TRANSKRIPTIO 🔗
WEBVTT
00:00:00.560 --> 00:00:11.279
Welcome back to the Pauline Chilton Show where we have meaningful conversations that inspire healthier living, purposeful leadership, and intentional growth.
00:00:11.519 --> 00:00:24.160
Today's guest is someone I've had the pleasure of getting to know before inviting her onto the show, and I can honestly say she's just as inspiring off the stage as she is on it.
00:00:24.480 --> 00:00:42.640
Sabina Kvinberg is an internationally recognized keynote speaker, communication coach, best-selling author, and storyteller who has dedicated her life to helping people discover their voice, communicate with confidence, and make a lasting impact.
00:00:42.960 --> 00:01:04.640
From her early career as an actress and director in Germany to founding a performing arts school and later building impact communication coaching, Sabina has spent decades helping leaders, entrepreneurs, and change makers step into their purpose with courage and authenticity.
00:01:04.879 --> 00:01:14.400
Today we're celebrating the release of her brand new memoir, Gumption: Sacred Whispers, Bold Moves, and the Courage to Become.
00:01:14.799 --> 00:01:25.599
A deeply personal story about resilience, faith, listening to your inner voice, and finding the courage to become who you were created to be.
00:01:25.920 --> 00:01:27.760
Sabina, welcome to the show.
00:01:27.920 --> 00:01:29.840
I'm so happy you're here.
00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:32.640
Thank you, Pauline, for having me.
00:01:32.799 --> 00:01:34.319
It's a pleasure.
00:01:34.640 --> 00:01:36.000
Oh, great.
00:01:36.640 --> 00:01:43.680
Your new book, Gumption, which is a powerful word in itself.
00:01:44.319 --> 00:01:47.120
What does gumption mean to you personally?
00:01:47.200 --> 00:01:51.840
And why did you know this was the story you were meant to tell?
00:01:52.560 --> 00:02:22.800
Means moving forward in life with uh verve, with energy, with the boldness that we all have inside, and to move forward even when we are afraid, and not despite of the fact that we are, but because of it, and moving forward, anyways, if especially when everything inside you screams, stop.
00:02:23.919 --> 00:02:26.639
That for me is gum chan.
00:02:27.120 --> 00:02:36.319
And how I got to writing this book is quite interesting because that was not on my radar.
00:02:36.879 --> 00:02:46.000
As you mentioned in the wonderful kind uh introduction, I am a speaker, I'm a podcaster as well.
00:02:46.639 --> 00:03:08.800
And during pot during the Podfest Expo 2025, so a year and a half ago, I was interviewed by several people, and one of them asked me several questions, and one of the questions was, What do you contribute your success to?
00:03:09.280 --> 00:03:25.039
And in that moment, gumption came out because that is that word that has so many meanings, that that grit, and just moving forward and just saying yes to life and to opportunities.
00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:27.039
And that was it.
00:03:27.360 --> 00:03:31.360
There was no book, it was just something that I felt.
00:03:31.759 --> 00:03:35.919
And just a couple hours later, I was interviewed again.
00:03:37.680 --> 00:03:51.840
After that interview was done, the woman who asked me the questions, who interviewed me, came up afterwards and said, Sabina, you need to write a book.
00:03:52.080 --> 00:03:57.039
And I said, I chuckled because I said, I already wrote three books, right?
00:03:57.120 --> 00:04:00.319
There was no book that I had in the planning.
00:04:00.560 --> 00:04:03.199
But she said she was very persistent.
00:04:03.360 --> 00:04:06.400
And she said, No, no, no, you don't understand.
00:04:06.560 --> 00:04:09.599
You need to write your biography, your memoir.
00:04:09.759 --> 00:04:18.079
There's so much wisdom, so many golden nuggets you just shared with me that needs to go out into the world.
00:04:18.319 --> 00:04:21.920
And that, to tell you the truth, set me a little bit back.
00:04:22.160 --> 00:04:26.800
And I said to her, I will think about it.
00:04:27.040 --> 00:04:35.120
And then I walked into the expo hall where there were vendors, and one vendor table was set up.
00:04:35.680 --> 00:04:45.360
Uh Morgan James Publishing, a New York publisher, and there was a sign on the table that said, Pitch your book and we'll give you feedback.
00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:49.519
Well, the problem was I didn't have a book.
00:04:49.920 --> 00:05:07.680
But there was just something that was put into motion, and as the subtitle of my book said, Sacred Whispers Bold Moves, I said to myself, hmm, it's a sign, it's a whisper.
00:05:07.920 --> 00:05:09.439
Well, I signed up.
00:05:09.600 --> 00:05:11.199
Why not getting feedback?
00:05:11.360 --> 00:05:14.639
If this is even good or an idea.
00:05:15.120 --> 00:05:19.839
So the next morning I had a 15-minute conversation.
00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:33.120
And I was just my authentic self telling the director of publishing who did this interview with me what had happened the day before.
00:05:33.600 --> 00:05:39.680
And I said, I have no idea if it's any good, but here are two stories.
00:05:40.079 --> 00:05:45.199
And then I shared two of my stories that were very impactful in my life.
00:05:45.439 --> 00:05:47.120
And then there was a pause.
00:05:47.360 --> 00:05:49.839
And I thought, was it bad?
00:05:50.319 --> 00:05:55.360
And then she said, Sabina, you know you're a good storyteller.
00:05:56.000 --> 00:06:01.120
But at one point in your story, I had to hold back my tears.
00:06:01.519 --> 00:06:03.439
You need to write that book.
00:06:03.680 --> 00:06:08.480
And I thought, wow, okay, let me think about it.
00:06:08.959 --> 00:06:28.240
And that's that was really the catalyst or the the development of that day or the two days that ended up them offering me a book deal.
00:06:28.639 --> 00:06:32.079
And a day later I said, Okay.
00:06:32.879 --> 00:06:34.319
And I said yes.
00:06:34.879 --> 00:06:48.319
And we didn't talk about title or
Load full transcript
anything like that, but when I had to fill out the intake form, they ask about the title and says, No matter, just a working title is okay.
00:06:48.399 --> 00:06:49.680
We can figure it out later.
00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:51.839
So I put in dump chin.
00:06:52.160 --> 00:06:58.000
That working title became the title because that's what the book is all about.
00:06:58.319 --> 00:06:59.600
Here you have it.
00:06:59.920 --> 00:07:02.160
That is so exciting.
00:07:02.480 --> 00:07:14.959
So, how did you feel when you were offered that book deal in just those in those, you know, that short amount of time, and you weren't even planning on doing that?
00:07:15.279 --> 00:07:15.920
Yes.
00:07:16.560 --> 00:07:19.199
It was scary, to tell you the truth.
00:07:19.439 --> 00:07:30.879
And when, to be very honest, when I got offered this book deal, I also knew there was quite some commitment on my end.
00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:34.639
Time commitment, financial commitment.
00:07:34.959 --> 00:07:45.600
Because I always say uh if you're not a celebrity, more or less you are the one who's carrying the book and everything behind it.
00:07:46.000 --> 00:07:51.920
Because the book industry has changed so much over the few last few years.
00:07:52.399 --> 00:08:00.720
But for me, it was more a question: do they offer book deals to everybody?
00:08:01.040 --> 00:08:01.600
Right?
00:08:01.839 --> 00:08:18.800
That that that uh pessimism that is sometimes uh underlined there, and some of the good caution, because you know, we all have probably um felt at one time or another, hmm, somebody's took took advantage of me.
00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:27.279
So nowadays I went right on AI and did some research, said, so is this all rich it?
00:08:27.519 --> 00:08:29.839
I've not heard about this.
00:08:30.079 --> 00:08:40.399
Well, I did heard about this publisher before, because another good friend published a book through Morgan James, and they ended up to being uh wonderful.
00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:53.039
But I at that point I did the research, but then I learned that they get about 5,000 pitches a year, and they take 150.
00:08:53.360 --> 00:09:06.399
Wow, yeah, that's about three percent, and so I thought, well, I guess I have to write the book, and here we are uh a year and a half later.
00:09:06.720 --> 00:09:11.200
That's great, and I love the phrase sacred whispers.
00:09:11.840 --> 00:09:18.720
Were there times in your life where you had those sacred whispers?
00:09:18.960 --> 00:09:22.320
And how did you learn to trust them?
00:09:22.799 --> 00:09:28.000
Well, I had those sacred whispers my entire life.
00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:35.519
Of course, in my early years, I didn't realize that that's what it was.
00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:39.279
Later on, of course, I I did.
00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:47.759
But it first started out, and this is the story that is the first chapter.
00:09:48.000 --> 00:09:49.759
And that's how I started out.
00:09:50.240 --> 00:09:55.039
A experience that
I had when I was just nine years old.
00:09:55.440 --> 00:10:16.159
And that experience was uh it was very impactful, but in the well, not just in a negative way, later on in a positive way, because I told the story and used it as my learning uh experience.
00:10:16.480 --> 00:10:28.000
But I was in a park, I was playing, the playground was closed, and I still had half an hour before going home.
00:10:28.159 --> 00:10:33.200
And when you're nine years old, you go home when the parents said you go home, right?
00:10:33.440 --> 00:10:36.000
It was a summer evening in Hamburg, Germany.
00:10:36.240 --> 00:10:48.480
I was just lovely, and I was sitting on the bench and watching the squirrels and just minding my business, and then a nice gentleman sat next to me and we got into a conversation, and he seemed very nice.
00:10:48.720 --> 00:10:51.279
But then he said something that was very disturbing.
00:10:51.440 --> 00:10:55.039
He said, Do you see that man in the back there?
00:10:55.840 --> 00:10:57.919
That is a child snatcher.
00:10:58.559 --> 00:10:59.200
Wow.
00:10:59.759 --> 00:11:02.639
And I thought, oh, yeah, that's that's very bad.
00:11:02.799 --> 00:11:07.039
And then and then the uh um owner man said, Well, you know what?
00:11:07.200 --> 00:11:08.320
Let's just get away.
00:11:08.399 --> 00:11:10.240
I said, That was a good idea.
00:11:10.480 --> 00:11:18.080
And we went and we walked, and and the park had a little hill where we slept down in the winter time.
00:11:18.480 --> 00:11:30.480
So there was a walkway uh around them in the back, and then in the back, so you had to go steep up, or you went all the way around.
00:11:30.720 --> 00:11:37.120
But then he suggested, let's take a shortcut, let's go up there through the underbrush.
00:11:37.279 --> 00:11:39.440
There was no path or anything like that.
00:11:39.759 --> 00:11:42.879
I said, you know, let's take the shortcut, right?
00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:44.320
You're always adventurous.
00:11:44.399 --> 00:11:46.559
I'm always an adventurous person, anyways.
00:11:46.799 --> 00:11:47.759
And we did.
00:11:48.320 --> 00:11:55.840
And at one point, somewhere in the middle, he stopped and he made this motion.
00:11:56.240 --> 00:11:57.919
Come here, little girl.
00:11:58.240 --> 00:12:16.720
And in that moment, there was not a whisper, but there were definitely a guardian angels that were there at that time in my life that said, Run, Sabina, run, and that's exactly what I did.
00:12:17.279 --> 00:12:37.360
And that was a very traumatic experience for me, and I did not tell a soul about it, and that was even more dramatic, traumatic, not dramatic, dramatic probably too.
00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:44.559
Sorry, my German accent here, because I felt it was all my fault.
00:12:44.799 --> 00:13:25.679
Because of course your parents say, hey, don't go with strangers, but I didn't feel that this was a stranger, and that is just the the worst that can happen to a child or an innocent person because you don't think about that, but then you realize no, that that was bad, and that I carried with me for a long time, but that led me to turn to God for the first time because we were not churchgoers, my family, you know, I wasn't you know raised like that.
00:13:25.919 --> 00:13:29.360
I learned a little bit in school about the Bible.
00:13:29.840 --> 00:13:35.360
We had Bible study in school back in those days, and that was it.
00:13:36.080 --> 00:13:41.600
But intuitively, I knew there was there was a higher power.
00:13:42.080 --> 00:14:08.960
And I started creating my first prayer that night, and that kept me connected to something higher that I felt safe in, and that's what I from that point on, I was very open to those sacred whispers, and sometimes those whispers can be very loud.
00:14:09.279 --> 00:14:38.399
That is such a great story, and I I had so many thoughts as you were telling that story, but I had the thought about how easy it is for someone to take advantage of someone when you kind of have your guard down when you don't consider that person a stranger, and that's probably why a lot of things happen to people when it's done by someone they already know.
00:14:38.720 --> 00:14:58.080
Yes, and then it does challenge your sense of safety, yes, and again that that guilt comes in there, so uh and I think that is an important part also for parents to understand that so many things happened.
00:14:58.320 --> 00:15:25.200
I've heard in the meantime many stories when because I have a podcast too, and a lot of people sharing their story, and some of those stories were about childhood where the friendly neighbor was then the abusive person, someone you thought was a you know friendly one, but it turned out to be the foe.
00:15:25.759 --> 00:15:35.600
And yeah, so for parents, be aware, and especially when a child comes back and acts differently.
00:15:36.080 --> 00:15:42.639
Sometimes you may think, oh, there's just something, why is she or he acting this way, right?
00:15:43.039 --> 00:15:46.159
There might be something more serious behind it.
00:15:46.559 --> 00:15:47.840
So that's so true.
00:15:48.000 --> 00:15:57.039
I'm a mom, and and even from my own personal experiences, I just know that that what you're saying is so very true.
00:15:57.200 --> 00:15:58.320
So absolutely.
00:15:58.480 --> 00:16:00.320
And you mentioned your podcast.
00:16:00.639 --> 00:16:06.559
Can you talk more about the name of your podcast and what it's about and what it's about?
00:16:07.440 --> 00:16:07.840
Sure.
00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:11.440
My podcast called Become Empowered.
00:16:12.000 --> 00:16:14.960
And you can find it on all the platforms.
00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:43.039
I started this podcast four years ago because I wanted to share stories from individuals from all walks of life sharing their story of overcoming adversity, overcoming hardship, and what they've learned in the process, and how that experience turned them into their next greater self.
00:16:43.360 --> 00:17:00.159
Because we have to become the person we are meant to be to live the life we are destined to live, and every experience that we have in life will help us on that journey, and that is what I also share in my book, Gumpchen.
00:17:00.720 --> 00:17:12.000
It is a memoir, so I share a lot of stories throughout my early years, through my career, the spiritual parts.
00:17:12.079 --> 00:17:32.240
So I have like four parts in it, and with each of those stories, I have an invitation for the readers to perhaps find themselves in the story, even if it has nothing to do with them per se.
00:17:32.720 --> 00:17:37.039
But a story is always attached to an experience.
00:17:37.440 --> 00:17:43.680
Even someone has a different story, but it matches the experience and what we can learn from it.
00:17:43.920 --> 00:18:14.400
And where I am at the stage of my life after several businesses, and what I do now working with individuals and helping them, and through my podcast, through my books, I wanted to leave this planet with doing what I was supposed to do here, and I figured it out throughout the lifetime, and I'm still figuring it out as we move forward because it's always changing.
00:18:14.559 --> 00:18:15.759
It's a journey.
00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:23.920
What has each season in your life taught you about becoming rather than simply achieving?
00:18:24.240 --> 00:18:27.359
Ah, what an excellent question.
00:18:27.680 --> 00:18:33.599
At the beginning of my life and career, it was about achieving.
00:18:48.640 --> 00:18:57.200
There are things and ways that you know, that's the only thing you know, until you create your own experiences.
00:18:57.680 --> 00:19:04.240
So, of course, it is like be successful, however it looks like.
00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:25.440
My first success was changing careers, doing what I love, doing what using my talents, becoming an actress, singer, dancer, and that was exciting.
00:19:25.599 --> 00:19:41.359
And then those ambitions were to play the big roles, and I share some of this in my book as well, including how I got one of the major roles uh in musical theater.
00:19:41.920 --> 00:19:44.720
And that was that part.
00:19:45.119 --> 00:20:02.400
Then as we moved along, and I moved from Germany to America, where I started my business, a performing art school, then I realized, oh, I'm teaching more than just acting, dance, and music.
00:20:02.640 --> 00:20:04.720
I'm teaching life lessons.
00:20:04.960 --> 00:20:10.799
I am making a difference in people's lives.
00:20:11.519 --> 00:20:14.720
Kids, teenagers, adults.
00:20:15.119 --> 00:20:19.759
And that was the more fulfilling part.
00:20:20.240 --> 00:20:23.680
Of course it was fulfilling to see a show.
00:20:23.920 --> 00:20:25.599
We produce two shows a year.
00:20:25.759 --> 00:20:36.880
And it's just wonderful because that's the creative part that's within me to putting on a show, creating the script and so forth.
00:20:37.359 --> 00:20:55.920
But seeing students blossom, and especially if someone who came in very shy, never wanted to speak a word, all of a sudden starts standing up, speaking, being confident, right?
00:20:56.559 --> 00:21:03.200
So that is when I learned confidence is super important for everything in life.
00:21:03.519 --> 00:21:06.079
And that was that part.
00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:10.720
And then there came another part, that spiritual part.
00:21:11.599 --> 00:21:26.559
And through each life season, I also became wiser, and the people you surround yourself with are playing a big part of it.
00:21:27.200 --> 00:21:41.599
And I had the fortune to marry my best friend, and that in and of itself, he is that deep spiritual person.
00:21:41.759 --> 00:21:44.880
We we what's the word that I'm looking for?
00:21:45.279 --> 00:21:47.440
Complement each other very well.
00:21:47.839 --> 00:21:53.359
I give him my spark, and he gives me his calmness.
00:21:54.319 --> 00:22:03.440
And through that experience, in and of itself, I Grew so much as a human being.
00:22:03.680 --> 00:22:23.599
And then the spiritual journey that came along, where I discovered that there was so much more within each one of us, and of course, in within me that I need to quote unquote use in a better way to make a difference.
00:22:23.920 --> 00:22:37.680
So there was a little bit of a longer answer, but because it really has those seasons in which we grow and in which we become our next greater self.
00:22:37.839 --> 00:22:39.200
And that is the point.
00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:52.880
We always becoming, and we always become our next greater self with each experience, with each person we meet, with every uh adventure we take until we leave this planet.
00:22:53.200 --> 00:22:54.559
That's amazing.
00:22:54.880 --> 00:23:06.640
It's such a beautiful thing to find that right partner, the person, like you said, who compliments you and balances you.
00:23:07.039 --> 00:23:14.480
You know, a lot of things in life have a way of throwing unexpected challenges our way.
00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:21.039
Was there ever a moment in your journey where you had to choose courage over comfort?
00:23:21.279 --> 00:23:26.640
And how did that shape who you are today?
00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:32.240
I would say there were more than just one instance.
00:23:33.119 --> 00:23:38.960
There were several where I had to choose courage over comfort.
00:23:39.680 --> 00:23:54.240
And when starting out being an actress, a performer, you have to step out your comfort zone if you play a role that is challenging.
00:23:54.480 --> 00:23:56.799
Or if you're auditioning, right?
00:23:57.920 --> 00:24:05.759
But I guess one of the biggest parts were stepping into the unknown.
00:24:06.079 --> 00:24:18.000
When I auditioned for the first time for an acting school, I had you no idea, but I was so passionate about and so excited about it that I just went for it.
00:24:18.240 --> 00:24:31.680
The next one was where I had to make a decision where to
live with my husband because he is American.
00:24:31.839 --> 00:24:35.039
We met during the European tour of Fiddler on the Roof.
00:24:35.279 --> 00:24:45.440
The dancers came from New York, and the lead roles, the performers came from Germany, Austria, and Switzerland.
00:24:45.839 --> 00:24:57.119
So he lived in Germany for a while, and we were directors, you know, flying to different vacation spots, putting on shows.
00:24:57.519 --> 00:25:01.839
But there was always the question: where do we settle down?
00:25:02.160 --> 00:25:02.799
Right?
00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:10.799
And of course, living in a country that you know that you're comfortable with, and you have the family and friends there.
00:25:11.279 --> 00:25:20.400
The thought of moving to America was somewhat frightening and somewhat, I oh, I don't know.
00:25:21.039 --> 00:25:26.960
But then again, life is happening for you.
00:25:27.599 --> 00:25:32.400
And it it was a very sad time in my life.
00:25:32.720 --> 00:25:39.839
I just came back from producing a show in Austria, and I was visiting my mom.
00:25:40.240 --> 00:25:42.480
And I still remember that day.
00:25:42.559 --> 00:25:55.839
I went up the stairs and where she lived in the apartment, and so her smile greeted me, and I had sauerkraut and and and meat and knudel.
00:25:56.000 --> 00:26:01.680
It was a traditional meal, it was kind of the leftover from Sunday, it was a Monday, and we chatted.
00:26:01.839 --> 00:26:04.799
And my mum was the the biggest supporter.
00:26:05.039 --> 00:26:07.920
She saw every every play.
00:26:08.079 --> 00:26:16.960
She doesn't matter if I was in Austria, she even uh traveled to Turkey where I was producing a show.
00:26:17.519 --> 00:26:24.559
So and the next day, it was like six o'clock in the morning, doorbell rang.
00:26:24.720 --> 00:26:26.240
So who can that be?
00:26:26.559 --> 00:26:37.920
My dad stood in front of the door, and that was weird because he never comes alone, let alone this early in the morning.
00:26:38.240 --> 00:26:45.119
But on her face, or on his face, I could see that something must have happened.
00:26:45.359 --> 00:26:52.799
And then he gave me the devastating message that my mother has passed away that night.
00:26:53.119 --> 00:27:02.559
And I was like, I was like, I I couldn't say anything, but I knew I had to be strong.
00:27:03.119 --> 00:27:06.559
So I had a younger sister and an older sister.
00:27:06.880 --> 00:27:16.400
So immediately my leadership role or the leader that was within me took over.
00:27:16.640 --> 00:27:23.279
The director, the leader, the strong person that I always played in life.
00:27:23.759 --> 00:27:31.359
And I wanted to make sure that my baby sister was taken care of, who just gave birth to her first child.
00:27:32.000 --> 00:27:35.359
And uh it was just so devastating.
00:27:35.519 --> 00:27:51.839
And there were a couple other things that happened at the same time, but long story short, that very moment or that very situation where I felt so out of bound.
00:27:52.000 --> 00:28:04.480
And after everything was done, the funeral was done, and I had to go through some health challenges where I that I faced alone, I felt so on a crossroad.
00:28:04.880 --> 00:28:08.079
Okay, what am I doing now?
00:28:08.720 --> 00:28:18.079
I lost someone who was so close to my heart and that hurt, and I just wanted to run away, you know.
00:28:18.240 --> 00:28:21.759
In retrospect, that's what it was for me.
00:28:22.079 --> 00:28:31.039
And it was something like, you know, now I'm ready to move to America because I just don't want to look at this.
00:28:31.599 --> 00:28:43.440
And at the same time, it was it was scary because it's a new language, even though I I spoke English, not very well, but I spoke English.
00:28:43.519 --> 00:28:50.079
But building a business there, have no family, no friends, my husband's family was there.
00:28:50.240 --> 00:28:51.359
That was one thing.
00:28:51.680 --> 00:29:15.519
So I I know it was a long answer to your question, but I wanted to make sure to bring across sometimes things happen for you, and it doesn't change the uncomfort, but you have to have that courage to say yes to something and then make a decision and say yes and stick with that.
00:29:15.839 --> 00:29:19.680
But that was the biggest one for me.
00:29:20.240 --> 00:29:22.960
Like your long stories, it's good.
00:29:23.119 --> 00:29:42.880
I thank you, because you really the way you share the story and you explain it, it really paints the picture and put things into perspective and it gives us some context and some some texture is the word that I'm thinking of.
00:29:43.039 --> 00:29:43.440
Yes.
00:29:43.680 --> 00:29:47.039
Um, to what you're what you're sharing.
00:29:47.200 --> 00:29:50.480
So uh definitely don't apologize for being long.
00:29:50.799 --> 00:29:56.960
No, well, that's that's that's why they call me the storytelling dame from Germany.
00:29:57.359 --> 00:30:04.880
Yeah, you know, so many people have incredible stories, and a lot of times they're afraid to share them.
00:30:05.200 --> 00:30:11.680
Yes, and that is what I do today, and I'm so passionate about.
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:15.200
I help people find their voice.
00:30:15.440 --> 00:30:22.720
We all have voices, and by that I mean in real life, find your voice.
00:30:22.880 --> 00:30:55.039
Some are very, very quiet, but more the way you share your story, and especially entrepreneurs in the entrepreneurial world, when you know how to share your story in the most effective way that makes sense and that connects to the goal that you have, you are so far ahead of everyone else.
00:30:55.440 --> 00:31:03.680
And I have a framework that I share, it's called the SET Framework.
00:31:04.000 --> 00:31:12.799
So let me explain that for your listeners because if you listen to this podcast, I always want to give some value.
00:31:13.359 --> 00:31:17.839
So when you are off the podcast, you can apply that.
00:31:18.319
--> 00:31:25.680
When we set, of course, I take a lot of the metaphors from my background, right?
00:31:25.839 --> 00:31:29.039
Like stepping into the spotlight and a set.
00:31:29.119 --> 00:31:34.640
Yeah, a set in theater or in the movie is the first impression that we have.
00:31:34.799 --> 00:31:47.759
When we come to a theater, curtain opens, we see a set, and that tells us exactly where we are, what is the mood, what is the time, who are the characters, is it cold, is it hot?
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:53.839
And that gets already an impression and a feeling that creates a feeling.
00:31:54.079 --> 00:32:02.400
So I use that same metaphor, and each letter stands for something, it's an acronym.
00:32:02.559 --> 00:32:05.440
So the S stands for story.
00:32:06.079 --> 00:32:22.240
So the story is the one that connects everything, and with a story, we're not just telling a story to tell a story, the story is supposed to create emotions, right?
00:32:22.720 --> 00:32:24.880
That's what the E stands for.
00:32:25.200 --> 00:32:29.359
But let me go back to the story in and of itself.
00:32:29.839 --> 00:32:32.319
We are wired for stories.
00:32:32.640 --> 00:32:38.400
This is how we communicated hundreds, thousands of years ago.
00:32:38.640 --> 00:32:43.119
This is this was the only way before the written word, before anything else.
00:32:43.279 --> 00:32:44.240
We told stories.
00:32:44.319 --> 00:32:59.359
We sat around the fire, and then we told a story, and even some of the stories related history, others say, watch out, don't go around that dark corner, there's a wild animal, so don't go there, right?
00:33:00.079 --> 00:33:11.839
And we still to this day are somewhat wired to listen to stories, and as you mentioned, it was so good.
00:33:12.160 --> 00:33:20.240
You you were interested, and then it creates that emotion because I set it up, I set the scene.
00:33:20.480 --> 00:33:21.279
How was it?
00:33:21.440 --> 00:33:22.880
Where was I, right?
00:33:23.440 --> 00:33:26.559
And that created a certain emotion.
00:33:26.960 --> 00:33:32.319
Now, the T that's the last one in that framework, stands for tie.
00:33:32.640 --> 00:33:34.960
We have to tie it together.
00:33:35.200 --> 00:33:43.359
Just telling a story and creating emotion and then let it float into the nowhere is not good enough.
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:56.799
We have to tie together to either what we want to convey, the maybe the offer that we have, maybe tying it to a teaching point.
00:33:57.599 --> 00:34:04.720
And when we do that, if you teach something, always have a story because people remember that.
00:34:04.960 --> 00:34:13.519
When I give my keynotes, they are stories, you bet they are, and people remember that.
00:34:13.840 --> 00:34:21.280
Now it's not just do ABC and do this and that, and it's abstract.
00:34:21.519 --> 00:34:29.280
No, there's a story tied to it, and this is the power of storytelling.
00:34:29.599 --> 00:34:41.679
When you incorporate a story in your talks, in your presentations, and do it the right way that connects to the outcome the audience wants to see.
00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:50.000
Maybe there is a sale at the end, or maybe there is a you want to get some some leads into your universe.
00:34:50.239 --> 00:34:57.840
If you do it in a certain particular way, you don't have to sell anything any longer.
00:34:58.079 --> 00:35:06.239
And that is the beauty of it, and that's what I help people today is how extract this story.
00:35:06.480 --> 00:35:13.440
Because sometimes people don't people come to me and say, Sabina, oh, I don't have a story.
00:35:13.599 --> 00:35:14.639
Yes, you do.
00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:19.360
You have tens of thousands of stories throughout your lifetime.
00:35:19.519 --> 00:35:24.079
And the good thing is no one can say it or no one can tell it better than you do.
00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:29.599
And of course, I'm also helping them with the presentation skills because that's another way.
00:35:29.760 --> 00:35:32.239
You have to to learn that as well, right?
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:38.159
So, but anyways, that is why stories are so super important.
00:35:39.119 --> 00:35:53.280
Yeah, I was just I I was just thinking that that you've yeah, you've got to, I'm sure you have people coming to you who need advice or they're asking for advice, especially if they think their story doesn't matter.
00:35:53.440 --> 00:36:00.880
You help them to tell their stories, to understand that they have a story and that it matters.
00:36:01.280 --> 00:36:02.159
Correct.
00:36:02.559 --> 00:36:23.679
And for most people, they think that I don't have to give something, but they are so I mean everyone has something, and even you don't have to be on a stage, you don't even have to be an entrepreneur or a business owner.
00:36:24.000 --> 00:36:28.719
Your story matters if you have a conversation with your friend.
00:36:29.039 --> 00:36:31.039
I was just gonna I was just thinking that.
00:36:31.119 --> 00:36:41.760
Like, how do you even like how do you help people to even become more intentional in their everyday lives or in their everyday conversations?
00:36:42.400 --> 00:36:46.559
Oh, it it's it's super important.
00:36:47.679 --> 00:36:57.039
So I had a conversation with a friend, and she shared with me some of the challenges that she was facing.
00:36:57.679 --> 00:37:16.320
And boom, right there, I had a story that was related to the challenge that she faced, and I shared it, and she was able to understand why she had this challenge.
00:37:16.559 --> 00:37:18.800
You see, that is the difference.
00:37:19.280 --> 00:37:39.360
All of a sudden, oh, and then she feels not alone, you see, and this is what what what I do with my podcast, so people who listen to it can identify with some of them and say, Oh, oh yeah, that makes so much sense.
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:40.880
I can apply that too.
00:37:41.039 --> 00:37:43.920
I'm not the only one who struggles with this, right?
00:37:44.480 -->
00:37:48.079
And um, yeah, everybody can do it.
00:37:48.239 --> 00:37:49.760
You can have a friend.
00:37:50.079 --> 00:37:53.760
I have another question to go with that.
00:37:54.000 --> 00:37:55.360
What about the people?
00:37:55.679 --> 00:38:04.559
So you you've talked about the people who maybe they don't feel so alone when they hear the story or someone else's story or something like that.
00:38:04.800 --> 00:38:11.360
But what about the people who feel like they can't relate and they go, that doesn't apply to me?
00:38:11.679 --> 00:38:17.199
So when when they listen to a podcast or just listen to the story?
00:38:17.519 --> 00:38:33.039
When they listen to the story, okay, and the person can't make the connection or relate, or they kind of think, this doesn't have anything to do with me, or I've never experienced that before, or this doesn't apply to me.
00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:37.440
Okay, so here's the good thing about stories.
00:38:38.000 --> 00:38:55.840
You may not see yourself in that story if the person tells that, but you may have a friend, you may have a spouse, you have your children, and then you see that person in that story, and now you can help that person, right?
00:38:56.480 --> 00:39:06.079
And and when I share like my stories, okay, sometimes I share other people's stories, right?
00:39:06.960 --> 00:39:17.760
And you always have to make sure to tie it to something, even if that story doesn't relate to you.
00:39:17.920 --> 00:39:27.039
To give you an example, and that's also another chapter I share in my book, Gum Chin, and I call it the invisible stage.
00:39:27.920 --> 00:39:50.079
Now, I discovered what I learned about the invisible stage during my time as an actress, and I'm not gonna tell the story now, but I had to prepare for a role that I wanted to get months and months and months in advance.
00:39:50.400 --> 00:39:54.400
The audition took about five minutes, right?
00:39:55.360 --> 00:40:07.280
But that five minutes or the months of unseen practices made those five minutes worthwhile.
00:40:07.519 --> 00:40:26.960
And I'm sharing the story to demonstrate that we have to work in the unseen moments, we have to master the moments no one sees, to lead the moments everyone remembers.
00:40:27.280 --> 00:40:35.039
Now, that person cannot relate to it as far as, hey, yeah, I'm not an actor, right?
00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:40.880
But what they can relate to is the message that I have, right?
00:40:41.599 --> 00:40:50.079
Master the moments no one sees, and I always bring it, tying it together to the audience.
00:40:50.320 --> 00:41:01.599
When I shared the story just recently, there were like hundreds of people in the audience, but everyone, first of all, and that's the power of story.
00:41:01.760 --> 00:41:11.440
When I said, or I entered the stage, everyone saw a different stage because it's in their mind.
00:41:11.679 --> 00:41:20.800
That's the power of storytelling, and then everyone could relate to it because I
said we have to prepare.
00:41:21.199 --> 00:41:28.079
Now, everyone in life has to prepare for something, right?
00:41:28.559 --> 00:41:36.719
So that is the power of stories, even if it's not directly related to it.
00:41:36.960 --> 00:41:42.079
Number one, you can put it into your life, into your business.
00:41:42.400 --> 00:41:47.599
Number two, you can relate to it because you see it in other people.
00:41:48.000 --> 00:41:55.440
That just gave me chills, and I love what you said about mastering the moments no one ever sees.
00:41:56.079 --> 00:42:13.840
Because people see the highlight reels all day long on people's social media, but they don't know all the work and the preparation that went into whatever that achievement was, or that that business that is now successful.
00:42:14.000 --> 00:42:22.719
There's a lot of businesses that get started on late nights and evenings and weekends and hotel Wi-Fi.
00:42:23.280 --> 00:42:24.719
You're so right.
00:42:25.360 --> 00:42:30.400
And and and that is a powerful point that you made there.
00:42:30.960 --> 00:42:32.559
We have to prepare.
00:42:32.719 --> 00:42:59.280
And let me tell you, where I am today, it was years in the making, years and years and years, and even though I was a performer, I was not afraid to speak on stages, I could tell you stories all day long, but I had to learn how to put it into the business world.
00:42:59.599 --> 00:43:12.400
I had to learn from other coaches, other mentors, other people who already mastered it, to now do what I do.
00:43:12.639 --> 00:43:15.360
And this is another thing, what you said there.
00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:20.800
Yeah, those late nights and and figuring things out.
00:43:20.960 --> 00:43:45.280
And my biggest piece of advice I can give someone today, if you want to either start a business, if you want to learn how to speak, whatever it is, whatever your objective is, get help.
00:43:46.000 --> 00:43:53.039
And get help from someone who's already doing what you want to do.
00:43:53.360 --> 00:43:59.440
Be cautious of getting help from your best friend, right, who has never.
00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:05.760
Spoken on stages, but all of a sudden wants to give you advice how to become a great speaker, right?
00:44:06.239 --> 00:44:09.519
Just as an example, it goes into many other things.
00:44:09.840 --> 00:44:11.599
Always find something.
00:44:11.920 --> 00:44:14.239
And here is another piece of advice.
00:44:14.320 --> 00:44:18.960
And take it from me because I have done many of those mistakes.
00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:25.360
And especially me being that strong woman, I can figure it out on my own.
00:44:25.599 --> 00:44:32.880
And that takes a long time, a lot of headaches and heartaches, and a lot of missed opportunities.
00:44:33.039 --> 00:44:43.840
And by that I mean I could have made money so much earlier if I would have invested in myself, getting the right coach, right?
00:44:44.400 --> 00:44:51.920
So think about the cost that you would have when you don't get the help.
00:44:52.320 --> 00:44:53.920
And I get it.
00:44:54.079 --> 00:45:01.199
And especially when you start out, you're on a oftentimes, not always, oftentimes you're on a shoestring budget.
00:45:01.599 --> 00:45:08.400
And yes, if you have that, you have to listen to more free stuff, get some more free stuff.
00:45:08.719 --> 00:45:19.039
That takes a long time because you have to figure things out and go through all those things, and there's another danger in it because this person says this.
00:45:19.280 --> 00:45:20.159
Oh, yeah, that's good.
00:45:20.239 --> 00:45:27.199
Oh, there's another person or another strategy or another something, and then you go for this a little bit.
00:45:27.440 --> 00:45:33.199
Oh, there's another thing, and that takes so much energy and time.
00:45:34.000 --> 00:45:37.920
So make sure to find someone.
00:45:38.079 --> 00:45:49.679
And I don't care if it's me, if it's you, Pauline, or if it's anybody else, just find someone that you can relate to and then check them out.
00:45:49.840 --> 00:45:56.239
Follow them, see what they are doing, see if that energy aligns with you.
00:45:56.639 --> 00:46:02.800
And if this is the case, then figure out how they can help you.
00:46:03.280 --> 00:46:16.159
You will cut so much time that will get you faster to where you want to go and perhaps faster the income, what we call the return of investment.
00:46:16.559 --> 00:46:17.760
I love that.
00:46:18.000 --> 00:46:20.239
And I have one more question.
00:46:20.880 --> 00:46:31.519
When someone finishes reading Gumption, what do you hope they carry with them long after they've turned the last page?
00:46:31.920 --> 00:46:40.880
I hope that they always carry the well, they will get each one will get different things out of it.
00:46:41.039 --> 00:46:44.639
And that's how I wrote this book.
00:46:44.880 --> 00:46:48.000
It's not to say do this, do that, do that.
00:46:48.239 --> 00:46:48.559
No.
00:46:48.880 --> 00:46:51.119
It's I give invitations.
00:46:52.159 --> 00:47:00.400
And the good thing is that you may get something different out of this chapter than someone else.
00:47:00.960 --> 00:47:12.960
And whatever you learn from it or you get aha moments, the one thing take action, be bold.
00:47:13.519 --> 00:47:26.480
And as my tagline says, be open to those sacred whispers, because that is an energy that is something we cannot see, but just be open to it.
00:47:26.960 --> 00:47:31.679
And that is the to intuition that guided me for all my life.
00:47:31.920 --> 00:47:39.360
And when you feel something, discernment comes in, yes, but sometimes just gonna go for it.
00:47:39.679 --> 00:47:51.440
And even if you fail, it's okay, because that just showed you one thing that didn't work, but don't stop, take another path.
00:47:51.920 --> 00:48:00.880
So, to sum it up, whatever you feel, take action with gumption.
00:48:01.519 --> 00:48:02.639
That's amazing.
00:48:02.880 --> 00:48:06.719
So, if anybody wants to get in touch with you, how can they do that?
00:48:07.039 --> 00:48:10.960
Just follow me on on social media.
00:48:11.199 --> 00:48:15.519
My name is right there, Sabine Kavenberg.com.
00:48:16.159 --> 00:48:26.000
And if you want to have some resources for what I do have a free kit that I want to give away, and that is the accompany guide from Gumpchen.
00:48:26.239 --> 00:48:31.280
So there is a bold move kit, and you can download it on my resource page.
00:48:31.599 --> 00:48:48.000
And if anything spoke to you today, and you feel you would love to learn more and perhaps learn how we could work together, you can always schedule a time on my calendar.
00:48:48.239 --> 00:48:52.719
Just go to talk to Sabine.com.
00:48:53.199 --> 00:49:02.000
I'll share those links in the show notes so that everyone can access your site and find you on social media.
00:49:02.159 --> 00:49:03.119
Just want to let you know.
00:49:03.199 --> 00:49:06.159
I'll share those links in the in the show notes.
00:49:06.480 --> 00:49:12.480
Sabina, thank you so much for sharing your heart and your story with us today.
00:49:12.719 --> 00:49:23.360
One of the things I appreciate most about you is that you remind us courage is not reserved for extraordinary people.
00:49:23.679 --> 00:49:31.440
It's something we cultivate, one choice, one conversation, and one step of faith at a time.
00:49:31.920 --> 00:49:43.760
If today's conversation inspired you, I encourage you to pick up a copy of Sabina's brand new book, Gumption: Sacred Whispers, Bold Moves, and the Courage to Become.
00:49:44.239 --> 00:49:56.880
Whether you're navigating a life transition, pursuing a dream, or simply looking for the courage to take your next step, I think you'll find encouragement and wisdom within its pages.
00:49:57.199 --> 00:50:14.400
If you're looking for an engaging keynote speaker or someone to help your organization communicate more effectively, build confidence, and create lasting impact, be sure to connect with Sabina through Impact Communication Coaching.
00:50:14.719 --> 00:50:23.199
Her presentations and coaching have inspired leaders, entrepreneurs, and organizations around the world.
00:50:23.519 --> 00:50:28.079
Thank you for joining us for another episode of the Pauline Chilton Show.
00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:39.599
If you enjoyed today's conversation, please subscribe, leave a review, and share this episode with someone who could use a little more courage in their life.
00:50:39.760 --> 00:50:43.519
Until next time, take care of yourself and be kind to one another.
00:50:43.679 --> 00:50:47.920
And remember, you don't have to have all the answers today.
00:50:48.239 --> 00:50:53.679
Sometimes all it takes is the courage to take the very next step.