TRANSKRIPTIO 🔗
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Expect the unexpected.
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Jump off that exhausting hamster wheel and into balanced living
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with Dr.
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Marissa. Dr.
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Marisa, also known as the Asian Oprah. Her mission, to
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be a beneficial presence on the planet. Her purpose, to
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be your personal advocate to live, laugh, love, learn. Her
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life motto, don't die wondering. Take back your life with Dr.
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Marisa Pei.
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And.
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You're tuned in to take my advice I'm not using
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it Get balanced with Dr.
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Marissa The Morning Show Here on KCAA.
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NBC News CNBC News and NBC Sports Radio Station Home
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to the Asian Oprah Number one talk in the IE
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Thank you very much AM 1050 FM 106.5 And streaming
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everywhere iHeart Radio Spotify iTunes TuneIn.
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Audible Amazon Music Tiki Lab Rumble Budgets The Streaker Sweaker And.
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More Why so many places?
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I want to maximize my splatter zone for more hope
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and happiness.
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So there's no gossip, no scandal, no keywords, no Kardashian talk,
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no headlines.
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Nothing that will give you a case of the four A's. Angry, aggravated, anxious,
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and afraid. That's what happens when you read the news
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because if it bleeds, it leads, and I don't want
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you bleeding or in a bad mood when you wake
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up or when you're driving. That's why I have topics
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and guests.
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Two, make you feel better, not worse.
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And today is absolutely no exception. My guest is actually
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my co-host of a very popular series on Wednesdays called
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Doctors in the House with myself and.
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Dr. Tiffany Tate.
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And who is Dr.
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Tiffany Tate?
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For those of you who might be new and had
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no idea that I have someone in studio who is
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a counterpart to my PhD, which just stands for Piledire
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and Duper.
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She's a medical doctor. She's an OBGYN from Compton, California.
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She's also a U.S. Navy veteran.
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She's also a playwright, singer, poet, songwriter. and a children's
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book author.
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Extraordinaire. She has multiple, multiple books now.
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Her latest, Perfectly Perfect, has been on the road and
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getting much positive reaction and reception. And if she's not
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busy enough, she's also thrown her hat into the ring
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for California State Senate. Please welcome back to my studio, Dr.
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Tiffany Tate.
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Applause Hello, hello. Happy wonderful Wednesday, everyone. So glad to
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be here with you.
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Glad to be here with you as well.
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And we're going to start the show as I do
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every weekday morning with breakfast. Taking a bite of my
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gratitude sandwich.
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Top of the bun. We look around us.
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What are we.
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Grateful for outside of ourselves? And then bottom of the
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bun before you go to bed tonight. What are you
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grateful for inside of yourself?
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Dr.
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Tiffany, tell me what you're grateful for.
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I am grateful just to be alive because every day
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is a day of Thanksgiving. And since we are starting
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off this fabulous November, I am just starting off with thankfulness.
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Great months to be grateful. And man.
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Every time, you know, that whole, the season of Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas,
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it's like, already? Didn't we just finish Valentine's Day? Anyways,
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I'm really grateful that we are in that season as well.
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It usually tries to make people nicer.
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I am also grateful that the planets didn't crash into
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each other last night. We have another new day to live, love, laugh,
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and respect, and honor, and be in bliss and wonder.
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And for that, I am grateful. I'm grateful for my co-host, Dr.
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Tiffany Tate. It's always fun. Every week, we have a
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date here on the show. And she has a beautiful family.
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that I love and try to tempt them always to
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Load full transcript
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come down and play games because we are all very
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competitive and that's also very nice. What else are you
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grateful for?
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I'm grateful for all the interviews I've been having for
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my book, Perfectly Perfect. And actually today I will be
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driving down to LA for an in-person interview with And
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I'm grateful for that. And last week I had another
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interview for my book, Perfectly Perfect. So I'm grateful for
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all of that as well.
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Beautiful.
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I'm grateful that I am still in the top post
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Ryan Seacrest competition. I have been steadily rising and being
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on the good side.
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Of the cuts. So thank you so much.
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All of you who are voting for me, just Google Ryan.
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top host and Asian Oprah, and you get one free
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vote sometimes, two free votes a day.
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And I'm so, so grateful.
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It gives me a chance to have a date with Ryan, $ 25, 000
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recording contract, which will help me spread my happy 88 mission,
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88 million more happy people in the next eight years.
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So thank you very much.
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Xie xie for all of the continued support for that.
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So let's go to the bottom of the bun, which
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is I want you to work out and strengthen your
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muscle for self-love, self-care, self-soothing, because I believe that is
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the bedrock of.
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Good mental health. So we're not looking for love in
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all the wrong places, but we look to ourselves.
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So before you go to bed tonight, I want you
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to say, what do I appreciate about myself? So, Dr.
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Tiffany, what do you like about yourself?
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I like the fact that no matter what my circumstances,
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I can find joy in life. And I think that
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is important because we have to be able to find joy.
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Yeah. I have an addiction to joy. That's how I
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put it.
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I appreciate my ability to grow and expand and change
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and Not get stuck in the pain.
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You know, pain in life is mandatory. Suffering is optional.
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And I appreciate my.
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Ability to feel pain fully, which is something that I
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get to talk about in my book that.
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Fell on the ground. I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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I'm sorry.
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But this little baby.
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Has now transferred into, I have all the rights now
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for it, and I'm really appreciative of that.
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Yay, thank you.
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And we're in negotiations for India and China.
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So I didn't know if I told you that.
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But as I speak in the book, which is just
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self-help on steroids, is that if I can't appreciate myself,
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I can't expect anybody else to. So I appreciate my
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ability to be my own best friend and biggest cheerleader.
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And that work is so important.
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And I'm really grateful that I have a book that
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hit number one national bestseller and Amazon to help people
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do that.
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And for that, I appreciate it. Thank you. All right.
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I think that's good for breakfast.
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Are you good?
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I'm full. Are you full? Awesome.
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Thanks for joining us for breakfast this morning. Every weekday morning,
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you can join me now or later. And I promise
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you will sandwich your day in the most positive way.
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Thanks for joining us for breakfast.
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And now for the topic of the day.
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Dr.
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Tiffany.
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All right.
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So now it's time to lean in. Are you ready
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to swim in it with me? Take a bite of this.
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We're going to dive in and swim in it, toss it,
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flip it up, rub it down, smack it upside down.
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We're going to talk about discipline versus motivation, people. Which
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do you prefer? Neither.
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Neither?
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Do they go hand in hand? Let's take a stand
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and join the caravan of love. I
think there was
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a song like that. I think we need a little
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bit of both because right now we definitely need to
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talk about this. I know I have been guilty of
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being more motivated at times. I've needed some discipline. You
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have to have discipline to become a physician. You have
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to have discipline to get your PhD. But I know
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I've been on a roller coaster of this thing called life.
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And at time I've had the motivation, at time I've
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lacked it. the motivation. At time I've had the discipline,
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at time I've lacked the discipline. And I'm practical. I'm
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not here to judge you. I'm just here to inform you.
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What do you say, Dr.
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Marista?
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Well, I'm here to judge you. No, I'm kidding.
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Um, First I roll, people. First I roll.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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We're starting early. We're starting early.
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First of many.
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Well, you know, discipline is one of those words that,
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you know, sort of give you like the icks, like
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almost immediately. I don't know about you, but discipline is
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a hard word. It's a, you know, it's just something
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that has.
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You know, you're not like, oh, I love discipline. Give
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me more.
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No.
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Discipline is. So I actually change it.
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And following my big brother, Michael Bernard Beckwith, founder of
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Agape International Spiritual Center, who's also the top voter in
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my top host competition.
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Thank you very much, big bro. He calls it bliss-a-plin.
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Hashtag bliss-a-plin.
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So that's my first thought is if I'm much more, uh, uh,
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desirous and eager to talk about discipline versus discipline.
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So just a little, if you're like.
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Me and you might, um, and you deserve eye rolls too, uh, let's, let's, uh, balance.
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Out discipline with discipline.
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This is the same thing, something you want to do
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that's for your own good.
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Really?
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You're acting on your own behalf. When you have discipline, right?
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It's not for something to do that's going to make
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you worse. Discipline and discipline is really something to help
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make you better.
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And you want to be the best that you can be, right?
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Dr.
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Tiffany?
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Yes, you do. But look at it like this. And
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I know I've been there. You start, you get excited
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about a new relationship.
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Right.
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We get excited about starting a new business.
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Job.
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Yes, yes, yes. We become determined to write a book.
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Or we change our eating habits. Or we want to
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pursue a degree. I'm just talking about various different scenarios.
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Or we want to save money.
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Just toss up some scenarios that you can think of, Dr. Marissa.
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Yeah. Start a podcast.
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Organize our closet. Have you ever wanted to organize your closet?
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No.
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I know I'm always saying I want to organize my closet.
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You know what, Dr. Marissa. Next eye roll. The eye
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rolls are going to be coming fast and furious.
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No, I love organizing my closet because it's like shopping
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without money. Because I do that twice a year in spring, summer,
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and fall, winter. And I love it because I have
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all these, I bring them out and.
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I go, oh, I forgot about this. And oh, I
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love that. So anyways, yeah. But I'm weird.
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Yeah, but somewhere between all of this excitement, we lose
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the responsibility of continuing and our motivation disappears. And suddenly
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there's this little problem that creeps in. Because we have
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confused feeling ready with this thing, the C word called commitment. Dr. Marissa,
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don't look away.
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I don't know that word either, the P word or
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the C word.
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Motivation says, I really want to do
this. And discipline
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creeps in and says, well, I said I want to
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do this. And I'm going to honor this, but commitment,
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even when I don't feel like it. And so your
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body is having this whole little meeting. And now I
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want to make something clear. There's some statistics on this. Okay.
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Before you go to the statistics, I want to, I
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want to anchor this because the reality side of this,
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the two times at, to give you a full illustration
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where I know exactly what you're talking about, Dr.
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Tiffany.
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And I'm sure you have too. One was writing my dissertation.
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All right. That's why 85% of PhD students are ABD,
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all but dissertation, because the dissertation is a big, big elephant.
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And I don't like eating elephants. So one bite at
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a time doesn't make sense to me at all. But
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I would say, okay, next week I'm not going to
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do anything for the whole week.
255
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All I'm going to do is write the dissertation.
256
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Same with my book. I'm not going to do anything
257
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else except that week. Does this sound familiar for some,
258
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you know, your books or whatever?
259
00:15:15.929 --> 00:15:19.759
And I'm just the whole week. Don't call me. I
260
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have no dates. I have no responsibilities. That's all I'm
261
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going to do, right? Day one. I sit down. I
262
00:15:33.610 --> 00:15:35.429
think I have to organize my closet.
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Distraction one.
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I wonder what's in the fridge.
265
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Distraction two.
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I better call my kids.
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Distraction.
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00:15:49.700 --> 00:15:53.610
And then the whole, I'll do it tomorrow. We'll start tomorrow.
269
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We'll start tomorrow.
270
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Right?
271
00:15:55.149 --> 00:15:58.009
Today, I need a break. I need to just like
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chill out.
273
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Right, right.
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Tomorrow.
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00:16:01.669 --> 00:16:02.350
Good breakfast.
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00:16:06.360 --> 00:16:08.059
Oh, I didn't finish doing the closet.
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00:16:08.340 --> 00:16:11.440
So you got, I wanted to just be really moose
278
00:16:11.500 --> 00:16:14.740
on the table, tell
it like it is, my Canadian
279
00:16:14.759 --> 00:16:17.470
version of talking about the elephants in the room. So
280
00:16:17.549 --> 00:16:21.009
just in case you didn't think that this applied to you,
281
00:16:21.090 --> 00:16:25.659
this particular topic, I know that there's something in your
282
00:16:25.700 --> 00:16:28.100
life that you have not hit the complete.
283
00:16:28.580 --> 00:16:30.039
And this is for you.
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Okay.
285
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Let's go.
286
00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:33.820
Let's go to the statistics.
287
00:16:34.200 --> 00:16:41.929
And the reality is, is that most people experience being
288
00:16:42.009 --> 00:16:49.450
motivated without being disciplined almost every day. Every day. And
289
00:16:49.929 --> 00:16:55.740
a motivation is an emotional motivation. short-lived spark that naturally
290
00:16:55.820 --> 00:16:59.980
rises and falls. It rises and falls. And so, because
291
00:17:00.019 --> 00:17:03.649
we feel like this is pretty much unreliable. And let
292
00:17:03.690 --> 00:17:07.970
me tell you the statistics. Okay. It's up to 92%
293
00:17:07.970 --> 00:17:15.009
in goal-completed studies. 92%. And so, when you look at
294
00:17:15.049 --> 00:17:22.609
it like that, it's interesting. And so... you're not necessarily
295
00:17:23.769 --> 00:17:31.089
alone when it comes to the goal completion studies. So
296
00:17:31.690 --> 00:17:34.130
they didn't look at how many people do it, but
297
00:17:34.170 --> 00:17:37.859
when it comes to goal completion studies, it happens about
298
00:17:37.859 --> 00:17:39.099
92% of the time.
299
00:17:40.660 --> 00:17:44.579
That you don't complete your goals or that you do?
300
00:17:45.740 --> 00:17:49.319
They suffer with motivation issues.
301
00:17:49.680 --> 00:17:52.960
Oh, okay. 92% suffer with motivation issues.
302
00:17:53.019 --> 00:17:53.279
Got it.
303
00:17:53.279 --> 00:17:53.559
Yes.
304
00:17:53.880 --> 00:17:54.140
Okay.
305
00:17:54.339 --> 00:17:54.660
Yes.
306
00:17:54.720 --> 00:17:56.160
That's a high percentage.
307
00:17:56.480 --> 00:17:57.890
That's a high percent. Okay.
308
00:17:57.930 --> 00:17:58.890
So we're not alone.
309
00:17:59.369 --> 00:18:02.970
We are not alone. And that's why I said it's
310
00:18:03.009 --> 00:18:06.210
like the roller coaster. You know, you have your peaks
311
00:18:06.269 --> 00:18:08.640
and your valleys, your peaks and your valleys. So if
312
00:18:08.650 --> 00:18:10.339
you're wondering like, oh my goodness, why do I feel
313
00:18:10.359 --> 00:18:14.680
like this today? There's always tomorrow. And so I don't
314
00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:20.670
want you to be discouraged. And when you look at
315
00:18:20.950 --> 00:18:26.210
what is going on in your life, know that as
316
00:18:26.250 --> 00:18:28.970
long as there's tomorrow, it's a wonderful thing. And so
317
00:18:29.230 --> 00:18:35.339
when I picked this topic, I'm always counseling family. I'm
318
00:18:35.359 --> 00:18:38.839
always counseling friends. I'm always counseling my kids. That's why
319
00:18:38.920 --> 00:18:41.940
I picked this topic. And I started doing the research.
320
00:18:42.000 --> 00:18:45.980
I was like, wow. That's pretty significant because I'm always
321
00:18:46.140 --> 00:18:50.480
motivating them. And I look at that number and I said,
322
00:18:51.119 --> 00:18:55.309
this is an important topic to talk about because if
323
00:18:55.480 --> 00:18:59.230
I'm talking to them about this, I'm sure our listeners
324
00:18:59.650 --> 00:19:04.650
need to hear this too. And so I'm thinking, okay, well,
325
00:19:04.710 --> 00:19:08.059
let's take this and smack it, flip it up and
326
00:19:08.150 --> 00:19:10.539
swim in this and digest it and chew on this
327
00:19:10.579 --> 00:19:13.869
for a minute. Because we need to break this down
328
00:19:14.410 --> 00:19:17.210
and talk about it and help one another. Because when
329
00:19:17.269 --> 00:19:19.769
you ignore it, that's when it's a bigger problem.
330
00:19:20.490 --> 00:19:22.289
Yeah, for sure. For sure.
331
00:19:23.470 --> 00:19:28.130
And this is one of the reasons I think that
332
00:19:30.049 --> 00:19:36.819
it's so much easier to sit and binge watch or
333
00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:40.279
just fall into your daily habits.
334
00:19:41.269 --> 00:19:46.950
Of, you know, what is it?
335
00:19:46.960 --> 00:19:50.180
The mundane, not mundane, but just like, it's like, um
336
00:19:50.900 --> 00:19:55.660
i joke around with people who say exactly what i
337
00:19:55.720 --> 00:20:00.069
said is is it christmas already because your your whole
338
00:20:00.150 --> 00:20:04.029
year just goes by you know the same thing and
339
00:20:04.069 --> 00:20:08.609
you're not trying to finish anything because it's It's not easy.
340
00:20:09.029 --> 00:20:13.390
You have to have that discipline to continue to do
341
00:20:13.519 --> 00:20:18.920
things that aren't automatic. You brush your teeth because it's
342
00:20:18.980 --> 00:20:21.440
not that long.
343
00:20:21.460 --> 00:20:22.940
It's not that big of a deal.
344
00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:27.509
But sitting down and writing for a week or even
345
00:20:27.589 --> 00:20:29.990
a day is not easy.
346
00:20:30.630 --> 00:20:32.809
So there you go.
347
00:20:33.569 --> 00:20:33.890
Yeah. Yeah.
348
00:20:34.259 --> 00:20:39.930
And discipline is learning to lead yourself. And a lot
349
00:20:39.970 --> 00:20:45.390
of times you have to practice that. And you can
350
00:20:45.430 --> 00:20:51.809
spend your whole life waiting for the right feeling to
351
00:20:51.869 --> 00:20:57.859
show up before you do the right thing. And that
352
00:20:57.920 --> 00:21:04.049
can be a cycle of a problem. And You don't
353
00:21:04.130 --> 00:21:08.450
want to keep waiting and waiting and waiting because feelings
354
00:21:08.670 --> 00:21:15.329
are wonderful visitors, but they are terrible managers. And I
355
00:21:15.410 -->
00:21:18.869
think we have to keep that in perspective because your
356
00:21:18.930 --> 00:21:24.589
feelings might tell you, stay in the bed. Your purpose
357
00:21:25.150 --> 00:21:29.309
might tell you to get up and do something because
358
00:21:29.650 --> 00:21:33.309
action is is important. And I think we have to
359
00:21:33.390 --> 00:21:37.730
remember that. And your feelings might tell you to spend
360
00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:42.400
the money, but your financial goals will tell you and
361
00:21:42.440 --> 00:21:45.160
remind you that your rent is due and you want
362
00:21:45.180 --> 00:21:46.980
a roof over your head. Right, Dr.
363
00:21:47.019 --> 00:21:47.460
Marissa?
364
00:21:47.500 --> 00:21:49.059
Yeah, absolutely.
365
00:21:50.940 --> 00:21:54.640
There is one, you know, I'm always going to, you know,
366
00:21:57.259 --> 00:22:03.480
push the edge of Dr. Tiffany's envelope there is the newer.
367
00:22:03.200 --> 00:22:08.880
Thought that accomplishing things don't have to be that difficult.
368
00:22:09.359 --> 00:22:16.630
And that if we allow ourselves to use our feelings
369
00:22:17.910 --> 00:22:20.970
to motivate us to do something, that when we get
370
00:22:21.009 --> 00:22:24.680
the inspiration to do it, That's the time to do it.
371
00:22:24.759 --> 00:22:28.019
And if you're forcing yourself to do things that you
372
00:22:28.039 --> 00:22:30.700
don't feel like doing, that's counterproductive.
373
00:22:30.980 --> 00:22:32.759
That's pure law of attraction.
374
00:22:33.160 --> 00:22:34.000
Now, I'm.
375
00:22:36.779 --> 00:22:40.099
All about balance. So I think there's a little of both.
376
00:22:40.279 --> 00:22:47.779
I think that I'm rarely going to, let's just finish.
377
00:22:47.440 --> 00:22:50.509
This, something that I really don't want to do. So
378
00:22:50.660 --> 00:22:52.150
I'll reward myself.
379
00:22:53.039 --> 00:22:55.400
With things like, okay, we get to play Candy Crush
380
00:22:55.519 --> 00:22:59.019
if we finish this chapter, or we get to, you know,
381
00:22:59.039 --> 00:23:02.700
just get a manicure if we finish this whole section.
382
00:23:03.119 --> 00:23:06.779
So I, I have ways in which to mother, because
383
00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:10.579
if I just only did things that I love to do, um,
384
00:23:12.500 --> 00:23:13.640
we may not have the.
385
00:23:13.660 --> 00:23:17.240
Money to pay the rent or the mortgage, right?
386
00:23:17.589 --> 00:23:20.589
So, so there is a balance for sure. But I
387
00:23:20.670 --> 00:23:24.519
also think that it's a lesson for perfectionists. If you're
388
00:23:25.039 --> 00:23:27.920
only living in the.
389
00:23:28.319 --> 00:23:30.640
I gotta finish this. I gotta finish this. I gotta
390
00:23:30.660 --> 00:23:31.119
finish this.
391
00:23:31.960 --> 00:23:35.160
You're not real fun to be around, including with yourself.
392
00:23:35.579 --> 00:23:39.940
So there's got to be some way to balance out
393
00:23:40.220 --> 00:23:46.019
the need to be disciplined and motivated with, I get
394
00:23:46.079 --> 00:23:48.359
to enjoy what I just completed.
395
00:23:49.380 --> 00:23:49.569
Right.
396
00:23:49.609 --> 00:23:49.869
Dr.
397
00:23:49.900 --> 00:23:50.369
Tiffany.
398
00:23:51.029 --> 00:23:58.500
Uh, This is rare, people. I'm actually going to agree
399
00:23:58.519 --> 00:23:58.880
with Dr.
400
00:23:58.920 --> 00:23:59.180
Marissa.
401
00:23:59.240 --> 00:24:01.119
Stop the press.
402
00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:02.480
Yeah.
403
00:24:03.660 --> 00:24:06.269
I'm not even going to roll my eyes. Wait, wait.
404
00:24:06.289 --> 00:24:07.609
Put it down in the calendar.
405
00:24:09.910 --> 00:24:14.190
Mark this point. Beginning of November. November 4th. I'm going
406
00:24:14.210 --> 00:24:15.009
to agree with Dr.
407
00:24:15.029 --> 00:24:15.210
Marissa.
408
00:24:15.230 --> 00:24:15.349
Yeah.
409
00:24:18.210 --> 00:24:22.430
This is rare because there must be a balance because
410
00:24:22.789 --> 00:24:27.549
motivation can be internal or external, and it does move
411
00:24:27.670 --> 00:24:32.089
us toward our goal. And it might come from fear.
412
00:24:32.369 --> 00:24:38.180
It might come from inspiration or excitement. It could be
413
00:24:38.380 --> 00:24:41.680
when you break up with an ex. It could be
414
00:24:41.700 --> 00:24:46.630
because you lose a job. Whatever it is that spurs
415
00:24:47.029 --> 00:24:50.490
you towards your goal, but it is going to be
416
00:24:51.019 --> 00:24:57.160
your discipline that helps propel you to achieve it. And yes,
417
00:24:57.880 --> 00:25:01.180
I'm not advocating that you be a robot and that's
418
00:25:01.240 --> 00:25:03.910
all you do because you got to live. You know, remember,
419
00:25:04.269 --> 00:25:07.849
stress kills and we want you to live life to
420
00:25:07.990 --> 00:25:13.440
the fullest. I think that's important. You know, when you
421
00:25:14.059 --> 00:25:19.430
are doing your best. Now, there is nothing wrong with
422
00:25:19.589 --> 00:25:23.809
using that disappointment as your catalyst for growth. I think
423
00:25:23.849 --> 00:25:27.369
it's important to do what it is that you need
424
00:25:27.470 --> 00:25:32.480
to do to do you, boo. Make sure that you
425
00:25:32.579 --> 00:25:34.519
work it out. Right, Dr.
426
00:25:34.559 --> 00:25:34.819
Marissa?
427
00:25:34.839 --> 00:25:34.920
Yeah.
428
00:25:35.279 --> 00:25:36.539
Yeah, absolutely.
429
00:25:37.539 --> 00:25:40.720
This is sort of jumping to solution, which is second
430
00:25:40.759 --> 00:25:41.460
half of the show.
431
00:25:41.519 --> 00:25:44.240
But if I don't say it now, I'm going to forget.
432
00:25:44.400 --> 00:25:46.900
I just know it. One of the tools that.
433
00:25:46.839 --> 00:25:50.970
I use that's very helpful to keep me motivated is
434
00:25:51.069 --> 00:25:52.569
called 15.
435
00:25:51.950 --> 00:25:52.950
Minutes at a time.
436
00:25:53.500 --> 00:25:56.150
It sort of runs counter to the example that I
437
00:25:56.190 --> 00:25:59.029
gave you where I just clear out a week's worth
438
00:25:59.069 --> 00:26:02.410
of time because realistically I'm not going to do what
439
00:26:02.470 --> 00:26:04.279
I need to do for the entire week.
440
00:26:04.700 --> 00:26:06.720
So if I have a big project.
441
00:26:07.200 --> 00:26:10.200
If I say 15 minutes at a time, and we
442
00:26:10.220 --> 00:26:13.059
both have big projects, we actually have a bet against
443
00:26:13.119 --> 00:26:15.640
each other who's going to finish first as.
444
00:26:15.539 --> 00:26:17.400
A way of motivating ourselves.
445
00:26:17.769 --> 00:26:19.849
I don't know if it's working, but I have a
446
00:26:19.869 --> 00:26:23.049
screenplay to finish, and I have to say to myself,
447
00:26:23.450 --> 00:26:26.849
you know what? I don't have five hours today, but
448
00:26:26.910 --> 00:26:29.150
I have 15 minutes, and I can.
449
00:26:29.970 --> 00:26:32.630
Use those 15 minutes. And then usually what happens is
450
00:26:32.690 --> 00:26:33.549
the 15.
451
00:26:33.150 --> 00:26:37.420
Minutes turns into 30, because I'm now primed and I'm
452
00:26:37.480 --> 00:26:41.259
excited and I'm in the writing. So that's a tool
453
00:26:41.660 --> 00:26:47.240
that might be helpful for people who are perfectionists. And
454
00:26:47.259 --> 00:26:55.119
the road is perfectionism, procrastination, and paralysis. And if you
455
00:26:55.259 --> 00:26:58.859
understand that, you are a recovering perfectionist because that's what
456
00:26:58.900 --> 00:27:03.559
happens when you're not motivated. You go from I'm super
457
00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:08.859
motivated to maybe we can do this later. I've always
458
00:27:08.900 --> 00:27:11.900
wanted to be a procrastinator but never got around to it.
459
00:27:12.660 --> 00:27:12.880
Wait.
460
00:27:14.440 --> 00:27:14.740
Oh, wait.
461
00:27:14.779 --> 00:27:20.359
No, that's not the right one. There's another eye roll.
462
00:27:20.869 --> 00:27:23.230
And then paralysis, you don't do it at all.
463
00:27:23.369 --> 00:27:26.549
And you have that project sitting in your to-do list
464
00:27:26.670 --> 00:27:31.019
for 10 years. So in order to combat that 15
465
00:27:31.019 --> 00:27:31.700
minutes at.
466
00:27:31.599 --> 00:27:34.339
A time is the tool that I use.
467
00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:42.509
So I think when it comes to our competition, she's just,
468
00:27:42.549 --> 00:27:44.430
you know, taking advantage of the fact that I'm running
469
00:27:44.450 --> 00:27:48.309
for office people. Because, you know, we are very competitive people.
470
00:27:48.500 --> 00:27:50.029
But that's just my sidebar.
471
00:27:51.990 --> 00:27:54.490
Yeah, here we go.
472
00:27:55.490 --> 00:27:59.069
We use the competition to motivate us because I know
473
00:27:59.190 --> 00:28:02.970
it's very helpful because I've always got one eye on
474
00:28:03.089 --> 00:28:05.950
where she is so that, you know, I have to
475
00:28:05.990 --> 00:28:08.779
get to that finish line. And we both know we
476
00:28:08.819 --> 00:28:12.220
cannot lie about when it's finished.
477
00:28:12.319 --> 00:28:13.339
So there you go.
478
00:28:15.680 --> 00:28:19.779
But seriously, on a serious note, You know, motivation, like
479
00:28:19.799 --> 00:28:22.799
she was saying, motivation may inspire you to write the book,
480
00:28:23.299 --> 00:28:26.099
but it's going to be discipline that's going to help
481
00:28:26.140 --> 00:28:30.940
you get the job done. And motivation may inspire you
482
00:28:31.359 --> 00:28:33.789
to apply for a job, but it's going to be
483
00:28:33.920 --> 00:28:38.450
discipline that gets you to update your resume. And so
484
00:28:38.470 --> 00:28:41.549
they kind of go hand in hand. Yeah. And so
485
00:28:41.750 --> 00:28:44.490
when I said, which do you prefer? The answer should
486
00:28:44.509 --> 00:28:49.940
be both. Okay. Because they really do go hand in
487
00:28:50.000 --> 00:28:55.299
hand when you're looking at it. And so discipline helps
488
00:28:55.339 --> 00:29:03.990
you listen and communicate honestly, apologize, and all of these
489
00:29:04.089 --> 00:29:13.019
things when you're working towards your goals and things like that.
490
00:29:13.319 --> 00:29:20.789
Because motivation will start... the conversation. But discipline will really
491
00:29:20.910 --> 00:29:27.900
continue that conversation. And I think when we're looking at this,
492
00:29:27.920 --> 00:29:32.259
a lot of times people really see it adversely. God
493
00:29:32.279 --> 00:29:36.230
bless you. People really see it adversely. And I really
494
00:29:36.390 --> 00:29:39.910
wanted to have this show so that we could discuss
495
00:29:40.940 --> 00:29:44.000
it and make sure people start seeing it in a
496
00:29:44.160 --> 00:29:47.630
positive light and more accepting of it.
497
00:29:48.180 --> 00:29:49.779
Yeah, that's great.
498
00:29:50.119 --> 00:29:53.539
And I just had that breakthrough with the sneeze. Some
499
00:29:53.579 --> 00:29:55.480
people will do anything for a blessing, by the way.
500
00:29:55.940 --> 00:30:03.079
But motivation is the Feeling, right? You feel motivated or
501
00:30:03.119 --> 00:30:04.680
you have an idea.
502
00:30:04.779 --> 00:30:07.720
You're feeling something. You're inspired.
503
00:30:08.240 --> 00:30:13.670
And discipline or bliscipline is the action that comes from
504
00:30:13.990 --> 00:30:19.130
out of that feeling. So you've helped take that bad
505
00:30:19.230 --> 00:30:25.130
taste out of my mouth when you first announced the topic.
506
00:30:25.190 --> 00:30:27.960
So thank you for that. It's time.
507
00:30:28.329 --> 00:30:31.059
It's that time already, middle of the show. We need
508
00:30:31.079 --> 00:30:33.299
to take a quick break for news, weather, traffic, and
509
00:30:33.319 --> 00:30:34.519
a word from our sponsor.
510
00:30:34.880 --> 00:30:37.680
But don't go away. We'll be right back in two
511
00:30:37.759 --> 00:30:40.950
and two, as Chuck Weller used to say. Two minutes,
512
00:30:41.009 --> 00:30:44.529
it'll be less than that. It's peace in and peace out.
513
00:30:44.630 --> 00:30:46.890
Don't go away. We will be right back.
514
00:30:47.809 --> 00:30:48.559
We'll be right back.
515
00:31:05.619 --> 00:31:08.440
Well, she has been dubbed the Asian Oprah, and she
516
00:31:08.480 --> 00:31:09.839
just wants all of us to be happy.
517
00:31:17.490 --> 00:31:17.829
Dr.
518
00:31:17.890 --> 00:31:19.190
Marissa, a.k.a.
519
00:31:19.250 --> 00:31:22.269
The Asian Oprah, says the most important thing you can
520
00:31:22.329 --> 00:31:24.690
choose is choosing to be happy.
521
00:31:24.750 --> 00:31:28.349
You are tuned into my weekly talk radio TV show
522
00:31:28.390 --> 00:31:29.950
called Take My Advice.
523
00:31:30.009 --> 00:31:32.170
I'm not using it. Get balanced with Dr.
524
00:31:32.190 --> 00:31:32.450
Marissa.
525
00:31:44.339 --> 00:31:45.720
That's the idea for Dr.
526
00:31:45.740 --> 00:31:49.210
Marissa Paye's new book called Eight Ways to Be Happy.
527
00:31:49.549 --> 00:31:52.789
Many of us say, I am my own worst critic.
528
00:31:53.369 --> 00:31:56.099
Nobody's harder on me than I am.
529
00:31:56.619 --> 00:31:58.119
And my response to that.
530
00:31:58.000 --> 00:31:59.299
Is, stop it.
531
00:32:00.740 --> 00:32:03.890
Why are you doing that to yourself? You have to
532
00:32:03.950 --> 00:32:04.430
be your.
533
00:32:04.309 --> 00:32:06.769
Biggest fan because if you can't at the end of
534
00:32:06.809 --> 00:32:10.009
the day say, I did a good job, who is?
535
00:32:10.470 --> 00:32:13.160
We don't have to constantly be angry at the things
536
00:32:13.180 --> 00:32:15.700
that are wrong. Why don't we choose to be happy
537
00:32:16.019 --> 00:32:17.140
about things that are right?
538
00:32:17.460 --> 00:32:18.799
We have the choice.
539
00:32:19.119 --> 00:32:20.200
That's our muscle.
540
00:32:20.640 --> 00:32:24.390
And life is so amazing if we.
541
00:32:24.329 --> 00:32:25.170
Can see it.
542
00:32:31.160 --> 00:32:34.950
I'm Dr. Tiffany Tate, and this is home. The people
543
00:32:35.029 --> 00:32:39.210
of Senate District 32 deserve a leader who understands what
544
00:32:39.230 --> 00:32:41.730
it means to serve and not just talk about it.
545
00:32:42.470 --> 00:32:46.009
I'm a Navy veteran officer, an OBGYN who has delivered
546
00:32:46.170 --> 00:32:50.779
multiple babies, an author, a mother, and a community servant.
547
00:32:51.180 --> 00:32:54.279
My life has taken me from Compton to medical school.
548
00:32:54.859 --> 00:32:58.319
For years, I cared for families and patients, helping them
549
00:32:58.359 --> 00:33:01.690
through the most important moments of their lives. I never
550
00:33:01.869 --> 00:33:04.920
asked them what their political party was. I asked them
551
00:33:05.079 --> 00:33:08.339
what their problem was. Now I'm ready to bring that
552
00:33:08.519 --> 00:33:13.690
same commitment to Sacramento.
I'm not running to be another politician.
553
00:33:14.029 --> 00:33:16.519
I'm running to be a problem solver.
554
00:33:35.279 --> 00:33:37.839
Take back your life with Dr. Marissa Paye.
555
00:33:41.299 --> 00:33:44.160
And we're back. You're tuned in to Take My Advice.
556
00:33:44.789 --> 00:33:47.529
I'm not using it. Get balanced with Dr. Marissa, the
557
00:33:47.569 --> 00:33:48.250
morning show.
558
00:33:48.289 --> 00:33:48.890
You're on.
559
00:33:49.359 --> 00:33:53.059
KCAA, home to the Asian Oprah, number one talk in
560
00:33:53.079 --> 00:33:54.740
the IE. Thank you very much.
561
00:33:55.240 --> 00:34:03.650
NBC News Radio, AM 1050, FM 106.5N, streaming everywhere. iHeartRadio, Spotify,
562
00:34:03.670 --> 00:34:06.089
and of course my YouTube TV channel, where if you
563
00:34:06.109 --> 00:34:09.309
free subscribe and give me the finger, this one, not
564
00:34:09.349 --> 00:34:12.760
the other one, you will get an alert every weekday
565
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:15.539
morning to tune in to the show about hope and happiness.
566
00:34:16.889 --> 00:34:20.590
because life is way too short to be talking about
567
00:34:20.670 --> 00:34:24.030
the K-word Kardashians or listening to the headlines that give
568
00:34:24.070 --> 00:34:27.699
you a case of the four A's, angry, anxious, afraid,
569
00:34:28.039 --> 00:34:33.239
and aggravated. Instead, I have topics, gifts, and very special
570
00:34:33.340 --> 00:34:37.519
series to help you be happy 88% of the time.
571
00:34:37.559 --> 00:34:41.699
Today's no exception. You see in studio today my fabulous
572
00:34:41.739 --> 00:34:43.440
co-host of my.
573
00:34:43.380 --> 00:34:48.690
Special series on Wednesdays, doctors in the house with myself
574
00:34:48.710 --> 00:34:53.280
and dr tiffany tate and you saw all the things
575
00:34:53.320 --> 00:34:56.500
that she's been up to and uh nice i like
576
00:34:56.559 --> 00:34:59.460
it that was my first time seeing that and very
577
00:34:59.559 --> 00:35:08.309
i'm i'm great i'm gonna say because we do not
578
00:35:08.369 --> 00:35:11.710
talk about politics on this show but i do talk
579
00:35:11.769 --> 00:35:18.349
about my co-hosts So topic of the day today is.
580
00:35:19.730 --> 00:35:21.829
Motivation versus discipline.
581
00:35:24.800 --> 00:35:28.159
And we talked about the problem side of all of that.
582
00:35:28.219 --> 00:35:31.719
We started a little bit early with the solution because
583
00:35:32.380 --> 00:35:34.750
I have a great memory, but my recall sucks.
584
00:35:35.329 --> 00:35:38.650
But I'm sure Dr. Tiffany has more on what do
585
00:35:38.690 --> 00:35:40.650
we do when we don't.
586
00:35:40.429 --> 00:35:45.639
Feel motivated and we don't have the discipline and don't
587
00:35:45.780 --> 00:35:47.119
want the discipline.
588
00:35:47.139 --> 00:35:48.880
Because just like.
589
00:35:48.800 --> 00:35:51.900
I do in the morning, my bathing suit will say,
590
00:35:52.119 --> 00:35:55.360
let's go
do some laps in the pool. And then
591
00:35:55.440 --> 00:36:01.579
my sweatpants say, yeah, you're okay. Let's just watch another
592
00:36:01.780 --> 00:36:02.579
Love is Blind.
593
00:36:03.460 --> 00:36:08.929
Absolutely. Absolutely. And it's funny because a lot of times
594
00:36:10.590 --> 00:36:15.690
the principle is that you want to remember that motivation
595
00:36:15.909 --> 00:36:20.809
is the spark. But discipline is the practice. And we
596
00:36:20.849 --> 00:36:24.800
have to remember that a spark can start a fire.
597
00:36:25.760 --> 00:36:30.800
But fires can be need to be tended to because
598
00:36:30.820 --> 00:36:33.809
you can light a candle on Monday and and complain
599
00:36:33.929 --> 00:36:36.329
on Thursday that the room is dark because that candle
600
00:36:36.349 --> 00:36:39.679
went out. And so we want to keep that in mind.
601
00:36:40.199 --> 00:36:45.239
And so when you look at some more statistics that
602
00:36:45.260 --> 00:36:48.019
I wanted to talk about, in 2002 there was a
603
00:36:48.039 --> 00:36:51.780
study by a psychologist called Gail Matthews at the Dominican
604
00:36:51.860 --> 00:36:58.010
University of California, and they examined a goal achievement among
605
00:36:58.010 --> 00:37:04.050
267 participants. And the study found that participants who wrote
606
00:37:04.409 --> 00:37:09.719
down their goals and shared progress reports with another person
607
00:37:10.510 --> 00:37:15.039
tended to report greater goal achievements. So like you said, oh,
608
00:37:15.360 --> 00:37:17.260
you talk about it and you think about it and
609
00:37:17.280 --> 00:37:20.159
you don't do it. So if you wanted to actually
610
00:37:20.219 --> 00:37:24.860
get closer to achieving your success, write it down and
611
00:37:24.889 --> 00:37:29.210
tell somebody about it. That would help you increase your
612
00:37:29.349 --> 00:37:33.449
probability of of success. And so the lesson is that
613
00:37:33.489 --> 00:37:37.909
a goal becomes more useful when you move it out
614
00:37:37.969 --> 00:37:43.349
of your imagination and into a system of accountability. And
615
00:37:43.409 --> 00:37:46.179
so that's part of that process.
616
00:37:49.659 --> 00:37:50.659
I will say that.
617
00:37:52.380 --> 00:37:57.900
Be careful who you tell though, because there are people
618
00:37:58.039 --> 00:38:02.159
who are well-meaning and but sometimes more mean than well,
619
00:38:03.000 --> 00:38:06.800
who will tell you what they think of your idea
620
00:38:07.380 --> 00:38:12.949
and poo poo it and discourage you. So be careful
621
00:38:13.030 --> 00:38:16.429
who you are telling your goals to. Like I know
622
00:38:16.489 --> 00:38:19.989
if I told Dr. Tiffany, she would be like, yes,
623
00:38:20.190 --> 00:38:20.909
go for it.
624
00:38:20.989 --> 00:38:21.800
That's great.
625
00:38:22.010 --> 00:38:24.539
And that's why we have our competition program. because we
626
00:38:24.599 --> 00:38:27.360
know that those
are things that would make our lives
627
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:32.000
more fun, better, more lucrative, whatever it is, more helpful.
628
00:38:33.539 --> 00:38:37.059
But there are people in my life who I know
629
00:38:37.099 --> 00:38:39.579
better not to tell.
630
00:38:39.400 --> 00:38:42.260
Them because they'd be like, nobody's.
631
00:38:41.940 --> 00:38:43.500
Going to be able to do that, or you don't
632
00:38:43.519 --> 00:38:45.900
have the time to do that, or why do you
633
00:38:46.000 --> 00:38:48.079
want to do that, or blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
634
00:38:48.460 --> 00:38:50.019
So be careful who you pick.
635
00:38:50.940 --> 00:38:55.110
Absolutely. And the reality is, We know our people. We
636
00:38:55.150 --> 00:38:59.469
know our friends. We know our families. And we know
637
00:38:59.530 --> 00:39:01.699
the people who are supportive, or at least we think
638
00:39:01.739 --> 00:39:06.099
we do. And if you come across someone who is
639
00:39:06.260 --> 00:39:09.579
not supportive of you, sometimes you have to take it
640
00:39:09.659 --> 00:39:10.539
as a grain of salt.
641
00:39:11.079 --> 00:39:12.980
Kick them to the curb.
642
00:39:13.599 --> 00:39:16.840
No, you don't necessarily have to kick them to the curb. Remember,
643
00:39:16.889 --> 00:39:19.510
take my advice. I'm not using it. That's the eye roll, people.
644
00:39:20.039 --> 00:39:20.360
Dr.
645
00:39:20.400 --> 00:39:23.639
Marissa is like, cut them off. That's not my philosophy.
646
00:39:24.110 --> 00:39:27.070
I'm like, give them grace. Sometimes you have to feed
647
00:39:27.150 --> 00:39:29.190
them with a long handle spoon. You have to love
648
00:39:29.210 --> 00:39:32.639
them from afar. I know when I said I was
649
00:39:32.659 --> 00:39:37.380
going to become a doctor, I'm the first medical doctor
650
00:39:37.579 --> 00:39:40.519
in my family. I'm actually the only medical doctor in
651
00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:43.760
my family. And they looked at me like, really, you
652
00:39:43.780 --> 00:39:46.489
want to be a doctor? When I said I was
653
00:39:46.510 --> 00:39:47.670
going to write a book, they were like, really? Why
654
00:39:47.690 --> 00:39:49.610
do you want to write a book? When I said
655
00:39:49.630 --> 00:39:50.710
I was going to be on the radio, why do
656
00:39:50.750 --> 00:39:51.909
you want to be on the radio? When I said
657
00:39:51.929 --> 00:39:53.070
I was going to run for office, why do you
658
00:39:53.090 --> 00:39:56.480
want to do that? And so they support me now.
659
00:39:56.920 --> 00:39:59.800
But they questioned me. And so if you tell them
660
00:39:59.820 --> 00:40:01.449
you want to do something and they give you the
661
00:40:01.489 --> 00:40:03.030
side eye, like, why do you want to do that?
662
00:40:03.969 --> 00:40:05.670
When people want to put you in the box, break
663
00:40:05.690 --> 00:40:10.289
the box. And it's because they don't see that. Just
664
00:40:10.329 --> 00:40:12.809
because they don't see it doesn't mean that you don't
665
00:40:12.869 --> 00:40:15.429
have to see it. And it doesn't mean that you
666
00:40:15.469 --> 00:40:19.650
have to limit yourself. And if your friends don't like it,
667
00:40:19.650 --> 00:40:21.699
it doesn't mean you have to cut them off. Just
668
00:40:21.719 --> 00:40:24.280
get some new friends who do support you. That's the
669
00:40:24.340 --> 00:40:29.760
same thing. That doesn't mean you don't have to like
670
00:40:29.820 --> 00:40:32.460
the other friends. They can still be friends, but they
671
00:40:32.480 --> 00:40:33.099
can be friends from afar.
672
00:40:33.119 --> 00:40:34.000
I don't want to have time to have a lot
673
00:40:34.039 --> 00:40:37.079
of friends. I just want to have the friends that
674
00:40:37.199 --> 00:40:38.179
are good for me.
675
00:40:38.980 --> 00:40:41.900
I can't with Dr. Marissa Peep. I can't with her today.
676
00:40:42.239 --> 00:40:45.920
We're just going to pray for her. Bless her heart.
677
00:40:45.980 --> 00:40:47.619
Bless her heart. Bless her heart.
678
00:40:47.639 --> 00:40:50.489
Bless you. And the horse you rode in on.
679
00:40:50.510 --> 00:40:53.889
Oh, Lord, Lord, Lord. Then we're going to talk about
680
00:40:53.929 --> 00:40:57.719
some habits. There was a study about habits. Oh, Lord,
681
00:40:57.760 --> 00:40:59.639
help me, Jesus. Okay.
682
00:40:59.659 --> 00:41:01.199
We're going to have to talk to you about your
683
00:41:01.420 --> 00:41:02.539
eye-rolling habits.
684
00:41:03.800 --> 00:41:08.559
Yes, yes, yes. We all have habits, people. Okay, whatever
685
00:41:08.599 --> 00:41:10.099
helps me and deals with Dr.
686
00:41:10.119 --> 00:41:10.519
Marissa.
687
00:41:13.099 --> 00:41:19.409
Okay, so then there was a widely cited study in
688
00:41:19.409 --> 00:41:22.469
2009 by Philippa Lally and colleagues called And this was
689
00:41:22.530 --> 00:41:26.570
published in the European Journal of Social Psychology.
690
00:41:26.869 --> 00:41:28.309
Man, you did a lot of research.
691
00:41:28.929 --> 00:41:34.110
Yeah. And it followed 96 volunteers as they developed a
692
00:41:34.239 --> 00:41:39.119
daily behavior. And the researchers found that the time required
693
00:41:39.179 --> 00:41:44.019
for a behavior to approach its automaticity varied considerably. And
694
00:41:44.059 --> 00:41:50.070
the median was 66 days with substantial individual behavior growth.
695
00:41:50.429 --> 00:41:53.389
And so usually we would say, you know, the popular idea,
696
00:41:54.090 --> 00:41:57.329
every habit takes about 21 days. You know, that was
697
00:41:57.349 --> 00:42:04.969
the scientific rule. And so some habits become easier relatively quickly.
698
00:42:05.389 --> 00:42:08.550
And so others take a little bit longer. And so
699
00:42:08.639 --> 00:42:11.579
it really depends on your circumstance and what habit you're
700
00:42:11.599 --> 00:42:15.980
trying to develop. And so it really depends on the
701
00:42:16.000 -->
00:42:21.710
behavior itself and how consistent, remember, the C word consistent,
702
00:42:23.110 --> 00:42:26.719
you practice. And so really, depending on what it is,
703
00:42:26.780 --> 00:42:31.239
whether it's exercise, whether it's writing a book, and I
704
00:42:31.280 --> 00:42:33.739
think it's about your commitment and your consistency.
705
00:42:33.760 --> 00:42:34.760
Okay.
706
00:42:36.300 --> 00:42:38.760
Sold. I guess I'll give you that one.
707
00:42:40.219 --> 00:42:42.510
Then there's sleep. I thought this one was interesting.
708
00:42:42.760 --> 00:42:43.119
Okay.
709
00:42:44.309 --> 00:42:48.610
So the U.S. Centers for Disease Control... And prevention recommends
710
00:42:48.650 --> 00:42:53.610
that adults ages 18 to 60 get at least seven
711
00:42:53.630 --> 00:42:57.159
hours of sleep per night. Epic fail right here.
712
00:42:57.449 --> 00:42:58.820
Yeah, yeah, epic fail.
713
00:42:59.239 --> 00:43:04.400
Yeah, yeah, because sleep supports health, attention, and daily functioning.
714
00:43:04.960 --> 00:43:08.300
And so why does this matter in our conversations about discipline?
715
00:43:08.739 --> 00:43:13.889
Because sometimes we call ourselves lazy when we are exhausted
716
00:43:14.030 --> 00:43:16.670
and we don't get enough rest, people.
717
00:43:18.949 --> 00:43:19.409
I know.
718
00:43:19.429 --> 00:43:23.050
I knew I was going to have to like confess
719
00:43:23.090 --> 00:43:23.469
to this.
720
00:43:24.130 --> 00:43:27.360
And I just didn't want to because I have been
721
00:43:27.659 --> 00:43:32.099
so staunch and happy with the fact that I only
722
00:43:32.199 --> 00:43:33.260
need five.
723
00:43:33.019 --> 00:43:36.039
Hours of sleep. And that's why I get.
724
00:43:35.900 --> 00:43:39.369
A lot of stuff done, even though the doctors say blah, blah, blah.
725
00:43:39.769 --> 00:43:43.369
I honestly have for I'm.
726
00:43:43.349 --> 00:43:46.349
Ageless, so I'm not telling you how long. But many
727
00:43:46.409 --> 00:43:48.750
decades of five hours of sleep.
728
00:43:49.429 --> 00:43:55.489
And I don't know why everything this year has completely changed.
729
00:43:56.250 --> 00:43:59.730
I actually do need more than five hours of sleep.
730
00:44:00.050 --> 00:44:04.019
And it is, unfortunately, even more than six hours.
731
00:44:04.380 --> 00:44:08.820
I don't like being average, but I'm approaching the average
732
00:44:09.199 --> 00:44:13.719
seven hours. But I'm glad it's not eight. But it
733
00:44:13.840 --> 00:44:16.860
is true. I do much better when I get a
734
00:44:17.079 --> 00:44:19.179
full night's sleep that I'm not.
735
00:44:21.199 --> 00:44:22.739
Having to wake up with an alarm.
736
00:44:24.820 --> 00:44:27.780
Absolutely. And I know it is something that I am
737
00:44:28.000 --> 00:44:28.840
working on.
738
00:44:30.960 --> 00:44:34.639
But you take naps, which is a good thing. I
739
00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:37.800
haven't had that habit.
740
00:44:38.780 --> 00:44:41.639
I'll go try to take a nap and I'm like, oh,
741
00:44:41.659 --> 00:44:42.820
I have this idea and I'll start.
742
00:44:43.260 --> 00:44:47.199
You know, working on that. So that's a skill to
743
00:44:47.239 --> 00:44:48.139
be able to just.
744
00:44:48.260 --> 00:44:52.599
Sleep for 20 minutes. I'm intending to be able to
745
00:44:52.639 --> 00:44:53.340
master that.
746
00:44:53.989 --> 00:44:57.010
Well, I will say since campaigning, I haven't had a nap.
747
00:44:57.269 --> 00:44:59.090
I have not had a nap in a couple years.
748
00:44:59.869 --> 00:45:02.769
So when the campaign is over, I'm looking forward to
749
00:45:02.809 --> 00:45:05.190
taking a long.
750
00:45:05.489 --> 00:45:06.309
One week nap.
751
00:45:07.050 --> 00:45:07.489
Yeah.
752
00:45:10.630 --> 00:45:14.239
And so I'll be napping soon. It's coming to a
753
00:45:14.260 --> 00:45:17.699
close really soon. Probably at the end of the show,
754
00:45:19.099 --> 00:45:21.800
at the end of this week, you know, this is
755
00:45:21.840 --> 00:45:26.170
the final stretch. So, yeah. And so the issue is
756
00:45:26.230 --> 00:45:31.190
the problem with waiting to feel motivated is an issue.
757
00:45:31.690 --> 00:45:35.469
And so sometimes we say, well, when I feel better,
758
00:45:35.550 --> 00:45:39.599
I'll begin. And Sometimes we just can't wait. We have
759
00:45:39.719 --> 00:45:46.190
to motivate ourselves. And we don't have to be that.
760
00:45:46.349 --> 00:45:48.489
Sometimes you have to do. I remember I was once
761
00:45:48.570 --> 00:45:51.449
told when looking for the right path, walk there in
762
00:45:51.489 --> 00:45:52.239
and you will find it.
763
00:45:54.570 --> 00:45:57.480
If you're waiting for a sign, this is it. Quit
764
00:45:57.519 --> 00:45:58.599
waiting for the sign.
765
00:45:58.960 --> 00:45:59.260
Yeah.
766
00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:02.960
There was a cartoon of that. That's a good sign.
767
00:46:04.400 --> 00:46:04.599
Good.
768
00:46:05.059 --> 00:46:06.780
I love that. But it's true.
769
00:46:07.280 --> 00:46:13.659
I mean, sometimes you just have to do the gospel
770
00:46:13.699 --> 00:46:14.679
according to Nike.
771
00:46:15.579 --> 00:46:16.159
Just do it.
772
00:46:17.079 --> 00:46:21.119
Yeah. And kind of like what you said, your feelings
773
00:46:21.139 --> 00:46:25.639
will have a whole committee meeting about why you should
774
00:46:25.800 --> 00:46:30.320
do something. The chairperson says, I'm tired. And the vice
775
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:33.820
chair says, we can do it tomorrow. And then somebody
776
00:46:33.860 --> 00:46:34.619
in back says.
777
00:46:35.139 --> 00:46:37.550
We deserve a little treat first.
778
00:46:38.110 --> 00:46:42.130
And before you know it, the committee has ordered takeout,
779
00:46:42.530 --> 00:46:49.150
watched about three or four videos or movies or whatever,
780
00:46:49.630 --> 00:46:52.829
and you're comfortable, you're exhausted, you're back in the bed,
781
00:46:52.889 --> 00:46:54.989
you're asleep, and then you do the same thing again
782
00:46:55.010 --> 00:46:58.079
the next day. And you have to be careful because
783
00:46:58.099 --> 00:47:01.059
that becomes a cycle. I know that I have been
784
00:47:01.099 --> 00:47:04.309
guilty of that. After being exhausted, I finally get a
785
00:47:04.349 --> 00:47:07.070
day off and I'm like, okay, now on my day off,
786
00:47:07.409 --> 00:47:09.250
I'm going to do X, Y, and Z, X, Y,
787
00:47:09.289 --> 00:47:13.269
and Z, X, Y, and Z. And then I do
788
00:47:13.329 --> 00:47:14.250
laundry and I crash.
789
00:47:15.010 --> 00:47:21.500
Yeah. Now, here's a tool that is going to be
790
00:47:21.559 --> 00:47:23.699
surprising to some people.
791
00:47:23.480 --> 00:47:28.110
Who know me because I am an overachiever. I'm trying
792
00:47:28.130 --> 00:47:29.610
to be a recovering overachiever.
793
00:47:30.150 --> 00:47:35.090
I actually now take one full day off a month
794
00:47:35.590 --> 00:47:38.510
where I do nothing.
795
00:47:39.590 --> 00:47:42.219
That's hard to believe because.
796
00:47:41.940 --> 00:47:44.980
My middle, my motto from a lot of people who
797
00:47:45.019 --> 00:47:46.739
know me, they want to say it's Dr.
798
00:47:46.760 --> 00:47:53.190
Marissa. She's everywhere. If you follow my social. But it's true.
799
00:47:53.409 --> 00:47:57.539
For me now, I allow myself a full day once
800
00:47:57.619 --> 00:48:00.099
a month to do nothing.
801
00:48:00.699 --> 00:48:03.099
And I had a difficult time doing that.
802
00:48:03.739 --> 00:48:06.480
It probably took me like a year to be able
803
00:48:06.539 --> 00:48:10.230
to do a full day and not feel guilty about it.
804
00:48:10.360 --> 00:48:14.820
So if you're a perfectionist or an overachiever, you might
805
00:48:14.880 --> 00:48:18.989
want to take that challenge for one full day a month.
806
00:48:21.590 --> 00:48:25.889
And Let me also point something out. Be careful with
807
00:48:25.929 --> 00:48:31.130
being busy because sometimes being busy is very different than
808
00:48:31.170 --> 00:48:35.949
being productive. And you want to make sure you accomplish
809
00:48:36.530 --> 00:48:41.590
what you set out to accomplish. Some people look at, oh,
810
00:48:41.610 --> 00:48:43.000
I don't want to make a to-do list. I don't
811
00:48:43.019 --> 00:48:46.400
want to make a to-do list. To-do lists can help
812
00:48:46.440 --> 00:48:50.639
you accomplish your goals. So if you're being busy and
813
00:48:50.679 --> 00:48:54.400
you're not accomplishing your goals that you want to accomplish,
814
00:48:55.219 --> 00:48:58.639
sit back and reflect on the day and ask yourself,
815
00:48:59.940 --> 00:49:02.139
I did a whole lot today, but did I do
816
00:49:02.449 --> 00:49:06.090
what I actually wanted to do? I can't answer that
817
00:49:06.130 --> 00:49:10.090
question for you. And so these are just points to
818
00:49:10.150 --> 00:49:11.070
reflect upon.
819
00:49:11.389 --> 00:49:11.550
Yeah.
820
00:49:12.210 --> 00:49:16.440
It's a, you do this, you do that, you do this,
821
00:49:16.519 --> 00:49:18.869
you do that, and then you end up in doo doo.
822
00:49:21.159 --> 00:49:23.900
That's one of my favorites but I think that's a
823
00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:28.349
super important point because there's I was guilty of this
824
00:49:28.849 --> 00:49:33.150
where I can't sit still I gotta be doing something
825
00:49:33.570 --> 00:49:37.550
but then I'm not doing anything of quality or that's
826
00:49:37.630 --> 00:49:42.699
connected to to any kind of accomplishment. If you're so
827
00:49:42.760 --> 00:49:51.030
busy doing things to avoid having meaningful relationships with people,
828
00:49:52.289 --> 00:49:55.230
then you might want to look at your busy work.
829
00:49:55.530 --> 00:49:59.010
What is it that's actually accomplishing? Second point I wanted
830
00:49:59.050 --> 00:50:04.750
to make on this is, are you enjoying what you
831
00:50:04.989 --> 00:50:06.139
are accomplishing?
832
00:50:06.840 --> 00:50:09.719
Because many perfectionists.
833
00:50:09.159 --> 00:50:12.250
Will do, you've got a goal, you write the goal down,
834
00:50:12.550 --> 00:50:16.190
you make it 88% to the goal line. Are you
835
00:50:16.250 --> 00:50:21.949
focused on the 88% of what you've done and saying, yay, me,
836
00:50:22.570 --> 00:50:25.480
look at what I've done, or yay, you all helping,
837
00:50:25.900 --> 00:50:27.280
look at what our team has done?
838
00:50:27.739 --> 00:50:31.719
No, you're focused on that 12%. That's still not done.
839
00:50:31.820 --> 00:50:37.230
And that energy is anxious energy. And uncomfortable because you
840
00:50:37.269 --> 00:50:39.269
want to get to the end.
841
00:50:39.369 --> 00:50:41.730
And they tell me, my clients will say, I will
842
00:50:41.769 --> 00:50:44.030
celebrate when I get to 100%.
843
00:50:44.030 --> 00:50:47.550
But you don't. You hit the bell. You finished 100.
844
00:50:47.550 --> 00:50:48.809
You're on the next goal.
845
00:50:49.070 --> 00:50:54.320
You're all the way to 88% because you're goal-oriented. And then, again,
846
00:50:54.420 --> 00:50:57.760
this is your life. You're always in that 12%. And
847
00:50:57.800 --> 00:51:00.260
you wonder why you're not fun to be with.
848
00:51:00.980 --> 00:51:04.119
Including yourself. You don't even like being with yourself.
849
00:51:04.630 --> 00:51:09.429
So in that goal orientation, take a minute to actually
850
00:51:09.489 --> 00:51:15.579
turn and look and say, wow, that was pretty darn good.
851
00:51:16.079 --> 00:51:18.539
And if you can do that to yourself, the more
852
00:51:18.599 --> 00:51:20.380
likely you're going to be able to do it to
853
00:51:20.559 --> 00:51:22.699
all the people that are around you that helped you
854
00:51:22.719 --> 00:51:23.380
with that goal.
855
00:51:23.820 --> 00:51:25.139
That's good leadership.
856
00:51:26.340 --> 00:51:33.570
Absolutely. Because preparation matters and execution matters.
And discipline is important.
857
00:51:34.800 --> 00:51:42.809
But discipline without flexibility can become rigidity. I think it's
858
00:51:42.909 --> 00:51:50.969
important to recognize that and recognize how you execute that. Yeah.
859
00:51:50.989 --> 00:51:52.150
Don't execute people.
860
00:51:52.889 --> 00:51:53.219
Right.
861
00:51:54.800 --> 00:51:58.519
Right. And so some people are so determined to prove
862
00:51:58.880 --> 00:52:05.119
that they can keep going, that they refuse... To recognize
863
00:52:05.179 --> 00:52:10.780
that a strategy is required. And so that's what I
864
00:52:10.800 --> 00:52:14.239
was saying about, I was talking about making lists to
865
00:52:14.320 --> 00:52:18.099
make sure that you can do it in a stepwise fashion.
866
00:52:18.420 --> 00:52:26.590
Number one, without exhausting yourself. Number two, without becoming so angry,
867
00:52:27.449 --> 00:52:33.690
number one, at yourself and so mean to other people. Yeah.
868
00:52:34.889 --> 00:52:39.929
that is what can sometimes happen when you are frustrated.
869
00:52:40.170 --> 00:52:40.510
Right, Dr.
870
00:52:40.590 --> 00:52:41.030
Marissa?
871
00:52:41.230 --> 00:52:42.409
Yeah, absolutely.
872
00:52:42.829 --> 00:52:46.110
I think this is such an important thing that when
873
00:52:46.349 --> 00:52:52.510
we put to-do lists together that are not realistic. So
874
00:52:52.710 --> 00:52:57.320
if you're one person or even if you can't control
875
00:52:57.340 --> 00:53:00.659
a team, right, you can have expectations and hopes.
876
00:53:01.159 --> 00:53:05.010
So I don't do a to-do list thing. anymore.
877
00:53:05.239 --> 00:53:07.369
I know it's kind of extreme. I went from this
878
00:53:07.630 --> 00:53:10.829
hundred point to do list and I would get like
879
00:53:10.829 --> 00:53:14.309
80 done. But my managers that I was consulting with
880
00:53:14.989 --> 00:53:18.590
were so frustrated because they couldn't get half of it
881
00:53:18.630 --> 00:53:22.690
done because they kept getting interrupted. I keep getting interrupted.
882
00:53:22.710 --> 00:53:24.369
I keep getting interrupted.
883
00:53:24.429 --> 00:53:26.679
I can't get my work done. And I tell the manager,
884
00:53:27.239 --> 00:53:30.059
guess what, folks, that's part of your job.
885
00:53:30.570 --> 00:53:34.280
As a manager, interruptions, you got to schedule 30% of
886
00:53:34.320 --> 00:53:37.239
your time for interruptions because that's you as a problem
887
00:53:37.300 --> 00:53:39.840
solver in the managerial role.
888
00:53:40.300 --> 00:53:41.900
And that moment of.
889
00:53:41.840 --> 00:53:46.199
Aha was just so wonderful to see because all of
890
00:53:46.260 --> 00:53:49.380
a sudden it's like, oh, I wasn't counting that as
891
00:53:49.420 --> 00:53:51.800
something that is part of my job.
892
00:53:52.210 --> 00:53:53.530
And it is part of your job.
893
00:53:53.869 --> 00:53:56.090
So if you're being hard on yourself because you can't
894
00:53:56.150
--> 00:53:59.989
finish the list, my question is how realistic is that list?
895
00:54:00.070 --> 00:54:03.260
And are you putting down things that, you know, it
896
00:54:03.380 --> 00:54:05.840
is your job as a mom to sit with your
897
00:54:05.900 --> 00:54:09.480
kids and do their homework. And if you're so busy
898
00:54:09.659 --> 00:54:12.840
with too many things on your list, you're going to
899
00:54:12.880 --> 00:54:14.420
get irritated when they.
900
00:54:14.420 --> 00:54:15.980
Ask you for help for anything.
901
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:16.099
Right.
902
00:54:16.449 --> 00:54:19.110
That's not fair to them. That's not fair to you.
903
00:54:19.469 --> 00:54:21.750
So this is specifically for women.
904
00:54:22.050 --> 00:54:25.760
Remember that book, Women Who Do Too Much? One thing
905
00:54:25.780 --> 00:54:29.139
that women have not done well in our generation is
906
00:54:29.579 --> 00:54:33.880
balance the ability to, you want it all. You want
907
00:54:33.920 --> 00:54:36.139
to be the top dog at work and the top
908
00:54:36.159 --> 00:54:40.019
dog at home. You can't, you don't physically have that time.
909
00:54:40.400 --> 00:54:42.420
There has to be a balance and there has to
910
00:54:42.460 --> 00:54:45.519
be a balanced expectation for yourself.
911
00:54:45.599 --> 00:54:48.039
So that's my final word. Dr. Tiffany.
912
00:54:48.679 --> 00:54:51.329
My final word is I like a list, but I
913
00:54:51.369 --> 00:54:54.010
like adjustments to the list because I like to check
914
00:54:54.050 --> 00:54:56.309
things off. I like to make sure nothing falls through
915
00:54:56.349 --> 00:54:59.070
the crack. But I like to make adjustments. I like
916
00:54:59.090 --> 00:55:03.250
to be fluid. And I don't like to stress. But
917
00:55:03.309 --> 00:55:04.969
if it doesn't get done, let it roll over to
918
00:55:04.989 --> 00:55:10.269
the next day. It's okay. As a mom, I'm like, hey,
919
00:55:10.449 --> 00:55:14.139
let's just roll with it. but don't beat yourself up.
920
00:55:14.300 --> 00:55:15.820
I'm that type of person.
921
00:55:17.480 --> 00:55:20.019
I'll beat you up, not you.
922
00:55:20.380 --> 00:55:22.880
I'd like to see you try. That's my final eye
923
00:55:22.920 --> 00:55:28.110
roll for the day. I want to remind you, your
924
00:55:28.150 --> 00:55:31.489
feelings will not always agree with you, but go ahead
925
00:55:31.530 --> 00:55:34.670
and make your list. And whatever doesn't get done, don't
926
00:55:34.690 --> 00:55:37.030
beat yourself up. Let it roll over to the next
927
00:55:37.090 --> 00:55:41.050
day and the next day. And so it's okay if
928
00:55:41.090 --> 00:55:43.849
it doesn't get done. And you have to be okay
929
00:55:43.909 --> 00:55:46.670
with that and to say, okay, I know what needs
930
00:55:46.710 --> 00:55:49.489
to be done. I know it's still on my list
931
00:55:49.949 --> 00:55:52.429
and we can roll with it and we can learn
932
00:55:52.469 --> 00:55:54.900
to flow with it. But have the discipline to make
933
00:55:54.960 --> 00:55:59.119
sure you hold yourself accountable to get it done eventually.
934
00:55:59.139 --> 00:56:04.679
And be motivated, be disciplined, and I hope you enjoyed
935
00:56:04.719 --> 00:56:05.059
the show.
936
00:56:05.679 --> 00:56:06.139
Yeah, yeah.
937
00:56:06.539 --> 00:56:09.159
Thank you so much for joining us on Doctors in
938
00:56:09.199 --> 00:56:12.090
the House with myself and Dr.
939
00:56:12.210 --> 00:56:13.170
Tiffany Tate.
940
00:56:13.550 --> 00:56:15.550
As usual, it's been a lot of fun. It's all
941
00:56:15.590 --> 00:56:20.489
about balance. Peace in, peace out. World peace through inner peace.
942
00:56:20.630 --> 00:56:20.989
Dr.
943
00:56:21.030 --> 00:56:22.280
Tiffany, take us out.
944
00:56:23.079 --> 00:56:27.360
Now go and have the best day ever.
945
00:56:28.400 --> 00:56:29.199
I'll see you tomorrow.
946
00:56:41.409 --> 00:56:42.630
NBC News Radio.
947
00:56:42.710 --> 00:56:43.489
I'm Scott Carr.
948
00:56:43.550 --> 00:56:46.650
The Kennedy family's enter the legal fight over President Trump's
949
00:56:46.730 --> 00:56:50.530
proposed arch, asking a federal court in Washington, D.C., to
950
00:56:50.590 --> 00:56:53.730
stop the project. The filing urges the court to prevent
951
00:56:53.769 --> 00:56:57.289
the Trump administration from taking any steps to approve, authorize
952
00:56:57.329 --> 00:57:00.949
or build the arch unless Congress first authorizes the project,
953
00:57:01.230 --> 00:57:05.309
designates a sponsor and all statutory requirements are met. This
954
00:57:05.409 --> 00:57:09.699
after a federal judge temporarily blocked its construction. Republicans in
955
00:57:09.719 --> 00:57:12.500
the House of Representatives are voting to block the effort
956
00:57:12.539 --> 00:57:15.719
to impeach Secretary of War Pete Hegseth. By a vote
957
00:57:15.739 --> 00:57:19.860
of 211 to 204, the House approved a procedural motion
958
00:57:20.099 --> 00:57:24.179
that will refer Republican Congressman Thomas Massey's impeachment resolution to
959
00:57:24.219 --> 00:57:28.170
a committee, which effectively kills the resolution for now. This morning,
960
00:57:28.210 --> 00:57:32.130
Hegseth criticized the impeachment effort as being political spectacle, calling
961
00:57:32.170 --> 00:57:35.250
it a farce. A Coeur d'Alene, Idaho man has been
962
00:57:35.289 --> 00:57:39.289
sentenced to federal prison for planning ISIS-based attacks on churches
963
00:57:39.530 --> 00:57:42.139
in northern Idaho. Brad Ford has that.
964
00:57:42.159 --> 00:57:45.460
21-year-old Scott Mercurio was 17 years old when he created
965
00:57:45.519 --> 00:57:49.000
an online presence for pro-ISIS content. He planned to attack
966
00:57:49.059 --> 00:57:52.119
Coeur d'Alene churches using guns, a metal pipe, and a knife.
967
00:57:52.559 --> 00:57:55.480
He was communicating with a confidential source of the federal government.
968
00:57:55.800 --> 00:57:58.519
Mercurio was sentenced to 18 years in federal prison.
969
00:57:58.800 --> 00:58:01.929
Republican Congressman Jim Jordan of Ohio will be the new
970
00:58:01.969 --> 00:58:05.909
House Minority Leader. when the new Congress convenes in January. Today,
971
00:58:05.969 --> 00:58:09.449
House members elected Jordan over Louisiana's Steve Scalise as their
972
00:58:09.489 --> 00:58:12.110
new leader. Jordan thanked his colleagues for their trust and
973
00:58:12.150 --> 00:58:15.650
promised to keep any bad policies brought by Democrats in check.
974
00:58:15.949 --> 00:58:18.630
Over the next two years, House Republicans will fight for
975
00:58:18.650 --> 00:58:22.480
American families. When Democrats offer more government, we'll offer more freedom.
976
00:58:22.980 --> 00:58:25.800
And we will bring that fight in committee, on the floor,
977
00:58:26.360 --> 00:58:27.099
and on the stump.
978
00:58:27.559 --> 00:58:31.039
While in the Senate, Republican senators elected their current majority leader,
979
00:58:31.059 --> 00:58:33.110
John Thune, to stay on in the role but as
980
00:58:33.130 --> 00:58:37.130
the new minority leader. Scott Carr, NBC News Radio.
981
00:58:37.150 --> 00:58:43.909
Hi, I'm Catherine McPhee. Animals have always had my heart,
982
00:58:44.110 --> 00:58:46.369
and that is why I'm a proud supporter of American
983
00:58:46.409 --> 00:58:49.389
Humane Society. Over the years, I have filled my home
984
00:58:49.469 --> 00:58:50.300
with rescue pets.
985
00:58:50.739 --> 00:58:51.619
I adopted my.
986
00:58:51.599 --> 00:58:54.280
Sweet Wilma as a senior dog. Some of my most
987
00:58:54.340 --> 00:58:58.219
cherished memories are with her. American Humane Society has been
988
00:58:58.260 --> 00:59:03.360
protecting animals for 150 years. Your support can save lives.
989
00:59:03.760 --> 00:59:09.010
Join us in helping animals in need at AmericanHumane.org. And now,
990
00:59:09.070 --> 00:59:12.639
the voices of KCAA with an exciting announcement.
991
00:59:12.820 --> 00:59:16.699
Want to hear NBC News or KCAA anywhere you go? Well,
992
00:59:16.760 --> 00:59:17.860
now there's an app for that.
993
00:59:17.980 --> 00:59:21.989
KCAA is celebrating 25 years and our silver anniversary with
994
00:59:22.030 --> 00:59:22.969
a brand new app.
995
00:59:23.110 --> 00:59:27.110
The new KCAA app is now available on your smart device,
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cell phone, in your car or any place.
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Just search KCAA on Google Play or in the Apple Store.
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One touch and you can listen on your car radio,
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Bluetooth device, Android Auto, or Apple CarPlay.
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Catch the KCAA buzz in your earbuds or on the streets.
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Celebrating 25 years of talk, news, and excellence with our
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new KCAA app.
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Just do it and download it.
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KCAA.
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Celebrating 25 years.
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E-digits. Lock them in for more information, recreation, and guaranteed fun.
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KCAA.
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1050 AM. You're listening to the Tehebo Tea Club radio
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show hosted by Milan.