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Welcome back to Sisters on the Scene.
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I'm Bad Mad and I am coming to you solo this week, socializes.
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Hollywood Hill is currently on the East Coast working on a TV show, and we're working out the logistics because we definitely want to do a few episodes together while she's there.
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But she is currently on the East Coast and I am here in Los Angeles.
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I'm holding down the fort with the dogs.
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I also am working on a TV show remotely though.
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So I get to work from home, which has been so pivotal in my recovery journey.
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If you're just tuning in for the first time, my name is Bad Mad.
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I do this podcast with my sister, Hollywood Hill.
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We are originally from Ohio and we moved from Ohio to Los Angeles with our two boyfriends to follow our dreams.
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From a young age, we have always wanted to work in Hollywood.
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We didn't know what exactly that dream meant because being from Ohio, they don't teach you about Hollywood there at all.
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But we always had that dream in our heart and we have made it happen.
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We are living our dream life in Los Angeles.
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We work in Hollywood on different TV shows and with different celebrities, and it has just been the most fun.
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And the reason we wanted to start this podcast, Sisters on the Scene, is so that we can encourage and inspire others to follow their dream.
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If we did it as two girls from Ohio who had no connections, no money, you know, just moved out here with a gut feeling.
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You can do it too.
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If you have a gut feeling, it is there for a reason.
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And I am so excited to grow this podcast and to see where it goes.
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So don't forget to subscribe, leave us a review, let us know how you're liking the podcast.
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I also wanted to say we will be introducing video.
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I've gotten so many DMs.
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People want the video content.
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And that was always our intention, but we just kind of wanted to ease into the podcast space and the routine of a podcast.
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And we are honestly having so much fun.
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And I will say, socialites, this is only the beginning for Sisters on the Scene.
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You are witnessing it in its very beginning stages, but we have big, big plans.
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And just like anything else in our life, we're going to make it happen, baby.
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So thank you so much to everybody who has shown support and who has listened.
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We are having so much fun.
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And I cannot wait to bring you even more content and just so much to look forward to.
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So today's episode, I wanted to focus on something really traumatic that happened to me last year on my 30th birthday, the week of my 30th birthday, I fractured my tibial plateau.
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That is the area that is right below your kneecap, and breaking it is super devastating and detrimental because the recovery for that takes one year, if not longer, depending on how bad your break is.
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When I met with my surgeon before I even had the surgery, we kind of did a pre-op appointment where he set the tone of what this was gonna look like.
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I had never broken a bone that needed surgery.
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And so he said in that room, I still remember it clear as day, it will be a year.
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And I was like, what?
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What do you mean a year?
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A tibial plateau fracture is absolutely one year recovery minimum.
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Like now being a year out, I can comfortably say that.
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He was absolutely correct.
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And I still am working on strength training.
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Without a doubt, this has been the hardest thing I've had to endure physically in my life.
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I'm 31 years old.
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Like I said, this happened the week of my 30th birthday, completely unexpected, freak accident, freak fall at the house.
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And it has changed my perspective on so many things.
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But I think I can say just as a broad statement, it has changed my perspective on life.
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And what I mean by that, because it sounds super dramatic, it's true though.
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What I mean by that is when something of this caliber happens to you, everything changes.
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And you have the ability to choose if you want to change it for the better or change it for the worse.
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And it is a mental game.
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When Hollywood Hill and I were talking about what could I do as a solo episode, I came up with this idea of just doing a little pep talk for the socialites because no matter what you're going through, whether it's a bone break, whether it's, you know, a really stressful time in your career, in your life, whatever it may be, I feel like this message could really speak to a lot of people.
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And I guess the main thing I want to focus on in this episode is how
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you can change a negative to a positive.
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And that is quite literally what I have done by creating my baddies on break community.
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I broke my leg, fractured my leg, and rather than choosing to wallow in my sorrow and spiral, my life is ruined, my life will never be the same, and letting those thoughts consume me.
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Instead, I took that bundle and burst of negative energy and I turned it into something productive.
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I created an all-women's support group, Baddies on Break, on Facebook, which now has over a thousand members from all over the world.
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I created my own merch line, Batty on Break, and I also wrote my own recovery journal, something I wish I had had during my recovery, and I made that accessible for my girlies in the group, or anybody going through a bone break can benefit from this journal because it essentially tracks your progress and forces you to, you know, have gratitude in your day-to-day.
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And I chose to turn this really negative thing that happened to me because there's no other way to put it.
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It's definitely a negative.
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Breaking a bone unexpectedly the week of your birthday, two days before you're supposed to leave for Maui, Hawaii, is definitely a negative.
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So obviously, I had a lot of big feelings.
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We're all human.
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You know what I mean?
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It's a very human reaction to be scared and to be upset and to ask those questions: why did this happen?
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Why did this have to happen?
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This is so unfair.
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All of those are completely valid, you know, to have an emotional crash out like that after an emergency like this happens.
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My best advice in regards to that is to let those feelings come, whether you're writing them down, telling them to someone, whether you're talking aloud to yourself, whether you're praying about it, whatever it may be, but let those emotions out.
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That is so, so critical.
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And, you know, part of being human is feeling those big human emotions.
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So, you know, allowing myself the space to be upset.
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But where I'm hoping I can kind of reframe for a lot of you socialites is that mental space has to have an expiration date.
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Let yourself feel all the feels, absolutely.
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But do not stay in that place.
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You know, bad things happen every day.
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Bad things on different scales happen every day.
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And the only thing that you can control is how you react to those bad things.
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See, the thing is with positivity, it's like a muscle.
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You have to exercise positivity in every day because it becomes your default.
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Now at 31, I don't let little things, little inconveniences, little minor things bother me.
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I'm at a place where I have trained my mind to stay positive at all times.
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And you can do that too.
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One thing that has really helped me to shift that mindset over the years is that things are happening for me, not to me.
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This specific thing is happening for me as a lesson, not to me.
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So essentially what that does is it shifts from being a victim mentality to an empowered mentality.
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But what if this is setting me up for something greater?
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What if this is working in my favor?
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Even though this is not what I wanted to have happen, what if it sets me up for something bigger and better?
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And so I've trained my mind to think that way.
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There's obviously some situations where this can't really apply.
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A bad thing is just a bad thing.
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But with my leg break, I viewed it as this is going to be so insanely hard and it's going to test me in ways that I have never been tested.
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But then on the flip side, I thought, and what if I learn something from that?
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What if I am sharpened through this really tough experience?
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What if this pressure makes a diamond?
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And that's why, you know, the quote, pressure makes diamonds exists, because pressure literally does make diamonds.
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And so with this particular experience, I have just learned so much.
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And being a year out from all of that hurt and pain and fear and negativity, you know, that was swirling in those first couple days and into the first couple weeks, I really found power in the pause.
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And that is another amazing, amazing reframe that I want, you know, you to think about if you're going through a really tough time or if you are, you know, one of my baddies listening to this.
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There is power in the pause if you search for it.
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Very rarely, as humans, are we given the gift of pause.
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Because you know, your day-to-day is happening, life gets so busy every day.
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It's just you get in the routine and you're not prioritizing yourself.
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You know what I
mean?
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So many women in my baddies on break group are moms, you know, and so their priority is always gonna be their children.
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And so very rarely are you thinking about yourself.
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How am I?
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Are you checking in with yourself?
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And so this break, quite literally break that was granted to me, I chose to look at it through the lens of let's do some self-discovery.
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Let's kind of look at my life and let's see what I like and what I don't like at the present moment.
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Let's see what I need to get rid of and what I need to keep.
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And it allowed me the time and the space to do that.
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Which prior to this injury, I was fashion hosting six days a week.
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I was working on, you know, various TV shows, red carpets, busy, busy, busy.
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While my bone was mending, I was also meditating and praying and just weighing out different things and looking at my life and what do I want to make happen next?
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It really was a transformative experience in more ways than one.
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But the thing is, I chose to look at it that way.
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Obviously, I had bad days.
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Obviously, I had setbacks.
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But there were some days too where I just had to freaking laugh because I'm like, how is this happening right now?
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Like, what is happening?
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I mean, I literally had to use a walker and hop to get to the bathroom.
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I couldn't shower on my own.
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Like I just had those days where I'm like, okay, you have to find the humor in this because at this point, there's nothing else I can do.
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And I think too, when you switch to that mentality of things are happening for me, not to me, it also allows you to ask, how is this shaping me?
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You know, how am I changing through this experience?
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And a lot of times it's like, you know, when you ask for strength, when you ask for patience, when you ask for, you know, all of these things, it's not gonna be sent to you in a pretty little package.
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You're going to be put through the trenches in order to come out as that diamond.
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You know, life is all about experiences.
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Some of us go through harder experiences than others.
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I do think that positivity is the one thing that can lighten the load in those moments where you are tested.
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Remaining positive, remaining hopeful is so,
so, so important for your mental health.
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I challenge everyone listening, start looking at your life that way.
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And it can be, you know, it doesn't have to be these big accidents or big bad things happening.
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It can be your day-to-day little minor inconveniences.
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And this is how I kind of started to shift my mentality as well in my early 20s.
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There is a name for this, it's called the burnt toast theory.
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And I always just kind of thought this in my mind.
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I didn't know it had an official name.
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But basically, the burnt toast theory is a popular mindset and coping mechanism that frames minor inconveniences like burning your toast, missing a bus, spilling coffee as a positive redirection.
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So basically, it's saying that a small delay in your day actually is working in your favor.
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So, like another example that I always kind of used or thought of is when you're stopped at a red light.
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We all know how annoying that is.
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The light turns, you got stopped, and now you're like, oh my gosh, I'm gonna be late.
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But what if that red light prevented you from getting in a car accident?
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You know what I'm saying?
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Oh, okay, these little minor inconveniences are working for me.
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Another thing that comes to mind is Hillary and I had a trip to New York planned, and it was a midnight red-eye flight that we were gonna get there.
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We were seeing a Broadway show, one of our celebrities that we had worked with, we were gonna go see on Broadway.
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Long story short, we're at the airport.
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The flight gets canceled at the last minute.
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We have been at the airport for two and a half hours.
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I call Marcus, who had just dropped us off two hours earlier, and I'm like, babe, you have to come get us.
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Like the flight got canceled.
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Were we disappointed in that moment?
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For sure, because we definitely wanted to go.
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But in the back of my mind, I immediately went to, okay, was something bad gonna happen on that trip?
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And so then the disappointment is minimal.
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Okay, like it just rolls off your back.
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If you can train yourself to think in that way, it is such a powerful tool in your day-to-day life.
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Because now at 31 years old, little minor inconveniences for me, I'm like, oh, sure, bring them on.
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They roll off my back and I don't think twice about them.
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Because I'm like, you know what?
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I guess that wasn't meant to work out.
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The same thing for, you know, missed career opportunities, or when you get a no and you wanted it to be a yes, that is protection.
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And that means something bigger and better is on the way.
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But like I said, it's a muscle.
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You have to practice doing that.
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So I challenge all of you sociales listening when you can train that muscle to default to this is happening for me, not to me, it's a blessing.
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I'm moving on.
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You save yourself so much heartache and so much anxiety and so much stress.
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And yeah, and that is how I was able, I feel like, to turn this really negative bone break into one of the most positive things that have happened in my life thus far, which is baddie's on break.
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I mean, connecting with these women is so empowering to me.
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It just lights me up.
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I remember I created the group and it had two members, me and one other person that I think I had found on TikTok, Jessica.
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And from there, it has now grown to over a thousand members and growing every day.
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I get requests to join every day.
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And I really wanted it to feel like a sisterhood and a safe space where you could ask truly any question.
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You can get feedback on things like what shoes should I wear?
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What should I apply to my scar?
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Where are you at in your recovery?
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And it's women at all different stages of this recovery.
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There's people that are one day out from surgery, and there's people who are 12 years out from surgery.
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And I am so excited for where this is going to go in the future.
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One of my biggest goals, which I've spoken about here on the podcast, is I want to do batty on break retreats annually where women can celebrate overcoming this surgery and this injury.
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It's gonna be a whole big thing.
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So I have a lot of plans for the batty on break group in general.
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The batty on break movement would not exist had I not fractured my tibial plateau.
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The thing is, bad things happen.
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You know, that's just part of life.
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But
another part of life is human connection.
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And I truly think that one of the biggest reasons we're here is to connect in a positive way with other people.
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And that's why Hillary and I started the Sisters on the Scene podcast because we want to reach more people.
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We want to broaden our light and broaden our reach and, you know, our socialites.
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We want to grow and, you know, hopefully you listen to our podcast and feel lighter after listening to it.
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I'm so excited for, you know, Sisters on the Scene and Baddies on Break to be happening at the same time.
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I truly do think the hardest things that we go through in life do sharpen us and do shape who we are.
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You know, being forced to go through a situation where you have no choice but to put one foot in front of the other and grit your teeth and get through it, that shapes you.
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That builds your character.
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That is who you are at the end of the day.
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Are you going to let this thing keep you down?
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Or are you gonna stomp on it and say, you know what?
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That's a terrible thing that happened, but my life isn't terrible.
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And I'm gonna continue to see the good in every day and I'm gonna get stronger.
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I'm not gonna let this get me down.
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And also, you have made it through your hardest day.
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And so this day is not any different.
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It reminds me of Aragorn from Lord of the Rings, but it is not this day.
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Like, this day is not the one.
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You know, you are stronger than your toughest day.
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You are.
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And I believe in you.
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I know that you're gonna make it through this hard chapter, no matter what you're going through.
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Any negative thought, it's like if you have it, dismiss it.
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You know what I mean?
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Sweep it out of here.
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Like the way I kind of picture it is like it just gets swept out.
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I think too, this whole experience has really shown me that you don't know what someone's going through.
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And I think it goes a really long way, two things.
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So, one, check on your friends, check on your loved ones.
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Hillary and I here on the podcast, we call it a ping.
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If you have a random feeling of I should reach out to that person, I should call that person.
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That is a ping, okay?
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And you need to listen to it.
00:16:46.080 --> 00:16:49.840
I think a simple text of just checking on your friends goes a long way.
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And two, spreading more kindness, spreading more love, being more understanding, even to strangers that you're in line with, or you know, strangers that you're customer service reps.
00:17:00.480 --> 00:17:06.799
We all could use a little more understanding and compassion because you truly don't know what that person's going through.
00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:10.559
From looking at me, you would not know that I had a fractured leg.
00:17:10.640 --> 00:17:18.240
I walk completely normal, but you would never know that a year ago I was laid up in bed and could not move, essentially.
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This injury definitely teaches you patience because everything is so slow, you have to baby the leg back to normal.
00:17:25.839 --> 00:17:30.079
If you rush it, you risk setting yourself up for re-injury.
00:17:30.240 --> 00:17:31.440
You will get to the other side.
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And that's true for any hard experience that you're going through.
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You will learn to navigate it, you will come out on the other side.
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I always say in the eye of the storm, it's really hard to see, you know, the sun shining on the other side, the forest through the trees.
00:17:45.920 --> 00:17:49.839
All you can do in the thick of it is just try to do your best every day.
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That's all you can do.
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Show up for yourself, try your best.
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The sun is always waiting for you on the other side.
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And talking about your experience and being open, I think helps others.
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It truly does.
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And, you know, if you're compelled to start a support group or merch line or write a journal or whatever it may be, absolutely do it.
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I totally encourage that because it encourages human connection.
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So much good comes out of just knowing you're not going through it alone.
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And also know that if you are going through a really tough time right now, you are being transformed.
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You are going through a transformation.
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Take the time to pause, take the time to check in on yourself.
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You know, do those emotional check-ins.
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Whether it's you're journaling or meditating or praying, make sure you're doing those check-ins with yourself.
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Train your mind that it is for the better.
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You know, we're not gonna do the negativity thing.
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We're not gonna stay there.
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Feeling like things are unfair and why me and all of that, totally valid.
00:18:43.440 --> 00:18:44.160
Totally valid.
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I've been there, but don't stay there.
00:18:46.319 --> 00:18:48.160
And that is my best piece of advice.
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Also, my DMs are always open, you guys.
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I love, love, love connecting with people.
00:18:53.759 --> 00:18:55.680
That's just something that truly lights me up.
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And I feel like the baddies on break movement has allowed me to do that on the largest scale that I have thus far in my life.
00:19:03.039 --> 00:19:06.160
You know, when I was doing permanent makeup, I did over a hundred clients.
00:19:06.319 --> 00:19:11.920
I was an artist in Columbus, Ohio, and I did eyebrows, eyeliner, and lip color.
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I tattooed women.
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That was very intimate, and I feel like people needed to feel comfortable with me and trust me.
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And I had some amazing clients and conversations in those moments, and I loved that era of my life as I was preparing to move to LA to follow my dreams.
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But Vaddies on Break has allowed me to connect with women all over the world.
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And like I said, I don't plan on it stopping anytime soon.
00:19:35.759 --> 00:19:42.319
And that's kind of our hope too with Sisters on the Scene that we can connect with people all over the world and spread a little posity.
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Follow your dreams.
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If we did it, you can do it.
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Life is just such an interesting thing.
00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:51.680
And you know, the experiences you go through, everyone's dealt a different hand.
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But the experiences you go through really form and shape who you are.
00:19:56.720 --> 00:19:58.559
And I think that there's a lot of power in that.
00:19:58.799 --> 00:20:06.559
So don't let, don't let minor inconveniences ruin your day because it could be happening for your benefit.
00:20:06.720 --> 00:20:08.960
And I think that is all we have time for today.
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I hope you took something from this episode.
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Hollywood Hill and I cannot wait to bring you more episodes coming up.
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Don't forget to subscribe to our Sisters on the Scene here on the podcast.
00:20:22.079 --> 00:20:23.119
Big things coming.
00:20:23.279 --> 00:20:24.880
Big things coming, socialites.
00:20:24.960 --> 00:20:26.240
But thank you so much for listening.
00:20:26.319 --> 00:20:29.119
And I hope all of you are having an amazing week.
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Stay positive.
00:20:30.319 --> 00:20:32.480
Positivity is the best medicine.
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I'm telling you, whatever you're going through, you got this.
00:20:36.400 --> 00:20:39.519
You're gonna come out as a big shiny diamond.
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I'll see you next week.
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:51.359
You're listening to Sisters on the Scene podcast with Bad Mad and Hollywood Hill.