התמלול המלא של What Students Learn From Watching You

question is, what will they remember? 00:05:18.240 --> 00:05:22.000 You want to know what your students have learned from you, watch them play school. 00:05:22.879 --> 00:05:25.600 Picture a group of second graders at indoor recess. 00:05:26.079 --> 00:05:31.120 One of them is a teacher, and she's got a clipboard, she's got the voice. 00:05:31.279 --> 00:05:34.240 She claps to the rhythm uh to get everyone's attention. 00:05:34.399 --> 00:05:37.360 Two claps on two, one, two, clap, clap. 00:05:38.240 --> 00:05:40.720 And then one of the students talks out of terms. 00:05:42.319 --> 00:05:49.120 Young lady puts her hands on her hip, lets out the biggest sigh you have ever heard. 00:05:49.360 --> 00:05:53.680 Oh, I'm so tired of this class. 00:05:54.480 --> 00:05:58.240 Across the room, the teacher hears it and freezes. 00:05:58.800 --> 00:05:59.839 That's her line. 00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:05.519 Word for word, that is what that teacher shares in the class with those students. 00:06:06.240 --> 00:06:08.800 The little girl thought she was doing a great job. 00:06:09.120 --> 00:06:12.720 In her mind, that is what a teacher sounds like. 00:06:14.240 --> 00:06:15.040 We've been there. 00:06:16.240 --> 00:06:25.040 If you want honest feedback on your teaching, let a seven to ten-year-old play you for five minutes. 00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:33.279 For all of the things they copy, they'll copy the good stuff, but they'll copy the bad stuff too. 00:06:33.519 --> 00:06:43.120 Kids will copy everything, and when they play school, it will tell on us for who and how we are as an educator. 00:06:43.199 --> 00:06:44.560 So, you know, another example. 00:06:44.720 --> 00:06:48.639 Picture a fifth grader helping the kid next to him with a math problem. 00:06:48.959 --> 00:06:51.279 The other kid there is frustrated and ready to quit. 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:55.360 And the fifth grader leans over and says, Take your time, show me show me what you tried first. 00:06:56.399 --> 00:06:57.519 That's the teacher's line. 00:06:58.319 --> 00:07:02.399 He uh heard it so many times that it became his line. 00:07:03.040 --> 00:07:05.600 Nobody put that on a standards checklist. 00:07:06.079 --> 00:07:12.079 Uh he he picked it up the same way those little ones picked up the yelling, and that's just by watching. 00:07:13.439 --> 00:07:17.360 Now, this goes just beyond classroom teachers. 00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:28.879 Every single adult in the building is on camera all day long, and not like actual camera, but like the figurative camera of these kids that are in front of us. 00:07:28.959 --> 00:07:33.759 You know, the front office at 7:45 in the morning uh is a first adult voice. 00:07:33.920 --> 00:07:36.079 A lot of families here on a day-to-day basis. 00:07:36.319 --> 00:07:42.639 The lunchroom, when it gets loud, is a lesson in how us as adults handle chaos. 00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:51.439 The hallway conversation two teachers have about a student when they think nobody's listening, that is also a lesson, too. 00:07:51.680 --> 00:08:01.920 Somebody is always listening, somebody is always watching, somebody is always observing and paying attention to how we maneuver ourselves as educators. 00:08:02.160 --> 00:08:07.120 Think about the parent who walks in the front office upset, or a kid is sitting in the chair by the door watching this parent. 00:08:07.360 --> 00:08:12.160 Now, I I I know some of your schools, you don't have upset parents that come in, so only our school. 00:08:12.399 --> 00:08:19.680 But if the adult behind the desk gets defensive and short, that kid learns this is how grown-ups handle conflict. 00:08:19.759 --> 00:08:28.879 There's been so many times a parent comes in just furious and they are disrespectful to me, they cuss me out, they say all types of crazy things. 00:08:28.959 --> 00:08:34.799 And in my head, I'm like, this is why your kid acts the way your kid acts. 00:08:36.000 --> 00:08:40.399 We our students are studying how adults handle conflict. 00:08:40.559 --> 00:08:49.840 If the adult says, I can tell you're frustrated, let me help you figure this out, that kid will learn something completely different than the one that just comes in cussing and fussing and all those things. 00:08:50.000 --> 00:08:54.480 Same office, same parent, two very different lessons that we are teaching our kids. 00:08:54.559 --> 00:08:57.919 And now I know the parents can come in and be disrespectful. 00:08:58.320 --> 00:09:07.679 But us as the adults, us as the professionals, us as whatever our position is in the school, must remain professional. 00:09:07.840 --> 00:09:21.600 And even though that student can learn these bad behaviors from their parent, they can also learn the good behaviors as they are watching and observing us respond to the negativity of um their parent. 00:09:22.320 --> 00:09:31.440 So, what I want us to try is every time that you have an interaction with a student this week, I want you to ask yourself one question. 00:09:32.639 --> 00:09:38.399 Would I say it exactly this way if the kid were standing right behind me? 00:09:39.200 --> 00:09:49.679 Some of us are going to get very quiet with the conversations we have about a kid, if the kid was there actually listening to how we may speak about some of these kids. 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:59.039 When students hear adults call a student that one, we all know that one, I was that one, they learn which kids are worth giving up on. 00:09:59.200 --> 00:10:07.279 When they hear adults talk about a colleague behind their back, they learn how people treat each other when they leave the room. 00:10:07.519 --> 00:10:15.360 So the hardest part is we can't leave this up to whoever happens to be calm or kind. 00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:19.440 The building has to decide on purpose what are our adults going to model? 00:10:19.759 --> 00:10:21.440 It's a simple way to start. 00:10:21.679 --> 00:10:26.559 At your next staff meeting, agree on two norms, write

them down, put them where everyone can see it. 00:10:26.639 --> 00:10:28.480 Here's two that you can borrow. 00:10:28.799 --> 00:10:35.759 First, we talk about students the way we would if their parents were standing right next to us. 00:10:36.000 --> 00:10:42.960 The second, when an adult makes a mistake in front of kids, we name it and we fix it. 00:10:44.000 --> 00:10:53.840 A norm is something that we need to make sure everyone can see, but they set the standard for how we act and conduct ourselves in the school. 00:10:54.399 --> 00:11:02.080 There are two moments in a day, in my opinion, that teach more about that that teach more than any other days. 00:11:02.320 --> 00:11:04.240 When you're frustrated and when you're wrong. 00:11:04.399 --> 00:11:06.559 So let's first start when you are frustrated. 00:11:06.720 --> 00:11:11.279 Kids learn what to do with big feelings by watching where adults put their big feelings. 00:11:11.519 --> 00:11:15.519 If you slam a stapler, when you're frustrated, kids learn to slam. 00:11:15.759 --> 00:11:20.320 If you say out loud, I'm frustrated now, so I'm going to take a breath before I answer. 00:11:20.559 --> 00:11:25.600 You have just taught emotional regulation without giving your kids a workshop. 00:11:25.679 --> 00:11:27.039 You've taught it in real time. 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:29.440 Now when you're wrong. 00:11:29.679 --> 00:11:33.600 Picture a teacher who just snapped at a student in front of the entire class. 00:11:33.759 --> 00:11:35.440 It's been a long day. 00:11:35.919 --> 00:11:36.960 Tired as heck. 00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:39.519 Kid pushed a button, kid came in hot. 00:11:39.679 --> 00:11:46.960 The next morning, she pulls that student aside before the bell and says, You know, yesterday I was very short with you in front of everyone. 00:11:47.200 --> 00:11:48.399 And that's not fair to you. 00:11:48.480 --> 00:11:49.759 And I'm sorry. 00:11:50.159 --> 00:11:51.519 Kid shrugs it off. 00:11:51.759 --> 00:11:53.360 You know, it's cool. 00:11:54.080 --> 00:11:56.639 And that may seem like the end of it. 00:11:56.960 --> 00:12:07.360 But two weeks later, that kid bumps somebody's tray in the lunchroom, then stops and turns around, turns around and goes back and is like, My bad, that was my fault. 00:12:08.559 --> 00:12:19.759 That kid very well could have learned how to circle back and apologize just from that simple moment uh that took place in the classroom. 00:12:20.080 --> 00:12:26.320 And that apology that took you all of 15 seconds, a lot of us were really never taught to do that. 00:12:26.399 --> 00:12:40.960 And a lot of us as kids, I say us because I'm always like the 35 and up generation, have never, I don't really, I can't say I don't ever recall, because I'm sure a teacher did it at some point. 00:12:41.200 --> 00:12:44.879 But it was very rare that a teacher admitted they were wrong. 00:12:45.120 --> 00:12:52.559 Teachers always seem like they were right when we were kids, and I think there's power in a teacher apologizing and being wrong. 00:12:52.720 --> 00:12:57.919 Um, that's a teachable lesson for all of um the kids. 00:12:58.000 --> 00:13:01.039 And I would could even argue that it works the other way. 00:13:01.200 --> 00:13:09.440 An adult who tells the truth about him or herself earns the kind of trust that a perfect record never will. 00:13:09.679 --> 00:13:11.440 Kids know when we got it wrong. 00:13:11.519 --> 00:13:14.960 Um, they're just waiting to see if we if if we know it too. 00:13:15.360 --> 00:13:19.840 And now some of you are listening, you're like, great, I gotta be perfect with 30 kids watching me. 00:13:19.919 --> 00:13:22.000 And that is not what I am saying. 00:13:22.240 --> 00:13:27.840 Kids don't need a perfect adult, they need an adult to watch mess up and recover. 00:13:28.080 --> 00:13:37.679 Recovery, the recovery from the mistake is more what our kids learn from, and the recovery is what they're gonna need on their worst day. 00:13:37.919 --> 00:13:40.000 One way to practice this is just a do-over. 00:13:40.240 --> 00:13:41.679 You say something sharp, you catch it. 00:13:41.840 --> 00:13:43.600 Hold on, hold on, everyone. 00:13:43.759 --> 00:13:44.480 Let's pause. 00:13:44.639 --> 00:13:46.240 Let me try that again. 00:13:46.480 --> 00:13:50.320 Then you say it the way you had initially meant to say it. 00:13:50.559 --> 00:13:58.320 Takes 20, 30 seconds, and every kid in that room learned that it is okay to start over in a moment without starting the whole day over. 00:13:58.559 --> 00:14:02.879 We can't put grace on a vocabulary quiz and expect kids to understand it. 00:14:02.960 --> 00:14:05.519 They learn grace by watching someone give it. 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:10.559 Sometimes to them, sometimes uh to themselves, sometimes to other people. 00:14:12.240 --> 00:14:18.000 The preschoolers in that study at Stanford didn't need a lesson. 00:14:18.159 --> 00:14:21.519 It wasn't some elaborate lesson plan on how to treat that doll. 00:14:21.840 --> 00:14:24.639 They needed one adult to show them. 00:14:26.799 --> 00:14:34.240 Every building has culture, and the youngest people in the building are copying that culture every single day they walk through the door. 00:14:34.559 --> 00:14:47.200 So this week, I want us to pay as educators, I want us to pay attention to what we're modeling in the hallway, in the lounge, in the front office, in our classroom, outside, in the parking lot, at the playground, and especially in the middle of a hard moment. 00:14:47.600 --> 00:14:51.679 And here's what I will uh leave you with today. 00:14:52.480 --> 00:15:00.320 If your students copied exactly how you handled this last week, what would they have learned? 00:15:01.120 --> 00:15:05.440 What would they have learned if they copied exactly how you handled everything this week? 00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:10.240 Again, I want us to remember our kids learn more from what we do than what we say. 00:15:10.639 --> 00:15:18.799 So if this one you enjoyed this episode, uh please like, please subscribe, all those things that we ask you to do on a day on a week-to-week basis. 00:15:19.039 --> 00:15:24.000 But truly an honor that you have taken time out to lock in with me to join me. 00:15:24.080 --> 00:15:29.519 I don't ever take for granted that people uh tune in every Sunday as this comes live or whatever day you're listening to it. 00:15:29.679 --> 00:15:36.000 But I truly, truly appreciate uh you for spending this time with me today. 00:15:36.159 --> 00:15:39.120 Uh, you have been present for homeroom attendance. 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:42.080 Class is dismissed.