رونوشت کامل Who's Directing the Main Character?

00:05:10.240 --> 00:05:20.000 We have to analyze and process our information, our interactions with other people into pattern recognition and we sort those patterns. 00:05:20.240 --> 00:05:26.000 We do this by categorizing our interactions, labeling our interactions, and then filing them away. 00:05:26.160 --> 00:05:43.600 It's what happens in that example that I just gave about an ex watching your story or going to a party or celebration or some sort of social gathering and having an interaction with someone and walking away thinking, God, that person hated my guts. 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:44.560 They hated me. 00:05:44.720 --> 00:05:45.439 They were weird. 00:05:45.600 --> 00:05:47.600 They were kind of an awkward vibe with me. 00:05:47.680 --> 00:05:51.600 I don't know what the deal was, but I'm not cool with that person because they're not cool with me. 00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:57.519 And that same person walking away and being like, God, I did such a good job talking to people today. 00:05:57.759 --> 00:06:00.480 That was super anxiety provoking. 00:06:00.639 --> 00:06:02.240 But I showed up and like I did it. 00:06:02.319 --> 00:06:03.439 I'm so proud of myself. 00:06:03.600 --> 00:06:05.040 I think I made a new friend. 00:06:05.199 --> 00:06:11.839 All we can do as people living our own personalized experience of the world is fill in the gaps. 00:06:12.000 --> 00:06:29.680 And so I think that there is certainly power in maintaining or representing being in this main character narrative in a way that isn't being tied to or generated by someone else's narrative or the way the algorithm works in rewards. 00:06:29.920 --> 00:06:37.759 This writer seems to seek to humble all of us, humble each other, in saying, girl, relax. 00:06:37.920 --> 00:06:39.279 No one's worried about you. 00:06:39.600 --> 00:06:44.560 And I think that the most important person that could be worried about you is you. 00:06:44.879 --> 00:06:47.920 It's the same concept of like romanticizing your life. 00:06:48.079 --> 00:06:59.360 You can add a little bit more whimsy in it if you hum a lullaby while you pour your coffee, or you make your breakfast a little more aesthetic than it usually is. 00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:10.879 If you do things that are more pleasing to the eye, and instead of reading at home in your dark room, you go outside and read in a park or go to the beach or whatever. 00:07:11.120 --> 00:07:16.000 So there's power in romanticizing your life and highlighting the mundane. 00:07:16.160 --> 00:07:28.319 You sort of, the practice sort of brings out this level of gratitude and appreciation when you are taking the time to slow down and find the beauty in the little things. 00:07:28.480 --> 00:07:36.639 And I think that applies with cosplaying or pretending to be the main character too, and just doing it until it isn't a task. 00:07:36.800 --> 00:07:48.720 It is the baseline of how you show up in a room, how you treat yourself, how you speak about yourself, all comes back and is rooted in being the lead actor or actress of your life, of your story. 00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:57.839 And I also think that right now, for me specifically, I 100% think I am the main character of my own life. 00:07:58.079 --> 00:08:05.279 I told my roommate the other day that I've been a little more depressed than usual and have been feeling kind of blah. 00:08:05.600 --> 00:08:07.439 And she was like, What does that mean? 00:08:07.519 --> 00:08:08.240 Are you okay? 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:14.560 And I needed to let her know that I don't usually have suicidal ideation or anything like that. 00:08:14.720 --> 00:08:23.360 Um, and I said, Unfortunately, I also suffer from really high self-esteem and think that I'm the best thing since sliced bread. 00:08:23.600 --> 00:08:28.240 But I don't always feel like doing the things that I typically find joy or pleasure in. 00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:36.960 And that's when I'm like, okay, I need to tinker with my medication or I need to touch grass or I need to, you know, get into my bag and address my depression. 00:08:37.200 --> 00:08:44.480 So my baseline has been practicing being the main character to have that level of confidence within myself. 00:08:44.720 --> 00:09:03.360 On the flip side, as someone who is trying to show up on this podcast and show up on social media and put myself out there, there is freedom in being the main character of my social media platforms and not having to worry about the narrative somebody else is creating about me in their head because my following is so small. 00:09:03.519 --> 00:09:05.519 My engagement is teeny tiny. 00:09:05.840 --> 00:09:08.399 It's a teeny teeny tiny little bit of engagement. 00:09:08.559 --> 00:09:11.840 And so I'm still so one, unknown. 00:09:12.080 --> 00:09:17.600 And two, I suspect that when I am known, most people are not gonna care anyways. 00:09:17.840 --> 00:09:25.200 Think about the people that you follow on social media and think about the people that you consider yourself a quote unquote fan of. 00:09:25.360 --> 00:09:31.919 How many of the people that you just thought of or named are you waking up and thinking about on a day-to-day basis? 00:09:32.159 --> 00:09:38.080 How many of those people are you thinking, oh, I wonder when so-and-so had to lunch, had for lunch today? 00:09:38.320 --> 00:09:42.000 Or I wonder if so-and-so had a great doctor's appointment. 00:09:42.159 --> 00:09:43.840 She mentioned it in her last story. 00:09:44.080 --> 00:09:46.960 Like, even if you care, you don't care that much. 00:09:47.120 --> 00:09:56.559 And there's freedom in knowing that no matter what, no one's gonna care as much about me and what I do, like as much as I do. 00:09:56.639 --> 00:09:57.679 What a relief. 00:09:57.919 --> 00:10:06.159 It can kind of make you go a little cuckoo nuts bananas, constantly wondering what everyone else is wondering or thinking about you. 00:10:06.399 --> 00:10:07.600 Let that shit go. 00:10:07.759 -->

00:10:08.960 And people don't care. 00:10:09.120 --> 00:10:19.120 Have fun, live your life, be the main character, and just be mindful that the danger comes from when your main character energy is dependent on other people. 00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:39.440 Or as long as you are so much the main character of your own story that we shift away from knowing our neighbors and engaging with our own community and helping our fellow human, that we turn into such an individualistic society where it's as long as I get mine, everybody else will be damned. 00:10:39.600 --> 00:10:42.480 That's when we start really losing the plot. 00:10:42.720 --> 00:10:50.559 The way that I've seen this show up most recently is at my friend's bachelorette party and wedding this year. 00:10:50.879 --> 00:10:57.039 She is a social media marketing manager for a film studio production company. 00:10:57.200 --> 00:11:01.360 And so she does content in social media all the time, all year. 00:11:01.440 --> 00:11:02.639 That's her full-time job. 00:11:02.799 --> 00:11:05.600 But she also genuinely enjoys it. 00:11:05.759 --> 00:11:08.480 And so she makes content all the time. 00:11:08.720 --> 00:11:24.799 And at her bachelorette, at her wedding, there were so many people that are in her inner circle that whether they're also in the industry, also work in some sort of visual medium marketing, et cetera, there was that side of things. 00:11:24.960 --> 00:11:43.679 But there were also so many people that did not work in those fields that were taking quick B-roll on their cameras for her to be able to use on TikTok later and were using the like DJI Osmo or using a disposable camera to capture a photo, even though somebody already got it on their phone. 00:11:43.919 --> 00:11:58.080 Like the amount of people that got her vision and knew what would be helpful and knew what would be exciting for her to have captured and wanted to support that was so impressive. 00:11:58.320 --> 00:12:02.159 I mean, she would say, Hey guys, I want to do this content idea. 00:12:02.480 --> 00:12:10.480 And without hesitation, so many people were like grabbing the extra cameras, gathering people, being like, What's the idea? 00:12:10.720 --> 00:12:11.600 Do you need a ring? 00:12:11.759 --> 00:12:12.960 Like, do you need this? 00:12:13.120 --> 00:12:14.240 Do you want me to hold this? 00:12:14.399 --> 00:12:15.440 What if I did this? 00:12:15.600 --> 00:12:21.840 And it just became this immediate like collaboration of making sure that she got the content that she wanted slash needed. 00:12:22.000 --> 00:12:24.399 And the same thing happened at her wedding. 00:12:24.720 --> 00:12:26.000 I was drinking. 00:12:26.159 --> 00:12:33.519 So maybe I remember it a little bit differently than other guests do, but we would be on the dance floor having a good time. 00:12:33.759 --> 00:12:46.399 And it was almost as though the bride would see the videographer, see the photographer, and something in her would click and it would click for everybody that knew her around her. 00:12:46.559 --> 00:12:57.600 And we would all just kind of move and meld into the right places to make a visually pleasing, visually aesthetic moment around the bride. 00:12:57.759 --> 00:13:09.919 I don't know if it was intentional or if people, if she just had the best wedding guest list, or if the people that she has picked up along the way just knew, like just know, but it was impressive. 00:13:10.080 --> 00:13:14.879 I left leaving that wedding, being like one, probably the best wedding I've ever been to. 00:13:15.039 --> 00:13:28.960 And two, there's gonna be so much good content that comes out of that wedding because everyone was so on it and prepared and knew where to go to fill the holes to make the moment interest worthy. 00:13:29.200 --> 00:13:35.440 Now, you could argue that because it was her wedding and her bachelorette, of course, she's automatically the main character. 00:13:35.600 --> 00:13:44.720 But I don't want to give that too much power because she is not a like magnetic cult leader. 00:13:44.960 --> 00:13:57.759 She is just a main character who cares about her neighbor, who has developed a community that shows up as fiercely for her as she has shown that she will show up for us. 00:13:57.919 --> 00:14:09.679 I can't say that her self-confidence or how she thinks about herself or how she talks to herself is unmarred or doesn't have bad days because I'm not in her head. 00:14:09.840 --> 00:14:12.720 I'm just doing what I've already said humans do. 00:14:12.879 --> 00:14:15.200 I've observed and now I'm filling in the gaps. 00:14:15.519 --> 00:14:18.559 I certainly hope that she knows she's a main character. 00:14:18.799 --> 00:14:30.879 So I guess in general, for this example, it when you practice main character energy-ness in a good way, you sort of find your community, you find your people, and those people care. 00:14:31.039 --> 00:14:32.799 Like that's on having good friends. 00:14:32.960 --> 00:14:38.000 Those people care, but the general public, the general population, don't give a damn. 00:14:38.159 --> 00:14:39.759 And that should be a freeing feeling. 00:14:39.840 --> 00:14:47.120 That should allow you to show up as the main character for good versus the main character for evil. 00:14:47.360 --> 00:14:53.759 The best example I have of this is I worked at Macy's, worked at Macy's cosmetics when I was in college. 00:14:54.000 --> 00:15:09.279 And we had this diva of a manager that was always like floating around and asking people if they opened a Macy's rewards card or asking us what our sales were looking like, if we'd sold anything for today. 00:15:09.600 --> 00:15:17.360 And every time he came up to me for almost two years, he would say either hey Abby or hey superstar. 00:15:17.519 --> 00:15:20.559 He called everybody superstar as a way to not learn anyone's names. 00:15:20.720 --> 00:15:24.159 But he would sometimes say, um, Abby, have you done this?

00:15:24.320 --> 00:15:25.679 Now, maybe you don't know. 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:26.879 My name is not Abby. 00:15:26.960 --> 00:15:28.240 I think Abby's a beautiful name. 00:15:28.320 --> 00:15:29.440 It's just not my beautiful name. 00:15:29.519 --> 00:15:31.039 My name is Gabby with a gh. 00:15:31.360 --> 00:15:42.559 And he was not saying Gabby, which to me, it didn't give him the air or aura of importance he thought he deserved and that he carried himself with. 00:15:42.720 --> 00:15:45.679 It made him look like an uncaring asshole. 00:15:45.919 --> 00:15:52.000 And his lack of mutual respect made me not interested in doing my job. 00:15:52.240 --> 00:15:54.240 It made me lower my effort. 00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:57.679 Both had that main character energy on the surface. 00:15:58.000 --> 00:16:07.519 And one person has a support system that will show up and help her create and do fun things to celebrate her. 00:16:07.759 --> 00:16:09.759 And the other is why I quit my job. 00:16:09.919 --> 00:16:11.840 Just kidding, he doesn't have that much power. 00:16:12.080 --> 00:16:14.080 But the other couldn't learn my name. 00:16:14.159 --> 00:16:19.120 And that obviously didn't make me want to listen to his instruction to support him, to show up for him. 00:16:19.279 --> 00:16:19.600 Nothing. 00:16:19.759 --> 00:16:27.759 It didn't want, it didn't inspire me to want to do things to help him get ahead, help push our department forward, if that makes sense. 00:16:28.000 --> 00:16:39.039 I think I'm making this episode and continuing to show up to make content because at the end of the day, we are all looking for community and to find belonging. 00:16:39.200 --> 00:16:40.799 I've mentioned it in another episode. 00:16:40.879 --> 00:16:47.120 We're all trying to reach the self-actualization of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. 00:16:47.279 --> 00:16:48.879 That's the tippy top. 00:16:49.039 --> 00:17:14.799 And I think that for me, being the main character of my life and prioritizing being the main character of my life and my life alone, it's allowed me to have the confidence to take up space and being able to take up space and be confident in who I am and be confident in showing up as my full self is what I am learning and am hopeful is going to lead me to my community. 00:17:14.960 --> 00:17:38.559 Being the main character of your own life takes away the risk of conforming to societal standards or conforming and trying to become what some other community that's not for you prefers, or your sense of self as a whole, relying on the belonging of a community that you otherwise wouldn't vibe with and wouldn't fit with. 00:17:38.720 --> 00:17:54.079 I think it's important to be the main character and take a shot every time I say main character, but to be the main character of your life specifically and not treat other people like you're the main character of their lives. 00:17:54.319 --> 00:18:02.960 In addition to being mindful of who you make the main character of your story, you can't let it become anyone but you. 00:18:03.200 --> 00:18:11.680 I think this episode is for anyone that's nervous to get started making content or to get started putting yourself out there. 00:18:11.920 --> 00:18:17.039 I think knowing that no one cares that much is honestly kind of helpful. 00:18:17.200 --> 00:18:28.160 Once you start like flexing that muscle and you get more comfortable putting yourself out there, then the people who do care will start to show up and will start to like gravitate towards you. 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:46.880 So if you've ever thought about creating in some way, whether it's, you know, creating art, writing music, singing, dancing, whatever your creative expression looks like, it's super helpful for me to know that in the beginning, nobody cares. 00:18:46.960 --> 00:18:48.720 So you can do whatever you want in the beginning. 00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:51.680 I mean, just remember that the internet is forever. 00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:54.559 In the and sorry, that's probably not helpful. 00:18:54.720 --> 00:19:08.400 Just remember that the internet is forever in the sense that don't be putting problematic shit out in the world thinking nobody's eyes are on me right now, so I can get away with it, because that usually will come back to bite you in the ass. 00:19:08.559 --> 00:19:10.640 That's what I mean by the internet is forever. 00:19:10.880 --> 00:19:22.079 You can put your poorly edited vlogs out and just get into the practice of vlogging your life, and that'd be perfectly fun. 00:19:22.400 --> 00:19:24.559 And it'd be fine that it live on the internet forever. 00:19:24.640 --> 00:19:26.160 Everyone has to start somewhere. 00:19:26.640 --> 00:19:45.119 This episode is also because I've been seeing so much conversation around everyday people like myself having to go and mute some of their favorite creators because they are celebrating a purchase of a brand new home. 00:19:45.359 --> 00:19:53.279 Or I saw a lot of comments about um this whole situation with Kelly Clarkson and this mechanical bird at a magic shop. 00:19:53.599 --> 00:19:57.440 And people saying, hey, this is a terrible situation. 00:19:57.599 --> 00:20:00.319 I'm super sad she got treated that way. 00:20:00.640 --> 00:20:08.160 But I can't hear any more conversation about a$15,000 toy when I'm struggling to put gas in my car and head to work. 00:20:08.400 --> 00:20:19.519 Like a lot of that conversation of people being like, oh, I want to be so happy for you, but I can't watch another creator open up free PR as a multimillionaire. 00:20:19.680 --> 00:20:40.240 And while I haven't had to or had the desire to mute anybody for their wealth or their fortune, I'm definitely in a place where I'm needing to clean up my my algorithm to get me away from the how to finish 2026 strong, how to have the ultimate glow up before the end of Q4. 00:20:40.640 --> 00:20:43.200 Like all of the how to conversations. 00:20:43.680 --> 00:20:52.079 I think

that that is the label and what we have been taught or conditioned by social media to believe is main character energy. 00:20:52.400 --> 00:20:58.960 And I think the real main characters are honest and self-aware enough to know nobody knows what's happening. 00:20:59.119 --> 00:21:00.319 Nobody knows what's going on. 00:21:00.559 --> 00:21:11.680 And I think we have put on a pedestal a main character that has behind the scenes quietly and privately thrown things at the wall. 00:21:11.920 --> 00:21:24.559 And then when something happens to stick, because statistically something eventually had to stick, it's repackaged to us as the key to life, the key to success, the key to whatever. 00:21:24.720 --> 00:21:33.920 And I just wish that more people were their true and fullest flawed in process selves on the internet. 00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:37.440 Like those are the main characters that I want to see more of. 00:21:37.759 --> 00:21:50.960 So this is for the people that also feel like they're tired of that content and this cookie cutter, rah, rah, beautiful, overly aesthetic visual that's being peddled in all of our algorithms. 00:21:51.200 --> 00:21:58.240 And this is also for the main characters who got a little caught up in the sauce. 00:21:58.640 --> 00:21:59.759 Like in a real movie. 00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:08.720 The only person that the lead actor, the main character, needs approval or has to take direction from is the director. 00:22:08.880 --> 00:22:15.119 And whoever you name as the director is who you are seeking attention and approval from. 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:29.200 And so if you are someone who started off showing up on this platform, showing up creating and being like, this is me and this is how I want to share and express myself and represent myself to the world. 00:22:29.440 --> 00:22:47.920 And then eventually you started having to conform or chase the high of the next viral clip or do the trend that was most popular, even though it didn't fit or vibe or mesh with what you wanted to say or who you are or how you show up in your real life. 00:22:48.160 --> 00:22:55.759 If you started becoming a bit beholden to the algorithm and to the audience, that's your director right now. 00:22:56.319 --> 00:23:01.200 And so just noticing that and deciding is that how you want to move? 00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:10.480 I think I'm encouraging you to notice who you have appointed as the director of your feature film, which is your life. 00:23:10.720 --> 00:23:20.880 What is the list of criteria you personally, within your heart, have to uphold, have to live up to to be the main character of your life? 00:23:21.039 --> 00:23:27.359 If it is a list of vanity achievements that make you the main character, cool. 00:23:27.519 --> 00:23:29.759 I think you should definitely include some of those. 00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:47.039 And also, I think noticing a bit more specifically of who you are and how you want to show up and be represented in the world at a core deep personal level, like what characteristics are showing up in your day-to-day life? 00:23:47.119 --> 00:23:48.799 How do you speak to people? 00:23:49.119 --> 00:23:51.359 How do you spend your time? 00:23:51.519 --> 00:23:59.039 How do you fellowship, like, et cetera, and not just I got a fat ass and long hair and a cute smile? 00:23:59.200 --> 00:24:00.880 Like a little bit deeper than that. 00:24:01.119 --> 00:24:04.000 And in doing that, what are the flip side? 00:24:04.079 --> 00:24:24.960 What are the areas in which you have given away either all of your power by making society or someone else, the algorithm, your director, or where you've just given away little pieces where you've shown up as a little more palatable, or where you show up as a little more knowledgeable in an area than you actually are, et cetera. 00:24:25.119 --> 00:24:33.200 And then the most important piece is is your power is the power that comes from being the main character, is that confidence? 00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:38.319 I'm using confidence and power pretty interchangeably in this episode, I think. 00:24:38.640 --> 00:24:41.519 So is your power dependent on other people? 00:24:41.759 --> 00:24:46.240 When I say or when I keep asking, is your power dependent on other people? 00:24:46.720 --> 00:24:58.960 I think I'm experiencing this in a twofold as well as a person in life who has a social life who exists outside of what you see on social media and what I talk about on this podcast. 00:24:59.279 --> 00:25:12.960 On the one hand, I as a creator, as a content creator, as someone with the again, with a podcast posting on social media, I say that I don't care, that my power is not reliant on other people. 00:25:13.519 --> 00:25:26.720 And I still, every morning, before my feet touch the ground, check my analytics on Substack, YouTube, my personal TikTok and Instagram, and my podcast TikTok and Instagram. 00:25:26.880 --> 00:25:34.880 And to some degree, that is, I would say maybe four to five percent of me being like, okay, what are people saying? 00:25:35.119 --> 00:25:37.119 Hope they liked what I worked really hard on. 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:40.960 I hope my me putting myself out there is being well received. 00:25:41.200 --> 00:25:53.839 The rest of that is predominantly me working three jobs and waking up and being like, ooh, did I maybe go viral tonight and I can stop working three jobs? 00:25:54.079 --> 00:26:08.799 So there's a little bit of a catch-22 there of I'm not necessarily going and seeking external validation and giving that director seat to a following to an algorithm, to the likes, the comments, the shares, the saves. 00:26:09.200 --> 00:26:16.400 And it is such a motivator in my life right now that that's something I have to be mindful of and be careful, careful of. 00:26:16.640 --> 00:26:25.680 It's the same idea of if you're on like a weight loss or a fitness journey, you're always told like, don't weigh every day. 00:26:25.920 -->

00:26:35.200 Weigh in once a week, same time, same place, wearing the same thing instead of checking in every single day, because then you'll become addicted or beholden to the scale. 00:26:35.359 --> 00:26:36.079 Same concept. 00:26:36.240 --> 00:26:38.640 So I'm very mindful of that piece happening. 00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:50.960 And also the main character energy is the essence, the underlying vibe of how I pep talk myself before I go into most rooms and I do most things. 00:26:51.119 --> 00:26:54.480 Like it is still that practice makes perfect energy. 00:26:54.640 --> 00:27:04.799 If I'm going to a social gathering, the last thing I say to myself before I get out of the car is you're the main character, you're a baddie, people are gonna love you. 00:27:05.119 --> 00:27:09.279 Show that energy and make sure that you talk to people as well. 00:27:09.759 --> 00:27:15.359 Because believe it or not, she may have the gift of gap, but she can shut down and stop talking. 00:27:15.519 --> 00:27:18.880 I do have to put myself out there and hype myself up in that way. 00:27:19.039 --> 00:27:29.759 And it is also the reminder that I bring up when I tell myself that I am not intelligent based off of who's in the room. 00:27:30.000 --> 00:27:31.599 I just am intelligent. 00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:36.640 And I'm not beautiful based off of who I'm standing beside. 00:27:36.880 --> 00:27:44.160 I'm not more beautiful or less beautiful because someone is standing to my left and someone beautiful is standing to my right. 00:27:44.400 --> 00:27:45.920 I just am beautiful. 00:27:46.160 --> 00:27:51.519 It is not pendant on anything other than how I view and see myself. 00:27:51.680 --> 00:28:11.440 And I think it's that reminder that allows me to show up and try, show up and make the effort, show up and do my best to invite people into a space where they can find safety and belonging just for being themselves as well. 00:28:11.680 --> 00:28:13.440 The main characters that they are. 00:28:13.599 --> 00:28:21.920 I think being the true main character means that you, me, everybody is truly in a league of their own. 00:28:22.160 --> 00:28:26.400 Not better than your league, not worse than your league, but equal. 00:28:26.559 --> 00:28:47.440 And when it doesn't demand power over others, when it's not that magnetic cult leader, when it allows us and encourages us to know our neighbors and know our community and be a loving and caring safe space, it's the best kind of main character, self-centered, self-absorbedness. 00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:52.880 It's like that expression that um a high tide raises all boats. 00:28:53.200 --> 00:29:03.359 The basis of my main character energy is knowing that I am better because the people around me are better. 00:29:03.599 --> 00:29:17.200 We are better together as equals and working towards the common good with love and care for each other in our hearts, and not because I'm placed on a pedestal because I have a million followers on a social media platform. 00:29:17.359 --> 00:29:24.480 I definitely think that per this article that started this conversation, that social media is not the main culprit. 00:29:24.640 --> 00:29:44.400 I think it just helped us coin a cute little term for our self-obsession and our innate selfishness as humans and made it a little bit harder to determine who has that power, who is in control of giving us the confidence to live our lives out loud and proudly. 00:29:44.640 --> 00:29:52.799 I want to try something new this last segment, where I am adding a little listener question segment here at the end. 00:29:52.960 --> 00:30:03.039 I'm going to leave you with a question, and it's one that you can ponder out loud in your car if you're driving, or send me a message with your response, comment, whatever. 00:30:03.200 --> 00:30:04.720 But I want to leave you with this question. 00:30:05.039 --> 00:30:08.400 It comes with a tiny little bit of tiny little bitty story time. 00:30:08.559 --> 00:30:19.839 And very briefly, um, a group of my friends were talking about cats and how they make biscuits by like pushing down, basically like kneading a blanket. 00:30:20.160 --> 00:30:23.599 And I said, Oh, I do that when I go to bed. 00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:25.599 I make biscuits with my feet. 00:30:25.759 --> 00:30:31.039 And my friend said, Oh, you mean like you like a cricket, like you rub your feet together? 00:30:31.279 --> 00:30:37.440 And I said, No, I I like push my feet into the mattress. 00:30:37.680 --> 00:30:39.519 And she was like, How do you do that? 00:30:39.680 --> 00:30:44.160 And I kind of tried to demonstrate with my hands, but my hands are not my feet. 00:30:44.400 --> 00:30:55.599 And so every night since this exchange happens, the last thought in my head before I drift off into dreamland is dead ass. 00:30:56.079 --> 00:31:02.880 She probably thinks I'm crazy because I'm realizing now cricket is cricketing is exactly what I do in my bed. 00:31:03.039 --> 00:31:06.480 My feet are more rubbing together than they are into the mattress. 00:31:06.640 --> 00:31:07.759 What was I talking about? 00:31:07.839 --> 00:31:12.559 It's the last thought that leaves my head every single night before bed. 00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:30.960 And so my question for you is what exchange between you and someone else have you replayed so often and have become a little hyperfixated on it that another person, the other party has probably forgotten. 00:31:31.119 --> 00:31:35.759 And is that hyperfixation keeping you as the director of your life? 00:31:35.920 --> 00:31:38.400 Or is it handing your power over to someone else? 00:31:38.559 --> 00:31:49.519 I think with this example for me, I am deciding that I'm not giving away my power in this specific scenario only because I'm not losing sleep. 00:31:50.319 --> 00:31:54.559 It is just the thought that enters my mind before I drift off. 00:31:54.799 --> 00:32:00.400 So I'm not, it's not impacting my ability to live my life or how I see myself. 00:32:00.640 --> 00:32:03.359 I just am always thinking before bed. 00:32:03.519 --> 00:32:05.200 I wonder if she remembers I said that. 00:32:05.279 --> 00:32:13.839 And I wonder if it keeps her up at night thinking about something that I said, which is crazy because we've already determined that people don't really give a shit like that. 00:32:14.000 --> 00:32:15.519 She's not thinking about this at all. 00:32:15.680 --> 00:32:25.119 So I'm gonna say I don't think that I'm giving her my power or making her the director, but she definitely has some credits somewhere. 00:32:25.359 --> 00:32:30.079 When the credits roll, her name is definitely popping up on the end title cards there. 00:32:30.319 --> 00:32:34.480 Lucky for me, it's only you and me listening to these episodes. 00:32:34.720 --> 00:32:51.039 So I am having the pleasure and getting the opportunity to set this boundary and this standard for myself and continue to create this intimate space where we can just be us and not be so worried about what the world thinks. 00:32:51.279 --> 00:32:58.160 It is truly, truly a relief to know that I can be myself here and that you're here with me. 00:32:58.400 --> 00:33:02.000 So thanks so much for listening, and I'll catch you for next week's episode. 00:33:02.319 --> 00:33:02.960 Bye.