התמלול המלא של MIXTAPE: Evolving the Holidays Without Elevating the Chaos

--> 00:02:21.277 Yep. So our mixtapes, the idea is to take us back to conversations we've already 00:02:21.277 --> 00:02:26.467 had, but that listeners liked, and we add a new spin on them with an all-new 00:02:26.467 --> 00:02:30.482 conversation in our Patreon membership after hours. 00:02:31.109 --> 00:02:36.407 So today we're revisiting our 2024 episode. I mean, hello, 2024. 00:02:36.407 --> 00:02:37.727 It's craziness. I can't even. 00:02:37.727 --> 00:02:42.797 We have such a vault of awesome episodes, you guys, but the episode we're listening 00:02:42.797 --> 00:02:47.257 today is evolving the holidays without elevating the chaos. 00:02:47.257 --> 00:02:52.567 We talked about holiday traditions, grief, family changes, self-care, 00:02:52.567 --> 00:02:58.567 and we wrote a big fat permission slip for Lisa to give herself permission to 00:02:58.567 --> 00:03:00.567 stop doing all the things. 00:03:00.805 --> 00:03:07.742 Yes, you know, imitating the work that 20 Italian grandmas do in two weeks and 48 hours or, 00:03:08.496 --> 00:03:13.051 Channeling my mom and making a boost in a well from scratch? Like, what? I can't. 00:03:13.742 --> 00:03:15.106 Crazy. Did it bring you joy? 00:03:15.234 --> 00:03:18.554 Hell friggin' no, it did not bring me any joy. 00:03:20.348 --> 00:03:24.504 Whatsoever. And that is the key. No, we are all about our joy here at Drinks with the Girls. 00:03:24.684 --> 00:03:27.208 Well, and I'll tell you what. You know what brought me joy the next year? 00:03:27.208 --> 00:03:28.701 Was ordering it from a bakery. 00:03:29.294 --> 00:03:29.638 Nice. 00:03:29.638 --> 00:03:31.232 That brought me a lot of joy. 00:03:31.587 --> 00:03:33.668 See, that was a good lesson. Lesson learned. I'm saying. 00:03:33.668 --> 00:03:33.740 Anne. 00:03:34.318 --> 00:03:38.828 So after the replay, Patreon listeners can join us for The Rewind. 00:03:38.828 --> 00:03:43.428 It's an all-new conversation with Lisa and me that piggybacks on this one, 00:03:43.428 --> 00:03:50.658 and it was actually inspired by a podcast episode on Jen Hatmaker's podcast, 00:03:50.658 --> 00:03:52.662 For the Love, with the nester, 00:03:53.387 --> 00:03:58.808 Myklund Smith, and her practice of house hushing, because we're going to talk 00:03:58.808 --> 00:04:01.568 about how to make your life easier at the holidays. 00:04:01.568 --> 00:04:05.287 And I loved this idea of house hushing. 00:04:05.943 --> 00:04:06.837 It's hard to say. 00:04:07.678 --> 00:04:12.227 But the quote that really got me was where Mike Lynn said, of all the places 00:04:12.227 --> 00:04:17.221 in the world, wouldn't it be nice if we created a home that quietly welcomed us? 00:04:17.802 --> 00:04:21.029 And I think especially at the holidays, this is very apropos. 00:04:21.598 --> 00:04:25.137 Yeah, for sure. So we're going to talk about how the stuff in our homes creates 00:04:25.137 --> 00:04:30.973 more work than we realize and how clearing some of the clutter can help us create a

calmer holiday. 00:04:31.420 --> 00:04:36.250 It isn't minimalism. It's house hushing. Okay, the evil genius in me goes, 00:04:36.772 --> 00:04:42.927 is it like STFU or is it like casting a spell? So we'll find out, right? 00:04:43.447 --> 00:04:44.447 I think it could be either. 00:04:45.867 --> 00:04:51.131 STFU house. A shame-free twist on decluttering. And if you haven't heard about it, you need to. 00:04:51.659 --> 00:04:55.077 So pour yourself a drink, pull up a chair, and let's get into it. 00:04:55.077 --> 00:05:00.117 Welcome back, listeners. Yay, we're so happy to see you. So today we're diving 00:05:00.117 --> 00:05:06.467 into something we could all use this time of year. how to have healthier, happier holidays. 00:05:06.467 --> 00:05:13.056 Oh yeah, we've got tips for stress busting and keeping wellness in check without sacrificing the fun. 00:05:13.642 --> 00:05:17.687 Plus, we'll share personal stories. We all know the holidays come with both 00:05:17.687 --> 00:05:23.528 joy and chaos, but our goal today is to help you navigate it without losing your mind or your smile. 00:05:23.940 --> 00:05:27.647 Oh yeah, and before you think, oh my God, not another to-do list, 00:05:27.647 --> 00:05:29.710 please tweet Jesus, trust us. 00:05:30.707 --> 00:05:33.698 You can trust us now at this point. We feel you can trust us. 00:05:34.116 --> 00:05:38.187 We're talking practical, doable tips. And yep, there's even room for a little 00:05:38.187 --> 00:05:42.725 indulgence because being healthy shouldn't mean being miserable, right? 00:05:42.963 --> 00:05:47.270 And because we always like to leave you with takeaways and actionable information, 00:05:47.584 --> 00:05:51.367 we have something we think is going to be super helpful for you all to get through 00:05:51.367 --> 00:05:53.464 the holidays in a happier, healthier way. 00:05:53.580 --> 00:05:56.982 So before we dive in, Lisa, what are you drinking today? 00:05:57.261 --> 00:05:58.358 Okay. So, 00:05:59.153 --> 00:06:03.402 To set the scene, y'all, it's 8 a.m. in the morning and it's pitch black and 00:06:03.402 --> 00:06:05.241 pouring rain here in Oregon. 00:06:05.549 --> 00:06:09.542 So if we sound a little creaky, this is not our normal recording time. 00:06:09.542 --> 00:06:13.171 It's usually the evening, but we're flexible here at Drinks with the Girls. 00:06:13.514 --> 00:06:18.932 So I have a drink here and then I have my husband on the way to Starbucks to 00:06:18.932 --> 00:06:20.862 get me a reinforcement coffee. 00:06:20.862 --> 00:06:29.651 So I am drinking Clean Talks tea with an energy fizz stick, otherwise known as an Arbonne Tizzy. 00:06:29.773 --> 00:06:35.114 It's a milk thistle-based tea that helps detox your liver and your kidneys. 00:06:35.456 --> 00:06:40.202 And then I have a mango peach energy fizz. And if you could look at Karen right 00:06:40.202 --> 00:06:45.238 now, she's trying to de-snarkify her face and not at all successfully. 00:06:45.772 --> 00:06:52.952 I do not have a good poker face. girl i have so many things to say about just what you just said but 00:06:52.952 --> 00:06:58.632 Please share i won't no share we we hey come on we got to share you talk. 00:06:58.632 --> 00:07:00.122 For finding your liver and then 00:07:00.122 --> 00:07:04.562 you're going to get the starbucks like frappuccino bappuccino mappuccino 00:07:05.182 --> 00:07:10.332 Everything in moderation it's oat milk thank you very much and it's going to 00:07:10.332 --> 00:07:18.042 be a blonde and i've cut the sugar down so you know i'm cleaning my body out before, 00:07:18.502 --> 00:07:21.140 I put shit in it it makes sense to me. 00:07:22.580 --> 00:07:27.882 I love it too because whenever I ask you what you're drinking it is it it takes a good three minutes 00:07:28.582 --> 00:07:30.082 And you're just like I'm drinking, 00:07:32.162 --> 00:07:35.026 I love you I love you too what are you drinking lovey. 00:07:35.954 --> 00:07:41.718 Oh, my God. I am drinking my favorite beverage in the world, hot coffee. 00:07:41.945 --> 00:07:47.273 And I'm actually drinking, I started doing mushroom coffee. Well, it's kind of a shooter. 00:07:47.273 --> 00:07:48.034 Yeah, yeah. 00:07:48.371 --> 00:07:51.494 Yeah. I add my mushroom coffee to my coffee. 00:07:52.158 --> 00:07:55.972 But instead of drinking like five cups of coffee that I would normally do, 00:07:56.303 --> 00:08:00.313 I just continue to add hot water a couple times. And so it's like I'm drinking 00:08:00.313 --> 00:08:03.784 a couple cups of coffee, but I'm not getting any extra caffeine or anything. So. 00:08:04.057 --> 00:08:07.029 I should send you some mushroom powder so you can just like, 00:08:07.714 --> 00:08:09.101 sure, let's get in there. 00:08:09.763 --> 00:08:13.783 All right. Yep. Moving right along in our 10 minute, what are you drinking section 00:08:13.783 --> 00:08:16.532 that's supposed to be 30 seconds. All right. 00:08:16.636 --> 00:08:20.433 Let's kick it off with a lightning round. We haven't done this in a while, 00:08:20.433 --> 00:08:24.003 but your favorite animated Christmas special or holiday special. 00:08:24.299 --> 00:08:28.403 So I'm going to go with the lesser known, of course, Rankin and Bass, 00:08:28.403 --> 00:08:30.673 because we all love our Rankin and Bass at the holidays. 00:08:30.940 --> 00:08:34.553 The year without a Santa Claus, because frankly, you just can't go wrong with 00:08:34.553 --> 00:08:40.199 the earworm sung by heat and snow misers, followed closely by the classic Rudolph 00:08:40.431 --> 00:08:42.091 the Red-Nosed Reindeer. And you? 00:08:42.774 --> 00:08:46.857 Very good. I'd have to say Santa Claus is Coming to Town. That's a good one. 00:08:46.857 --> 00:08:51.998 What about your favorite holiday movie, this regular movie? Mine is A Christmas Story. 00:08:52.265 --> 00:09:00.198 Okay, so last year we were in Colorado and this hotel every year does this crazy, 00:09:00.454 --> 00:09:06.247 like no

joke, warehouse size room with ice sculptures. 00:09:06.247 --> 00:09:10.377 And they have a theme every single year and everything is carved from ice. 00:09:10.377 --> 00:09:12.017 And guess what the theme was last year? 00:09:12.377 --> 00:09:17.717 A Christmas story. We're talking ice sculptures, like the house right down to 00:09:17.717 --> 00:09:24.647 the kid licking the pole and the dogs eating the turkey, all made of ice. It was believable. 00:09:25.067 --> 00:09:28.557 I'll have to send you some pictures, but it was bananas. It takes them three 00:09:28.557 --> 00:09:30.267 months to do it every year. So you would have loved it. 00:09:30.307 --> 00:09:30.617 Oh, I'm sure. 00:09:30.767 --> 00:09:35.037 Yeah, it was really good. So for me, I saw a couple of years ago, 00:09:35.037 --> 00:09:40.677 one that was super fun called Violent Night with David Harbour and John Leguizamo. 00:09:40.677 --> 00:09:43.567 It's like kind of like Die Hard, but with Santa Claus. 00:09:44.507 --> 00:09:49.698 So super fun and Beverly D'Angelo. Yeah, it was fun. So something different. 00:09:49.965 --> 00:09:54.765 Okay, next question. Favorite holiday song and or carol? 00:09:56.108 --> 00:09:58.712 My favorite Christmas carol is Oh Holy Night. 00:09:58.712 --> 00:09:59.537 So beautiful. 00:09:59.850 --> 00:10:04.352 Always. And my favorite song, I mean, it just depends on my mood. 00:10:04.352 --> 00:10:08.982 I always have Christmas songs playing after December 1st, not to people who 00:10:08.982 --> 00:10:11.181 are. I'm one of those people. 00:10:11.518 --> 00:10:12.551 But I really. 00:10:13.033 --> 00:10:18.612 Yes I love them all but what comes to mind is Last Christmas by Wham because 00:10:18.612 --> 00:10:19.819 who does not love George Michael 00:10:20.469 --> 00:10:25.112 White Christmas by Bing Crosby classic and one of my favorites is the mashup 00:10:25.112 --> 00:10:29.632 duet by Bing Crosby and David Bowie Peace on Earth Little Drummer Boy it's always 00:10:29.632 --> 00:10:31.102 a good one but what about you yeah 00:10:31.102 --> 00:10:36.189 I like the traditional ones but of course my Backstreet Boys, 00:10:36.648 --> 00:10:41.019 love my Backstreet Boys, redid Wham's last Christmas last year and I was in heaven. 00:10:41.298 --> 00:10:46.212 I actually have a friend on Facebook who every year has this contest and you 00:10:46.212 --> 00:10:50.319 have to go in. It's kind of like Christmas version of Killer, right? 00:10:50.487 --> 00:10:54.963 And so you go in there and you try to get through the holiday season without, 00:10:55.652 --> 00:10:57.626 hearing Wham's last Christmas. 00:10:57.922 --> 00:11:00.982 And then if you hear it, you have to post in the group that you're out. 00:11:00.982 --> 00:11:06.032 And it's hysterical in terms of what people do to avoid here. Yeah, it's really fun. 00:11:06.368 --> 00:11:11.822 So yeah, so Last Christmas, but I love Good Call on the Bing Crosby, 00:11:11.822 --> 00:11:16.440 David Bowie duet. It was so beautiful. It kind of bridges those classics with newer stuff. 00:11:16.968 --> 00:11:21.902 But I also love fun stuff like Adam Sandler's The Hanukkah Song too as well. 00:11:21.902 --> 00:11:23.261 If you haven't heard that, it's great. 00:11:23.923 --> 00:11:24.822 Oh, that is a fun one. 00:11:25.704 --> 00:11:29.500 Okay, next. What about favorite holiday memories growing up? 00:11:29.895 --> 00:11:36.439 Mine, I'll go first. Mine is probably when my sister got a horse for Christmas. 00:11:36.439 --> 00:11:40.689 So we were horse people growing up. We didn't play soccer, softball or anything. We rode horses. 00:11:40.689 --> 00:11:41.309 Yes, we did. 00:11:41.309 --> 00:11:47.189 And so one year, my sister got a horse and my mom tied him to the tree in the 00:11:47.189 --> 00:11:48.628 front yard Christmas morning. 00:11:49.330 --> 00:11:54.179 And my mom was a teacher. My stepdad was often between jobs, but you'd never know it. 00:11:54.179 --> 00:11:57.789 By the way, my mom just made the holidays so magical. But how do they think 00:11:57.789 --> 00:12:00.499 about it? I'm pretty sure my grandma helped her buy that little pony, 00:12:00.499 --> 00:12:05.989 but he was white with cute little black spots on his butt and he had a big red bow around his neck. 00:12:06.721 --> 00:12:08.939 And I mean, the whole thing was like out of a movie, you know, 00:12:08.939 --> 00:12:12.959 like what kid doesn't want to wake up and find a horse in their front yard on Christmas morning? 00:12:13.399 --> 00:12:18.569 I can't even wrap my head around that. That's like, oh my gosh. 00:12:18.569 --> 00:12:21.180 I mean, that was like my fantasy. 00:12:21.979 --> 00:12:25.519 Yeah. Right. especially for I think girls too maybe boys I don't know but yeah 00:12:25.519 --> 00:12:29.619 I think yeah it was just it was it was pretty well and it wasn't even my gift 00:12:29.619 --> 00:12:31.669 it was for my sister but I you know it was just 00:12:32.134 --> 00:12:37.155 such a fantastic memory but that's crazy I have to say my mom loved being extra 00:12:37.410 --> 00:12:38.639 on holidays like you know 00:12:39.523 --> 00:12:42.999 I'm sure she maxed out her credit cards to make everything happen but like she 00:12:42.999 --> 00:12:47.739 loved the white flocked Christmas trees with that stringy tinsel everywhere 00:12:47.739 --> 00:12:50.769 and it was such a mess and terrible for the environment, but we didn't know 00:12:50.769 --> 00:12:53.087 it back then, right? And it just made her so happy. 00:12:53.720 --> 00:12:57.842 But simple things like that remind me of my mom. And it makes... 00:12:58.657 --> 00:12:59.267 What about yours? 00:12:59.714 --> 00:13:05.318 So I would say mine has to be our just talk about extra. Oh, 00:13:05.318 --> 00:13:08.188 my God. Okay. I've never loved my husband more. Everybody ready? 00:13:08.188 --> 00:13:10.006 You won't see this, but you'll feel this. 00:13:14.648 --> 00:13:19.068 The Starbucks just descended

into my hand. I love you, honey. 00:13:19.068 --> 00:13:20.502 Bye. Oh, my gosh. 00:13:20.978 --> 00:13:21.994 And breathe. Okay. 00:13:22.133 --> 00:13:23.388 Happy. You're so lucky. 00:13:23.868 --> 00:13:28.248 I know. I know. That was part of our wedding vows, practically. 00:13:28.248 --> 00:13:30.438 Was that he'd make me a cup of tea every morning. Because, I mean, 00:13:30.438 --> 00:13:35.038 when you're married to a Brit, like, hello, you got to take advantage of when you can. Anyways. 00:13:35.038 --> 00:13:37.628 But he goes out into the pouring rain. 00:13:38.028 --> 00:13:38.498 I know. 00:13:38.498 --> 00:13:39.188 To go get you your Starbucks. 00:13:39.328 --> 00:13:40.478 In the dark. I know. 00:13:40.478 --> 00:13:41.548 We love him. I know. 00:13:41.548 --> 00:13:42.764 We totally love him. 00:13:43.530 --> 00:13:47.234 Squirrel. Okay. So Christmas Eve. So Christmas Eve, talk about extra. 00:13:47.234 --> 00:13:51.224 Holy mother of God. We had this whole Italian thing going on because for those 00:13:51.224 --> 00:13:55.754 of you that don't know me, I'm half Italian. Like my great grandmother was off 00:13:55.754 --> 00:13:57.060 the boat, like half Italian. 00:13:57.548 --> 00:14:03.144 And so what we do is we lived in southern Los Angeles, which was north of where 00:14:03.144 --> 00:14:06.214 Karen was, but definitely not the valley in Hollywood and all that. 00:14:06.214 --> 00:14:11.134 So we would drive up there from our home and go to my aunts and uncles in the 00:14:11.134 --> 00:14:14.984 valley and we would make the traditional feast of the seven fishes. 00:14:14.984 --> 00:14:18.335 And my cousins and I would always put on some silly Christmas play, 00:14:18.707 --> 00:14:21.342 usually at my instigating, naturally, shocker. 00:14:21.789 --> 00:14:24.675 And then we would drive home afterwards when it was late at night, right? 00:14:25.063 --> 00:14:28.774 Right. And I remember back in the days before mandatory car seats. 00:14:28.774 --> 00:14:32.140 Oh, my God, the things that we used to do. 00:14:32.529 --> 00:14:37.314 So we had a Mazda hatchback and my parents would put the back seat down and 00:14:37.314 --> 00:14:40.714 they would make a little bed for us. Right. And I would fall asleep watching 00:14:40.714 --> 00:14:43.104 the stars because, of course, I would be looking out the hatchback. 00:14:43.104 --> 00:14:46.879 Right. And I could see the stars as we drive home because Southern California. Right. Never rains. 00:14:47.256 --> 00:14:52.074 And I would just, I remember just desperately trying to keep my eyes open because 00:14:52.074 --> 00:14:55.864 I was going to spot Santa on the way home. And I always fell asleep every single 00:14:55.864 --> 00:15:01.474 time. But I just, that feeling, I just, it's instantly I'm back there when I think about it. 00:15:01.474 --> 00:15:05.514 I love that. That's so cute. Yeah, I can just envision you just watching for 00:15:05.514 --> 00:15:09.514 Santa in the sky. Yeah, it's the memories like these, those little moments of 00:15:09.514 --> 00:15:12.013 magic that really make the holidays special, right? Yeah. 00:15:12.697 --> 00:15:15.671 Is there something that is still a tradition for you that your family, 00:15:15.671 --> 00:15:17.858 that you guys do over the holidays every year? 00:15:18.328 --> 00:15:23.391 So I have to be honest and say that that is something that still holds a great 00:15:23.391 --> 00:15:25.271 deal of sadness for me, you know. 00:15:25.271 --> 00:15:29.441 And I think it's because we had so many traditions that have fallen by the wayside. 00:15:29.441 --> 00:15:33.521 I mean, the Italian thing, like there is like clockwork with all the holidays, 00:15:33.521 --> 00:15:35.731 these huge from 4th to July, all of it. Right. 00:15:36.350 --> 00:15:40.271 And as family members have come and gone or moved away and as my kids have gotten 00:15:40.271 --> 00:15:42.501 older, you know, that's kind of fallen by the way. 00:15:42.501 --> 00:15:47.181 Side. But one of my favorite ones that used to happen was years ago here in 00:15:47.181 --> 00:15:51.601 town, there was a section of these redonkulous houses with massive multiple 00:15:51.601 --> 00:15:53.671 acre yards. Like we don't have McMansions up here. 00:15:54.371 --> 00:15:57.229 It doesn't work that way. Right. But these houses were huge, 00:15:57.450 --> 00:15:59.651 like multiple acre yards. 00:15:59.651 --> 00:16:04.121 And they would put on these bananas light displays. Like I'm talking like every 00:16:04.121 --> 00:16:11.179 section of the house outline, like out on the lawn, like life-size crushes, like it was insanity. 00:16:11.469 --> 00:16:14.691 And so we would always drive over there a few times during the season for the 00:16:14.691 --> 00:16:16.972 kids to see what they call them the big lights, right? 00:16:17.373 --> 00:16:20.176 But they don't really do it anymore. Some of the houses have been sold. 00:16:20.385 --> 00:16:23.071 So again, that's kind of fallen by the wayside. What about you? 00:16:23.071 --> 00:16:26.568 I'm sure some similar things have impacted your holiday celebrations. 00:16:26.707 --> 00:16:29.991 One of the things that we did, what I did growing up that I carried on with 00:16:29.991 --> 00:16:33.211 my kids, and I think a lot of people might have this similar tradition, 00:16:33.211 --> 00:16:37.539 but we'd load up in the car, we'd grab a hot chocolate, and we'd drive around 00:16:37.975 --> 00:16:39.925 the neighborhood just looking for lights. 00:16:40.453 --> 00:16:43.541 And even when my kids were teenagers, we'd still try to do it, 00:16:43.541 --> 00:16:45.781 although it gets harder and harder with their schedules and that. 00:16:45.781 --> 00:16:50.227 But I just think it was so impactful on me as a kid and then as an adult because 00:16:50.499 --> 00:16:54.041 it didn't have anything to do with money or racing around doing this or that. 00:16:54.041 --> 00:16:56.786 It was

just literally all of us spending time together. 00:16:57.332 --> 00:17:00.571 And as my kids got older, times like that were just more precious because, 00:17:00.571 --> 00:17:03.141 you know, it's hard to get teens to want to hang out with you sometimes. 00:17:03.141 --> 00:17:06.641 But this was just something that everyone loved. And it was literally so simple. 00:17:06.641 --> 00:17:09.041 That's so awesome. Love it. But, 00:17:09.698 --> 00:17:12.644 You know, the holidays really are triggering, you know, for me, 00:17:12.644 --> 00:17:17.766 for you and for a lot of people. Frankly, it's just it's such an amped up time in so many ways. 00:17:18.370 --> 00:17:22.494 For sure. Loss and grief, relationship challenges, loneliness, 00:17:22.494 --> 00:17:26.174 financial strain. And I mean, just the overall stress, I think, 00:17:26.174 --> 00:17:31.820 especially for women. And, you know, sometimes family gatherings can be complicated. 00:17:32.099 --> 00:17:37.134 Yeah, no, for sure. One of my hardest holidays was right after my mom passed 00:17:37.134 --> 00:17:38.897 away. she passed away in October. 00:17:39.291 --> 00:17:42.837 So, you know, Thanksgiving was, you know, basically a month later and it was 00:17:43.017 --> 00:17:47.904 brutal. It just, I just remember we were like comatose. We didn't even cook. 00:17:47.904 --> 00:17:52.183 I honestly, I think we might've even eaten fast food. It was crazy. So rough. 00:17:52.717 --> 00:17:56.214 And honestly, for me, one of the most difficult things about my mom's passing 00:17:56.214 --> 00:18:00.654 is that she was really the engine behind all of these huge holiday celebrations 00:18:00.654 --> 00:18:02.260 we used to have as a family. 00:18:02.876 --> 00:18:08.424 And they were very connected, very large, very traditional and just lots of 00:18:08.424 --> 00:18:09.674 really amazing memories. 00:18:09.674 --> 00:18:13.394 And it's really just down to my immediate family now, my dad at this point. 00:18:13.394 --> 00:18:17.914 So it's one of the big reasons I'm super excited for my cousin to move up here. I can't wait. 00:18:18.554 --> 00:18:22.954 I think that is so common. You know, I think the women really are the glue holding 00:18:22.954 --> 00:18:24.099 everything all together. 00:18:24.755 --> 00:18:29.034 And I felt that too when my mom died. I mean, I was 26, newly married, 00:18:29.034 --> 00:18:31.593 like literally I got married. 00:18:32.127 --> 00:18:34.834 Well, she died six days after I got married. So I was brand new married. 00:18:34.834 --> 00:18:36.934 Oh my God. I didn't know that. Wow. 00:18:37.555 --> 00:18:39.865 Yeah, that's a whole other story. 00:18:40.968 --> 00:18:44.408 My name is Karen Shatafian, and I am a shameless coffee addict, 00:18:44.408 --> 00:18:48.061 an empowerment coach for women, and my love language is authenticity. 00:18:48.415 --> 00:18:52.746 My mission is helping women unapologetically design a life they're in love with. 00:18:53.077 --> 00:18:56.498 Because what the hell are we waiting for? My website, KarenShatafian.com, 00:18:56.498 --> 00:19:00.722 has all my coaching packages and free offers like my midlife reclamation guide. 00:19:01.018 --> 00:19:04.718 In it, you'll find tools to help you decide how to create the most inspired 00:19:04.718 --> 00:19:07.398 and empowered version of yourself and your life. 00:19:07.856 --> 00:19:11.608 You can find me on Facebook and Instagram talking about ways women can show 00:19:11.608 --> 00:19:14.880 up for themselves after decades of showing up for everyone else. 00:19:15.391 --> 00:19:19.095 Join me as we throw off the shackles and live our best freaking lives. 00:19:19.466 --> 00:19:23.088 See the show notes for all the details. Cheers. I tried to step, 00:19:23.088 --> 00:19:27.969 I was the oldest, oldest child, oldest daughter. So I tried to step into that role of like kind of 00:19:28.614 --> 00:19:32.317 keeping it all together. But it definitely took me time before I knew what I 00:19:32.317 --> 00:19:35.587 was doing. And, you know, everybody has their own emotions that they're dealing 00:19:35.587 --> 00:19:38.837 with. And kind of like, some people don't even want to celebrate it. 00:19:38.837 --> 00:19:40.595 Like, they don't even, they don't want to do anything, right? 00:19:40.705 --> 00:19:44.017 So, you know, one of my toughest holidays, although, I mean, 00:19:44.786 --> 00:19:46.627 That one was pretty rough right after my mom died. 00:19:46.627 --> 00:19:50.497 But one of my toughest ones was right after my separation. It was just a pretty 00:19:50.497 --> 00:19:55.597 chaotic time. My ex and I were going through all the emotions while still trying 00:19:55.597 --> 00:19:57.534 to keep a sense of holiday normalcy. 00:19:57.726 --> 00:20:01.017 But my kids were young adults, so they could like make their own decisions. 00:20:01.017 --> 00:20:03.502 And my daughter, she just dipped out altogether. 00:20:03.891 --> 00:20:06.555 And she went out of town with my ex-sister-in-law's family. 00:20:06.979 --> 00:20:10.927 And my son spent Christmas Eve with me and then Christmas Day with his dad. 00:20:10.927 --> 00:20:14.177 And it was literally the loneliest Christmas day of my life. 00:20:14.177 --> 00:20:18.032 And it just breaks my heart thinking of my son, you know, being the oldest. 00:20:18.386 --> 00:20:21.377 And his sister kind of leaves. And so he's here just trying to handle all the 00:20:21.377 --> 00:20:24.847 feelings. And, you know, he never wants to let anyone down. So just trying to 00:20:24.847 --> 00:20:28.635 help his parents feel okay, you know, when things were just definitely not okay. 00:20:29.013 --> 00:20:32.786 Poor guy. God, that's hard. I can't even imagine. 00:20:33.082 --> 00:20:37.117 Yeah. I mean, bottom line is I think we build the holiday season up to be such 00:20:37.117 --> 00:20:40.187 a defining like storybook thing. 00:20:40.541 --> 00:20:44.607 And when it doesn't live up to that,

it's rough. Plus there's people out there 00:20:44.607 --> 00:20:49.457 that either have no family, toxic families, or some version in between, right? 00:20:49.457 --> 00:20:53.487 And the holidays just make that amplified. Family dynamics can make things tricky. 00:20:53.487 --> 00:20:57.527 There's just no doubt. And that's why setting boundaries is so important. 00:20:57.527 --> 00:21:01.097 You have to give yourself permission to say no to conversations or topics or 00:21:01.097 --> 00:21:05.166 even gatherings that push your buttons. And that can be a lifesaver. 00:21:05.915 --> 00:21:10.890 Absolutely. Yes, for sure. And permission to not do all the things. 00:21:11.296 --> 00:21:14.117 I know there's a lot of pressure to make everything magical, 00:21:14.117 --> 00:21:15.516 especially if you have children. And, 00:21:16.270 --> 00:21:20.685 But listeners, here's your permission slip to give yourself a break and to just 00:21:20.685 --> 00:21:23.031 to take some things off your list. 00:21:23.536 --> 00:21:29.051 And I just want to add a disclaimer here. If the holidays are hard for you, we see you. 00:21:29.742 --> 00:21:33.515 They honestly aren't my favorite time of year. And that sucks to say that, 00:21:33.515 --> 00:21:36.865 you know, I want to feel happy and joyful and merry, you know, 00:21:36.865 --> 00:21:39.645 but it just brings up a lot, kind of like we've talked about. 00:21:40.348 --> 00:21:44.605 Everything around us from tv ads to instagram posts you show us perfect families 00:21:44.605 --> 00:21:49.554 with perfect homes and perfect holiday traditions and that is an impossible standard to live up to 00:21:50.326 --> 00:21:53.105 and i think a lot of people struggle at this time of year for a multitude of 00:21:53.105 --> 00:21:57.821 reasons and listeners we want you to know that it's okay it's okay to not feel 00:21:58.053 --> 00:22:03.277 merry and jolly at this time and it's okay to not feel like this is the happiest time of the year 00:22:04.003 --> 00:22:07.435 it's honestly a time that people struggle a lot with loneliness and depression. 00:22:07.435 --> 00:22:09.547 So if this is you, we see you. 00:22:09.860 --> 00:22:13.419 And please, please don't be afraid to reach out for help or support. 00:22:13.813 --> 00:22:15.375 Yeah, yeah, for sure. 00:22:16.189 --> 00:22:21.975 Agreed, agreed. So let's switch gears a bit and explore how other cultures celebrate 00:22:21.975 --> 00:22:25.695 the holidays because it's often super inspiring to see different ways that people 00:22:25.695 --> 00:22:28.065 find joy and avoid stress. 00:22:28.065 --> 00:22:31.437 So Karen, what do you got for me from the Drinks with the Girls research? 00:22:31.907 --> 00:22:37.196 This is my favorite. Did you know in Japan, Christmas is more like Valentine's Day. 00:22:37.538 --> 00:22:43.115 Couples go out for romantic dinners and KFC, nice, is the thing to eat. 00:22:43.115 --> 00:22:47.025 People pre-order buckets of fried chicken months in advance. 00:22:47.025 --> 00:22:48.550 Like this is right up my alley. 00:22:48.794 --> 00:22:53.705 Not spending hours shopping, prepping, cooking, and cleaning. Just order KFC. Sign me. 00:22:53.705 --> 00:22:57.135 That's probably what we should have done that Thanksgiving after my mom passed 00:22:57.135 --> 00:23:01.211 away. But yeah, no, I love that idea. Just order food, door dash it, 00:23:01.577 --> 00:23:03.115 and skip the stress of cooking. 00:23:03.695 --> 00:23:10.905 So another one is in Iceland. They have the Yule lads who leave gifts in shoes. 00:23:10.905 --> 00:23:15.185 I've had some gifts in shoes before, but from my dogs and my cats, 00:23:15.185 --> 00:23:16.849 those aren't the kind of gifts anybody wants. 00:23:17.162 --> 00:23:20.790 Anyways, but if you're on the naughty list, you get a rotten potato. 00:23:22.427 --> 00:23:27.985 That's crazy. And of course, in Italy, from my peeps, there's the Feast of the Seven Fishes. 00:23:27.985 --> 00:23:32.165 And my family still does a miniature version of this. We're eliminating fishes 00:23:32.165 --> 00:23:36.445 yearly. I think we're down to the two and a half fishes feast at this point, 00:23:36.445 --> 00:23:38.756 but it's one of my favorite traditions. 00:23:39.093 --> 00:23:43.525 And the stories my dad tells of how they used to do it are bananas, right? 00:23:43.525 --> 00:23:46.912 So they would start, my great-grandmother lived in Hollywood in this old, 00:23:47.435 --> 00:23:52.255 there's a famous kind of style in old Hollywood where she had this huge riverstone 00:23:52.255 --> 00:23:57.085 porch out in front and it's kind of this bungalow and it's a pretty unique style 00:23:57.085 --> 00:24:00.838 because of course now they've made room for all sorts of other prefab stuff. But at any rate, 00:24:01.518 --> 00:24:04.091 I have some memories there, but they're when I was really tiny. 00:24:04.091 --> 00:24:08.222 So they would start cooking. And when I say they, it was all the women, naturally. 00:24:08.582 --> 00:24:13.941 They would start cooking two weeks before, legit, weeks before, right? 00:24:13.941 --> 00:24:16.266 I'm already tired. Dude, tired just hearing that. 00:24:16.418 --> 00:24:22.301 We're talking cannoli shells from scratch, like no joke, okay? 00:24:22.301 --> 00:24:24.167 Like all of the things, right? 00:24:24.568 --> 00:24:27.641 And then the celebration itself would go into the wee hours of the night and 00:24:27.641 --> 00:24:33.011 sometimes through until Christmas Day. And again, we even made those homemade 00:24:33.011 --> 00:24:36.421 cannolis. I say we, but from scratch, my great aunt would do it. 00:24:36.421 --> 00:24:38.615 We got to fill them. That was about all we were good for. 00:24:38.953 --> 00:24:42.991 And honestly, by the time I was a young adult, like I remember that's still 00:24:42.991 --> 00:24:46.221 the thing, like is some people in my family will make them and freeze them. 00:24:46.533 --> 00:24:51.457

And that's kind of like our nod to what it was. But yeah, it was bananas bonkers. 00:24:52.100 --> 00:24:55.591 That sounds so fun. I love it. I think it's important that we remember that 00:24:55.591 --> 00:25:00.151 the holidays are supposed to be about joy and having fun. And if they're not 00:25:00.151 --> 00:25:01.421 fun, like, what's the point? 00:25:01.421 --> 00:25:01.853 Hello. 00:25:02.347 --> 00:25:05.721 You know, I think the holidays can leave women, especially, feeling drained 00:25:05.721 --> 00:25:10.271 and burnt out if we're not careful and if we're not intentional about it. 00:25:10.271 --> 00:25:12.140 Because remember, it's our holiday, too. 00:25:12.790 --> 00:25:17.981 Amen, sister. Yeah, one of the biggest game changers for me was when I gave 00:25:17.981 --> 00:25:23.045 myself permission to rethink our traditions and to try to establish new ones. 00:25:23.504 --> 00:25:28.461 It's such a triggering season for me that I've really had to rethink a lot of 00:25:28.461 --> 00:25:32.441 it and sometimes just bailing like your daughter did and dipped out, 00:25:32.441 --> 00:25:34.539 right? Just get out of town, traveling, traveling. 00:25:35.304 --> 00:25:38.946 That has helped me reset a particular holiday. And I get that. 00:25:38.946 --> 00:25:42.886 I have privilege. I can do that. But just doing something completely different 00:25:42.886 --> 00:25:45.706 has helped me sometimes when I'm just, I can't deal. 00:25:45.706 --> 00:25:50.246 I think the key word that you said is permission. I think for us as women, 00:25:50.693 --> 00:25:55.546 as the chaos tamers and the ones holding everything all together, 00:25:55.546 --> 00:25:58.686 I think it's important that we give ourselves permission to kind of let go of 00:25:58.686 --> 00:25:59.970 some of these things and figure out, 00:26:01.456 --> 00:26:05.560 what change could I make that would still make me and my loved ones happy. 00:26:06.036 --> 00:26:11.886 I think one important self-care tool during the holidays, and really any time for me, is movement. 00:26:12.507 --> 00:26:16.196 And I'm not going to say exercise because I can already hear our listeners like, 00:26:16.196 --> 00:26:19.016 how the heck do I have time to exercise during the holidays? 00:26:19.016 --> 00:26:22.521 And believe me, I would say the same thing if I heard myself saying that. 00:26:23.078 --> 00:26:28.186 And I felt that way too. I tend to overcomplicate exercise and thinking, 00:26:28.186 --> 00:26:31.664 okay, if I'm not on my spin bike or lifting weights, that it doesn't count. 00:26:32.134 --> 00:26:35.826 But now I just focus on simply moving my body in a way that feels good, 00:26:35.826 --> 00:26:40.226 like a morning walk outside, especially like now it's the finally in Southern 00:26:40.226 --> 00:26:42.473 California, the temperatures are cooling off. 00:26:43.198 --> 00:26:48.707 And when it's crisp and cold, I just love that. It just helps get my blood pumping and my brain moving. 00:26:49.664 --> 00:26:50.883 My brain thinking. 00:26:52.183 --> 00:26:57.019 Let me tell you, listeners, at 8 a.m. recording the podcast is a miracle, 00:26:57.280 --> 00:26:58.458 just saying, for both of us. 00:26:59.056 --> 00:27:02.156 But I also love a good dance party. Oh, yeah. 00:27:02.592 --> 00:27:05.215 I have a sign in my kitchen that says, this kitchen is for dancing. 00:27:05.215 --> 00:27:07.299 And so I always have the music on in there. 00:27:07.526 --> 00:27:10.995 And it's also one of the ways I give myself a break during my workday. 00:27:10.995 --> 00:27:15.890 I'll stop for 10 minutes and just literally give myself permission to have a little dance party. 00:27:16.429 --> 00:27:19.915 I love it. Getting outside for fresh air, even when it's freezing, 00:27:19.915 --> 00:27:21.503 makes such a difference in your mood. 00:27:22.084 --> 00:27:24.775 We're kind of challenged here because in Oregon in the wintertime, 00:27:24.775 --> 00:27:29.295 it rains a lot. And we also get big ice storms. We're not, we don't get a lot 00:27:29.295 --> 00:27:32.225 of snow. We get like fun snow. Like it shows up for three days and leaves. 00:27:32.225 --> 00:27:33.734 It's the ice that's a bugger. 00:27:34.164 --> 00:27:39.225 And it can be challenging to get outside. So I'm trying to push myself more 00:27:39.225 --> 00:27:42.065 to do that, even when the weather isn't cooperating. 00:27:42.065 --> 00:27:45.475 But it's not easy, especially on days like today where you're like, 00:27:45.475 --> 00:27:49.245 oh, it's pitch black and it's bucketing down rain. Okay. 00:27:49.884 --> 00:27:54.945 Time for a dance party. I love it. You know, another big one for me is sleep. 00:27:55.265 --> 00:27:55.619 Oh, yeah. 00:27:56.084 --> 00:28:00.485 And I've learned to prioritize my sleep. And this is kind of radical, 00:28:00.485 --> 00:28:05.999 I think, for women to prioritize sleep and rest, even during the holiday chaos. 00:28:06.602 --> 00:28:10.305 I've gotten really good over the last year or two to make sure that I get at 00:28:10.305 --> 00:28:13.555 least seven hours of sleep at night. And I, you know, not every night, 00:28:13.555 --> 00:28:15.233 and some days are different, but... 00:28:15.983 --> 00:28:20.778 Once I consciously started prioritizing my sleep, it made a difference. 00:28:21.184 --> 00:28:23.378 And the key is to not feel guilty about it. 00:28:23.849 --> 00:28:28.655 The key is to figure out how much sleep do I really need and then make it happen. 00:28:28.777 --> 00:28:32.518 You know, it might mean going to bed a little bit earlier and leaving some things 00:28:32.518 --> 00:28:35.868 undone, or it might mean not binging five episodes. 00:28:37.125 --> 00:28:38.228 Imagine that. 00:28:38.908 --> 00:28:43.028 Right. And I mean, I think especially because our sleep is so jacked anyway, 00:28:43.028 --> 00:28:46.898 because of perimenopause and menopause, it's like sleep is more important than ever. 00:28:46.898

--> 00:28:51.768 I went to a particular integrated physician who was like, sleep, 00:28:52.168 --> 00:28:55.768 number one thing in midlife, you have to get more sleep. 00:28:55.768 --> 00:29:00.018 And yeah, that's a whole other podcast episode. But at any rate, 00:29:00.018 --> 00:29:05.278 yeah, I ended up finally giving in a while ago because I literally was not sleeping. 00:29:05.278 --> 00:29:07.280 Like not just during the holidays, like never. 00:29:07.396 --> 00:29:14.653 And I was a basket case. Like I was crazy time, right? And I take prescription sleep meds. 00:29:15.558 --> 00:29:20.345 Lack of sleep is just something that I have had to put my foot down and do it 00:29:20.345 --> 00:29:25.085 because it just wrecks me, right? And so ever since I've done that, 00:29:25.085 --> 00:29:26.745 they're a specific kind. 00:29:27.145 --> 00:29:32.365 It has really, really helped me, and I don't need that extra worry, 00:29:33.225 --> 00:29:34.516 especially during the holidays. 00:29:34.661 --> 00:29:38.965 Hey there, I'm Lisa Coracella-McDell, your midlife Pacific Northwest princess, 00:29:38.965 --> 00:29:41.569 here to guide you in the art of next leveling your life. 00:29:42.039 --> 00:29:45.945 I'm passionate about women's health and wellness in midlife especially for moms 00:29:45.945 --> 00:29:48.106 parenting kids with unique needs like I do, 00:29:48.558 --> 00:29:52.855 I truly believe we can learn, grow, advocate and care for the planet while taking 00:29:52.855 --> 00:29:56.225 care of ourselves and our families and I'd love to help you do the same and 00:29:56.225 --> 00:30:00.790 I'm beyond excited to tell you about my membership for Maxed Out Mamas just like me, 00:30:01.057 --> 00:30:04.715 the Empowered Parent Collective it's a space for parents to confidently advocate 00:30:04.715 --> 00:30:09.035 for their kids build inclusive communities, educate themselves and find balance 00:30:09.035 --> 00:30:10.065 and support along the way 00:30:10.424 --> 00:30:13.495 To find out more about the Empowered Parent Collective, my classes, 00:30:13.495 --> 00:30:18.265 wellness offerings, parenting tips, advocacy resources, and exclusive drinks 00:30:18.265 --> 00:30:22.023 with the girls goodies, head to nextlevellifewithlisa.com. 00:30:22.417 --> 00:30:24.645 Let's survive and thrive in the messy middle together. 00:30:24.645 --> 00:30:28.425 Lack of sleep just makes us not our best selves. And I just want to say, 00:30:28.425 --> 00:30:31.792 too, props to you for recognizing what you needed today. 00:30:32.511 --> 00:30:37.375 And for for doing it, even if it means, you know, taking something, 00:30:37.375 --> 00:30:40.235 because I think as women, we're like, oh, no, I'm just going to power through 00:30:40.235 --> 00:30:42.865 and I'm and I'm, you know, but fuck that. 00:30:42.865 --> 00:30:47.085 I mean, we're at the stage in our lives where we can do whatever it takes to 00:30:47.085 --> 00:30:49.935 prioritize our well-being. And even if that means, you know, 00:30:49.935 --> 00:30:53.315 taking something, whether it's, you know, for depression, anxiety, 00:30:53.315 --> 00:30:56.270 sleep, whatever it is, it's like, just do what works. 00:30:56.683 --> 00:31:02.645 Yeah, it's weird because right before I said that, I a lot of times when I tell 00:31:02.645 --> 00:31:04.379 people that they just kind of look at me. 00:31:04.756 --> 00:31:09.522 Right. And so I think I have I mean, I'm clearly over it because I'm taking them. 00:31:09.963 --> 00:31:13.855 But there's definitely this thing that where people kind of try to shame you. 00:31:13.855 --> 00:31:17.645 And it's like, I promise you there's ways to do this that aren't bad. 00:31:17.645 --> 00:31:20.528 And let me tell you, you don't want to see me sleep deprived. 00:31:20.766 --> 00:31:27.565 It is not a pretty encounter for anyone involved. so people just need to back up just saying so. 00:31:28.025 --> 00:31:31.265 And here at drinks with the girls we are shame busting things like that so 00:31:31.785 --> 00:31:37.415 you we are not going to shame women for doing whatever they need to do to prioritize 00:31:37.415 --> 00:31:42.419 their health their mental health and their well-being here here and you know i love 00:31:42.698 --> 00:31:47.925 scheduling little self-care rituals like self and i like to call it self-indulgence 00:31:47.925 --> 00:31:52.200 i think self-care has just become this watered down thing i like saying self-indulgence but 00:31:53.158 --> 00:31:56.697 A lot of women have a hard time with that word. So anywho, but like just like 00:31:56.697 --> 00:31:58.667 little rituals, like a massage. 00:31:58.772 --> 00:32:02.357 And I've just started doing this. I just signed up for a subscription with a 00:32:02.357 --> 00:32:06.507 local masseuse to get a massage every month because I've been in pain for six 00:32:06.507 --> 00:32:09.811 months. I've had back pain for six freaking months. 00:32:10.206 --> 00:32:13.318 And why do we feel like we have to suffer through? 00:32:13.532 --> 00:32:14.347 I'm telling you. 00:32:15.127 --> 00:32:19.750 I just, yeah, it blows my mind. And I preach this shit. Like what's going on? 00:32:20.150 --> 00:32:23.467 But anyway, little self-care rituals, I think, are super important, 00:32:23.467 --> 00:32:27.287 even if it's just like getting coffee with the friend, drying a warm bath. 00:32:27.827 --> 00:32:32.297 Sometimes I even just light a candle or put on really soothing like jazz music 00:32:32.297 --> 00:32:36.700 while I'm in my office. And that just makes me feel like I'm indulging myself just a little bit. 00:32:37.385 --> 00:32:42.807 I found literally the perfect Christmas present for you the other day. 00:32:42.807 --> 00:32:45.507 And don't get all stressed out. It's not a big thing. But I was like, 00:32:45.507 --> 00:32:50.522 oh, my God, this is like self-care on steroids. I have to get this first. 00:32:50.655 --> 00:32:53.227 I'll just leave

you in suspense. I love it. 00:32:53.593 --> 00:32:54.086 Can't wait. 00:32:54.312 --> 00:32:58.317 The other one is hydration, right? It is so easy to forget to drink water. 00:32:58.317 --> 00:33:03.680 I mean, here I am drinking my coffee bucket, but I did my clean talk, so it's okay. 00:33:05.147 --> 00:33:08.407 Yeah, so it's easy to forget to drink water when you're running around all day, 00:33:08.407 --> 00:33:12.806 but staying hydrated is an easy way to keep your energy up and prevent burnout. 00:33:13.642 --> 00:33:19.464 Totally. I think staying hydrated is like sleep. Like these are things that are so easy to do. 00:33:19.708 --> 00:33:23.777 I mean, in air quotes, easy, simple. Let's say that it's so simple, 00:33:23.777 --> 00:33:27.687 but makes such a huge difference. I have a water bottle with me all day. 00:33:27.687 --> 00:33:29.983 Like I try to, I'm really good when I'm at home. 00:33:30.412 --> 00:33:32.827 Yeah. And I try to remember to take it with me when I go out too, 00:33:32.827 --> 00:33:35.857 but it just, I feel such a difference when I'm not drinking enough water. 00:33:36.171 --> 00:33:41.537 Yeah, I have left water bottles in like every airport known to man because I'm 00:33:41.537 --> 00:33:45.517 like militant about taking it with me when I travel because I travel a fair 00:33:45.517 --> 00:33:47.237 amount, not as much as I used to for business. 00:33:47.237 --> 00:33:51.612 But yeah, I've left my calling card in so many places. 00:33:52.193 --> 00:33:56.497 The other thing I do is try to have some healthy snacks on hand so I'm not starving 00:33:56.497 --> 00:34:00.433 when I go to like a holiday party because that just makes it harder. Right. 00:34:00.875 --> 00:34:04.398 And it makes it a little bit easier to enjoy the treats without going overboard. 00:34:05.373 --> 00:34:09.344 Helps balance things out, right? And with food, just in general, 00:34:09.733 --> 00:34:14.854 I try, emphasis on try, to follow an 80-20 rule. So eat healthy like 80% of 00:34:14.854 --> 00:34:16.978 the time and enjoy treats the other 20%. 00:34:17.625 --> 00:34:22.484 I love that because it's not like total deprivation because all that does is make people cranky. 00:34:23.384 --> 00:34:27.134 Something else that's super helpful during the holidays is saying no. 00:34:27.813 --> 00:34:31.254 You do not have to attend every holiday event or say yes to everything. 00:34:31.254 --> 00:34:35.901 It's okay to skip things that drain your energy and you don't have to do all the things. 00:34:36.434 --> 00:34:41.894 Set boundaries with yourself on this and say no to the tasks that suck the life 00:34:41.894 --> 00:34:45.234 out of you. Pick and choose the things that bring you joy and ditch the rest. 00:34:45.879 --> 00:34:51.805 Oh, yeah. It's really honestly about choosing what feels good for you. 00:34:52.072 --> 00:34:55.974 So some days that might mean going to a holiday party. Other times it's curling 00:34:55.974 --> 00:34:57.694

up with a book and ignoring the world. 00:34:57.694 --> 00:35:01.114 I remember when I was still in my, I'm going to replace my mom and be like an 00:35:01.114 --> 00:35:06.574 even better version of the Pinterest mom phase of my grief. And I tried to make 00:35:06.574 --> 00:35:08.795 a bouche de Noël. Do you know what a bouche de Noël is? 00:35:09.074 --> 00:35:09.631 It's no. 00:35:09.753 --> 00:35:16.494 Okay. So it's this redonkulous French cake that is rolled and filled and stuffed 00:35:16.494 --> 00:35:22.547 and then decorated to look like a log complete with like meringue mushrooms and crap like that. 00:35:23.145 --> 00:35:25.461 So I tried to make that from scratch. 00:35:26.120 --> 00:35:32.744 I mean, what the fork was i thinking i mean those things are so freaking hard 00:35:32.744 --> 00:35:36.554 to make like there's a reason like pastry chefs make them did. 00:35:36.554 --> 00:35:37.516 It bring you joy 00:35:37.620 --> 00:35:42.644 No it absolutely didn't freaking bring me joy toss it i couldn't even get the 00:35:42.644 --> 00:35:47.294 damn cake to bake right and then i started rolling it and it exploded and i 00:35:47.294 --> 00:35:50.664 was like panicking right my husband's like and this would be why i told you this, 00:35:51.459 --> 00:35:54.523 spend the ridiculous amount of money and buy it at the store. So lesson learned. 00:35:54.807 --> 00:35:59.925 But another way we can really protect our peace is leaving early from events 00:35:59.925 --> 00:36:04.585 if we want to, right? There's no rule that says you have to stay till the bitter end of every event. 00:36:04.585 --> 00:36:07.589 Yeah, I love that, right? And here's something radical. 00:36:08.082 --> 00:36:11.855 What if we let go of some of the holiday perfection? Like instead of hosting 00:36:11.855 --> 00:36:15.905 a big fancy dinner, what if everyone brought a dish that made them happy, right? 00:36:15.905 --> 00:36:19.545 A potluck could be a nice potluck, right? But make it stress-free. 00:36:19.545 --> 00:36:23.275 We're kind of starting to do that a little bit more with some friends locally 00:36:23.275 --> 00:36:25.135 for Thanksgiving. And it's been really nice. 00:36:25.135 --> 00:36:28.825 I've always been the Thanksgiving hostess for my extended family with parents 00:36:28.825 --> 00:36:30.495 and siblings, kids, grandkids. 00:36:31.047 --> 00:36:34.705 We've always had usually a minimum of 20 people. I think this year will be like 00:36:34.705 --> 00:36:37.090 35, but I always do a potluck. 00:36:37.589 --> 00:36:41.345 I mean, and if you guys don't know, listeners, cooking is not my jam. 00:36:41.345 --> 00:36:45.625 It's not my thing. But I used to try to do everything to make the holidays perfect. 00:36:45.625 --> 00:36:49.465 And honestly, I just burned myself out trying to live up to that standard. 00:36:49.465 --> 00:36:53.905 And by the way, it was my own standard. Nobody was like forcing me to do all this stuff, right? 00:36:54.445 --> 00:36:57.487 Why am I not surprised that we do that? Shocker. Yes. 00:36:57.958 --> 00:36:58.399 Yes. 00:36:59.258 --> 00:37:02.350 But after my divorce, I just really wanted to be with my kids, 00:37:02.350 --> 00:37:05.950 you know, and other close family members, of course. But it just drove home 00:37:05.950 --> 00:37:09.334 the fact that nothing else really matters except the people we love. 00:37:09.485 --> 00:37:13.543 Yep. And I think giving yourself permission, there's that word again, 00:37:13.903 --> 00:37:18.530 to make new tradition helps too. And we can let go of the things that feel heavy 00:37:18.530 --> 00:37:20.516 and keep the parts that bring you joy. 00:37:20.770 --> 00:37:25.304 That's okay. It's okay to evolve your holidays as life changes. 00:37:25.884 --> 00:37:30.420 I love that so much. Let our holiday traditions evolve. And here's a crazy thought. 00:37:30.420 --> 00:37:35.180 We can also let go of some of the traditions all together. I know that one thing 00:37:35.180 --> 00:37:39.820 that's really helped me is celebrating Thanksgiving and Christmas before the 00:37:39.820 --> 00:37:44.693 actual day with my kids, like letting go of the idea it has to be on the actual day. 00:37:45.268 --> 00:37:49.170 And that way, they don't have to split their time or feel guilty about leaving 00:37:49.170 --> 00:37:52.210 to go to their dad's house, their significant other's family's homes. 00:37:52.668 --> 00:37:55.740 It just makes things so much easier for everyone. And selfishly, 00:37:55.740 --> 00:37:58.636 I don't have to share them with anyone on those days. They're all mine. 00:37:58.880 --> 00:38:04.380 I just love that idea. It's so simple and so brilliant. And it just takes so 00:38:04.380 --> 00:38:08.060 much pressure off, especially for families who have to juggle multiple households. 00:38:08.060 --> 00:38:12.590 Yeah, I think really examining the traditions and the tasks that we do and deciding 00:38:12.590 --> 00:38:17.699 what brings joy for everyone, including us, and toss the ones that don't. 00:38:18.093 --> 00:38:21.590 You know, be deliberate about the holidays and just hold on to the important 00:38:21.590 --> 00:38:23.499 things will just make everything so much better. 00:38:24.140 --> 00:38:25.163 More stress-free. 00:38:25.483 --> 00:38:28.987 One of the things I've been trying to do more is practicing gratitude, 00:38:29.120 --> 00:38:34.193 just more intention-based than anything else really during the holidays. 00:38:34.193 --> 00:38:38.623 So even small things like running into a friend or enjoying a really good cup 00:38:38.623 --> 00:38:46.063 of coffee, but just freaking slowing down for five bloody seconds to just take in the moment, right? 00:38:46.063 --> 00:38:51.770 Because it's this baton death march from like the minute today. 00:38:52.362 --> 00:38:54.343 Today. Today starts the death march. 00:38:55.123 --> 00:38:58.347 Yep, exactly. It's crazy, right? 00:38:58.754 --> 00:39:04.293 So

I've tried to do that to just help myself just kind of slow down and take it in. 00:39:04.293 --> 00:39:10.743 Yeah, I really love that. And, you know, I start my day journaling normally most days. 00:39:10.743 --> 00:39:15.253 And this just really helps me get my mind set for the day and to help kind of 00:39:15.253 --> 00:39:20.033 clear things out and just set me up for success. And it just helps me center 00:39:20.033 --> 00:39:25.410 myself. This is especially important for me at the holiday time because things do get so chaotic. 00:39:25.840 --> 00:39:30.658 And I try to add a little gratitude in there, you know, just be thankful for 00:39:30.803 --> 00:39:34.323 even the small things, right? And it just helps me appreciate things about the 00:39:34.323 --> 00:39:39.278 holidays that I might not normally take time to stop and, you know, give thanks for. 00:39:40.091 --> 00:39:42.993 Like instead of being frustrated with, you know, lines, you know, 00:39:42.993 --> 00:39:47.773 if you're out shopping, Just be thankful. I have money to you know buy gifts with in the first place. 00:39:47.773 --> 00:39:52.093 Yeah, for sure It's it's really about like I said before kind of finding the 00:39:52.093 --> 00:39:56.506 joy in those everyday moments Because at the end of the day, that's what matters. 00:39:57.373 --> 00:40:01.835 Oh, for sure. And can we just not forget our health as women during this time? 00:40:01.835 --> 00:40:05.255 Like we tend to just get so run down because we're just doing so many things 00:40:05.255 --> 00:40:09.436 anyway, but holidays are prime time for like all those germs, colds and flus. 00:40:09.958 --> 00:40:12.867 And honestly, nothing ruins the season faster than getting sick. 00:40:13.405 --> 00:40:17.275 So like, just remember the basics, like washing your hands and keeping hand 00:40:17.275 --> 00:40:21.545 sanitizer and sneezing in your elbow or whatever, because nobody wants to take 00:40:21.545 --> 00:40:23.685 home more than leftovers from the holiday table. 00:40:23.685 --> 00:40:29.565 Yep. Now I swear by my probiotics, prebiotics, and digestive enzymes. 00:40:29.565 --> 00:40:32.116 And that helps to keep my system in balance. 00:40:32.610 --> 00:40:35.837 And I get my flu shot every year. It's one less thing to worry about. 00:40:36.389 --> 00:40:42.245 I've also learned the hard way that overdoing sugar for me is just a recipe 00:40:42.245 --> 00:40:44.398 to get super, super sick. 00:40:44.693 --> 00:40:50.275 And so I have honestly cut way down on it, even when it's not the holidays, right? 00:40:50.275 --> 00:40:53.030 Like I know we were laughing about my coffee earlier, But like, 00:40:53.262 --> 00:40:58.789 I don't get like the full sugar deal. And now that I've cut it back, 00:40:59.265 --> 00:41:03.920 I find a little goes a long way. Like I can taste it more. Right. So I don't need as much. 00:41:04.402 --> 00:41:08.395 And, you know, I still have a treat now and again. Right. Like this is a treat, 00:41:08.395 --> 00:41:12.555 but I'm not going crazy with it. Right. But I honestly find that I don't miss 00:41:12.555 --> 00:41:16.775 it nearly as much as I thought I would. And holy crap, it's just so nice not 00:41:16.775 --> 00:41:18.770 to be getting sick constantly. 00:41:19.774 --> 00:41:23.547 That is an amazing hack. And I think it really takes being in tune with your 00:41:23.547 --> 00:41:28.789 body, but finding out what foods make us feel like crap and then limiting those. 00:41:29.584 --> 00:41:33.167 But also, you know, self-care doesn't have to mean bubble baths or fancy spa 00:41:33.167 --> 00:41:37.049 days. It can be as simple as taking a walk, cutting out sugar, 00:41:37.404 --> 00:41:40.962 drinking enough water, or just saying no to the things that don't serve you. 00:41:41.193 --> 00:41:46.357 Yeah. One of my favorite self-care rituals, and it sounds like it's one that 00:41:46.357 --> 00:41:49.174 you've recently discovered is going for massages every month. 00:41:49.592 --> 00:41:54.557 I get it every three weeks and I get mani-pedis every three weeks. 00:41:54.917 --> 00:41:59.887 And I love it for a lot of reasons, but not the least of which is it's like 00:41:59.887 --> 00:42:01.573 a set appointment, right? 00:42:01.927 --> 00:42:07.807 So I can't easily blow it off for the myriad of shit that comes up in my life, 00:42:07.807 --> 00:42:10.617 just like most busy people, right? Like it's a set appointment. 00:42:10.617 --> 00:42:13.167 So I can't be like, oh, you know, I shouldn't do that. Right. 00:42:13.839 --> 00:42:20.487 And that has been just a wonderful way to just force myself to just stop and chill. 00:42:20.487 --> 00:42:24.587 Yeah, no, I love that. And that's why I did similar. I got that subscription. 00:42:24.587 --> 00:42:28.077 And, you know, let's just pause here again and say, you know, 00:42:28.077 --> 00:42:34.317 we recognize we are privileged to be able to do things like this for our self-care and not everyone is. 00:42:34.937 --> 00:42:38.787 And we acknowledge that. But I think, too, something else that I do is I go 00:42:38.787 --> 00:42:41.037 and lay in my hammock. I have a hammock. 00:42:41.037 --> 00:42:42.917 Hammock time is the best. 00:42:43.786 --> 00:42:49.846 I never knew how amazing hammock time was until I moved to my property and I got a hammock. 00:42:50.032 --> 00:42:56.540 And it took me so long to give myself permission to give myself a damn break 00:42:56.882 --> 00:43:01.047 and rest, right? Just to go get up in the middle of the workday and just go 00:43:01.047 --> 00:43:02.832 lay in my hammock for 10 or 15 minutes. 00:43:03.577 --> 00:43:06.937 I had too much guilt to do that before. I would never let myself. 00:43:06.937 --> 00:43:12.337 It's like I had to earn, air quotes, my rest, right? Instead of just recognizing, 00:43:12.337 --> 00:43:13.786 hey, I need a little break right now. 00:43:14.442 --> 00:43:19.440 And the mindset that you have to earn your rest

or your sleep is bollocks. 00:43:20.106 --> 00:43:24.450 You've pretty much just adopted that word now, haven't you? I have, yes. I love it. 00:43:24.850 --> 00:43:28.489 I'm glad my British husband has helped you to expand your vocabulary. 00:43:29.069 --> 00:43:32.970 You know, we want to keep the lifelong learning going here at Drinks with the Girls. 00:43:33.030 --> 00:43:37.190 So scheduling those little moments on the calendar makes a huge difference, too. 00:43:37.190 --> 00:43:40.410 If it's written down, it's more likely to happen, whether it's coffee with a 00:43:40.410 --> 00:43:44.910 friend or a yoga class. I've started doing that the last few weeks because I'm 00:43:44.910 --> 00:43:49.484 trying to increase the amount of time I do yoga. 00:43:49.827 --> 00:43:54.070 And it's a little, it's not far away, but it's not just like next door, right? 00:43:54.070 --> 00:43:57.344 So it's easy just to kind of blow it off. So the last few weekends, 00:43:57.640 --> 00:44:03.515 what I've done like by Sunday is I look and see and I schedule in two classes, 00:44:04.049 --> 00:44:07.360 in the week that work with my work schedule and everything else. 00:44:07.360 --> 00:44:11.870 And it's really helped me increase that. So I'm finding that that's super helpful. 00:44:11.870 --> 00:44:16.510 And that's how to have holidays that are kind to the planet as well. 00:44:16.510 --> 00:44:19.400 The planet needs to be happy and healthy too, Because, you know, 00:44:19.400 --> 00:44:22.980 honestly, the holidays are one of the most brutal times of the year for our 00:44:22.980 --> 00:44:27.913 planet, and we clearly do not need any help abusing it at this stage of the game. 00:44:28.262 --> 00:44:33.620 There is a tremendous amount of waste from wrapping paper and cheap plastic. 00:44:33.881 --> 00:44:35.698 Wrapping paper can't be recycled, by the way. 00:44:36.615 --> 00:44:41.090 That end up in landfills, food waste, which leads to all sorts of bad things, 00:44:41.090 --> 00:44:46.482 and even higher electrical loads, which tax resources and can contribute to global warming. 00:44:46.883 --> 00:44:50.778 So Karen, what are some waste busting trends that you've noticed at the holidays? 00:44:51.786 --> 00:44:54.469 Well, I think this is such an important topic and it really, 00:44:54.469 --> 00:44:57.980 you don't hear about people talking about it that much because, 00:44:58.299 --> 00:45:01.739 you know, it's going to impact the merriment of everybody, I think, 00:45:01.739 --> 00:45:05.999 to have to think about the environment when you're trying to make cookies or whatever. 00:45:05.999 --> 00:45:10.611 But about 10 years ago, I bought these cute heavy duty boxes from Michael's 00:45:11.070 --> 00:45:13.479 and they're already like decorated. 00:45:13.479 --> 00:45:18.539 So we use and reuse them every year. And this cuts way down on wrapping paper. 00:45:18.539 --> 00:45:22.799 I think certainly people using the artificial trees with the LED lights has 00:45:22.799 --> 00:45:29.649 to help. But I have to say here, I will never, ever, ever, ever use a fake Christmas 00:45:29.649 --> 00:45:31.741 tree. This is a hard line I draw in the sand. 00:45:32.241 --> 00:45:36.599 Okay, I take that back. Tony, when he and I got together, he had an artificial tree. 00:45:37.249 --> 00:45:43.849 So we do two trees. We do an artificial tree and a live tree for me because 00:45:43.849 --> 00:45:46.903 that, I don't know, that's just something that's hard for me to let go of. 00:45:47.228 --> 00:45:48.714 Okay. Intervention time. 00:45:48.998 --> 00:45:50.649 So I know, I know. 00:45:50.649 --> 00:45:53.769 Okay. No, seriously. I have to speak to you, girl. 00:45:53.769 --> 00:45:57.679 Cause listen, I was firmly in that camp for the longest time. 00:45:57.679 --> 00:46:01.329 Like I was like, Oh hell no, I'm never doing that. That's crazy. 00:46:01.329 --> 00:46:06.872 Like that's just like the last vestige of the holidays. That's going to be stripped from me. Right. 00:46:07.209 --> 00:46:11.699 And honestly, my family literally staged an intervention with me. 00:46:11.699 --> 00:46:15.599 Like, I'm not even kidding you. Like, I swear to God, we were all in the room 00:46:15.599 --> 00:46:18.603 and they're like, well, let's vote. And I was like, oh yeah, I got this. 00:46:19.102 --> 00:46:21.842 And they all were like, no. And I was like, what? 00:46:22.592 --> 00:46:26.375 Are you kidding me? They're like, Mom, no, we're not going to do it. 00:46:26.375 --> 00:46:29.935 It is not a democracy in my house when it comes to this decision. I'm sorry. 00:46:30.615 --> 00:46:35.205 I was like, oh, my God, this is awful. Right. So I was like completely resentful, 00:46:35.460 --> 00:46:39.471 like found one on sale. I'm like, I'm going to hate this. This sucks. 00:46:39.820 --> 00:46:44.475 OK, I'm telling you, it's the best thing ever. 00:46:44.806 --> 00:46:49.245 OK, and it's not these old like crappy looking like, you know, 00:46:49.245 --> 00:46:52.335 dime store, like touch the bristle. 00:46:52.335 --> 00:46:56.185 And you're like the one you can't even tell oh it's bananas right and they're 00:46:56.185 --> 00:47:00.114 not ridiculous especially when you look at the price of christmas trees these days, 00:47:00.602 --> 00:47:05.045 but it takes like five minutes to put up it doesn't drop needles and it never 00:47:05.045 --> 00:47:07.045 needs water it looks amazing, 00:47:07.515 --> 00:47:11.205 and i get my little sensory joy because that's really what it was about for 00:47:11.205 --> 00:47:16.664 me by diffusing like wax melts and oils and that lovely pine foresty smell i swear to god, 00:47:17.181 --> 00:47:21.958 it's one of my favorite hacks now i thought it was crazy too for the longest time. 00:47:22.295 --> 00:47:24.825 The other one we'll do is kind of similar to what you guys do. 00:47:24.825 --> 00:47:30.555 And we just reuse gift bags and we have post-its, right? And we write the

person's 00:47:30.555 --> 00:47:33.445 name on the post-it, like a gift tag, and then we just kind of tuck it inside 00:47:33.445 --> 00:47:34.895 the bag so it doesn't fall out. 00:47:35.394 --> 00:47:40.875 It's great. And I tell you what, as someone that does not find the joy in wrapping 00:47:40.875 --> 00:47:43.495 gifts, because of course, oh, mom, you're going to wrap the gifts. 00:47:43.915 --> 00:47:47.435 My dad even tried to get on that train, Like, will you wrap my gifts for me? 00:47:47.435 --> 00:47:52.455 Like every freaking year. It's like, no, right? And then of course I have the 00:47:52.455 --> 00:47:54.215 ghost inspector and my mother-in-law. 00:47:55.011 --> 00:48:01.233 No joke, worked at Macy's for extra money wrapping presents. Okay. 00:48:01.553 --> 00:48:06.163 No, no stress there to live up to that. Right. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. 00:48:06.163 --> 00:48:11.053 Well, I am engaged to an OCD man who literally, and they're gorgeous. 00:48:11.053 --> 00:48:14.603 Like you get one, a gift from him if he's wrapped it and it's like, 00:48:14.603 --> 00:48:18.132 you don't want to open it because every line is matched up. Every, 00:48:18.521 --> 00:48:22.533 every design on the paper is matched up. It's, yeah, it's incredible. 00:48:22.533 --> 00:48:23.993 And I, no, I'm the opposite. 00:48:24.373 --> 00:48:30.283 How about if I mail my gifts to Tony and like I'll pay him in his favorite beverage? 00:48:30.283 --> 00:48:33.427 Like it is worth it to me, like literally, right? 00:48:33.949 --> 00:48:37.923 But at the end of the day, right, it's really about rethinking how we do the 00:48:37.923 --> 00:48:41.923 holidays with an eye towards being kinder to the planet and what is left behind 00:48:41.923 --> 00:48:43.887 when the holidays are over. That's the bottom line. 00:48:44.381 --> 00:48:47.623 And it goes honestly hand in hand with the theme of this episode in terms of 00:48:47.623 --> 00:48:50.749 keeping what really matters in the forefront at the holiday time. 00:48:51.173 --> 00:48:54.663 And again, I hope everybody is still with us at the end because we have a fantastic 00:48:54.663 --> 00:48:58.684 event that I'm going to talk about that will really help with the ideas of healthier, 00:48:58.916 --> 00:49:01.503 happier holidays for you and for the planet. 00:49:01.503 --> 00:49:05.243 So listeners, this is the point where we tell you that we want to hear from 00:49:05.243 --> 00:49:09.429 you. What are your favorite self-care rituals during the holidays? 00:49:09.801 --> 00:49:13.609 How do you make the holidays a little less chaotic and more joyful for you? 00:49:14.096 --> 00:49:17.403 And what are changes you've made over the years to make your holiday traditions 00:49:17.403 --> 00:49:21.353 kinder to yourself or kinder to the planet. Tag us on social media with your 00:49:21.353 --> 00:49:24.244 tips. We'd love to share them in a future episode. 00:49:24.464 --> 00:49:28.393 Yes. As we've said before, this is a community that we're trying to grow here. 00:49:28.393 --> 00:49:33.133 And a community is give and take, right? So every time we hear from you guys 00:49:33.133 --> 00:49:36.413 about a suggested episode or a comment or all that, it's just, 00:49:36.413 --> 00:49:40.003 we love that, right? We're all in this together and supporting each other can 00:49:40.003 --> 00:49:42.186 make the season so much more joyful and balanced. 00:49:42.871 --> 00:49:46.589 Every time you guys reach out to us and suggest an episode or give us feedback, 00:49:46.589 --> 00:49:47.741 we do a little happy dance. 00:49:47.921 --> 00:49:50.849 So keep them coming. And for sure, at Drinks With The Girls, 00:49:50.849 --> 00:49:55.169 we want women to know that they're not alone in the holiday madness. 00:49:55.169 --> 00:49:59.386 So don't forgive to give yourself permission to take care of you. 00:49:59.705 --> 00:50:03.239 The holidays can be whatever you want them to be. And I know this is a radical 00:50:03.239 --> 00:50:08.079 thought, but they don't have to be perfect. They just have to feel good to you 00:50:08.079 --> 00:50:10.209 too, not just everyone around you. 00:50:10.209 --> 00:50:15.359 Yeah. And letting go of some of those old expectations can actually make room 00:50:15.359 --> 00:50:17.271 for new, meaningful moments. 00:50:17.375 --> 00:50:21.468 It's really about showing up as your best self. And you can't do that if you're running on empty. 00:50:22.089 --> 00:50:26.587 As we continue to harp on, self-care isn't selfish. It's essential. 00:50:27.301 --> 00:50:30.459 I've started to do things like, okay, we were joking about the tree, 00:50:30.459 --> 00:50:34.399 but that was right. I mean, it backfired on me, but, you know, 00:50:34.399 --> 00:50:38.879 ask my family which holiday traditions are the ones that are really important 00:50:38.879 --> 00:50:40.461 to them, right? And which aren't. 00:50:40.896 --> 00:50:45.649 There's so many things that I've just killed myself to do that turns out they 00:50:45.649 --> 00:50:46.736 don't care all that much. 00:50:47.467 --> 00:50:52.329 Yeah. When I was a younger mom, I just felt this pressure, like I had to do 00:50:52.329 --> 00:50:55.710 all the things. But now, I just focus on the moments that matter. 00:50:56.076 --> 00:50:59.606 And I give myself permission to cut out all the holiday tasks that I don't like, 00:50:59.919 --> 00:51:02.862 or that don't feel good, or that honestly, yeah, nobody would miss. 00:51:03.257 --> 00:51:05.399 Just literally focusing on the joy. 00:51:05.881 --> 00:51:09.599 And listeners, I want you to notice the difference here between getting joy 00:51:09.599 --> 00:51:14.999 from your role as like the caretakers and the merriment makers versus getting 00:51:14.999 --> 00:51:18.315 joy out of something because it genuinely makes you feel good. 00:51:18.588 --> 00:51:22.953 I think this line gets blurred a lot for women, especially during the

holidays, 00:51:23.226 --> 00:51:26.168 because we're conditioned to get happiness from serving others. 00:51:26.621 --> 00:51:31.089 And this is okay sometimes, but we are whole-ass humans that have other ways 00:51:31.089 --> 00:51:35.209 to create joy and receive joy besides just making other people happy. 00:51:35.209 --> 00:51:39.629 As we wrap up, we encourage you to create your own self-care plan for the holidays. 00:51:39.629 --> 00:51:42.679 It doesn't have to be complicated. Just pick one or two things that resonate 00:51:42.679 --> 00:51:44.065 with you and commit to them. 00:51:44.274 --> 00:51:48.442 Yeah, maybe it's as simple as getting enough sleep. Hello. Shocker, right? 00:51:48.749 --> 00:51:52.859 Or taking a 10-minute walk every day. Small steps can make a big difference. 00:51:52.859 --> 00:51:57.004 So, Lisa, what are one or two things you want our listeners to take away from this episode? 00:51:57.555 --> 00:52:02.350 Honestly, I think it's really about stepping back and taking a huge, deep breath. 00:52:03.849 --> 00:52:09.249 Say it with me, right? Give yourself space and time to realize all the crazy 00:52:09.249 --> 00:52:13.618 making that we as women tend to do at the holidays isn't necessary. 00:52:14.094 --> 00:52:18.349 Half the time, we just do it to ourselves. For years, the idea of doing a fake 00:52:18.349 --> 00:52:22.569 tree was just awful to me. And Karen's still in that camp, but that's OK. That's OK. 00:52:22.992 --> 00:52:26.229 And now I'm like, what can I do with all the spare time I have now that I'm 00:52:26.229 --> 00:52:31.189 not sweeping up freaking needles, like contorting my back to water the dang 00:52:31.189 --> 00:52:34.189 thing and then having to clean up all the water everywhere afterwards? 00:52:34.189 --> 00:52:38.909 Right. Like really sit down and figure out what's important and also what your 00:52:38.909 --> 00:52:41.904 friends and family really want to do during the holidays. 00:52:42.339 --> 00:52:48.239 I am willing to bet that they will trade out those 16 kinds of home-baked artisanal 00:52:48.239 --> 00:52:50.983 Christmas cookies that you've made every year and, 00:52:51.637 --> 00:52:57.454 for more time with you as a relaxed and enjoyable person to be around. How about you, Karen? 00:52:57.616 --> 00:53:04.167 Amen to that. I think I want to be sure that women are giving themselves permission. 00:53:04.167 --> 00:53:07.154 I know we sound like a broken record, but it's an important word. 00:53:07.909 --> 00:53:13.697 Permission to prioritize your own joy, not just the joy of everyone around you. 00:53:14.037 --> 00:53:17.882 And sometimes this means making radical changes, but in the end, 00:53:18.143 --> 00:53:21.363 it will help you appreciate the holidays more because you aren't burnt the fuck out. 00:53:22.083 --> 00:53:26.657 And guess what? You being relaxed and happy makes the people around you happier too. 00:53:26.977 --> 00:53:28.231 Shocker. Right? 00:53:28.846 --> 00:53:32.557 The other thing I want women to remember is if the holidays are a triggering 00:53:32.557 --> 00:53:39.327 time, like it is for us, don't watch or listen to or be with people or the things 00:53:39.327 --> 00:53:41.472 that drain you or make you feel worse. 00:53:41.768 --> 00:53:45.617 If the holidays are a hard time for you, set yourself up with support ahead of time. 00:53:46.592 --> 00:53:50.870 Reach out to people you love, turn off the damn Hallmark holiday channel, 00:53:51.991 --> 00:53:54.615 plan things. Sorry, I have friends that love that channel. 00:53:54.615 --> 00:53:58.748 Love you guys. I can't. I can't. Love you. Mad props, but oy. Right. 00:53:59.154 --> 00:54:03.287 And plan things that make you feel good, even if it's not like the traditional 00:54:03.955 --> 00:54:09.405 holiday things, right? And definitely reach out for professional help if you 00:54:09.405 --> 00:54:13.957 are really struggling. There is no shame in needing or asking for support. 00:54:14.398 --> 00:54:19.267 Hashtag reserve the bucket of KFC. Just saying. 00:54:19.604 --> 00:54:23.805 Like, I don't know. I mean, you need to like fold that into a holotrade tradition 00:54:23.805 --> 00:54:25.420 somewhere in there. I think that's genius. 00:54:26.065 --> 00:54:32.950 Okay. We've rewound the tape, but we're not going to hit stop on the eight track just yet. 00:54:33.518 --> 00:54:37.501 Raise your hand if you used a pencil to rewind those cassette tapes. 00:54:39.105 --> 00:54:42.865 If you don't remember that, you may be too young to be listening to this podcast. 00:54:42.865 --> 00:54:45.186 But hey, it's all good. We welcome all y'all. 00:54:45.697 --> 00:54:50.045 Okay, so we are fast forwarding to today with some new ideas for reducing the 00:54:50.045 --> 00:54:53.335 clutter and hopefully some of the stress in our homes during the holidays. 00:54:53.335 --> 00:54:57.203 Yes, the holidays are upon us, y'all. So buckle on up. 00:54:57.845 --> 00:55:02.165 Right? I feel like once kids go back to school, New Year's Eve is here in a flash. 00:55:03.303 --> 00:55:07.335 But in After Hours, we get to build on the original conversation and talk about 00:55:07.335 --> 00:55:11.075 something that we've learned since we first recorded it. And since we recorded 00:55:11.075 --> 00:55:13.258 it two years ago, there's lots to learn, right? 00:55:13.729 --> 00:55:18.485 So this time we're digging into a practice called house hushing and asking a 00:55:18.485 --> 00:55:19.845 very important question. 00:55:20.420 --> 00:55:22.295 What is your house saying to you? 00:55:22.947 --> 00:55:27.440 And is she a little too bossy? Like Lisa says, do we need to tell her, STFU? 00:55:28.090 --> 00:55:31.184 Is she giving you a warm hug or a slap in the face? 00:55:31.701 --> 00:55:38.592 So many questions. So if you're a Patreon member, stay right here and join us for the conversation. 00:55:39.242 --> 00:55:43.387 And if you're not a Patreon member, do we have a deal for you? 00:55:43.683 --> 00:55:48.405 You get a seven-day free trial. Just go to Patreon, put in Drinks with the Girls. 00:55:48.405 --> 00:55:50.881 It'll show on up, sign up for our free trial. 00:55:51.258 --> 00:55:55.798 And even after the seven days, it's less than the cost of a bougie cocktail 00:55:56.221 --> 00:56:01.144 a month. And you get to own part of the Drinks with the Girls franchise. 00:56:01.812 --> 00:56:06.183 And if that wasn't enough, keep us commercial free. Like, what is not to like? 00:56:06.914 --> 00:56:09.201 And you get the episodes before everybody else. 00:56:10.571 --> 00:56:13.647 And you get all the juicy stuff that Lisa and I talk about at the end of the 00:56:13.647 --> 00:56:18.581 public conversation. So the podcast may be ending here, but the fun definitely isn't. 00:56:19.254 --> 00:56:22.707 Well, we've reached the part of the conversation where we probably should stop talking. 00:56:22.707 --> 00:56:23.587 But we never do. 00:56:24.007 --> 00:56:27.857 We really don't. But hold up. You're probably wondering where the rest of this episode went. 00:56:27.857 --> 00:56:31.537 I got you. This is why we have one brain. We've launched Drinks with the Girls 00:56:31.537 --> 00:56:33.761 2.0, and it's over on Patreon. 00:56:34.074 --> 00:56:38.237 We've realized some of our best conversations happen after we've officially wrapped things up. 00:56:38.440 --> 00:56:41.987 This is where you'll get the end of the conversation, plus early access to all 00:56:41.987 --> 00:56:44.187 the episodes so you never miss Last Call. 00:56:44.663 --> 00:56:48.477 You'll get the stories we probably shouldn't share, the things we weren't planning 00:56:48.477 --> 00:56:52.587 to say, the random rabbit holes that somehow become the best part of the conversation. 00:56:52.587 --> 00:56:55.517 Basically, all the stuff that happens when the microphones are still on, 00:56:55.517 --> 00:56:58.517 but we're no longer behaving ourselves like that ever happens. 00:56:58.517 --> 00:57:02.037 And best of all, you'll get in on the ground floor of the rocket ship that is 00:57:02.037 --> 00:57:03.707 Drinks with the Girls 2.0. 00:57:03.707 --> 00:57:06.657 We've been teasing this for a while now, and it's finally here. 00:57:06.657 --> 00:57:10.987 You'll get to own your very own slice of drinks with the girls 2.0 and help 00:57:10.987 --> 00:57:12.587 us launch this sucker into the 00:57:12.587 --> 00:57:16.267 Stratosphere so if you'd like to pull up a seat for one more round or join us 00:57:16.267 --> 00:57:19.457 for a coffee date come join us on Patreon the link is in the show notes. 00:57:19.457 --> 00:57:21.422 We'd love to have you and we're saving you a seat 00:57:22.240 --> 00:57:25.624 Wait why are you still here head over to Patreon and join us now.