TRANSKRIPTIO 🔗
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Hello, and welcome back to the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast.
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As you know, my name is Nicole, and I'm so excited to be here today with Hilda.
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And so Hilda is gonna take it away.
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Um, she is a development coach.
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She, I'm not gonna butcher it.
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So, Hilda, take it away.
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Tell us a little bit about who you are and who you help.
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Okay, thank you, Nicole, for having me and thank you to your audience for listening today.
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It's gonna be a great episode.
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I'm a top executive leadership coach.
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I work two decades since I began my journey, and I love it.
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I'm passionate and committed to put my print in others' lives.
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Um, and I do that really very often with leaders and top executives, but of course, I do it in every conversation, and that is a great opportunity today to do that.
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I love that.
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And we are all the top executives of our lives, right?
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We have so many different areas to manage, so many people we have to interact with.
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And so, in a way, we all are our own top executive managing our lives, right?
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So we all have a little bit to learn from you.
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I love that.
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Yeah, thank you.
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I do believe the work is an inside job, and we need to have this self-leadership to lead others and to live the business and life.
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Yes, yes.
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So, can you tell us a little bit about your story and how you came into this?
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And you've written a book, so I'd love to hear a little bit of the background of how that book came to life.
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Okay, maybe I can begin with a conversation.
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I do have a daughter and a son.
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We were on vacation uh December 22 years ago, and I was asking my daughter what she wanted at that moment from the next year because she was going to travel to Spain and to Spain and spend uh six months there studying.
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And after she finished, she asked me the same, and it was a huge opportunity relax the sun, the swimming pool, to begin a conversation with myself and my daughter about what else do I want?
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And if I want, because I was a trainer in core skills, um, what else do I want?
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And I began my reflection of why I teach coaching and I'm not a coach.
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Um,
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so I came back from vacations, I contact somebody, and I began my journey of 10 different certifications because when you begin, you are so committed with um supporting people towards success all the time you are looking for new possibilities, new inner work, and how do I approach my life and others' life to get what they want?
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That's beautiful.
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Um, so how do we do that?
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How do we how do we apply these skills to get what we want?
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So teach us, coach us.
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Yeah, I I always think that the first step is a conversation with yourself.
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Listen, what do you want?
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Who do you want to become?
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Are you the leader that the company needs?
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Are you the person that has a fulfilling life?
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Um, do you want to create new possibilities or capabilities in yourself?
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Uh, do you want to achieve different kinds of results?
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So this is a journey.
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Defining who do you want to become is the first step to actually doing that.
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And I do have an amazing example because I was um having a conversation with a friend of mine, and he has a new job proposal, and he began like, okay, here I will have the salary and those days that um vacation, those days off, and those bonuses, and what and I said, Stop first of all, what do you want?
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And he he was open, wide open his eyes.
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He was so shocked, and he said, I never ask myself that question, and I said, gosh, listen, guy, you have 48 years.
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Are you expecting to ask yourself that question when you are going to grow up?
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You are a grown-up.
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So ask yourself what do you want in life in a different stage?
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And that question, Nicole, is a perfect question every 10 years because we don't want the same at our 30s and 40s and 50s and 60s and plus.
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So we change in needs and motivations and expectations, and we get more mature, and it's important to ask ourselves that question.
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So the first step always is defining who do you want to become?
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What else do you want in life?
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What are your passions?
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What is a perfect timing because you are going to create it to build something that is important to you?
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So the relevance question is quite important.
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What is important for me in this stage of life?
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What do I want?
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Okay, my kids got married, so I'm in a different stage.
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So what do I want to build in this stage?
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Um, so this is the first step, and a second one can be okay, I do have clarity, so I need a plan.
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Understanding who do I want to become, I need a plan and an steps and actions to cover step by step and to go from here to there.
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And practice is everything because guy, um, we read a book and maybe we don't apply anything, and we go to a master class, webinar, or a training, and maybe I heard two, three ideas, and I don't put them into practice.
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So knowledge will not transform you, is the practice, but also the practice is not once in a week, once in a month, or once in a year, is every day, every day until it will have the capacity to transform you.
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And here is the tricky part.
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We want, we are here, we want something, and this is not a straight line, right?
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Yes, there are some obstacles as the name of your podcast that you need to overcome.
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And when I ask my client, okay, listen, there are three things that stops you you, the people, and the context.
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What is the first one?
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And they always answer, it's me.
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Because I decided to go into a diet and I saw a cake in my fridge, and I forget the diet a few hours later that I beg uh from from the moment I began, and I said I'm going to the gym, so I sign up, I go this week, and I never go back.
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So practice is every day, and there are small practices you can keep to go, and you can resist, you need to resist yourself because the changing line is straight before it grows, and it's straight, and for example, I want to um lose 10 pounds, and I'm doing a diet, day one, two, three the whole week, and I'm not comfortable yet.
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So this is a moment when I can say forget it again, this is impossible.
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I cannot deal with it.
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So next week, maybe next month I'm going to be less stressed.
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So maybe in another moment.
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So we quit.
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We are quitters of our own plans.
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So if you keep going, going, going every day in tiny small steps that can transform you, it will do.
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But we love quick fixes, fast answers, speed to open my eyes, and suddenly something changed, and that's not the reality.
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Yeah.
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Um, one of the things that I write about in my book is one of the lessons that I learned um is that motivation, we don't understand how motivation works at all.
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And we think we think that motivation is just gonna poop clunk us on the head out of nowhere.
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Inspiration can work like that.
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You're you're taking a shower, you're washing your hair, and you get an idea.
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Oh my gosh, this will work.
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Inspiration can definitely just hit you on the side of the head, right?
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The light bulb comes on.
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But motivation doesn't work like that.
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Motivation, the way that I see it, is a kinetic energy.
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It's like gas in the tank, but nothing.
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Oh, this is a good one.
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I hadn't come up with this analogy yet.
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This is happening live with you, right?
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It's like gas in the engine.
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But if you don't turn the car on and if you don't start moving, that gas isn't gonna do anything.
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And so it's motivation comes from doing the thing.
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So the motivation comes from putting on the shoes, the the the you know, the sneakers.
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Like instead of maybe, maybe the gym is too big of a goal, but maybe I can walk around the block, you know, after dinner every night because it's accessible, I don't have to pay anything, it's right there.
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I could just walk around the block, you know, or get on the treadmill or do some, you know, some some jump rope in front of the TV instead of sitting on the couch, like these little tiny things that you commit to for five minutes.
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Just five minutes.
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I don't have to do a half hour.
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Let me just stand here next to the TV for five minutes.
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Once you're in it, that motivation can start to grow because the the ball gets rolling, and then you're like, well, you know what?
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Five minutes is easy.
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Let me do 10 minutes now, and it starts becoming a part of your routine because one of the things that you mentioned was it's not about starting, it's about maintaining.
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Like you have to be able to do something in the long run, right?
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Um, and that's why a lot of diets don't work.
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You cut out everything, everything you like, all the foods that you like, and you leave yourself with a piece of lettuce.
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You're gonna be hungry.
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That doesn't make any sense.
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You can't do that, you know, for 10 years.
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So it's about learning those tiny little
things that you could do every day to create that that person that you want, right?
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So, what do you think about that analogy?
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Yeah, I love it, I love it.
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And I had a client, she was in pandemic times, and she she she was living at that time from abroad in the states, and her mother-in-law came to live with them, so the whole house became a mess and different kinds of routines and food and everything.
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So after COVID, she had an awful physical condition and she had more pounds.
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And when she began coaching, she began like, okay, from tomorrow on, I will go every day to the gym for an hour and I will reduce carbs to zero, and I will leave sugar-free.
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I said, Ho ho, hold it.
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You're gonna hate your life.
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You are going to hate your life, and this is only for one, two, or three days.
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Yeah, I don't, I bet that you will not stick to that for a week.
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Do you have something at home?
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Yes, she said, a treadmill.
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Ah, that is so perfect.
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Could you go for five minutes in a walk in your treadmill?
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And she said, gosh, I can do more.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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But you can go for five minutes, and she said, Yes, of course, uh, every day.
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No, no, no, no, not every day.
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We are going to begin slowly to allow your brain not to get in shock.
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So you are going to do that uh three times a week.
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So if it's uh Friday and you haven't been there, you need to cover three times a week.
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Is that okay?
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Yeah, that is perfect.
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And the story is she began with five minutes, and after that, she was five minutes, she can stay for 10 or 15, and she did three three times a week, and now she exercised and she reduced carbs, but not all the carbs, and now she is where she wants, but this didn't happen in a moment.
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So I I don't like the formula of the 21 days to build a habit.
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It's like crazy because you 21 days hold yourself from doing something, and on day 22, you began your um your your old habits to appear.
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So you go to the pantry for a chocolate and the fridge for a cake and an ice cream, and in 21 days you didn't change, it was only the beginning of a journey.
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So we need also to remove in our head this understanding that in 21 days I swear I will be different because it's not going to happen.
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Right.
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It takes 21 days to start building a habit, but it takes like three to six months to actually start seeing the benefits of that habit.
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It's something that you have to because that's where like I I went into like the neuroscience of it all in your brain in my book, and how there's, you know, the neurons have little pathways.
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And so when you have habits that are ingrained, those neurons are very used to taking that path.
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It's like, you know, there's grass and there's a little way, and they just go that way.
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And as you're building a new habit, you're building a new path.
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But a path that you've been taking for 21 days, you started making a path, but you haven't killed the grass there yet.
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It is so much easier for the neuron to take the path that's already cleared.
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And so, yeah, you started clearing the path, but you have to keep taking that path for three to six months to start seeing a path coming out, right?
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Um, and so yeah, there's there's science behind what you're talking about.
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And 21 is like you said, just the beginning of that.
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No, it's just the beginning.
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And in my book, Power Up, I do invite for a 30-day challenge.
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Again, a 30-day is the beginning of the journey, it's only to get familiar with what you are defining and building, and your steps and your actions, and how you achieve results, and what do you need to do to sustain?
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And when I listen at you three, six months, I do have a personal story because I hate it, and the word is that I hate little things in life, but that one to exercise, to work out, I hated for 47 years.
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So when I started coaching, I decided to try to understand what were my blockers and how to overcome them.
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Um, so I signed up for the gym for 20 minutes, three times a week, and I was very committed, and I realized that I have awful um meanings about exercise.
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For me, it was tired, sweat, um, difficult, sacrifice, and I said boring.
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Who wants to go to the gym if those are the outcomes you have in your head?
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Yes.
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So when I realized that, I began to change the meanings, and I put some AirPods and music, and I began a conversation, and after 10 months, 10 Nicole, I began to go to a race and I walked um 10 kilometers, I walked and I love it, and after that I sign up for seven different marathons, and so from not doing I'm I have it so proudly in my lifestyle, so I work out seven days a week.
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I do because you like this routine because I love it, but I used to hate it, so there's hope.
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There really is hope in life for others.
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Yes, I love that.
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You know what?
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And I went um a few years ago.
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We gotta go back.
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We went on a bike ride, and it's this loop, it's in the Everglades.
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I'm in Miami, so we're in the Everglades, and it's this big loop, and it ends all the way at the end.
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There's like a there's like a lookout, there's a bridge, it's really nice.
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You can go look at the Everglades, and but that's not that's not what it was.
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So it takes it's seven miles one way and eight miles another.
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So it's a 15-mile bike ride, and like you can come across gators and stuff, but when I was out there in the sun and I was pedaling, one of the things that I learned in that 15-mile journey was it's the mindset, like you were saying.
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Oh, yeah, it's so boring.
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Like it's not that I was tired, it's not that my legs hurt, it wasn't it wasn't any of that.
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It's like, how do I stay focused on this and just do this boring repetitive thing?
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And it's exactly what you said is finding things to be great, you know, like my thing is gratitude.
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So finding little things to be grateful for, shifting your perspective, and then it makes it easier because the 15 miles wasn't it like it wasn't hard as you know, because you're on the bike, so you're good.
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You're just you know, but it's the mindset, like you're talking to yourself, you're like, oh my god, it's so long, it's so boring, I just can't wait to get back to the car.
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Like, what if a gator gets me?
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Um, you know, that I didn't enjoy it as much.
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But then at the end, you know, like we do as humans, I was like, oh my god, that's amazing.
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Let's do it again.
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I can't wait to go back.
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Um, but yeah, it's all about what's going on in here.
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Like when you're in the gym, it's boring.
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Like all you're doing is one, two, three, or you're you're you know, you're walking.
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It's it admittedly, it's boring.
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You have to sit there and deal with yourself, like you have to be mentally healthy enough to be alone and quiet with yourself for 30 minutes or for an hour, right?
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Because if not, those
thoughts start attacking you.
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So it's all about what's going on up here.
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Yeah, yeah.
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And when I listen to what you said, we need to stop our inner voice because is if not, it's going to kill us.
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Stop that so boring.
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Who wants to do that?
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This is awful.
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I cannot.
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Gosh, I I have.
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Have um cover three miles, still seven to that way, eight to yeah, yeah, exactly.
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So we need to stop our inner voice when our inner voice is not supporting our goals and our possibilities.
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And I was running one day and I was tired, and my feet were so tired, really, that I couldn't make it.
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And I began like you cannot cover 18 kilometers today, and you want to run a marathon.
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That's so crazy.
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You cannot see yourself.
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So suddenly I stopped myself from running and I said, gosh, stop.
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Stop.
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I didn't came today to decide if I'm going to run a marathon.
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I came today to cover 18 kilometers.
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Can I do that?
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And it was shocking that conversation with myself.
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And I said yes.
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Okay, so I am going to cover it the way I can walking or running or stopping or drinking water or whatever.
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I'm going to cover my distance.
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That are you crazy?
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You want to run a marathon and you are not ready for it.
00:24:32.720 --> 00:24:37.759
I went for a marathon and I crossed the finish line seven times.
00:24:37.920 --> 00:24:38.400
Yeah.
00:24:39.039 --> 00:24:41.200
So that is so possible.
00:24:41.920 --> 00:24:42.480
I love it.
00:24:43.680 --> 00:24:59.279
To overcome yourself and your thoughts, and to stop your thinking, and when your brain thinks you are in at risk, you need to breathe.
00:25:00.480 --> 00:25:00.960
Yes.
00:25:01.279 --> 00:25:05.759
And to recover yourself to go further.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:08.480
Because that is possible.
00:25:09.759 --> 00:25:13.680
And that is a great introduction to what I was going to say next.
00:25:13.839 --> 00:25:17.200
You mentioned that you have a special gift that might help us do that.
00:25:17.279 --> 00:25:19.279
So can you tell us a little bit about that?
00:25:19.599 --> 00:25:20.400
Yeah, sure.
00:25:20.559 --> 00:25:24.879
My book is Power Up, and I do have a lead magnet.
00:25:25.119 --> 00:25:52.000
So write me and go to my website, and I will be so glad if you leave your email and your name to email you
because you are going to find different steps to rest your mind and to recover your energy and go forward for what you want.
00:25:52.960 --> 00:26:01.039
It's like hacks and tricks to allow yourself to understand how to recover your energy.
00:26:01.200 --> 00:26:05.599
And when you have back your energy, your possibilities are there.
00:26:06.319 --> 00:26:13.599
But if you are so drained, you are not going to do anything.
00:26:13.920 --> 00:26:14.240
Yes.
00:26:14.400 --> 00:26:16.400
Can you tell us your website?
00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:18.240
Just perhaps have it as a record.
00:26:18.720 --> 00:26:22.879
It's HildaFainsaw, my name is HildaFainsaw.com.
00:26:23.519 --> 00:26:24.160
Perfect.
00:26:24.319 --> 00:26:24.720
Perfect.
00:26:24.879 --> 00:26:25.200
Perfect.
00:26:25.359 --> 00:26:26.799
And you mentioned the name of your book.
00:26:26.879 --> 00:26:28.079
Can you say that again for us?
00:26:28.400 --> 00:26:33.519
Yeah, it's Power Up, the Executive Roadmap to Transforming Life and Business.
00:26:34.160 --> 00:26:34.799
Love it.
00:26:34.960 --> 00:26:38.319
And as you guys know, all those uh links will be down in the comments.
00:26:38.400 --> 00:26:40.799
And how do we follow you on social media?
00:26:41.119 --> 00:26:46.879
Yep, Hilda Feinsaw in Instagram, LinkedIn, same name.
00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:51.839
And I do have a website in English, a website in Spanish.
00:26:52.079 --> 00:26:55.359
Social media for now is in Spanish.
00:26:55.599 --> 00:26:59.599
So if you want, I do have a book in Spanish too.
00:26:59.839 --> 00:27:09.599
The first one was Buen Camino, como reinventarte en un mundo que ya cambió, because I wrote it in in COVID times.
00:27:10.160 --> 00:27:13.920
So that was my first in Spanish, that is my language.
00:27:14.160 --> 00:27:20.319
And after that, I decided to go for a different challenge, a bigger one.
00:27:20.480 --> 00:27:23.519
So that's why Power Up is in English.
00:27:24.079 --> 00:27:24.879
Amazing.
00:27:25.039 --> 00:27:27.440
So it's not a translation of Power Up.
00:27:27.599 --> 00:27:28.160
It's a different book.
00:27:28.400 --> 00:27:29.599
There are two different books.
00:27:29.839 --> 00:27:31.039
Okay, cool, cool, cool.
00:27:31.200 --> 00:27:33.920
So you have like four books there if you translate that.
00:27:34.480 --> 00:27:37.759
Yeah, yeah, I can I can do that, of course.
00:27:38.640 --> 00:27:46.240
I'm working on Power Up because I live in Mexico and part of my time I spend in Spain.
00:27:46.559 --> 00:27:53.759
So I need a book in Spanish, and Power Up is an amazing book of how to overcome yourself.
00:27:54.000 --> 00:27:57.359
Yes, I'll be translating overcome yourself this year.
00:27:57.440 --> 00:27:58.640
That's one of my goals.
00:27:58.720 --> 00:28:03.039
Um, to translate into Spanish because Spanish is also my first language as well.
00:28:03.200 --> 00:28:07.200
Um, and so yeah, I want to make it accessible to my community, right?
00:28:07.279 --> 00:28:09.200
To both everyone in my community.
00:28:09.359 --> 00:28:11.279
And so, yeah, that's a beautiful thing.
00:28:11.440 --> 00:28:15.839
Um, all right, and then before we sign off, we'd like to finish off with a final tip.
00:28:15.920 --> 00:28:20.160
So, can you give us one best tip uh based on everything we talked about today, Hilda?
00:28:20.720 --> 00:28:21.680
Oh, yeah.
00:28:22.400 --> 00:28:30.879
One that came into my mind in the conversation was that suddenly we are weak.
00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:54.079
So I decided I decided to go into a diet, and I couldn't hold myself, and I take this scoop of ice cream, but it's not the same to do that and at lunchtime or dinner go back to my habit than to throw everything away.
00:28:54.559 --> 00:29:10.000
So allow yourself if you want badly something to do it, and after that, go to the same road that allows you to cover your dreams and aspirations.
00:29:12.079 --> 00:29:14.720
We can make little stops on the road, but stay on the road.
00:29:14.879 --> 00:29:18.079
Oh, yeah, take a little detour, take a little stop, but get back on the road.
00:29:18.160 --> 00:29:19.200
Don't leave the main road.
00:29:19.279 --> 00:29:20.319
Yes, I love that.
00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:21.440
I love that so much.
00:29:21.519 --> 00:29:25.039
Thank you so much for being us today here here with us today, Hilda.
00:29:25.119 --> 00:29:31.839
This has been a fantastic episode, and we will catch you guys next time on the next episode of Overcome Yourself the Podcast.
00:29:32.160 --> 00:29:32.720
Bye.
00:29:34.400 --> 00:29:35.039
Bye.