رونوشت کامل The Finish Line by Kate Stewart, The Frenchman Gets Domesticated, Pt 1

of me that's like. You would think the three way on the lake 72 00:05:07,800 --> 00:05:11,560 would trump all three, but for me, the sex scene 73 00:05:11,960 --> 00:05:15,640 and finish line trumps the three way. So let's. Let's talk about 74 00:05:15,640 --> 00:05:19,480 it. I feel like. Let's do like a quick 75 00:05:19,480 --> 00:05:22,760 little recap. The gin. 76 00:05:23,530 --> 00:05:27,130 Quick recap. In Flock, Cecilia 77 00:05:28,410 --> 00:05:32,050 basically intros herself into this world of Raven Hood, 78 00:05:32,050 --> 00:05:35,810 right? She meets two main guys. Sean, she's 79 00:05:35,810 --> 00:05:38,170 19 years old, 19, important. 80 00:05:39,610 --> 00:05:42,810 And that's just like her first intro into this town to this, 81 00:05:43,850 --> 00:05:47,650 I don't know, Brotherhood to these two main guys. I 82 00:05:47,650 --> 00:05:50,940 feel like in Flock, she has a lot of growth, 83 00:05:51,580 --> 00:05:55,020 self discovery. Who is she? Does she like three 84 00:05:55,020 --> 00:05:58,380 ways, right? Is she okay being 85 00:05:58,860 --> 00:06:02,700 sexually expressive? Like, she's kind of grappling a lot with, like, who 86 00:06:02,700 --> 00:06:06,380 am I? An exodus. I feel like at that 87 00:06:06,380 --> 00:06:09,940 point she sort of figured out who she is, 88 00:06:09,940 --> 00:06:13,700 except that her whole world yet again, is starting over, right? Like 89 00:06:13,700 --> 00:06:17,100 the Brotherhood, the two men that she fell in love with, that gets sort of 90 00:06:17,100 --> 00:06:20,810 stripped away. And then she's meeting her enemy, 91 00:06:22,010 --> 00:06:25,850 Tobias, and then rediscovering her 92 00:06:25,850 --> 00:06:29,650 feelings and emotions towards this person who stripped away 93 00:06:29,650 --> 00:06:32,330 the life that she thought she wanted and loved. 94 00:06:33,530 --> 00:06:36,970 So she's rediscovering herself. Then there's loss. We all lose 95 00:06:37,530 --> 00:06:41,250 Dominic in that series, which is really sad. Flip 96 00:06:41,250 --> 00:06:45,050 that. You were just like, we all lost Dom. We did. Yes, 97 00:06:45,450 --> 00:06:49,020 we lost Domino. Dumb did. I was so 98 00:06:49,020 --> 00:06:52,860 sad. I'm still. I think after all these years, 99 00:06:53,020 --> 00:06:56,820 I'm still just as torn up about it. I'm still grieving that loss. 100 00:06:56,820 --> 00:06:59,900 That was such a hard 101 00:07:00,300 --> 00:07:04,100 character to say goodbye to. And then here we are 102 00:07:04,100 --> 00:07:07,860 into the finish line, which, on the topic of Dom, I feel like he's very 103 00:07:07,860 --> 00:07:11,380 present in this book, even though physically he's not there and he's not making 104 00:07:11,380 --> 00:07:14,170 moves and calls. They're both sort of 105 00:07:14,970 --> 00:07:18,650 grieving that loss, especially Tobias. So in the 106 00:07:18,650 --> 00:07:22,170 finish line, which is where we are now, we pick up with 107 00:07:22,730 --> 00:07:26,170

Tobias seeking out Cecilia, right? In 108 00:07:26,170 --> 00:07:29,930 Exodus, the second book, they 109 00:07:29,930 --> 00:07:31,930 part ways. And she 110 00:07:33,770 --> 00:07:37,530 goes to college. Yeah, she goes to college. She moves to, I think, 111 00:07:37,530 --> 00:07:41,210 like, Virginia or some shit. Like, she moves. She's. She's. She's in a different state. 112 00:07:42,000 --> 00:07:45,800 And Tobias now has to figure out, fuck, I really love 113 00:07:45,800 --> 00:07:49,440 this woman. I'm willing to do whatever it takes 114 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:53,120 to get back into her heart, right? Like, I. He now 115 00:07:53,120 --> 00:07:56,920 knows that's his woman. He's willing to, in 116 00:07:56,920 --> 00:08:00,680 essence, sort of put her in danger as being a part 117 00:08:00,680 --> 00:08:04,440 of his life. But he wants to 118 00:08:04,440 --> 00:08:07,360 be a part of hers, I think more so than anything else. And 119 00:08:08,510 --> 00:08:12,110 finish line, my opinion is that she's pretty independent now, 120 00:08:12,110 --> 00:08:15,950 right? Like, she's like, I'm starting a new life here. I think she, like, 121 00:08:15,950 --> 00:08:19,630 starts a bakery. Like, she's. She's making moves to just. Diner. 122 00:08:19,630 --> 00:08:22,750 Yep, yep, a diner. Thank you. So she's like, 123 00:08:23,150 --> 00:08:26,790 I'm establishing who I am as a woman. If you want to be a part 124 00:08:26,790 --> 00:08:30,390 of this, Tobias, I have conditions. She 125 00:08:30,390 --> 00:08:33,030 sets her boundaries. You have to tell me the truth. You have to be honest. 126 00:08:33,030 --> 00:08:35,710 You. She's making that motherfucker grovel 127 00:08:36,940 --> 00:08:40,460 his way back into her heart. Oh, I see 128 00:08:40,460 --> 00:08:43,420 Nacho thinking, I don't know that. Like, 129 00:08:46,780 --> 00:08:50,220 I. Yes, gravel. Okay, I hear you. 130 00:08:50,460 --> 00:08:54,220 But I also see, like, no, these are the boundaries, and I'm gonna 131 00:08:54,220 --> 00:08:57,340 stick to them. And if you don't like it, you can eat ass somewhere else. 132 00:08:58,380 --> 00:09:01,500 And he does. No, I'm just kidding. I mean, 133 00:09:02,180 --> 00:09:02,580 damn. 134 00:09:07,140 --> 00:09:10,820 But it doesn't. I don't. I don't. You don't see it as gring, right? I 135 00:09:10,820 --> 00:09:14,580 don't see as a groveling. I see it as, no, homie. You 136 00:09:14,900 --> 00:09:18,340 up. We had great rage sex in the other books, 137 00:09:19,220 --> 00:09:22,180 but that's not where I'm at I'm not interested. 138 00:09:22,900 --> 00:09:26,100 And if you want some of this puss, puss, you got to handle your business 139 00:09:26,340 --> 00:09:29,870 the way I want you to. And you bring up a good point, 140 00:09:30,430 --> 00:09:33,310 because in this book, she withholds sex. 141 00:09:34,110 --> 00:09:37,790 She's like, hey, we're not immediately wetting 142 00:09:38,350 --> 00:09:41,990 the whistle. That's what. She's not immediately getting your dick 143 00:09:41,990 --> 00:09:45,750 wet. She's like, if you want that, we 144 00:09:45,750 --> 00:09:49,110 need to fix all the other stuff. Like, we need to have a solid foundation 145 00:09:49,110 --> 00:09:52,910 before we start getting fancy with 146 00:09:52,910 --> 00:09:56,750 ourselves. Well, and that's why, like I said, that, you know, she 147 00:09:56,750 --> 00:10:00,550 finally found a set of balls, and she, she's not leading with 148 00:10:00,550 --> 00:10:04,390 emotions. She put up these serious boundaries, and it's like, 149 00:10:05,190 --> 00:10:09,030 either follow my rules or you're not getting any. Like, here's some 150 00:10:09,030 --> 00:10:12,590 lube in your hand and go take care of it. But you're not 151 00:10:12,590 --> 00:10:16,310 touching me. And for me, that was like, kind of like 152 00:10:16,310 --> 00:10:19,990 her victory lap because of all the years of her getting lied 153 00:10:19,990 --> 00:10:23,790 to and, you know, all that other she had to 154 00:10:23,790 --> 00:10:27,400 go through. So I, I, I loved seeing her as, 155 00:10:27,400 --> 00:10:31,200 like, kind of villain, kind of badass 156 00:10:31,200 --> 00:10:33,800 all at the same time. Yeah, 157 00:10:35,400 --> 00:10:39,240 I did, too. But as a smutty 158 00:10:39,240 --> 00:10:42,960 book reader, I was like, yo, how long is it going to be? How long 159 00:10:42,960 --> 00:10:45,800 until we get to what I'm here for? I mean, I loved it, 160 00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:51,040 but to be, to be honest, I do like 161 00:10:51,040 --> 00:10:54,570 that she made him work for it. She stuck to her 162 00:10:54,570 --> 00:10:57,530 guns. I was like, that is hot. 163 00:10:58,410 --> 00:11:01,770 That is hot. You know what you want. You're not gonna, like, 164 00:11:02,410 --> 00:11:06,090 you know, quibble over dumb. You know, 165 00:11:07,450 --> 00:11:10,970 you can be here, but I'm still gonna live my life. It's like that whole 166 00:11:11,530 --> 00:11:15,130 I said this to some, a partner of mine one time, and it turned into 167 00:11:15,130 --> 00:11:17,610 a huge thing. But I don't need you. 168 00:11:19,320 --> 00:11:23,000 I don't need you. I want you. And when 169 00:11:23,000 --> 00:11:24,280 that want stops. 170 00:11:27,960 --> 00:11:31,440 Bye. Bye. Bye, Felicia. That's right. Bye, 171 00:11:31,440 --> 00:11:33,800 Shashisha. Get the out. So, 172 00:11:36,760 --> 00:11:40,560 yeah, I get. I just as much as I hate it, 173 00:11:40,560 --> 00:11:44,360 I didn't hate her in the first one, but I 174 00:11:44,360 --> 00:11:47,310 love her in this one. Yeah. She's 175 00:11:47,310 --> 00:11:50,430 unapologetically like, this is my life. 176 00:11:50,750 --> 00:11:54,510 Knowing that she still has feelings for him, knowing 177 00:11:54,510 --> 00:11:58,310 that she still loves him, knowing that he's got the biggest, beautiful, most beautiful 178 00:11:58,310 --> 00:12:02,069 dick on the planet. For her, it's all 179

00:12:02,069 --> 00:12:05,630 her spots, right? Scratches those deep 180 00:12:05,630 --> 00:12:09,470 pitches. Itchy. Itchy. So, 181 00:12:10,590 --> 00:12:13,550 speaking of. No, I'm just kidding. Enter ad 182 00:12:13,550 --> 00:12:17,240 ready 183 00:12:17,310 --> 00:12:20,190 thing. Why the vibrating chair again? 184 00:12:22,750 --> 00:12:26,110 For our listeners, T. Rex has a vibrating office chair. 185 00:12:27,230 --> 00:12:31,030 She Swears it's just for being her back. Just her 186 00:12:31,030 --> 00:12:34,750 back. But her back location is in a 187 00:12:34,750 --> 00:12:38,350 different spot than most. Nice. 188 00:12:38,990 --> 00:12:42,590 Nice. You know what? At least now when I get up, I'm not 189 00:12:42,750 --> 00:12:46,540 handicapped. Okay. 62 is not 190 00:12:46,540 --> 00:12:50,380 the best. Oh, look. And now 191 00:12:50,380 --> 00:12:52,820 we have our controller. We're just going to turn it back on 192 00:12:54,580 --> 00:12:56,580 the glass. I'm just kidding. 193 00:13:00,980 --> 00:13:04,780 I do think that that speaks to her growth. Right? Cecilia in book 194 00:13:04,780 --> 00:13:08,420 one versus Cecilia in the finish 195 00:13:08,420 --> 00:13:11,620 line. Would we all agree that she is a woman 196 00:13:12,370 --> 00:13:15,810 in the finish line? Yeah. Oh, hell yeah. Whoa, man. 197 00:13:17,010 --> 00:13:20,730 Man. Yeah. Yeah. She's like, this is my. You want to be a part of 198 00:13:20,730 --> 00:13:24,530 it? Get it? Come correct is what she tells 199 00:13:24,930 --> 00:13:28,410 Tobias and I. Correct. Come correct. 200 00:13:28,410 --> 00:13:30,690 Oh, not C u m. 201 00:13:32,370 --> 00:13:36,130 I got. Now, listen, we were talking about when your brain squirrels, you 202 00:13:36,130 --> 00:13:39,850 gotta say squirrel. That was a big squirrel. Would you say, was it come correct? 203 00:13:39,850 --> 00:13:43,680 Like, come at me correct? Nobody's ever heard that for come 204 00:13:43,680 --> 00:13:47,200 correct. I did. Now I learned a new word. Did. Did. 205 00:13:47,840 --> 00:13:51,680 Did Mama Skittles teach you that word? Maybe she's about 206 00:13:51,680 --> 00:13:55,400 to. I 207 00:13:55,400 --> 00:13:59,200 do like, though, part of me. Okay. I think I've learned 208 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,360 a lot about myself in this book. I like Men in power. I love that 209 00:14:02,360 --> 00:14:06,160 Tobias was, like, suits and, like, badass. So when I 210 00:14:06,160 --> 00:14:09,800 first started reading Finish Line, and he shows up to the small town, not wearing 211 00:14:09,800 --> 00:14:13,000 suits, sort of trying to fit in with, like, Wrangler jeans and, like, a T 212 00:14:13,000 --> 00:14:16,820 shirt or. I struggled with it at first, rereading the 213 00:14:16,820 --> 00:14:20,380 book. I loved it. I love that Tobias had to become, like, 214 00:14:20,380 --> 00:14:23,980 domesticated. He was really trying to put his whole 215 00:14:23,980 --> 00:14:27,660 being into. That's not me 216 00:14:27,660 --> 00:14:31,460 anymore. Yeah. Yeah. And I didn't 217 00:14:31,460 --> 00:14:35,220 see it like that. But you're right. He had to put up a different 218 00:14:35,220 --> 00:14:39,020 perspective on, like, what he was seeking and the reasons he was 219 00:14:39,100 --> 00:14:41,970 seeking it. Not just to protect her, but 220 00:14:43,010 --> 00:14:45,810 to kind of, like, refind himself. Also, 221 00:14:46,530 --> 00:14:50,130 because by that third book, some shit had gone down with, 222 00:14:50,210 --> 00:14:54,050 like, Antoine and, you know, a bunch of other people. So 223 00:14:54,050 --> 00:14:57,730 he, you know, number one, he was scared as, right? He thought for 224 00:14:57,730 --> 00:15:01,530 sure everything he'd worked for his entire life was now going to go up 225 00:15:01,530 --> 00:15:04,850 in flames. The woman that he loved 226 00:15:05,090 --> 00:15:08,790 had, like, escaped and took him months to find 227 00:15:08,790 --> 00:15:12,630 her. Right? And even though all the. All the ravens were out 228 00:15:12,630 --> 00:15:14,670 there looking for and protecting her, 229 00:15:16,910 --> 00:15:20,190 only one knew where she was. Yeah. Who was it? 230 00:15:21,630 --> 00:15:25,070 Sean. Sean. It was shot because it was like 231 00:15:27,710 --> 00:15:31,510 he never lost tabs on his woman. He knew exactly where she 232 00:15:31,510 --> 00:15:34,680 was always. Because didn't he put a tracker in the Car. 233 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:39,040 Yeah. And that's how they were able to locate her. And. And the reason why 234 00:15:39,040 --> 00:15:42,680 I think that's such a pivotal moment is because Tobias had to ask Sean, 235 00:15:42,920 --> 00:15:46,760 do you know where she is? He goes, sure do. I've known 236 00:15:46,760 --> 00:15:50,280 the whole time, Jack. The whole time. Yeah. So it was just such, 237 00:15:50,600 --> 00:15:54,200 in my opinion, like, such a boss ass move for Sean 238 00:15:54,200 --> 00:15:57,960 because Tobias thought he was on, like, on top of it all, 239 00:15:57,960 --> 00:16:01,790 right? Like, Cecilia is his woman, but he lost her. And Sean never let 240 00:16:01,790 --> 00:16:05,630 go. So he was like, yeah, here she is, making sure she's safe. 241 00:16:05,630 --> 00:16:09,470 She had a guardian angel, right? Like, knowing, okay, 242 00:16:09,550 --> 00:16:13,230 so knowing that, but also 243 00:16:13,310 --> 00:16:17,070 knowing that he was really, really in love with the woman that he was 244 00:16:17,070 --> 00:16:20,750 married to and they were having kids. That was like, 245 00:16:21,550 --> 00:16:24,430 sexy. So sexy, right? Like, 246 00:16:25,230 --> 00:16:28,950 you can still care for people, but you still know who 247 00:16:28,950 --> 00:16:32,670 you go home to. You still know where your bread is buttered, right? Like, 248 00:16:32,910 --> 00:16:36,550 you still know who you love. And while you loved this person 249 00:16:36,550 --> 00:16:40,070 before, that's not who you love

like that now. And they. They 250 00:16:40,070 --> 00:16:43,830 became, like, the best of friends. And. And like you said, it was 251 00:16:43,830 --> 00:16:47,670 really beautiful. And you know, how much he. He loved 252 00:16:47,670 --> 00:16:50,910 his wife and how much he loved his kids. Right? We got to see 253 00:16:51,470 --> 00:16:55,210 a grown up version of Granola Head. And that. 254 00:16:55,210 --> 00:16:58,770 That made me happy. Is that, like, after all these years, you know, 255 00:16:58,930 --> 00:17:02,770 he found his way. Yeah. But he never 256 00:17:03,090 --> 00:17:06,850 truly let his first love move on. But they 257 00:17:06,850 --> 00:17:10,530 became really, really good friends. Yeah, he. He for sure 258 00:17:10,530 --> 00:17:13,570 respected her and loved her in a way that 259 00:17:14,210 --> 00:17:17,930 he wouldn't. She was never going to be alone. You know, he may not 260 00:17:17,930 --> 00:17:21,670 be in her bed, but she would never be alone. He was always watching 261 00:17:21,670 --> 00:17:24,590 out for her. And I loved that because that's. I feel like, in a way, 262 00:17:24,590 --> 00:17:28,350 that was always their relationship. Like, he. He took her into his world, but 263 00:17:28,350 --> 00:17:32,030 he always, I guess, wanted to 264 00:17:32,030 --> 00:17:35,629 protect her that way. And so he never. He never 265 00:17:35,629 --> 00:17:39,030 stopped. And I thought that was. I was like, oh, okay, Shawn. So 266 00:17:39,030 --> 00:17:42,630 sweet. Mm. I think Sean love that for him. I think. 267 00:17:43,590 --> 00:17:47,410 I think some of the funnier scenes in the book where Dom was, 268 00:17:47,410 --> 00:17:51,170 or not Dom, but Tobias was trying to be, like, all 269 00:17:51,170 --> 00:17:54,850 domesticated, right? And, like, cooking in the kitchen. And then he 270 00:17:54,850 --> 00:17:57,450 got, like, super fucked up on gummies and. 271 00:17:58,730 --> 00:18:02,090 And gin and like, totally destroyed the kitchen. 272 00:18:02,570 --> 00:18:06,370 But just how he. How he tried so hard to be domesticated 273 00:18:06,370 --> 00:18:09,850 and failed horribly. Like, the first three times 274 00:18:10,570 --> 00:18:14,290 Sean, I think, would text him, like, hey, how's it going? And the 275 00:18:14,290 --> 00:18:17,610 two of them would have this back and forth about, like, hey, you've Got to 276 00:18:17,610 --> 00:18:21,330 be there. Let her adjust. Like, Sean's giving Tobias advice on what it's like 277 00:18:21,330 --> 00:18:25,170 to be a different version of. Of what a woman needs. 278 00:18:25,250 --> 00:18:29,010 Right? Like, let her adjust. She'll adjust. Give her time and, like, 279 00:18:29,010 --> 00:18:32,810 very. Oh, I don't know the word that I'm looking for, 280 00:18:32,810 --> 00:18:36,650 but I was just like, that shit's fucking hot. Okay, Sean, let's go to the 281 00:18:36,650 --> 00:18:39,570 waterfall, and I'll eat your granola. Fine. 282 00:18:41,490 --> 00:18:45,290 So

I love that I. I do 283 00:18:45,450 --> 00:18:48,250 love that Tobias was willing to 284 00:18:49,450 --> 00:18:52,810 seek help, too. Like, I. Like, there was. There's parts in the book where he 285 00:18:52,810 --> 00:18:56,530 had cashiers. Like, he would go to the same cashier at the stores and 286 00:18:56,530 --> 00:19:00,370 ask them. Oh, yeah. For advice. I thought that was really cute. Like, 287 00:19:00,370 --> 00:19:04,210 he was. He was trying so hard to learn how to be a man in 288 00:19:04,210 --> 00:19:07,730 a different way so that he can win Cecilia back. And I thought that was 289 00:19:07,730 --> 00:19:11,050 really sweet. I also thought what was really sweet is when he went to the 290 00:19:11,050 --> 00:19:14,810 cafe and was, like, busting tables, and he was like, I'm here, 291 00:19:14,970 --> 00:19:18,810 my wranglers, pulling up my sleeves. Like, let's do this. And the 292 00:19:18,810 --> 00:19:22,650 old lady with her son and the whole, like, talking French 293 00:19:22,650 --> 00:19:26,370 and everything. And I have to go back and. And read that section 294 00:19:26,370 --> 00:19:30,050 again, because I kind of want to in that. In one of the sections. 295 00:19:30,050 --> 00:19:33,450 They didn't translate it to English, so I need to go and look that up. 296 00:19:33,610 --> 00:19:37,130 Oh, no, the audio. I think the audio is. 297 00:19:38,020 --> 00:19:41,860 If you can't find it, go to the audio version. Okay. Yeah, 298 00:19:43,700 --> 00:19:47,380 yeah. Like, no questions asked. Cecilia didn't have to ask for help. Dom jumps in. 299 00:19:47,380 --> 00:19:50,820 He's like, I got you. Like, whatever you need, I'm here. I. I love it. 300 00:19:50,820 --> 00:19:54,540 Because he knew she wasn't gonna ask him for help. She 301 00:19:54,540 --> 00:19:58,300 just wasn't. It was in my brain. She just wasn't gonna ask him for help. 302 00:19:58,300 --> 00:20:00,620 You're just gonna be there. You're gonna be a pain in my ass. That's fine. 303 00:20:00,620 --> 00:20:04,390 Go ahead. Be a pain in my ass. But. Mm. I'm not gonna tell 304 00:20:04,390 --> 00:20:08,070 you now. I'm gonna let you work for it. Yeah. And he 305 00:20:08,070 --> 00:20:11,710 did. He said. He sure did. He said, 306 00:20:11,710 --> 00:20:15,070 say less. So they have this sort of dynamic throughout the finish line, at least 307 00:20:15,070 --> 00:20:18,749 the first half of the book, where he's trying to be, you know, 308 00:20:18,749 --> 00:20:22,390 the man that she needs. It's a little bit foreign to him, but he's willing 309 00:20:22,390 --> 00:20:25,830 to put in the work and. And learn. And I think in doing so, he 310 00:20:25,830 --> 00:20:29,590 learns a lot about himself and what he values. We do a lot of, 311 00:20:29,590 --> 00:20:33,270 like, going back for him, too. A lot of, like, his history and 312 00:20:33,270 --> 00:20:36,750 his growing up and how, like, intertwined it is. 313 00:20:37,150 --> 00:20:40,990 Because we're going full spoilers, right? So, like, how her 314 00:20:41,070 --> 00:20:44,789 mom and. And him, like, met up when he was 315 00:20:44,789 --> 00:20:48,630 little and Dom. And, like, my 316 00:20:48,630 --> 00:20:51,310 brain just kept melting and melting and melting. 317 00:20:52,270 --> 00:20:54,350 This. This author, 318 00:20:56,310 --> 00:21:00,110 emotional roller coaster. Thank you, ma'. Am. Yeah, there 319 00:21:00,110 --> 00:21:02,870 was, like, threads throughout. Everywhere. 320 00:21:03,190 --> 00:21:06,590 Everywhere. Yeah. So to speak, on that scene that 321 00:21:06,590 --> 00:21:10,150 Nacho just mentioned. It's like, Tobias. Okay, so Dom. 322 00:21:10,470 --> 00:21:13,830 They're kids. I don't remember how old they are, but Dom is home from school 323 00:21:13,830 --> 00:21:17,590 sick, so Tobias needs to go to the pharmacy to get him medicine. 324 00:21:17,590 --> 00:21:21,350 So these are children in the pharmacy. He meets 325 00:21:21,350 --> 00:21:24,830 a woman who. Who helps him. I don't remember if she pays for the medicine. 326 00:21:24,830 --> 00:21:28,550 Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I. So he was. She was driving down the 327 00:21:28,550 --> 00:21:32,310 road and saw. Saw Tobias 328 00:21:32,310 --> 00:21:36,150 walking down the street, and it was, like, hot, and it was long 329 00:21:36,150 --> 00:21:39,830 drive, and she's like, hey, do you. Do you want to ride? So she drove 330 00:21:39,830 --> 00:21:43,670 him to the drugstore, and then. And she's, like, a thousand months pregnant. Yeah, 331 00:21:43,670 --> 00:21:46,870 she's. And so she's like, yeah, what's Cecilia, 332 00:21:47,750 --> 00:21:51,580 right? She was gonna name her something weird, 333 00:21:51,580 --> 00:21:55,380 like. Yeah, I don't remember. I don't want to upset anybody's name that 334 00:21:55,380 --> 00:21:59,140 wasn't like. Yeah. But. Yeah. So she picks 335 00:21:59,140 --> 00:22:01,500 him up, and there's this whole thing between the two of them where 336 00:22:02,780 --> 00:22:06,380 they go to the drugstore, and he needs 337 00:22:06,380 --> 00:22:09,660 Tylenol. He's only got 20 bucks because 338 00:22:09,900 --> 00:22:12,820 that's what he was able to squirrel away because they were living with the aunt, 339 00:22:12,820 --> 00:22:16,330 and the ant's a hot mess. So he's only got 20 340 00:22:16,330 --> 00:22:20,090 bucks, and he needs to get the medicine, 341 00:22:20,250 --> 00:22:23,850 the Tylenol, because he's got chickenpox or something like that. Yeah. 342 00:22:25,290 --> 00:22:29,050 And then she's like, well, what else do you need? 343 00:22:29,050 --> 00:22:32,570 And so she gets them, like, you know, cans of soups and cats and raviolis. 344 00:22:32,570 --> 00:22:36,410 And then he's, like, eyeing the books. And I was like, well, we don't 345 00:22:36,410 --> 00:22:39,770 have any books. And so she's like, here. And just, like, in my brain, she, 346 00:22:39,770 --> 00:22:42,490 like, just table swipes stuff into the car, 347

00:22:43,690 --> 00:22:47,210 anything that he, like, even a little bit looks at. 348 00:22:48,010 --> 00:22:51,610 Right. And little cars for baby Dom. 349 00:22:54,810 --> 00:22:58,610 Yeah. So there's this whole thing, and, like, they. He says in the book, he. 350 00:22:58,610 --> 00:23:02,170 That it lasts for. It lasts them for months. 351 00:23:03,370 --> 00:23:06,410 It lasts them from the food that she bought last them for months. 352 00:23:07,130 --> 00:23:10,860 And. And so that was, like, a core memory for him. 353 00:23:11,740 --> 00:23:15,420 And then he. He. To add to that he like, mentions how, like, throughout 354 00:23:15,420 --> 00:23:18,700 their life, like, boxes of things would show up, like clothes and. 355 00:23:19,180 --> 00:23:22,940 And whatever they would need for whatever age they were. Yeah, like this. This 356 00:23:22,940 --> 00:23:26,380 mystery package. And he always. I think I. I think he believed it was like, 357 00:23:26,460 --> 00:23:29,660 friends of the family or like the town or something like that, but he never. 358 00:23:29,660 --> 00:23:33,500 People that were in that group that the parents were part of. Yeah, 359 00:23:33,580 --> 00:23:37,330 but it was Cecilia's mom the whole time. And it ties back 360 00:23:37,330 --> 00:23:41,050 to her feeling guilty for the 361 00:23:41,050 --> 00:23:44,890 parents dying and wanting to take care of them without necessarily outing herself 362 00:23:44,890 --> 00:23:48,410 to a kid. Like, it's my fault. So she carries that on. 363 00:23:48,410 --> 00:23:52,010 She's. She's trying her hardest to take care of these two boys from a 364 00:23:52,010 --> 00:23:53,970 distance because of what had happened in the past. 365 00:23:56,370 --> 00:23:59,970 And she does so to, like, the detriment of her and Cecilia growing up too. 366 00:24:00,530 --> 00:24:03,090 You find out at the end of the book. Well, closer to the end of 367 00:24:03,090 --> 00:24:06,610 the book, that it was really to the detriment. And. And 368 00:24:07,090 --> 00:24:10,890 Cecilia grows up thinking like, her mom's just a wastro when it comes 369 00:24:10,890 --> 00:24:14,450 to money, when her mom was really just putting everything that she could 370 00:24:14,450 --> 00:24:17,890 into those boxes to send to those boys out of 371 00:24:18,370 --> 00:24:22,049 whatever her feelings were. And. And so 372 00:24:22,049 --> 00:24:25,810 Cecilia, who's. I can't even remember why she was 373 00:24:25,810 --> 00:24:29,530 so pissed at her mom in the first place. And 374 00:24:29,530 --> 00:24:33,330 in finish line. Yeah. I think it's because she knew her mom 375 00:24:33,410 --> 00:24:37,170 was a part of the death of. Oh, yeah, Dom's family. Yeah. Yeah, you're 376 00:24:37,170 --> 00:24:40,610 right. Ye. Yeah, you're right. Because she got like. Did the mom write her a 377 00:24:40,610 --> 00:24:41,970 letter or something? I forget. 378 00:24:44,210 --> 00:24:47,450 A letter to dad. And she read the letter to dad, and then she went 379 00:24:47,450 --> 00:24:51,290 and confronted her mom. Right. And then her and her mom didn't 380 00:24:51,290 --> 00:24:54,890 talk for a whole lot of months. But like, one of the funniest 381 00:24:54,890 --> 00:24:58,410 scenes in the book is when mom and. What's the 382 00:24:58,410 --> 00:25:02,050 dude named Tim or whatever or something. Or Timothy. I don't 383 00:25:02,050 --> 00:25:05,850 know. From book one. Yeah. They roll up 384 00:25:05,850 --> 00:25:09,550 in like a RV and Winnebago and it was 385 00:25:09,550 --> 00:25:12,830 all like, right around, like, the sexy time in the book. 386 00:25:13,230 --> 00:25:16,990 Well, they were gonna. Yeah, they were gonna. And then interrupted. 387 00:25:17,150 --> 00:25:19,550 I was like, God damn it. More chapters. 388 00:25:20,830 --> 00:25:24,470 Yeah, they show up. They're like, hey, Cecilia, remember that we were gonna go 389 00:25:24,470 --> 00:25:28,270 camping or something? And she's trying to shoo away her mom because, 390 00:25:28,270 --> 00:25:31,750 you know, Tobias at that point knows that the mom is 391 00:25:31,750 --> 00:25:34,510 responsible for the parents death. And so she's trying to 392 00:25:36,030 --> 00:25:39,670 prevent him from being in an uncomfortable situation, like, prevent Tobias from having to deal 393 00:25:39,670 --> 00:25:42,670 with that. And he's like, no, it's good. I'm good. I'm here. 394 00:25:43,310 --> 00:25:46,910 We're gonna have to do this. Let's do it now. And he was very respectful. 395 00:25:48,430 --> 00:25:51,910 Yeah. And. And the thing is, it's like he already knew. He 396 00:25:51,910 --> 00:25:55,750 knew that, you know, it wasn't. It was her 397 00:25:55,750 --> 00:25:59,470 mom and not her dad that started the fire. But, 398 00:25:59,470 --> 00:26:02,430 you know, that whole, like, push me, pull me kind of thing, 399 00:26:04,410 --> 00:26:08,010 I felt that angst in the house. It was 400 00:26:08,010 --> 00:26:11,730 horrible. Okay, as shitty as this sounds, it. It 401 00:26:11,730 --> 00:26:15,490 reminds me of an old girlfriend I was with. The woman I was with before 402 00:26:15,490 --> 00:26:19,329 I. I got with my wife, and she was going back 403 00:26:19,329 --> 00:26:22,890 to men, and it was this whole push me, pull me kind of thing. 404 00:26:22,890 --> 00:26:26,690 And I don't. I do not do well in those situations. Okay? You either want 405 00:26:26,690 --> 00:26:30,400 me or you don't want me. You know what? I'm not around. And. 406 00:26:30,400 --> 00:26:34,240 And if it happened now in my age, listen, you're 407 00:26:34,240 --> 00:26:38,000 dead to me. I'm done. Are you. Are you saying that that's how Tobias. 408 00:26:38,000 --> 00:26:41,240 Like, are you imagining that's how he felt? The push me pull me, or the 409 00:26:41,240 --> 00:26:44,520 push to push me pull me? Yeah, like, you want me, you don't want me. 410 00:26:44,520 --> 00:26:48,280 You want me. You don't want me. I'm giving you

everything I have, and 411 00:26:48,280 --> 00:26:51,520 I struggle with just desserts. Yeah, 412 00:26:51,920 --> 00:26:55,720 just desserts. Not like, you know, it should be tit 413 00:26:55,720 --> 00:26:57,920 for tat in any kind of relationship like that. But 414 00:26:59,840 --> 00:27:03,520 you. Sorry. 415 00:27:04,160 --> 00:27:07,760 I love it. This is tasty cakes coming back at us. Oh, 416 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:11,440 no. I will never live that down. And I 417 00:27:11,440 --> 00:27:14,400 say it all the time, too, for the most dumb things. 418 00:27:16,719 --> 00:27:18,960 Oh, no. Oh, no. 419 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,360 I agree. That push me, pull me. It was. 420 00:27:26,810 --> 00:27:30,170 This is so weird, because I could understand Cecilia in this book 421 00:27:31,370 --> 00:27:34,410 more than I could in the other two, but I. 422 00:27:34,970 --> 00:27:38,690 I felt so bad for Tobias. I felt so bad 423 00:27:38,690 --> 00:27:41,810 for him because he was trying everything, and that pushed me. Pull me was up. 424 00:27:41,810 --> 00:27:45,290 His, like, well, being like. Oh, yeah, 425 00:27:45,690 --> 00:27:49,490 yeah, he did get up. Yeah, a couple. That whole drunk night. 426 00:27:49,490 --> 00:27:52,890 That whole drunk night when he destroyed the kitchen thing, he. That was, like, 427 00:27:52,890 --> 00:27:56,530 screaming PTSD to me. Like a. I was like, I lived through some 428 00:27:56,530 --> 00:27:59,610 crazy like that. I don't like it. So, like, 429 00:28:00,090 --> 00:28:03,770 yet again, thank you, ma'. Am. Which actually, that 430 00:28:03,770 --> 00:28:06,970 scene, didn't he. I think it happened or it gets triggered. So he was like, 431 00:28:06,970 --> 00:28:10,010 we're gonna. I don't remember if Sean gave him the advice, but he's like, we're 432 00:28:10,010 --> 00:28:13,770 gonna do a date night. I'm gonna cook us dinner. I'm gonna recreate, 433 00:28:13,850 --> 00:28:17,610 like, the fireflies in the backyard, whatever. But I think at some point, 434 00:28:17,610 --> 00:28:21,290 Cecilia had mentioned a story to him. Like, we're just like, this 435 00:28:21,290 --> 00:28:24,810 story is very much our story. So he buys the book. Oh, 436 00:28:24,970 --> 00:28:28,570 this is the Thornbirds. Yeah. And. And 437 00:28:28,570 --> 00:28:32,410 in reading it, he immediately has a horrible emotional reaction 438 00:28:32,410 --> 00:28:35,890 because he's like, there's no way this is us. Like, he takes it as an 439 00:28:35,890 --> 00:28:39,210 insult and just starts fucking hammering back the gin. 440 00:28:39,770 --> 00:28:43,610 I burns the dinner. I'm telling you, in order 441 00:28:43,610 --> 00:28:47,170 to understand that reaction, you have to, at the very least, watch the 442 00:28:47,170 --> 00:28:50,740 miniseries. Like 443 00:28:51,380 --> 00:28:55,220 we will. We will do an addendum to this episode after you have watched 444 00:28:55,220 --> 00:28:58,860 the miniseries. I really want to know everything

that comes out of your 445 00:28:58,860 --> 00:29:01,860 brain after you watch that mini miniseries. 446 00:29:02,980 --> 00:29:06,740 Okay. It explains the. So are you. So then you having that knowledge, does it 447 00:29:06,740 --> 00:29:10,380 explain, like, are you like. That's right, Tobias. I understand why you reacted that 448 00:29:10,380 --> 00:29:13,930 way. Yeah. I. Yes. Okay. Without the 449 00:29:13,930 --> 00:29:16,290 spoilers. She's like, I don't want to spoil it for you, but, yes, I understand. 450 00:29:16,770 --> 00:29:20,410 Yeah. It's a whole different dimension. So now we have 451 00:29:20,410 --> 00:29:24,130 homework. Skittles. But we have enough homework. We have enough 452 00:29:24,130 --> 00:29:27,650 homework. Thorn Birds can wait. It's okay. We've. We have. 453 00:29:27,810 --> 00:29:31,530 We are. We are on a mission. I am on a mission. Okay. We have 454 00:29:31,530 --> 00:29:34,370 a mission. We are accomplishing that mission before October. 455 00:29:35,810 --> 00:29:39,450 Okay. Thornbirds. Thornbirds. Can you can mix 456 00:29:39,450 --> 00:29:43,300 in? Yep. Sprinkle in. Because, you know, an 457 00:29:43,300 --> 00:29:45,620 acquired taste for some people. It's not for everybody. 458 00:29:46,900 --> 00:29:50,540 I highly recommend. So then it makes sense. He has this reaction. He's cooking 459 00:29:50,540 --> 00:29:53,740 dinner, ruins date night, she comes home, he's 460 00:29:53,740 --> 00:29:57,500 plastered. Actually, it was not gin. It was, like, wine or something. It 461 00:29:57,500 --> 00:30:01,100 doesn't matter. Doesn't matter. Oh, yeah. It was the la. Whatever wine. Like that. 462 00:30:01,100 --> 00:30:04,340 Super expensive wine, but wasted champagne wine. 463 00:30:04,740 --> 00:30:08,460 Yeah. And he has, like. He's stripped 464 00:30:08,460 --> 00:30:12,260 of, like, all dignity, basically, and he's just confessing everything to her and. And 465 00:30:12,260 --> 00:30:15,820 letting it all out. And I think she 466 00:30:15,820 --> 00:30:19,620 learns a lot from that moment about Tobias and to some extent, 467 00:30:19,620 --> 00:30:23,220 gets some. Actually, yes. She has some compassion for him, 468 00:30:23,220 --> 00:30:27,060 because after he gets put to bed because his dude's fucked up 469 00:30:27,060 --> 00:30:30,700 drunk blackout, she goes outside to let the 470 00:30:30,700 --> 00:30:34,540 dog out and sees all the firefly lights, which for her was 471 00:30:34,540 --> 00:30:38,340 a very important thing. Like, he. She, in that moment, recognizes 472 00:30:38,340 --> 00:30:42,050 just how much effort he's putting into changing and 473 00:30:42,050 --> 00:30:45,730 becoming a better version of himself with her, 474 00:30:46,050 --> 00:30:49,890 trying to accommodate the boundaries and the things that she has set for 475 00:30:49,890 --> 00:30:53,330 him. Yeah. He's throughout this whole time, like, 20. 476 00:30:54,130 --> 00:30:57,490 I wrote it down. I think it's like 27 chapters.

This dude 477 00:30:57,810 --> 00:31:01,650 isn't even trying to force his way into her life the way he 478 00:31:01,650 --> 00:31:05,330 did in the previous books. He's like, I'm gonna be here. I'm gonna 479 00:31:05,330 --> 00:31:08,130 respect this. We're gonna keep going. I mean, he forces his way into the house 480 00:31:08,130 --> 00:31:11,650 and into the bed, but he doesn't like, put his agenda on 481 00:31:11,650 --> 00:31:14,890 literally anything else. He's like, this is what I need. This is the only thing 482 00:31:14,890 --> 00:31:17,170 that I'm gonna take. I'm gonna be in your space, I'm gonna be in your 483 00:31:17,170 --> 00:31:20,290 bed, and that's that. Everything else is. 484 00:31:20,690 --> 00:31:24,290 We're going at your speed. Right, Right. And so she 485 00:31:24,450 --> 00:31:28,130 finally, I think, in that moment, recognizes just how much effort he's putting into 486 00:31:28,130 --> 00:31:31,650 it. And then that, I think, is the triggering event 487 00:31:31,810 --> 00:31:35,170 for what I like to refer to. And in my notes, as 488 00:31:36,030 --> 00:31:39,750 I can explain, it's chapter 27. Which brings us 489 00:31:39,750 --> 00:31:43,070 into just the tip in chapter 27. 490 00:31:43,470 --> 00:31:46,590 Finally wrote that down. Because I'm going right. Meow. Yeah. 491 00:31:46,990 --> 00:31:50,830 Readers or listeners, if you're reading this book. Well, yes, 492 00:31:50,830 --> 00:31:54,110 if you're. Yes. 27 493 00:31:54,110 --> 00:31:57,950 chapters I had to read before the fucking 494 00:31:57,950 --> 00:32:01,630 sex scene. And I'm like, I just want it so bad 495 00:32:01,630 --> 00:32:05,470 because I, I think the author. Spectacular job of this build up of 496 00:32:05,470 --> 00:32:08,730 27 chapters of you as reader feeling that like. 497 00:32:10,090 --> 00:32:13,890 Like, I just want this to happen for them so bad. He's putting in 498 00:32:13,890 --> 00:32:17,530 so much effort. You're. You're like, any minute now it's gonna happen. 27 chapters. 499 00:32:17,530 --> 00:32:21,090 Finally. Oh, this is. Yes, I remember 500 00:32:21,090 --> 00:32:24,810 this now. She gets. Oh, I 501 00:32:24,810 --> 00:32:28,610 don't want to ruin what you're saying. Keep going. No, no. So it, it happens. 502 00:32:28,610 --> 00:32:32,290 And here's what I want. This is my opinion of why I think 503 00:32:32,290 --> 00:32:35,930 this is the hottest sex scene in this trilogy. This scene. 504 00:32:36,500 --> 00:32:40,180 Like that's how it's like, that's how this spicy stuff starts. Is like he's down 505 00:32:40,180 --> 00:32:43,900 on her full blown, giving her 506 00:32:43,900 --> 00:32:47,580 exactly what she needs. I did think about Yuji Rex and 507 00:32:47,580 --> 00:32:50,980 re reading this. The whole edging. I think there is a little bit of edging 508 00:32:50,980 --> 00:32:54,740 there. You think? But it's different because it's not a 509 00:32:54,740 --> 00:32:58,460 power move. It's like, can't. Is this. Are

you sure you 510 00:32:58,460 --> 00:33:01,660 want me to do this? Are you sure you want this to happen? Because of 511 00:33:01,660 --> 00:33:04,780 how strong this has always been for them. Is like this. And also, I'm going 512 00:33:04,780 --> 00:33:08,420 to take this a long time because who knows what the fuck's gonna happen 513 00:33:08,420 --> 00:33:12,180 tomorrow at this point. Yes. And so like this whole scene 514 00:33:12,180 --> 00:33:15,980 starts with that, she gives in. She's like. Gives him the green 515 00:33:15,980 --> 00:33:19,780 light. Let's do this. He starts doing it. And I love the way the author 516 00:33:19,780 --> 00:33:23,220 basically writes the scene and that, like, he is a starved man. 517 00:33:23,380 --> 00:33:27,020 And so, like, he has this frantic moment of, like, this frenzy of, like, he 518 00:33:27,020 --> 00:33:30,420 just needs it, needs it, needs it. And then at some point, he realizes to 519 00:33:30,420 --> 00:33:34,230 Nacho's point, like, I don't know what'll happen tomorrow. And 520 00:33:34,230 --> 00:33:37,950 then he slows down a bit and then really starts to, like, there's a lot 521 00:33:37,950 --> 00:33:41,710 of tongue assaulting and jackhammering and. With the tongue and. 522 00:33:42,270 --> 00:33:46,110 Yeah, and lots of it. Yeah. And it slows down a 523 00:33:46,110 --> 00:33:49,869 bit. And then, you know, they're doing the thing. And then I 524 00:33:49,869 --> 00:33:53,390 think finally he lets go of himself after she 525 00:33:53,390 --> 00:33:57,150 says, I love you, and then it's like, oh, he's home again. 526 00:33:57,470 --> 00:34:01,230 And then he, you know, the scene ends. But she, the author 527 00:34:01,230 --> 00:34:05,030 did just such a good job of writing that out that me as 528 00:34:05,030 --> 00:34:08,750 a reader could feel that power dynamic between 529 00:34:08,750 --> 00:34:12,350 the two and that struggle and that. That chemistry. 530 00:34:12,350 --> 00:34:14,830 So my question for Nacho, and just a tip. 531 00:34:16,030 --> 00:34:19,750 What was your thoughts? Could you feel the tension? Could 532 00:34:19,750 --> 00:34:23,150 you feel like that was it? Would you say your 533 00:34:23,150 --> 00:34:26,350 opinion. The three way on the lake 534 00:34:27,930 --> 00:34:31,730 versus the oral slash, I love you sex in the 535 00:34:31,730 --> 00:34:35,290 finish line. Do you have any opinions on which ones? I have an opinion about 536 00:34:35,290 --> 00:34:39,050 everything all the time. Just whether they're appropriate for this moment 537 00:34:39,050 --> 00:34:42,570 or not. Not my problem. Here's my 538 00:34:42,730 --> 00:34:45,130 not your problem. Not my problem. 539 00:34:46,010 --> 00:34:47,290 Okay, so the. 540 00:34:49,770 --> 00:34:52,330 For me, the three way 541 00:34:53,859 --> 00:34:55,859 on the. On the dock or whatever, 542 00:34:57,539 --> 00:35:00,739 it was hot, but also, like, that whole 543 00:35:00,899 --> 00:35:04,539 summer loving happen. So

fat, right? And then 544 00:35:04,539 --> 00:35:07,219 this is like in finishing line 545 00:35:09,619 --> 00:35:13,139 was emotion. So emotion is very much 546 00:35:13,219 --> 00:35:16,899 attached to sex for me. And 547 00:35:16,899 --> 00:35:20,659 so that emotion and the pushing and the pulling and the back 548 00:35:20,659 --> 00:35:24,299 and the fourth and the. And the edging and the. All that kind of 549 00:35:24,299 --> 00:35:27,580 stuff plays into that for me. So it was like 550 00:35:28,220 --> 00:35:31,900 both incredibly hot scenes. Even the angry sex 551 00:35:31,900 --> 00:35:35,340 in the second book, there was like, I hated it, 552 00:35:35,420 --> 00:35:38,220 but also I loved it. Right? 553 00:35:38,940 --> 00:35:42,460 Because they're so fiery 554 00:35:43,740 --> 00:35:47,100 when they're together. And that's just not what it was 555 00:35:47,340 --> 00:35:50,940 in book one. It wasn't fiery. It was sweet. And 556 00:35:51,400 --> 00:35:54,360 yes, there were two guys and one girl. And yes, it was naked. And yes, 557 00:35:54,360 --> 00:35:57,880 they were out in public or public ish. But they were outside 558 00:35:57,960 --> 00:36:01,560 where you can get, you know, sand in your vagina or, you 559 00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:05,240 know, mosquito butt or I don't know what. Like this. That 560 00:36:05,240 --> 00:36:09,080 didn't feel romantic to me. But. But it was sweet 561 00:36:09,080 --> 00:36:12,760 and it was kind, and it was, like, lovely and hot and. 562 00:36:13,080 --> 00:36:15,320 But these two, 563 00:36:16,600 --> 00:36:20,270 like, even when Sean and 564 00:36:20,270 --> 00:36:23,790 Dom were out of the 565 00:36:23,790 --> 00:36:27,390 picture and Tobias was 566 00:36:27,390 --> 00:36:31,110 really trying to insert himself into the daily life of 567 00:36:31,110 --> 00:36:34,950 Cecilia, it was still hot for me. 568 00:36:35,830 --> 00:36:39,510 Right. Because the emotion that goes along with it, 569 00:36:40,390 --> 00:36:43,990 huge emotions, valleys and mountains of 570 00:36:43,990 --> 00:36:47,770 emotions. And I think that's that 571 00:36:48,810 --> 00:36:52,210 roller coaster for me is what really attracted me to these 572 00:36:52,210 --> 00:36:56,050 books. Right. Because I'm the same 573 00:36:56,050 --> 00:36:59,810 way. Like, wait till chapter 27. But for me, the 574 00:36:59,810 --> 00:37:00,730 sex started 575 00:37:03,610 --> 00:37:06,810 when she started setting boundaries. Yeah. Okay. 576 00:37:07,210 --> 00:37:11,050 Okay. That is hot. Okay, okay. 577 00:37:11,050 --> 00:37:14,780 Yes. Set that boundary. You. You are worthy. 578 00:37:14,780 --> 00:37:17,180 Do the fucking thing. Because there are things that 579 00:37:18,780 --> 00:37:22,100 I know I didn't do. That's why I vibed so hard with 580 00:37:22,100 --> 00:37:25,740 Cecilia on a number of levels. 581 00:37:25,980 --> 00:37:29,220 Because when I was young, I was 582 00:37:29,220 --> 00:37:32,300 emotionally stupid. I'm still stupid,

but, like, 583 00:37:32,860 --> 00:37:36,500 I know I'm worthy. I 584 00:37:36,500 --> 00:37:38,380 know that I deserve. 585 00:37:40,790 --> 00:37:43,590 Who have kindness and to have 586 00:37:45,270 --> 00:37:48,950 love and to have respect, and I 587 00:37:48,950 --> 00:37:52,070 deserve to have somebody who wants that from me, too. 588 00:37:54,630 --> 00:37:57,990 So that's why I was like. So the sex for me with these two in 589 00:37:57,990 --> 00:38:01,790 this book didn't start in 27. It started, like, 590 00:38:01,790 --> 00:38:05,540 when she was like, the boundaries. These are the things. Yes, this 591 00:38:05,540 --> 00:38:09,380 is great. But also. Right. And now she 592 00:38:09,380 --> 00:38:12,300 knows by 27, she knows he's a wreck. 593 00:38:14,460 --> 00:38:18,220 Yeah. I. I wonder if that's why I found 594 00:38:18,220 --> 00:38:22,060 this scene so hot. Like, you're probably like, I'm 100% 595 00:38:22,540 --> 00:38:25,740 on with you on this. Because the emotional 596 00:38:27,260 --> 00:38:31,100 point or aspect of that sex scene was everything. Like, I was 597 00:38:31,100 --> 00:38:34,920 like, sign me up. Like, this is amazing. More so 598 00:38:34,920 --> 00:38:38,480 than the lake. I, I totally, 599 00:38:38,560 --> 00:38:42,120 I. I totally get you. Like, the whole lake scene for me, yeah, that was 600 00:38:42,120 --> 00:38:45,920 just hot, you know, summer sex. Hot young 601 00:38:45,920 --> 00:38:49,720 adult summer sex. But, you know, now in this, by the 602 00:38:49,720 --> 00:38:53,440 third book, you know, they're both a little older. I believe Tobias is 603 00:38:53,440 --> 00:38:57,080 a lot older than Cecilia is. And for me, that 604 00:38:57,080 --> 00:38:58,400 whole dynamic was. 605 00:39:01,050 --> 00:39:04,770 It was a huge turn on for me because it was basically her saying, 606 00:39:04,770 --> 00:39:08,450 don't mistake my desire for surrender. Right? Yeah, 607 00:39:08,450 --> 00:39:11,690 she's still. She's still, 608 00:39:12,170 --> 00:39:15,849 still fucking pissed. And, yeah, I want you. We need that 609 00:39:15,849 --> 00:39:19,450 on a T shirt. Yes. This is not surrender. 610 00:39:19,530 --> 00:39:23,330 And, you know, he. She had to teach him 611 00:39:23,330 --> 00:39:26,800 how to deal with her as she is now while she was 612 00:39:27,120 --> 00:39:30,960 still trying to survive him and that whole, like, 613 00:39:31,280 --> 00:39:34,720 push me, pull me. So, yeah, for me, it was. 614 00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:39,200 It was emotionally intense for me. Okay. Not just 615 00:39:39,200 --> 00:39:42,920 sexually intense, but emotionally intense. No, you're 100, right? And as 616 00:39:42,920 --> 00:39:46,000 I feel a segueing off of the sexy scene. I want to read this piece 617 00:39:46,000 --> 00:39:49,600 because I was, like, ready? Do 618 00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:53,320 it hurt? This is at the end of chapter. At the end of chapter 619 00:39:53,320 --> 00:39:56,970 27, Cecelia says, I'm certain that if God 620 00:39:56,970 --> 00:40:00,490 granted me only one minute of life on this earth, I would want it to 621 00:40:00,490 --> 00:40:04,250 be this minute, this moment with him where I know exactly 622 00:40:04,250 --> 00:40:07,810 why I'm alive and who for. Gazing up at the love of my life, I 623 00:40:07,810 --> 00:40:11,490 accept him fully back into his place in my heart, giving 624 00:40:11,490 --> 00:40:14,170 in the one thing I never had control over, 625 00:40:16,010 --> 00:40:19,410 because it's mine. I love you, I murmur. And with one last 626 00:40:19,410 --> 00:40:22,810 thrust, the 627 00:40:22,810 --> 00:40:26,570 thrusting. And I shrunk. I shrunk it 628 00:40:26,570 --> 00:40:28,730 because I was like, yo, this is going on for far too long. Maybe it's 629 00:40:28,730 --> 00:40:31,290 a gin. I said, let me shrink this. But the point is, 630 00:40:32,330 --> 00:40:35,970 there was. He thrusts after 631 00:40:35,970 --> 00:40:39,650 he says, I love you, and he comes. But you 632 00:40:39,650 --> 00:40:43,330 started to tap into something drx because, okay, 633 00:40:43,330 --> 00:40:47,050 these two dynamic characters, there's this final sexual moment. 634 00:40:47,500 --> 00:40:51,180 To your point, she's saying, because we're giving into this. I'm not 635 00:40:51,180 --> 00:40:54,780 surrendering, right? Like, I'm still this person. He still needs to 636 00:40:55,500 --> 00:40:59,300 work to be a part of it. And then the relationship sort 637 00:40:59,300 --> 00:41:03,020 of transitions into this underlying story 638 00:41:03,500 --> 00:41:06,700 of what Tobias has sort of been hiding this whole time. 639 00:41:07,820 --> 00:41:11,180 And after, you know, she emotionally 640 00:41:11,340 --> 00:41:14,960 bears herself and they've had this sex, she starts to find out that 641 00:41:14,960 --> 00:41:18,040 he's still keeping secrets, like he. He is.