התמלול המלא של Muffins

WEBVTT 00:00:15.359 --> 00:00:23.519 Hi, this is Jill Badonsky with The Muse's Daydream, and this story is called Muffins. 00:00:23.519 --> 00:00:40.240 Most dangerous things begin as accidents, like nuclear fission and bangs. 00:00:40.240 --> 00:00:45.520 And that's how these muffins started. 00:00:45.520 --> 00:00:55.359 Hattie was the kind of woman who always looked like she just finished stacking chairs after a church basement meeting nobody really wanted to attend. 00:00:55.359 --> 00:01:06.000 She lived alone with a spider plant named Bill and cookbooks that promised simple joy but involved complicated grocery lists. 00:01:06.000 --> 00:01:15.280 She wanted to make a batch of blueberry muffins that was just aiming for something gee whiz worthy. 00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:19.920 But she was out of sugar, so she used maple syrup. 00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:22.719 Out of cinnamon, so she used cardamom. 00:01:22.719 --> 00:01:26.799 Out of blueberries, so she used dice peaches. 00:01:26.799 --> 00:01:31.920 And out of patience, so she used extra vanilla. 00:01:31.920 --> 00:01:36.000 They came out looking like regular peach muffins. 00:01:36.000 --> 00:01:43.280 And she carried a couple over to her neighbor Martin, whose last recorded smile was during the Obama administration. 00:01:43.280 --> 00:01:47.680 He took one bite and his shoulders dropped a full inch. 00:01:47.680 --> 00:01:53.359 This is uh nice, he said, like the word was rusty. 00:01:53.359 --> 00:02:05.280 By the third bite, he was confessing his divorce, his fear of flying, and the time he peed his pants during a fire drill in third grade. 00:02:05.280 --> 00:02:12.240 But it was fine, he said, because they blamed the sprinkler system, so no one knew. 00:02:13.840 --> 00:02:21.199 In our town, news is usually limited to they moved the cereal to aisle five. 00:02:21.199 --> 00:02:25.840 So the report that Hattie's muffin had mollified Martin spread fast. 00:02:25.840 --> 00:02:37.520 Soon people started showing up with what they called situations: breakups, midlife crisis, and children who talked like tiny hostage takers. 00:02:37.520 --> 00:02:40.000 Hattie listened and baked. 00:02:40.000 --> 00:02:42.879 Might still work out banana nut muffins. 00:02:42.879 --> 00:02:45.680 He wasn't that great anyway, cranberry orange. 00:02:45.680 --> 00:02:48.479 Get a hobby lemon poppy seed. 00:02:48.479 --> 00:02:52.479 And people ate and something in them relaxed. 00:02:52.479 --> 00:03:02.960 Elise the yoga teacher called Hattie a healing portal, which is the kind of phrase that makes regular people want to run into oncoming traffic. 00:03:05.120 --> 00:03:11.599 The town newsletter ran her picture with the caption, muffins that make you feel better. 00:03:11.599 --> 00:03:24.080 It's just butter and fruit that was made while singing off key, she insisted. 00:03:24.080 --> 00:03:26.719 Folks didn't hear just muffins. 00:03:26.719 --> 00:03:28.719 They heard she couldn't fix me. 00:03:28.719 --> 00:03:34.240 Strangers began knocking and holding empty containers and full expectations. 00:03:34.240 --> 00:03:47.680 And one Sunday, a woman named Gwen arrived and said, My husband left. 00:03:47.680 --> 00:03:50.240 My kids blame me. 00:03:50.240 --> 00:03:55.039 And my mama sends sunsets with Bible passages on them. 00:03:55.039 --> 00:03:57.599 I don't want to feel better. 00:03:57.599 --> 00:04:01.360 I want to feel something else. 00:04:01.360 --> 00:04:05.840 Howdy reached for the flower and then stopped. 00:04:05.840 --> 00:04:10.080 I can't, she said, I'm out of miracles. 00:04:10.080 --> 00:04:14.960 They sat and the sugar sounded quiet. 00:04:14.960 --> 00:04:23.040 What if I made you a muffin that doesn't promise anything? 00:04:23.040 --> 00:04:26.160 Just keeps you company while you feel awful. 00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:28.800 A witness muffin. 00:04:28.800 --> 00:04:31.519 Gwen frowned. 00:04:31.519 --> 00:04:33.600 That's terrible brandy. 00:04:33.600 --> 00:04:36.000 Yep, said Hattie. 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:37.839 And she baked a plain one. 00:04:37.839 --> 00:04:40.800 No fruit, no frosting, no false cheer. 00:04:40.800 --> 00:04:45.759 And they ate them right there and right out of the oven. 00:04:45.759 --> 00:04:48.160 Do you feel something now? 00:04:48.160 --> 00:04:49.600 Hattie said. 00:04:49.600 --> 00:04:53.120 Well my tongue's burnt, Gwen said. 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.279 But less alone. 00:04:55.279 --> 00:04:58.560 Well that's something, Hattie said. 00:04:58.560 --> 00:05:07.199 And the next day a sign appeared on her door. 00:05:07.199 --> 00:05:13.759 Muffins for sale, happiness not guaranteed, company likely. 00:05:13.759 --> 00:05:25.439 Hattie didn't want to fix no one no more, but she made darn sure nobody in that town had to fall apart alone or on an empty stomach. 00:05:25.439 --> 00:05:52.079 Don't need to fix nothing, but it might taste good. 00:05:52.079 --> 00:05:59.680 This has been a muse's daydream. 00:05:59.680 --> 00:06:05.839 Written, narrated, and imperfectly engineered by Jill Badonsky. 00:06:05.839 --> 00:06:09.920 Check the show notes, there's some interesting things there. 00:06:09.920 --> 00:06:12.000 And thank you for listening.