رونوشت کامل "I Know We'll Have Problems" Is The Problem | The 'NEW' Marriage | Ep507

life there, okay, except for you're not allowing life in when somebody else is talking to you, breathing life. 00:03:25.520 --> 00:03:28.719 And we had to walk him through that, how you could be another level with that. 00:03:28.879 --> 00:03:32.879 Here's the other thing he actually breathed death into it after, and it won't matter. 00:03:33.039 --> 00:03:34.639 I'm so connected with my kids already. 00:03:34.719 --> 00:03:51.120 We have such a great relationship, but my wife, boom, right there again, you're pushing her away with you're not talking to her in this moment, but you're talking to yourself like this is the problem I'm going to face, even if you are facing a real problem. 00:03:51.520 --> 00:03:51.840 Okay. 00:03:52.159 --> 00:03:55.919 We were just talking about something uh a minute ago with Gasp, and I said, This is what's going on. 00:03:56.159 --> 00:04:02.560 And that's that's we're not talking about death here, where it's like facts, okay, we got to make a plan. 00:04:02.719 --> 00:04:03.520 That's it. 00:04:03.680 --> 00:04:05.439 Like the way that you talk matters. 00:04:05.599 --> 00:04:11.039 If you start complaining and sitting in it, you start becoming that victim again, you're preparing yourself to be the victim. 00:04:11.120 --> 00:04:14.400 In other words, you're preparing yourself to have the exact thing you don't want. 00:04:14.479 --> 00:04:20.399 Or another thing that we used to say, I don't know if we said in a while, is you're creating your own chaos, right? 00:04:20.800 --> 00:04:25.759 Most of these things, uh they're not even really happening in your life. 00:04:26.240 --> 00:04:32.560 You know, like you want so much more, but your mindset matters. 00:04:32.879 --> 00:04:35.279 The what was the book, The Secret, way back when? 00:04:35.439 --> 00:04:38.079 I used to think that was like hocus pocus bullshit. 00:04:38.319 --> 00:04:45.519 And you know, not that I've reread the book or anything like that, but like at the end of the day, affirmation statements work. 00:04:45.600 --> 00:04:50.319 If we know that we can tear ourselves down and our life can go the way we don't want it to go, you know. 00:04:50.399 --> 00:04:56.800 For example, one that's very commonly known, if you don't know, is like talking about yourself like you're beautiful, right? 00:04:56.959 --> 00:04:57.839 A lot of people don't. 00:04:58.000 --> 00:05:00.800 You look in the mirror and you critique and you never feel good about yourself. 00:05:00.959 --> 00:05:05.920 Do you have issues that you need to change with your body or or whatever when you're looking in the mirror? 00:05:06.160 --> 00:05:06.879 Maybe. 00:05:07.120 --> 00:05:11.600 But that doesn't mean you're an ugly person just because of the way that you feel about yourself. 00:05:11.759 --> 00:05:15.040 And the way that you talk about yourself will make you feel worse about yourself. 00:05:15.279 --> 00:05:16.639 Well, I think so. 00:05:16.720 --> 00:05:21.279 I no longer believe

in the law of attraction, the secret, just for personal conviction reasons. 00:05:21.439 --> 00:05:26.560 However, I do believe that life and death is in the power of a tongue, and power of the tongue. 00:05:27.120 --> 00:05:28.079 That's biblical. 00:05:28.560 --> 00:05:36.480 And so even if you don't believe in manifesting, which I don't believe in any longer, um, you can still speak positively. 00:05:36.560 --> 00:05:41.519 It doesn't necessarily need to be like a positive affirmation statement that's gonna manifest something. 00:05:42.079 --> 00:05:44.000 But just think about what Cass said. 00:05:44.160 --> 00:05:47.040 Like the the way that you speak is gonna come from the way that you think. 00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:50.480 I I don't that's not exactly what you're saying, but it's just cyclical. 00:05:50.560 --> 00:05:50.720 Yeah. 00:05:50.879 --> 00:05:56.480 So if you feel or think a certain way and you speak that way, then it's gonna it's gonna affirm the way that you feel or think. 00:05:56.879 --> 00:06:03.279 Whereas if you if you think that you're ugly and you start telling yourself that you're beautiful, maybe you'll start to see the positive. 00:06:03.360 --> 00:06:08.319 Maybe you'll start to see because even if you are ugly, let's let's just let me validate that for a second. 00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:09.600 Look in the mirror and say you're ugly. 00:06:09.680 --> 00:06:10.879 Well, is everything ugly? 00:06:11.199 --> 00:06:13.839 Do you have so many men have beautiful eyelashes? 00:06:13.920 --> 00:06:16.240 I don't know where you guys get off getting those men's eyelashes. 00:06:16.399 --> 00:06:18.240 But like, do you have nice eyelashes? 00:06:18.480 --> 00:06:21.120 Do you have a beautiful color eyes? 00:06:21.279 --> 00:06:23.120 Do you have nice full lips? 00:06:23.279 --> 00:06:25.439 Do you like, I don't know, do you have a dimple? 00:06:25.680 --> 00:06:26.959 Like, what can you see on your face? 00:06:27.040 --> 00:06:29.040 So if you think you're ugly, okay, go ahead and think that. 00:06:29.120 --> 00:06:32.160 But then why don't you look at all of the things about you? 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:35.120 There's no way that every single feature is ugly. 00:06:35.199 --> 00:06:40.399 And if you focus on the one that you think maybe isn't ugly, then you'll that will bleed into other things. 00:06:40.560 --> 00:06:43.839 You'll see your eyelashes and then you'll be like, wow, the color of my eyes really is beautiful. 00:06:44.000 --> 00:06:45.600 I've never actually looked because you think you're ugly. 00:06:45.680 --> 00:06:52.480 So you never actually looked at the color of your own eyes before to think about how beautiful those green flecks and the brown eyes or the blue, the bright blue, whatever it is. 00:06:52.639 --> 00:07:00.800 And that's all about the way that you think or feel, and then the way that you speak, and then going back to the way that you think or feel to compound that in a positive way. 00:07:01.040 --> 00:07:02.560 And your actions that go with. 00:07:02.800 --> 00:07:07.439 I mean, a lot of you could change your hair if you don't feel like you're pretty or handsome. 00:07:07.680 --> 00:07:09.519 Like, and I want to be clear about something. 00:07:09.600 --> 00:07:12.480 I don't believe that you can speak life and it will manifest. 00:07:12.720 --> 00:07:13.759 I don't believe in that. 00:07:13.920 --> 00:07:17.279 What I'm saying is this when you speak it, you think it. 00:07:17.360 --> 00:07:18.639 When you think it, you feel it. 00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:23.439 When you when you have all of this going on, your actions will usually follow suit. 00:07:23.920 --> 00:07:24.240 Okay. 00:07:24.560 --> 00:07:31.040 And that's why we see when people speak negatively, they stay in their pain and nothing changes. 00:07:31.279 --> 00:07:37.360 That's also why when you look for false, like if you look for the win and you try to take that praise. 00:07:37.519 --> 00:07:41.439 I'll say, for example, a man often in my program will say, you know, my wife started talking me. 00:07:41.519 --> 00:07:43.040 We she just opened up so much. 00:07:43.120 --> 00:07:52.399 And I'm like, Yeah, but now you're relying on her to have this new outcome that's exactly what you wanted, instead of what did you say, man? 00:07:52.480 --> 00:07:53.360 How did you act? 00:07:53.600 --> 00:07:56.240 How many times did you get rejected and not push her away? 00:07:56.399 --> 00:08:02.560 How many times did you show up as this new man that invited her in to talk to feel safe enough to open up to you? 00:08:02.720 --> 00:08:14.639 If you praise that man with announcing what the win is there, that man can do more of what was working and identify what was not working, and he can actually create more of the exact thing that he wanted her to open up. 00:08:14.879 --> 00:08:15.199 Okay? 00:08:15.600 --> 00:08:18.800 So you don't manifest shit, okay? 00:08:19.120 --> 00:08:24.480 Catherine talking biblical, sure, God can, but it's just like when we talk about in this prayer challenge I'm doing. 00:08:24.560 --> 00:08:27.279 If you if you pray, you're not gonna just change it. 00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:28.879 If God wills it, it will change. 00:08:29.040 --> 00:08:36.480 But in every one of those prayers, there's something else in your flesh, in your earthly uh body that you need to do something to go with. 00:08:36.639 --> 00:08:42.480 So we're going to breathe life with the prayer, and we're gonna speak to God with the prayer, but you better not just sit there and wait. 00:08:42.639 --> 00:08:43.519 You better do. 00:08:43.759 --> 00:08:46.559 Today's is really great when it's about change me first. 00:08:46.720 --> 00:08:47.600 That exact thing. 00:08:47.919 --> 00:08:53.440 Some of you guys pray to change your spouse's heart instead of saying, Can you look at mine too? 00:08:53.600 --> 00:08:54.879 Which is one of the lines in the prayer. 00:08:54.960 --> 00:08:56.639 While you're at it, will you look at mine? 00:08:56.879 --> 00:08:59.039 Guys, it matters all of it. 00:08:59.200 --> 00:09:05.519 Your thoughts, your words, your feelings, and most importantly, the actions that come from all of those. 00:09:05.679 --> 00:09:17.200 Because unfortunately, most of us, until we start to figure this out, we actually act in our feelings, backed up by the validation of the words, which is where anger would come from, just as one example. 00:09:17.679 --> 00:09:27.039 And we try to push all those things out that we don't actually mean or say things that we don't want, and we we do, we breathe death into our life. 00:09:27.200 --> 00:09:28.559 So I want you guys to think about that. 00:09:29.120 --> 00:09:29.679 See you next time. 00:09:29.840 --> 00:09:30.000 Bye.