know this, I've been educated through the captains I work with, through the firefighters I work with, through my EMTs, through my police officers, um, through the line of duty des learning each and every time. 01:26:30.640 --> 01:26:37.840 I'm like, I'm I'm humbled to be of service and humbled to be allowed to even hear and share some of the stories. 01:26:38.079 --> 01:26:42.000 Some of them are like, you know, we have confidentiality, and some are like, I don't care. 01:26:42.159 --> 01:26:43.600 Everybody knows I see you. 01:26:43.840 --> 01:26:44.880 Everybody knows. 01:26:45.039 --> 01:26:47.359 Uh, I tell them uh you're a little wacky. 01:26:47.520 --> 01:26:48.159 Am I really? 01:26:48.239 --> 01:26:49.119 Do you have to tell them? 01:26:49.520 --> 01:26:51.520 Like, I'm gonna get my stick out in my crystals. 01:26:51.840 --> 01:26:54.159 Don't make me get out my essential oils now. 01:26:54.319 --> 01:26:55.119 Come on now. 01:26:55.279 --> 01:26:57.520 All right, I got that in my bag. 01:26:58.000 --> 01:26:59.199 Oh my gosh. 01:26:59.439 --> 01:27:04.399 You know, I always say, hey, there's there's a lot of soul, but there's also science behind it. 01:27:04.560 --> 01:27:04.880 Oh, yeah. 01:27:05.039 --> 01:27:06.640 And so I'm big on science. 01:27:06.720 --> 01:27:08.560 I want to see the facts, I want to know. 01:27:08.720 --> 01:27:10.399 Like, don't bullshit me. 01:27:10.479 --> 01:27:11.920 I want to know where it's coming from. 01:27:12.000 --> 01:27:14.399 Yeah, and uh here it is, right? 01:27:14.479 --> 01:27:15.840 And in the Bible as well. 01:27:16.000 --> 01:27:20.720 There's a lot of science in the Bible, and there's a lot when you look at it, with mental health. 01:27:20.880 --> 01:27:29.439 I was raised in Christian household um with my church members, and so I learned the Bible, learned the stories, learned. 01:27:29.520 --> 01:27:33.840 I can tell you how many times suicide is mentioned in there, the stories of people in there. 01:27:34.159 --> 01:27:41.279 God chose people with stories that were hurt and struggling to change lives. 01:27:42.159 --> 01:27:42.399 Right? 01:27:43.119 --> 01:27:53.520 That is the one thing like of more like me reading the Bible and figuring it out for myself is I love

that it doesn't hide the fact that these people were messed up. 01:27:53.680 --> 01:27:58.399 Yeah, and if you put them in today's standards, you could be telenovela, right? 01:27:58.880 --> 01:27:59.199 Oh my god. 01:28:01.760 --> 01:28:02.560 Korean drama. 01:28:02.720 --> 01:28:04.239 Oh, Korean zombie. 01:28:04.319 --> 01:28:04.560 Yeah. 01:28:04.880 --> 01:28:06.399 You're talking like terrible people. 01:28:06.720 --> 01:28:08.319 You really look at like terrible people. 01:28:08.479 --> 01:28:10.079 And Lord's like, I mean, it's them. 01:28:10.239 --> 01:28:10.399 Yeah. 01:28:11.359 --> 01:28:15.439 That's why I love, I tell people just like the Bible doesn't hide that these people were screwed. 01:28:15.760 --> 01:28:16.880 And God still chose them. 01:28:16.960 --> 01:28:17.119 Yeah. 01:28:17.279 --> 01:28:19.119 And they still are like heroes of the faith. 01:28:19.199 --> 01:28:20.159 And they've done great things. 01:28:20.239 --> 01:28:22.720 And people are like, Oh, she was born in Hawaiian Gardens. 01:28:22.880 --> 01:28:23.840 I'm like, I know, dude. 01:28:24.000 --> 01:28:25.279 I know you're from Norwalk. 01:28:25.439 --> 01:28:25.760 Okay. 01:28:26.000 --> 01:28:27.119 You're from the one way. 01:28:28.159 --> 01:28:32.079 I know one of the guys at LA City Fire, he's like, Oh man, you're from Hoyen Gardens. 01:28:32.239 --> 01:28:33.840 I'm like, oh man, you're from Norwalk. 01:28:33.920 --> 01:28:34.000 Yeah. 01:28:34.159 --> 01:28:35.680 I'm like, okay, what are we going to do here? 01:28:35.840 --> 01:28:36.560 Throw down? 01:28:36.880 --> 01:28:37.760 He's like, okay. 01:28:37.920 --> 01:28:40.000 I'm like, well, you're the one that brought it up. 01:28:40.239 --> 01:28:41.520 Like, he just asked me. 01:28:41.680 --> 01:28:44.560 He wanted to know where I was, uh, where I lived, where I grew up. 01:28:44.720 --> 01:28:46.319 And I was like, why does that mean so much? 01:28:46.399 --> 01:28:48.399 But he was trying to connect and find a peace. 01:28:48.560 --> 01:28:50.560 And you know, uh, in the city or Dr. 01:28:50.640 --> 01:28:51.680 Contreras, and Dr. 01:28:51.760 --> 01:28:58.960 Contreras, the psychologist, is gonna come here and you your worst fear is like, oh shoot, they're gonna evaluate me and they're gonna say I'm unfit for duty. 01:28:59.119 --> 01:29:01.840 Yeah, and then when I showed up, he's like, Oh, it's you, Dr. 01:29:02.000 --> 01:29:02.560 Mirabel. 01:29:02.720 --> 01:29:04.159 Oh, like, oh, it's you. 01:29:04.319 --> 01:29:05.920 Like, like, what do you mean by it's just me? 01:29:06.159 --> 01:29:07.039 Is that what you think of me? 01:29:07.439 --> 01:29:18.239 I was like, it's okay, because at the end of the day, I try to keep it real in the relationship, and like, okay, let's figure out what we need and how we can get your needs met and get you to that better place, yeah. 01:29:18.399 --> 01:29:19.359 Whatever that is for you. 01:29:19.600 --> 01:29:20.000 Well, Dr. 01:29:20.079 --> 01:29:25.279

Maribel, thank you so much for coming on the we went way over time, but I was like, I'm gonna stop with this. 01:29:25.359 --> 01:29:26.239 This she's awesome. 01:29:26.319 --> 01:29:27.039 You are amazing. 01:29:27.359 --> 01:29:27.680 Thank you. 01:29:27.920 --> 01:29:29.520 What you're doing is very important. 01:29:29.840 --> 01:29:34.319 You're truly having an impact, and I have a huge heart for first responders. 01:29:34.479 --> 01:29:42.319 I'm actually on the board of a nonprofit that is for um female first responders and takes them on the streets who are suffering from PTSD and stuff like that. 01:29:42.560 --> 01:29:49.199 Um, what you do matters, it really is super important because who's gonna help the ones that saved everybody else, you know? 01:29:49.359 --> 01:29:54.800 So we do at the end of the podcast, I bring this back now, um, just to kind of light it up and have a little bit of fun. 01:29:54.880 --> 01:29:56.239 I'm gonna ask you just a couple questions here. 01:29:56.479 --> 01:29:57.760 You just answer them, I'll answer them with you. 01:29:57.840 --> 01:29:58.800 We'll make this quick, okay? 01:29:59.119 --> 01:30:00.319 These are called answer the internet. 01:30:00.720 --> 01:30:01.600 Nothing inappropriate. 01:30:02.079 --> 01:30:02.720 I don't do that. 01:30:03.359 --> 01:30:03.680 Okay. 01:30:04.399 --> 01:30:06.239 So your first question, okay? 01:30:06.800 --> 01:30:12.000 Would you rather give up appetizers or desserts for life? 01:30:12.319 --> 01:30:13.119 Oh, desserts. 01:30:13.359 --> 01:30:13.760 Really? 01:30:13.920 --> 01:30:15.279 Yeah, I love cheese. 01:30:15.439 --> 01:30:18.000 Oh, chips and salsa. 01:30:18.079 --> 01:30:18.560 Yeah. 01:30:19.279 --> 01:30:21.439 Oh, I'm 50-50 on this. 01:30:21.600 --> 01:30:23.119 I'm really think about it. 01:30:23.279 --> 01:30:24.239 I love dessert. 01:30:24.319 --> 01:30:24.960 I love dessert. 01:30:25.199 --> 01:30:26.880 I think I think I would probably do the same. 01:30:26.960 --> 01:30:27.600 I give up desserts. 01:30:27.760 --> 01:30:30.319 The appetite, there's so much you can do with appetizers. 01:30:30.479 --> 01:30:31.279 There's so many different ones. 01:30:32.399 --> 01:30:33.359 Yeah, no, I love that. 01:30:33.439 --> 01:30:33.840 I love that. 01:30:34.000 --> 01:30:35.600 Okay, do you karaoke? 01:30:36.079 --> 01:30:36.560 I do. 01:30:36.880 --> 01:30:37.760 Oh, stop. 01:30:38.159 --> 01:30:39.760 Okay, this is this is just for you. 01:30:39.920 --> 01:30:40.239 Okay. 01:30:40.640 --> 01:30:42.319 So don't make me do that right now. 01:30:43.439 --> 01:30:47.840 What is your number one song for karaoke? 01:30:48.079 --> 01:30:48.960 Oh my gosh. 01:30:49.199 --> 01:30:49.760 What do you got? 01:30:50.000 --> 01:30:52.479 Any ranchera Spanish song? 01:30:53.680 --> 01:30:55.840 Don't make me sing Chalino now. 01:30:56.399 --> 01:30:58.560 Nieve Zenero from Chalino. 01:30:58.800 --> 01:31:00.319 Oh my god, I freaking love it. 01:31:02.720 --> 01:31:04.560 Hey, though, hey, good, good. 01:31:04.720 --> 01:31:06.399 Mine is uh My Girl. 01:31:06.560 --> 01:31:07.600 Oh, oh, I love that one. 01:31:08.000 --> 01:31:08.640 Always sing My Girl. 01:31:10.239 --> 01:31:10.880 Oh my goodness. 01:31:10.960 --> 01:31:11.760 I I nail that. 01:31:11.920 --> 01:31:13.439 I always get a free drink when I sing that one. 01:31:13.520 --> 01:31:13.840 Okay. 01:31:14.479 --> 01:31:17.199 Um, okay, so the last one. 01:31:17.760 --> 01:31:18.479 Let's see here. 01:31:18.560 --> 01:31:19.199 Let me see here. 01:31:20.720 --> 01:31:21.039 Okay. 01:31:23.279 --> 01:31:23.920 What? 01:31:24.560 --> 01:31:25.520 You ready for this? 01:31:25.920 --> 01:31:26.079 Okay. 01:31:26.239 --> 01:31:27.680 I already know this for a fact. 01:31:27.840 --> 01:31:28.720 Yeah, take your phone. 01:31:29.680 --> 01:31:30.399 Yeah, look at that mug. 01:31:30.479 --> 01:31:30.960 Take that plug. 01:31:31.039 --> 01:31:31.760 Let's go podcast. 01:31:32.000 --> 01:31:32.479 Subscribe. 01:31:32.640 --> 01:31:33.760 Like, let's go share. 01:31:34.079 --> 01:31:35.520 Let's go podcast. 01:31:35.920 --> 01:31:36.239 Okay. 01:31:36.560 --> 01:31:37.520 Your last question. 01:31:37.600 --> 01:31:38.479 Here it is. 01:31:38.880 --> 01:31:43.039 What is the one food you could eat for the rest of your life? 01:31:43.279 --> 01:31:44.319 Oh, that's easy. 01:31:44.479 --> 01:31:45.119 Chicken. 01:31:45.520 --> 01:31:45.920 Chicken? 01:31:46.079 --> 01:31:46.560 Okay, chicken. 01:31:46.960 --> 01:31:47.359 It's simple. 01:31:47.520 --> 01:31:48.239 Keep it simple. 01:31:48.479 --> 01:31:50.720 Oh, mine is um, mine's actually very simple. 01:31:50.800 --> 01:31:51.600 It's chicken nuggets. 01:31:52.159 --> 01:31:52.640 Chicken nuggets? 01:31:52.880 --> 01:31:54.079 I'll never get tired. 01:31:54.319 --> 01:31:55.039 Well, see, it's chicken. 01:31:55.279 --> 01:31:55.600 Chicken nuggets. 01:31:55.680 --> 01:31:55.760 Yes. 01:31:55.920 --> 01:31:59.760 You can have them chicken nuggets, baked chicken, fried chicken, any kind of chicken. 01:31:59.920 --> 01:32:00.000 Yeah. 01:32:01.199 --> 01:32:03.680 I will eat chicken nuggets all day if I could. 01:32:03.840 --> 01:32:05.520 That's the one thing I remember from second grade. 01:32:05.600 --> 01:32:06.720 They're like, what's your favorite food? 01:32:06.880 --> 01:32:08.640 If you can eat one food, what would you eat? 01:32:08.720 --> 01:32:09.600 I'm like, chicken. 01:32:09.760 --> 01:32:11.439 And I'm like, God, how many years later? 01:32:11.520 --> 01:32:12.239 I'm 48. 01:32:12.319 --> 01:32:13.359 So it's still chicken. 01:32:13.520 --> 01:32:15.520 That's the one constant thing in my life. 01:32:15.760 --> 01:32:16.399 I love it. 01:32:16.479 --> 01:32:16.960 Well, Dr. 01:32:17.119 --> 01:32:22.159 Maribel, um, thank you so much for taking the time to come on the podcast. 01:32:22.239 --> 01:32:31.119 Thank you for scaring me in front of my house while I was trying to get my trash cans

in, driving all the way out here, but also again, what you do for um my fellow first responders. 01:32:31.199 --> 01:32:31.680 It's very important. 01:32:31.840 --> 01:32:32.960 You're impacting lives. 01:32:33.119 --> 01:32:34.720 And um keep going. 01:32:34.960 --> 01:32:35.199 Thank you. 01:32:35.520 --> 01:32:36.399 Please keep going. 01:32:36.560 --> 01:32:39.680 You are such a genuine person, and I hope people reach out. 01:32:39.840 --> 01:32:44.159 And if people do want to reach out, what's the best way for them to um contact you? 01:32:44.319 --> 01:32:45.600 Social media or website? 01:32:46.079 --> 01:32:46.720 Find me Dr. 01:32:46.800 --> 01:32:53.840 Maribel on Instagram, or you can text me on my cell, 909-678-9700. 01:32:54.159 --> 01:32:54.880 That is my cell. 01:32:55.039 --> 01:32:55.760 Ghost Call Me. 01:32:56.239 --> 01:32:57.920 You are brave putting that on here. 01:32:59.039 --> 01:33:00.159 You can text me. 01:33:00.319 --> 01:33:03.199 Doesn't mean I will always answer you, right? 01:33:03.920 --> 01:33:06.800 And uh it is on Do Not Disturb right now. 01:33:06.960 --> 01:33:07.600 Oh shit. 01:33:07.840 --> 01:33:11.840 And I I tell people text because a lot of times people are afraid of making that call. 01:33:12.000 --> 01:33:12.239 Yeah. 01:33:12.399 --> 01:33:14.479 And so just text me, hey, do you have a minute? 01:33:14.560 --> 01:33:15.920 And I'm like, Yeah, yeah. 01:33:16.079 --> 01:33:21.279 Oh, you think my phone would be ringing off the hook, but it's not, it's not all the time. 01:33:21.600 --> 01:33:24.479 Oh, we are so we are downloaded globally. 01:33:24.720 --> 01:33:25.520 You're crazy. 01:33:25.680 --> 01:33:27.680 You are you are insane. 01:33:28.000 --> 01:33:29.359 I have two cell phones. 01:33:29.680 --> 01:33:30.319 Oh my god. 01:33:32.079 --> 01:33:33.439 Okay, you put it out there. 01:33:34.640 --> 01:33:35.439 Um it's public. 01:33:35.520 --> 01:33:36.239 Yeah, it is what it is. 01:33:36.640 --> 01:33:39.279 It's my therapy number, it's public, it's out there. 01:33:39.520 --> 01:33:40.560 There's no hiding it. 01:33:40.640 --> 01:33:44.640 If you want to find me, you know, you know, you can look me up and everything's there. 01:33:44.880 --> 01:33:45.199 I love it. 01:33:45.359 --> 01:33:50.960 And then also, uh, you maybe you know or don't know, but your book, when can we look for that? 01:33:51.199 --> 01:33:52.640 It should be out by September. 01:33:52.880 --> 01:33:53.359 By September? 01:33:53.520 --> 01:33:54.239 Yeah, August, September. 01:33:54.479 --> 01:33:54.800 Let me know. 01:33:55.439 --> 01:34:06.000 Um uh shoot me a text or whatever, and I will uh I'll put together an ad for you on here and talk about it and put a plug-in for you and we'll we'll put it out there for you too to help you out. 01:34:06.159 --> 01:34:08.640 And then your son-in-law works for Santa Monica? 01:34:08.800 --> 01:34:10.079 Yeah, Santa Monica Fire. 01:34:10.239 --> 01:34:11.439 So he doesn't fight any fire? 01:34:12.560 --> 01:34:13.359 I'm sorry, girl. 01:34:13.520 --> 01:34:14.159 I had to do it. 01:34:14.319 --> 01:34:15.199 I had to do it, dude. 01:34:15.359 --> 01:34:16.159 My guy, I had to do it. 01:34:16.399 --> 01:34:17.359 Santa Monica Fire. 01:34:17.439 --> 01:34:18.960 You know what I'll come together. 01:34:19.199 --> 01:34:21.359 Just like you guys go, I'm a firefighter. 01:34:22.159 --> 01:34:22.880 No, that's dope. 01:34:23.199 --> 01:34:23.840 Or a fireman. 01:34:25.039 --> 01:34:25.920 We can't say that anymore. 01:34:26.239 --> 01:34:27.199 Fireman sexist. 01:34:27.279 --> 01:34:36.640 We can't say that we're I always know when someone calls me and says, I'm a fireman, I'm like, okay, I have to be a little political correct and be five minutes early because the guy's gonna be like, You were late. 01:34:37.039 --> 01:34:38.000 You were right on time. 01:34:38.560 --> 01:34:39.279 Super serious. 01:34:39.520 --> 01:34:43.439 Well, hey, at the end of this podcast, we always do a let's go on the count of three. 01:34:43.520 --> 01:34:43.840 Are you ready? 01:34:44.000 --> 01:34:45.119 Yeah, let's do this. 01:34:45.279 --> 01:34:46.800 Um, by the way, you're coming back. 01:34:46.960 --> 01:34:48.000 You have no choice. 01:34:48.720 --> 01:34:49.680 Appreciate you being here. 01:34:49.920 --> 01:34:50.319 Okay, you ready? 01:34:50.479 --> 01:34:51.119 Let's go on three. 01:34:51.359 --> 01:34:52.319 One, two, three. 01:34:52.560 --> 01:34:53.279 Let's go. 01:34:54.079 --> 01:34:55.359 Hi, everybody.

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