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Jake: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome back to Jake and Pete's movie talk, movie talk roundtable, the podcast about friends from all over the world getting together to talk about the movies they love. Put your sheets to the wind and get your spyglass ready because this week we're going over Master and Commander from the year 2003, directed by Peter Weir, starring Russell Crowe, Paul Bettney, and Billy Fucking Boyd for some reason. With me as always to talk about this picture is the Rule Britannia Sea Captain himself, Mr. Pete. Pete, how you doing this week?
Pete: Captain. I'm not sure about captain. I'd be more like Roger n Roger the Cabin Boy, I think, rather than the captain. But I'm doing good.
Jake: A midshipman, huh?
Pete: How are you doing?
Jake: doing great. Doing great. especially because, like I said, movie talk roundtable with us this week to talk about Master and Commander. One of his favorite pictures is the Lieutenant Prince. Prince, welcome back to the program, my guy.
Prince: Pleasure to be back. excited, especially for this one.
Jake: Nice, nice. Yeah. So this was on the list that you sent over of some of your favorite movies of all time. and I know Pete was chomping at the bit to get into this one, but Prince, could you just walk us through your experience with Master and Commander, your relationship with it?
Prince: Certainly. Well, several reasons I think this film works great. One, it's a very accurate depiction of life aboard a Royal Navy ship at the turn of the eighteenth century. secondly I think there's a lot of themes in this movie that we can talk about, you know, whether that's tradition versus modernity or colonialism. camaraderie. There there's a lot of things we can talk about. And third
Jake: Which is
Prince: sailors' gaze, right? So but third, I think this film is very personal for me in that you know, wh whenever you whenever I feel overwhelmed by things going on, I always, you know, come back to this film. And th there's that very comforting sense of isolation, but yet you're not alone. So, you know, when when when you watch this film All these guys are miles, thousands of miles away from home, in the middle of the ocean. but yet they feel bonded by, you know, camaraderie, brotherhood with the crew and with the men. And as Nelson put it, you know, the seal of king and country kept them warm. So I I think there's that sense of comfort every time I watch this film and and it it it's a really good feeling for me.
Jake: Nice, nice. That's that's awesome.
Pete: Do you feel, Prince, that you would like to be of that time period? You would have liked to have lived in that time period and have been on that ship kind of thing? Is that w is that where you see yourself if you'd have been alive at that time?
Prince: Exactly, yeah. I'm sure in reality it would be it would be brutal. I'm just thinking about hygiene and yeah, no woman, of course. So that that's that's a big problem. But yes, thinking just imagining myself being in
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that time period, being on on aboard the HMA surprise, full of adventures, going in parts unknown. It's I you know, I would I would not skip a heartbeat to go back in time.
Jake: Nice. What would you want to do on the ship, Prince? Would you be the surgeon? Would you be the naturalist? Would you wanna be the captain? Would you wanna be a midshipman, Lieutenant? What what or just one of the the senseless rabble executing the daily the daily tasks? Where do you see yourself fitting in on this on on the on the surprise?
Prince: Well can I ask you that question first? You or Pete? I'm just gonna have to think about it first. Interesting one.
Jake: Sure, yeah. I would probably want to do the the first lieutenant role. I wouldn't want to be captain, but I'd certainly be the guy that, you know, wears the the hat pointed forward and not I I don't want to look like Captain Crunch, just the guy that's got the the hat that's
Prince: Mr. Pullings, right?
Jake: Yeah, Miss Tom Pullings. Yeah, that that's that's the guy I'd be into. Either that or Billy Boyd's character, the the the Coxwain. I feel like I I'd I'd be a really good Coxwain. You know, I'd spit in my palms Grab it with both hands. Really steer the ship. get get get firm control of that rudder, if you know what I mean.
Prince: Hmm. How about you, Pete?
Pete: I probably would be the guy who does the least work on board the ship. And I think that's identified in this movie as the doctor who does fuckle in this movie. he does a little bit of a little bit of life saving when needed, you know, in a battle. But how often are you in battle? Not very often. What does he do the rest of the time? He wanders around and looks at fucking bugs and butterflies and beetles and lizards. You know, what a what a great life. And then he plays his cello. fantastic. Love it.
Jake: There is that shot of Paul Bettney in the boat when they're when they're practicing firing their broadsides to try to get, you know, the timing right. And he's just fishing. He's just hanging out fishing the
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: back. Like, God damn it, Paul Bettney. Your life is sweet on this ship, dude. You get you get to sit with the captain, you get the best meals, you get to go out fishing whenever you feel like it. It's just what a life.
Pete: It's a rough life at sh at sea though, man. it's i I I wouldn't honestly I wouldn't wish the s the seafaring life on of that time on anybody. what have you got? You've got you're away for sometimes months or years at a time. You got scurvy, you got dystentery, you've got pirates you've got to watch out for, you've got reefs at places you don't know, you've never been to these aisles before. You got sh you know, you could shipwreck at any time in a storm. food is gonna be awful. You're given grog, you know, there's no water. You run out of water months ago. So you drink grog, which is half a pint of rum and mixed with a quart of water. So it's not you know, not good. This really is not a nice slight and
like you say, Prince, you mentioned as well, no ladies on board. No ladies allowed. Why? Because they're unlucky. That's the reason.
Jake: That's the reason? Because they're unlucky.
Prince: I think what you've just described, you know, the realities of life at sea back then, I think that just got Jake turned on. Right? You got a heart on now, right? Jake, for sure. Grog every day, you know, dysentery, all that man is up your alley.
Jake: Yeah man, that's it's just Tuesday for me, buddy.
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: I got an Algene full of grog right next to me right now. I don't want to get too far away from the discussion because I want I wanna hear Prince's Prince's position on the boat. Prince, where where do you wanna be in terms of the crew? Where where would you w where would you serve, dude?
Prince: I wouldn't want to be living below deck. So of of course I would want to be, you know, a ranking officer, a lieutenant, someone with a little bit of privilege. you know, I might sound like a prick, but look, I j I just I just hate the idea of sleeping in that smelly, damp, humid, or dark
Pete: You can imagine there's some friendly fingers down there as well in the dark in the hammock,
Prince: Think about the the smell, bro.
Jake: dude, it would smell like butt crack day in, day out. It would just be it it'd be the worst possible thing. And they're all like, the the the the English, the they're not known for their oral hygiene either. So it'd just be nothing but butthole and bad breath down there. my god.
Pete: Hold on just a second. You think I mean the English ship's bad? Think about the French fucking ship.
Jake: Lord, I'm trying not to, pal. That sounds horrible.
Prince: Okay, which which character or or three characters from from the film that looks the most English? Some of them looks like they're quarter Chinese I mean, Mr. Pullings looks like he might be quarter quarter Asian or he might have some Chinese ancestry.
Jake: That actually sounds like a position on the ship. Go speak with a quarter asian. Yeah, in terms of diversity, I'm not so sure, dude. but the one that looks most English
Pete: I'll tell you. It's the old guy. It's the old the the the old guy who's like always moaning about how bad stuff is and how people are unlucky. Yeah. And he's getting the crew rolled up, that old guy. He's the most English looking guy.
Jake: I gotcha, I gotcha. 'Cause he's got three teeth in his head and
Pete: Yeah, basically.
Jake: Just kinda looks weathered. I bet he's twenty seven years old and just looks like that.
Pete: I don't know why they kept that guy on board ship though. He's obviously just putting out bad vibes the whole time. I don't know if it was just since he got shot in the head or something. But he he was just l literally just saying, Yeah, we need to do this and this is bad news and this is unlucky and stuff. He needed to go overboard at the first opportunity, that guy.
Prince: Yeah, he's always saying stuff from the Bible as well, the devil's working in it.
Jake: Outstanding.
Pete: He can't read. There's no re there's no way that guy can read. Did you know most of these sailors can't swim as well? They never learn to swim.
Prince: Yeah, that's true.
Jake: That's that's that is yeah, it's interesting because just for the gentle listener, in preparation for this episode, I knew this was Prince's one of one of his top movies. And so to get the full spectrum of this Master and Commander, and by the way, I never said the full title of the movie. The movie is Master and Commander, The Far Side of the World, based on a novel, The Far Side of the World by Patrick O'Brien. I went back and I read the first of Patrick O'Brien's Master and Commander series in preparation for this. And Pete, to your point, there's a whole section of that book where they're talking about the sailors that don't know how to swim versus the sailors that do. The the the pros are you can you can potentially save your life if you know how to swim. The cons are if the ship goes down, you're gonna be swimming for days before you die.
Pete: Mm.
Jake: So there's a whole section where they're where they're talking about yeah, I we I I'd rather not know how to swim. That way I could just have a quick and easy death if we get a hole punched in the side of the sloop.
Pete: Yeah, I don't know. I think you want the choice, don't you? you can choose to give up if you wish, but if you can't swim, you've just got no choice. There may be an island three hundred meters away, and you're like, Fuck, I wish I wish I'd learnt how to swim from old Joe
Jake: Yeah, dude. But it it is interesting. I I I really had a good time with the book, so much so that I think I'm probably gonna pick up more of them. I think there's 20 of the books in the entire series. But yeah, there's a lot from that first book that makes it into this movie. the Far Side of the World book, I think is the tenth in the series, and it is the story of the Asheron, the hunt for the Asheron. But Fun fact for the gentle listener, the in in the novel it it takes place during the war of eighteen twelve. And the ship that they're after, I think Prince, you said it was the USS Norfolk. It's actually an American ship that they're in pursuit of in the book. Yeah.
Pete: Interesting. Yeah. Are you did you say you ri you like his prose, you like his writing style, the the author?
Jake: How do I put this? It's it's you know the only maritime book I ever really read and enjoyed was Moby Dick. The prose obviously aren't as good as Moby Dick because it you Herman Melville was just a master of prose. this is more like if John Grisham wrote a book about the ocean and ships and the British Navy. So it's it's very accessible prose. The the one gripe I do have with it is that that that first book really goes into detail on maritime terminology and the layout of the ship that they're on. And I you know, i i it it's kind of a lot to wade through initially. But once once the story starts
churning, it's pretty fun.
Prince: Yeah, I tried reading it once. I I had to give up 'cause I couldn't understand probably fifty percent of it. Vody terminology and all the technical parts.
Jake: How how did you feel about Russell Crowe playing Jack Aubrey, Captain Jack?
Prince: You seem to you were you mentioned that his performance wasn't good. please w what do you like elaborate?
Jake: Well, I thought initially when I went back to watch this movie that Russell Crowe was phoning it in for this one. it just seems like he's putting very little effort into the performance really. I don't really see him as a and we can get into this later. I see him more as a successful leader than a good leader in this movie. And evidently that was all intentional because after reading most of Cat Master and Commander, the book. I think Russell Crowe does a pretty serviceable job playing Jack Aubrey. Because Jack Aubrey's a chubby, blow hard. It's mentioned a lot that he's just he's successful based on luck mostly. so yeah, I mean I I think it kind of scans Lucky Jack, yeah. so I think his performance he gets one more notch up from phoning it in, but not by much. I just don't really I don't really get on side with it. Especially if you compare this performance to something like Maximus Decimus Aurelius. You know, his his rolling gladiator i he just knocks it out of the park. And this one I feel like we're getting we're getting J V Russell Crowe in this.
Prince: Hmm. Interesting.
Pete: Yeah, I would agree. I feel he is a little bit unconvincing as a ship's captain in this movie. I know he was well into making the movie though. I read a couple of things that he he turned up on set like, you know, two weeks prior to anybody else because he said the captain needs to make a a an example and he needs to know more about everything else. This is at their kind of initial stages of the shoot where they're learning about life on ship. Yeah, he's a he's a strange cat though, isn't he? 'Cause he he doesn't he he doesn't come across as all that convincing for me in this movie. I feel he's a bit nervous, I don't know why, but he comes across as a bit
Jake: Yeah, I I see that. But that's funny that he came two weeks early. I'm just thinking he got drunk and broke his lease on his apartment. He's like, Yeah, I'm here I'm here two weeks early, mate. Yeah, I wanna get to know the ship, but in reality he's got he's homeless.
Prince: I find that his performance was okay. I didn't see any issues with that, but the the accent was was quite a contrast to the rest of the rest
Pete: Good idea, mate.
Prince: of the Yeah, I mean it I mean for for you
Jake: Mr. Incommende.
Prince: what what what do you think of his accent? 'Cause I didn't think
Pete: Actually shrimps on the Barbie today. Beautiful weather. Yeah. I mean he he's not he's not too bad. I mean it wasn't it wasn't glaring for me that he was but he but I think this is maybe why his performance was a little bit in inhibited, perhaps,
because he he had to watch his accent when he was speaking. I don't know. Maybe it was something like that. You know you know the violin? He learned the violin himself in three months for this this role.
Prince: Exactly, yeah. Yeah.
Jake: yeah, okay.
Prince: So come on, Jake. you gotta give the man some credit. like Pete said, he came two weeks early on set just as set an example. He learned the violin within three months and he has long hair.
Jake: Russell Crowe like, I've never seen in such a small guitar.
Pete: Apparently he rejected he rejected the one that the movie makers or the producers gave to him, the violin, and he bought himself like a really expensive like old Italian one instead for nobody knows how many thousands of dollars. And that's what he played.
Jake: Paul Bettney guys, what do you think of Paul Bettney in this?
Prince: think he's the he's he he played well, I think, you know, for a very for a liberal doctor. I'm not sure how it's portrayed in the book. I think it's I think convincing. I think we can we can imagine you know, at that time period that some more radical, some more, you know, liberal views you know surfacing and I think he he played that dynamic really well with especially you know with him and And Captain Jack Aubrey, who's just very, you know, die hard traditionalist military leader. it's a it's a good contrast. I think I think he played that juxtaposition.
Jake: Yeah, I agree. I think they did a really good job of making him making them feel like an old married couple. What
Prince: Hmm.
Jake: I mean.
Prince: Yeah, th there's there's there's a lot of chemistry that you see, when they're playing the you know the the duet together, the violin and the and the cello. The doctor often asks like Is this is this a tune that you know we want to play or are you in a more harmonious mood for something else? really shows that you know these two, you know, they they need each other, you know. especially, when they they go through arguments with their different different views, politically speaking, but then in the end, you know, they choose brotherhood over bigger things.
Jake: Yeah, duty has its place, but the brotherhood between them is the priority. It's the priority. When when push p push comes to shove. But yeah. I get a real Kirk and Spock vibe from these two.
Pete: I get burnt a
Jake: You know what I mean? So you've got the the captain who's hyper aggressive, wants to fight, and then you have his confidant who's like, Well, let's take a beat and let's think this thing through different people coming from different backgrounds trying to achieve the same goal. I think it's it's it's a pretty interesting dynamic and I think they do pretty well with it in the movie. The one gripe I do have though is I watched the movie the first time before I read the book and I had no idea Paul what Paul Bettney's character's name was. No I don't think it's ever said. In the movie. They just call him Doctor
Pete: To see.
Jake: Doctor Steven, yeah. Steven.
Prince: Doctor Spock.
Jake: Steve. Can you imagine can you can you imagine if William Shatner and Leonard Nimoy were in this and it was just like you have to choose the less of two weevils.
Pete: Yeah. We'll get to the worst joke in T V in movie history shortly, I imagine.
Jake: And on yeah, if I can circle back to Russell Crowe, that's probably my biggest gripe of his performance in the movie. That whole bit of business when they're at the dinner table, he's just a fucking asshole. And his his deliveries are all over the map.
Prince: It well, it it's a mirror mirror ref reflection of you, isn't it, Jake?
Jake: Why are you being so mean today, Prince?
Pete: They they'd hold back.
Jake: He's getting me giving me a full broadside, right, in the feelings.
Pete: They're all they're all drunk though, aren't they, all the time? All the officers like for the dinners, they just get fucking hammered. Let's break out another bottle.
Prince: Well what else what else are you gonna do, right? no woman, no games to play, no podcast to record, like so yeah all they have is alcohol.
Jake: Yeah, again, mirror image of me.
Prince: Yeah, right.
Jake: Anybody catch Billy Boyd farting around this flick? Yeah.
Pete: Yeah, I was gonna mention I was gonna mention he is
Jake: Pippin.
Pete: Well, what I mean, poor guy. Two years before this he was like a main character in three huge movies. And now we see what, about two minutes in total of the guy, and he's like, you know, happy as Larry trying to steer this ship. But yeah, poor poor Billy Boyd. What why do we not see him as a big star Jake?
Jake: Billy Boyd, I think he he's been in a ton of stuff. I think he's been in a lot of things. maybe not a lot of really successful things, but he's been a working actor ever since Lord of the Rings.
Pete: Sure. Yeah, I haven't seen with much.
Jake: That's the problem I think with Billy Boyd in this is that he plays such an iconic character in Lord of the Rings that it's hard to see him as anything else. when he's the helmsman here and they're like south by southwest and you almost expect him to be like right away, Gandalf. You know, it's
Pete: Time for second breakfast.
Jake: What about second grog?
Pete: So
Prince: It's like the the the Harry Potter situation, isn't it? 'Cause you know you you associate that that actor with a with the role and with the character so much that you just can't, you know decouple. I think we should give a shout out to Lord Blakeney. I think I think he's he's a he's a great character in the film.
Jake: Yeah, the kid played by Max Perkis. Yeah, yeah. I think he's he's a good piece in the movie. He's yeah, yeah. Really interesting. talk about, you know, bouncing back. Shit. I mean he's like nine years old in this and loses his right arm and he's just like
Prince: Mm.
Jake: everything's gonna be okay.
Prince: I I I would love to have his his attitude towards life. you know, if I have my dick chopped off, you know, I would just learn
from Lord Blakeney.
Pete: Got to grin bear it, Prince.
Jake: Fantastic. Yeah. Paul Bettney leans over and says, I've not seen such a brave patient.
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: Just the Laudan I'm talking.
Pete: Yeah.
Prince: Yes.
Pete: Yeah, there was a lot of young boys on board the ship though, did you notice? Whether they're in training, I would guess to be, potential captains and lieutenants within the Royal Navy. That's probably why they put them on board. You've got to imagine that they are that they would be sort of victimized by some of the more letters characters on board on these voyages, surely?
Jake: For sure. Yeah, absolutely. In in the book, they talk about Jesus, it's it's it's deep what they get into. They talk about how if you sodomize a fellow sailor, depending on who's into what, you're either both gonna get hanged, or the pitcher or the catcher, depending on how the situation falls down. And also there they also hang someone for fucking one of the goats.
Prince: Mm.
Jake: So yeah, these guys below decks are pretty pent up for sure. And they obviously had to have
Pete: Imagine that the the thing that you're looking forward to the most probably as one of these guys that are below decks and you've got a shitty life on board is shipwrecking on some some island somewhere or some peninsula somewhere where there are some local girls, right? That's probably what you are hoping for is the best outcome in your life.
Prince: You reckon there there are a lot of homosexuals in the amongst the crews?
Jake: Who knows? I'm sure based on the fact that they had rules and regulations around this, I'm sure there was a lot of that going on at some
Prince: Mm. But did did the book say anything about the this topic? how how do sailors, you know, release their
Jake: no. the in the in the first book when Jack Commander Jack takes control of the Sophie, which is his first command, when he gets out of the boat for the first time, there are women that they just have been keeping on the boat, ladies of the night, as it were. And one of his first commands is to get all the ladies off off off the ship. So I think that they had depending on the rigidity of the commanding officer There were options for these guys. They could go and pick up a pick up abroad in Paris and then drop her off at the at Portsmouth or something like that. And she'd just be on the ship just making coin.
Prince: I guess that makes sense that I could see some some some captains would be, you know, more lenient towards women on board.
Jake: Yeah, yeah, absolutely.
Prince: Bortello or or like Rothel.
Jake: Yeah, floating bordello is what they call it. Yeah.
Prince: Get those women off the GET those women off you loud. This is his majesty's ship.
Jake: I love the I I don't I I I don't know who played him, but the guy that was just keeping everybody in line all the time. Yeah, yeah.
Prince: That guy.
Jake: That Cockney dude with the big top hat.
Prince: Get your man working in it!
Jake: Fuck yeah, dude.
Prince: You load of suckers!
Jake: Man, it makes me want to have a meat pie and a and a nice yeasty pint. But I like
Prince: I like I like their choice of of d you know different different castes, different characters. you get like the lieutenants really posh boys and you can tell that they they they come they come from you know an aristocratic upper class families and then and then you see the the rest of the crew, you know, a little bit more rugged, more lower class. What's that n what do you call their there there there's a term for it where the Royal Navy would just snatch people off the streets and then recruit them as as sailors. description? No, I I think there's a specific term for it.
Jake: Yeah, we were having a big issue with that leading up to the war of eighteen twelve, where the Brits were just like, it's a boat, we're gonna take it, and everyone on that boat is now in the Royal British Navy.
Prince: Right. Impressment, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So they because the Empire was growing and obviously the the artery of the the British Empire was its its trade routes. So they they had a lack of a a shortage of basically sailors and and and men. So they had to force people off the streets just to you know, just to get aboard. And I've I've read that most of these men are are basically unwilling to to be there.
Pete: Being press ganged it's called, isn't it? Have you
Prince: Yeah.
Pete: heard of this phrase before? Press ganged into the navy. Yeah, there's there was also another trick as well. I I can't remember the the details of it, but they used to put a coin in the bottom of your tankard in the pub. And if you drunk your tankard and then found the coin and took the coin, they would then tap you on the shoulder and say, Thank you very much, you've accepted the royal coin. You're now part of the Royal Navy and they would literally take you out of the pub and put you into wherever, the training or whatever. It was
Prince: So
Pete: it was called press gang. Have you ever seen the tankards that you get, the pewter tankards, for example? I got given one at a wedding once and they've got a glass bottom. You ever seen those?
Jake: No.
Prince: No.
Pete: So that was t that was four, watching out for the coin. You you'd hold your tanker up and it had a glass bottom. So you'd look at see if there was a coin there, so you'd be you wouldn't be pressed ganged.
Jake: Man, press gang sounds like something that happens to you after too much grog in the bottom of the boat. Mikey's walking funny, he got press gang last night. The the the the interesting thing about this time that I I caught from both the movie and the book is that these guys in these warships, if they found any ship really that were flying the French sails, they would try to disable it and then they would take it back to England and commission it into the Royal Navy.
Pete: yeah. It's it's legitimized privacy. The whole thing is is basically privacy with the stamp of authority from the
sovereign of your country.
Jake: Piracy or privacy?
Pete: that's sorry, piracy. Th but but the privateers, that's basically what they were. They were given letters of mark, right, by the government, by the crown at the time, that they could war upon anybody with the flag of of whatever nation they're warring on. So they could just go and fuck these guys up. There was no penalties for them, they could kill as many as they like.
Jake: But that's another thing too in this, that that this is an an era of combat and warfare where chivalry, I guess, was still commonplace in practice. Because a lot of the the a lot of this is gentlemanly behavior. For for instance, when they repaint the ship to make it look like a whaling ship, before they fire a cannon, they have to raise the the flag of England, the colors of England. They have to you know, raise the flag to make sure that the other ship knows that it's actually a warship. I I found that so interesting. The the the decorum that existed around Mortal Kombat back in the day is just fascinating.
Prince: the code of conduct.
Pete: Do you think there's a bit of there's a whiff of Moby Dick about this movie, you guys?
Jake: absolutely. Absolutely. An obsessed sea captain? Come on. He's he's he's got Ahab vibes for sure.
Prince: It's like a it's like a little miniature of of the the social hierarchy of of Britain itself. Just shrunken down to a wooden world. Like the captains and the lieutenants are the the the social elites, the the the aristocrats, the upper class. And then you got the Marines which they seem to be a little bit more privileged than the rest of the crew as
Jake: Well did you guys catch the make of this boat?
Prince: Calling it a boat, Jake. Give it some more respect.
Pete: It is tiny though, isn't it? That ship Apparently there's two hundred souls on there. N hundred and ninety seven people live on board that ship. And it's like what would you say? thirty fi st thirty yards, forty yards?
Prince: It's it's it's it's a frigate. It's not a it's not exactly you know chip of the line like the the HMS victory or something like that. Yeah for sure it's much smaller. Well much smaller than the Acheron.
Jake: So the a little bit of fun fact for you, Pete and Prince, about the Royal British Navy of this era. There were different rate classes of ships. So there's first rate all the way down to sixth rate. In the book, Commander Aubrey starts his command on a ship called the Sophie, which is a 14 gun brig sloop. Now that's quite small. That doesn't even have a a rate. Really. It's so small that it would only be used for local patrols and interrupting trade routes. So just kind of going in and taking some cargo from an enemy nation near England itself. The HMS Surprise, which is the ship in Master and Commander Far Side of the World, is a 28-gun sixth-rate frigate. So it's the lowest rate ship, and the rates are basically designated by one the size of the ship. And two, the number of guns on it, the number of cannons. So the HMS Surprise has twenty eight guns, twenty eight cannons. It's thirty eight point four meters long on deck, and it can house around two hundred sailors.
Prince: Mm. So it would be right right at that baseline of being considered a a frigate.
Jake: Yeah, yeah. It it is a frigate, but again, it's the it's the lowest rate frigate in the fleet. Whereas the Asheron I think is a is a forty two forty two cannon frigate, so it's potentially double the size of the surprise.
Pete: Yeah. Yeah, they were they were hopeful taking that on that big old ship. The the older ships, like the Portuguese and the Spanish, used to explore the new world in. yeah. They were tiny. They were super small little ships.
Prince: True.
Jake: Yeah. They they have a replica of a ship like that in a place called Mystic Seaport in Connecticut. And I have been on one of those, the those exploratory vessels, like the Nina, the Pinta, and the Santa Maria type ships. And those y yeah, I mean it blows your mind how many people they could fit on that and how this little boat makes it all the way around the world. Yeah, but the HMS Victory is a one hundred and four gun first rate ship of the line from the British Navy of yesteryear's.
Prince: Yeah. It's still it's still commissioned. So it's actually still an
Jake: Get the fuck out of here, really.
Prince: Yeah, yeah. It's still an active ship within the Royal Navy, as we speak.
Pete: That's interesting.
Jake: There you Pete.
Prince: Yeah. It's it's one of the the I think one of the most beautiful ships ever built. Victory.
Jake: You like the cut of her sails, huh? Yeah, guys, what else? okay, so we've talked about the ship, we've talked about the cast. How do you feel about how this movie is shot?
Prince: It's like a painting. It's it's absolutely beautiful. Every scene, every shot is is is a painting. I is is a work of art. Just just go back to the film, you know, just pause on any any sort of any any scene and it's just perfectly framed. the colors are great.
Pete: Were you sold by the effects of them being at sea for months on end?
Jake: How do you mean sold on sold on what? The the actors looking like they've been at sea for months on end, the the state of the the sets in the ship? What do what do you mean, Pete?
Pete: Well, th I understand that the the cast, the whole cast filmed for only ten days at sea for this movie, on a a replica boat called the or replica ship called the Rose. and all the rest were shot on a full size replica mounted on a motion rig in a large water tank. 'Cause I I just felt it looked like they were in a pool a lot of the time.
Jake: Yeah, I don't know. I thought it was pretty convincing. I didn't I I was along for the ride. I didn't get a lot of, you know, shooting in a tank vibes from it. But maybe I was just not not watching it with that critical of an eye. Yeah.
Prince: I think I think convincing.
Pete: Fair enough. Yeah. I think there's one other thing I wanted to mention, which
is my favorite thing about this whole movie, which is the music. The music was fantastic within the movie. A lot of classical music. Yeah, a lot of great classics in this movie. We had obviously the violin and the cello being played by by Russell and and the Doctor. And yeah, beautiful music from I think we had a lot of English, a lot of Elgar. Yeah, I think there's a bit of Bach in there. There was definitely a bit of Mozart going on. Vaughan Williams. It was a delectable score. A bit of Boccarini, I heard, as well.
Prince: Yeah. my interesting you mentioned 'cause my favorite favorite scene is when they reach the Galapagos Islands and then you get this Bach Shello prelude playing and in the doctor just going up and then you get these crews just being very mystified by seeing all these new creatures and interesting discoveries. And that and and that that score was just perfect for that moment. You do you get this sense of like discovery, this sense of Amazement,
Jake: But also for the viewer, a sense of familiarity because that's a very famous piece of music. And I think it works in theme with the movie where you have these guys who are out at sea for God knows how long. And then you finally get to a place where you can cool your engines and you can actually look and take in the the vistas and you can see the land. So it's sort of like a moment to breathe for both the viewer and the sailors, and you kind of have something to grab onto with that. Right. Really, really iconic piece of music. I thought that was really well executed. The score in itself for this movie though, I'm not impressed with. I love that they put a lot of the classical music into it, those bangers from yesteryears. But the actual score for the flick is just Canon and D with a little bit of like Sailor Spice
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: powdered onto it. Yeah, it just I I found it to be a little bit boring to be honest.
Prince: Yeah, and I I like the the other aspect where you get this really these classic classical pieces and then meanwhile you also get the the folk kind of music that the that the sailors sing it next to. you know that they're it's
Pete: Yeah. That's right, they're she shanties.
Prince: not played by a violin, is it? It's like
Jake: So fucking dumb. My God. You're out there on the ocean. There's a there's a ship hunting you, and what do you guys do? Let's have a party.
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: Let's bang the drums as loud as we fucking can, huh? Yeah. That sounds good.
Prince: what do you guys think about this? There's a lot of superstition at sea and and this one, you know, he's he's he's a Jonah or the the the cursed one who brings bad luck to the ship. Do you think there's any any I mean what what what what do you guys think? Yeah.
Pete: An interesting little part there, wasn't it? Was the guy Hollam who takes his own life because he's not very well liked by the rest of the crew and just decides to jump overboard and not not bother swimming, and just goes to Davy Jones' locker. Yeah, very interesting little bit there about like you say, the superstitions on board. The other sailors thought that he was bad luck and unlucky, mainly just because of the old guy though, right? That was he was the protagonist for all of that. issue. He was just he had a bump on the head and then he started going you know, telling everybody that this guy was awful. no, I don't I don't buy it.
Prince: You don't buy. But but the after he's gone, they got their wind back, the weather was improving. Now everything's just much better, so
Pete: Yeah, sacrifices must be made sometimes.
Prince: So
Pete: What did you guys think of the action scenes in this movie where they're fighting the French ship? Do you think they were good, realistic? What do you think?
Prince: realistic. I say, I think this film, by and large, action scenes and and all are a a very accurate depiction. Yeah, I I have no yeah, I I think the the action scenes are great.
Pete: Can you imagine the the absolute terror though of being on board these small boats in the middle of the ocean and getting cannonballs that are as big as your fists, bigger than your fist, coming through the sides of the ship that you, you know, you can hardly see them. They're going so fast. They could just take your head off. It must be absolutely terrifying. Could you imagine that?
Prince: Mm.
Jake: And on top of that, these guys seem to be spoiling for a fight at every chance they get. They're just like chomping at the bit to get into fisticuffs with these Frenchmen. It's wild. In terms of the visuals of the actual action beats of the movie, I love the first beat with the Asheron. I think this movie kicks off really, really well where they're looking for it in the fog. They see some sort of a shadow. Then Russell Crowe is out there looking and he sees the the muzzle fire. From the cannons before we hear the sound. I think that's fucking cool. And then as the ships come in and they're just launching broadsides at each other and you see the smoke from it and you can see both ships in their splendor with their sails up and everything. I'm like, Ooh, this is some good shit. I like it a lot.
Prince: In reality, you know, by by accurate accounts, there would be bits of flesh and you know, just just
Pete: yeah.
Prince: it it would be a lot messier. Yeah.
Pete: Terrible. It would be terrible. There'd be cannonballs going through the bodies of people, right? Cannonballs just ripping off arms and legs, Yeah, it would be horrendous. There'll be blood everywhere, smoke everywhere, probably fires going on. yeah, it's it's a
Jake: The deck would just be a pulpy mess.
Pete: Yeah, terrible.
Prince: Yeah, yeah, you have to be extraordinarily brave to to partake in close combat in in in in this case.
Pete: Yeah. y imagine that you have to get your cutlass out at the end of the the volleys of cannonballs going back and back and forth between the ships and then at the end of that you have to all get your cutlasses out
and then board the other ship and get it close up melee combat with these guys slicing and dicing. My goodness me. These guys have got to be tough as nails.
Prince: Hmm.
Jake: Yeah, I wouldn't last a second. I would be I'd be I'd be s floating to the bottom of the ocean with a cannonball too. I would have taken I would have taken the Holland plunge for sure.
Pete: But they get they get absolutely smashed though, don't they, in this in this opening exchange with the Acheron. They they have to limp off into the into the fog.
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: Really interesting bit there. Yeah, they have the the f the first big what is it, confrontation. And then their only recourse is to put guys in lifeboats and have them row the entire ship into the fog bank. That is wild.
Pete: Yeah. I think it's good. I think it works for me, the combat scenes in this. They they look pretty scary. and what can you do? I mean I would be literally cowering in a corner with my hands over my face. Do you know what I mean? I can't think of anything else.
Prince: I guess the the only the only thing would be that this film romanticizes a lot of the aspects of of you know life at sea and and naval warfare. So I would like I said, I would presume that in reality it would be much more gritty, gruesome, arms falling off, you know, guts on the on the deck. So it would be a lot more gory. But I can understand. it if if you if the director had included a lot of that into the film, then it would have lost its charm and its, you know, romantic aspect of of sail and living in a ship.
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: So yeah. Well How
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: quickly f we forget though, in the first fifteen minutes of this movie a little kid gets his arm saw sawn off. So I mean I there is a bit of it there.
Prince: Right, but but but to be fair, it's very romanticized even, right? even even with the kid with Lord Blakeney getting his arm sawed off, it's done where, you it's like it's like doesn't feel that terrifying. Yeah, tastefully done.
Jake: Mr. Blakely gets his arm tastefully sawn off.
Prince: he gets his arm sawned off and then, moments later the captain comes in with with with a book and starts, romanticizing Nelson and you know Yeah.
Pete: Yeah they do they do have a chubby
Jake: They do have a chubby. They got a chubby for Nelson.
Pete: They've got a chubby for Nelson, all these guys, haven't they? They really want to meet Nelson. They want all the stories from the captain about meeting Nelson. And he's like, Yes, I've met him twice now.
Prince: Probably a celebrity back then, huh?
Pete: Yeah, he must have been a very charismatic a very charismatic guy, you can imagine, Nelson. He i people wanted to be around him, very successful, very driven individual, as far as I'm aware.
Jake: And a nice line is put out there too by the by the what do they call it? The seamaster, sailmaster. he says that not a great seaman, but
Prince: Mm.
Jake: a very effective leader. And I think that Jack Aubrey is the exact opposite of
Prince: So so you're saying he's a bad leader but a good seaman.
Jake: I think he he really shines in in his seamanship, but as in terms of a leader, I think we can have the conversation either now or later when we're talking about themes. But what's the difference between a a good leader and an and a successful one? 'Cause I don't I don't think those two are mutually exclusive.
Prince: Sure.
Pete: It is. Yeah, you're right. the
Jake: A lot the time they'll be like their first bout with the Asheron, they what is it, twenty-eight men wounded, nine dead, and he's just like, Yep, well, we're gonna go refit at sea and then try to hit him again. is the ship twice our size and much newer with better technology? Yeah, we're still gonna go headlong at him. It's just kinda like, Whoa.
Prince: But there's there's aspects where he knows how to control his crew. I think I think the crew got you know, scott his back. they would go anywhere Lucky Jack goes. And I think that takes leadership more so than than good seamanship.
Jake: Sure. that's that's a that's a great point too. I'm just it's just food for thought, guys.
Prince: But but I think I think that's with the crew, the rest of the crew, but yeah, not sure about the doctor and stuff like that.
Pete: Yeah. Well the doctor's not a seaman, is he? The doctor is just the doctor or the surgeon for the ship. And when he points out the deficiencies of the surprise as a as a ship, he says it's a little bit old. Literally all of the sailors turn around and look at him like he's been sl like he slapped their wife or something. Walk the plank.
Jake: Yeah, yeah. Put him in the brig. But the the thing about the doctor is that the doc the the the surgeon on board is not a member of the Royal Navy. So he does not need to abide by the traditions and the chain of command, which is why he can spout off at the mouth to Jack Aubrey and he really can't do anything about it but sit there and listen to it. whereas if if he was an actual subordinate of Jack, there's not a chance in a hell he would be questioning his his decisions. And so I think that's where it rubs the command the wrong way when Steven pipes up at the at the dinner table, they're like, Whoa, you do not have the stripes on your shoulder to be able to talk to this guy like that. But he's not in there. They're not used to being around a civilian on the ship, I think is what.
Pete: Well Russell Crowe, Captain Aubrey, he loves this ship, right? He's he defends the ship. He's like, She's not old, she's a fine ship, she's got nice lines and the doctor's like pointing out, Well, we're outgunned, there's a lot more guns on board the Atron. She's bigger, she's faster. We also need repairs.
Jake: Sure. I really loved the little bit, not to not to go all the way back to talk about the ship, but when they're running the drills on the guns and they they finally get it within the time that Jack Aubrey's happy with, he goes walking back to his cabin and you see
all the guys putting the walls back into the captain's quarters. So like the captain's quarters when they're in combat just becomes another gunnery room, which I thought was really a neat little bit there. I thought that was really cool.
Prince: Yeah. So in in a bigger ship like let's say the Victory, this wouldn't be the case because there would be enough decks to just separate the functions of of of each each deck.
Jake: yeah, dude. Yeah. There'd be a hot tub, there'd be a stripper pole, the whole fucking thing.
Prince: But but no, like seriously, the if if you go on to Victory then you see that there's actually like a a dedicated section just for like you know, just for r relaxing for the officers to relax. But yeah, I think the vict the the surprise is a much smaller ship.
Jake: So the the the crux of the whole plot is the surprise is yeah, is is in pursuit of the Astron.
Prince: Yeah, but like I said, I think the themes that we we we could talk about is there's an interesting binary between tradition and and the doctor, like his liberal views.
Jake: Sure. So when you say the doctor has liberal views, can you expand on that? What what what do you mean by that? So
Prince: So okay, clear binary between the doctor not believing in, first of all, authority, whereas Jack, captain of the ship, you know, discipline and authority, is the number one priority for him. Seems like for the doctor, his in terms of liberal views here would be that authority corrupts. Authority corrupts, therefore punishment like when Na what was his name? Nagel? The guy who failed to salute Holland.
Jake: huh. Yeah, we can call him Nagel, that's fine.
Prince: Yeah, Nego, I forgot his name. Anyway, when he got punished for that, you know, the doctor really opposes the the way in which he gets slashed in the back.
Jake: The background of Dr. Stephen, he comes from Irish descent and he was for Irish independence and its liberation from the crown.
Prince: Yeah, speaks for itself, huh?
Jake: Yeah, so I think that's where his views on tyranny come in. Because it it's like he's just always piping off at the mouth is this guy about you know being a tyrant, Jack.
Prince: Mm. But it it it it's a good reminder for Jack. You know, I think for to to become a good leader you have to do you have to not forget that you're not just a leader for one group of people. You know, the th there's there's differing views. So to have someone like Steven to be around you and just kind of remind you that okay, there's there's opposing views out there, I think it's very beneficial, you know.
Jake: Yeah, I think that I think you're right. I think Doctor Steven is a character that can kind of temper his ambition.
Prince: His ambitions, yeah, he's he's he's he has a big ego, obviously very strong minded.
Jake: Pete, do you have anything to weigh in here on with Dr. Stevens sort of the juxtaposition of his philosophy versus Jack Aubrey's?
Pete: It's it's an interesting relationship between these two guys.
You know, I think the the captain on board the ship has to be in in order for his job to to do his job properly, he has to be a bit of a dictator. he has to be able to tell people what to do and they have to jump to do it. Have you seen the movie Mutant on the Bounty, you guys?
Jake: No. Is it any good?
Pete: It is Anthony Hopkins movie. He plays Captain Bly or Captain Bly, I think it is. So he pissed off his crew so much that they marooned him. on an island, him and his officers. it's a true story. And they sailed off into the wide blue yonder and then they found another island not far away and decamped there and had lots of children with the locals.
Jake: Right. Were there any other themes that you wanted to talk about while we're on the topic of the the liberal doctor versus the conservative captain?
Prince: Well yeah, just just to add, that's true, it's a good point where both of them need each other. It's not just that Jack needs Steven. Steven needs Jack too to kind of stay in line.
Jake: That's interesting you put it that way, because I I didn't that didn't scan with me. I didn't think that Steven needs Jack in any way, other than the fact that he needs him to make sure that the ship isn't put into too dangerous of a position. he's relying on this captain to make sure he's making the right decisions that won't put the entire crew in danger. So s Steven needs Jack the same way the rest of the crew does.
Prince: Right. What do you think about Jack as a captain? we we talked about this in terms of leadership, but what about his decisions? What about his like decision to basically go against his orders? I mean exceeded his orders, and it it almost becomes a personal crusade, you know, to destroy the Akron. You c one could say that that's a big risk on the crew unnecessarily, or
Jake: Yeah, I think I I I was started making that point a while ago where, you know, his ambitions to take down the Asheron sort of goes beyond the scope of his orders. I think is what you're trying to say as well. Where it all it becomes an obsession, it becomes to a point where he's actively putting the lives of his crew at risk. And even I think I think the most telling bit of that is after they come upon the Asheron for the second time. They do the whole dip and twirl in the night with the rigging that they put out to kind of trick the asheron. And then through a very masterful bit of seamanship, he comes back in the morning to be trailing the Asheron and in pursuit of the Asheron, and he pursues it all the way into a storm where he pushes the the boat or the ship to its limits and actually winds up snapping one of the masts.
Pete: Yeah. I think if they if it was maybe more realistic, they would recognize the lines of the the surprise. They wouldn't be surprised that that ship was the surprise because it wasn't disguised very well. You know, i if you if you've been chasing this ship this other ship around the Brazilian coast for several weeks or months, you're gonna
know the lines. You're gonna know the shape of the ship. So y you're not gonna be just because they give it a paint job you're gonna see the port holes, you're gonna see the gun holes for the for the cannon. You know, you you've got a spy glass. You can see most of this stuff when they're, you know, a couple of kilometres away. You can see how many masts it's got, you can see the shape of the sails. There's no way that they that the Acheron would let this other ship just come up beside it and then just blast it.
Jake: Sakura Blues, that ship has a new paint job. Yeah, that's a great point, B. you, you guys, you you're you're you're experienced sailors. You know what ships look like. They're even talking like, the Asheron, we looked at it for about 10 seconds. We know it's a big frigate. We know what class it is. We know how it's built. We know blah blah blah blah blah. You mean to tell me that these experienced guys take one look at that ship with a new paint job and they go, Yahtzee, we got another whaling boat? Come on.
Pete: I I did like the bit when they had to limp off, as as mentioned after the initial fight and they went to find some, new supplies and stopped at that little island the where where the the the locals came out with their food and they turn up and they go, Hey, we got food. Also, you probably want women as well. Do you want women? So they got like a boat full of just of of beautiful girls there as well. I just this is the best boat. Just crazy. Yeah, well, y if you're one of the one of the guys there, you'd be overboard in a jiffy, wouldn't you? I'm off, I'm getting lost in the jungle. Bye.
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: Yeah, absolutely. And the other thing I g I I noticed on that little beat was everybody's just buying parrots and monkeys.
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: Yeah. How irresponsible. You know what I mean? Like, let's watch this monkey slowly die over the next seven months. My God, what are they gonna feed this thing? If that monkey took my ration of grog, I'd be throwing these people overboard.
Prince: I've got a question. Would you rather would you rather be a sailor like so exploring the world during the age of sail? Or would you rather be a spaceman exploring the universe and the galaxies?
Jake: Would I rather be a a sailor on a ship like this or an astronaut in the far reaches of the unknown?
Prince: Would you rather be would you rather be Ryan Gosling or would you rather be Mr Moet?
Jake: I gotta I gotta pick Mr. Mullet, right? 'Cause if I fall off the ship, at least I can swim back to it. Whereas if I accidentally fuck up the airlock, I'm toast.
Prince: But that's because you've s that's because you live in this century. think about think about where think about the the two hundred years ago where
Jake: Okay, thinking about it.
Prince: yeah, just like try to imagine the world's unexplored. you don't really know if the water is safe even. Like are there sea creatures downstairs I mean down below or it's it's probably the same feeling, Jake.
Jake: I'm sure there are more similarities than differences there. The only thing that I would argue that is okay, there's a shipwreck or something. I can wind up on an island somewhere that might have gigantic tortoises I can eat. But in space, if I'm stranded on a a cratered asteroid, you're fucked.
Prince: No, true.
Jake: What about you? How do you feel about it? Would you rather be Ryan Gosling or Russell Crowe?
Prince: Yeah, Russell Poe, man.
Jake: Yeah, you get to wear those cool shirts. Yeah, I gotcha.
Prince: I I mean I don't know. I don't know. How how about you, Pete?
Pete: definitely on terra firma. Well, definitely on Earth in the sea, better than space for sure. Yeah.
Jake: It depends. I I think it for Pete it would depend if if George Clooney is a crewman on the spacecraft, I think he would jump the chance.
Pete: different. Yeah, different story.
Prince: So you you're a big fan of Josh Pluny, Pete?
Pete: Yeah, he he is the greatest actor in living memory. Yeah. He he deserves his own studio, you know. He deserves everything that's come into that guy. I've already waxed about him before. I mean, he's got himself a beautiful Asian princess as a wife and she is also a humanitarian lawyer. And she's fantastic. Yeah, she's she's an attorney for yeah.
Jake: Like a like a fucking bloodhound. Did you hear the clickety clack of that keyboard as soon as you said Asian princess for a wife? Prince is just a hound dog on the trail.
Pete: Yeah, yeah, she's lovely. And she's really clever and he's obviously said to he's always had to go to her, Look, I know I know you think that I'm a philanderer, I'm a movie actor, I've been with loads of women, but yeah, I I want to settle down with you. I'm I'm looking for that Asian princess treatment, and I love the fact that you're a humanitarian lawyer for the UN. give it to me, baby. Give me some sugar. Nice.
Prince: Well, I like his style. I l I like George Clooney's style.
Pete: Yes, who doesn't? He has got his own style.
Jake: that leads me to the next question. Do you think George Clooney would be able to pull off the Jack Aubrey role?
Prince: Well can he do a British accent, a convincing one? I d I doubt it.
Jake: He doesn't even he doesn't even have to speak, dude.
Pete: I'm back again.
Jake: Just just one look from George and that that sweet cool of command that he carries with him. He just I'll reef that sale for you, dude.
Pete: We get this sort of insubordination, don't we, that's that's rising within the crew. And it's mainly due, as mentioned, to the old guy. What's his name? Old Joe or something like that? Old Joe.
Prince: Joe Joe, yeah, old Joe.
Pete: Yeah, and he's the guy that the doctor, after their initial fracas with the French, with the Acheron ship, he gets hit and he gets a chunk of his skull taken out. So the doctor rather in in a rather strange, bizarre w sort of way of doing things, he decides to do the surgery and save this guy's life on the deck. You need to do
this in a in a clean environment, and you know, in in the cabin, I would say.
Jake: Right. not a whole lot of medical knowledge coming from this quote unquote doctor. what does he do? He removes a piece of the guy's skull, and then he takes a coin that the blacksmith is grinding the face off of. He takes it from the blacksmith disgusting blackened hands, puts it in his own mitt that's covered in blood from this guy, and just plops it over. the wound in his skull and there you go. Not a hand is washed. It's not disinfected in any way. It's just a brilliant piece of eight or yeah, nineteenth century surgery going on here.
Pete: Mm-hmm.
Prince: Well, I guess that's the that would that would have been the only way to do it. Do they have this infect inspectin
Jake: Yeah, the guy spits on it to shine it up and then they put it right in the dude's skull. fucking hell.
Pete: Yeah, they didn't have any anaesthetic or anything, did they, back in those days, or anything like that?
Jake: Terrible. It dunked it in some grog. I do like the little bit that they have here. and leave it to the to the British in this little scene where the kid is getting obviously he's scared and you know he's he's whimpering a little bit. And to kind of cover for any perceived weakness that the that the other midshipmen may feel, may may be scanning with the kid, the doctor goes, It's just the Lord and I'm talking, don't worry. It's the medication. It's not his real emotion. I just fucking love that, dude. you guys always just are looking out, what did they call it? the best foot forward. Fucking love that stuff.
Pete: Yes. The graph is half full.
Prince: That's why they conquered half the world.
Jake: Definitely.
Pete: So they're following the Archuron. They basically need to what what we find is that Captain Jack is a little bit obsessed with the Archuron, this French frigate, and they want to take it down. He's got orders from London to do to do so, but they've got a much smaller ship, so they're gonna have to be clever about this. but the rest of the crew are not really that happy about trawling around and there's a bit of insubordination going on, as mentioned. We get the death of Hollem, midshipman Hollem. as as mentioned just earlier, he he jumps off the ship because everybody's being horrible to him. Everyone's being such a pain to Mr. Holland that he decides to pick up a cannonball and end it overboard. Yeah, it's it's a bit of a shame for him. But that's that's where we are. We're catching up with where the the Atron is. They're following the Atron. The Atron's sometimes following them. They're sometimes following the Atron. We've got storms going on over the whole ocean. And this is all being played out around the horn of the the the coast of Argentina, the southern tip of Argentina.
Jake: They do get into some nasty weather. And in pursuit of the Asheron, Captain Jack is like, Hey, we're gonna go as far south as we can. And it's fucking cold down there. We're seeing a
lot of snow on the ship. the sailors are not very happy. They're in frigid weather. but it turns out, like Pete said, what they're doing is they're going through the Drake Passage and they're coming out into the Pacific. And once they change their heading from a southerly heading. To a northerly heading, everything seems to warm up and everybody's a little bit more happy, and he lets fly that they're going to the Galapagos.
Prince: I love it asylum.
Pete: Yeah. Yeah. I think they're saying I think they're saying that they got there before Darwin, right? Because Darwin famously went to Galapagos and you know, hi his Origin as a species paper came from his experience there, right? So I think they're saying that this doctor got there first why have you guys ever been there? No,
Prince: The Galapagos Islands?
Pete: no.
Jake: No, I've I've not had the the privilege. my parents have been to the Galapagos Island.
Prince: Nice.
Jake: Yeah, if you like animals, it's a pretty cool spot, evidently.
Prince: Yeah, but no women.
Jake: No women, just flightless birds. I bet those iguanas are pretty good too. I watch that big meaty bastard climb off the rock and start swimming. I'm thinking, hmm, put that on the barbecue.
Pete: It tastes a bit fishy, wouldn't they? Iguana tail. I bet they're delicious.
Jake: Yeah, but they are. Yeah.
Prince: I love the I love I love that that still I love that scene where they're all describing the iguanas. Like one guy goes, Ugly devils aren't they? Scott War so low rate
Pete: Yeah, that's right. They're all looking at all these strange animals and then the doctor said he goes, Look, I've got to catch one of those iguanas because they look like they're swimming and that's impossible 'cause iguanas can't swim.
Jake: It's this little kid too. And he's like, You gonna go catch one? And and Dr. Stephen's like, Yeah, I'm gonna get a male and a female, then you can present this offspring to the to the king. And I I was just waiting for the kid to be like, What do you mean? Where do babies come from, Doctor?
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: Yeah, so they do w wind up making it to the Galapagos, and this is where we get a really fun bit with Dr. Steven, because he's like, We're going to the Galapagos? Honest? No foolin? And Jack Aubrey's like, Yeah, we'll go. You can go check it out. You can, you know, look at all the bugs to your heart's content. And we get to the like Prince you were you were alluding to earlier, where it's a little shot where everybody's looking at the the various flora and fauna of the Galapagos from the deck of the ship and we just have Captain Jack on the front checking out the coastline to see if there's anything, you know. if he can see the asheron or any sails or anything. And he picks up on a few sailors in a in a dinghy, in a little rowboat trying to make their way towards them.
Pete: Yeah, and these happen to be shipwrecked souls. well not shipwrecked, they are guys whose ship was blown apart by the Atron on their previous Casualties. yeah, casualties of the Aturon, the French ship. So these are the survivors from the last ship and they come on board the surprise and tell their story.
Jake: Yeah, so they the this re-kindles Captain Jack's ambitions to go take the Asheron and he turns to Dr. Steven, who, like I said, has already put on his exploratory uniform, his little outfit that he's gonna go wear onto the island. And he's like, Sorry, bitch, put that stuff away because we're not making it to the island. And this little bit to me, this this part. Bored me just a little bit because it's it's Dr. Steven basically like, but I wanna go see the birds. And Captain Jack is like, Do you know where you are? You're on a fucking warship. All right. You're the doctor on the ship. We have to go do what we have to do, dude. you'll have plenty of time to go draw pictures of birds later.
Prince: I love it when he says, I could walk briskly.
Pete: Yeah, across the island.
Prince: well it it like you say, he's sounds a bit spoiled, you know, just too a bit selfish, you know. Wha what if he gets trapped in an island and the ship has no doctor, now they're just out
Pete: yes. He's he's got zero strategic worth whatsoever, as as the doctor. He is useless.
Prince: Zero accountability.
Jake: Yeah, yeah. It does it reminds me of the a kid who really wants to go to his buddy's house or something like for a sleepover, and her parents are like, No, you can't go. And he's like, But I'll I'll I'll ride my bike there. You don't have to drive me. Like,
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: no, you're not going. Just get back down below and do your job. This is like a an acrimonious marriage with these two because the wife, played by Paul Bettney, wants to go shopping, and the husband, played by Russell Crowe, is like, just put pipe down. Lady. So the whole the whole argument ends with Jack Aubrey going, We're not derailing the whole mission so you can go enjoy your hobby. And that just wounds Paul Bettney so badly that they don't talk for two days. It's just like, come on, guys.
Prince: To to be fair to his doctor. If he does make discoveries and, you know, advanced science, mind you, this was a period where a lot is still unknown to in terms of science and and things like that. So if he does make an interesting discovery, it could be worth, you know, a a lot, you know, in terms of scientific advancement. So to be fair, like he has a he I mean, there's a point to it, you know. But yeah, it it just takes compromising, but Not in this case.
Pete: Well then we have a an incident, don't we? On board. We have a friendly fire incident as they're on their way from the Galapagos Islands. We get one of the crewmen taking a a musket and he is trying desperately to shoot a seagull that's basically flying around the rigging of the ship. And unfortunately he doesn't get the seagull, but he gets somebody else, doesn't he?
Jake: I don't buy this shit for a second, Pete. You mean to tell me that all this tradition and
all of these protocols that you have in the in the British Navy and this Marine just fires his gun into the ship? How how does how does a mishap like that happen?
Pete: Yeah, it doesn't it doesn't make sense for sure. But that's that's what happens when they shoot unfortunately he shoots the doctor. Shoots the doctor, wings him, basically, doesn't he, on the torso. Mm.
Jake: Yeah, he gets him right in the gut he works. And the big problem is the the the mini ball from the musket goes embeds itself into his torso along with a piece of his shirt. That's the big problem. Because the the metal on the musket ball can probably be you know, controlled by the doctor's immune system, but not a piece of clothing, not a piece of cloth. That thing's gonna fester and infect and be awful.
Prince: You're right, with it
Pete: Yeah.
Prince: it shouldn't be a case.
Jake: But yeah, so what do they do then, guys? It's like well we told you you couldn't go to the Galapagos, but since you're sick, we're gonna take you there.
Pete: Basically they need to fix the doctor. obviously this is the best buddy of Captain Jack. So he's like, Well, we need he says to the doctor, What what do you need? And the doctor says, Well, I can't really do any surgery on board a moving ship. It's gonna be super difficult. what I need is like steady ground. So Captain Jack's like, Okay, fuck the Archeron, let's reverse course, go back to the Galapagos and we'll set up shop there and fix up the doctor. Which is nice. Very nice of them.
Jake: Yeah, if if I were in command of that of the ship, I would do the exact same thing. if you have the ability to save the only surgeon on your boat, yeah, and and your whole bent is to go launch broadsides at a frigate that's twice your size, I'm making sure that our surgeon is good to go before I'm going after the asheron for sure.
Prince: I think that's the logical angle would be hi his his life is too important. in order to defeat the Echeron, he obviously needs a doctor on board.
Jake: You think one of the other officers plays an instrument too? And he's like, but I've got my bagpipes here. I'll play the bagpipes while you play the violin and Cap Jack's like, No fucking chance.
Prince: How many doctors usually go on a on a voyage like this? I would I
Pete: Well.
Prince: would presume they would have backup, no? Having one seems a little bit you know risky.
Jake: They train Mr. Blakeney and it's like a Doogie Hauser situation.
Pete: But yeah, interesting interesting times that he decided to turn back and save his buddy rather than carry on and try and take down this French warship. So that's what they do. They turn back for the Galapagos. They set up like a table in a tent and they get they get a mirror and they say, you you do your do your stuff, surgeon. So he does he does his own operation on himself with in the mirror, Jake and and Prince. It's unbelievable.
Prince: And
Jake: He's a pretty he's he's a badass, for sure.
Prince: You think he's high on
Laudanum? Or
Jake: no doubt, dude.
Prince: Yeah.
Pete: Gotta be, hasn't he? Yeah. But he manages to fish out that little that little musket ball and he pulls it out. Does he get the scrap of cloth as well?
Jake: He does, yeah. Patrick. It's like in Legend of Zelda.
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: And yeah, they get it. And how shitty do you have to feel if you are the the backup surgeon in this situation? Like I'm so bad at my job that like not only do we have to park the boat and come to this island, but the guy that's wounded has to do the surgery himself. Like, no. Yeah
Pete: Yeah.
Jake: No, no, Barry, just hold the mirror. That's all you're good for. Just h yeah, bet hold it better.
Pete: You don't you don't want to see a scalpel in that guy's hand though, do you? He does not look confident in his abilities.
Prince: No. Interesting
Jake: Absolutely not.
Prince: fact is the even the Hedgehammer's victory only carried one surgeon. So
Jake: Wow.
Prince: yeah. I guess maybe it's it's hard to come by back then, to be a surgeon. Gotta be pretty elite.
Jake: That's interesting. So, Prince, how many people were on the the HMS victory? What was the cruise size on that?
Prince: I think they were carrying about five or six hundred.
Jake: Good God. One surgeon for five or six hundred people. No.
Prince: eight hundred men.
Jake: that's a busy dude. my God. At what point do you think he's just like, you know, slip of the scalpel we got too many. This guy we're gonna put out the pasture.
Prince: Imagine the the mess, right? Yeah.
Jake: yeah. Be brutal.
Pete: He was the first first case of Dr. Harold Shipman, that guy probably. Yeah, he's just off in the off in the midshipman.
Jake: He had a splinter, he was beyond repair. But it's like that that scene in the revenant where Tom Hardy's like blink if you want me to kill ya.
Pete: Yeah. We get a lovely bit of we we get a temporary rest where these guys are recuperating on the island of Galapagos and they decide to do a bit of sporting activity, don't they, Prince? What do they what do they play? Nice bit of English sport.
Prince: Are are they playing cricket or are they playing some form of T ball or something?
Pete: Bit a bit of bloody cricket, old man. Yes. Yes. Get the get the red ball on the willow. Damn straight. And they introduce cricket to the Galapagos.
Prince: I found it interesting too that they they they have in they have all these tents and and if you notice the crew are in different uniforms now. They're they're more like wearing white linen shirts and pants. Yeah.
Pete: Yes. Yeah.
Prince: And they they seem to be they seem to be very prepared for this occasion. Yeah. It it's funny how they can fit everything into the ship, right? But but but the other thing I found weird was they they took some cactus or some f some some thing from the island and d they started boiling it and make tea. And then one of the two starts drinking it.
Pete: I think they're making a still. I think they made a still. They're making alcohol from some fruit. Yeah,
Prince: Alcohol, right? Yeah.
Pete: so I think so, yeah. Don't give it to the malcontent though on board, the old man. Don't give him any alcohol 'cause he's just gonna get lippy.
Jake: Yeah.
Prince: So so essentially the crews are just a bunch of alcoholics.
Pete: Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes they are.
Jake: That stands to reason.
Pete: Nothing's changed with the English over time. Well, this is the point though where we have a bit of a turn, an about face, don't we? By what's his name? By the captain. Captain Jack. He decides after the trauma of seeing his best friend get shot and have to operate on himself, he decides that now he's not that bothered about the Aturon. He's decided now it's time to go back to jolly old England. and en enjoy enjoy the rest of his time with these these ugly hags of the of the aisle.
Jake: Yeah, and he gives Dr. Stephen fr free range to go and explore the island, have a good time. And by this point, Mr. Blakely has shown that he's got a an eye for the naturalist bent, much like Dr. Stephen. So he takes this midshipman on sojourn across the island. Paul Bettney makes a discovery he was not planning for, which is the asheron in another little inlet. So he traverses basically the entire breadth of this island. When he gets to the other side to the coast, he looks over the cliffs and in the bottom of this little valley or outcropping or cove, if you will, lies the Asheron at anchor.
Prince: sight to behold.
Jake: A sight to behold. And then he you just kind of get a shot of Paul Bettney, like, Well, that's fucking game over for my fun. I have to go back and tell Aubrey this now. So he double times it with with Mr. Blakely and Mongo back to the surprise and they get back on the ship and here's where we get a little bit of changing of the tide for Jack Aubrey in terms of his opinion of Dr. Stevens's little hobby. They basically had to leave all of the samples of the animals that they collected because they needed to get back quickly.
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: For what reason, I don't know, because they then take like two days to repaint the ship and all that shit. But anyway, they get back, and the one sample that they kept was one of the stick bugs. And this gives like so Jack is like, What the fuck am I looking at here? And the the kid is like, Well, it's a stick bug. It disguises itself as as its environment to hide from its predators. And Jack Aubrey's like, Wait a second. I could do that too.
Prince: Yeah, but I like the part where Doctor says, Don't forget, Jack, you're the predator.
Jake: yeah, yeah. You gotta you gotta make sure the husband's happy. So you gotta tell him what a big man he is.
Prince: Ha ha ha.
Jake: The rest of the movie's a whirlwind of action. So at that, Jack has the idea that he hi he will follow the same principle and disguise the ship, the surprise, as a whaling ship. So he'll hoist the colors of a whaling ship, which is just a white flag with a black diamond in it. He'll
repaint the sides and paint a new name on the back of it, the siren. And his plan is to entice the Asheron in close, make them believe that they're going to be capturing a whaling ship. And then while the the Asheron is nearby and unsuspecting, he'll let loose the a broadside to disable the ship by taking out its masts.
Pete: Yeah, he says, a nautical phasmid doctor, at least to a hungry eye for whalers. the the what what does that mean?
Prince: Noti ruch was mit!
Pete: Yeah, so that's the tra that's the trap they're gonna set for the the Atron. They're gonna try and take down this larger ship by pretending to be a whaler, limping up to it, and just giving it a broadside.
Jake: That's right. And that's indeed what they do. So they bring the Asheron in. They're all disguised as whalers. So they're all wearing gray coats and looking miserable. And they do wind up disabling the the the ship or the their enemy ship by taking out the mass. And it's really neat the way they do it because they take the they take the wheels off the cannons to pitch the gun higher up. So instead of the broadside hitting the deck of the ship or hitting the the the The gun wall of the ship, the side of the ship, it'll aim up to to take out the rigging and the masts. But the problem with that is the gun won't recoil, so it won't come back into the belly of the ship for them to be able to reload it. So they only have one shot from, I think it was the larboard side, and then they have to turn the ship and hit them with another full broadside once they're around.
Pete: Mm-hmm. What did you think of the inspirational speech here given by Captain Jack on this just before they start this Adventure Prince?
Prince: I I felt really patriotic at that point. Just wanna be British now.
Pete: When
Jake: For you, huh?
Prince: It worked, Yeah, I w I wanna fly back to old England and just shout shout out my lungs and say, Make me British
Pete: We get the famous line of this ship is England and he gives this inspirational speech to the crew and says basically, Take out all these French guys, they're worthless and you know, you're fighting for England and the crown here.
Jake: Yeah, and isn't there another little speech where he's like, do you want Napoleon to be your king? And everyone's like, No. He's like, Do you want your kids to sing the muka to papa or whatever the song is? They're all like, No. You remember that? Do
Pete: Yeah, such
Jake: you want to eat onions and cheese? No.
Prince: That's a very cute motivational speech, I find.
Jake: Yeah, but we get the tight end on Billy Boyd during this this last one where it's like, this ship is England, and you look at Billy Boyd like, I fucking took on orcs in the Pellinor fields. This is nothing to me, dude. You know who gives an ind an enthusiastic speech? Fucking Thaed and King. All right. Or either Russell Crowe.
Pete: Straight. You're right. But then we have another, we have basically the second large pitched battle of this movie, a large action scene, which is where the the whaler ship makes its way alongside the the archer on and lets loose. And there's a lot of fighting and smoking and shooting and cannons going off, a lot of close combat melee. they get their swords out and they try and go across to the other ship. And they, I mean, to be to be fair to them. I I I think at the end, don't they have a a body count of eight Englishmen dead? And they just murk basically half the French crew of the ship? Mm-hmm. That's how we won the world.
Jake: Yeah, it's
Prince: Unrelated.
Jake: it's pretty w one sided. Yeah. man.
Prince: What do you guys think? But but especially the French doctor, the was Divini, the the the the I think he's called Divini.
Jake: Sure, yeah.
Prince: It would give you these you know the the the the sound, the accent was really really funny. Really Frenchy.
Pete: Yeah. Well we get one of them sneak attack poor Captain Jack. He's Captain Jack so they they win the melee fight on the other ship. They've taken most of the Acheron crew prisoner. They've killed the rest. And Captain Jack is just sort of wandering around looking under stuff and there's some Frenchie hiding underneath this tarpaulin and he he stabs poor Jack with a knife.
Prince: That's typical of French, right? the English would never do that. It's disorder.
Pete: We wouldn't we wouldn't do a sneak attack like that. We wouldn't pretend to be like whalers or anything like that. That would be dishonourable. You're absolutely right.
Prince: Okay.
Pete: Yeah. But and then we get the we get this nice bit, as you said before, there is gentlemanly conduct. Even though these guys are at war, the country of France is against is at war against England, they still have rules of being gentlemanly. So when the Usheran is captured, the dead captain has bequeathed his sword to Captain Jack, who he's never met before. So this captain that has just wrecked his crew and his ship He goes, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna give this guy a prezi. I'm gonna give him my best sword. And that's that's what he does. Bit strange.
Jake: It is a bit strange. Yeah. And is it isn't it into the alluded to or it's like there's a nod to the cap that this surgeon that he goes and talks to that gives him the sword is actually the captain of the Asheron. Yeah.
Prince: That's true. So a bit of deception there.
Jake: Yeah, so that basically they win the day, and we get a nice you know, a a moment to send off the dead and a nice Protestant Lord's Prayer. And the basically the end of the movie is Russell Crowe and Paul Bettney back in the music room, and they're having a little a little chit chat about how, hey, Paul Bettney, I know that you really want to go back to the Galapagos, so that's where we're going. We won. Everything's gonna be fine. You get to go and check out those flightless birds that you really want, want to see. And there's a line sent out from Russell Crowe, like, and the and the surgeon gave me this sword. And Paul
Bettney's like, the surgeon died. Yeah, there's no surgeon on board. Surgeon was dead. And so Russell Crowe's like, That son of a bitch. It was the captain that gave me this sword. That means that the Asheron that's now sailing back to Portsmouth under the command of Lieutenant Tom. the the the captain's still on board and there may be an issue with that. You're not gonna get the best of Captain Jack. No, Suri. So Paul Bentney, shut the fuck up. We're not going to the Galapagos again.
Pete: Again.
Prince: no.
Jake: I know. But you promised
Prince: I look at a promise as binding jack.
Jake: Yeah, so basically the he calls the the the ship or the the master of sails in and says, Hey, change the course. We're gonna go intercept the Asheron and and and check on them to make sure that the captain is is actually dead at sea. And yeah, Paul, we're not going to Galapagos.
Pete: But that's that's pretty much the end of the movie, isn't it? Because they sail off into the into the sunset kind of thing. We get a lovely wide angle shot of this beautiful ship sailing off back to Portsmouth, it looks like anyway.
Jake: this little bit of music, so it starts off with with Russell Crowe strumming the violin like it's a guitar, like it's a ukulele. And then there's a beautiful cellist line like Paul Bettney plays his part and then Russell Crow changes his grip on the violin to play it like a violin at his neck, but the plucking sound from the violin is still happening.
Pete: That's right. Yeah.
Jake: It's just like, whoa, way to end your movie with a really bad piece of editing. But yeah, it's all good. And that's pretty much Master and Commander from the year two thousand and three. guys, you want to wrap it up with some final thoughts here?
Prince: I'm I'm a big fan of British military history. I love period films. I love I love World War One films too. But anything but but you know anything British in that sense. So this film is like really really speaks to me. Yeah.
Pete: Interesting.
Jake: Yeah, cool, man. Yeah. Is there is there another movie like this out there for you, Prince? Cause this is honestly I'm I'm struggling to think of other maritime movies that has the the British naval protocols so front and foremost.
Prince: One in particular, not n not of the the same period, but a World War One, I think nineteen seventeen or nineteen eighteen.
Jake: Yeah, dude. I watched that recently. I love that movie.
Prince: Yeah, that's that that's a great one too.
Pete: I l I like the movie. it's it is a it's an interesting movie. It's an interesting time period in England's history. I thought, as mentioned at the start, I thought Russell Crowe's acting in this was not top notch. I think he looked a bit nervous, a little bit out of his depth, maybe. I'm not sure what the problem was. He looked like he needed a poo most of the way through the movie. but yeah, he I I apart from Apart from him, the the movie in general is okay. They've cut this movie quite a bit though.
I don't know if you sort of noticed at the end, there was a few scenes that they've sort of cut out, so it doesn't kind of make a lot of linear sense. When they rescue the the whalers that are in the in the hold in the French ship, they're actually not whalers, they're disguised crewmates from the surprise. But we know we never hear that story. So, Yeah, it it it's a it's a decent movie though. If you want to have a little look at a a good period piece of British nautical history, this is a good movie to do so, and the music is sublime.
Jake: Yeah, absolutely, man. for me, this movie, I I watched this years ago when it came out, and I remember being really fired up and excited to watch it. And then when it ended, I just felt like nothing really happened. Like it didn't it it just made it to second base for me. Upon my subsequent viewing of it for this this show, I felt b basically the same way. I'm there for it with all of the naval, the British naval history, the The the Brotherhood of the Sailors, the some of the action beats are really fun. But as a story arc in the whole thing, there's nothing for me to grab onto here. It just seems like two bickering friends, a lot of we're going here, wait, no, we're not. A lot of obsession with the Asheron that never really gets fully fleshed out. A lot of this stuff feels like it's not crossing the finish line for me. That being said, I think it's a really fun movie if you're into. naval battles if you're into period pictures, check it out. It's a fun little ride. But as a movie itself, I don't know. Doesn't quite doesn't quite make it to home plate for me.
Prince: Come on, Jake.
Jake: No, I I I respect the pick. I think it's a it's a decent enough movie, but I had the same problem, Prince. Have you ever seen the movie The Last of the Mohicans?
Prince: Yeah I've I've I have seen it.
Jake: That movie has everything in it that should just be an absolute home run for me. It's a it's a period movie, it's a war movie, it's got Daniel Day Lewis in it, directed by Michael Mann. I'm liking everything that's that I'm seeing in print as I'm leading up to the movie. But as the movie executes, I just can't connect with it. I just, there's just something about it that it just doesn't, I don't click with it. and I know people love that movie, but for me personally, I just I I just don't see what the all the hullablue is about. And this one is similar to that, where it it's got all the moving pieces that should make me, glued to the seat, chowing down on popcorn, locked in, but for some reason it fails to just click that final notch for me. I'm not saying it's a bad movie, Prince. And I'm not saying that at all. I'm just saying that there I would have liked to seen a a couple more things to make it fully rounded out. to make it fully enjoyable for me.
Prince: 'Cause it's very niche, you gotta be really into the the the nautical aspect as well. the if you're not fascinated by ships or
Pete: If don't love sailors,
Jake: If if if you're a big fan of movies, if you're in it for the story,
Prince: Yeah.
Jake: this doesn't quite land. But if you really want to watch something that's about naval battles, cannons going off, frigates, the old maritime Britannia, yeah, I can see that y yeah, this would this would really knock it out of the park for you.
Pete: Mm.
Prince: Mm. And it's a it's a niche. I don't think like I'm I'm pretty sure there's there's some films out there, but as far as, you know, one that's well executed like this, isn't there's there's not much, right?
Pete: Are you a fan of Braveheart movie, Prince?
Prince: No, not really.
Pete: Is it because the English get defe is it because the English get defeated? Is that why they you're not a fan of the
Prince: Yeah, yeah, it's just don't No no I I I I don't mean it like that. I do like the film, but it's not like my favorite.
Pete: Yeah. Yeah, I just wonder 'cause it's another one with English soldiers, the English military history kind of thing. Last of the Mehicans as well, as Jake just mentioned as well. That's got a a lot of English soldiers in there.
Prince: I like Zulu.
Pete: who doesn't like fucking Zulu? Zulus. Thousands of
Prince: Yeah, thousand.
Jake: Great movie. And that is Master and Commander from the year 2003, directed by Peter Weir, starring Russell Crowe, Paul Bedney, and Billy Boyd. As always, I'm Jake.
Pete: And I'm Pete.
Prince: And I'm pri
Jake: And this is Jake and Pete's movie talk. Movie talk roundtable. We will see you next week.