رونوشت کامل Lauren Welch | From Wine Addiction & Postpartum Anxiety to Therapy & the Sober Curious Society

started to like dabble and got more into it. 00:03:30.479 --> 00:03:30.800 Okay. 00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:35.759 And then in just like social settings, or does that ever become like a drinking on my own type thing in high school? 00:03:36.000 --> 00:03:37.759 Not in high school, not drinking on my own. 00:03:37.919 --> 00:03:41.599 Um, when I grew up, I grew up in a town called Landolakes, and I don't know if you've got to. 00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:42.560 Like the chips? 00:03:42.800 --> 00:03:45.199 Um, no, everyone's Landolakes. 00:03:45.280 --> 00:03:46.159 What the butter? 00:03:46.319 --> 00:03:46.960 Okay, very good. 00:03:47.120 --> 00:03:48.960 We actually don't make it, which is so funny. 00:03:49.199 --> 00:03:49.599 Interesting. 00:03:49.840 --> 00:03:54.000 Did you know like bourbon has to be made in Kentucky, but like I think it's a dry county? 00:03:54.159 --> 00:03:54.719 Are you kidding? 00:03:54.960 --> 00:03:56.400 No, it's truth, truth. 00:03:56.639 --> 00:03:57.199 More fun facts. 00:03:57.599 --> 00:03:58.800 I know like corn sweat. 00:03:58.960 --> 00:04:00.159 Yeah, I can't. 00:04:00.479 --> 00:04:01.759 I'm learning lots of stuff though. 00:04:01.919 --> 00:04:02.080 Yeah. 00:04:02.240 --> 00:04:03.360 Okay, so Landolakes. 00:04:03.520 --> 00:04:05.520 Okay, so I grew up in Landla Lakes, and I don't know. 00:04:05.599 --> 00:04:07.199 Have you ever seen varsity blues? 00:04:07.280 --> 00:04:08.000 Like with Yes. 00:04:08.159 --> 00:04:08.319 Okay. 00:04:08.560 --> 00:04:08.960 Absolutely. 00:04:09.120 --> 00:04:12.080 Okay, so back then, that's like what our town was like. 00:04:12.159 --> 00:04:14.240 It was a super small town, very rural. 00:04:14.400 --> 00:04:15.039 Yep, same. 00:04:15.199 --> 00:04:17.120 So, like, we just partied in fields. 00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:19.600 Like we would get kegs, you know, in cornfields. 00:04:20.000 --> 00:04:23.120 Take a four-wheeler out to like the middle of nowhere, like Yeah. 00:04:23.279 --> 00:04:26.959 So we partied pretty hard back then, but it was never drinking alone. 00:04:27.120 --> 00:04:28.160 It was more at parties. 00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:28.560 Yeah. 00:04:28.720 --> 00:04:33.199 But I even like knew back then that I overdid it more than other kids did. 00:04:33.360 --> 00:04:33.600 Yeah. 00:04:33.759 --> 00:04:34.079 Okay. 00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:39.040 So social settings with friends, does it progress in college? 00:04:39.439 --> 00:04:43.199 So it kind of um got worse, I'd say, towards like my senior year. 00:04:43.360 --> 00:04:43.519 Okay. 00:04:43.839 --> 00:04:46.240 My parents got divorced my senior year. 00:04:46.399 --> 00:04:51.680 So that in like the grand scheme of things was probably like hindsight's 2020. 00:04:51.759 --> 00:04:52.800 I was using it to cope. 00:04:53.120 --> 00:04:55.519 I mean, that's a huge thing, especially as like that later. 00:04:55.680 --> 00:04:58.480 Mine got divorced when I was younger, so it's like I just kind of grew up that way.

00:04:58.639 --> 00:04:58.800 Yeah. 00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:05.360 When you grow up and you're like, no, my family is like the parents that are together to have that happen then your senior year. 00:05:05.439 --> 00:05:05.920 That's huge. 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:06.560 It was hard. 00:05:06.720 --> 00:05:13.759 And two, I think because I was like almost an adult, like 17, 18, I kind of like knew too much about it, I think at the time. 00:05:14.000 --> 00:05:14.319 Yeah. 00:05:14.480 --> 00:05:14.720 Yeah. 00:05:15.199 --> 00:05:18.959 And even though I could converse as an adult, mentally I wasn't there. 00:05:19.120 --> 00:05:19.279 Right. 00:05:19.519 --> 00:05:21.040 So you're in it as the child. 00:05:21.360 --> 00:05:21.600 Yeah. 00:05:22.160 --> 00:05:25.120 And um, yeah, I just used it to really like escape. 00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:29.600 And I didn't realize it at the time because I just thought I'm like, oh, I'm like carefree and having fun. 00:05:29.680 --> 00:05:30.000 Yeah. 00:05:30.240 --> 00:05:33.680 But that's probably when it got like more extreme, I would say. 00:05:34.000 --> 00:05:36.879 Did you ever dabble in like other substances or just alcohol? 00:05:37.120 --> 00:05:37.920 I did, yeah. 00:05:38.079 --> 00:05:43.519 Um, I'm super thankful that um anything that has like an opioid makes me violently sick. 00:05:43.680 --> 00:05:46.560 So I never have like liked any of that stuff. 00:05:46.800 --> 00:05:54.800 Um, but that was like the rave era with like ecstasy, and we would go to like rolling parties and then a little bit of like cocaine. 00:05:55.199 --> 00:05:56.560 Um Midwest cocaine. 00:05:56.800 --> 00:05:56.959 I know. 00:05:57.199 --> 00:05:58.160 It's just a sign of the times. 00:05:58.240 --> 00:06:04.079 I don't know what it was, but it was like growing up, I it started with like gossip girl jersey, short, like all of these things. 00:06:04.319 --> 00:06:08.000 I felt like my like early 20s, I was just supposed to be partying. 00:06:08.079 --> 00:06:09.600 That's what everybody's doing, right? 00:06:10.160 --> 00:06:15.439 Like that everybody's doing this, and everyone's and it's a new episode the next time for them, and they're all alive and they're fine. 00:06:16.000 --> 00:06:16.879 It's a TV show. 00:06:17.040 --> 00:06:17.199 Yeah. 00:06:17.519 --> 00:06:18.879 I think I just did not separate that. 00:06:18.959 --> 00:06:23.120 It's like how realistically you should be living, and like that's not that's not it. 00:06:23.360 --> 00:06:29.040 No, and it's so true, and it's like you like want to emulate whatever they're doing because it looks fun and they're dressed cute. 00:06:29.360 --> 00:06:29.519 Right. 00:06:29.600 --> 00:06:32.959 And I don't want to say everyone was doing it, but everyone was doing it almost. 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:34.560 Everyone that I surrounded myself with. 00:06:34.720 --> 00:06:36.720 So to me, it wasn't like abnormal back then. 00:06:36.959 --> 00:06:39.519 And the people that weren't, I remember thinking, like, what are you doing? 00:06:39.680 --> 00:06:39.839 Right. 00:06:40.000 --> 00:06:41.040 Like, what are you doing? 00:06:41.199 --> 00:06:41.439 Right. 00:06:41.600 --> 00:06:43.040 I think I was trying to feel something else. 00:06:43.279 --> 00:06:43.439 Yeah. 00:06:43.839 --> 00:06:44.000 Same. 00:06:44.240 --> 00:06:44.399 Yeah. 00:06:44.480 --> 00:06:45.040 I was, yeah. 00:06:45.120 --> 00:06:46.399 I just felt a little lonely. 00:06:46.480 --> 00:06:47.600 I think that's what it was. 00:06:47.759 --> 00:06:48.319 Definitely. 00:06:48.480 --> 00:06:50.079 Um, you went to a beauty school? 00:06:50.319 --> 00:06:50.959 So I did. 00:06:51.040 --> 00:06:58.079 Well, I started a semester of community college, but I wanted to go to hair school right away, but my parents were like, you need to go to college, blah, blah, blah. 00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:00.160 So I went and I hated it and dropped out. 00:07:00.319 --> 00:07:02.959 And then I started cosmetology school when I was 19. 00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:03.360 Okay. 00:07:03.600 --> 00:07:05.360 And then, yeah, that's when it took off. 00:07:05.920 --> 00:07:07.600 I knew that I loved it right when I started. 00:07:07.759 --> 00:07:07.839 Right. 00:07:08.160 --> 00:07:12.000 I worked in hair salons in high school as a receptionist and just like loved it. 00:07:12.160 --> 00:07:15.360 I was all about like the creative side of it, and it was just so fun. 00:07:15.680 --> 00:07:22.160 Um, but we were like partying all the time when I was in cosmetology school because all of my other friends were in college. 00:07:22.399 --> 00:07:24.639 So, you know, we were like the bad kids. 00:07:24.800 --> 00:07:27.279 Yeah, it's like a different schedule type of thing. 00:07:27.439 --> 00:07:27.680 Yes. 00:07:27.839 --> 00:07:28.560 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:07:28.639 --> 00:07:28.879 Yeah. 00:07:29.040 --> 00:07:34.000 Um, I worked in the restaurant industry with a couple girls that were also going to cosmetology school. 00:07:34.240 --> 00:07:36.160 And I felt like they're like, oh, it's very similar. 00:07:36.240 --> 00:07:37.759 Like, we're all gonna go out to party tonight. 00:07:37.839 --> 00:07:39.199 It's like your little crew. 00:07:39.360 --> 00:07:39.680 Totally. 00:07:39.759 --> 00:07:39.839 Okay. 00:07:40.079 --> 00:07:40.240 Yeah. 00:07:40.480 --> 00:07:48.240 And does this ever become like an issue in regards to like, uh, this was fine before I can maintain this, but like now school's taking a hit. 00:07:48.319 --> 00:07:49.839 Now my personal life's taking a hit. 00:07:50.079 --> 00:07:52.240 Yeah, I kind of had to like buckle down. 00:07:52.399 --> 00:07:54.399 Um, I think I was so terrible. 00:07:54.480 --> 00:07:57.759 I think I was missing like 400 hours when I was supposed to finish. 00:07:58.000 --> 00:08:00.959 At that point, I was like, I really need to like get it together and focus. 00:08:01.120 --> 00:08:06.240 And I was staying at school for 12 hours a day

just to like knock it out and finish it, which it was my own fault. 00:08:06.480 --> 00:08:08.959 But my poor parents had to pay a lot of extra money. 00:08:09.040 --> 00:08:11.279 And I'm very grateful that like they were able to do that. 00:08:11.600 --> 00:08:11.920 Thanks, guys. 00:08:12.319 --> 00:08:12.560 Thank you. 00:08:12.720 --> 00:08:14.160 I know, or else I wouldn't have been able to finish. 00:08:14.240 --> 00:08:16.639 But yeah, so I think that was like definitely a wake-up call. 00:08:16.720 --> 00:08:20.639 And I was like, okay, I need to like focus and just knock it out and finish. 00:08:20.959 --> 00:08:25.759 The thing was to focus harder, but to not stop doing the thing that was like pulling you away from focusing. 00:08:25.920 --> 00:08:26.240 Totally. 00:08:26.480 --> 00:08:29.279 Because that would prevent like the social aspect of it. 00:08:29.439 --> 00:08:34.000 And also sometimes it's like I can't imagine at that age when I put myself back in that. 00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:35.600 We were having so much fun. 00:08:35.679 --> 00:08:41.039 And if I were to be like, oh, I'm just not gonna do this anymore, I think I would have felt the potential being left out. 00:08:41.360 --> 00:08:42.159 Oh, for sure. 00:08:42.320 --> 00:08:47.039 I mean, that's what my whole life revolved around was like the bars, going out, partying. 00:08:47.200 --> 00:08:48.799 Everything we did involved drinking. 00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:54.559 And it gives you like affirmation too, because sometimes in that scene you're like the fun it girl. 00:08:54.720 --> 00:08:55.039 Right. 00:08:55.200 --> 00:09:02.159 Um, but it's literally at nighttime when there's alcohol involved and it feels super lonely anytime outside of that. 00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:02.480 Yeah. 00:09:02.639 --> 00:09:06.240 Which makes you feel like then you need that environment to feel happy. 00:09:06.399 --> 00:09:10.000 I'm literally putting pieces of my own together right now in my head. 00:09:10.080 --> 00:09:12.799 I'm like, why was I always like so yearning for that? 00:09:12.960 --> 00:09:13.120 Right. 00:09:13.279 --> 00:09:17.600 Because like thinking back on it, everything that happened, I was like, I didn't even want to do this. 00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:18.879 I just didn't want to be alone. 00:09:19.200 --> 00:09:22.320 Yeah, I honestly didn't know anything else. 00:09:22.559 --> 00:09:28.000 Like, I had done it pretty much consistently from 15 until I'm like 19, 20 at this point. 00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:31.919 I didn't even like wrap my head around that there could be a different way of life. 00:09:32.080 --> 00:09:32.320 Right. 00:09:32.480 --> 00:09:34.080 I just thought that's the way that it is. 00:09:34.320 --> 00:09:34.480 Right. 00:09:34.559 --> 00:09:35.360 I don't know if I like it. 00:09:35.679 --> 00:09:36.639 I don't know if I like something else. 00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:42.080 This is just like I just want to be with people, and I know all these people are always out all the time. 00:09:42.240 --> 00:09:43.279 So I don't have to be alone. 00:09:43.360 --> 00:09:46.000 I know I can call someone because someone's always gonna want to go drink. 00:09:46.159 --> 00:09:46.639 All the time. 00:09:46.799 --> 00:09:47.360 Uh yeah. 00:09:47.519 --> 00:09:49.759 I work with a lot of like younger people. 00:09:50.000 --> 00:09:58.559 Well, probably like 10 years younger or so, like early 20s, and the amount of activities that they all do that don't involve drinking is so cool. 00:09:58.799 --> 00:10:02.799 Yeah, and just like the fun stuff that maybe at that age I would have been like, you want to do that? 00:10:02.960 --> 00:10:03.360 Yes. 00:10:03.519 --> 00:10:05.840 Yes, but now I'm like, oh my gosh, I love that you guys want to do that. 00:10:06.000 --> 00:10:06.639 Can I join you? 00:10:07.200 --> 00:10:07.600 Me too. 00:10:07.679 --> 00:10:13.120 And it's just really, really great to see because I just feel like it's a whole different life, you know what I mean? 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:19.039 And they're making bonds not based around like substances and like not remembering fun times. 00:10:19.360 --> 00:10:20.799 I don't think they get enough credit for that. 00:10:21.120 --> 00:10:26.000 No, that's that's a really great thing to bring to start a friendship, to actually have a friendship. 00:10:26.080 --> 00:10:32.639 Because thinking back on it, I was like, I think I had a million acquaintances, but I don't know if I could have like counted on someone to like open up to. 00:10:32.960 --> 00:10:33.279 No. 00:10:33.600 --> 00:10:40.080 Did you in like that time period you felt like you needed to focus more on school because something was happening? 00:10:40.240 --> 00:10:45.440 But did you feel like that thing was happening was caused by your drinking? 00:10:45.600 --> 00:10:47.679 And did you ever like open up and talk about it? 00:10:47.759 --> 00:10:49.600 Like, was that ever a conversation with your friends? 00:10:49.759 --> 00:10:51.679 Um, not with my friends, not back then. 00:10:51.840 --> 00:10:58.559 I think just because we were all kind of doing the same thing, um, most of us like kept our shit together, some didn't. 00:10:58.799 --> 00:11:01.360 Um, that's when pills got really bad too. 00:11:01.519 --> 00:11:05.600 We had a lot of friends pass away, which was awful to go through. 00:11:05.840 --> 00:11:11.600 So I think like in my friend group, we all rationalized it that we were like doing what we're supposed to be doing. 00:11:11.679 --> 00:11:11.840 Yeah. 00:11:12.000 --> 00:11:13.120 So we don't have a problem. 00:11:13.919 --> 00:11:15.279 It's not bad because we're just drinking. 00:11:15.440 --> 00:11:15.600 Right. 00:11:15.840 --> 00:11:16.720 We're like, we have jobs. 00:11:16.879 --> 00:11:17.039 Right. 00:11:17.279 --> 00:11:18.639 I can put myself together together. 00:11:18.720 --> 00:11:18.960 Yeah. 00:11:19.279 --> 00:11:24.000 But my parents, um, you know, I would kind of they

would talk to me about it more at that point. 00:11:24.399 --> 00:11:26.799 So fast forward, then. 00:11:26.879 --> 00:11:31.440 So you end up like you graduate beauty school, you open a salon. 00:11:31.840 --> 00:11:32.879 Oh, not at first. 00:11:33.039 --> 00:11:33.679 Okay, so yeah. 00:11:34.000 --> 00:11:36.159 You graduate beauty school, then what happens? 00:11:36.320 --> 00:11:40.159 So I had started working at like a larger commission salon in Tampa. 00:11:40.240 --> 00:11:44.159 That was um my first job, and I was there for almost eight years, which was it was great. 00:11:44.240 --> 00:11:44.879 It was so fun. 00:11:44.960 --> 00:11:50.080 And I'm still really close with a lot of my coworkers, and we work together now at the salon that I own, which is really cool. 00:11:50.559 --> 00:11:54.480 But yeah, so I worked, it was called New Identities, and I was there forever. 00:11:54.559 --> 00:11:55.840 I feel like I grew up there. 00:11:56.320 --> 00:11:58.320 Um, I met my husband while I was working there. 00:11:58.639 --> 00:11:58.960 I love that. 00:11:59.200 --> 00:11:59.759 We got engaged. 00:11:59.919 --> 00:12:00.720 Wait, was he a customer? 00:12:00.879 --> 00:12:03.360 Are you like his hair and you're like, oh my gosh, this guy's so cute. 00:12:03.600 --> 00:12:05.840 I'll have oh, that's a whole, it's a good story though. 00:12:06.000 --> 00:12:09.440 No, so he um had moved from Pennsylvania. 00:12:09.679 --> 00:12:11.679 I don't know if you guys know, but he was on. 00:12:11.840 --> 00:12:13.039 Do you remember MTV? 00:12:13.440 --> 00:12:15.039 Please, yes, I live on True Life. 00:12:15.360 --> 00:12:15.759 Yes. 00:12:16.000 --> 00:12:18.000 Okay, so Adam was on True Life. 00:12:18.080 --> 00:12:19.039 I'm going to rehab. 00:12:19.120 --> 00:12:19.360 My husband. 00:12:19.759 --> 00:12:20.080 Lily. 00:12:20.480 --> 00:12:21.759 I have Paramount. 00:12:21.840 --> 00:12:22.799 I'm gonna be watching that today. 00:12:23.120 --> 00:12:24.159 Okay, you have to watch it. 00:12:24.320 --> 00:12:26.559 I think it aired in 2008. 00:12:26.720 --> 00:12:30.240 So I actually saw him on the show before I ever met him in person. 00:12:30.559 --> 00:12:30.879 Stop. 00:12:31.039 --> 00:12:31.519 Oh my gosh. 00:12:31.600 --> 00:12:32.879 Okay, I'm so excited to watch this. 00:12:32.960 --> 00:12:34.480 I'm on an episode of Undercover Boss. 00:12:34.639 --> 00:12:35.440 Oh, are you really? 00:12:35.519 --> 00:12:35.759 Yeah. 00:12:35.919 --> 00:12:36.240 Stop. 00:12:36.399 --> 00:12:36.879 That's so cool. 00:12:37.200 --> 00:12:39.440 For an old startup I used to work at we could talk about that on camera. 00:12:39.679 --> 00:12:40.320 Oh, I'm excited. 00:12:40.559 --> 00:12:41.279 I want to watch that now. 00:12:41.360 --> 00:12:41.600 Uh-huh. 00:12:41.679 --> 00:12:45.279 It's just a really cute, like, hi, welcome to and oh, I love it. 00:12:46.080 --> 00:12:50.480 Anyways, so I left the fame behind, but you know, we're gonna go out our things

now. 00:12:50.720 --> 00:12:50.879 Yeah. 00:12:51.039 --> 00:12:57.840 Um, one thing about your story is I feel like it's really common because it doesn't feel like there's like some type of like tipping point. 00:12:57.919 --> 00:13:02.879 There's not like some type of like spiral where we're needing intervention. 00:13:03.039 --> 00:13:07.360 It seems like a very common, like, I'm kind of just like doing what my friends are doing. 00:13:07.519 --> 00:13:08.559 Nothing's over the top. 00:13:08.720 --> 00:13:13.519 This is just like a very regular way of life for a lot of people. 00:13:13.759 --> 00:13:14.320 Yeah. 00:13:14.639 --> 00:13:20.879 But at some point, we're just like, okay, this has been going on like quite some time, and I feel like other things are starting to happen. 00:13:21.039 --> 00:13:23.600 And I don't know if it's being like attributed to this. 00:13:23.840 --> 00:13:24.080 Right. 00:13:24.480 --> 00:13:28.799 So there isn't like a rock bottom, but what are you feeling as these like years go on? 00:13:29.039 --> 00:13:29.759 That's a great question. 00:13:29.919 --> 00:13:32.879 So, as time keeps passing, I'm at my salon for like eight years. 00:13:33.039 --> 00:13:34.240 We end up getting married. 00:13:34.399 --> 00:13:41.679 Um, we bought our house, and then I ended up leaving to open my first salon suite in 2014, which was so exciting. 00:13:41.919 --> 00:13:45.039 And we had our first baby in 2016. 00:13:45.679 --> 00:13:53.440 Personally, I think it was like a really like slow burn of, you know, when you're younger in your 20s and you're going out and partying. 00:13:53.600 --> 00:13:54.960 Well, now I'm at home with a baby. 00:13:55.200 --> 00:13:56.320 So it just feels different too. 00:13:56.559 --> 00:13:56.879 It's different. 00:13:57.120 --> 00:13:58.320 Like, oh, I'm a changed woman. 00:13:58.559 --> 00:13:58.799 Right. 00:13:59.360 --> 00:14:03.679 But it switched from going out to bars to drinking on my couch. 00:14:03.840 --> 00:14:04.159 Okay. 00:14:04.399 --> 00:14:06.879 And in my head, I was like, well, I'm not going out. 00:14:07.039 --> 00:14:09.840 I'm not like taking shots, but I'm gonna have like a glass of wine. 00:14:09.919 --> 00:14:10.799 It's like Monday night. 00:14:10.960 --> 00:14:12.960 It's literally encouraged everywhere you see it. 00:14:13.200 --> 00:14:18.240 You know, one glass would turn into like two, and then we would maybe go out on the weekend and have dinner. 00:14:18.480 --> 00:14:27.679 And I didn't realize that it was happening as it was going on, but I think um the pandemic is when it got really bad for I feel like it exacerbated that for a lot. 00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:28.399 It really did. 00:14:28.559 --> 00:14:35.039 I called it like the never-ending hurricane party because in Florida, with hurricanes, it's like, oh, how much can you drink when you can't leave and blah blah blah? 00:14:35.279 --> 00:14:36.960 People just like stock up on stuff all the time. 00:14:37.039 -->

00:14:38.559 We would have like more alcohol than water. 00:14:38.639 --> 00:14:39.279 It's just ridiculous. 00:14:39.519 --> 00:14:40.320 Alcohol stops. 00:14:40.399 --> 00:14:44.320 So we're in Wisconsin, they stopped selling well here at 9 p.m. 00:14:44.639 --> 00:14:45.039 Oh wow. 00:14:45.200 --> 00:14:47.840 Yeah, you can't buy alcohol past 9 p.m. 00:14:48.159 --> 00:14:48.639 That's crazy. 00:14:48.799 --> 00:14:49.039 Uh-huh. 00:14:49.279 --> 00:14:50.320 So like 24 hours. 00:14:50.639 --> 00:14:55.440 People, I know when there's a blizzard, people do tend to stock up, but I think they like that helps limit it. 00:14:55.679 --> 00:14:55.840 Yeah. 00:14:56.000 --> 00:14:59.840 I feel like 2020, and we had just had our second baby in 2019. 00:14:59.919 --> 00:15:01.840 So he actually turned one during the corners. 00:15:02.240 --> 00:15:03.279 Straight up COVID baby. 00:15:03.519 --> 00:15:03.919 I did. 00:15:04.240 --> 00:15:04.480 Yes. 00:15:04.720 --> 00:15:07.440 We had um his first birthday was Tiger King themed. 00:15:07.759 --> 00:15:10.080 He's gonna look back as an adult and be like, what the hell is wrong with you? 00:15:10.159 --> 00:15:11.200 Um like you had to be there. 00:15:11.360 --> 00:15:11.840 It was like fitting. 00:15:12.480 --> 00:15:12.639 Right. 00:15:12.720 --> 00:15:14.480 But yeah, it was like fitting for the time. 00:15:14.639 --> 00:15:18.080 But yeah, and then I couldn't work being a hairstylist and salon owner. 00:15:18.320 --> 00:15:22.000 So my business was shut down, and then my husband got furloughed from his job. 00:15:22.240 --> 00:15:25.679 So we went from having like two steady incomes to nothing. 00:15:25.840 --> 00:15:26.320 That's huge. 00:15:26.559 --> 00:15:28.799 And it was very stressful with like a new baby. 00:15:28.960 --> 00:15:32.080 And I think that's probably when it got really bad. 00:15:32.159 --> 00:15:38.399 And I think I also was like struggling with postpartum anxiety and it was never really like diagnosed. 00:15:38.559 --> 00:15:40.639 I just felt awful all the time. 00:15:40.960 --> 00:15:43.440 I mean, after that six-week checkup, who really cares? 00:15:43.600 --> 00:15:44.159 You know what I mean? 00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:49.840 So, yeah, mental health problems start with women at six months. 00:15:50.000 --> 00:15:56.480 After that, like initial part where postpartum depression, there's another peak at six months that I think a lot of people just aren't aware of. 00:15:56.720 --> 00:16:01.279 And it's really, really hard being a new mom every single time it happens. 00:16:01.440 --> 00:16:03.919 Anytime you're bringing in your hormones are going crazy. 00:16:04.080 --> 00:16:06.960 You had a pandemic, I call it the plague. 00:16:07.200 --> 00:16:19.600 Literally, but like navigating that while also having a newborn baby, I would be scared of literally everything because it's such an unknown time, and you're like, I just want to protect my family, and I have no idea what's happening. 00:16:19.840 --> 00:16:21.519 Yeah, it was honestly like terrifying. 00:16:21.679 --> 00:16:28.000 I had my older son was three, and then Bronx was a baby, and it was just so I don't even know. 00:16:28.080 --> 00:16:30.879 It felt like it was like out of a movie, like as it was happening. 00:16:30.960 --> 00:16:32.240 It was just traumatic. 00:16:32.480 --> 00:16:36.399 And you know, you're in it and living it, and I just couldn't cope. 00:16:36.559 --> 00:16:39.200 So I was drinking, you know, more at that point. 00:16:39.519 --> 00:16:43.440 What was like your average day or evening like when it came to drinking? 00:16:43.679 --> 00:16:44.399 It would vary. 00:16:44.559 --> 00:16:47.440 Like sometimes I would have like two glasses. 00:16:47.600 --> 00:16:49.039 Sometimes I would have a bottle. 00:16:49.200 --> 00:16:49.440 Yeah. 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:53.759 Sometimes, if friends are over, we'll go through like bottles of like wine. 00:16:53.919 --> 00:16:57.840 Um, and it was very like unpredictable towards the end of it. 00:16:57.919 --> 00:16:58.159 Yeah. 00:16:58.320 --> 00:17:02.399 And that's when I kind of started to get like freaked out, like by my own behavior with it. 00:17:02.639 --> 00:17:03.919 How did your behavior change? 00:17:04.160 --> 00:17:12.400 I could have a glass of wine and be like blackout drunk sometimes, or I could have like several drinks and be up and talking and you wouldn't know that I drank a lot. 00:17:12.640 --> 00:17:13.680 It was very weird. 00:17:13.759 --> 00:17:18.000 And I felt like just my reaction to the alcohol was like all over the place. 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:18.319 Right. 00:17:18.720 --> 00:17:20.480 And I couldn't like control it. 00:17:20.640 --> 00:17:23.279 Yeah, it doesn't have to be necessarily drinking every single day. 00:17:23.440 --> 00:17:23.680 Right. 00:17:23.839 --> 00:17:28.079 But if your body is reacting and you have a single drink and you can't remember what happened. 00:17:28.480 --> 00:17:29.119 It was weird. 00:17:29.279 --> 00:17:29.680 Yeah. 00:17:30.000 --> 00:17:39.359 Hindsight, are there any other things that like you noticed maybe like I was kind of craving it more than I was before. 00:17:39.599 --> 00:17:40.880 I was thinking about it. 00:17:40.960 --> 00:17:42.720 It was like part of my daily plan. 00:17:42.960 --> 00:17:43.599 Oh, for sure. 00:17:43.759 --> 00:17:49.200 I mean, once like, you know, six o'clock hit, I'm like, okay, well, you know, it's like Pavlov Pavlov's bell. 00:17:49.359 --> 00:17:50.160 Pavlov's bell. 00:17:50.319 --> 00:17:50.480 Yeah. 00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:56.319 It's like I I'm not joking, like the cork, like opening, it would send this like response, like the sound of it. 00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:57.599 It was very weird. 00:17:58.000 --> 00:17:59.759 Um, but yeah, it was like clockwork. 00:18:00.000 --> 00:18:02.000 And it's like really big in mommy culture too. 00:18:02.400 --> 00:18:10.799 I know when the pandemic started,

like we were trapped there, and like we had a like a Zoom like drinking game night. 00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:11.920 Yeah, we did too. 00:18:12.400 --> 00:18:12.640 Yeah. 00:18:12.960 --> 00:18:16.079 So it's the pandemic, you're struggling with those things. 00:18:16.240 --> 00:18:17.519 It starts progressing. 00:18:17.680 --> 00:18:21.920 Is when's the point where you're like, I just I just I'm kind of done with this. 00:18:22.240 --> 00:18:30.160 In 2021, um, we opened my husband and I our first salon suite that we were actually like the landlord and renting out suites. 00:18:30.319 --> 00:18:30.799 Oh, awesome. 00:18:31.039 --> 00:18:31.759 Which was really great. 00:18:31.920 --> 00:18:32.240 Thank you. 00:18:32.319 --> 00:18:35.200 It was a labor of love, um, very, very stressful. 00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:41.680 We had just opened the salon suite in December, and then Adam's grandmother passed away, which was very sad. 00:18:42.079 --> 00:18:43.440 So he's from Pennsylvania. 00:18:43.519 --> 00:18:48.000 So he flew to Pennsylvania with his brother Pete and um art, his dad. 00:18:48.240 --> 00:18:53.519 And the day that they flew home, um, Adam's brother Pete died suddenly. 00:18:53.920 --> 00:18:59.680 He was 41, totally healthy, no issues, like healthy, fine the whole time on the trip. 00:19:00.000 --> 00:19:02.799 I think it was Sunday, they got home, they're texting about football. 00:19:02.880 --> 00:19:07.039 We go to bed, and then we're woken up in the middle of the night that Pete died. 00:19:07.279 --> 00:19:08.079 Oh my gosh. 00:19:08.319 --> 00:19:08.720 Yeah. 00:19:08.960 --> 00:19:15.119 It was one of the most just like traumatic, I don't know, losses I've ever been through. 00:19:15.359 --> 00:19:17.039 And it happened like that. 00:19:17.440 --> 00:19:20.400 And that's when my drinking got bad. 00:19:20.559 --> 00:19:24.240 Um, because I was just so sad and so angry. 00:19:24.559 --> 00:19:25.519 I can't imagine. 00:19:25.680 --> 00:19:27.599 Honestly, that has to be the most shocking thing. 00:19:27.759 --> 00:19:30.880 How do you even like consider like, yeah, how do you put those pieces together? 00:19:31.279 --> 00:19:34.400 Someone's just here and they're not, especially someone so close and so young. 00:19:34.559 --> 00:19:35.759 Yeah, we were really close. 00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:37.279 He was our son's godfather. 00:19:37.359 --> 00:19:38.799 He was my husband's like best friend. 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:39.599 I'm so sorry. 00:19:39.759 --> 00:19:40.240 Thank you. 00:19:40.400 --> 00:19:41.680 It was really, really terrible. 00:19:41.839 --> 00:19:47.200 And I think um, you know, I mean, loss sucks no matter what type of loss it is. 00:19:47.279 --> 00:19:55.680 And I'd grieved, you know, grandparents who had lived long, healthy lives, or friends with like tragic things like car accidents or you know, things like that. 00:19:55.759 --> 00:20:02.160 But this was just so unexpected and out of thin air that I think I was just so

mad. 00:20:02.559 --> 00:20:05.359 And like I was like pissed, like I was so angry. 00:20:05.440 --> 00:20:08.079 And like I can't put a reason to this for everything else. 00:20:08.160 --> 00:20:09.519 Like, I can't see it like a car accident. 00:20:09.759 --> 00:20:10.400 Okay, I get that. 00:20:10.480 --> 00:20:12.079 Like someone living their life, I get that. 00:20:12.160 --> 00:20:12.559 But why? 00:20:12.720 --> 00:20:12.960 Why? 00:20:13.200 --> 00:20:13.440 Why? 00:20:13.759 --> 00:20:17.359 So that was like 2021, 2022-ish era. 00:20:17.440 --> 00:20:20.960 And then my dad actually had a stroke two weeks after Pete died. 00:20:21.119 --> 00:20:21.759 Oh my goodness. 00:20:21.920 --> 00:20:24.480 Yeah, he lived in Denver at the time and had a stroke. 00:20:24.559 --> 00:20:25.359 So Pete died. 00:20:27.200 --> 00:20:28.000 It was a lot, yeah. 00:20:28.079 --> 00:20:33.200 So I think a combination of Pete's passing and my dad having the stroke was like set me over the edge. 00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:36.319 That's I would feel a complete lack of control in my life. 00:20:36.480 --> 00:20:36.960 Yes. 00:20:37.200 --> 00:20:39.039 Especially during the pandemic, too. 00:20:39.119 --> 00:20:40.880 And so like freezing out of that. 00:20:41.119 --> 00:20:41.359 Right. 00:20:41.599 --> 00:20:42.240 Oh my gosh. 00:20:42.400 --> 00:20:46.240 Okay, so how does your family handle that? 00:20:46.720 --> 00:20:52.319 I think that with my job, I don't know if it's a good or bad thing, but I'm used to like compartmentalizing things. 00:20:52.559 --> 00:20:53.200 I know what you mean. 00:20:53.279 --> 00:20:58.799 You there's a special face for this place, and it's kind of a safe place, and that's why I keep it here. 00:20:59.039 --> 00:20:59.279 Right. 00:20:59.440 --> 00:20:59.680 Yeah. 00:20:59.920 --> 00:21:06.799 So I was actually the one who helped like organize Pete's whole service because his dad and stepmom lost their only son. 00:21:07.039 --> 00:21:12.480 Um, so I kind of just went into like, okay, I need to get shit done mode and was distracted with that. 00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:17.519 Um, but yeah, it was really hard and obviously hard for my husband and my kids at the time. 00:21:17.759 --> 00:21:20.160 My dad was so far away when that happened too. 00:21:20.319 --> 00:21:23.599 So that was a whole nother It's a huge tug in so many directions. 00:21:24.160 --> 00:21:24.720 Oh my goodness. 00:21:24.880 --> 00:21:25.599 I'm so sorry. 00:21:25.839 --> 00:21:26.319 Thank you. 00:21:26.640 --> 00:21:34.000 Have you gone to therapy or have you seen anybody at prior to like at this point, at any point in your life? 00:21:34.400 --> 00:21:34.880 Yes. 00:21:35.119 --> 00:21:41.039 So what's really interesting too, I don't really remember going um when my parents got divorced. 00:21:41.599 --> 00:21:42.720 Divorce therapist, yeah. 00:21:42.880 --> 00:21:45.119 Yeah, like I think it's mandated by the state. 00:21:45.200 --> 00:21:46.480 Um, I don't remember going. 00:21:46.720 --> 00:21:48.799 You just clearly high school, yes. 00:21:48.960 --> 00:21:49.359 Interesting. 00:21:49.440 --> 00:21:50.000 I remember mine. 00:21:50.160 --> 00:21:51.920 I like I remember the treats they gave us. 00:21:52.079 --> 00:21:52.319 I know. 00:21:52.400 --> 00:21:58.160 I'm like, I don't really I don't know if it's I don't know, your brain's way of like removing traumatic, like there's probably a lot going on. 00:21:58.400 --> 00:21:58.799 Yeah, yeah. 00:21:58.880 --> 00:21:59.759 I don't remember that, but a lot. 00:22:00.400 --> 00:22:00.640 I went. 00:22:00.799 --> 00:22:02.720 Um, but yes, I've gone as an adult too. 00:22:02.880 --> 00:22:07.359 So I've gone like intermittently, and it was kind of like weaved in between those years. 00:22:07.519 --> 00:22:11.039 And then I started going again, like within the last like year or so. 00:22:11.440 --> 00:22:15.359 When you went previously, did you ever talk about your use with alcohol? 00:22:15.519 --> 00:22:16.160 Oh, I sure did. 00:22:16.319 --> 00:22:16.559 You did? 00:22:16.640 --> 00:22:17.119 That's awesome. 00:22:17.200 --> 00:22:18.079 So you were open about it. 00:22:18.319 --> 00:22:18.559 Yep. 00:22:18.640 --> 00:22:19.839 It was a couple years ago. 00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:27.279 So my husband is a saint, and a lot of our arguments would be stemmed from when I was drinking. 00:22:27.759 --> 00:22:33.200 Because, you know, I would have things that would bother me or come up, and you get liquid courage and you want to talk about them. 00:22:33.440 --> 00:22:36.960 Yeah, it just twinge into something, and you're like, Yeah, it turns in my mom, right? 00:22:37.599 --> 00:22:37.839 Exactly. 00:22:38.160 --> 00:22:38.720 Right, right, ma'am. 00:22:39.039 --> 00:22:39.279 Right. 00:22:39.440 --> 00:22:42.960 And like hindsight, he would never tell me what to do. 00:22:43.119 --> 00:22:46.400 You know, he dealt with addiction and, you know, recovered from it and everything. 00:22:46.640 --> 00:22:50.799 So he was the one who just like noticed how it was like affecting me. 00:22:50.880 --> 00:22:51.119 Yeah. 00:22:51.279 --> 00:22:54.720 And I think, like, out of care, was like, what are you doing? 00:22:54.880 --> 00:22:59.839 But in my mind, I'm like, you're not gonna control me and no one's gonna tell me what to do, and blah, blah, blah. 00:23:00.160 --> 00:23:00.960 Me being me. 00:23:01.119 --> 00:23:08.400 I researched the therapist and she had like trauma, addiction, and you know, other um, I think family stuff that she covered. 00:23:08.720 --> 00:23:09.440 Check, check, check, yeah. 00:23:09.519 --> 00:23:10.160 I was like, let's go. 00:23:10.319 --> 00:23:18.799 So when we got there, because um, you know, I basically just like laid it out on the table and I was like, he thinks that I drink too much, but I only have like a couple glasses of wine. 00:23:18.880 --> 00:23:22.319 Yeah, you know, and of course, she's not gonna like tell me it's good

or bad. 00:23:22.720 --> 00:23:23.279 That's not their job. 00:23:25.359 --> 00:23:25.759 Right. 00:23:26.000 --> 00:23:35.279 So I felt like that was before I was ready to address that it was like a problem, and I was still like grasping to like make other people realize she's fine. 00:23:35.759 --> 00:23:39.839 You know, your husband going through addiction, an addiction of his own. 00:23:40.079 --> 00:23:42.799 What was that like for your relationship? 00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:47.599 As did he see something, he saw an issue with your alcohol use? 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:48.640 Like, what was that like? 00:23:48.960 --> 00:23:51.759 He got sober right before he turned 21. 00:23:52.000 --> 00:23:52.480 Good for him. 00:23:52.799 --> 00:23:53.680 Yeah, it was really cool. 00:23:53.839 --> 00:23:56.559 That's when he went to um Florida from Pennsylvania. 00:23:56.640 --> 00:23:57.599 It was on True Life. 00:23:57.680 --> 00:23:58.319 It was really great. 00:23:58.559 --> 00:23:59.200 That's amazing. 00:23:59.440 --> 00:24:01.279 Yeah, he's it's really, really cool. 00:24:01.440 --> 00:24:02.480 I'm really proud of him. 00:24:02.559 --> 00:24:04.400 Um, and his was pills. 00:24:04.559 --> 00:24:07.039 He was a wrestler and had a knee injury and got addicted. 00:24:07.119 --> 00:24:07.279 Yeah. 00:24:07.440 --> 00:24:08.880 So he was never really a drinker. 00:24:08.960 --> 00:24:10.880 He would like drink like socially back then. 00:24:11.039 --> 00:24:11.359 Yeah. 00:24:11.599 --> 00:24:19.759 He was never judgmental of me drinking or like made me feel bad about it, like especially while we were younger, because I feel like that's what everybody was doing. 00:24:20.000 --> 00:24:20.319 Yeah. 00:24:20.559 --> 00:24:22.880 And like it was still more fun back then. 00:24:22.960 --> 00:24:26.640 Like, I don't think I was in the same head space as when it got bad. 00:24:27.039 --> 00:24:27.759 You know what I mean? 00:24:28.079 --> 00:24:29.599 And the behavior changed. 00:24:29.839 --> 00:24:36.160 So he was definitely supportive, um, but stern, if that makes sense. 00:24:36.400 --> 00:24:37.039 Yes, it does. 00:24:44.960 --> 00:24:47.599 This podcast is brought to you by recovery.com. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:53.599 Recovery.com is a place where anyone can find mental health or addiction treatment options specific to them. 00:24:54.079 --> 00:25:02.400 You can filter by location, price, insurance coverage, therapy type, mental health condition, levels of care, and so much more. 00:25:03.039 --> 00:25:08.799 Recovery.com is the best place to find mental health or addiction treatment for anyone, anywhere. 00:25:09.599 --> 00:25:27.599 So you had seen a therapist prior, wondering because, like, when COVID hits, when all of that horrible loss happens in your family, when your dad's not doing well, do you have any tools to grab on to other than like this is numbing me, this is what's gonna happen? 00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:37.039 It wasn't until probably I'm trying to remember the timeline, at least six months, almost a year after Pete had died, that I went to the therapist. 00:25:37.279 --> 00:25:43.839 Um and at that point, I think I was still just not wanting to admit that alcohol was like a problem yet. 00:25:44.240 --> 00:25:45.920 Alcohol's helping me with my problem. 00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:47.599 You need to help me with that problem. 00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:50.960 That's not exactly that we're just gonna do not look at. 00:25:51.200 --> 00:25:51.519 Yeah. 00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:53.920 Um, but I was like dying inside. 00:25:54.000 --> 00:25:57.599 Like I was just so depressed and sad and anxious. 00:25:57.759 --> 00:26:09.599 And, you know, you put on like a good face for like your family and your kids and all that kind of stuff, but I felt like I was like crumbling of like kind of sucks even more because then people think you're so strong and people don't like genuinely check in on you. 00:26:09.680 --> 00:26:13.519 No, and you're like, I need it the most right now, and I'm not gonna like tell you, right? 00:26:13.759 --> 00:26:14.799 But I'm like dying inside. 00:26:14.960 --> 00:26:15.200 Right. 00:26:15.359 --> 00:26:20.000 And it's not even that I like didn't want to share my feelings, I just felt like, how? 00:26:20.319 --> 00:26:21.279 Like, how do I say it? 00:26:21.440 --> 00:26:24.640 And like if I say that something's wrong, what's gonna happen? 00:26:24.799 --> 00:26:25.519 Yes, you know? 00:26:25.759 --> 00:26:27.680 Also, it kind of, I don't know about you. 00:26:27.759 --> 00:26:29.200 Sometimes I feel like a burden. 00:26:29.359 --> 00:26:32.480 I've been like really introspective for most of my life. 00:26:32.720 --> 00:26:36.400 I mean, what just telling you and dumping on you, what is that gonna do? 00:26:36.559 --> 00:26:39.920 It's gonna like burden you with something, and I don't think you can fix it. 00:26:40.000 --> 00:26:41.599 So why would I even tell you about it? 00:26:41.680 --> 00:26:43.680 I just have to like sit with it and fix it on my own. 00:26:43.920 --> 00:26:46.000 Right, which is like the worst way to look at it. 00:26:46.079 --> 00:26:47.119 And I'm the same way too. 00:26:47.200 --> 00:26:54.319 And I feel like as um moms and women and just in general, like we're fixers and we care for everyone all the time. 00:26:54.480 --> 00:27:00.559 And sometimes we need the care, but we're not we always, yes, that's sometimes we always need the care. 00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:03.200 And it's like we're the last ones to take care of ourselves. 00:27:03.359 --> 00:27:06.559 We will run for so long and we'll be like, why am I breaking down? 00:27:06.640 --> 00:27:10.480 Why am I breaking so it's like, girl, all the laundry for everyone else is done. 00:27:10.640 --> 00:27:13.759 Your house is beautiful, everybody's stuff is taken care of. 00:27:13.920 --> 00:27:16.000 You're the one breaking down, right? 00:27:16.160 --> 00:27:20.000 Like it's because all of this stuff

is like taken care of, but you're not taken care of. 00:27:20.240 --> 00:27:20.960 It's true, yeah. 00:27:21.119 --> 00:27:29.359 And I think like, I don't know if it's like society or social media or how this picture got painted, but like we're not meant to be okay all the time. 00:27:29.680 --> 00:27:34.720 And just because we're moms and women and all the things, and I'm so girl power, like we're strong. 00:27:34.880 --> 00:27:36.319 Sometimes we need to help. 00:27:36.480 --> 00:27:37.519 I'm soft too. 00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:39.839 Literally, I want to be I know. 00:27:40.000 --> 00:27:42.960 It's like, yeah, like I know, you're not alone. 00:27:43.200 --> 00:27:43.680 Same. 00:27:43.920 --> 00:27:47.039 I was built for the soft line, but I have to take care of people. 00:27:47.440 --> 00:27:48.079 Yeah, I know. 00:27:48.240 --> 00:27:48.559 I know. 00:27:48.640 --> 00:27:50.079 I I completely get that. 00:27:50.160 --> 00:27:52.160 And it's hard to get that reprieve as a mom. 00:27:52.240 --> 00:27:58.720 And I think that's why this like wine culture thing is so big because it's like, you know, we're not gonna get that rest. 00:27:58.799 --> 00:28:00.319 You might as well just glug glug glue. 00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:00.640 Right. 00:28:00.960 --> 00:28:01.279 Yeah. 00:28:01.680 --> 00:28:03.920 And it just like perpetuates itself in everything you see. 00:28:04.000 --> 00:28:05.680 They make it look fancy, they make it look fun. 00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:06.079 Yes. 00:28:06.400 --> 00:28:13.039 But there's not like the behind the scenes where that person's still like miserable because that thing isn't fixed. 00:28:13.279 --> 00:28:14.240 I say that all the time. 00:28:14.319 --> 00:28:17.759 And it's like, you know, like the beer commercials where everyone's at the beach and they're having fun. 00:28:17.920 --> 00:28:19.680 They've had 12 beers or whatever. 00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:20.000 Yeah. 00:28:20.319 --> 00:28:21.680 Jump past out behind the garbage. 00:28:21.920 --> 00:28:22.559 That's the real deal. 00:28:22.799 --> 00:28:23.359 That's the fun. 00:28:23.599 --> 00:28:24.319 Yeah, exactly. 00:28:25.200 --> 00:28:27.119 So you've got a lot of stuff going on. 00:28:27.200 --> 00:28:29.119 There's the mommy wine culture. 00:28:29.359 --> 00:28:38.480 You've seen a therapist, but it's to fix the the things that you feel are the actual problem, which can also be the problem. 00:28:38.960 --> 00:28:46.160 When is the moment where you're you decide or you get curious, like maybe, maybe I want to stop drinking? 00:28:46.480 --> 00:28:52.559 So probably right before I had my epic meltdown that sparked my whole sober. 00:28:53.039 --> 00:28:54.079 I love a mentib. 00:28:54.160 --> 00:28:55.039 Tell me about yours. 00:28:55.359 --> 00:28:57.359 Oh, it was it was a really good one. 00:28:57.599 --> 00:28:59.839 Um, okay, so probably a little bit before. 00:28:59.920 --> 00:29:02.000 So this is the beginning of 2023. 00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:04.240 And

we're just let back out of the cage. 00:29:04.480 --> 00:29:05.519 Everyone's a little wild. 00:29:05.759 --> 00:29:06.799 Yep, you know. 00:29:07.119 --> 00:29:13.680 And at that point, I was like, okay, I feel like I need to change something, but I'm not that bad. 00:29:13.759 --> 00:29:15.759 You know, I'm like rationalizing with myself. 00:29:16.079 --> 00:29:20.559 So I think I started following like sober influencers on Instagram, which is cool. 00:29:20.799 --> 00:29:24.480 And I'm like reading about it, and I'm like, okay, you know, that could be cool. 00:29:24.880 --> 00:29:27.200 So then we had a family wedding. 00:29:27.599 --> 00:29:29.200 It was black tie, very fancy. 00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:30.319 I'm a bridesmaid. 00:29:30.400 --> 00:29:30.559 Yep. 00:29:31.359 --> 00:29:31.920 So funny, okay. 00:29:32.079 --> 00:29:32.480 It was great. 00:29:32.640 --> 00:29:36.400 So it was my stepbrother, Alex, and his wife, Katie, who I love more than life. 00:29:36.559 --> 00:29:37.200 They're the best. 00:29:37.359 --> 00:29:39.200 And so we're so excited for this wedding. 00:29:39.279 --> 00:29:45.279 So there is a guest who is invited who um I had a very big falling out with. 00:29:45.599 --> 00:29:46.240 We don't like them? 00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:46.640 No. 00:29:46.880 --> 00:29:47.039 Okay. 00:29:47.920 --> 00:29:52.319 So I was already like trying to mentally prepare for her being there. 00:29:52.400 --> 00:29:52.880 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:29:53.200 --> 00:29:58.240 Which mentally preparing is like double fisting, like you get that conversation ready in your mind. 00:29:58.400 --> 00:29:58.480 Right. 00:29:58.880 --> 00:29:58.960 Yeah. 00:29:59.039 --> 00:29:59.359 Oh, yeah. 00:29:59.440 --> 00:30:01.920 I've rehearsed this for a year and a half, like what I'm gonna say. 00:30:02.160 --> 00:30:12.240 So, you know, we're on the dance floor, and I'm like holding my glass of wine, and I start screaming and yelling and acting like a total lunatic. 00:30:12.480 --> 00:30:16.240 And I did not say what I wanted to say. 00:30:16.319 --> 00:30:18.240 It came out in a very horrible way. 00:30:18.400 --> 00:30:18.720 Yeah. 00:30:18.880 --> 00:30:25.039 Um, she ended up leaving the wedding, and then I continued to be mean to my husband and my mom. 00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:26.720 It was not my best moment. 00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:27.519 It was horrible. 00:30:27.680 --> 00:30:32.240 So I woke up the next morning with like the worst anxiety you can ever think of. 00:30:33.279 --> 00:30:34.960 It's just like, oh shit. 00:30:35.119 --> 00:30:37.920 Like, I know this was someone find my rock that I have to go with. 00:30:38.400 --> 00:30:40.640 Literally, I was ready to like crawl like on the floor. 00:30:40.799 --> 00:30:44.000 So Katie, the bride, um, actually called me to see if I was okay. 00:30:44.160 --> 00:30:48.319 Um, luckily, I didn't destroy her wedding and Katie sounds really nice to check in on you. 00:30:48.960 --> 00:30:49.279 I know. 00:30:49.440 --> 00:30:58.720 And I honestly just felt so bad because I couldn't set aside my own feelings and have like the emotional regulation to deal with it. 00:30:58.799 --> 00:31:00.480 And I just didn't want to ruin their day. 00:31:00.559 --> 00:31:01.759 Like it wasn't about me. 00:31:01.920 --> 00:31:04.799 But luckily, the wedding still went on and it was okay. 00:31:05.119 --> 00:31:08.319 But that day, I mean, I had like a full-on like meltdown. 00:31:08.400 --> 00:31:12.480 I was like hysterically crying, just like bawling, shaking, like on my floor. 00:31:12.720 --> 00:31:17.039 And I I don't know if it's God, universe, divine, whatever you believe in. 00:31:17.279 --> 00:31:19.920 I heard a voice and it was like, what are you doing? 00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:22.000 You're ruining your entire life. 00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:27.599 And at that point, I was like, okay, like there's no one left to put blame on but me. 00:31:27.680 --> 00:31:27.839 Yeah. 00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:28.880 Me and alcohol. 00:31:28.960 --> 00:31:30.480 Like, we're in this together. 00:31:30.720 --> 00:31:33.839 And I was like, I think I'm gonna not drink for a week. 00:31:34.160 --> 00:31:35.599 And that was scary. 00:31:35.680 --> 00:31:35.839 Yeah. 00:31:36.000 --> 00:31:38.240 Like at the time to say, like, I'm not gonna drink for a week. 00:31:38.400 --> 00:31:42.240 Because you don't want to disappoint yourself and then be like, oh shit, is there a problem? 00:31:42.640 --> 00:31:42.799 Right. 00:31:42.960 --> 00:31:43.039 Yeah. 00:31:43.200 --> 00:31:43.839 So then I did it. 00:31:44.160 --> 00:31:46.319 As if that was gonna declare the problem. 00:31:46.559 --> 00:31:47.279 Obviously. 00:31:47.519 --> 00:31:48.160 I know. 00:31:48.400 --> 00:31:49.839 So I did it for a week. 00:31:49.920 --> 00:31:52.400 And then I was like, oh my God, I feel good. 00:31:52.559 --> 00:31:54.160 Like, I don't feel like shit every day. 00:31:54.240 --> 00:31:55.119 I'm sleeping better. 00:31:55.200 --> 00:31:57.440 And then I'm like, I wonder if I can do like one more week. 00:31:57.680 --> 00:31:59.119 And then I did another week. 00:31:59.359 --> 00:32:03.920 And then my birthday party was like two weeks after the wedding that I'd already planned. 00:32:04.079 --> 00:32:07.279 And at that point, I wasn't really like telling anyone that I wasn't drinking. 00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:07.680 Yeah. 00:32:07.920 --> 00:32:12.640 So I I honestly didn't want to like weird out my friends and family like more, and I wasn't ready yet. 00:32:12.960 --> 00:32:13.519 Done the same thing. 00:32:13.599 --> 00:32:13.759 Yeah. 00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:15.119 I'll launch it when I want to. 00:32:15.279 --> 00:32:15.599 Right. 00:32:15.759 --> 00:32:19.920 So I showed up to my birthday party with like a Stanley Cup, and everyone's like, Oh, can I buy you a drink? 00:32:20.000 --> 00:32:21.039 I'm like, I have one, I'm good. 00:32:21.359 --> 00:32:22.079 Like, what are you drinking? 00:32:22.160 -->

00:32:23.200 And I'm like, vodka Red Bull. 00:32:23.359 --> 00:32:24.160 They're like, You don't drink that. 00:32:25.920 --> 00:32:26.240 I know. 00:32:26.400 --> 00:32:34.160 So I made it through the birthday party, but once I got to 30 days and I just felt like so good, I was like, I think I'm gonna post something about it. 00:32:34.799 --> 00:32:39.200 Um, and I was so scared just because I was like, what if I drink again? 00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:42.400 Yeah, you know, and what if people make fun of me or whatever. 00:32:42.880 --> 00:32:45.599 Or the millions of the possibilities that people could think. 00:32:46.079 --> 00:32:46.400 I know. 00:32:46.559 --> 00:32:50.559 So I just kind of like wrote out my thoughts and like how I felt. 00:32:50.640 --> 00:32:53.279 And I was like, you know, I did it, thank you, for a month. 00:32:53.440 --> 00:32:57.440 And um, I'm not saying it's a forever thing, but I just feel so great. 00:32:57.519 --> 00:33:00.480 And I just wanted to tell everyone, like, you can do it if I can do it. 00:33:00.559 --> 00:33:00.880 Yeah. 00:33:01.119 --> 00:33:06.480 And I got flooded with messages from tons of people, like some people I knew, some that I didn't. 00:33:06.559 --> 00:33:07.759 And they're like, what are you doing? 00:33:07.839 --> 00:33:08.559 That's so great. 00:33:08.640 --> 00:33:09.680 I'm in the same boat. 00:33:09.839 --> 00:33:12.480 And at that point, I'm like, I don't know, I'm just like not drinking. 00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:12.960 Yeah. 00:33:13.119 --> 00:33:16.480 Um, and that's how the sober curious society idea started. 00:33:16.720 --> 00:33:16.960 Yes. 00:33:17.119 --> 00:33:18.400 Okay, tell us all about it. 00:33:18.559 --> 00:33:23.119 So I want to know like how like how people can be a part of it. 00:33:23.279 --> 00:33:24.240 What do you offer there? 00:33:24.319 --> 00:33:26.880 Because I love the idea of sober curious. 00:33:27.200 --> 00:33:31.200 I think the idea of just sober. 00:33:31.359 --> 00:33:32.400 I'm I'm sober. 00:33:32.480 --> 00:33:36.400 I I like just cut dry might be a lot for people. 00:33:36.559 --> 00:33:41.519 And there are so many people that are curious about sobriety, but like, where do you start? 00:33:41.680 --> 00:33:52.319 How who do I reach out to without them thinking, like, maybe I think I have a problem wherever I am in my thought process of this, it seems like you have created such an amazing community and space for people to go to. 00:33:52.559 --> 00:33:52.880 Thank you. 00:33:53.119 --> 00:33:53.440 Yes. 00:33:53.599 --> 00:34:06.799 Um, I feel like I was basically trying to build community with people like me because we were almost like the gray area of addiction and substance abuse where it's not a healthy relationship. 00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:07.119 Yeah. 00:34:07.359 --> 00:34:10.320 Our entire life hasn't fallen apart yet. 00:34:10.559 --> 00:34:10.800 Right. 00:34:10.960 --> 00:34:13.760 But if you continue on the path that you're on, right. 00:34:14.000 --> 00:34:17.519 So um the Sober Curious Society is geared towards women. 00:34:17.920 --> 00:34:20.880 Um, it started as a 30-day self-led program. 00:34:21.039 --> 00:34:24.800 It's a digital course, and then you're added to a community, which is really cool. 00:34:24.960 --> 00:34:29.760 But it basically just deep dives into like, why are we doing what we're doing? 00:34:30.079 --> 00:34:33.119 Like, what got us to the point to spark curiosity? 00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:33.519 Yeah. 00:34:33.679 --> 00:34:36.719 Um, because something did, which is great in exploring it. 00:34:36.800 --> 00:34:41.039 And then I am such a nerd and like love learning the science behind alcohol. 00:34:41.280 --> 00:34:41.599 Awesome. 00:34:41.679 --> 00:34:41.840 Cool. 00:34:42.079 --> 00:34:44.000 I was because I'm like, oh my God, poor me. 00:34:44.079 --> 00:34:44.639 I'm the only one. 00:34:44.719 --> 00:34:45.440 No, it's science. 00:34:45.519 --> 00:34:53.119 Like it literally affects like your brain, and this is what it does to your gut, your mental health, your sleep, um, my anxiety, all of that. 00:34:53.280 --> 00:34:55.679 So that's um a module in it too. 00:34:55.840 --> 00:34:58.639 And then mocktails are so fun. 00:34:59.039 --> 00:34:59.119 Yeah. 00:35:08.079 --> 00:35:09.360 Without the alcohol, too. 00:35:09.599 --> 00:35:09.840 Yeah. 00:35:10.079 --> 00:35:12.559 So you've been sober for how long now? 00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:13.760 Two and a half years. 00:35:13.920 --> 00:35:19.280 Okay, so that first, like, I'm just not gonna do it, that that worked. 00:35:19.440 --> 00:35:21.760 And you hit your 30 days, you share it. 00:35:22.000 --> 00:35:25.519 Are there times then where you do start doubting yourself? 00:35:25.840 --> 00:35:25.920 Yeah. 00:35:26.079 --> 00:35:28.480 How did you how did you maintain your sobriety? 00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:32.480 So um, there were two times that I can remember. 00:35:32.719 --> 00:35:38.079 The first time, it's very random, but we were having a birthday party for my son at my mom's house. 00:35:38.159 --> 00:35:41.440 And I think I was maybe like three or four months sober at that point. 00:35:41.599 --> 00:35:44.800 And I text Adam and I was like, I think I'm just gonna grab like some white claws. 00:35:44.960 --> 00:35:45.840 And he's like, What? 00:35:46.000 --> 00:35:46.239 Yeah. 00:35:46.400 --> 00:35:48.000 And I was just like, uh, I don't know. 00:35:48.079 --> 00:35:49.679 And then I didn't do it. 00:35:50.079 --> 00:35:55.519 And if he wouldn't, which this is why I love him, he's one of the only people that will tell me what's up. 00:35:55.599 --> 00:35:56.239 You know what I mean? 00:35:56.400 --> 00:35:58.239 Like you're being dumb, like you don't need to do that. 00:35:58.480 --> 00:35:59.440 So that was one time. 00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:03.519 And then the other time, we literally had a camper burned down in our backyard. 00:36:03.679 --> 00:36:07.039 Yeah, there was a camper fire, and it

was just so stressful. 00:36:07.199 --> 00:36:08.239 Thank God nobody got hurt. 00:36:08.400 --> 00:36:08.800 Oh my gosh. 00:36:08.960 --> 00:36:09.199 Yeah. 00:36:09.360 --> 00:36:12.239 And at that point, I was like, I really want to have a drink. 00:36:12.320 --> 00:36:12.559 Uh-huh. 00:36:12.800 --> 00:36:15.280 And I actually called one of my friends who is sober. 00:36:15.760 --> 00:36:17.760 So I think having support. 00:36:17.840 --> 00:36:22.159 So Adam was support the first time, even though I didn't realize I was like reaching out for it. 00:36:22.639 --> 00:36:24.719 And then my friend Kelly was the second one. 00:36:24.800 --> 00:36:26.880 And she was like, You don't need to do that. 00:36:27.039 --> 00:36:28.079 Get up, take a walk. 00:36:28.320 --> 00:36:32.880 And that's when I kind of learned how fast like a craving will actually pass. 00:36:33.119 --> 00:36:36.480 And if you get up and like move, yeah, movement helps me so much. 00:36:36.719 --> 00:36:36.880 Yeah. 00:36:36.960 --> 00:36:38.000 What are some other things? 00:36:38.239 --> 00:36:39.199 I also agree. 00:36:39.360 --> 00:36:40.320 Movement's amazing. 00:36:40.400 --> 00:36:45.280 Uh, that started for me during the pandemic when I was like, my anxiety and depression's getting really, really bad. 00:36:45.440 --> 00:36:48.639 I was in a two-bedroom apartment with my fiance and my daughter. 00:36:48.719 --> 00:36:50.079 And I'm just like, I'm gonna explode. 00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:51.679 And I would go on my murder walks. 00:36:51.760 --> 00:36:52.079 I love that. 00:36:52.320 --> 00:36:56.400 I would put on two episodes of Dateline and a podcast and just go back to the jet. 00:36:56.639 --> 00:36:57.920 I'm gonna do a murder walk when I get back. 00:36:58.079 --> 00:36:58.480 You should do it. 00:36:58.639 --> 00:36:58.960 That's fun. 00:36:59.119 --> 00:37:02.079 And it ended up being like two hours, and I'll go further and further. 00:37:02.239 --> 00:37:03.519 And it just felt so good. 00:37:03.599 --> 00:37:09.599 And at the end, a lot of things that I was stressing about, worrying about, craving were just like not there anymore. 00:37:09.679 --> 00:37:12.159 And I felt like a completely different person afterwards. 00:37:12.320 --> 00:37:13.119 Yeah, you really do. 00:37:13.280 --> 00:37:14.159 Movement's huge. 00:37:14.320 --> 00:37:16.800 Um, I'm trying to get more into meditating. 00:37:17.039 --> 00:37:20.320 Um, I am such like a busy, like go, go, go person. 00:37:20.400 --> 00:37:27.840 And I feel like when you just have to like sit with yourself and your thoughts sometimes, meditating has helped a lot in talking to somebody too. 00:37:28.239 --> 00:37:34.800 I think that's one of the biggest things is like when you're internalizing it and I don't know, trying to talk yourself off the ledge. 00:37:35.119 --> 00:37:50.719 If you can just release it, whether it's like writing it down or calling someone or texting someone, or if you're part of our community, that's what I I think the community aspect is so beautiful because there's women and people from all over the world who are going through the same thing that you are. 00:37:50.960 --> 00:37:55.039 And we can talk to each other, which is well, because everybody feels like it's so isolated. 00:37:55.199 --> 00:37:55.360 Yeah. 00:37:55.599 --> 00:37:56.639 I don't know how to get help. 00:37:56.719 --> 00:37:58.480 I'm the only one that's dealing with this. 00:37:58.639 --> 00:37:58.960 Yes. 00:37:59.199 --> 00:38:08.000 But if you shake that like doubt feeling off and share it a little bit, so many people like with you are gonna open up and say, No, I'm dealing with the exact same thing. 00:38:08.159 --> 00:38:08.320 Right. 00:38:08.480 --> 00:38:09.760 They're gonna look to you for help. 00:38:09.920 --> 00:38:11.280 You guys can help each other out. 00:38:11.360 --> 00:38:13.039 Like that's what this whole community's about. 00:38:13.440 --> 00:38:26.400 Because I feel like these evil little things like addiction and depression and mental health issues, they tell us that like being by yourself and keeping this to yourself is is how it's supposed to be, but it's not it. 00:38:26.559 --> 00:38:33.119 Like healing comes when you share all of this stuff and people are able to connect with you, and that's how you get help too. 00:38:33.360 --> 00:38:33.599 Yeah. 00:38:33.760 --> 00:38:41.519 And I think you hit the nail on the head, it's like we're like programmed to not talk about it, which I I don't know why it's like that. 00:38:41.679 --> 00:38:51.599 And I think as a kid too, I've always like felt things like so deeply, and I really like care about people, and I just want everyone to feel like seen and you know what I mean? 00:38:51.840 --> 00:38:52.800 Yes, and it's overwhelming. 00:38:52.960 --> 00:38:55.599 And I feel like that's why sometimes I feel like that was the thing. 00:38:55.679 --> 00:39:01.599 I was like, I am feeling too much, and it feels like the world is burning and I can't stop it. 00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:05.519 And like you said, it was like we do have to just like pick the things that we can control. 00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:06.000 Right. 00:39:06.159 --> 00:39:08.960 Cause the way I could spiral over gosh. 00:39:09.199 --> 00:39:10.159 I know it's sneaky. 00:39:10.320 --> 00:39:12.159 Everything's scary, everything's poison. 00:39:12.400 --> 00:39:12.639 I know. 00:39:13.039 --> 00:39:13.840 I can't breathe. 00:39:14.320 --> 00:39:15.199 You're not alone. 00:39:16.400 --> 00:39:22.239 Um, transitioning from sober curious to fully alcohol free is a really big leap. 00:39:22.480 --> 00:39:24.639 What helped you make that shift? 00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:27.039 Honestly, just time, I think. 00:39:27.119 --> 00:39:27.360 Yeah. 00:39:27.519 --> 00:39:35.440 Um, the more I removed it from my life and the better my life continued to get, it didn't make sense to me anymore. 00:39:35.599 --> 00:39:36.000 Yeah. 00:39:36.159 --> 00:39:38.480

Um, I just don't, I don't know. 00:39:38.639 --> 00:39:43.199 You'll talk to so many people who are sober, and I've heard everyone say the same thing, but it's so true. 00:39:43.360 --> 00:39:47.440 I've never woken up one day of choosing to not drink and regretted it ever. 00:39:47.760 --> 00:39:47.920 Yeah. 00:39:48.079 --> 00:39:54.960 Where like all the nights where I've overdrank or made promises to myself that I wasn't going to, and then I did, and you just feel so terrible. 00:39:55.360 --> 00:39:57.599 So I'm such like a literal person. 00:39:57.760 --> 00:40:02.079 So seeing my life progressively get so much better, like in every aspect. 00:40:02.239 --> 00:40:02.480 Yes. 00:40:02.639 --> 00:40:04.000 I was like, why would I do this again? 00:40:04.400 --> 00:40:05.760 I take myself 20 steps back. 00:40:05.920 --> 00:40:06.159 No. 00:40:06.320 --> 00:40:06.639 Yeah. 00:40:06.800 --> 00:40:08.000 And like, I don't know. 00:40:08.159 --> 00:40:12.320 It was really funny because at first I'm like, well, if I'm not drinking alcohol, like I need to have something. 00:40:12.559 --> 00:40:13.199 Oh my gosh. 00:40:13.440 --> 00:40:13.519 Yeah. 00:40:13.840 --> 00:40:14.320 Literally. 00:40:14.480 --> 00:40:14.880 I know. 00:40:15.039 --> 00:40:20.800 So I would drink like, which I mean, it's not a one-size-fits-all, but like stuff with like THC. 00:40:20.960 --> 00:40:23.599 Everything made me feel weird and I just didn't really enjoy it. 00:40:23.760 --> 00:40:25.920 So I was like, why am I trying like all this stuff? 00:40:26.000 --> 00:40:29.920 When like Why am I trying to like substitute a thing when it's just like I don't really need the thing? 00:40:30.079 --> 00:40:32.320 I love Diet Coke and like water. 00:40:32.719 --> 00:40:35.039 Sobriety can change relationships. 00:40:35.360 --> 00:40:43.039 So, how did your decision to stop drinking affect personal relationships, professional relationships, romantic relationships? 00:40:43.360 --> 00:40:45.360 I don't think people really knew what to think of it. 00:40:45.679 --> 00:40:49.360 Um, just because I don't think anyone thought that I would stick with it. 00:40:49.599 --> 00:40:56.239 And not that, not in a mean way, but I think that a lot of people thought that it was like just a phase kind of like a dry January. 00:40:56.639 --> 00:40:56.960 Exactly. 00:40:57.280 --> 00:40:57.519 Yeah. 00:40:57.679 --> 00:41:03.679 It was really interesting to me because I felt like certain friend groups that I thought I would still be friends with. 00:41:03.840 --> 00:41:08.719 Not that we're not friends, but we didn't have a lot in common once alcohol was removed. 00:41:09.840 --> 00:41:11.039 Which it is what it is. 00:41:11.280 --> 00:41:14.639 And, you know, I'm a very, you need to do what's best for you, and vice versa. 00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:16.960 So like you do you, you know what I mean? 00:41:17.119 --> 00:41:18.719 Um, but that was kind of interesting. 00:41:18.880 --> 00:41:22.480 And I feel like with my marriage, um, it was work. 00:41:22.719 --> 00:41:30.159 Like, you know, even though it was a good thing with removing the alcohol, I feel like it like lifted this like cloudy, like foggy veil. 00:41:30.320 --> 00:41:30.719 Yeah, yeah. 00:41:31.039 --> 00:41:40.320 Where a lot of things that like I just wasn't really paying attention to because I'd be like drinking at night, I was like, that's bothering me, or like maybe that's something that could like improve. 00:41:40.480 --> 00:41:40.639 Yeah. 00:41:40.880 --> 00:41:44.559 And it wasn't like the liquid courage of me being like, you need to do blah, blah, blah. 00:41:44.719 --> 00:41:46.400 Whereas a betterment of things. 00:41:46.559 --> 00:41:46.800 Yes. 00:41:46.960 --> 00:41:47.280 Yes. 00:41:47.440 --> 00:41:47.760 Yeah. 00:41:47.920 --> 00:41:49.920 So that was kind of like interesting too. 00:41:50.079 --> 00:41:53.760 But once we kind of like sifted through, you know, resentment too. 00:41:53.840 --> 00:41:58.480 Like, there's a lot of resentment um that my husband had, and like rightfully so. 00:41:58.639 --> 00:42:00.239 And me too, for certain things. 00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:07.199 So I think once we went back to therapy and pretty much like hashed out what went down, we're in such a better place. 00:42:07.360 --> 00:42:07.920 Oh, that's awesome. 00:42:08.000 --> 00:42:08.559 Yeah, which is great. 00:42:08.800 --> 00:42:10.320 And how's your career going with this? 00:42:10.480 --> 00:42:11.599 Then it's really good. 00:42:11.760 --> 00:42:12.400 I love that. 00:42:12.559 --> 00:42:15.679 Um, I uh have to like pinch myself sometimes. 00:42:16.320 --> 00:42:18.480 Yeah, I'm very just like grateful. 00:42:18.639 --> 00:42:21.440 I think gratitude is just, I don't know, it's huge. 00:42:21.599 --> 00:42:23.360 Um, I don't want to cry. 00:42:23.519 --> 00:42:24.719 You can cry, seriously. 00:42:24.800 --> 00:42:25.519 I'm happy for you. 00:42:25.679 --> 00:42:26.159 I know, you can't do it. 00:42:26.320 --> 00:42:27.119 Like it's amazing. 00:42:27.280 --> 00:42:34.559 I think being able to just like look at like what was happening before, and we can feel like that's it. 00:42:34.639 --> 00:42:38.639 Like this is how it is, and it kind of just sucks, but I don't know what else to do. 00:42:38.800 --> 00:42:38.880 Right. 00:42:39.039 --> 00:42:42.800 And then to see where you're at now, and you're just like, I didn't even know I could have this stuff. 00:42:43.119 --> 00:42:44.880 Like I didn't know it could be this good. 00:42:45.119 --> 00:42:45.280 Right. 00:42:45.519 --> 00:42:47.519 Like that's magical, and I want to cry for you. 00:42:47.760 --> 00:42:48.079 Thank you. 00:42:48.480 --> 00:42:48.639 Beautiful. 00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:49.599 It's really cool. 00:42:49.679 --> 00:42:53.039 And I think um, I'm still a hairstylist and still work behind the chair too. 00:42:53.119 --> 00:43:01.280 And I think once I did start just sharing my story, we have such a special

like job that we get to like connect with people on that level. 00:43:02.639 --> 00:43:03.519 You are therapists. 00:43:03.599 --> 00:43:04.480 Yeah, yes, yes. 00:43:04.719 --> 00:43:05.039 We are. 00:43:05.119 --> 00:43:15.039 I always joke, and like it's just so beautiful because I feel like just talking about like my story and sharing my story, it's opened so many doors and just help people. 00:43:15.199 --> 00:43:16.480 Yeah, yeah, which is so cool. 00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:21.039 That is if you would have told me two and a half years ago, I'd be talking about not drinking on a podcast. 00:43:21.199 --> 00:43:22.480 I'd been like, You have three heads. 00:43:22.639 --> 00:43:22.880 Right. 00:43:23.119 --> 00:43:26.400 So, like, it's just really amazing that like this is where I'm at. 00:43:26.719 --> 00:43:31.440 What are some of the things that have changed in your life, whether it's like health relationships? 00:43:31.760 --> 00:43:37.599 List off some things that you think have changed for the better since becoming sober. 00:43:38.000 --> 00:43:42.480 One of the big ones I would say is just the calm. 00:43:42.719 --> 00:43:47.440 Like, I feel like I was always so anxious and I didn't realize it. 00:43:47.599 --> 00:43:50.559 Um, so just having more peace has been huge. 00:43:50.880 --> 00:43:52.639 Um, my patience is a lot better. 00:43:52.880 --> 00:43:53.360 Oh my gosh. 00:43:53.599 --> 00:43:55.679 I'm trying, I'm not perfect, but I'm trying. 00:43:55.920 --> 00:43:59.679 Um, and I'm really just trying to work on like meeting people where they're at. 00:44:00.880 --> 00:44:10.559 And just because you know, you expect certain people to like respond or act a certain way, yeah, just like calming down a little bit with it, which is good. 00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:10.960 Yeah. 00:44:11.440 --> 00:44:18.480 So running sober curious society, what like what gave you that push to start that? 00:44:18.639 --> 00:44:25.440 What because I feel like sometimes it's like there's a while where people are kind of like the shame of things are holding me back from doing things. 00:44:25.599 --> 00:44:27.760 But what gave you the push to start that? 00:44:28.079 --> 00:44:30.559 So one of my mentors, her name's Jamie C. 00:44:31.360 --> 00:44:35.039 Um, she was in the hair world and made a pivot. 00:44:35.119 --> 00:44:36.719 So she has a coaching business now. 00:44:36.800 --> 00:44:39.199 And I kept seeing her Instagram with coaching stuff. 00:44:39.280 --> 00:44:45.039 And it basically she has um a plan, it's called the CEO Club, and it teaches you how to build a course. 00:44:45.440 --> 00:44:51.119 So I had started just talking on my Instagram about sobriety and just the feedback that I was getting from people. 00:44:51.360 --> 00:44:53.280 I was like, there's something to this. 00:44:53.440 --> 00:44:53.679 Right. 00:44:53.840 --> 00:44:59.760 And I hadn't really seen anything that was like like that, where it was like more sober curious. 00:45:00.000 -->

00:45:05.199 Um, because at the end of the course, I basically leave it open-ended to the student. 00:45:05.280 --> 00:45:08.960 And it's like, okay, we're gonna recap all the benefits of the last 30 days. 00:45:09.119 --> 00:45:10.559 How do you want to move forward with it? 00:45:10.719 --> 00:45:10.960 Yeah. 00:45:11.199 --> 00:45:12.800 Like letting people choose their path. 00:45:12.960 --> 00:45:16.800 Is there an expectation of sobriety when somebody chooses to do this? 00:45:17.119 --> 00:45:17.440 No. 00:45:17.840 --> 00:45:24.559 Um, and that's what I really love about it is it takes like the, I don't know, stigma off of it. 00:45:24.880 --> 00:45:36.000 That's I'm really happy you said that because when I was uh listening to an earlier interview of yours today, I was like, this woman is just removing the stigma in such a beautiful way. 00:45:36.320 --> 00:45:39.599 Because I feel like some people are like, how am I supposed to look into this? 00:45:39.679 --> 00:45:42.559 And how am I supposed to like uh get or cover? 00:45:42.880 --> 00:45:46.880 Like, I don't need residential, but I'm very interested in learning. 00:45:46.960 --> 00:45:49.119 And I don't know if I want to be sober right now. 00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:55.760 But like, this is this you are covering this gray area, this huge gray area of people that just want to learn more. 00:45:56.159 --> 00:46:02.159 Just want to educate themselves because I feel like education is how people like can better themselves in every single aspect. 00:46:02.320 --> 00:46:09.599 You can make an informed decision for yourself when you are educated on the thing that you are worried about, that you're interested in in every single way. 00:46:09.679 --> 00:46:20.719 So this is providing that like that resource, that community, that like peace that a lot of people need that just want to know more so they can make an informed and better decision about their own lives. 00:46:21.039 --> 00:46:22.719 That you hit the nail on the head too. 00:46:22.800 --> 00:46:25.360 And like, it's just not a one size fits all. 00:46:25.440 --> 00:46:31.360 I feel like for everybody, I've chosen to stay sober, but that doesn't mean that someone else has to. 00:46:31.519 --> 00:46:42.320 If you're to the point where you know that it's not serving you and you're wanting to reevaluate your relationship with it, yeah, you need to figure out like what is a missing piece for you. 00:46:42.480 --> 00:46:42.719 Yeah. 00:46:42.880 --> 00:46:46.559 And what's gonna make you feel good and like serve you the best. 00:46:46.800 --> 00:46:55.760 I'm coming out with um basically like a mini course because the original one that I launched is a 30-day, which might be intimidating still for some people. 00:46:55.840 --> 00:46:58.320 So I'm gonna do like an intro, like a starter kit. 00:46:58.559 --> 00:46:59.039 I love that. 00:46:59.199 --> 00:46:59.599 Thank you. 00:46:59.760 --> 00:47:00.719 I just started working on it. 00:47:00.800

--> 00:47:01.360 I'm excited. 00:47:01.519 --> 00:47:07.519 So I think for people who like want to get their feet wet, but they're not ready to commit to 30 days, it would be like a great intro. 00:47:09.280 --> 00:47:09.440 Yeah. 00:47:09.679 --> 00:47:10.239 That's exciting. 00:47:10.480 --> 00:47:10.880 Thanks. 00:47:11.039 --> 00:47:18.079 Um, so looking back, what feels the most different about life alcohol-free and previous years? 00:47:18.480 --> 00:47:21.360 I just feel like myself. 00:47:21.599 --> 00:47:30.639 Um, I didn't really know, to be honest, who I was without alcohol because I drank for decades, like consistently for decades, aside from being pregnant. 00:47:30.960 --> 00:47:34.400 But I just am really loving getting to know like who I am. 00:47:34.639 --> 00:47:36.960 In like a clear state of mind, like what do I like? 00:47:37.119 --> 00:47:37.360 Yeah. 00:47:37.599 --> 00:47:38.559 What do I really like? 00:47:38.800 --> 00:47:39.039 Right. 00:47:39.119 --> 00:47:39.360 Yeah. 00:47:39.519 --> 00:47:41.679 And I getting to know yourself is such a beautiful thing. 00:47:41.840 --> 00:47:42.639 It actually really is. 00:47:42.719 --> 00:47:46.639 And it sounds so cheesy, but like it's just relearning like me. 00:47:46.800 --> 00:47:50.320 And like I just really love to like help people. 00:47:50.559 --> 00:47:56.239 And I love, you know, my family and just showing my kids like what's possible too is huge. 00:47:56.559 --> 00:48:03.599 I think also getting to know yourself in a clear head maybe makes you appreciate yourself more on like all the beautiful aspects of yourself. 00:48:03.840 --> 00:48:04.480 It really does. 00:48:04.639 --> 00:48:11.920 And I think like when I was on like the hamster wheel of just like drinking and like the self-deprecating thoughts and stuff like that, I was so hard on myself. 00:48:12.000 --> 00:48:15.119 And I was like beating myself up mentally, like every single day. 00:48:15.280 --> 00:48:18.239 Yeah, you feel like you're the worst, but you're not worth doing anything better. 00:48:18.400 --> 00:48:18.719 Right. 00:48:18.800 --> 00:48:20.000 And that's just how it was. 00:48:20.079 --> 00:48:25.679 And I think now, like, I love myself and like I really I think that I deserve love. 00:48:25.920 --> 00:48:27.039 You do, yes. 00:48:27.199 --> 00:48:28.320 You deserve all of this. 00:48:28.880 --> 00:48:29.280 Thank you. 00:48:29.599 --> 00:48:30.079 Thank you. 00:48:30.320 --> 00:48:30.880 I know. 00:48:31.840 --> 00:48:38.239 What is the biggest thing that surprised you in sobriety that you did not think that you would have? 00:48:38.559 --> 00:48:46.639 I think the biggest thing would be that I'm capable of doing a lot more than I thought that I was. 00:48:46.800 --> 00:48:47.039 Yeah. 00:48:47.280 --> 00:48:55.199 Um, not just like professionally, but just like as a person and like how I can leave the world, if that makes sense. 00:48:55.440 --> 00:48:56.000 I love it. 00:48:56.079 --> 00:48:57.199 You're like, I can do this. 00:48:57.360 --> 00:48:57.519 Yeah. 00:48:57.760 --> 00:48:59.199 I don't doubt myself as much. 00:48:59.519 --> 00:49:05.920 No, it sounds so like cliche, but once I was like, if I can quit drinking, I can do anything. 00:49:06.159 --> 00:49:07.360 And like I really believe it. 00:49:07.440 --> 00:49:07.519 Yes. 00:49:07.679 --> 00:49:09.199 Like I'm delulu about it. 00:49:09.280 --> 00:49:11.039 It's why the best type of Delulu. 00:49:11.280 --> 00:49:12.079 The best type, yeah. 00:49:12.159 --> 00:49:15.920 But I was like, yeah, if I can do this and stick with it, I don't think there's anything. 00:49:16.239 --> 00:49:17.840 Okay, people like, how Dululu are you? 00:49:17.920 --> 00:49:19.119 Because you are sober though. 00:49:19.280 --> 00:49:20.000 So I know. 00:49:20.719 --> 00:49:22.639 I can't real. 00:49:23.199 --> 00:49:32.239 So if someone is sober curious, but scared to start, what is the first step you would tell them to take, other than um getting this intro class that you're about to take? 00:49:32.480 --> 00:49:32.719 Thank you. 00:49:32.800 --> 00:49:33.440 You're so sweet. 00:49:33.679 --> 00:49:39.039 Um, I would just have them just sit down and write out five things. 00:49:39.280 --> 00:49:41.360 Like, why are you where you're at? 00:49:41.760 --> 00:49:44.800 Like what brought you to the point of being sober curious? 00:49:44.960 --> 00:49:45.199 Yeah. 00:49:45.440 --> 00:49:48.400 Write it down and start from the smallest one. 00:49:48.639 --> 00:49:54.480 And, you know, it's usually situational things or things about yourself that you want to change and just start from the bottom. 00:49:54.639 --> 00:49:55.039 I love that. 00:49:55.199 --> 00:49:56.480 And like slowly chip away. 00:49:56.639 --> 00:49:59.599 Yeah, it doesn't have to be this huge thing right away. 00:49:59.760 --> 00:50:00.000 No. 00:50:00.239 --> 00:50:01.840 You can like analyze it and look at it. 00:50:01.920 --> 00:50:06.000 You can take it piece by piece instead of getting overwhelmed with this huge picture of uh. 00:50:07.039 --> 00:50:14.880 I compare it to like if you've ever tried to make like um food changes, like healthy eating and working out, and all I've tried to do all of it at the same time, and I'm like, this is for the birds. 00:50:15.039 --> 00:50:18.159 Yeah, that's my ADHD when I'm like, we gotta change everything, all of it right now. 00:50:18.639 --> 00:50:24.400 I do this now, and then I do that for a week and like I can't eat only spinach and orange juice, I'm not dying. 00:50:24.800 --> 00:50:25.039 Same. 00:50:25.119 --> 00:50:25.840 It's too much. 00:50:26.079 --> 00:50:30.400 Start small and then reach out to somebody who can support you in it. 00:50:30.639 --> 00:50:31.280 Yeah, support. 00:50:31.440 --> 00:50:32.079 Yeah, support. 00:50:32.320 --> 00:50:32.960 It's huge. 00:50:33.280 --> 00:50:38.239 So imagine it's 2 a.m., someone's searching for help. 00:50:38.480 --> 00:50:39.760

What would you say to them? 00:50:40.079 --> 00:50:41.920 You're not alone and it gets better. 00:50:42.159 --> 00:50:47.599 And just because you're in whatever headspace you're in right now, it always gets better. 00:50:48.079 --> 00:50:49.599 It does, I promise. 00:50:49.840 --> 00:50:51.519 I can see it does get better. 00:50:51.760 --> 00:50:52.079 It does. 00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:55.920 It's every single person like I get to talk to, it gets so much better. 00:50:56.000 --> 00:50:59.920 And it's such a beautiful better, a fulfilling, wonderful better. 00:51:00.239 --> 00:51:01.840 Um, gosh, thank you so much. 00:51:02.000 --> 00:51:04.480 I I have loved hearing your story. 00:51:04.639 --> 00:51:11.280 I really love what you're doing, building this community, not just for people in sobriety, but for people that are curious about it. 00:51:11.519 --> 00:51:12.079 Thank you. 00:51:12.400 --> 00:51:15.440 I want to hear more about the mini that you're starting. 00:51:15.679 --> 00:51:16.719 Yeah, I'm so excited. 00:51:16.880 --> 00:51:21.840 So I basically broke down um parts of the main course that I launched. 00:51:22.000 --> 00:51:29.360 And the mini is going to have almost like podcast style memos, which is very cool, and journaling prompts that go with it. 00:51:29.599 --> 00:51:35.760 So it's gonna be more bite-sized and just kind of starting to like explore like why are you sober curious? 00:51:36.000 --> 00:51:38.320 What does sober curiosity mean to you? 00:51:38.719 --> 00:51:50.400 Um, how do you feel from removing alcohol for the length of your little mini course in inviting them to the community and just kind of learning about like what we're about and getting them excited? 00:51:50.639 --> 00:51:51.360 Oh, that's awesome. 00:51:51.519 --> 00:51:53.119 What does your 30-day course look like? 00:51:53.360 --> 00:52:00.400 So that one is broken down into four different modules, and that has videos of me talking to everybody. 00:52:00.880 --> 00:52:01.280 Lucky. 00:52:01.360 --> 00:52:02.159 Oh, you're so sweet. 00:52:02.480 --> 00:52:04.559 Lucky, smashing the like and subscribe on that one. 00:52:04.719 --> 00:52:05.039 I'm ready. 00:52:05.119 --> 00:52:05.599 I'm ready. 00:52:05.679 --> 00:52:09.920 Um, it's broken down into videos and it has um a PDF journaling exercise. 00:52:10.320 --> 00:52:11.119 Awesome, that's super cool. 00:52:11.280 --> 00:52:16.400 Yeah, I think a lot of what really helped me when I was starting my sober curious journey was um writing. 00:52:16.639 --> 00:52:17.760 And I was just being a good thing. 00:52:17.920 --> 00:52:19.760 You need documentation of this journey. 00:52:20.079 --> 00:52:20.960 It's really, really important. 00:52:21.599 --> 00:52:22.239 It's really cool. 00:52:22.400 --> 00:52:33.440 And then after the 30 days, or even when you start the course, you're invited into the community, and I'm actually connecting with some other sober influencers who are doing um like live events too. 00:52:33.679 --> 00:52:34.400 Oh, I want to go. 00:52:34.880 --> 00:52:35.840 Oh, Tampa, yeah. 00:52:36.079 --> 00:52:37.440 That's so please, please. 00:52:37.519 --> 00:52:38.719 It's old ear. 00:52:39.039 --> 00:52:39.599 Anytime. 00:52:39.760 --> 00:52:46.000 But yeah, I'm trying to focus more on um just getting like the community going and having live events too. 00:52:46.079 --> 00:52:48.559 Yeah, I love the live event aspect of it. 00:52:49.039 --> 00:52:51.199 What is the community like online? 00:52:51.760 --> 00:52:53.199 It's just starting, it's newer. 00:52:53.360 --> 00:52:53.679 Yeah. 00:52:53.920 --> 00:52:55.599 And we're gonna do weekly calls. 00:52:55.840 --> 00:52:56.239 Okay, cool. 00:52:56.400 --> 00:52:57.840 So I'm gonna like group calls? 00:52:58.000 --> 00:53:01.199 Yeah, group calls, and you can watch a playback if you're not there for the live one. 00:53:01.920 --> 00:53:03.760 And we can do um QA's. 00:53:03.920 --> 00:53:10.000 So if people have questions, they can write their questions in and then just cover like different weekly topics of like what we're navigating. 00:53:10.239 --> 00:53:13.840 Oh my gosh, that is so cool! I cannot wait to see that community grow. 00:53:14.239 --> 00:53:15.519 You're empowering women. 00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:16.719 I absolutely love that. 00:53:16.960 --> 00:53:19.119 Thank you for sharing your light with so many people. 00:53:19.360 --> 00:53:20.559 Thanks for allowing me to. 00:53:21.199 --> 00:53:21.760 Anytime. 00:53:21.920 --> 00:53:22.480 Anytime. 00:53:22.880 --> 00:53:24.320 Well, thank you for joining us. 00:53:24.480 --> 00:53:26.079 This has been an amazing story. 00:53:26.239 --> 00:53:29.599 I hope you all have gained so much out of this. 00:53:29.760 --> 00:53:32.559 Please tell us where everyone watching can follow you. 00:53:32.719 --> 00:53:33.840 What are your socials? 00:53:34.159 --> 00:53:38.559 You can follow me at Lo Welch and then the sober curious society.com. 00:53:38.719 --> 00:53:39.119 Awesome. 00:53:39.280 --> 00:53:39.599 Yes. 00:53:39.840 --> 00:53:41.599 Thank you all so much for joining us. 00:53:41.760 --> 00:53:43.360 We will see you next time.