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Hello, welcome back to Risky Conversations.
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And why risky conversations?
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Because everything that's worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation.
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My name is Jamie Lee.
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I'm an executive coach for smart women and marginalized leaders who don't like office politics.
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And I help them get promoted, get better paid without throwing anyone under the bus.
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And how do we do this?
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By combining just smart, proven communication strategies with practical neuroscience.
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And today I want to talk to you about something that I've noticed amongst my best clients.
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It's something I call the coverage trap.
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And how do you know that you're experiencing or you've been in the coverage trap?
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Well, let me ask you this: have you ever noticed that the harder you work, the less anyone seems to notice?
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Not because the work isn't good, the work is good.
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It's too good.
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And because you made it look that way, you made it look easy, people don't notice, and people don't seem to notice that you want additional resources, support, or a promotion that'll help you create even more impact, more value for the organization.
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So if you have experienced something like this, I want you to stick around.
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And first, let me set the scene, okay?
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Because I'm recording this on a Tuesday.
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And here's yet another example of finding yourself in the coverage trap.
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And if you have experienced what I'm talking about, you've probably lived this exact scene that I'm going to, you know, explain to you.
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So let's say it's the weekly project update on a Tuesday, nothing special, just another Tuesday.
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And at the meeting, you professionally give your project update.
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Maybe you leave the project and you say, you know, the project continues to make progress.
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We've seen X percent gains toward our goal, in spite of Sam and Pat, our team members, being out for a whole month.
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And your supervisor, they look pleased and they say, Great, keep it up.
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You've done a great job of covering.
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And that's it.
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Maybe it was 10 seconds, maybe it was even less.
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And on the surface, all is well.
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Another good update.
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But here's the thing about spoken words.
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Sometimes what's not being said tells you volumes the spoken words don't.
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So let's go underneath that update for a second.
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Let's hear what's actually going on in your head and going unsaid as you give that update.
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And this is something that, you know, I recalled from my experiences being an employee.
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And this is something that I often hear from my own clients.
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And it goes something like this.
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On the inside, you're thinking, you know, that last month was one of the hardest months I've ever worked in my professional career.
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I had to work nights and weekends.
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I put aside my family obligations and a key growth objective that I've been wanting to pursue.
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But you know what?
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I don't want to sound like I'm complaining about the workload because I need to prove myself.
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And I don't want to sound like I'm bragging because I'd hate to sound like an arrogant blowhard.
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And let's keep it professional.
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Let's sit, let's make it sound like all is under control.
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Because, first of all, I am keeping things under control and I want to make a good impression.
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And that way, when I make a good impression, it'll look like I'm ready for the promotion I want.
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And the harder I work, the less I'll have to stick my neck out to ask for it.
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And that's a lot happening, right?
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That goes unsaid in about in a in a couple of seconds, right?
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And so, what does your supervisor actually hear in that moment?
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And what actually happens as a result of that?
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There are three key things that I want to tell you about today in this podcast.
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And so let's start with the first thing, which is what actually lands.
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And here's what actually lands the supervisor or the decision maker in that meeting doesn't notice any of your personal sacrifices.
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They don't notice what you're hoping for or what you're capable of beyond what got done.
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Because all you've shared is what got done.
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What they hear is nothing needs to change.
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No promotion, no additional resource needed.
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Status quo is just fine.
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And here's the part I want you to really sit with.
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Load full transcript
Your supervisor is not being malicious.
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They're not withholding support or resources of the promotion out of malice.
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They're simply responding to the only information they were given.
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No gaps, no urgency, no future vision, no ask.
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So this right here is often the kind of risky conversation we talk about when we talk about risky conversations for smart women with career ambitions.
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Except the risky conversation isn't the one you're avoiding having with your boss yet.
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It's the one you haven't had with yourself about what you really want and what you're willing to say out loud to get it.
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Yeah.
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And so here's the second thing that I want to tell you about the blind spot.
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I mean, we've we've sort of touched on this already, but we call this the coverage trap.
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And here's what happens, and here's why it happens.
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As women, as uh minorities, as marginalized people in the workplace, many of us have been conditioned to believe that competence should speak for itself.
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That if we just keep our heads down and do good work, do excellent work, someone will eventually notice and reward us for it.
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And that's how it's supposed to be.
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But here's the truth competence without an articulation of a future vision and an explicit ask does not read as evidence for something that, you know, evidence for something something extra needs to happen.
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What it actually reads as is equilibrium.
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It reads as nothing needs to change.
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And here's the third thing to know about what happens as a result.
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There is the compounding cost.
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And the cost of you know, this situation, the scenario that I'm painting here, it compounds quietly.
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You know, you feel the frustration building on the inside, but you know, if you're listening to this podcast, it's probably not your style to issue ultimatums or threaten to quit.
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So instead, you start opening job listings on your lunch break, or you start networking quietly on LinkedIn, telling yourself it's just curiosity.
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And then you see the email update.
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Steve got the promotion.
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The outspoken Steve, the outspoken but uninspiring Steve got the promotion.
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And you did it.
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And now I want to be really clear about something because I don't want you to walk away from this podcast thinking the fix is
to work harder, to blame ourselves, or to complain louder.
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Yes, inequities do exist.
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Yes, biases do exist.
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Yes, they do play a part in who gets promoted.
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And yet, you know, it's it's not enough to play the blame-shame game.
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Nothing changes when we just, you know, point the finger outward and don't take responsibility for things that we can change.
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So the change that we can effect is first of all acknowledging that the gap between where you are and where you want to go, the promotion you do want, is not more effort.
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It's not working harder.
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You've got that covered in more ways than one.
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And the gap, the actual gap, is simply translation.
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It's turning what you're carrying into language a decision maker can actually act on.
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And that language, again, is not a blame shame game.
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It's not, it's so unfair, what's wrong with me?
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I'm not good enough.
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It's none of that.
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It's language that's future focused, it's language that demonstrates leadership, it's language that shows you understand where the organization is headed and how leadership is thinking about where the organization is headed from here and articulates the ripple effect of your work.
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Because the work you're already doing, the work you've been acing and doing such a great job on, is already making an impact on where the leaders want the organization to go.
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You just haven't yet translated that into language beyond the 10-second Tuesday update.
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So this is exactly what we're going to build together live in a free negotiation workshop that I'm hosting on September 18th.
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For 12 years plus, I've been leading negotiation workshops for professional women, and at least once a year I host a completely cost-free community workshop because this is a vital skill that every woman needs.
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Society teaches us to wait for recognition.
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Society teaches and conditions us to assume that our competence, not our articulation and self-advocacy, will generate professional rewards.
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And so we have to flip that script around.
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We have to just equip ourselves with some simple, structured way to advocate and articulate the value of the work that we are doing so that leaders feel compelled to take action and reward us with the promotion and the raise that you've already earned.
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You've earned that like two cycles ago, right?
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And assuming being good at what you do is going to lead to the recognition and reward that you're not getting right now.
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If you're ready to start translating your value into clear, compelling articulation, I invite you to join the overfunctioning women's negotiation workshop.
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That's right.
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This is a workshop specifically for over-functioning women.
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And it's live, it's free, it's on September 18th.
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And the link to join the workshop is in the show notes.
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Or you can come on over to jamilecoach.com to register.
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J-A-M-I-E-L-E-E-C-O-A-C-H dot com to register.
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It's gonna be on Friday, September 18th.
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And if you can't join it live, don't worry, you will get the replay sent to you.
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And if you know any other woman who's experiencing the similar this coverage trap, and you know somebody who is so good at what they do, but they're being underappreciated at work, please send them the link to join this workshop.
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They will thank you.
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Okay, so until next time, this has been Risky Conversations, and remember that everything worthwhile is on the other side of a risky conversation.
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We'll talk soon.