رونوشت کامل FEELING THINGS - Let Your Feelings Ride Shotgun, Not Drive

looked stunning. 00:05:56 Speaker 3: And yeah, now I'm kind of in love. And Nicole Kidman brings her own blanket to the movie theater. 00:06:01 Speaker 2: And she snuck in her own snacks. 00:06:04 Speaker 3: She snuck in. 00:06:06 Speaker 2: Hey, sorry, Nick. I know, Nick. 00:06:08 Speaker 3: You don't want to out her taking her own snacks. 00:06:12 Speaker 2: To the movie theater. Which that probably helps, you know, like she comes in. And also when she was leaving, she was like saying goodbye and thank you to everyone. 00:06:20 Speaker 3: Well, you leaned over and you go, I'm sorry we took your seats. 00:06:24 Speaker 2: And she was like, don't worry about it. This is great. 00:06:26 Speaker 3: And then she was like, call me. 00:06:28 Speaker 2: She's like, here's my number. I'm like, got it. 00:06:32 Speaker 3: Yeah, that part didn't happen. But that's your feeling of the day is you're feeling grateful for that. For that encounter. 00:06:38 Speaker 2: Well, we were laughing. I mean, I'm not a total weirdo with famous people. But what was unique about it was when she sat down and we saw Social Reckoning, which is an Aaron Sorkin movie. And Aaron Sorkin's pretty prolific. And I had this realization. I'm like, this is like watching a basketball game if I was seated next to Michael Jordan. I mean, really. Yeah. It wasn't like I just saw Nicole Kidman at the store. That wouldn't be a thing. But we sat next to each other and watched a movie of which she is probably the greatest actress of our generation. I mean, she's one of them. Up there, you have Meryl Streep. That's a different generation, right? 00:07:26 Speaker 3: Yeah, she's older than Nick. 00:07:29 Speaker 2: Yeah, no. 00:07:30 Speaker 3: Definitely up there. 00:07:31 Speaker 2: I also, when we're walking out, her movie theater, or her movie's still in the movie theater. The witch movie was in the theater across from her and Sandra Bullock. 00:07:41 Speaker 3: Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. The one that we're doing here. 00:07:44 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm like, I'm here with the witch. 00:07:49 Speaker 3: We were walking out right behind her. 00:07:51 Speaker 2: So anyways, that was, I enjoyed it. I enjoyed it because you could tell that she enjoyed the movie and I enjoyed watching and hearing her like what parts. 00:08:03 Speaker 3: Where she oohed and aahed. 00:08:04 Speaker 2: Yeah, like she was like, Into it. Like, oh. She'd giggle a lot. 00:08:11 Speaker 3: Lots of laughs. 00:08:12 Speaker 2: And then she'd talk in her very Australian accent. 00:08:16 Speaker 3: So thank you for. 00:08:17 Speaker 2: Yeah, she also talks during the movies. Feels like total permission now that if I want to talk to someone in the movies, I'm going to be like, I'm going to talk because Nicole Kidman does. And she makes the movies. She is the movies. All right. I'm wrapping it up. That's my feeling grateful for the day. 00:08:37 Speaker 3: Thank you for tapping into a feeling that you didn't think was even real to begin

with. 00:08:43 Speaker 2: I feel grateful for a lot of things, but Nicole Kidman. 00:08:46 Speaker 3: I know that you have gratitude. And I actually was shocked when you said, well, feelings aren't real. 00:08:56 Speaker 2: You're right. What did you say to me in response? 00:08:59 Speaker 3: Feelings aren't facts. Feelings are information. 00:09:03 Speaker 2: I guess that's what I meant. They're not facts. 00:09:06 Speaker 3: Right. Because they are absolutely real. They're giving you data. 00:09:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, they're guiding. No, that's fair. 00:09:13 Speaker 3: Well, actually, your feelings shouldn't totally guide. This is a good way to picture it. You are in the driver's seat and your feelings can ride shotguns. For information. 00:09:26 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:09:27 Speaker 3: But it's when the feelings start driving, you know, when you make decisions when you're emotional. 00:09:32 Speaker 2: Yeah. Like when I get angry and I let myself continue to be angry, I'm letting it drive. Is that what you're saying? 00:09:37 Speaker 3: Right. Or in that anger, you try to make a decision. 00:09:40 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:09:41 Speaker 3: Or have a conversation that you might regret. That's when things get out of hand is when the feelings get in the driver's seat. 00:09:51 Speaker 2: That's, yeah. I feel like Jared told me that in some way. Jared's my therapist. I finally did therapy for. the first time probably four or five years ago and he's become like my favorite. 00:10:07 Speaker 3: Person but yeah not to be confused with Jared from Subway because Chase also definitely not Subway call me but $ 5 foot long. Chase has often said, you know what? Subway didn't really replace Jared after his scandal. 00:10:25 Speaker 2: Yeah. I could totally be the rebound guy there too. 00:10:29 Speaker 3: And Chase is obsessed with Subway. 00:10:32 Speaker 2: Cat's not available. Feeling things puts me on. Jared's not available. Subway puts me on. Right. I'm cool being the B team. Mm-hmm. 00:10:40 Speaker 3: I used to get Subway a lot, but I haven't lately. Since you're such a Subway fanatic, what's your go-to order? 00:10:47 Speaker 2: Go-to order is the turkey on wheat with the white cheese. What's the white cheese? 00:10:54 Speaker 3: Provolone? 00:10:56 Speaker 2: I just say the white cheese. And then jalapenos, onions, lettuce, spinach, and mayonnaise. 00:11:05 Speaker 3: Okay, nice. Speaking of mayonnaise and sandwiches, have you ever had a white bread banana and mayonnaise sandwich? It's on my list. 00:11:12 Speaker 2: Of things to try. White bread, banana, and mayonnaise? Hard no. Is it good? 00:11:20 Speaker 3: Well, I don't know. I saw it going viral on Instagram, and it made me want to try it because I love a white bread mayonnaise and potato chip sandwich, and then I know that adding a banana to the mix is a little bit different, but I love that combo. And then mayonnaise, fun little trick my dad taught me, is if you ever make a grilled cheese,

some people butter the bread and then put it on the pan for the grilled cheese. Instead of butter, use mayonnaise. And it'll make the outside of your grilled cheese so perfect. 00:12:01 Speaker 2: That sounds good. 00:12:02 Speaker 3: No, it's so good. And I was just curious if you've ever tried the banana mayo one. Because I love mayo. 00:12:09 Speaker 2: Yeah, I do too. 00:12:10 Speaker 3: I know it sounds a little weird with the banana, but I like a savory sweet combo situation. It has to be Duke's mayo for me though. Oh, no way. Hellman's all day long. What? Yes. 00:12:20 Speaker 2: You don't like, what? 00:12:21 Speaker 3: Well, I'm not saying I don't like Duke's, but I'm just a Hellman's girl through and through. 00:12:26 Speaker 2: Duke's my boy. 00:12:27 Speaker 3: I think it's just where you were raised. Don't you think? Was Duke's? really popular in Kansas. 00:12:33 Speaker 2: I guess so. Okay. Was it the lock house, the block ranch. 00:12:39 Speaker 3: That's Chase's family. 00:12:40 Speaker 2: Yeah. Where we also keep our shoes on. 00:12:44 Speaker 3: Oh gosh. Chase is also complaining because I have, but I've dabbled with being a no shoe household for several years now and it just hasn't stuck and I'm doing it again. And this time it's sticking. Like it's, I leave shoes outside to send the message, and I feel like people are like, oh, what are all these shoes out here? I'm like, oh, we're a no-shoe household. Because I don't want to put a sign up, but leaving a bunch of shoes out on the porch helps. 00:13:15 Speaker 2: I didn't pick up on that. She had to kind of just be like, oh, yeah, by the way, we're going to be a no-shoe household. 00:13:21 Speaker 3: I also have these blue little– elastic slipper things you can throw over your shoes, you know, like workers will put on if they're coming into your home. I ordered, yeah, I ordered some on Amazon and I have them out on the porch. So if you ever don't want to take your shoes off, I do have an option for you to slide those disposable booties on. 00:13:42 Speaker 2: Well, I do feel like jokes on you because my shoes are off and my socks are disgusting. Like, look at those. They're gross. You can't see them, but they're up on the coffee table right now. They're covered in my buddy's dog. He has a lab. I just see a lot of dog hair, but it's cool. We're a no-shoe household. 00:14:03 Speaker 3: Socks are great. But the bottom, like at the movies, you went into the bathroom. So you're not bringing the movie theater bathroom into my house. You're bringing, you know, other things. 00:14:15 Speaker 2: No, but I did walk into your driveway yesterday in my socks because I didn't want to take time to put my shoes on and then take them back off again. So I tracked in. 00:14:23 Speaker 3: So then you came in. 00:14:24 Speaker 1: I mean. 00:14:25 Speaker 2: And those are the same socks from yesterday. Okay. 00:14:30 Speaker 3: Well, I need to give you... Or show you where the disposable booties are. 00:14:36 Speaker 2: Oh, yeah. Please show me where the booties are. 00:14:38 Speaker 3: Because you need those. And I do think the more you... I do think the more you think about it... I don't want to say think twice, but I really... would like for you to spend time thinking about the bottom of your shoes and how it makes sense to take them off. We just culturally, it depends on what parts of where you grow up in the world, but there are some cultures they think we're absolutely bonkers for wearing shoes in our house. 00:15:11 Speaker 2: Yeah. No, I totally respect it. But I also just want to go ahead and say, as a kid, who has thought about it probably more than most kids, considering we tracked in a lot of things from the ranch. 00:15:25 Speaker 3: Like manure? 00:15:26 Speaker 2: Yeah. And my mom was always like, you know, like, we know it's fine. Okay. So, I mean, like, it doesn't bother me. I think everything's kind of dirty. 00:15:37 Speaker 3: I know. And I have a dog and a cat. And, like, my cat will go get in her litter box and then come get on me. And I'm like, hey, I love you. 00:15:45 Speaker 2: Like, I do think about it a little bit more in, like, New York. Especially like if you take the subway and you're like, okay, let's maybe kick off the shoes. Like that's a rough. 00:15:56 Speaker 3: But the Nashville movie theater bathroom is fine. 00:15:58 Speaker 2: It's good enough for Nicole Kidman. It's good enough for me. 00:16:04 Speaker 3: I didn't see her use the restroom. 00:16:06 Speaker 2: Well. 00:16:08 Speaker 3: But I did get a picture of her when she was leaving. Not to do anything with it. I wasn't. 00:16:12 Speaker 2: You're just trying to confirm. 00:16:13 Speaker 3: I just needed the evidence of that is definitely. 00:16:17 Speaker 2: Yeah. Because you didn't see her. 00:16:19 Speaker 3: I've done an event with her and she was amazing, but it was years ago. I remember the watch event. Yes, the Omega watches, which she does endorsements or is an ambassador or something for them. And so we did a Q & A for press at Soho House and I moderated it. And then that night there was a big event. So I hung out with her twice, but also there were so many other people around, and then so much time passed, and she does so many things. And I know she knows the show, and if she saw Bobby, she would recognize him and be like, oh, Bobby, you know, because of Keith. 00:17:02 Speaker 2: Was that your Australian accent? 00:17:03 Speaker 3: Yeah. Well, and Bobby's been to their house, well, when they were together. Yeah. So I know if I were to say something to her, there would be too much setup of like, oh, I'm Amy. I work with Bobby. And we did that Omega event together a few years ago. And I. 00:17:17 Speaker 2: I was trying to block you. 00:17:20 Speaker 3: I wouldn't have done that. 00:17:21 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:17:22 Speaker 3: What do you mean you were trying to block me? 00:17:24 Speaker 2: Well, I didn't want her to think we were

together. I wanted her to... I wanted to appear single. 00:17:30 Speaker 3: So when I kind of turned in my chair because I got cold and I was like, oh, hey, Chase. 00:17:34 Speaker 2: I don't know who this is. Yeah. Yeah, I'm here by myself. 00:17:40 Speaker 3: I don't know who this girl is. Okay, cool. 00:17:43 Speaker 2: Thanks. 00:17:43 Speaker 3: That makes sense. You were acting a little weird. If I ever have to give that much setup to someone, I'm going to just be like, yeah, in my mind, I'm like, that was fun that time that we worked together, but there's no way they'll remember me. 00:17:56 Speaker 2: Meanwhile, I go up and like remind everyone. I'm like, oh yeah, we met here. 00:18:01 Speaker 3: Yeah, you're good at that. 00:18:02 Speaker 2: I just like people. I do too. And I like when people remind me where we met them. Because sometimes I forget and I'm like, oh yeah, that was a great night. 00:18:11 Speaker 3: Well, I would want someone to do, like if, I mean, the level is very different because this is like Nicole Kidman. She's worldwide. 00:18:19 Speaker 2: She's the movie. 00:18:20 Speaker 3: Famous, yes. But I will say, just because I wouldn't do that to her, if there was a listener that saw us somewhere and that had maybe met me a few years ago, but I might not off the bat, out of the gate, recognize them to your point yes that would be awesome if they came up and said oh hey you know yeah I was at this or any I know anyone I'm saying if you've met them before. 00:18:46 Speaker 2: No for sure it's weird like when I went up for. 00:18:49 Speaker 3: Me but it wouldn't be weird if someone came up to me so that's the. 00:18:53 Speaker 2: I did that to Tucker the other night at an event we were at Tucker Wetmore yeah went up and I was like hey you don't remember this but I met you here and I was just telling him how awesome I think it's been to watch him Rise. Yeah. He's a good kid. 00:19:07 Speaker 3: Yeah, he was sitting right next to us. And we made eye contact a couple of times. So then I said, I'm Amy from The Bobby Bone Show. And he was like, oh, yeah, I was looking at you wondering. I knew you looked familiar. He's like, are you still with him? I was like, yep. 00:19:20 Speaker 2: But you... I don't know that you want to talk about this, but you actually... The other day, you were talking about sometimes you feel... Did you say embarrassed? We were talking about parking, looking for parking. Do you remember this? 00:19:33 Speaker 3: Yes. 00:19:33 Speaker 2: If I am. 00:19:35 Speaker 3: Driving around looking for a parking spot or I'm lost in a building or a parking garage, I'm embarrassed. And I don't know why because nobody's nobody's looking at me. Nobody's paying attention to me. They don't care, but I won't, if I'm like, Oh, you know, where's this doctor's office? Like it's supposed to be the third door on the left. And this doesn't look right. I get so embarrassed that I don't know where I'm going. 00:20:01 Speaker 2: I wonder what that is. 00:20:02 Speaker 3: I don't know. Yeah. Cause I can think it's just me wanting to be confident in where I'm going. And, I feel like people were looking at me like, well, she's some idiot that doesn't know where she's going. 00:20:13 Speaker 2: This is when you guys were missing Kat because the therapist is out and Chase is filling in. But I was like, yeah, that seems you shouldn't be embarrassed to like not know where to park in the parking garage. Yeah. You know? 00:20:28 Speaker 3: And those are an embarrassing moments. Like an embarrassing moment would be I was working out at a gym and a guy came up to me and said, you don't know where you know me from, do you? And I said, no. You do look familiar, but no. And he goes, we matched on Hinge, and then you ghosted me. And I was like, well, I didn't mean to. I think I just got off Hinge. At the time. So I just disappeared. And he remembered. And then I was in a workout class. And he said it took him a minute to figure it out. He's like, gosh, she looks familiar. She looks familiar. And he was like, oh, yeah. We were chatting on Hinge. And then I disappeared. And I'm glad he came up and said something to me. But see, something like that is embarrassing. And it actually makes sense that you would be embarrassed. Not like driving around. Looking for a parking spot or, you know, going the wrong way down a street, not knowing where you are, like that sort of stuff. I think I just get more flustered and it feels embarrassing. 00:21:49 Speaker 2: But, you know, the good thing about that is that that is not fact. Right. That you feel embarrassed. 00:21:56 Speaker 3: Exactly. It's just a feeling. And I don't need to let it drive me. I need to stop and say, excuse me, do you know where this doctor's office is? For sure. Is this the third door? Oh, it's on the right, not the left. And then the problem solved. When I was giving you directions in the car, did you notice when I was like, hey, go up here and take a left? And I was like, oh, I mean a right. Do you know I constantly get my lefts and rights wrong? 00:22:22 Speaker 2: I didn't know that, actually. 00:22:24 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's part of my dyslexic stuff, but it's embarrassing. It's embarrassing. 00:22:30 Speaker 2: Well, don't be embarrassed. 00:22:32 Speaker 3: You didn't notice it. I didn't notice it. 00:22:34 Speaker 2: Because I had GPS telling me where to go. 00:22:36 Speaker 3: No, but you were going to Starbucks. That's not true. You didn't have GPS plugged in and I was guiding you and I said, Oh, you're turn up here. 00:22:44 Speaker 2: You sometimes when we're communicating, like you're a good multitasker, but for me, like, I can't tell if you're really listening to me or not. Like, Because you'll be like doing something, you'll be like, oh yeah, turn left. And I'll be like, I'm not listening to that because she's not paying attention. But then you are. So I guess that's kind of a compliment. 00:23:05 Speaker 3: Except

for it might be that you need to turn right because I'm just mixing up my lefts and my rights. But I am able to still guide you. Which Chase is someone that drinks coffee at 5 o'clock. 00:23:17 Speaker 2: Yeah. Well, yeah. 5 p.m. Yeah, I have a later evening dinner. And so I like to be in bed like tucked away night-night time at like 9, 9.30. So this is going to be a late night for me. 00:23:36 Speaker 3: So you're drinking coffee to get like a little amped up. 00:23:39 Speaker 2: But also I would just generally drink it later. But then I found out that there might be mold in my coffee. And so, you know. 00:23:47 Speaker 3: It's in everything. 00:23:49 Speaker 2: But see, I didn't know that. But you wanted to offer me. The coffee you make, which is like warm water and dirt. 00:23:58 Speaker 1: No. 00:23:58 Speaker 2: And I was like, hard pass. 00:24:00 Speaker 3: It has coffee in it, but it also has mushrooms and like adaptogens, lion's mane. 00:24:06 Speaker 2: Do you want to know my perfect cup of coffee? You probably don't, but I'm going to just tell you anyways. 00:24:11 Speaker 3: I would love to know your perfect cup. 00:24:12 Speaker 2: It is a pot and it is like two scoops too much of Folgers, like a lot of grinds. And you let it run. And then you let it like slow simmer and kind of like bake for like 90 minutes. Where, you know, like it feels like it's kind of been like. 90 minutes? Yeah, like you want it, like you want, I miss all these gas stations now. I love gas station coffee. Until they started doing the fresh grinds, like the beans and the. I used to love when it's like that pot of coffee had been like slow burning for like eight hours. Had a little bit of that tar flavor. 00:24:52 Speaker 3: Oh i don't know i have to i haven't had gas station coffee since college probably. 00:24:57 Speaker 2: Not breaking news here no one is surprised but i. 00:25:03 Speaker 3: Did love it at the time and i would or like i'd get the pre-mixed hot frappuccino or maybe i don't know if frappuccino ever hot or just the cold ones at starbucks i have what were those called Okay, so it wasn't a Frappuccino, but a pre-mixed, like out of the machine at the gas station, and it would be like vanilla, chocolate, like all this flavor with coffee. 00:25:28 Speaker 2: Do you get your Diet Coke out of a fountain? Do you go to a gas station for a Diet Coke? 00:25:33 Speaker 3: Oh, Chase and I were ranking Diet Cokes the other day, and we were like, can is superior. You love a can that's been marinating in the fridge for three days, then a fountain Diet Coke is superior. up there as well. But a bottle Diet Coke, they need to figure that out because this is not good. 00:25:48 Speaker 2: Yeah, you know it matters where you get your cans and where you get your drinks. 00:25:53 Speaker 3: I didn't know that. 00:25:54 Speaker 2: So there's preferred customers which get the freshest batch. So like the syrup. So like when it comes to like McDonald's, Quick Trip, those entities, they have the best fountain. And Walmart has the freshest canned Coca-Cola because they're the number one distributor. 00:26:12 Speaker 3: Oh, okay. So they have priority. 00:26:14 Speaker 2: Yeah, I'm just saying. Like if you go to some random gas, or not gas station, but like, and please go to the mom and pop shops, obviously, but like smaller grocery stores, typically they get like the later batch. Yeah, it's not bad, but it's just like it's, there's a freshness. Like if something comes out, and also Walmart turns over a lot of product. 00:26:37 Speaker 3: Oh, I had no idea. Yeah. 00:26:38 Speaker 2: Okay. 00:26:39 Speaker 3: Now you know. Listen, the more you know. 00:26:41 Speaker 2: The more you know. I'm going to be here one more week, guys. What else do you want to know? 00:26:46 Speaker 3: Hey, bring us another fun fact like that next week. 00:26:49 Speaker 2: I got fun facts all day long. 00:26:52 Speaker 3: Yeah, so Chase is improving his mood for the rest of the evening with his 5 p.m. black coffee from Starbucks, which you were telling me that my mood seems improved. 00:27:05 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, you've been in a good mood. But I would just say. 00:27:13 Speaker 3: I don't even mean, let's not say mood. My overall. 00:27:16 Speaker 2: You're in a good, you're back. 00:27:18 Speaker 3: My place, my energy. She's back. Which Chase walked through some pretty dark years with me. 00:27:25 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:27:27 Speaker 3: For sure. And I think I came out of that a couple of years ago. But it takes a minute. And then I, of course, started working on my hormones earlier this year. And then I was still feeling a little bit low because my doctor was saying between the iron infusions that I was going to get to help bring my iron levels back up and then my testosterone and my vitamin D that I was going to feel like a million bucks. And I did start to feel better. I really did. But I wouldn't have called it a million bucks. 00:28:01 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:28:02 Speaker 3: I still felt like something was off. And I said, can I come back in for more blood work? Because something's not right. 00:28:10 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:28:11 Speaker 3: And sure enough, my thyroid had dipped. And three weeks ago, she put me on a thyroid medication, NP 60 milligrams. It's I think the lowest you can do because it wasn't that low, but low enough to where it was impacting me. And she said, take this. It's going to need a couple of weeks to kick in. And I think that I've hit that just past a couple of weeks, Mark, two to three weeks. And I feel better. 00:28:43 Speaker 2: That's a fact. 00:28:44 Speaker 3: I don't know. Again, I'm not going to sit here and define it as a million bucks, but it's sort of one of these things that just sort of I'm noticing like, oh, I'm doing more. I'm peopling more. 00:28:56 Speaker 2: You're lighter. 00:28:57 Speaker 3: I guess to you, who you've spent, again, over a decade with me, something about my energy feels lighter,

but I'm also... You know when you're just making... plans with more people and doing more and you don't overthink it and it just feels good. Whereas I previously would have just thought I have space for like one person or one activity and then I need to go home and recharge and rest and I'm so tired. And not that I don't feel tired from life at times, but who knew a little thyroid pill was going to maybe be the final piece to the puzzle to feel lighter. 00:29:38 Speaker 2: Well, I think that's... I don't know enough about that, but that would be like encouragement for anyone who's feeling some things that needs maybe to explore that. 00:29:47 Speaker 3: Well, it might not be thyroid, but it could just be getting your blood work done to get the information so you can see what's lacking. 00:29:53 Speaker 2: Because it makes a big difference. But I genuinely, and I think I told you this the other night, but this is the first time I've been back and felt like old Amy is back. 00:30:08 Speaker 3: Like 2013, Amy? 00:30:10 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:30:11 Speaker 3: Because that also, too, is before my mom died. 00:30:13 Speaker 2: Yeah. There was a season, obviously, when you just had a lot of things happening. And I remember a conversation. And it was actually, I called Kat Nafada because she was your therapist. I think, or somehow I knew. She probably wouldn't. 00:30:29 Speaker 3: She just helped me, but yeah. 00:30:30 Speaker 2: But I called her because I was on the phone with you and I was like, I don't think. 00:30:34 Speaker 3: She's going to come back from this. Because also you couldn't call my therapist and she couldn't talk to you about me. 00:30:38 Speaker 2: I know, that's where I was like, it would have been after or something. But I called her and I was like, someone needs to go over and sit with her because I think she's losing it. Like losing it, you know? 00:30:49 Speaker 3: And I just thought, Well, because did I call you from my closet while I was crying? Yeah, I remember. 00:30:55 Speaker 2: But you've been so much better. You've been good, but you have that lightness about you. 00:31:07 Speaker 3: I feel it. So that's cool that you recognized it, because I don't know that I would have. thought much about it till you said something. And then that made me reflect on the last week and how I felt. And I know it's too soon to be talking like, oh, the last week I felt amazing. But I think it's been a series of things the last few years that I've been doing and trying to be intentional about from therapeutic work to blood work and different interventions to help, which There are parts of me that I think back to like 2010, 11, 12, that after my mom died, I lost because then, I mean, losing a parent, especially as close as I was to my mom, was very difficult and part of me died in a way. And then my eating disorder came back, which was so distracting. I look back at pictures of me in like 2015, 16, 17, Where it got really bad. I don't even recognize myself because I was so inflamed and unhappy. And my marriage was terrible. Fast forward a few years later, we ended up getting divorced. You know, we adopted kids, which was a beautiful thing and a hard thing. 00:32:28 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:32:29 Speaker 3: Just like you have an experience with a newborn where... you know, you're trying to figure it all out and it's the most amazing thing that's happened to you. And at the same time, you might be like, oh my gosh, what have we done? Because this is a lot and I'm exhausted. And I had the same exact thing with a seven and 11 year old from Haiti. It just looked different. I think I had some, I don't even know what you call it because it's not postpartum, but there was definitely some depression around that. And then there was just, and then my dad got sick and then, a couple of other things. And now I'm like, oh, life is still going to come at me or all of us. Like we don't get a pass just because we've been through X, Y, Z. And people have certainly been through harder things than I have. But I'm thinking back to how I handled my mom's death. And then once I got in recovery in 2020, my dad ended up dying and I didn't relapse, which I was told my therapist I was super scared of because that's clearly how my My brain was going to process the pain. That's what happened with my mom. And then I didn't. And I was, it gave me, it was empowering. I was like, oh, wow, I've evolved. I can see the growth and I can have control over how I grieve this. And I grieved him in such a healthier way than I did my mom. And, you know, now we're, gosh, how many years ago? That was five years ago. Well, very wild. I mean, very wild. 00:34:03 Speaker 2: But I do think like one thing that I've noticed, not to like, I'm probably like thinking like a guy, but just not to oversimplify it, but especially recently, I feel like some of it, aside from everything you've done and the work you've put in, but I think you've just let yourself enjoy some things, try some things, let yourself, you know, go out. hang out and have a late night on a work night. And like, you know what I mean? Like, I think some of that's just been. Yeah. 00:34:36 Speaker 3: I'm not as rigid. 00:34:38 Speaker 2: You've almost just let yourself enjoy it all. 00:34:41 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:34:42 Speaker 3: So that's been nice. And I think that I used to have some of that in me, but then there was like. 00:34:48 Speaker 2: I also think there's something really beautiful. I mean, I lead a group of senior boys on Wednesday nights. And we were talking about this the other week. And like the one thing I think I've learned at this point in my life is like life is hard and it only gets harder. Like it's not going to get easier. Like the only thing is we become stronger. We become more equipped. We put in the work. And then, you know, for me, that's like giving it to God every day. But like you learn how to strengthen your foundation and yourself to deal with

harder things. But like, things don't get easier typically. And I think that's also given me permission to just like accept it as it comes and not let it just knock me over and throw me off my, cause it's like, it is, it's gonna like, it's great right now, but there's going to be something tough that happens and it's going to suck and it's going to come and it's probably going to be worse than something from before. 00:35:46 Speaker 3: And like, yeah, I like that you used that. Cause I was picturing in my mind getting like, like if I was on a ladder or sort of sorts and then like falling all the way down to the ground and you've done all this work to step up the ladder. 00:36:01 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:36:02 Speaker 3: And that's what growth and progress is, is sometimes you fall off, but you get, you can get back on. But I just don't know that I'll fall. My hope is at least I don't fall as far. 00:36:13 Speaker 2: Yeah. Or if you do fall all the way down, you're on the ground like a shorter amount of time. 00:36:18 Speaker 3: Less time. Yeah. And that's where I think like, you know. 00:36:21 Speaker 2: For me, that's the disciplines. And I think the way you talk about it is like the work you put in. But it's like you create those disciplines so when you do fall, you're not on the ground as long. 00:36:30 Speaker 3: Yeah, well, it's work you put in or, like I said, the interventions. For a couple of those years, that meant, you know, Wellbutrin, which I wasn't on forever. I've had seasons of Adderall, which I'm not on now, and I don't think I'll go back. But it served its purpose for me for a season. So an intervention may look a little different for everybody because it might be out of your power. As much as you work, you may not be able to dig yourself out of that depression without the help of, for me, it was Wellbutrin. For someone else, it might be something else. I'm just grateful for the tools and the people and the medications and the long list of things that got me to where I am. And even now I'm not on an antidepressant, but I have a testosterone palette and I've got now my thyroid medication. And I don't know that that means I'll be on that forever. I have no idea. Cause again, that's a new medication and maybe we can get my thyroid acting properly. Um, but I'm thankful for the medical intervention as well. Sure. 00:37:40 Speaker 2: But also you've got these disciplines and these things that you do that help take care of yourself that you're consistent with. Um, I say that just to be like encouraging cause I have to be, I have to encourage myself often. Like, you know, you got me on the gratitude journal and I noticed that there would be seasons that like things sucked and were really tough and I would be journaling a lot more cause I was trying to find things to be grateful for. And then I'd like back off of it when things are good. And it's like, well, no, it's when things are great that we need to keep the disciplines going because it's

going to help again when the next, tough thing comes along to manage it and get through it quicker. You know, you still go through it. 00:38:23 Speaker 1: Yeah. 00:38:24 Speaker 3: Taking note of things that you're thankful for is very powerful. 00:38:28 Speaker 2: It's like me and the word, you know, I'm usually trying to be, I read my Bible every morning. I noticed like when things are tough, I'm like, I'm reading it a lot more, which is good. I'm not saying that's a bad thing. Yeah. 00:38:40 Speaker 3: Or prayer time. 00:38:41 Speaker 2: Yeah. But it's like, I need to be doing this when things are great. Cause prepares me for when. 00:38:46 Speaker 3: The next, Stay ready. Never got to get ready. I was talking to somebody the other day about like the. Your life is a mosaic, right? We can't see the big picture. 00:39:12 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:39:13 Speaker 3: And I've heard this a million times, but it was helpful to revisit it with this friend. Because I think this is a good reminder for if you're ever in a season of knowing that this is part of your bigger picture. And sometimes if you're standing a little too close to everything, you can't see the big picture. you can't see it. 00:39:31 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:39:32 Speaker 3: And then when you start to back up, back up, back up, you can see that there's actually, your life is beautiful. Like there's stuff that's happening. 00:39:43 Speaker 2: And it's so fine. 00:39:44 Speaker 3: And it's all serving a purpose. And yeah, when you're just stuck up way too close into one thing, you get fixated on that and you can't see the bigger picture. And so just a reminder to back up and know and trust that something beautiful is happening. 00:40:00 Speaker 2: I was thinking like you just said that, like one thing I've been feeling and thinking about a lot the last probably year for me has been death. And I was like, I don't know that people think about it enough. I think they think about it. But I wonder what people's relationship to death is. Because it's kind of crazy that it's the one thing we're all guaranteed. You know what I mean? 00:40:23 Speaker 3: Yeah, life and death. 00:40:24 Speaker 2: Yeah. And I think I probably am abnormally, at least when I talk about it with my family and some people I'm close to, more comfortable with it. Because I've maybe just thought of it as like, man, I'm the luckiest kid in the world because I punched the ticket of life and I'm loving it. when it's done, obviously I want to live a long, healthy, full life, but I think I'd be fine whenever that runs out. But what I'm getting at is like, I just like, when you think about death for yourself, not others and loved ones, what's your relationship to that thought? 00:41:04 Speaker 3: I don't really think about it. I know now during my dark season I had, so probably 2021 I, When my therapist had to almost do an intervention and send me away, like I went to this therapy thing for three days in North Carolina, like nine hours a day. No, West, no, Virginia. Why did I say North Carolina? It was beautiful trees. That's probably why it made me think of it. But this woman, Linda, picked me up, took me to a hotel and did therapy on me for three days straight. She works at OnSite. So what I had told my therapist was that I didn't want to hurt myself, but that when I'm driving, if an 18-wheeler were to slam into me and I died, I'd be fine with that. 00:41:53 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:41:54 Speaker 3: That would be totally okay with me. And that's when I learned what suicidal ideation is, because I would have not considered myself suicidal. I thought that the thought I was having was pretty normal. I'm like, but everybody thinks this way. 00:42:08 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:42:09 Speaker 3: And she said, no, Amy, not everyone thinks that way. Now, everyone maybe has gone through a season where they have had those thoughts. But if you're in a healthy place like today, if I was driving on the highway and an 18-wheeler was going to crash into me, I'd be so sad. Like, I don't want that right now. 00:42:26 Speaker 2: No, no. 00:42:28 Speaker 3: I have exciting things on the horizon and I don't want that. But back then, even if I had exciting things on the horizon, I was exhausted and I was like, make it stop. This is so chaotic. I don't want to do this anymore. Game over or get me off this ride. I'm done. And I had to work through that. That's That's really the only time in my life I can recall thinking about death other than also when, of course, my mom and my dad were both sick with cancer. You can't help but think about it. But it was more so thinking about it for them and then thinking, am I going to get cancer? And then I think about death for me in that way. So I'd rather not. go through what they went through. And I sometimes will think about that, like, Oh, well, both my parents had cancer, so I'm probably going to have it. And then I also don't want to have that energy or that attitude. So then I have to wipe away those thoughts. But those are, that's, that's all the death stuff I've got lately. I don't, I don't think about that. Yeah. 00:43:35 Speaker 2: I'm not, I'm just saying, I think it's like, I realized I think about it at least one point every day. 00:43:41 Speaker 3: Every single day. Like, do you think about heaven. 00:43:43 Speaker 2: Or, I mean, I think I just, it's the content. It's not a negative thing. Right. Like it's never, it's. 00:43:50 Speaker 3: Just sort of like, you'd be cool if your time was up, but not in like the sad, depressed way that I was in just more of like, life has been. 00:43:58 Speaker 2: Good to me. Yeah. But it's like, if I got 38 years, I've gotten more than I ever could have hoped for in 38 years. Yeah. 00:44:07 Speaker 3: But you could at least get double that. 00:44:10 Speaker 2: And I love that, but I'm not, and I guess it, the reason I probably, and I probably think about it in the morning hours, but it's like, And the reason I'm connecting

this for me is it goes back to feelings. And it's like all these things that are just feelings. And it's like the one thing that's true in my life is that this isn't forever. And I think I try to embrace the day more and more as every day passes, knowing that I think just as you get older, you realize like this isn't, it's limited, you know? But that's true for all of us. 00:44:47 Speaker 3: Now, if you were with Nicole Kidman, you'd probably want it to never end. 00:44:52 Speaker 2: We're going to ride off into eternity hand in hand. We're going to watch the movies together in heaven. Yeah, I love it. 00:45:00 Speaker 3: Well, thank you, Chase, for coming on and talking feelings with us. You're a good fill-in for Kat. 00:45:07 Speaker 2: Yeah, definitely not a therapist. 00:45:09 Speaker 3: Listen, if you've made it to this point, Chase and I just sat down in these chairs with two microphones and no plan. 00:45:15 Speaker 2: Yeah, as you can tell. 00:45:17 Speaker 3: So just know that I'm grateful that you did this. I wanted to give listeners something new to listen to. And I wanted to just kind of sit down and see what would come out instead of us like planning it out. But maybe next week we'll have a little bit more of a plan, a little bit of an outline, if you will. Nothing scripted, of course, that's never the case, but just some sort of a plan something to offer people but i feel like yeah people now we gave them something to think about death. 00:45:55 Speaker 2: What's your favorite nicole kidman movie. 00:45:58 Speaker 3: And nicole kidman uh i mean i this isn't a movie but i really love big little lies. 00:46:07 Speaker 2: That's the hbo show right yeah it's. 00:46:09 Speaker 3: A series and season three is coming right cat season three cryo cat she's in here not therapy cat what if this whole time we're like just getting therapy cats that would be uh funny i love big little lies um what's your favorite nicole kidman movie it's. 00:46:28 Speaker 2: The one the the musical one the one where she's the. 00:46:32 Speaker 3: Moulin rouge yeah is that the one i think. 00:46:37 Speaker 2: It is i've never seen that it's really good. 00:46:40 Speaker 3: I mean obviously a lot of people have loved it but I. 00:46:42 Speaker 2: Like it because it's all the contemporary music. Like, you'll know all the songs. It's like a mashup. But she's beautiful in it. 00:46:50 Speaker 3: Of course she is. 00:46:51 Speaker 2: Figured we'd start with Nicole, end with Nicole. Again, if you're still listening. 00:46:56 Speaker 3: It's a good bookend. 00:46:57 Speaker 2: Yeah. 00:46:58 Speaker 3: And so how we end things, Chase, is we love to tell people to have the day they need to have because– You can tell someone to have a great day, but honestly, what if they just don't need to have a great day? What if their day is just supposed to be okay? And I also love encouraging people to just make it to the next day and then see what happens. And way to be amazed. 00:47:26 Speaker 2: I love that. 00:47:27 Speaker 3: Life can surprise you. God can surprise you at times. Yeah. We're going to tell you that now. So what we do, Chase, I was going to set you up. I say half the day, and then you go, you need to have. 00:47:39 Speaker 2: Oh, I can do that. 00:47:40 Speaker 3: Right? Okay. All right, y'all. Have the day. 00:47:43 Speaker 2: You need to have. 00:47:45 Speaker 3: Bye. 00:47:46 Speaker 2: Peace.