KOPYA NG SALIN 🔗
Delia: Hello and welcome back to the Unapologetic Entrepreneurship Podcast. And today I've got a question for you, Joanna, which, if you're listening, I think you might resonate to this question. I'm gonna ask Joanna. Because I've been thinking this weekend about how I feel sometimes a little bit conflicted between two parts of who I am. So On the one side, I feel wildly ambitious and I have so many ideas and I have this mentality of like you only live once and I'm only here for however many years I'm here and I wanna have big impact and help more people and grow a big business and make a million dollars and do all the things and and I'd be really good with that money, you know, like I'd give back, I'd I'd be like involved in charity work and there's this part of me that's so ambitious and wants all of that. And then there's a part of me that wants to just go gardening and spend my time potterying around in my garden, picking up my daughter, being not on all the time. And sometimes I feel conflicted between these two sides of me. Like, do I go all in for this million-dollar launch or do I do I just take life a bit slower? And I'm curious to know. What right, what your thoughts are and if you ever feel like this?
Joana: Yes. my God. Firstly, I think we all feel like this. and it's it's something that when I talk about it to my students, I bring into the strategy because the whole ethos behind the ambitious creatives is that we help you build a business around the lifestyle that you crave. Because otherwise what's the point of growing a business just for growth's sake? is success the outside version of success really bringing you that much happiness in the end? Or is it your connections? Is it the time in your garden? You know, we have to have a bit of all of that together for the whole balance to work. You know, it's kind of like if you look at nature, you need a little bit of sun and you need a little bit of rain and you need a little bit and you need the winters and you need the sometimes forest fires and then you need, it it's a balance, right? Which is so hard for us to achieve in I find in this modern life where everybody's just on and it's just like go, go, go, go, go. you know, so I think like one of the things that I would ask my clients, and I can coach you on this if you want, is
Delia: please. Yeah, put me on the hot spot. I'm so up for this.
Joana: to think about like, okay What if you look back, imagine you're on your deathbed
Delia: Okay.
Joana: and you're gonna like I think about all this all the time. Like, what's gonna keep you company is probably gonna be your memories of your life. What are some of the highlights that are gonna make you feel giddy on the last days that you lived? You know, and you could be like you don't have to be specific. You could be
Delia: Wow. Yeah.
Joana: like, time the trips with friends or like What are those things?
Delia: Yeah. Okay. So definitely traveling and being in other cultures and traveling with people I love specifically, so friends and family. time with my daughter. Like this weekend we went to France for one night. I'm very lucky I live two and a half hours away from France. So we went to Cacasson for one night. And on Sunday morning we woke up. And we decided to go and get some croissants. Me and Harry, everyone else was still in bed. And we skipped through the streets in Carcassonne looking for singing and looking for croissants. And it was like, you know, one of those moments where you just like every part of your soul beams. It was one of those moments. And I think that happens when we travel, when we get we can have them at home, of course, but like Getting out into new places for me is really important. So yeah, traveling specifically with people I love is really high for me. Spending time with the people I love. knowing I've helped people as well. Like I'm just even
Joana: Mm-hmm.
Delia: thinking about like helping and being in a position where I can help and support friends physically, emotionally, financially if they needed it, right? What else? I think knowing that I have honored everything that I wanted to do in this life, so that I haven't played small and that if I felt I had a gift or a talent or something that I could do to that could be professionally bringing in money, I tried it, I gave it a short. Like no regrets, you know? Like
Joana: Yeah.
Delia: I I I saw I I shared this post on Instagram the other day. There was a picture of two I guess dartboards, you know, like the circular boards or archery boards.
Joana: yeah, I saw that.
Delia: You saw this, yeah? And one of them had loads and loads of holes in it and like arrows on the floor around it. And the other one was perfect. It didn't have any holes in it. And it basically with the one that was like a disaster with all the holes and the arrows on the floor, it was it said something like, you know, a life well lived, like tried. And then the the one with nothing in it is like you didn't try, you didn't show up. that's failure. I think at one was like you that is failure when you haven't tried.
Joana: Yeah. Yeah, th yeah. This is yeah, this is not failure, this is. Yeah.
Delia: Yeah. So maybe I'm going off on a bit of a tangent here, but I think trying
Joana: Okay.
Delia: trying everything that I wanted to try is an answer.
Joana: Yeah, so I think I think you you really value time with people and new experiences. That's what I'm getting and helping people. And then the part that I was gonna get to in a bit, was like honoring everything you want to do in this life so you have no regrets. But like the things that that will fill your heart up with amazing memories is like the people the new experience in this places, time with your daughter and with your friends. What about what gives you energy? Like when you're feeling depleted, when you're feeling tired, or like what what makes you feel connected back with yourself?
Delia: again people, I am a big people person.
Load full transcript
some people say I don't I hate people. I never get that. I love people. So again, people. and also getting into flow really helps me. And that can be gardening, it could be writing, but anything that I sort of really put my put my phone down, not that I'm on my phone all the time, but I have noticed. that like you put your phone down, you're getting to flow into something can be anything. And that gives me energy.
Joana: Yeah, and you love reading as well.
Delia: I love reading. I love doing improvisation and theatre stuff as well.
Joana: Okay. and then what are the things that w like career wise you'd regret if you didn't have a stop audit? Like is there anything missing from your list?
Delia: So I feel like my answer to this one, but I've been saying forever that I will write a book and I still haven't. So that's definitely something that's hanging over me. And the other one is feeling like I should be speaking more. Which I'm already
Joana: Mm-hmm.
Delia: doing more of. but I feel there's something there.
Joana: Why do you want to speak more?
Delia: Because I enjoy it,
Joana: Mm-hmm.
Delia: because I was terrified of Bertha for the longest time, and we've talked about this before. I had so much fear around public speaking. And I had this feeling that I needed to push on that fear and face that fear, but I didn't really know why. So I sort of followed the fear and I put myself in some really horrible situations like speaking on your stage in Portugal. And then I loved it. And I just have this feeling that I should be doing more of it. and a side note, but I I spent a weekend in Paris last year with my client, Sonia Shaket, who is a intuitive reader. And she was like, Delia, you need to be on stages. I was like, Sonia, I think you're right. So I feel I need to honour that. And I if I'm honest, I haven't been pushing myself. Too much on that.
Joana: Yeah, that's great, like that we're reflecting all on all of this, right? 'Cause you do you are great on stage. And it is the way that like you light people up and you help them. So it ticks a lot of these boxes. And you're in flow state.
Delia: Yeah. Yeah. So we need to write a book and get on stage. Be as be
Joana: okay. Any hobbies that you wish you h had time to do more? I mean, you did mention like there's the gardening, the improv, the writing, reading.
Delia: I think I'm very good at hobbies.
Joana: Okay.
Delia: I think, you know, for the longest time I horse riding, I'm not horse riding as much now. I'm doing more improv, but I'm always very I'm pretty good at putting time aside for that.
Joana: So when you think about a million dollar a year, how is a million dollars versus let's say three hundred thousand? How is that gonna help you achieve these things more than if you had like three hundred thousand?
Delia: Yeah, I actually you know, I say a million dollars because 'cause that's kind of what we say, right? It's just that number plucked from the sky. But if I'm honest, three hundred thousand great.
Joana: And I know I know we have already like in private conversations reached this conclusion. It's like, yeah, actually, like why are we pulling numbers out of thin air if like this like this map that we've just mapped out, like what would it look like how many trips would you want to take a year? How much time would your daughter versus trips with friends? how much time a week do you wanna spend gardening, writing, reading, et cetera? And then reverse engineering from that, like your what is then the money goal that would you would be your enough goal? And how does your week look like so that you could achieve that and have time for everything else? I already know that you take Wednesday afternoons off to go to improv. Do you feel like
Delia: Yeah.
Joana: anything else is missing in your week? So you could like garden more or see people more.
Delia: I feel my weeks ebb and flow, right? So I'll have weeks where I'm more, I'm maybe launching something and I'm in more hustle mode and the weeks will be very intense. And those weeks, yes, it would be lovely to be finishing earlier and feeling a bit more like I've got a bit more free time. But then I'll have other weeks that are a bit quieter. So I don't think I can complain too much about the the flow of the weeks. Also I do like working. I enjoy it. I enjoy being at my desk and crating and working and Yeah, I sorry, I don't crave more time off really.
Joana: Okay, cool. What about for writing a book?
Delia: Yeah, this is my challenge because I've tried to write a book so many times and I just don't have the time for it.
Joana: Fridays
Delia: Yeah.
Joana: became your write a book day.
Delia: yeah, that would be awesome. Okay, perfect, let's do that.
Joana: And then so this is what I would do is I think it kinda answers your, I struggle between this ambition of like going for it, being really s successful and then having a slow life. I think it's like how can you be really successful while living your slow life?
Delia: Mm.
Joana: Or I wouldn't even call it a slow life, I'd call it a fulfilled
Delia: A balanced life.
Joana: A fulfilled life. You know, like a life that
Delia: Yep. Yeah, I'd agree.
Joana: you're gonna look back and have no regrets on.
Delia: Yeah.
Joana: if you're listening and and this is like making you think about your we just asked Stelia what her things would be. If you think about what your things would be, you can start putting together an Excel spreadsheet of like what would that cost? Like what would taking like four trips a year, how much budget would you want for those trips? What would like how much budget do you want for something like improv? on top of rent, what you need to live, et cetera. And I really love when it comes to like money management, I love Remit Sethi's philosophy, which is you can live a rich life right now, you can feel abundant right now, and it's all about spending on the things you value most and being extremely
Delia: Mm-hmm.
Joana:
frugal on the things you don't. Like for example, maybe you don't care about what car you drive, that's his example. Maybe you don't need the most lavish place with a pool because you'd rather spend that money on travelling. maybe you don't need designer clothes because you're happy with like thrifting and then the money you're not spending there, you can spend it on expensive trips or like you know, improv classes or whatever that is for you.
Delia: Yeah, I love that. I remember reading his book and I think he does an exercise where he asks you to write down all your like most memorable purchases, things, experiences, whatever for the last few years. And then afterwards you look back and you you rate them as experiences or things or p and it's amazing. I remember doing that and I hardly had any things on that. I do love
Joana: Yeah.
Delia: my watch. I had my watch on my it's not a super expensive watch either, but
Joana: Mm.
Delia: but I I agree it is about spending in a way that will fulfil you and knowing therefore what your what your okay's are. Almost like having a a free pass on certain things. He also says what I love is one of his free passes for spending is on books and I borrowed that. Philosophy as well. So
Joana: Well, on that for my kids, I was like, wait, but after reading them like twenty times, then they were requesting you one. So I'm like, I should just be going to the library. And for my daughter's birthday, she's getting into Barbies now. She just turned four. And I was looking at the Barbie doll houses, and so is my friend, because her fri her daughter's turning seven and she wants the like big Dream, whatever it's called, Dream Barbie doll ho dollhouse, which is two hundred and fifty euros. And the one
Delia: Wow.
Joana: that I was looking at from my daughter is 150. And it's just a bunch of plastic that they're gonna probably have a good use out of it, but eventually they'll grow out of it like other kids do. So why aren't we buying the other kids' dollhouses that they're growing out of it? And
Delia: yeah, a hundred percent.
Joana: I bought my daughter's Barbie doll house for twenty euros. so I just it's about
Delia: Yay.
Joana: looking at purchases and giving yourself budgets so that you can still feel like you're living a rich life, putting money aside, and then realizing that maybe you don't need to be working so hard towards a goal that is actually not gonna bring you that much more fulfillment or happiness. And it's about more being more intentionally about. planning your year, your experiences, how you're gonna be spending your time and honoring that and creating boundaries around that.
Delia: And also perhaps there's a piece of brand as well, focusing on what is the profit we want to be coming home with rather than focusing on business revenue, you know, because somebody could build a million dollar business, but how much is it actually paying them? And then how and how much are they putting back into the business and back into their business? Because, you know The reality is that yeah, I don't need to be coming home with a million dollars at all. I really don't need to. But coming home with a couple of hundred, two, three hundred would be awesome, for sure. And I guess
Joana: Yeah. Yeah.
Delia: that's where we get to like like you always call like your enough goal, right? Now I mean what what is your enough
Joana: Yeah. I think I think that's also riffing off of our last week's podcast. Like to fall back in love with your business, y you also need to have your business make you fall back in love with your life. So what are you doing in your free time and how are you giving energy back to yourself? And if your business is at a place where it's requiring you to work so many hours that you don't have time or bandwidth for any of that. Then it's looking at, well, do I really need to be doing all of these things? Do I really need to be taking on all of these? Maybe you're taking on a lot of projects for a small amount where maybe if you take on two for a higher ticket, you could work less and have a lot
Delia: Mm-hmm.
Joana: more free time and less stress and be juggling less things.
Delia: Yeah, for sure. Yeah.
Joana: If you're interested in this concept, I think a great book is Company of One. that even though the title says it's Company of One, Paul Jarvis doesn't necessarily say you you just have to be doing everything yourself. He does talk about like hiring contractors and delegating and everything, but he has so many stories about people that have completely reframed their business around their lifestyle and created lifestyle businesses so that they could live the lives that really lit them up. And I think that's a really good suggestion.
Delia: Yeah, I love that. I love the idea as well of, you know, making an Excel with and I have actually done this before, an Excel where I have all of my absolute I have to make this every single month costs to survive. And then having another column. I in fact I've done it before with sort of three columns, almost like the the the the absolute I have to earn this every month just to break even. And then the medium column, which is like, I would like to be saving this much, I would like to be investing this much, I would like to put this much away each each month for holidays and different things like this. And then having like your super lux column, which doesn't have to be super luxe, but it might be things like, Okay, actually like I'd like to do a big home renovation, or I'd like this as well, and I'd like that as well. And then putting that down and seeing that as your as your margin if you like, right? Where you've got your your your low number, your medium number and your and your big number and setting your business goals around that. And it's also very insightful when you do that because you sort of realize where your money's going and also yeah what your priorities are. And the other thing I would say is
about a year ago I started tracking everything I spend on an app. And I still do it and it's amazing because it also put puts everything into categories. I do it manually. And now in any one month I can see exactly how much I've spent. And I know a lot of banks will do this, but it's not quite the same, especially if you're spending on different cards and you've got different pots of money. but that's been really good as well, just to see how just to see where your money is going, because sometimes you you can you can lose money by, you know, just lots of little coffees out and all these little costs which add up over the month. And then that does impact your lifestyle because you're needing to earn more money, or you're not doing other things that you want to be doing because that money is getting fritted away. So
Joana: What app is that?
Delia: so I use one, it's literally just called Money Manager. It's called Money Manager. one word. And if you look at it for on the app store, it's green with a little yellow piggy on it. And I love this one because you can do different currencies because when I travel, some of the other ones were limited in currencies.
Joana: Yeah. Nice. So I think it it's about the question you asked, going back to the question you asked at the beginning, it's okay, you are you often go between the two. So it's about making a list of like what would your life look like if you were living like your best life and what what are you gonna value most? And then doing that exercise of like adding all of it up. And maybe it's like
Delia: Mm.
Joana: The lowest and then the the next level up, maybe instead of two thousand budget to spend on a trip, you have five thousand budget to spend on a trip, you know, and like and seeing how those levels are different, to give you to give the money a purpose of where to go. Cause I think the other thing that that does is when days are hard and when you're like, like I w I wanna feel like quitting my business. you know, this is so hard or like things are tough. You go back to that list of where your money's gonna go and everything in that list should fill you up so much that it should give you energy to keep going in the hard times.
Delia: Mm-hmm. I love that so much. Because I always maintain for me that I don't want money for money's sake. I want money for freedom's sake. Because money
Joana: Yeah.
Delia: is freedom. And when you have enough money to not be worrying about it and to be able to live in your life as you want, whether that's helping other people, whether or not it's buying yourself a fancy car if you're into that. Like it's that it it is a it is a freedom, right? and that's why I think it's such an important topic.
Joana: But the freedom to not worry about money doesn't come from earning more money. It comes from good
Delia: Great.
Joana: money management habits. Because sometimes what happens with people is, and I've been guilty of this, the more you make, the the more lifestyle upgrades you make, or in my case, like more business upgrades you make. And then you're making Ten times what you used to and you're still just as equally stressed because you have now to hit those things. And I think yeah, I think if you want to have that feeling of I feel free, I feel like I don't have to worry about money. It comes from the discipline of having good money management habits. Look at where your money is going, look at where it's coming in. set budgets, set limits, you know, just yeah, see what you could do.
Delia: And then on top of that, there's the mindset as well. Because there are plenty of people who've literally got millions in the bank that worry about money. And they could have the best money management and discipline because they've invested really well and they've got all that money. But because they still live in a scarcity mindset, almost no amount of money is enough.
Joana: Yeah.
Delia: And so I think it's It it's both, right? It's having that discipline, yes, and that money management. And then knowing when n knowing what you need to do to feel safe, because often it isn't about earning more money. Sometimes it is. Like sometimes you literally do need more money in
Joana: Yeah.
Delia: the bank account a hundred percent to feel safe. Like I always think, yeah, you know, right if think of like what our root chakra is, which is like our Grounding chakra. It's the chakra that makes us feel safe and secure. It's it's our root. And part of that is shelter and having you know, relationships around us that feel secure. But it it's also money, I think, because money is it's a security that that we live in a world where we need it to be able to feel safe and secure. So I think once we have that number, whether it is a certain amount saved, whether it is just knowing that you've got a projected income of a certain amount, but knowing what it is. And then there's a piece of like, okay, how can I not fall into scarcity mindset of needing more, needing more. Like, you know, there was a point where if I had five thousand in the bank, then I felt safe. And now suddenly I need ten thousand, I need twenty thousand, I need thirty thousand. And it's like actually it's not the money that we need more of at that point. It is what do we need to be doing on ourselves to find safety within
Joana: Mm.
Delia: ourselves.
Joana: Yeah. I think that should be our next episode. Money mindset. The work the books we've read, the tips
Delia: Okay, let's do it. Yeah.
Joana: we've taken on, the exercises that have worked for us. And we could share all of that with our
Delia: Yeah, I'd love
Joana: listeners.
Delia: let's do that. So if you like the sound of that, listen to our next episode next Monday. And we will be talking all about money mindset.
Joana: So we'll catch you next week. Bye for now.
Delia: See ya there.