התמלול המלא של Kabbalah for Everyone — Lesson 22: Daas: How to Close the Gap Between What You Know and How You Actually Live

analyze what we call binah. 00:06:47.680 --> 00:06:54.959 They can be wise, they can understand, they can grasp a profound spiritual truth. 00:06:55.120 --> 00:07:14.800 And still, says Rabbi Schneerzalman, if they don't apply Das, if they don't bind their minds firmly to the truth and remain with it, the truth, as he says, will not necessarily give birth to real feeling of the heart. 00:07:16.959 --> 00:07:23.680 The way he describes Das, and I'll use the Hebrew there to give you that Hebrew. 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:32.959 For those of you who don't know Hebrew, just you can ignore it, or hopefully at some point uh you can come back to it and learn it on a deeper level. 00:07:33.600 --> 00:07:40.800 The way he describes Das is Hiskashrus vehiscabrus, which means attachment and connection. 00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:50.959 Das is attachment and connection, which means for it to be das, it has to become real to me. 00:07:54.480 --> 00:08:02.800 I think this may be a definition that we've used throughout this course. 00:08:03.439 --> 00:08:06.079 I'll try to simplify it for you. 00:08:09.839 --> 00:08:11.920 Bina is I understand it. 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:15.519 Das is it real to me? 00:08:16.480 --> 00:08:22.560 When something becomes real, we begin to live differently. 00:08:23.839 --> 00:08:28.800 Maybe not dramatically or or or emotionally, but differently. 00:08:29.120 --> 00:08:35.360 So today I want to try my best to take Das out of the Kabawa dictionary and bring it home. 00:08:35.600 --> 00:08:45.919 Bring it into our lives, into our relationships, into our anxiety, into some of the things that we've been avoiding. 00:08:48.000 --> 00:09:02.240 My hope is that this class moves its way out of this beautiful container and into your Wednesday afternoon and your Thursday afternoon and your Friday morning and your Shabbat. 00:09:04.559 --> 00:09:10.559 The real test of Das is not what happens when you're sitting in this beautiful class. 00:09:10.879 --> 00:09:13.279 It may sound incredible. 00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:20.639 But what remains when the inspiration is faded? 00:09:21.279 --> 00:09:26.000 When you're no longer in the atmosphere that originally awakened you. 00:09:26.080 --> 00:09:29.759 You can have a moment like, oh my gosh, this makes sense to me. 00:09:30.399 --> 00:09:32.559 And that's great within a container. 00:09:32.799 --> 00:09:35.840 But how do we take this out of the container? 00:09:36.000 --> 00:09:38.559 So I'm calling today's class the Wednesday test. 00:09:39.519 --> 00:09:53.279 It's not the retreat test, it's not the Yom Kippur test, it's not the beautiful class test, it's the Wednesday test because you can be deeply moved, let's say, on Yom Kippur, or you can be deeply moved at a retreat. 00:09:53.440 --> 00:10:02.240 You can go to a retreat and you can move, remove yourself from the world, and it could be this beautiful, incredible, amazing experience. 00:10:02.399 --> 00:10:07.120 And then hours after you return, you're

back to the old self. 00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:12.320 So I want to know can truth survive a regular Wednesday? 00:10:12.559 --> 00:10:13.600 And that is Das. 00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:21.840 So let's try to connect this to the last two classes for those of you who are following. 00:10:21.919 --> 00:10:25.279 Again, I'm for those of you who are just parachuting in, this will be fine. 00:10:25.360 --> 00:10:28.720 And some things here will connect, some things will be independent. 00:10:33.039 --> 00:10:35.519 A few weeks ago, we started speaking about chachma. 00:10:35.600 --> 00:10:37.679 We said chachmah is the first flash. 00:10:38.080 --> 00:10:43.120 The moment something opens, the moment, like wow, I had a moment. 00:10:43.360 --> 00:10:44.320 I see it. 00:10:44.960 --> 00:10:45.759 Got it. 00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:47.279 Connected, connected. 00:10:47.360 --> 00:10:49.759 It's like came from above, it's in my head. 00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:51.039 It's a second. 00:10:51.279 --> 00:10:55.039 Maybe you can't explain it yet, but something is there. 00:10:56.240 --> 00:11:01.440 We said that Chachma is connected to Koachma, which means the power of what? 00:11:01.759 --> 00:11:02.320 What? 00:11:02.559 --> 00:11:03.120 Wow. 00:11:03.360 --> 00:11:14.799 The ability to become humble enough, to become open enough to receive a truth that did not originate in my ego. 00:11:15.679 --> 00:11:20.240 It came from humility, it came from something beyond me. 00:11:20.799 --> 00:11:22.320 Then we spoke about Bina. 00:11:23.600 --> 00:11:26.879 Bina says, wait, okay, that was great. 00:11:27.039 --> 00:11:29.759 I have a moment, but that was only a second. 00:11:29.919 --> 00:11:31.519 Let me understand this. 00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:32.399 Why? 00:11:32.720 --> 00:11:33.360 How? 00:11:34.080 --> 00:11:35.679 What does it mean? 00:11:36.559 --> 00:11:38.720 What follows from it? 00:11:39.440 --> 00:11:42.960 How does this connect to everything else I know? 00:11:43.200 --> 00:11:44.720 Collective memory. 00:11:45.200 --> 00:11:55.679 So in the words of Kabbalah, Chachma receives the seed, Bina develops the seed. 00:11:57.279 --> 00:12:03.360 Actually, the way that the Rabbi Schneer Zaman explains it, he says, Chachmah is the seminal point. 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:08.240 Bina expands and develops the point in length and breadth and depth. 00:12:08.320 --> 00:12:09.919 We spoke about that last week. 00:12:10.240 --> 00:12:11.919 Chachma says, I see. 00:12:12.320 --> 00:12:14.240 Bina says, I understand. 00:12:14.879 --> 00:12:16.639 And what does Das say? 00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:17.919 Stay. 00:12:18.320 --> 00:12:18.960 Stay. 00:12:19.360 --> 00:12:20.559 Stay with it. 00:12:20.960 --> 00:12:22.559 Don't immediately swipe away. 00:12:22.879 --> 00:12:24.720 Don't swipe right or left. 00:12:26.159 --> 00:12:27.759 Don't collect another idea. 00:12:28.960 --> 00:12:32.399 We have this desire to just collect information. 00:12:33.519 --> 00:12:35.759 Constantly collect information. 00:12:36.639 --> 00:12:37.679 Just give me more. 00:12:37.840 --> 00:12:42.080 We come from this beautiful world of education. 00:12:42.240 --> 00:12:45.440 Education comes from the Greek word ezukara to convey a message. 00:12:45.519 --> 00:12:46.879 We just want more information. 00:12:46.960 --> 00:12:48.320 And we're trained like that. 00:12:48.559 --> 00:12:49.919 Universities train us like that. 00:12:50.080 --> 00:12:51.360 Just give us more information. 00:12:51.519 --> 00:13:04.480 But what's amazing to me and why I think this is so much more important in our world today, because now that we live in a world with so much information, like it's beyond. 00:13:04.879 --> 00:13:11.519 If you were living a hundred years ago, your access to information was minuscule. 00:13:11.600 --> 00:13:22.799 I mean, there's many of us that remember having to go to the library with the Dewey Decimal system to be able to do our research papers and be able to go find information. 00:13:22.960 --> 00:13:35.519 Today, not only can you forget about Google, what with the ability we have to have a plethora of information, it's incredible the world that we live in. 00:13:35.840 --> 00:13:47.039 But so, so, instead of trying to grasp, instead of trying to collect, can we take an idea and can we stay with it? 00:13:47.840 --> 00:13:56.399 Not collect another idea, not rushing to the next podcast, not saying, oh, that was interesting. 00:13:56.639 --> 00:13:58.240 I said that a lot in my life. 00:13:58.399 --> 00:14:00.320 Yeah, that was interesting. 00:14:00.639 --> 00:14:02.159 Beautiful, beautiful. 00:14:02.399 --> 00:14:03.840 And then we move on. 00:14:04.159 --> 00:14:05.759 But can we stay? 00:14:06.480 --> 00:14:08.480 Can we let it come closer? 00:14:09.039 --> 00:14:11.360 Can we let it become more personal? 00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:15.200 Can we let it ask something of us? 00:14:19.519 --> 00:14:21.519 Here's one way I would think about it. 00:14:26.399 --> 00:14:30.080 Bina opens the door and says, Come in, tell me who you are. 00:14:31.679 --> 00:14:34.720 Das hands it the key. 00:14:36.240 --> 00:14:38.240 Now the truth lives here. 00:14:40.720 --> 00:14:42.480 And I think that's different. 00:14:42.799 --> 00:14:47.759 Because you can visit someone's home and you can know a great deal about the house. 00:14:48.000 --> 00:15:00.240 You can know where the kitchen is, you can even know what color the walls are, you can know where the bathroom is, you can even understand the floor plan if you want to go into the architecture of the house. 00:15:00.480 --> 00:15:04.080 You can complement the furniture, but you don't live there. 00:15:06.799 --> 00:15:08.480 It's not your house. 00:15:11.279 --> 00:15:15.120 is when the idea stops being a visitor and it moves in. 00:15:19.360 --> 00:15:21.840 Now I want to go into the actual word. 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:32.960 When Rabbi Schnirzaman and Tanya explains the word Das, he brings a verse from the Torah.

00:15:33.200 --> 00:15:35.200 It's from the book of Genesis. 00:15:35.360 --> 00:15:42.320 Right in the beginning, it says, that Adam knew Eve in the biblical sense. 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:51.360 And what's interesting is Das know, like Yada, Yada and Das are the same root. 00:15:51.759 --> 00:16:03.840 So as Adam knew Eve, it's interesting to me or to the learning that the Torah uses the word yada, new, to describe, what is it describing? 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:06.080 A deep marital intimacy. 00:16:09.840 --> 00:16:16.639 I wouldn't think of using the word no, even though it's become like the joke, oh, he knew her in the biblical sense. 00:16:16.799 --> 00:16:19.120 That's where it comes from, from that verse. 00:16:21.279 --> 00:16:25.600 But I wouldn't think of the word no to describe intimacy. 00:16:27.679 --> 00:16:33.919 And I think there's a telling in the translation that maybe no is not really no. 00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:41.039 Because das does not mean information, it actually means connection. 00:16:41.759 --> 00:16:50.320 It means bond, joining, intimacy, attachment, union, like we said before. 00:16:50.720 --> 00:16:55.759 And that's a completely different definition of knowing. 00:16:57.759 --> 00:17:10.880 Modern English, and this is part of the trouble that we have with translation, modern English uses the word know usually to mean I possess data about this. 00:17:11.200 --> 00:17:14.720 I know Paris is in France. 00:17:17.119 --> 00:17:19.039 I know your phone number. 00:17:20.799 --> 00:17:25.680 I know that this class begins at 9 a.m. 00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:27.759 on Wednesdays Eastern time. 00:17:30.559 --> 00:17:33.759 But the Torah is using the word know very differently. 00:17:34.240 --> 00:17:40.960 The Torah is using the word knowing to mean am I intimately joined to this? 00:17:41.920 --> 00:17:44.400 Is it no longer outside me? 00:17:47.039 --> 00:17:50.960 So I want to try to simplify this. 00:17:53.200 --> 00:18:01.599 I'd like to invite you to think about the difference between knowing about someone and knowing someone. 00:18:04.079 --> 00:18:05.680 I know about this person. 00:18:05.839 --> 00:18:08.000 If somebody asks me, do you know this person? 00:18:08.559 --> 00:18:09.920 I know elements of them. 00:18:10.079 --> 00:18:11.279 I don't know them well. 00:18:12.640 --> 00:18:16.079 I can picture their face when I when you said their name. 00:18:16.400 --> 00:18:17.200 Do I know them? 00:18:17.359 --> 00:18:18.960 Do I know their favorite color? 00:18:19.279 --> 00:18:19.599 No. 00:18:20.480 --> 00:18:24.079 Do I know have I had a meaningful conversation with them? 00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:24.960 Probably not. 00:18:25.119 --> 00:18:29.920 And I think there's a big difference between knowing about someone and knowing someone. 00:18:30.400 --> 00:18:34.640 You can read a biography of a person. 00:18:36.079 --> 00:18:37.759 You can know where they were born. 00:18:37.920 --> 00:18:41.200 You can even go on Wikipedia and you can know where they were born. 00:18:41.519 --> 00:18:43.599 You can know where they went to school. 00:18:45.920 --> 00:18:50.079 You can even know if you know them a little better, you can know what they like. 00:18:50.400 --> 00:18:55.119 Sometimes if they come to you for dinner, you may know what foods they can eat and what they can't eat. 00:18:56.000 --> 00:18:59.359 On a peripheral level, you may know their accomplishments. 00:18:59.599 --> 00:19:04.240 How they how they they look to the outside world. 00:19:05.119 --> 00:19:09.839 You may, if you know them a little better, may even know facts about them. 00:19:10.079 --> 00:19:12.559 You may even know facts about their family. 00:19:15.119 --> 00:19:27.519 And if you're talking about your parents and you're the child, you know them differently than maybe anyone else. 00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:29.680 You want to go even a little more intimate. 00:19:29.839 --> 00:19:32.720 If you're their partner, you know them differently. 00:19:33.440 --> 00:19:36.799 Their closest friend will know them differently. 00:19:37.519 --> 00:19:50.240 Not it's not necessarily because they possess more information, but because there's a relationship. 00:19:52.960 --> 00:20:09.519 So Das takes an idea that is intellectually developed and brings it into a concentrated personal connection so it no longer remains in a world of its own. 00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:13.680 I like this. 00:20:14.160 --> 00:20:18.880 Factual info versus being allowed to experience their soul. 00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:25.599 And I think this is one of the great problems of spiritual life. 00:20:27.920 --> 00:20:29.440 Let's talk about God. 00:20:30.559 --> 00:20:34.880 We know a tremendous amount about God, but do we know God? 00:20:36.000 --> 00:20:36.319 No. 00:20:37.680 --> 00:20:41.759 We know about prayer, but do we pray? 00:20:42.160 --> 00:20:43.200 Gratitude. 00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:45.519 We know so much about gratitude. 00:20:45.680 --> 00:20:48.480 Oh, I need more gratitude in my life. 00:20:49.359 --> 00:20:50.640 And then life happens. 00:20:50.720 --> 00:20:52.160 And are we grateful? 00:20:54.720 --> 00:21:03.680 We know, we know people are souls, beautiful souls created in the image of God, and then they annoy us in the grocery store. 00:21:04.640 --> 00:21:08.319 And apparently their soul has taken the afternoon off. 00:21:12.480 --> 00:21:17.759 We know everything happens within divine providence. 00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:27.359 An email arrives, and suddenly God has apparently lost control of God's universe. 00:21:29.359 --> 00:21:34.079 And I'll tell you, I sometimes think I don't want to be a hypocrite. 00:21:34.240 --> 00:21:38.160 Like, how can I be teaching this? 00:21:39.759 --> 00:21:46.799 And at the same time, I have moments where I where I I'm like, who are you? 00:21:50.240 --> 00:21:52.480 I think this is the human condition. 00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:59.440 There's a gap between conceptual knowledge and lived

reality. 00:22:00.880 --> 00:22:08.000 And Kabbalah and Chasid's call us to close that gap, and closing that gap is Das. 00:22:14.799 --> 00:22:20.160 I want to sharpen this because I think we've sometimes used a shorthand in previous classes. 00:22:20.559 --> 00:22:25.599 And now that we have the opportunity to thicken this and to build on it. 00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:32.799 Like in previous classes, for those of you who have followed, we said DOS is integration. 00:22:33.039 --> 00:22:34.160 It's true. 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:37.359 We even said DOS is follow-through. 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:38.400 True. 00:22:38.799 --> 00:22:41.279 We said DOS is commitment. 00:22:42.240 --> 00:22:44.240 Also true in a certain sense. 00:22:44.480 --> 00:22:47.200 But today I want to become more precise. 00:22:47.839 --> 00:22:50.319 Das is not simply the action. 00:22:51.039 --> 00:22:53.440 It's not just the commitment. 00:22:53.920 --> 00:22:57.200 Those are the fruits of Das. 00:22:58.480 --> 00:23:06.720 Das is the bond with the truth that eventually produces those fruits. 00:23:08.559 --> 00:23:10.799 I'll explain why this matters. 00:23:11.920 --> 00:23:13.599 Try to simplify it. 00:23:15.440 --> 00:23:18.160 You can force yourself to do something once. 00:23:18.400 --> 00:23:19.680 That's action. 00:23:22.079 --> 00:23:23.680 People make New Year's resolutions. 00:23:23.839 --> 00:23:28.559 Beautiful New Year's resolutions, I've heard the best. 00:23:29.119 --> 00:23:30.720 And that's commitment. 00:23:34.079 --> 00:23:38.240 You can get emotional, and that's a feeling. 00:23:40.000 --> 00:23:44.000 You can be inspired, and that's inspiration. 00:23:44.720 --> 00:23:54.240 And none of those by themselves necessarily mean the truth has become deeply integrated. 00:23:56.880 --> 00:24:14.559 Commitment may be something that Das leaves behind, and emotional excitement may come up along the way, but neither one by itself is identical with Das. 00:24:19.200 --> 00:24:35.359 The benchmark is sustained attachment to a truth until it continues to operate even after the original thought or the original feeling has faded. 00:24:35.680 --> 00:24:37.680 I want to simplify this again. 00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:40.000 I know it seems like a lot of words. 00:24:41.440 --> 00:24:44.960 I try to stay away from word solid, but sometimes it happens. 00:24:47.839 --> 00:24:55.680 Das is staying with the truth long enough that the truth starts staying with you. 00:24:57.759 --> 00:24:59.440 I'll say it again. 00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:11.359 Das is staying with a truth long enough that the truth starts staying with you. 00:25:13.200 --> 00:25:15.359 Let me give you an example. 00:25:16.160 --> 00:25:17.759 Imagine a doctor. 00:25:20.319 --> 00:25:25.200 A doctor knows everything about the health risks of smoking. 00:25:27.039 --> 00:25:36.480 The doctor can explain the physiology, can give you the statistics, can lecture patients. 00:25:38.079 --> 00:25:46.000 The doctor can identify every consequence and then walk outside and light a cigarette. 00:25:48.400 --> 00:25:49.599 What's missing? 00:25:50.400 --> 00:25:52.799 It's not chachma, they have the chachma. 00:25:52.880 --> 00:25:53.759 It's not the bina. 00:25:54.400 --> 00:26:00.559 They understand it beautifully, they can explain it better better than anyone else. 00:26:01.039 --> 00:26:10.319 The idea has simply not acquired enough personal reality to govern their behavior. 00:26:10.559 --> 00:26:14.960 There's a story of Aristotle that one of the students caught him doing something that was terrible. 00:26:15.200 --> 00:26:20.640 And he said, Now I'm Aristotle the person, not Aristotle the philosopher. 00:26:21.200 --> 00:26:22.400 That's not Das. 00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:27.440 Knowledge can remain objective. 00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:33.599 Das makes an idea personally consequential. 00:26:34.720 --> 00:26:37.119 Now don't get distracted by smoking. 00:26:37.279 --> 00:26:39.039 It was just an example. 00:26:42.079 --> 00:26:44.640 You and I can do this all day, right? 00:26:44.720 --> 00:26:45.839 It's not just smoking. 00:26:46.000 --> 00:26:47.920 We know sleep matters. 00:26:49.359 --> 00:27:06.400 And then at twelve forty-seven in the morning, while watching a video of someone reorganizing a refrigerator, apparently it's very important that we see where this stranger puts the yogurt. 00:27:08.960 --> 00:27:12.480 And yeah. 00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:14.960 Should I be sleeping? 00:27:15.039 --> 00:27:15.359 Yeah. 00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:16.559 Am I having trouble? 00:27:16.720 --> 00:27:17.359 Yeah. 00:27:21.039 --> 00:27:29.039 We know that if we want to talk to somebody, the conversation will go badly if we begin it while we're angry. 00:27:29.119 --> 00:27:30.319 And we begin. 00:27:32.880 --> 00:27:38.880 We know that retail therapy, that purchase is not going to solve the feeling. 00:27:39.039 --> 00:27:39.599 And what? 00:27:39.759 --> 00:27:40.319 What do we do? 00:27:40.480 --> 00:27:41.440 We buy. 00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:52.400 Somebody told me recently what they started doing is they go for their retail therapy and they take whatever they want and they put it on hold for an hour. 00:27:52.480 --> 00:27:55.599 And if they come back an hour later, they buy it. 00:27:59.920 --> 00:28:00.559 We know. 00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:06.480 There's so much that we know, and we live in a world where, thank God, we know a lot. 00:28:08.799 --> 00:28:10.240 But that isn't yet Das. 00:28:15.759 --> 00:28:17.440 I gave you some modern examples. 00:28:17.599 --> 00:28:23.279 Let me go back and give you some examples that are used in Kabbalistic and Hasidic thought. 00:28:26.319 --> 00:28:29.680 Here's another beautiful way to understand this. 00:28:31.519 --> 00:28:37.119 Imagine a child has an exceptional teacher. 00:28:38.720 --> 00:28:41.440 There are exceptional teachers in the world. 00:28:42.079 --> 00:28:44.640 A teacher that understands the child. 00:28:45.759 -->

00:28:52.640 And maybe the teacher can explain the child's personality better than their own parents can. 00:28:53.920 --> 00:29:12.480 The teacher knows the child's learning style, the teacher understands their strengths, their challenges, and maybe intellectually the teacher can give you a more sophisticated analysis of the child than the mother can. 00:29:15.119 --> 00:29:17.759 But it's not his child. 00:29:19.039 --> 00:29:21.119 And that changes everything. 00:29:21.680 --> 00:29:27.279 Because the parent doesn't just understand their child. 00:29:27.519 --> 00:29:31.039 The parent is bound to the child. 00:29:31.519 --> 00:29:36.319 And I think this is why the imagery of Adam knew Eve matters. 00:29:36.640 --> 00:29:41.680 Because Das is not just I've correctly analyzed this. 00:29:42.079 --> 00:29:45.839 It's I'm in a relationship with this. 00:29:51.119 --> 00:29:53.200 I'm in a relationship with this. 00:29:54.000 --> 00:29:58.480 You can tell me all about my child's learning styles from today till tomorrow. 00:29:58.720 --> 00:30:00.799 But I'm the parent and I know my child. 00:30:00.960 --> 00:30:06.799 And you see, when I said I know my child, I'm using that same word. 00:30:10.880 --> 00:30:18.240 And I think if I can be so bold to say this, this changes how we think about Judaism. 00:30:19.680 --> 00:30:21.440 I'll tell you why. 00:30:22.960 --> 00:30:26.799 God is not asking us only to become religious experts. 00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:29.920 God wants a relationship. 00:30:30.640 --> 00:30:32.960 The Torah is not a history book. 00:30:33.119 --> 00:30:37.279 It's not supposed to be a beautiful book of beautiful information. 00:30:37.920 --> 00:30:41.200 When we pray, it's not supposed to be information. 00:30:42.160 --> 00:30:46.079 Shabbat is not simply information. 00:30:47.119 --> 00:30:49.839 My soul is not information. 00:30:50.400 --> 00:30:57.279 The goal is that what is true becomes close enough to matter. 00:31:02.240 --> 00:31:05.759 I want to give you a quote from the Zohar. 00:31:08.720 --> 00:31:25.680 When the Zohar the fundamental, the magnum opus of Kabbalah, describes Das, and I'll use the Aramaic, the Zohar is written in Aramaic, and I'll translate it to English after. 00:31:26.000 --> 00:31:30.000 It says Mafticha to Choloshis. 00:31:31.680 --> 00:31:35.440 To translate literally, it means the key that includes six. 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:37.519 The key that includes six? 00:31:37.680 --> 00:31:38.559 What does that mean? 00:31:38.880 --> 00:31:39.920 What's six? 00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:48.240 What's six is the six primary emotional qualities that we're going to start getting into over the next weeks. 00:31:48.640 --> 00:31:53.839 The six primary sifiroth netza chodyasod. 00:31:54.960 --> 00:31:59.039 And we'll we'll get into this deeply as this course continues. 00:32:00.400 --> 00:32:03.759 But for today, the point is like this. 00:32:04.960 --> 00:32:10.799 Das is the key that opens the emotional life. 00:32:11.279 --> 00:32:15.359 Where now we need the brainstem. 00:32:16.000 --> 00:32:19.519 Actually, on the body, das is at the brainstem. 00:32:19.680 --> 00:32:21.119 What does the brainstem do? 00:32:21.279 --> 00:32:25.440 It's the integrator between the upper and lower parts of the body. 00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:31.039 We need the integrator between the intellect and the emotions. 00:32:31.920 --> 00:32:39.440 And this image of the Zohar is explained beautifully throughout Hasidic literature. 00:32:41.039 --> 00:32:49.920 Das is called the key to the six emotional attributes because it activates and gives them vitality. 00:32:50.240 --> 00:32:52.880 I like this image of a key. 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:54.960 Let's think about a key. 00:32:55.200 --> 00:32:56.640 A key is small. 00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:01.200 A house may be enormous. 00:33:02.240 --> 00:33:04.880 But if you can't open the door, you're standing outside. 00:33:05.039 --> 00:33:06.799 I've had moments like that. 00:33:07.599 --> 00:33:13.279 You're staying in someone's house and the key, you're not used to it, and the key doesn't jiggle the right way. 00:33:13.440 --> 00:33:18.799 And you can have a beautiful house and a nice warm bed and hot meal waiting for you. 00:33:19.359 --> 00:33:22.720 But if you can't open the door, what is it worth? 00:33:24.640 --> 00:33:25.920 You're just waiting outside. 00:33:26.000 --> 00:33:27.519 You're standing outside. 00:33:27.839 --> 00:33:30.319 So chachma gives you an idea. 00:33:30.640 --> 00:33:32.400 Bina gives you understanding. 00:33:32.559 --> 00:33:38.480 And das is the key that opens the door between the head and the heart. 00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:47.119 And that I think explains something that we all experience. 00:33:47.279 --> 00:33:50.079 You can understand something without feeling it. 00:33:51.359 --> 00:33:53.440 I'll give you an example. 00:33:54.160 --> 00:33:56.240 I've been traveling a lot lately. 00:33:57.279 --> 00:33:58.960 So you're in the plane. 00:33:59.839 --> 00:34:02.319 The plane is defying gravity. 00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:07.119 It's an unbelievable marvel of the modern world. 00:34:07.359 --> 00:34:08.079 The airplane. 00:34:08.239 --> 00:34:09.679 The modern airplane. 00:34:09.920 --> 00:34:12.719 You're flying, and there's turbulence. 00:34:14.239 --> 00:34:15.679 You've had these moments. 00:34:17.280 --> 00:34:19.519 I know, I'm just thinking about it, it gives you. 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:24.000 I can see it's uh it's getting you worked up. 00:34:24.159 --> 00:34:29.840 There's turbulence, and the pilot comes on and says, folks, uh everything's completely normal. 00:34:30.000 --> 00:34:31.519 Please remain seated. 00:34:34.000 --> 00:34:36.000 And you understand the sentence. 00:34:37.199 --> 00:34:40.719 And you know that turbulence is normal. 00:34:41.039 --> 00:34:44.159 And you know that the plane is built for this. 00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:48.239 Your bina is doing beautifully. 00:34:48.480 --> 00:34:53.280

Meanwhile, your hand is holding the armrest with the strength of Samson. 00:34:56.559 --> 00:35:04.400 So the truth exists in your intellect, but another reality is dominating your emotional system. 00:35:04.639 --> 00:35:07.039 Your body says, We are dying. 00:35:07.280 --> 00:35:08.320 It's over. 00:35:08.880 --> 00:35:09.679 Say Shema. 00:35:12.000 --> 00:35:18.000 And that distance between what you understand and what you feel is real. 00:35:19.360 --> 00:35:23.760 And this is precisely the territory where Das operates. 00:35:25.599 --> 00:35:28.880 My favorite chapter of Tanya is chapter forty-two. 00:35:32.800 --> 00:35:52.480 Explains that Das involves binding thought to godliness so strongly that it has something of the compelling quality of a physical reality one sees before one's eyes. 00:35:52.639 --> 00:36:03.039 And he emphasizes that this requires real effort and sustained meditation, not just abstract knowledge. 00:36:04.480 --> 00:36:07.280 And to me, the language is extraordinary. 00:36:10.320 --> 00:36:16.079 Physical things feel real automatically. 00:36:17.440 --> 00:36:19.679 I get an email, it feels real. 00:36:20.079 --> 00:36:22.079 The bank account, it feels real. 00:36:23.599 --> 00:36:25.679 The doctor's appointment feels real. 00:36:25.840 --> 00:36:30.079 The the the angry face in front of me, it feels real. 00:36:32.400 --> 00:36:40.559 God purpose soul meaning. 00:36:43.039 --> 00:36:48.800 They may all be true, but they may not feel equally present. 00:36:52.239 --> 00:37:09.039 I had a realization some time ago that a meditation is when you think about something until it becomes a feeling. 00:37:11.840 --> 00:37:20.320 And that I often in my life have had negative meditations. 00:37:23.280 --> 00:37:24.880 Many negative meditations. 00:37:24.960 --> 00:37:39.280 I never thought of them as meditations, I never saw them as meditations, but yeah, if I thought about something or someone or an experience that happened to me and it conjured up a negative emotion, that's a negative meditation. 00:37:41.440 --> 00:37:48.800 So the same way I can have a positive meditation about gratitude, about love, about joy, I can also have a negative meditation. 00:37:49.119 --> 00:37:56.639 And perhaps in my life, I've had more negative meditations than positive meditations. 00:37:56.800 --> 00:38:01.519 Not because I wanted to, because that's just what happens. 00:38:01.840 --> 00:38:05.679 And so we have an opportunity to train reality. 00:38:06.400 --> 00:38:17.440 We can train ourselves to inhabit a deeper reality we already understand, and that's DAS. 00:38:35.519 --> 00:38:36.719 Let's get into this. 00:39:04.960 --> 00:39:08.559 Don't allow the mind to immediately move away. 00:39:11.199 --> 00:39:13.440 We live in a very noisy world. 00:39:14.800 --> 00:39:16.639 That's a really hard thing. 00:39:16.800 --> 00:39:30.159 I don't know what it was like a hundred years ago, but the image I have, I wasn't living then, but the image I have of that time, which is usually black and white, is things were slower. 00:39:30.559 --> 00:39:32.960 Things moved at a slower pace. 00:39:36.079 --> 00:39:38.960 The world that I live in does not move at a slower pace. 00:39:39.039 --> 00:39:41.119 It moves at a very fast pace. 00:39:42.159 --> 00:39:48.639 And so maybe if I was teaching this class a hundred years ago, people would be like, Why are you saying this? 00:39:49.519 --> 00:39:51.840 Attention, sustained attention. 00:39:54.079 --> 00:39:56.719 Today I live in an ADD world. 00:39:58.960 --> 00:40:02.719 It's really hard to get someone's attention. 00:40:03.760 --> 00:40:11.920 They used to say a minute, then they said 30 seconds, then they said 15 seconds, and now commercials are five seconds. 00:40:14.639 --> 00:40:34.239 We live in a time where there's so much information that's coming at us and all the time that actually trying to bring our attention to something and staying with it for more than five, ten, twenty, thirty seconds is a great accomplishment. 00:40:35.280 --> 00:40:37.920 Maybe a hundred years ago they laugh at us. 00:40:38.159 --> 00:40:39.679 Maybe I don't know. 00:40:39.920 --> 00:40:44.159 I wasn't living then, I'm living now, but I can tell you the reality of my life. 00:40:47.119 --> 00:40:51.199 Usually things are fleeting. 00:40:53.440 --> 00:41:02.800 And so to stay with something and not allow the mind to immediately move away is incredible. 00:41:04.719 --> 00:41:06.639 Attention is not nothing. 00:41:07.039 --> 00:41:09.280 Attention creates intimacy. 00:41:12.559 --> 00:41:20.400 So whatever I repeatedly return to begins to acquire emotional weight. 00:41:31.280 --> 00:41:35.599 I'm just making a statement because when you call it out, sometimes it makes it easier. 00:41:35.760 --> 00:41:39.360 I know often it's really hard to, let's say, just stay in this class. 00:41:39.519 --> 00:41:42.079 You're on, you're on, if you're here in person, you're on Zoom. 00:41:42.159 --> 00:41:45.920 There could be other things that are opened up on your screen at the same time. 00:41:46.079 --> 00:41:48.239 You could be, you know, multitasking. 00:41:48.400 --> 00:41:55.599 We live in a world of multitasking, or if you're listening to this, you have this in your ear and you're doing something else. 00:41:58.239 --> 00:42:06.639 So this is getting maybe 20% because there's other things going on in your mind, or even if you're here and you're totally here. 00:42:08.400 --> 00:42:16.800 I may have said something 10 minutes ago that all of a sudden your your mind is moving to that and it's focused on that and not on this. 00:42:16.960 --> 00:42:19.280 It's really a hard thing to do. 00:42:20.800 --> 00:42:28.079 But whatever I repeatedly return to will begin to acquire emotional weight. 00:42:30.639 --> 00:42:31.840 Emotional weight. 00:42:32.079 --> 00:42:33.760 This is the integrator here. 00:42:34.079 --> 00:42:36.320 Someone says something hurtful to you.

00:42:36.960 --> 00:42:48.079 What they said lasted eight seconds, and then I replay it for eight hours, for eight days, for eight weeks, for eight months, for eight years. 00:42:50.000 --> 00:42:54.320 I can play it in the shower, in the car, at dinner, before bed. 00:42:55.760 --> 00:42:58.079 I can reconstruct the tone. 00:42:58.480 --> 00:43:00.960 I can imagine what I should have said. 00:43:01.920 --> 00:43:04.480 I could predict what they're gonna say next. 00:43:04.639 --> 00:43:07.760 I can have an entire court case in my head. 00:43:09.360 --> 00:43:16.159 And I'm telling you, I have said the best lines in my head back at them. 00:43:16.239 --> 00:43:20.719 I have the sharpest, most beautiful, most perfect lines for them. 00:43:22.480 --> 00:43:25.280 I can explain their entire personality. 00:43:27.039 --> 00:43:31.360 And by midnight, I've created a full documentary series. 00:43:34.239 --> 00:43:35.920 Now what happened? 00:43:36.800 --> 00:43:39.440 The original event was eight seconds. 00:43:41.440 --> 00:43:49.679 This whole thing was eight seconds, and I gave it hours of DOS like attention. 00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:52.400 So I know I'm capable of doing this. 00:43:53.920 --> 00:43:56.480 That's the proof that I actually can have DOS. 00:43:58.559 --> 00:43:59.760 I know I'm capable. 00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:01.039 Of intimacy. 00:44:01.280 --> 00:44:05.039 I'm capable of taking something and making it intimate. 00:44:05.199 --> 00:44:06.639 To bring it close. 00:44:08.639 --> 00:44:13.599 To allow a thought to occupy emotional real estate. 00:44:17.199 --> 00:44:18.159 Or worry. 00:44:20.480 --> 00:44:21.360 Worry. 00:44:21.679 --> 00:44:23.679 Something might happen. 00:44:26.079 --> 00:44:27.840 There's a possibility. 00:44:29.840 --> 00:44:31.760 Your mind develops it. 00:44:32.480 --> 00:44:34.800 And all of a sudden, Bina gets involved. 00:44:34.960 --> 00:44:36.559 What if this happens? 00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:38.079 Then this would happen. 00:44:38.239 --> 00:44:39.119 Then this would happen. 00:44:39.199 --> 00:44:40.480 And we think that we're chess players. 00:44:40.559 --> 00:44:42.880 You know, we're moving five, six, ten steps ahead. 00:44:43.039 --> 00:44:48.960 And before long, you're emotionally responding to something that hasn't happened. 00:44:51.760 --> 00:44:54.400 I'm not speaking about clinical anxiety. 00:44:54.719 --> 00:44:59.039 I'm just showing you how powerful focused thought can be. 00:45:01.840 --> 00:45:03.360 Now let's reverse it. 00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:12.079 Imagine if we could give that same kind of attention to something true and life-giving. 00:45:12.559 --> 00:45:15.280 Could we rehearse gratitude like that? 00:45:16.639 --> 00:45:18.559 Could we rehearse trust? 00:45:19.760 --> 00:45:21.679 Another person's dignity. 00:45:24.320 --> 00:45:31.679 Or the thought of I don't need to win this conversation. 00:45:33.920 --> 00:45:37.039 Or emotionally responding to past events. 00:45:37.280 --> 00:45:39.519 As if they're gonna reoccur. 00:45:44.079 --> 00:45:45.360 Is it possible? 00:45:46.239 --> 00:45:47.679 Could I rehearse? 00:45:50.159 --> 00:45:51.760 God is here too. 00:45:56.400 --> 00:46:01.280 Having this realization for me was realizing that I'm already an expert in DOS. 00:46:01.840 --> 00:46:04.239 I'm just giving it to the wrong things. 00:46:12.800 --> 00:46:17.679 You may already be an expert in DOS, and the question is what receives your DOS? 00:46:22.559 --> 00:46:25.920 There's an even deeper insight if I can go one step further. 00:46:26.159 --> 00:46:28.159 The Rebbe has a beautiful insight. 00:46:30.000 --> 00:46:34.559 The Rebbe says that a key doesn't only open a door, it also closes it. 00:46:36.480 --> 00:46:47.039 In a 1974 talk, the Rebbe talks about this idea, the Zohar's idea of the key, the metaphor for Das. 00:46:49.039 --> 00:46:59.360 As a key, the Rebbe explains that the key determines when the door of the heart should open and when it should close. 00:47:00.639 --> 00:47:10.159 That Das connects understanding with the emotions so that love and restraint are each expressed in the right place. 00:47:11.199 --> 00:47:17.119 I love this because sometimes we think spiritual growth means feel more. 00:47:19.519 --> 00:47:25.039 And sometimes maturity means don't give that thought the key. 00:47:27.360 --> 00:47:30.960 Not everything deserves entrance into your heart. 00:47:31.760 --> 00:47:34.559 Every insult does not need six hours. 00:47:36.559 --> 00:47:40.000 Every headline does not need your nervous system. 00:47:40.079 --> 00:47:46.400 Every stranger's opinion doesn't deserve residency inside you. 00:47:47.280 --> 00:47:50.559 Every advertisement doesn't deserve your desire. 00:47:52.559 --> 00:47:56.159 Every notification doesn't deserve your soul. 00:47:56.559 --> 00:48:05.119 So Das is not just the ability to focus, it's the maturity to ask what deserves my focused attention? 00:48:05.440 --> 00:48:08.320 What deserves my focused attachment? 00:48:12.719 --> 00:48:18.000 Now I want to address something that came up here in the comments. 00:48:21.679 --> 00:48:31.440 Someone said, maybe they heard this, and I and I understand how you can hear this and say, oh, so Das means I need to feel the idea intensely. 00:48:31.920 --> 00:48:34.000 No, not necessarily. 00:48:35.360 --> 00:48:39.920 Some of us are emotionally expressive, and some of us are sensitive souls. 00:48:40.559 --> 00:48:43.599 Some of us feel everything, everything. 00:48:46.159 --> 00:48:53.039 You hear one beautiful melody, a nigun, and suddenly you're already moving to Tsvat. 00:48:56.239 --> 00:49:00.079 And others are sitting here thinking, okay, that was a nice melody. 00:49:00.320 --> 00:49:01.119 That was nice. 00:49:01.360 --> 00:49:01.760 Good. 00:49:01.920 --> 00:49:02.880 This is good. 00:49:05.679 --> 00:49:08.719 Does that mean that one person has das and the other one doesn't? 00:49:08.960 --> 00:49:09.280 No.

00:49:10.800 --> 00:49:15.119 It's a beautiful idea in chapter 16 of Tanya. 00:49:16.000 --> 00:49:26.320 And he says there that a person's contemplation may not produce this, what he calls a dramatic or fiery emotion in the heart. 00:49:26.800 --> 00:49:35.039 Yet the understanding can still be sufficiently internalized to guide real behavior. 00:49:36.719 --> 00:49:49.679 Rabbi Schneer Zamun explicitly says that lack of overt emotional, I'm going to say in lack of a better word, emotional fireworks doesn't necessarily mean the meditation failed. 00:49:51.119 --> 00:49:53.280 I'll tell you why I think this is important. 00:49:55.119 --> 00:49:58.320 Because spirituality can become another performance. 00:50:00.400 --> 00:50:09.519 One of the things that I am constantly checking within myself is am I being performative? 00:50:10.079 --> 00:50:12.320 Am I being disassociated? 00:50:12.559 --> 00:50:20.639 Very often, if you're someone who has to speak publicly or output, it's very hard. 00:50:20.800 --> 00:50:23.840 There's a lot of emotions around public speaking. 00:50:24.719 --> 00:50:30.000 And so the easiest thing is to kind of become disassociated and become performative. 00:50:31.280 --> 00:50:36.960 There's also another part of the performance where I feel that level of perfection. 00:50:38.079 --> 00:50:42.880 Spirituality can have that same performance when it's perfection. 00:50:43.360 --> 00:50:44.559 Did I feel it? 00:50:44.880 --> 00:50:46.000 Was I inspired? 00:50:46.159 --> 00:50:46.800 Did I cry? 00:50:46.880 --> 00:50:48.159 Did I get goosebumps? 00:50:48.480 --> 00:50:53.440 Goosebumps are lovely, but they're not one of the 613 Commandments. 00:50:55.760 --> 00:50:57.840 Emotion is beautiful. 00:51:00.719 --> 00:51:03.519 But but das is deeper than mood. 00:51:13.519 --> 00:51:16.079 I think about some of the deepest love. 00:51:16.400 --> 00:51:18.000 Some of the deepest love in life. 00:51:18.159 --> 00:51:19.119 What does it look like? 00:51:19.280 --> 00:51:20.800 It's not dramatic. 00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:27.039 A parent wakes up to a crying child at two o'clock in the morning. 00:51:28.000 --> 00:51:31.119 There's no beautiful music, cue the music. 00:51:31.360 --> 00:51:32.559 There's no speech. 00:51:32.800 --> 00:51:33.760 There's no drama. 00:51:33.840 --> 00:51:34.960 There's no inspiration. 00:51:35.039 --> 00:51:36.239 The child is sick. 00:51:36.480 --> 00:51:37.840 The parent gets up. 00:51:38.159 --> 00:51:38.639 Why? 00:51:38.880 --> 00:51:39.920 What do you mean why? 00:51:40.079 --> 00:51:41.119 No one's asking why. 00:51:41.199 --> 00:51:42.480 This is my child. 00:51:42.719 --> 00:51:44.000 This is reality. 00:51:44.639 --> 00:51:50.480 You don't need to spend three minutes reestablishing your philosophical commitment to parenthood. 00:51:51.599 --> 00:51:52.800 You move. 00:51:53.199 --> 00:52:01.519 And the relationship has become part of how you operate. 00:52:03.599 --> 00:52:06.639 A person cares for a partner that's struggling. 00:52:07.119 --> 00:52:09.440 Showing up for an aging parent. 00:52:12.400 --> 00:52:19.519 Giving charity, giving sadaka, closing the store for Shabbat, saying Shema. 00:52:22.000 --> 00:52:26.719 Some days there's an enormous feeling, and other days it's just a typical Wednesday. 00:52:28.320 --> 00:52:30.079 And they still show up. 00:52:30.800 --> 00:52:35.280 And I don't think we should underestimate that. 00:52:35.679 --> 00:52:39.519 And it may reflect something extremely deep. 00:52:41.280 --> 00:52:48.159 I'll try to give you an example using athletic training. 00:52:51.920 --> 00:52:56.400 At first, an action requires conscious effort. 00:52:57.039 --> 00:53:04.320 But for those who have done any athletic training, they know that after sustained training, it can become deeply embedded. 00:53:09.760 --> 00:53:14.880 So what am I trying to say? 00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:27.360 I think durable resolve should not be confused with a cold egoistic stubbornness. 00:53:28.719 --> 00:53:40.559 That genuine internalization grows through repeated connection, not by not by bypassing the earlier work. 00:53:40.639 --> 00:53:44.000 You can get muscle memory without training. 00:53:44.559 --> 00:53:47.119 Sorry, you can't get muscle memory without training. 00:53:47.360 --> 00:53:51.760 You can't get spiritual muscle memory without returning to the truth. 00:53:51.920 --> 00:53:59.599 And this is why I said that Das is staying with the truth long enough that eventually the truth stays with you. 00:54:04.159 --> 00:54:05.519 Think about Yom Kippur. 00:54:05.760 --> 00:54:07.760 A lot of people have these moments in Yom Kippur. 00:54:08.000 --> 00:54:16.000 The room is full, the melodies are beautiful, the machzor is open, you're fasting, nobody's asking you to respond to an email at this moment. 00:54:16.559 --> 00:54:19.119 You feel connected, and you have a moment. 00:54:19.199 --> 00:54:20.159 I had a moment this year. 00:54:20.320 --> 00:54:22.159 I said, this year is going to be different. 00:54:22.320 --> 00:54:24.639 And I meant it completely. 00:54:25.840 --> 00:54:28.079 And comes a random Wednesday in November. 00:54:28.159 --> 00:54:30.639 There's no shofar, there's no konidre. 00:54:31.519 --> 00:54:36.559 You slept badly, you're late, someone irritates you. 00:54:36.639 --> 00:54:38.400 And what happens next? 00:54:39.199 --> 00:54:40.480 That's the test. 00:54:41.440 --> 00:54:46.320 And it's not because I didn't mean it in Anyom Kippur, I meant it with my whole heart. 00:54:49.119 --> 00:54:50.880 The inspiration was real. 00:54:51.440 --> 00:54:54.159 But the inspiration is chachma-like. 00:54:54.559 --> 00:54:59.760 The understanding what it means, that may be Bina. 00:55:00.400 --> 00:55:04.079 But Dask is asking something much more profound. 00:55:04.719 --> 00:55:08.800 Can I keep this truth alive when the atmosphere is gone? 00:55:09.039 --> 00:55:10.960 When I leave the retreat. 00:55:17.599 -->

00:55:19.119 The wedding was beautiful. 00:55:19.360 --> 00:55:20.800 The wedding was real. 00:55:21.760 --> 00:55:26.960 But marriage is what happens Wednesday morning when somebody forgot to take out the garbage. 00:55:29.679 --> 00:55:32.639 The chuppa will give you an extraordinary moment. 00:55:34.079 --> 00:55:36.159 The marriage gives that moment a life. 00:55:36.320 --> 00:55:36.960 That is Das. 00:55:40.559 --> 00:55:43.840 So I want to give you something practical. 00:55:46.960 --> 00:55:51.760 I can't, especially a class on Das cannot stay theoretical. 00:55:52.800 --> 00:55:54.719 I'm going to give you a practical exercise. 00:55:54.880 --> 00:55:57.760 I've been working on this this week. 00:55:58.000 --> 00:56:01.199 I'm not very good at it yet, but I'm working on it. 00:56:01.679 --> 00:56:04.719 So I'm maybe a half a step ahead of you. 00:56:06.079 --> 00:56:15.679 The previous Rebbe in 1944, 5704, has a beautiful discourse. 00:56:17.039 --> 00:56:20.880 And he explains that there's a multi-stage process of Das. 00:56:21.920 --> 00:56:41.440 It's beginning with connection, then moving through felt recognition and a settled conviction, gaining firmness and vitality, then reaching an emotional response and ultimately producing a durable resolve. 00:56:41.519 --> 00:56:42.719 Don't worry, you don't have to remember this. 00:56:42.800 --> 00:56:44.400 I have it simplified. 00:56:46.880 --> 00:56:49.599 So I want to translate the journey into ordinary life. 00:56:49.679 --> 00:56:54.480 I've been working on this, it's still a work in progress, but I see it as four stages. 00:56:55.840 --> 00:57:00.559 Stay, bring it close, let it matter, let it last. 00:57:00.719 --> 00:57:03.599 I put this in your workbook, the worksheet. 00:57:03.760 --> 00:57:04.480 That's it. 00:57:04.639 --> 00:57:07.760 So stay, bring it close, let it matter, let it last. 00:57:08.079 --> 00:57:09.039 Let's walk through them. 00:57:09.199 --> 00:57:10.960 So the first step is stay. 00:57:11.519 --> 00:57:13.440 Stay means like this. 00:57:14.320 --> 00:57:16.159 You learn something true. 00:57:17.519 --> 00:57:19.519 Don't immediately move on. 00:57:21.360 --> 00:57:25.599 We live in an age of extraordinary access to ideas. 00:57:27.199 --> 00:57:28.639 We can multitask. 00:57:28.719 --> 00:57:36.239 We can listen to a class while answering messages, while ordering the groceries, while checking the weather, and reading about a celebrity that we didn't know existed five minutes ago. 00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:38.719 Information is everywhere. 00:57:38.960 --> 00:57:40.559 DAS is scarce. 00:57:40.880 --> 00:57:43.199 Because DAS requires staying. 00:57:43.599 --> 00:57:45.840 Bind, fix, persist. 00:57:48.400 --> 00:57:51.920 Don't let the idea disappear before I had time to meet you. 00:57:55.599 --> 00:57:57.599 Let's say the truth is. 00:58:07.519 --> 00:58:09.039 What would that mean? 00:58:09.840 --> 00:58:11.280 What is true? 00:58:12.800 --> 00:58:14.719 What do

I normally forget? 00:58:17.280 --> 00:58:19.760 What happens to me when I forget it? 00:58:21.360 --> 00:58:24.880 What would today look like if I actually remembered it? 00:58:26.400 --> 00:58:30.159 So we're no longer collecting the idea, we're letting the idea work. 00:58:30.320 --> 00:58:31.760 Or stay, stay. 00:58:32.079 --> 00:58:33.280 Stay with it. 00:58:34.239 --> 00:58:35.920 Then bring it close. 00:58:36.239 --> 00:58:41.840 And I think bring it close is where Das differs from abstract philosophy. 00:58:43.440 --> 00:58:47.679 Because the question is, what does this mean about me? 00:58:49.679 --> 00:58:51.039 Not about humanity. 00:58:51.199 --> 00:58:54.480 We're very good at humanity or everyone else's problems. 00:58:54.800 --> 00:58:58.239 I can help so many people, but can I help myself? 00:58:58.800 --> 00:59:02.400 Can I turn that idea myself? 00:59:03.519 --> 00:59:07.679 Somebody called me yesterday and asked me for advice. 00:59:09.280 --> 00:59:11.920 And I said, What would you tell someone else? 00:59:13.519 --> 00:59:17.679 And they said, Well, I don't want to know what I would tell someone else. 00:59:17.760 --> 00:59:18.400 I want to know for me. 00:59:18.480 --> 00:59:19.519 I said, What would you tell someone else? 00:59:19.599 --> 00:59:20.559 And they give me the whole explanation. 00:59:20.639 --> 00:59:22.159 I said, Good, now turn it on yourself. 00:59:22.320 --> 00:59:24.320 It's hard for you to see it within yourself. 00:59:24.480 --> 00:59:29.119 So look at it in someone else, and then you'll know what to tell yourself. 00:59:34.400 --> 00:59:38.000 We have the remarkable ability to help other people. 00:59:40.079 --> 00:59:47.360 You hear a teaching, and I immediately think, oh my gosh, I know someone who desperately needs this class. 00:59:48.320 --> 00:59:49.280 Maybe. 00:59:52.880 --> 00:59:53.519 Maybe. 00:59:53.760 --> 00:59:59.519 But maybe God accidentally sent you this class. 01:00:01.280 --> 01:00:03.679 And Das says, Bring it home. 01:00:04.079 --> 01:00:11.519 Let's use the beautiful question that was sent to me a few weeks ago that I still think about. 01:00:13.360 --> 01:00:16.480 Gina asked me, What does God want? 01:00:19.519 --> 01:00:26.559 She said that for her, simply asking that question was already bringing calm and clarity to her life. 01:00:26.800 --> 01:00:29.360 Now, Das is going to take that one step further. 01:00:29.519 --> 01:00:30.639 What does God want? 01:00:30.880 --> 01:00:35.039 Then what does that mean for me in the next five minutes? 01:00:35.840 --> 01:00:36.159 Right? 01:00:36.559 --> 01:00:41.199 We sometimes put macro things on micro things, micro things on macro things. 01:00:42.079 --> 01:00:44.480 It's not what does God want from humanity? 01:00:44.639 --> 01:00:45.519 It's beautiful. 01:00:45.679 --> 01:00:46.639 It's beautiful. 01:00:46.800 --> 01:00:48.000 That's big issues. 01:00:48.159 --> 01:00:49.760 What does God want from humanity? 01:00:49.920 --> 01:00:52.000 It's what does God want from me? 01:00:54.320 --> 01:00:57.360 It's not what does God want from my partner? 01:00:57.519 --> 01:01:00.239 I know we can all talk about what God wants from my partner. 01:01:02.800 --> 01:01:05.920 What does God want from me here, now? 01:01:06.639 --> 01:01:07.519 Bringing it close. 01:01:07.599 --> 01:01:08.400 That's bringing it close. 01:01:08.480 --> 01:01:10.000 So stay, bring it close. 01:01:10.159 --> 01:01:11.280 Now let it matter. 01:01:11.440 --> 01:01:12.960 What does let it matter? 01:01:14.079 --> 01:01:19.760 What would I feel differently if this was the true me, if it was truly real? 01:01:22.239 --> 01:01:24.639 It's not a demanding emotion. 01:01:25.280 --> 01:01:27.280 Can't manufacture feelings. 01:01:29.199 --> 01:01:33.280 But we can make space for emotional implication. 01:01:34.480 --> 01:01:47.679 Suppose the truth is, this person, I'm saying this person, whatever person, maybe the person who upset me, is made in the image of God. 01:01:47.760 --> 01:01:48.880 It's true. 01:01:51.199 --> 01:01:55.199 Now, if that became real right now, what would happen to my tone? 01:01:55.440 --> 01:01:57.039 Would I still disagree? 01:01:57.840 --> 01:01:59.360 Would I still say no? 01:02:02.880 --> 01:02:05.519 Maybe I'd still enforce the boundary. 01:02:07.440 --> 01:02:10.880 But contempt would become harder. 01:02:11.519 --> 01:02:22.239 Or let's say the truth is my child is not giving me a hard time, my child may be having a hard time. 01:02:25.760 --> 01:02:28.000 Now that may become real. 01:02:28.800 --> 01:02:31.440 When I say that, does the frustration disappear? 01:02:31.679 --> 01:02:32.639 Maybe not. 01:02:32.960 --> 01:02:36.239 But maybe compassion comes. 01:02:37.840 --> 01:02:41.440 Or I can't control tomorrow. 01:02:42.559 --> 01:02:46.480 And if that becomes real for me, then maybe the heart can loosen a little. 01:02:48.079 --> 01:02:52.480 Or my body is a gift I'm responsible for. 01:02:54.239 --> 01:02:59.440 So maybe I make the appointments, maybe I go to sleep, maybe I eat lunch. 01:02:59.920 --> 01:03:02.719 Instead of pretending that coffee's a food group. 01:03:07.599 --> 01:03:10.800 Truth begins producing emotion and behavior. 01:03:16.079 --> 01:03:18.239 Then number four, let it last. 01:03:19.280 --> 01:03:20.079 Let it last. 01:03:20.239 --> 01:03:22.320 Return tomorrow, then again. 01:03:23.199 --> 01:03:26.079 I have this desire to chase novelty. 01:03:26.159 --> 01:03:27.280 I always want something new. 01:03:27.440 --> 01:03:28.639 Give me a new idea. 01:03:28.800 --> 01:03:30.239 I love new ideas. 01:03:31.679 --> 01:03:38.000 And I think this may be the most counter-cultural thing that Kabawa asks of us. 01:03:38.559 --> 01:03:41.360 Because I love, I love something novel. 01:03:41.599 --> 01:03:45.360 The next class, the next book, the next technique. 01:03:47.440 --> 01:03:48.320 There's this idea. 01:03:48.719 --> 01:03:51.360 I have this goal, I'm

gonna finish a book a week. 01:03:53.039 --> 01:03:55.599 Always looking, what's the next big thing? 01:03:57.360 --> 01:04:04.880 And sometimes growth means stop learning something new for five minutes and live with the thing you already know. 01:04:08.960 --> 01:04:12.079 We spoke about this in lesson 16, the 101st time. 01:04:13.280 --> 01:04:17.679 We said that growth often happens just beyond the habit. 01:04:17.920 --> 01:04:20.559 Here's another way to understand the 101. 01:04:20.880 --> 01:04:27.119 Maybe the first hundred times you hear a truth, you're you're you're learning it. 01:04:27.199 --> 01:04:29.840 And then one day, what is 101? 01:04:29.920 --> 01:04:31.920 Is the day you start living it. 01:04:33.440 --> 01:04:34.480 It's not magic. 01:04:34.639 --> 01:04:46.000 It's through repetition, it's through returning, it's through applying, it's through remembering, it's through failing over and over again, and then returning again and trying again. 01:04:46.159 --> 01:04:47.199 That's DOS. 01:04:49.519 --> 01:04:55.039 So let's take this idea and I want to apply it to a couple of ordinary situations. 01:04:55.440 --> 01:05:00.000 So I want to see if we can actually create this application. 01:05:01.840 --> 01:05:04.320 Let's try a difficult text message. 01:05:05.440 --> 01:05:12.639 Someone sends you something upsetting, and immediately your body reacts. 01:05:13.920 --> 01:05:23.280 In our words, your animal soul is fully online, and it's drafting a response, an excellent response. 01:05:23.599 --> 01:05:27.440 Devastating, biblically devastating. 01:05:27.760 --> 01:05:29.119 You already know. 01:05:30.000 --> 01:05:32.239 I don't respond when I'm angry. 01:05:33.440 --> 01:05:34.800 That's information. 01:05:35.199 --> 01:05:37.840 Now Bina is going to give you the reasons. 01:05:38.079 --> 01:05:39.920 I won't communicate clearly. 01:05:40.159 --> 01:05:41.199 I may regret it. 01:05:41.360 --> 01:05:42.960 It's going to escalate the situation. 01:05:43.119 --> 01:05:43.679 Wonderful. 01:05:43.920 --> 01:05:45.119 Still not enough. 01:05:45.360 --> 01:05:46.719 What is Dasay? 01:05:47.360 --> 01:05:48.800 Stay with the truth. 01:05:49.119 --> 01:05:52.320 My goal is not to discharge my anger. 01:05:52.480 --> 01:05:58.480 My goal is to spawn it's to respond in a way that I can respect tomorrow. 01:06:00.960 --> 01:06:02.159 Bring it close. 01:06:02.400 --> 01:06:04.320 This is my relationship. 01:06:05.599 --> 01:06:06.960 Let it matter. 01:06:08.400 --> 01:06:10.480 What would dignity sound like? 01:06:11.519 --> 01:06:12.320 Then action. 01:06:12.480 --> 01:06:13.519 I put down the phone. 01:06:13.760 --> 01:06:16.639 Twenty minutes, an hour, tomorrow. 01:06:17.280 --> 01:06:19.360 Das reached my fingers. 01:06:22.079 --> 01:06:24.320 Let's talk about a relationship. 01:06:26.320 --> 01:06:27.519 You love your partner. 01:06:27.760 --> 01:06:28.719 You know this. 01:06:29.440 --> 01:06:30.960 You chose this person. 01:06:31.360 --> 01:06:33.119 You've built a life. 01:06:33.599 --> 01:06:38.480 But in the middle of an argument, all of that can disappear. 01:06:39.599 --> 01:06:42.880 The only reality right now is they are wrong. 01:06:43.199 --> 01:06:44.000 Wrong. 01:06:45.280 --> 01:06:49.039 Now, I invite you to imagine one truth. 01:06:49.519 --> 01:06:52.239 The truth is, this is not my opponent. 01:06:52.559 --> 01:06:55.920 This is the person I am building a life with. 01:06:58.079 --> 01:07:00.480 Now I know this is not any magical spell. 01:07:01.599 --> 01:07:03.119 It doesn't mean they're right. 01:07:04.239 --> 01:07:06.320 It doesn't mean that there aren't issues. 01:07:06.480 --> 01:07:08.719 Maybe there's even serious issues. 01:07:10.559 --> 01:07:24.960 But if you give that truth das, stay with it, bring it close, let it become real, then what happens is the tone changes. 01:07:26.400 --> 01:07:33.199 The question changes from how do I win to what are we trying to protect here? 01:07:33.440 --> 01:07:34.079 That's Das. 01:07:35.599 --> 01:07:44.079 The problem may still remain, but now you're solving the problem with your partner rather than solving your partner. 01:07:49.119 --> 01:07:52.800 Let's talk about a hard one for a lot of us in this class. 01:07:53.119 --> 01:07:53.920 Worry. 01:07:56.800 --> 01:07:59.119 Something uncertain is happening. 01:08:00.639 --> 01:08:02.480 You don't know the outcome. 01:08:02.960 --> 01:08:04.559 What does the mind starts saying? 01:08:04.719 --> 01:08:06.000 What if, what if? 01:08:06.880 --> 01:08:08.400 Bina, it's beautiful. 01:08:08.559 --> 01:08:09.840 Talented Bina. 01:08:10.559 --> 01:08:18.800 Scenario A, scenario B, scenario C, scenario D, 2 AM, we're at scenario Q. 01:08:22.319 --> 01:08:24.239 I know you know what I'm talking about. 01:08:26.560 --> 01:08:29.039 And then Das comes in. 01:08:29.600 --> 01:08:32.079 What does Das want in this moment? 01:08:33.359 --> 01:08:36.720 It's not to say nothing bad is gonna happen. 01:08:36.800 --> 01:08:38.960 Well, that's not gonna help anything. 01:08:39.119 --> 01:08:43.359 Life is real, pain is real, uncertainty is real. 01:08:44.720 --> 01:08:50.319 Das is gonna say, what truth can I attach myself to without lying to myself? 01:08:51.600 --> 01:08:53.520 So maybe it's like this. 01:08:54.159 --> 01:08:56.560 I don't know what will happen. 01:08:58.319 --> 01:09:03.680 I do know that I don't have to live tomorrow before it arrives. 01:09:08.800 --> 01:09:15.039 Or my God will be with me inside whatever I have to face. 01:09:18.319 --> 01:09:20.239 I don't know the outcome. 01:09:22.640 --> 01:09:30.000 But I do know that I'm not gonna face a reality outside of my God. 01:09:31.760 --> 01:09:33.119 And then stay there. 01:09:34.079 --> 01:09:34.960 Breathe. 01:09:36.640 --> 01:09:37.439 Return. 01:09:41.279 --> 01:09:45.520 And then ask what is actually mine to do today. 01:09:46.239 --> 01:09:48.239 Do I have to call a doctor? 01:09:49.119 -->

01:09:51.279 Do I have to speak to an accountant? 01:09:53.039 --> 01:09:55.359 Do I have to ask for help? 01:09:56.640 --> 01:10:01.359 And then the hardest part, I think, stop rehearsing tomorrow. 01:10:02.960 --> 01:10:04.239 It's not denial. 01:10:04.399 --> 01:10:05.760 It's disciplined at das. 01:10:12.079 --> 01:10:13.520 I'll try one more. 01:10:15.680 --> 01:10:16.800 Self-worth. 01:10:19.199 --> 01:10:20.560 Self-esteem. 01:10:22.800 --> 01:10:26.640 Maybe you know that your worth is intrinsic. 01:10:26.800 --> 01:10:27.359 You know it. 01:10:27.520 --> 01:10:28.720 You've heard it. 01:10:29.840 --> 01:10:31.439 People have told you. 01:10:32.479 --> 01:10:35.600 All of a sudden, someone rejects you. 01:10:37.279 --> 01:10:45.760 And suddenly, everything everyone else said, this person's opinion becomes the Supreme Court. 01:10:48.159 --> 01:10:50.319 So what is Dawson ask? 01:10:51.760 --> 01:10:58.079 What truth do I want to make more real than this rejection? 01:10:59.680 --> 01:11:01.520 Maybe this hurts. 01:11:03.039 --> 01:11:04.000 This hurts. 01:11:04.319 --> 01:11:05.760 It's hurting me. 01:11:06.319 --> 01:11:10.560 And this person's no does not define my value. 01:11:13.199 --> 01:11:14.560 Notice both. 01:11:14.880 --> 01:11:15.840 This hurts. 01:11:16.399 --> 01:11:19.760 We're not using spirituality to bypass humanity. 01:11:19.920 --> 01:11:20.640 We have feelings. 01:11:20.800 --> 01:11:21.920 Feelings are real. 01:11:22.800 --> 01:11:25.359 And it doesn't define me. 01:11:29.920 --> 01:11:31.920 You can stay with both truths. 01:11:36.000 --> 01:11:36.720 And that's Das. 01:11:42.479 --> 01:11:48.960 In the uh worksheet I have some other exercises that you can use. 01:11:52.880 --> 01:11:57.680 But I'd like to just close our lesson for today. 01:12:01.199 --> 01:12:07.039 We've spent the past few weeks talking about the mind. 01:12:09.520 --> 01:12:13.520 Maybe today we understand and feel a little more about why. 01:12:17.359 --> 01:12:25.680 I don't want you to think coming out of this that thinking is impressive. 01:12:27.680 --> 01:12:39.439 What I love as a Bahrain, as a and therefore, is that we think because what becomes real in our minds eventually shapes our heart. 01:12:39.920 --> 01:12:44.319 And what shapes our heart eventually shapes our life. 01:12:54.960 --> 01:12:58.399 Bina, can I understand this truth? 01:12:58.640 --> 01:13:03.439 And Das, can I stay with this truth until it changes how I live? 01:13:03.600 --> 01:13:05.279 And that's the journey. 01:13:06.399 --> 01:13:10.960 And I love, for me, at least in my life, how compassionate it is. 01:13:11.359 --> 01:13:13.920 That you don't need a hundred new truths. 01:13:14.640 --> 01:13:17.680 Maybe you just need one truth and giving it more Das. 01:13:20.960 --> 01:13:26.399 You may already know enough to transform one part of your life. 01:13:27.199 --> 01:13:29.279 You may not need another idea. 01:13:29.520 --> 01:13:33.439 Maybe just taking an idea

and sitting with what you have. 01:13:34.960 --> 01:13:59.760 Maybe you know that you're loved, or that you need a boundary, or that you need to forgive, or you need to apologize, or that you need help, or that you can't control your adult child, or that your worth is not measured by achievement, or that God hasn't left you. 01:14:01.920 --> 01:14:02.880 You know it. 01:14:03.279 --> 01:14:05.680 And it's not about what do I know? 01:14:06.000 --> 01:14:11.920 It's about what would happen if I stayed with what I know. 01:14:13.439 --> 01:14:16.560 So I want to leave you today with one question. 01:14:21.119 --> 01:14:31.359 I want to invite you to ask yourself, what truth do I already know that I'm ready to make more real? 01:14:33.600 --> 01:14:35.039 And write it down. 01:14:35.840 --> 01:14:36.880 And give it a week. 01:14:37.279 --> 01:14:38.720 Not a life, just a week. 01:14:38.880 --> 01:14:41.840 Say for the next week, I'm gonna sit with this. 01:14:42.000 --> 01:14:52.800 I'll put it on my mirror, I'll put it on my phone home screen, I'm gonna look at it, stay with it, try to see if I can spend more time on it. 01:14:53.600 --> 01:14:54.800 Bring it close. 01:14:55.039 --> 01:15:00.000 Stay with it, bring it close, let it matter, let it act, return. 01:15:01.920 --> 01:15:12.800 And then when next Tuesday comes, which is almost a week from now, I think especially when next Tuesday comes, we can see whether the truth comes with you. 01:15:17.760 --> 01:15:22.880 We can see if if if if it marinated, if something happened. 01:15:23.119 --> 01:15:25.199 And I know there's an idea to be perfect. 01:15:25.359 --> 01:15:32.800 You may still get angry, you may not remember before you speak, but the idea is let the Das grow. 01:15:33.279 --> 01:15:38.479 You may still worry, we're not gonna take and make an end to anxiety in a minute. 01:15:38.720 --> 01:15:41.600 But maybe you'll find your footing a little faster. 01:15:41.840 --> 01:15:44.079 And that's das growing. 01:15:44.800 --> 01:15:49.600 Maybe you still want approval, but you don't abandon yourself to get it. 01:15:50.960 --> 01:15:52.800 That's das growing. 01:15:58.319 --> 01:16:02.720 I want to end with a blessing, as I always do. 01:16:06.640 --> 01:16:11.600 I know how difficult these ideas are to put into practice. 01:16:13.600 --> 01:16:20.960 So I don't I'm no expert in this, not even close. 01:16:21.760 --> 01:16:28.560 Maybe I'm a tiny, tiny bit have worked through and marinated on this a little longer than you. 01:16:31.279 --> 01:16:33.680 I still make mistakes, lots of mistakes. 01:16:33.920 --> 01:16:35.680 Mistakes I have to own up to. 01:16:37.920 --> 01:16:47.520 So my blessing for all of us is may Hashem, may God bless us not just with more information, but with Das. 01:16:49.840 --> 01:16:53.680 May the truths that we learn become truths that we live. 01:16:55.840 --> 01:17:00.239 May our Chachmah be open enough to receive what is new. 01:17:00.479 --> 01:17:03.760 May our Bina be patient enough to understand it. 01:17:04.319 --> 01:17:07.760 And may our Das be strong enough to bring it home. 01:17:09.039 --> 01:17:15.119 May these beautiful ideas not remain in this recording. 01:17:16.880 --> 01:17:26.319 But may they enter our lives, our kitchens, our cars, our offices, our conversations. 01:17:26.800 --> 01:17:37.199 May they enter our fears, our choices, our relationships, our relationships with our own bodies, our relationships with ourselves. 01:17:38.079 --> 01:17:44.399 May we have the wisdom to know what deserves our attention and what does not. 01:17:45.760 --> 01:17:52.640 May we know which doors of the heart to open and which doors to lovingly close. 01:17:54.479 --> 01:18:06.560 May we stop giving endless das to every insult, to every fear, to every imagined catastrophe, to every person's opinion. 01:18:07.680 --> 01:18:24.560 And may we begin giving das to what actually is true, to God, to purpose, to love, to dignity, to the preciousness of another soul, to the sacredness of our own soul. 01:18:26.479 --> 01:18:35.840 And may every one of us discover that we are capable of more inner change than we thought. 01:18:40.560 --> 01:19:11.760 And may that truth reach our minds, our hearts, may it reach our words, our hands, our feet, may it reach our homes, and through each of us, may it illuminate every beautiful corner of this world until the great truth that has always been true becomes the reality that everyone can see. 01:19:12.399 --> 01:19:37.039 There's really nothing in this world that's outside of God, that every person and every moment has a design, has a purpose, and that this physical world itself can become the home that Hashem that God desired, a Dir Batakhtonim, a home for God in this world, and may it be speedily, visibly, with goodness, with healing, with peace, with joy. 01:19:39.680 --> 01:19:43.279 Thank you for for spending this time with me today. 01:19:44.479 --> 01:19:57.279 And have a beautiful week, a beautiful Shabbat, and look forward to meeting again soon and getting into into the emotions.