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Hello and welcome back my friend.
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Uh, today, Yakov Smart is joining me, and Yakov has helped a ton of people
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to find their finances and since then, he's, he's now helping them to like find
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their, their spiritual place, right?
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What vibes with us, where we're at.
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But Yakov hasn't always been in this place.
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You know, some of us look and go, dude, you got a silver spoon, you got it made.
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If only you knew the place I'm coming from.
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And you're gonna get to see where Yakov has come from.
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What he's gone through probably resonates and mirrors what you
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and I have gone through a lot more than you'd wanna believe.
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So we're gonna get into some, some of it where it's like, Hey man, I
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just feel anxious in social settings.
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You know, I don't feel worthy.
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Um, I just doubt myself.
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And, and the things where it's.
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You can even hit those points where it's like, I feel like I'm doing all the
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right things, but nothing's clicking.
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And you're gonna see for Yakov, he got to a point where it's
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like he hit kind of that, that dark night of the soul, you know?
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And, and things just went off almost like a floodlight on a football
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field, you know, really shed light.
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Made a big transition for him, so super excited to jump in here and and
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hear more about his story and how he brought about that change in his life.
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Yakov, how are you doing today, my friend?
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Amazing.
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What a pleasure to be here.
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Absolutely, man.
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So let's go ahead and we'll start off with what does life look like on the
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professional side of things for you?
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The
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professional side of things.
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I've been in the online space since 2015.
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Um, built different offers, different businesses.
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Right now I've got two different things that I'm focused on.
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The main business, which I think depending on when this time this comes
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out, I may already be transitioned out of, but I mean, in motion on
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that, that helps people raise capital for private equity and real estate.
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And then the other business is a project called Abundant Alliance.
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Essentially helps people live more abundantly, and we can
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unpack what that means as well.
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Um, and it's not just helping people make more money, it's about helping
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people truly experience abundance of time, relationships, freedom,
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satisfaction, and really living in a more alive and aligned way.
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And very different than, uh, than where things were.
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Right?
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Yeah.
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It's like, dude, that's like a, uh, opposite side of the coin.
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180 degrees there.
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Um, well, let's, let's talk about on the personal side, so more of
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the relationships and, you know, what is the abundance in that look
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like that you're teaching everybody?
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What does that look like for you in your life?
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How you brought abundance into the, the personal side?
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Yeah, so it's having a few really close friends where there's
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true depth of connection and one of those friends is female.
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And it's not someone that I'm dating, it's like a sister to me.
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But I think like for a lot of people listening, I don't think there's anything
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wrong with having woman friends actually think a man should have at least one
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or two female friends where it's like, and when I say female friends, it's.
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Vibe, right?
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It's like having a family member because there's a lot that men can
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learn from women and vice versa.
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Um, so I've got a few guy friends.
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Occasionally I'll go out to events.
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Um, actually I was dating someone or recording this here in early February.
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I was dating someone over the holidays.
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That relationship ended.
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It was short.
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Um, but having more abundance.
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I think dating is a topic that a lot of men like obsess over or think about,
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and I think abundance in that area, it doesn't necessarily mean that you
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have to go out and like date a bunch of women if you don't wanna, but it's
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coming from the place of worthiness and being enough and being clear on
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what you like and what you don't like.
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Yeah.
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That clarity on who you are and mm-hmm.
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What really fits with where you're going and, and how you see yourself.
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Man, I think that's.
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Just really puts a strain on the relationship and our internal
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conversations as well, man.
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You were in your late teens and you.
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At a point you start, you know, investing and really looking at personal
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development or you're wanting that growth to kind of figure out some
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things you're facing at that time.
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And it's like, I'm not satisfied with, with where my life is or who I am.
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Um, you know, you're looking for change for that key to bring
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about the transformation in
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to.
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You know, like, um, what brought that on to, to go looking for personal development
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and then, you know, did, did that search, you know, reading all the books
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and investing all the money, did that bring about what you were looking for?
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Well, if I were to look at it now, what really brought it about, and my answer
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would've been different back then.
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But the real answer is love, right?
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Self love, um, seeing my potential, having faith, having hope, having
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trust, um, seeing that maybe just, maybe there were possibilities.
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I think growing up, one of my core things that didn't really click
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till my late teens that I started the personal development journey
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was that I had some control.
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And the word is agency.
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I like to use that word over my reality.
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Right.
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And I think for a lot of people, um, growing up as men, especially
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if they're from small towns or more traditional families, where, you
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know, there's like a set path where you think that there's a limit on how
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many options you have in front of you.
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Or if you're not good at something that you then can't do anything about it.
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And my, one of my first breakthrough moments, I wasn't good socially growing
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up, and I wouldn't even say wasn't good socially is a way to put it, simple terms,
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but it's not that I was good or bad at it, it was just that like my self image.
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Created a self-fulfilling prophecy that that's what it was.
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Uh, I think we all have innate like skills.
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It's just like they were hidden under a pile.
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I mean, essentially right.
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Baggage.
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And so my first time dipping my toe into personal development water, I had a
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friend, this was back when I was 16, 17.
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I had a friend and he's like, Hey, you know, why don't you date anyone?
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I was like, what do you mean?
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He's like, well, you should talk to girls.
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Like what am I gonna talk to them about?
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That was my like, what am I gonna talk to them about?
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It's like literally that, that's, that's what I said, right?
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Because I, my self-image and self-image is so important, creating a reality.
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My self-image of a was a guy who didn't know how to talk to girls,
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who wasn't attractive to girls who, um, didn't have anything to
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quote unquote offer girls, right?
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These were all like subconscious beliefs, right?
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And he's like, well, you gotta read this book.
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And so he gave me this book, and I'm sure a lot of people listening have
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heard of this book called The Game.
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Um, by Neil Strauss.
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It was written back in 2005.
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And do I recommend reading the book as entertainment?
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Sure.
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But it's not like back then I thought it was just how-to manual and they were
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like magic tricks that you could use to all of a sudden, you know, talk to girls.
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And a big turning point for me, I read it over the weekend.
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I absolutely just gobbled it up.
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The real reason why it resonated with it though was because for the first time in.
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Ever.
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Maybe I had this, like hope, I had this like, wait a minute, I have this problem.
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It sucked for so many years.
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Um, but maybe there's a solution that I didn't know existed.
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It blew my mind.
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Right?
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And oftentimes that's the start of what we call paradigm ship, right?
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My paradigm was X, Y, and Z, and all of a sudden I was like, wait,
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this other guy did this other thing.
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Maybe there's something I can do about it as well, because if it worked
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for him, maybe it'll work for me.
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And I think that was the first turning point of me actually
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doing something about it.
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And this is really, really important.
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I read the book, but it's not like I read it and just, you know, did a
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bunch of research and Googling and just like didn't do anything with it.
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Immediately on Monday, I came back to school.
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I went to the library during lunch.
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First girl that I saw sat down and started talking to her, and it went well.
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It wasn't like, you know, love at first sight and like, I don't think I ever
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saw the girl again, but it went well.
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It was a positive experience.
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It was positive reinforcement.
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I said, whoa, this stuff works.
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But it wasn't about the stuff.
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It was about me just boldly putting myself out there.
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And connecting.
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It's not, it's not rocket science.
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It wasn't about like the fancy routines or magic tricks or any of that.
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BS was like, whoa, if that works, then what else can I change?
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And so that's where I developed this sort of like love for personal growth.
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It's like that first win.
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I think oftentimes if you feel like you're stuck in a rut or you know, you're
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trying a lot of different things, that first win, that first breadcrumb for
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me and for a lot of men when we first taste that momentum, if something's
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really important to us, we double down.
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We'll do whatever it takes.
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Right?
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So that led to this like almost obsession with personal development.
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Read so many books.
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All these different things.
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The issue though, the issue and looking back several years later, you know,
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after I had invested over a hundred thousand in seminars, events, coaches,
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books, all these different things, the problem was I still didn't love myself.
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Right?
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That was, that was the problem.
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And the problem was there was still issues with self-image.
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And so I think the whole self-help world is a wonderful world.
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It's a big industry.
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You and I are part of that industry as well.
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And at the same time, what it doesn't talk about.
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Is this concept of becoming a match to your desired results on a
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deeper, on a quantum level, right?
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That's not talked about.
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And that is, if there's one solution to any problem that universally is true,
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let's say if you want a desired result and you become a match to it on a quantum
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energetic level, the result will show up.
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Right?
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And I think for anyone listening who doesn't have a result, they want in the.
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That's not debatable, whether you believe it or not.
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It's true.
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It's the most reassuring thing to know because that gives you the opportunity to
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shift things, gives you the opportunity to change, gives you the opportunity to
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transform like we're talking about here.
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Hmm.
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So is you're sitting there kind of like coming to that realization like,
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Hey, I'm, I am not loving myself.
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Right.
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There's that self self hatred or that self-loathing and.
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If we spilled something right, man, why can't you ever get it right?
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Why are you so clumsy?
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Is that kind of like self-deprecating, you know, talk that negative
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self speak, is that necessarily a sign of like the self-hatred or.
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Or like, how do you tell, hey, I'm not in love with myself, like you're talking
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about is the thing that's missing.
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How do you get there and realize that that's the boat you're in?
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Well, there's different levels to it.
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It's not a yes or no.
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It's more like, imagine there's like a thousand levels to it, right?
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And you may be on level 10 and like maybe your next level is level 11, right?
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And then level a thousand.
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Now all of a sudden there's 10,000 more levels.
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So there's, it's a limitless journey, and there is layers and layers of depth.
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As far as like how self-loathing shows up, I think the self-talk, if you
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can consciously hear, you're like, wait, what am I saying to myself?
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But I think a lot of people would just run on autopilot, right?
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We all have those moments.
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I'll tell you like, you know, my reality right now, my self-talk,
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and we all have our moments, right?
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I'm not saying every day is like just perfect, but my self-talk
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instead of saying like, oh, you know, you suck or whatever.
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It's more like, come on big man, get it together.
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Like that's, that's as as negative as I'll get.
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Yeah.
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And so that's something that's taken years and years.
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So the realization, um, where things really escalated was at about 25, 26
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years old, I met someone and I was in a relationship of almost two years,
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a very interesting relationship.
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This person was like a spiritual teacher and like she had this online business
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In a lot of ways, I think sometimes we date people because we have, they have
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things that we admire about ourselves in them, and we sometimes project
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things about ourselves onto them.
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And so we had this relationship and you know, it very much became like my.
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Like, I was just so immersed and it was fundamentally flawed.
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There was a big age difference.
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There were some other things that weren't quite aligned, like looking
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back and after the relationship, that's when I was like devastated.
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Like I remember just sitting on the couch like sobbing.
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Like it was just, it was like you could feel the physical pain, like
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you could feel, you know, the pain in, in the heart area and like just
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there was this heaviness, right?
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And I thought because we had a couple breakups before.
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Um, but we ended up getting back together and I had thought, you know, and I, I knew
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that this time was different, but I had thought to myself that, you know, if we.
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If we broke up, the solution would be go out and like date someone else.
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That was the last thing I wanted to do.
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I didn't wanna eat, I didn't wanna do anything.
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I just, you know, wanted to sit around and cry.
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And it was just like a lot of sadness and a lot of the sadness came because
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I, you know, I was telling myself I could have done this differently.
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I could have done this differently.
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You know, I messed that up.
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How could I do that?
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You know?
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And I felt like I really messed everything up.
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And so I found a book.
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And I think sometimes one of the most amazing things we can do is just like,
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follow our intuition, trust our gut.
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Right.
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And I think the more we do that, the more positive experiences we
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have, the more that multiplies.
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We do that more and more.
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And so for me, like I went on amazon.com and there's two books
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that really, really highly recommend.
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One is called The Breakup Manual for Men.
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Um, I'm sure it's still around, but like if anyone's listening to
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this and they're in the midst of a breakup, that was the first book that
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I read was really, really helpful.
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The second book, there's also one on dealing with grief, but like
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in terms of breakups, the second book that's really powerful, it's
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called Radical Self-Forgiveness.
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And so I, Amazon, I searched on Amazon.
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I was like, forgiveness, like what's gonna come up, right?
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Because I didn't know how to forgive myself.
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I didn't know how to forget.
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I didn't have a process, a tool.
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Or forgiving myself for forgiving others.
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I, I just didn't have a tool.
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Don't ever talk.
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They don't teach it in school.
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It's like, how do you forgive people?
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You know?
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And like religious, sometimes they'll say forgiveness is, well, how do you do it?
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Like, what's the process?
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Right.
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You can say it.
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And I needed a process because I had so much anger at myself.
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Right?
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So much inner resentment.
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And so this book, which is worth reading, it has several exercises that it's a very,
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um, one of my favorite spiritual books.
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There's a exercise in there called The Three Letters.
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And so I'd write these letters.
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And so what it does is just to give you like a high, high level overview, and I
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recommend reading the book either way.
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But the first letter comes from the inner judge, right?
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So it's like you let yourself have it, right?
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I think sometimes there's a saying, what you resist, persist, right?
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Yourself.
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Have.
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You write the angriest, nastiest letter, all does.
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You let yourself talk, go as nasty as it can.
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You put that on paper, you type it out and you feel the emotions when, okay,
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and that's how start to release energy.
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Okay.
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00:15:02
The second letter is from the Inner lover, so that's where you are
Speaker:
00:15:05
just like your own biggest fan.
Speaker:
00:15:07
And sometimes that's a hard letter to write, right?
Speaker:
00:15:09
Because if you're coming, but when you really start to transmute the energy,
Speaker:
00:15:13
you're like, well, wait a minute.
Speaker:
00:15:14
Maybe it was this, maybe it was that.
Speaker:
00:15:16
And then the third letter is from higher self, right?
Speaker:
00:15:18
It really puts things more like objective.
Speaker:
00:15:20
Perspective.
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00:15:21
And so that exercise is one of these tools.
Speaker:
00:15:23
And I finally, and I didn't find this in the self-help world, but
Speaker:
00:15:27
these were essentially spiritual tools that helped release things
Speaker:
00:15:31
on an energetic level, right?
Speaker:
00:15:33
And so earlier, you know how I was talking about you have
Speaker:
00:15:34
to be a match for it, right?
Speaker:
00:15:36
So to become a match for something, there's only two things you could
Speaker:
00:15:39
do to really simplify it down.
Speaker:
00:15:40
You can release something or you can create something.
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00:15:43
And oftentimes releasing is the place to start.
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00:15:46
So that helped me release a lot.
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00:15:48
Um.
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00:15:49
Elevated my consciousness, elevated my self-love awareness, and it opened
Speaker:
00:15:53
the doors to so many possibilities.
Speaker:
00:15:55
So I think it's something that plagues a lot of men, is this
Speaker:
00:15:58
self-loathing, this negative self-talk.
Speaker:
00:16:01
And you know, the very first thing, it's not a binary thing.
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00:16:04
It's not like you're either a master at it or you suck at it.
Speaker:
00:16:07
No, there's like, it's a range.
Speaker:
00:16:08
There's levels and it's like working a muscle, right?
Speaker:
00:16:11
If you think you can make your bicep bigger at the, at.
Speaker:
00:16:14
So
Speaker:
00:16:16
as you read the book.
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00:16:19
You wrote the letters.
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00:16:20
Yeah.
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00:16:21
And you're then beginning to, you know, forgive yourself
Speaker:
00:16:25
to actually love who you are.
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00:16:27
Instead of having that self-loathing, self-hatred, you're having self-love.
Speaker:
00:16:31
How did you continue to work that muscle beyond that point so that
Speaker:
00:16:37
it's like, you know, you, you've got that foundation to build from?
Speaker:
00:16:40
I
Speaker:
00:16:41
keep writing the letters like even now, like if I'm, if I'm feeling
Speaker:
00:16:45
like if I'm, if I'm feeling crunchy about it, I'll write the letters.
Speaker:
00:16:48
It's good.
Speaker:
00:16:49
And also there's a great book called Letting Go.
Speaker:
00:16:51
Um, it's about teaches the technique for like releasing energy, right?
Speaker:
00:16:55
Because all it is is just stuck energy.
Speaker:
00:16:57
And you know that once that's released, you just feel so much lighter.
Speaker:
00:17:00
So it's an ongoing practice.
Speaker:
00:17:03
And also in the moment, if you can catch yourself doing it and switch in the.
Speaker:
00:17:10
Ironically, I think there's a lot of negative self-talk around
Speaker:
00:17:12
negative self-talk, right?
Speaker:
00:17:13
It's like this meta thing where it's like, you know, a lot of guys are like, well
Speaker:
00:17:17
know I'm talking negatively to myself, and they beat themselves up for doing that.
Speaker:
00:17:20
It's like, you know, it, it compounds, it creates the spiral.
Speaker:
00:17:24
So it's an ongoing practice.
Speaker:
00:17:27
I think it's also reinforcing the image of who you'd like to become . Right.
Speaker:
00:17:32
That's a really key thing.
Speaker:
00:17:33
And understanding you're gonna make mistakes and that's okay.
Speaker:
00:17:37
It's data, it's getting, getting data, getting data faster.
Speaker:
00:17:41
Um.
Speaker:
00:17:43
Just taking things a little more lightly as well.
Speaker:
00:17:45
I think like sometimes it's easy to like dwell on things.
Speaker:
00:17:50
I think dwelling is actually one of the worst things someone can do, right?
Speaker:
00:17:53
I mean, let yourself process something, but oftentimes taking action.
Speaker:
00:17:59
Raise the energy of something.
Speaker:
00:18:00
Right?
Speaker:
00:18:01
And that's really where, you know, if you go from that place to
Speaker:
00:18:05
taking action, there's a framework called the Map of consciousness.
Speaker:
00:18:09
Um, if people are familiar, they can, they can Google it.
Speaker:
00:18:11
There, there's a lot of great stuff out there.
Speaker:
00:18:14
And it's simply, you know, if you're in a place of sadness,
Speaker:
00:18:17
sadness is a lower emotion.
Speaker:
00:18:19
You're not, you're not gonna go to love necessarily in, within a minute,
Speaker:
00:18:23
but you can go from sadness to anger.
Speaker:
00:18:25
Anger has a lot more energy than sadness from anger.
Speaker:
00:18:27
You go up to pride, right?
Speaker:
00:18:29
And then the next level.
Speaker:
00:18:30
So it's just managing that.
Speaker:
00:18:32
Um, and again, I think there's layers and layers to it, but it's, I believe it's
Speaker:
00:18:37
a skill set that more men need to know.
Speaker:
00:18:39
It's, you know, it's working that muscle.
Speaker:
00:18:43
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:18:44
Do find as you've written those letters that like it becomes easier, like you're
Speaker:
00:18:50
getting that clarity in what you want to say versus when you first did it.
Speaker:
00:18:56
I'm assuming like when you first did the, the, the first one, was it like
Speaker:
00:19:01
the self-love, was that the hardest one to write, like the second letter?
Speaker:
00:19:04
Was that the hardest one to write at that time?
Speaker:
00:19:07
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:19:08
The, the key thing with the letters is it can be, depending on how charged a
Speaker:
00:19:12
topic is in the moment, like it's really important to like, feel the emotion
Speaker:
00:19:18
out and just let yourself go there.
Speaker:
00:19:19
That's the biggest thing to me.
Speaker:
00:19:20
It's almost like taking a shower.
Speaker:
00:19:22
Like sometimes I'm like, I feel a little heavy and then I, I'm like,
Speaker:
00:19:25
oh, do I really need to sit there and write some letters or process it?
Speaker:
00:19:27
Yes.
Speaker:
00:19:28
Answer is yes, it could take five minutes, 10 minutes, doesn't have to
Speaker:
00:19:31
be this long thing, but it's doing something in the 3D taking an action
Speaker:
00:19:36
to release that and to feel better.
Speaker:
00:19:39
Right?
Speaker:
00:19:40
Um, so it's like, you know, people carry around so much emotional baggage
Speaker:
00:19:45
and it's kind of like, you know, would you go days without shower?
Speaker:
00:19:48
If you go days just like smelling and being dirty, of course not.
Speaker:
00:19:51
And yet, very few people, you know, if you look at collective society, have
Speaker:
00:19:56
the, have tools like this that they can use to cleanse themselves and feel
Speaker:
00:20:01
better without numbing, by the way.
Speaker:
00:20:02
Right.
Speaker:
00:20:03
Notice we're not talking about doing drugs or getting drunk or anything like that.
Speaker:
00:20:07
No.
Speaker:
00:20:07
It, it's sitting with something, going through a process and showering
Speaker:
00:20:11
off that low energy, that heaviness.
Speaker:
00:20:16
So in essence, we're not supposed to do, like we see too many teen
Speaker:
00:20:20
boys that skip the shower, that use ax and just, uh, kind of mask that.
Speaker:
00:20:24
You're saying that's not healthy to do emotionally.
Speaker:
00:20:26
Is that what I'm hearing there?
Speaker:
00:20:28
I think, I think most guys do that emotionally.
Speaker:
00:20:29
They, they, they spray on the ax to where they walk into the
Speaker:
00:20:33
room, they wreak of everyone.
Speaker:
00:20:34
Like who, what's that?
Speaker:
00:20:37
Yeah.
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00:20:38
Oh man.
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00:20:40
Well, as, as you've, you know, you got to that point, post-breakup.
Speaker:
00:20:45
You're coming into this point of, you know, self love.
Speaker:
00:20:48
Did that then change your.
Speaker:
00:20:52
Your image of your worthiness and and who you are as well alongside of it?
Speaker:
00:20:56
Or was that something that you had to do different to, to find your worthiness?
Speaker:
00:21:01
Yeah, completely went in tandem.
Speaker:
00:21:03
It completely elevated that worthiness relationship with self, self love, all
Speaker:
00:21:07
the things, all the things came together.
Speaker:
00:21:09
Um, raised my standards for myself.
Speaker:
00:21:12
Just gave me more confidence in being able to deal and process emotions.
Speaker:
00:21:17
I mean, that's a, you know, a lot of guys aren't scared of physical altercations
Speaker:
00:21:22
or doing like crazy stuff or like, you know, any of those types of things.
Speaker:
00:21:26
But when it comes to processing emotions, that can be a.
Speaker:
00:21:29
A scary place for a guy, right?
Speaker:
00:21:31
Because it's, it's less familiar and it's not necessarily even having
Speaker:
00:21:35
to do with the body, it's the mind.
Speaker:
00:21:36
And even on a deeper level of soul, right?
Speaker:
00:21:38
And this is more mysterious type of territory.
Speaker:
00:21:41
So, and I'm not saying, just to be very clear, I'm not saying to be doing this all
Speaker:
00:21:45
day, like, oh, you gotta process emotions.
Speaker:
00:21:48
Go, I'm, I'm not saying that, but I am saying just like if you're
Speaker:
00:21:52
starting at zero, get to one.
Speaker:
00:21:54
That's the biggest thing, just like building a muscle, right?
Speaker:
00:21:56
If someone's overweight or someone's like, you know, super skinny and
Speaker:
00:22:00
they're going to the gym for the first time, you're not gonna expect them to
Speaker:
00:22:02
be able to do big things at the gym.
Speaker:
00:22:05
But you gotta start somewhere, right?
Speaker:
00:22:06
So it's, it's having tools, right?
Speaker:
00:22:10
It's having practices, things you can rely on, and also being
Speaker:
00:22:14
there for yourself that, you know, you can depend on yourself.
Speaker:
00:22:17
You need to take a moment, you can give yourself that space.
Speaker:
00:22:22
Yeah, and I think the one important thing here to like really point out
Speaker:
00:22:26
is it's, you know, you're talking about going to the mus, going to
Speaker:
00:22:29
the gym, and working the muscles.
Speaker:
00:22:31
You are not just learning, you are taking action.
Speaker:
00:22:35
You have to, you know, it's like you're removing it from just the
Speaker:
00:22:39
theoretical phase to the practical, Hey, let's, let's see if this works,
Speaker:
00:22:44
and what kind of a impact does it have?
Speaker:
00:22:48
And the world around me because it's like, dude, you can't move, you know,
Speaker:
00:22:52
uh, like try and steer a parked car.
Speaker:
00:22:55
Uh, we're in essence that car.
Speaker:
00:22:57
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:22:57
And unless we're taking action, it's all gonna remain theoretical.
Speaker:
00:23:03
You know, we stay the same as who we, who we are, who we have been.
Speaker:
00:23:08
Um, it's putting into practice and trying it out.
Speaker:
00:23:11
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:23:13
I'm assuming then, like the next step is giving ourselves grace, um, to like
Speaker:
00:23:19
not do things correctly out of the gate.
Speaker:
00:23:23
Right.
Speaker:
00:23:23
To, to, you know, like if, if we're figuring out an emotional bicep curl,
Speaker:
00:23:28
we may not have our form in line.
Speaker:
00:23:30
Is that right?
Speaker:
00:23:31
Yeah, of
Speaker:
00:23:31
course.
Speaker:
00:23:32
Yeah, it takes practice honing it in different things,
Speaker:
00:23:35
working with different people.
Speaker:
00:23:36
There's different tools.
Speaker:
00:23:37
But I love what you said about actions.
Speaker:
00:23:38
It's like we go back to the metaphor showering, where if you think about
Speaker:
00:23:41
someone showering, imagine you have a guy who's sitting there at the gym
Speaker:
00:23:44
and he's thinking about showering.
Speaker:
00:23:45
He's thinking really hard.
Speaker:
00:23:47
He's reading articles about how to take the best shower, about, you know,
Speaker:
00:23:49
the best shampoo, body wash, but he never gets in the shower and days
Speaker:
00:23:53
go by, he is gonna smell terrible.
Speaker:
00:23:55
Right?
Speaker:
00:23:56
Same thing.
Speaker:
00:23:56
It's better to just do the act and, and get that process moving.
Speaker:
00:24:02
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:24:03
'cause otherwise it just stays in our head and doesn't transfer to who
Speaker:
00:24:06
we are or the actions that we take.
Speaker:
00:24:08
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:24:09
So as you like, start working through this, um, you know,
Speaker:
00:24:14
like transformation, right?
Speaker:
00:24:15
You're, you are totally changing, you're seeing yourself differently, you're
Speaker:
00:24:18
feeling about yourself differently.
Speaker:
00:24:21
How does the world around you change?
Speaker:
00:24:24
Or does it remain the same or are you seeing like, um.
Speaker:
00:24:29
Changes in relationships and career and, and different things like that.
Speaker:
00:24:33
It's not just all internal, we'll say.
Speaker:
00:24:36
Yeah, well definitely if you're not seeing changes in the outside
Speaker:
00:24:40
world, you're not doing it right.
Speaker:
00:24:41
You know?
Speaker:
00:24:42
So, and I don't, I don't say that everything's gonna change overnight,
Speaker:
00:24:46
but it's in the quantum, we call it the five D and the 3D, right?
Speaker:
00:24:50
So the five D is, you know, we can call it the universe, we can call
Speaker:
00:24:55
it, you know, somewhere out there the 3D, you can feel it, touch it.
Speaker:
00:24:58
Um, see it, you know, the, the five senses, right?
Speaker:
00:25:00
So if you're just feeling better, quote unquote, but
Speaker:
00:25:04
nothing different is showing up.
Speaker:
00:25:06
There's still a missing piece and sometimes it takes a little
Speaker:
00:25:09
while for things to show up.
Speaker:
00:25:10
There's patience, grace, like you mentioned, but typically you're gonna,
Speaker:
00:25:16
and you know, to get a little more metaphysical here 'cause why not?
Speaker:
00:25:20
Um, you're elevating your level of consciousness.
Speaker:
00:25:23
At different levels of consciousness, people attract
Speaker:
00:25:26
different types of things, right?
Speaker:
00:25:27
And so if you, you know, eradicate a pocket of lower energy, you're immediately
Speaker:
00:25:34
gonna make yourself more attractive.
Speaker:
00:25:36
I recorded a podcast episode.
Speaker:
00:25:37
I was like the secret F word that makes you more attractive.
Speaker:
00:25:40
Instantly like forgiveness, right?
Speaker:
00:25:42
It's, it's the process for releasing energy, right?
Speaker:
00:25:45
So definitely, you know, saw change at the time I had a big breakthrough
Speaker:
00:25:49
in business, you know, re redefined my offer, redefined like my structure
Speaker:
00:25:53
had, you know, bigger business and freed up more time at the same time.
Speaker:
00:25:56
So like, you know, all that came though because of shifting
Speaker:
00:26:00
my energy, who I was being.
Speaker:
00:26:02
First, right.
Speaker:
00:26:03
Didn't come from some crazy strategy or tactic first.
Speaker:
00:26:07
It came from shifting my energy first.
Speaker:
00:26:09
So that's a really big thing.
Speaker:
00:26:11
And yeah, this was in October of 2021.
Speaker:
00:26:14
Yeah, so like new revenue numbers, dating was just different.
Speaker:
00:26:19
I found that I was attracting.
Speaker:
00:26:21
In my eyes, a higher caliber of women, right?
Speaker:
00:26:24
Um, women who are more aligned.
Speaker:
00:26:26
I had more confidence in the value that I was providing, right?
Speaker:
00:26:29
So all these different things would transpire, new
Speaker:
00:26:32
friendships came about, right?
Speaker:
00:26:33
So a lot of great things.
Speaker:
00:26:35
Um, and I think that's available.
Speaker:
00:26:37
I, the way that I look at it, and I think this is gonna be helpful for everyone, is.
Speaker:
00:26:41
Imagine your current situation in anything like, let's say it's relationships,
Speaker:
00:26:45
career, whatever the case may be.
Speaker:
00:26:47
Imagine it if you think about like a swimming pool, right?
Speaker:
00:26:49
You think about a water park knows water parks.
Speaker:
00:26:51
They have like all these little pools next to each other, right?
Speaker:
00:26:54
So you're in a swimming pool right now.
Speaker:
00:26:55
You could be in the middle of the pool or you could just have one toe in.
Speaker:
00:26:58
But your current reality, whatever it looks like in the 3D or your
Speaker:
00:27:01
current situation, objectively, not how you feel about it, but
Speaker:
00:27:04
objectively, whatever that looks like you are in some sort of reality.
Speaker:
00:27:08
Right, and the very first step is understanding who's responsible for it.
Speaker:
00:27:13
That's gotta be the person in the mirror, right?
Speaker:
00:27:15
That's the first step to power, is more responsibility.
Speaker:
00:27:18
Okay?
Speaker:
00:27:18
So you're in this pool.
Speaker:
00:27:19
Now, depending on if you're in the middle of the pool, depending if
Speaker:
00:27:22
you've got just one toe in the water, there could be a pool right next
Speaker:
00:27:25
to you where you're on the cusp of experiencing a whole different reality.
Speaker:
00:27:30
And by shifting something, thoughts, words, and actions, typically combination.
Speaker:
00:27:35
Now you're experiencing a different reality in that area.
Speaker:
00:27:38
Right.
Speaker:
00:27:38
And again, only two ways to do it.
Speaker:
00:27:41
Release and create.
Speaker:
00:27:43
Okay.
Speaker:
00:27:43
When in doubt, release to receive.
Speaker:
00:27:45
Okay.
Speaker:
00:27:45
That's one of my favorite sayings.
Speaker:
00:27:46
Release to receive.
Speaker:
00:27:47
So if you're in a certain reality and like you shift energetically,
Speaker:
00:27:53
now you're going to the next pool.
Speaker:
00:27:54
But let's say you want something that's so, so far away, that's cool, but you
Speaker:
00:27:58
just have to go to a different water park.
Speaker:
00:28:00
So you're gonna head to the airport.
Speaker:
00:28:02
Like, if I wanted to go to a waterpark in Australia, it's, it's
Speaker:
00:28:04
available on planet Earth, right?
Speaker:
00:28:06
I just think I need to go to the airport first.
Speaker:
00:28:08
Probably need to take a connect flight.
Speaker:
00:28:09
It's gonna take me a few days, but I can have my feet in that pool
Speaker:
00:28:13
sooner rather than, it's just gonna take a lot more effort and energy.
Speaker:
00:28:16
Okay.
Speaker:
00:28:16
Because it's a, it's a bigger bridge that I need to build.
Speaker:
00:28:19
So that's a really important, remember that, um, anything that
Speaker:
00:28:23
you want right now that's in your highest interest is available.
Speaker:
00:28:28
It just may take multiple steps and the most important step is
Speaker:
00:28:32
always gonna be the next step.
Speaker:
00:28:35
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:28:35
Again, we're going right back to that action and not just being sedentary.
Speaker:
00:28:40
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:28:41
So you had mentioned there like our thoughts are words, are actions,
Speaker:
00:28:47
is you're making the change.
Speaker:
00:28:49
Like how did your words change in that process before it led up to that action?
Speaker:
00:28:55
Like what?
Speaker:
00:28:57
If I'm seeing like the thoughts take root correctly.
Speaker:
00:29:02
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:29:03
How is it going to show up in, in what I speak.
Speaker:
00:29:07
And is that just verbal or is that also like what I think
Speaker:
00:29:11
and I'm speaking internally?
Speaker:
00:29:13
Well, it's both and it's also the tone of what you say.
Speaker:
00:29:18
The tone, the speed, most communication people have
Speaker:
00:29:20
heard this is nonverbal, right?
Speaker:
00:29:22
So that's a big part of it as well.
Speaker:
00:29:24
Um, I think a big part of being a man is honoring your commitments.
Speaker:
00:29:28
So, and this is where a lot of confidence comes from too, because if you're, you're
Speaker:
00:29:32
saying you're gonna do something and you don't do it, you start leaking confidence.
Speaker:
00:29:35
It's just, uh.
Speaker:
00:29:37
It's just the objective reality, right?
Speaker:
00:29:38
So I started paying a lot more attention.
Speaker:
00:29:40
I was like, if I say I'm gonna do that, I have to do that to honor that commitment.
Speaker:
00:29:43
Right.
Speaker:
00:29:44
Have to do it.
Speaker:
00:29:44
You know, sometimes it can be, being on time can be an example of that.
Speaker:
00:29:47
If you say, I'm gonna meet this person at this time, showing up at that time.
Speaker:
00:29:51
Right.
Speaker:
00:29:51
And is it always perfect all the time?
Speaker:
00:29:53
No, but the same time it's adhering to that standard.
Speaker:
00:29:56
Right.
Speaker:
00:29:57
And.
Speaker:
00:29:59
Anyone listening, you can elevate your greatness, right?
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00:30:02
The standard that you hold yourself to.
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00:30:05
And now if you find yourself saying, I'm around, you know, toxic people or
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00:30:09
like, these people don't understand me, will elevate your standard first,
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00:30:12
and then the people are either gonna elevate also or they're gonna go away.
Speaker:
00:30:15
That's just the way it works, right?
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00:30:17
So I think the actions.
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00:30:20
There is a cadence, there's a focus that can come there.
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00:30:23
Right?
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00:30:24
And also just like understanding what's the point of the action, right?
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00:30:28
Because how many things do we do when we go about our days on a subconscious
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00:30:32
level that we're not even aware of, right?
Speaker:
00:30:34
It could be like scrolling on your phone, you're sitting in traffic, right?
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00:30:37
Did you have to think about doing that?
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00:30:39
No.
Speaker:
00:30:39
So it's like these little things, your habit starts to change.
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00:30:42
You start to evolve.
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00:30:45
So it's.
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00:30:47
Being aware and then being intentional and taking action
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00:30:52
from that is what I'm getting.
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00:30:54
Mm-hmm.
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00:30:55
From what you're saying, because otherwise, if I just read it but I
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00:31:00
don't speak it or take the action, I'm gonna stay in the same place,
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00:31:03
continue to be frustrated and be like, that stuff didn't work like
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00:31:07
we've done with so many other things.
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00:31:09
So how long did it take for you to start.
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00:31:14
Seeing change in your life, was it like 30 days, six months, a year?
Speaker:
00:31:19
Like, um, I know you had talked about when you got the, the book and you took
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00:31:24
action the next day and talking to a girl, it was like, Hey, here's some change.
Speaker:
00:31:28
How long did it take to, to start seeing change?
Speaker:
00:31:31
Immediately, like, you know, I started seeing little things,
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00:31:34
different people show up.
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00:31:35
I started, you know, doing different activities and then to really
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00:31:37
like that change in the business, that one took about three months.
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00:31:41
Wow.
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00:31:42
Um, so it can happen very, very quickly.
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00:31:45
Um.
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00:31:46
I think anytime we're going through transformation though, it's more or
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00:31:49
less zigzagged in a straight line.
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00:31:50
Right?
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00:31:50
That's really important to remember too, because sometimes, you know,
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00:31:53
there's little bumps on the road.
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00:31:54
There's like, it's that transition type of stuff, right?
Speaker:
00:31:57
So that's key as well.
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00:31:59
Um, I think the idea of overnight change is a little ridiculous.
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00:32:04
Although if someone is on the cusp of back to our swimming pools, if
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00:32:08
you're right next to another pool and you've only got your toe in the
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00:32:10
water and you make one shift, now the scale tips, now you're in a. So it
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00:32:15
is possible depending on how close.
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00:32:20
Um, just, I'm thinking of like, you know, practically where people are at listening.
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00:32:25
Like if they wanted to change something, the, the quickest way to change
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00:32:28
something is to release something else.
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00:32:30
It's the quickest, most powerful, most proven way.
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00:32:33
Right?
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00:32:33
And I think so many people are focused on creating, and we can talk
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00:32:36
about that too, what that looks like on a more quantum level as well.
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00:32:40
But you know, a lot of guys, if you've heard the word
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00:32:42
manifestation, for example, right?
Speaker:
00:32:44
It's a very loaded word.
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00:32:47
The best way to start that process of shifting the current situation to release.
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00:32:53
Okay.
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00:32:54
Can start with releasing attachment, but releasing energy.
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00:32:57
I think having a process for that, just like letting go,
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00:32:59
you'll be lighter, you'll be more attractive, you'll feel differently.
Speaker:
00:33:04
It opens up the door for creativity, right?
Speaker:
00:33:06
It's just like, you know, if you have a plate and you have a full plate,
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00:33:09
nothing else fits on the plate, you know, but you wanna put more food
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00:33:13
on there, you need another plate.
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00:33:14
Or you could just clear the plate and then put dessert on there, right?
Speaker:
00:33:17
So that's a really, really important thing.
Speaker:
00:33:21
So what actions bring about that release is this kind of like the forgiveness
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00:33:26
or like, what, what do you, what should we be looking to do to bring that
Speaker:
00:33:31
release instead of creating things?
Speaker:
00:33:34
So the three letters technique is a great technique.
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00:33:37
The letting go technique is great.
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00:33:38
There's some stuff in it.
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00:33:39
Neurolinguistic programming NLP tool that people can use as well.
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00:33:43
Um, the easiest way if someone, just like the most rudimentary thing,
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00:33:47
if you were to teach a child how to do this, either a laugh or cry.
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00:33:52
Okay?
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00:33:53
So you find something that makes you hysterically laugh.
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00:33:57
It could be videos.
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00:33:59
It could be a movie, and that releases energy, right?
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00:34:02
You ever notice how when people are nervous, they start laughing
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00:34:04
because they're releasing energy or something that makes you cry?
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00:34:07
And for a lot of guys crying, you know, I know men who haven't cried
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00:34:10
in 20 years, and that's, if that's a hard thing for you, that's okay.
Speaker:
00:34:13
Just use a different tool, right?
Speaker:
00:34:15
That that's fine.
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00:34:16
But crying is a way of releasing.
Speaker:
00:34:18
There's guided meditations out there, there's hypnosis, there's
Speaker:
00:34:21
all these different tools.
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00:34:23
Also movement, right?
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00:34:24
Like another easy thing is you go to the gym, you release energy,
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00:34:28
you've probably done it to de-stress.
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00:34:29
That's 'cause you're releasing stuff, right?
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00:34:32
So that's the key thing.
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00:34:33
It's like, so if you feel stuck, the very first thing to do is like, okay,
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00:34:36
let's release release to receive.
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00:34:40
Yeah.
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00:34:40
So what I'm hearing is go jump on a roller coaster and have that
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00:34:44
nervous laugh to release that energy.
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00:34:46
Right, is true.
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00:34:48
Because that's, I mean, honestly, it's like how many times do you go to
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00:34:52
like an amusement park and it's like you've got this crazy roller coaster
Speaker:
00:34:56
and there's somebody that's on it laughing because otherwise they're
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00:35:01
gonna be screaming and freaking out.
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00:35:02
Yeah.
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00:35:02
Because they're, they're outside of their comfort zone.
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00:35:05
Right.
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00:35:05
So yeah.
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00:35:07
Another thing someone can do.
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00:35:08
Speaking of screaming, just like, yeah, let out a, let
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00:35:11
out a yell, let out a scream.
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00:35:12
Just say it feels good sometimes.
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00:35:15
Yeah.
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00:35:16
Just changing that, uh, the emotional state you're in.
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00:35:20
Mm-hmm.
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00:35:21
Um, so well.
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00:35:24
So as you've continued going along along the process, Yakov, what have you
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00:35:29
seen that's a, you know, given you that additional traction, um, to continue
Speaker:
00:35:36
growing and, um, you know, loving yourself and finding that self worth?
Speaker:
00:35:41
I mean, like what has built that foundation and continued to level up?
Speaker:
00:35:47
I think the consistency is key.
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00:35:48
I think like just anything, like with investing for
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00:35:51
example, things compound, right?
Speaker:
00:35:52
So actions compound, that's really key.
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00:35:56
Um, and anytime you slip up or you know, don't do something quite
Speaker:
00:36:01
up to your standard, it's okay.
Speaker:
00:36:03
It's like, like letting that go faster.
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00:36:05
Okay.
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00:36:06
And not ignoring, like, if you're feeling heavy, you're feeling like
Speaker:
00:36:08
re you gotta release, gotta release.
Speaker:
00:36:11
Don't let it drag out.
Speaker:
00:36:11
And if you're busy throughout the day, do it at night, but do it in the morning.
Speaker:
00:36:14
Release.
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00:36:15
Release.
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00:36:16
That's the the biggest thing.
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00:36:18
Um, I think for me too, like more recently, something that, it's a little
Speaker:
00:36:22
nuanced, but I'll share this, is having operating systems for everything.
Speaker:
00:36:27
Like literally I have Google Documents, this is my operating
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00:36:30
system for this thing.
Speaker:
00:36:31
When in doubt, go look at the system, because what happens, and you mentioned
Speaker:
00:36:36
different states, like if I'm in a, let's say I'm in an angry state, right?
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00:36:41
And I need to make a decision about something, that decision is
Speaker:
00:36:44
probably gonna lead to more anger.
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00:36:46
It's not the best place to make that decision about, right?
Speaker:
00:36:49
Versus if I'm in an, all I need to remember is, Hey, before I decide on
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00:36:53
this, or before I go and do this activity, let me look at the manual for it.
Speaker:
00:36:56
Let me skim it.
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00:36:57
Immediately just so like it reminds me of that state and I make the operating
Speaker:
00:37:01
system when I'm in a state that's of a higher energy in that thing, right?
Speaker:
00:37:06
So for example, if I wanted to go on a date, for example, right?
Speaker:
00:37:10
Just a really practical example.
Speaker:
00:37:13
I have a document I can read.
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00:37:14
It reminds me of very important things, and then I go on the date.
Speaker:
00:37:19
And it, and it sticks, right?
Speaker:
00:37:21
Because I come from that place.
Speaker:
00:37:23
And so I think, um, there's a lot of talk about peak performance, right?
Speaker:
00:37:27
In this world.
Speaker:
00:37:27
Like how do you optimize your performance?
Speaker:
00:37:29
No one's talking about peak setup.
Speaker:
00:37:31
How do you set yourself up to where you don't have to perform, where
Speaker:
00:37:35
everything's rigged in your favor, right?
Speaker:
00:37:37
So that's what I'm really big on, like setting things up.
Speaker:
00:37:39
And I know you put me in a certain environment around
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00:37:42
certain people for long enough.
Speaker:
00:37:44
I will sure enough, revert to a less than empowered state.
Speaker:
00:37:48
And it's, it, it's, um, it's just the reality, right?
Speaker:
00:37:51
So instead of fighting it, just don't put yourself in that environment, right?
Speaker:
00:37:55
Set things up the right way.
Speaker:
00:37:57
You know, that's such a big thing in any area.
Speaker:
00:38:00
How are you setting things up?
Speaker:
00:38:01
How are you setting up your day?
Speaker:
00:38:02
You know, how are you setting up?
Speaker:
00:38:03
How are you nourishing your body?
Speaker:
00:38:05
Right?
Speaker:
00:38:05
It's like having a operating, so you can always tweak the system.
Speaker:
00:38:08
You can always refine it and adjust it, but when in doubt, stick to the operating
Speaker:
00:38:12
system and set things up in your favor.
Speaker:
00:38:15
Play to your strengths.
Speaker:
00:38:18
So how do you go about creating that?
Speaker:
00:38:20
So let's say somebody is getting ready to go to work.
Speaker:
00:38:24
You know, that's, you wanna make sure you're coming in as charged as possible,
Speaker:
00:38:28
you know, not charged in a negative way, like you're coming in, in anger with
Speaker:
00:38:33
that, you've got that positive energy because sometimes work can be a drain,
Speaker:
00:38:38
but how do you create that list to put yourself , consistently in the best place?
Speaker:
00:38:44
So when you are, the key is to create the list when you're in a good place.
Speaker:
00:38:49
If you to remember next time you're in a good place in that area, that's
Speaker:
00:38:53
when you create the operating system.
Speaker:
00:38:55
You don't create it in a neutral place, right, or a bad place, right?
Speaker:
00:38:58
That's really important.
Speaker:
00:38:59
So when you're in a good place, you recognize the
Speaker:
00:39:02
patterns, you observe it, okay?
Speaker:
00:39:03
What led to this?
Speaker:
00:39:05
Okay.
Speaker:
00:39:05
That's a really, really big thing.
Speaker:
00:39:07
It's like, okay, so this is what created this.
Speaker:
00:39:11
And like you look for the principles.
Speaker:
00:39:13
There's a great book by Ray Dalio principles, there's
Speaker:
00:39:15
principles to everything, right?
Speaker:
00:39:16
So what are the principles to you being successful at work in this situation?
Speaker:
00:39:19
Right?
Speaker:
00:39:20
And what's the, what's the vibe that you wanna be in?
Speaker:
00:39:23
Right?
Speaker:
00:39:24
Meaning like, what's the.
Speaker:
00:39:25
Emotional state.
Speaker:
00:39:26
And sometimes, you know, I think actors are great, like method actors are great
Speaker:
00:39:30
at really becoming someone else, right?
Speaker:
00:39:32
So maybe when you are, let's say your work is in sales, right?
Speaker:
00:39:35
And like there's a certain, there's a certain energy to being effective at
Speaker:
00:39:40
sales and depending on the sales role, the customer, that can vary, right?
Speaker:
00:39:44
So one of the easiest things anyone can do is you pick a song
Speaker:
00:39:48
that reminds you of that energy.
Speaker:
00:39:49
And anytime you wanna get into that state, you play the song.
Speaker:
00:39:52
Ideally, you loop the song again and again.
Speaker:
00:39:54
So if you're driving somewhere, you loop it again and again, you remind
Speaker:
00:39:57
yourself of those things going in.
Speaker:
00:39:58
You're gonna be likely to be calibrating at that energy that you wanna be at.
Speaker:
00:40:04
So don't look for a low energy song.
Speaker:
00:40:07
No ballads,
Speaker:
00:40:09
depends on, depends on what you wanna do.
Speaker:
00:40:10
If you're, if you need to do something that's like manual labor, like if you're
Speaker:
00:40:13
going to dig holes, for example, right?
Speaker:
00:40:16
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:40:16
You probably want something that's like a little bit like feisty.
Speaker:
00:40:21
Like hip hop, hard rock, you know, if you're listening to classical
Speaker:
00:40:24
music, digging holes, it's.
Speaker:
00:40:28
It
Speaker:
00:40:29
better be something very intense if If that's the case.
Speaker:
00:40:32
Yeah, exactly.
Speaker:
00:40:34
Yep.
Speaker:
00:40:35
Well, dude, Yakov, I appreciate your sharing your journey, the challenges
Speaker:
00:40:40
you were facing, and then how it's like, you know, that forgiveness, that
Speaker:
00:40:43
self-love, letting go of that self hatred.
Speaker:
00:40:47
And then just turning into how do I create plans, you know, these checklists and.
Speaker:
00:40:53
You know, uh, operating systems as you called them, for setting
Speaker:
00:40:57
myself up for success in different situations and different environments.
Speaker:
00:41:01
Dude, I appreciate you sharing all that.
Speaker:
00:41:03
And if guys are looking to connect outside of this podcast, how can they do that?
Speaker:
00:41:08
Easiest thing, you can find me on LinkedIn Smart.
Speaker:
00:41:11
I'm sure it'll be in the show notes.
Speaker:
00:41:13
Um, also smart.com.
Speaker:
00:41:15
There's a contact form you can go and that in social media, but I think it's
Speaker:
00:41:21
also really important to not be shy.
Speaker:
00:41:23
To reach out.
Speaker:
00:41:24
And even if you're like, Hey, one thing really resonated, way to go.
Speaker:
00:41:28
I think when you do that, that's also paying it forward, because
Speaker:
00:41:30
then it's a mirror, right?
Speaker:
00:41:32
Someone's gonna end up doing that for you, and I think it, it adds the party.
Speaker:
00:41:36
So I highly recommend people.
Speaker:
00:41:37
It's one thing to listen to a podcast.
Speaker:
00:41:39
I love what you said about action and just like, listen to every episode,
Speaker:
00:41:42
take a bunch of notes, but the action is paying it forward, right?
Speaker:
00:41:45
You know, how can you add value to yourself and everyone
Speaker:
00:41:48
who's sharing this with you.
Speaker:
00:41:50
Yeah, hundred percent.
Speaker:
00:41:51
It's like invest in yourself, not just with the knowledge, but with the
Speaker:
00:41:55
action and keep things moving forward.
Speaker:
00:41:58
I appreciate it.
Speaker:
00:41:58
Thank you so much my friend.
Speaker:
00:42:00
Thank you.
00:00:01
Hello and welcome back my friend.
Speaker:
00:00:03
Uh, today, Yakov Smart is joining me, and Yakov has helped a ton of people
Speaker:
00:00:08
to find their finances and since then, he's, he's now helping them to like find
Speaker:
00:00:14
their, their spiritual place, right?
Speaker:
00:00:16
What vibes with us, where we're at.
Speaker:
00:00:20
But Yakov hasn't always been in this place.
Speaker:
00:00:23
You know, some of us look and go, dude, you got a silver spoon, you got it made.
Speaker:
00:00:27
If only you knew the place I'm coming from.
Speaker:
00:00:30
And you're gonna get to see where Yakov has come from.
Speaker:
00:00:33
What he's gone through probably resonates and mirrors what you
Speaker:
00:00:37
and I have gone through a lot more than you'd wanna believe.
Speaker:
00:00:41
So we're gonna get into some, some of it where it's like, Hey man, I
Speaker:
00:00:44
just feel anxious in social settings.
Speaker:
00:00:47
You know, I don't feel worthy.
Speaker:
00:00:49
Um, I just doubt myself.
Speaker:
00:00:51
And, and the things where it's.
Speaker:
00:00:55
You can even hit those points where it's like, I feel like I'm doing all the
Speaker:
00:00:58
right things, but nothing's clicking.
Speaker:
00:01:01
And you're gonna see for Yakov, he got to a point where it's
Speaker:
00:01:04
like he hit kind of that, that dark night of the soul, you know?
Speaker:
00:01:09
And, and things just went off almost like a floodlight on a football
Speaker:
00:01:13
field, you know, really shed light.
Speaker:
00:01:17
Made a big transition for him, so super excited to jump in here and and
Speaker:
00:01:21
hear more about his story and how he brought about that change in his life.
Speaker:
00:01:24
Yakov, how are you doing today, my friend?
Speaker:
00:01:26
Amazing.
Speaker:
00:01:27
What a pleasure to be here.
Speaker:
00:01:29
Absolutely, man.
Speaker:
00:01:30
So let's go ahead and we'll start off with what does life look like on the
Speaker:
00:01:34
professional side of things for you?
Speaker:
00:01:36
The
Speaker:
00:01:37
professional side of things.
Speaker:
00:01:38
I've been in the online space since 2015.
Speaker:
00:01:41
Um, built different offers, different businesses.
Speaker:
00:01:43
Right now I've got two different things that I'm focused on.
Speaker:
00:01:47
The main business, which I think depending on when this time this comes
Speaker:
00:01:51
out, I may already be transitioned out of, but I mean, in motion on
Speaker:
00:01:54
that, that helps people raise capital for private equity and real estate.
Speaker:
00:01:59
And then the other business is a project called Abundant Alliance.
Speaker:
00:02:03
Essentially helps people live more abundantly, and we can
Speaker:
00:02:05
unpack what that means as well.
Speaker:
00:02:07
Um, and it's not just helping people make more money, it's about helping
Speaker:
00:02:11
people truly experience abundance of time, relationships, freedom,
Speaker:
00:02:14
satisfaction, and really living in a more alive and aligned way.
Speaker:
00:02:21
And very different than, uh, than where things were.
Speaker:
00:02:25
Right?
Speaker:
00:02:26
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:02:26
It's like, dude, that's like a, uh, opposite side of the coin.
Speaker:
00:02:29
180 degrees there.
Speaker:
00:02:31
Um, well, let's, let's talk about on the personal side, so more of
Speaker:
00:02:35
the relationships and, you know, what is the abundance in that look
Speaker:
00:02:40
like that you're teaching everybody?
Speaker:
00:02:41
What does that look like for you in your life?
Speaker:
00:02:43
How you brought abundance into the, the personal side?
Speaker:
00:02:47
Yeah, so it's having a few really close friends where there's
Speaker:
00:02:50
true depth of connection and one of those friends is female.
Speaker:
00:02:55
And it's not someone that I'm dating, it's like a sister to me.
Speaker:
00:02:57
But I think like for a lot of people listening, I don't think there's anything
Speaker:
00:03:01
wrong with having woman friends actually think a man should have at least one
Speaker:
00:03:04
or two female friends where it's like, and when I say female friends, it's.
Speaker:
00:03:12
Vibe, right?
Speaker:
00:03:13
It's like having a family member because there's a lot that men can
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00:03:15
learn from women and vice versa.
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00:03:18
Um, so I've got a few guy friends.
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00:03:20
Occasionally I'll go out to events.
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00:03:22
Um, actually I was dating someone or recording this here in early February.
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00:03:26
I was dating someone over the holidays.
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00:03:28
That relationship ended.
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00:03:30
It was short.
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00:03:31
Um, but having more abundance.
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00:03:33
I think dating is a topic that a lot of men like obsess over or think about,
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00:03:37
and I think abundance in that area, it doesn't necessarily mean that you
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00:03:40
have to go out and like date a bunch of women if you don't wanna, but it's
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00:03:43
coming from the place of worthiness and being enough and being clear on
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00:03:47
what you like and what you don't like.
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00:03:50
Yeah.
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00:03:50
That clarity on who you are and mm-hmm.
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00:03:53
What really fits with where you're going and, and how you see yourself.
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00:03:57
Man, I think that's.
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00:03:59
Just really puts a strain on the relationship and our internal
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00:04:04
conversations as well, man.
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00:04:06
You were in your late teens and you.
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00:04:11
At a point you start, you know, investing and really looking at personal
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00:04:16
development or you're wanting that growth to kind of figure out some
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00:04:20
things you're facing at that time.
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00:04:22
And it's like, I'm not satisfied with, with where my life is or who I am.
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00:04:28
Um, you know, you're looking for change for that key to bring
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00:04:33
about the transformation in
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00:04:36
to.
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00:04:38
You know, like, um, what brought that on to, to go looking for personal development
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00:04:44
and then, you know, did, did that search, you know, reading all the books
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00:04:49
and investing all the money, did that bring about what you were looking for?
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00:04:54
Well, if I were to look at it now, what really brought it about, and my answer
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00:04:58
would've been different back then.
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00:05:00
But the real answer is love, right?
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00:05:03
Self love, um, seeing my potential, having faith, having hope, having
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00:05:07
trust, um, seeing that maybe just, maybe there were possibilities.
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00:05:12
I think growing up, one of my core things that didn't really click
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00:05:16
till my late teens that I started the personal development journey
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00:05:19
was that I had some control.
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00:05:21
And the word is agency.
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00:05:22
I like to use that word over my reality.
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00:05:25
Right.
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00:05:25
And I think for a lot of people, um, growing up as men, especially
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00:05:30
if they're from small towns or more traditional families, where, you
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00:05:35
know, there's like a set path where you think that there's a limit on how
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00:05:38
many options you have in front of you.
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00:05:40
Or if you're not good at something that you then can't do anything about it.
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00:05:45
And my, one of my first breakthrough moments, I wasn't good socially growing
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00:05:50
up, and I wouldn't even say wasn't good socially is a way to put it, simple terms,
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00:05:55
but it's not that I was good or bad at it, it was just that like my self image.
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00:06:00
Created a self-fulfilling prophecy that that's what it was.
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00:06:03
Uh, I think we all have innate like skills.
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00:06:07
It's just like they were hidden under a pile.
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00:06:09
I mean, essentially right.
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00:06:11
Baggage.
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00:06:13
And so my first time dipping my toe into personal development water, I had a
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00:06:18
friend, this was back when I was 16, 17.
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00:06:21
I had a friend and he's like, Hey, you know, why don't you date anyone?
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00:06:24
I was like, what do you mean?
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00:06:26
He's like, well, you should talk to girls.
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00:06:27
Like what am I gonna talk to them about?
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00:06:28
That was my like, what am I gonna talk to them about?
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00:06:31
It's like literally that, that's, that's what I said, right?
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00:06:34
Because I, my self-image and self-image is so important, creating a reality.
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00:06:38
My self-image of a was a guy who didn't know how to talk to girls,
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00:06:42
who wasn't attractive to girls who, um, didn't have anything to
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00:06:45
quote unquote offer girls, right?
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00:06:47
These were all like subconscious beliefs, right?
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00:06:49
And he's like, well, you gotta read this book.
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00:06:51
And so he gave me this book, and I'm sure a lot of people listening have
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00:06:54
heard of this book called The Game.
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00:06:55
Um, by Neil Strauss.
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00:06:57
It was written back in 2005.
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00:06:59
And do I recommend reading the book as entertainment?
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00:07:01
Sure.
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00:07:01
But it's not like back then I thought it was just how-to manual and they were
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00:07:04
like magic tricks that you could use to all of a sudden, you know, talk to girls.
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00:07:08
And a big turning point for me, I read it over the weekend.
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00:07:12
I absolutely just gobbled it up.
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00:07:15
The real reason why it resonated with it though was because for the first time in.
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00:07:21
Ever.
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00:07:21
Maybe I had this, like hope, I had this like, wait a minute, I have this problem.
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00:07:27
It sucked for so many years.
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00:07:30
Um, but maybe there's a solution that I didn't know existed.
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00:07:33
It blew my mind.
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00:07:34
Right?
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00:07:35
And oftentimes that's the start of what we call paradigm ship, right?
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00:07:37
My paradigm was X, Y, and Z, and all of a sudden I was like, wait,
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00:07:41
this other guy did this other thing.
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00:07:43
Maybe there's something I can do about it as well, because if it worked
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00:07:46
for him, maybe it'll work for me.
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00:07:48
And I think that was the first turning point of me actually
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00:07:51
doing something about it.
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00:07:52
And this is really, really important.
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00:07:54
I read the book, but it's not like I read it and just, you know, did a
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00:07:58
bunch of research and Googling and just like didn't do anything with it.
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00:08:02
Immediately on Monday, I came back to school.
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00:08:04
I went to the library during lunch.
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00:08:06
First girl that I saw sat down and started talking to her, and it went well.
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00:08:12
It wasn't like, you know, love at first sight and like, I don't think I ever
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00:08:15
saw the girl again, but it went well.
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00:08:17
It was a positive experience.
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00:08:18
It was positive reinforcement.
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00:08:20
I said, whoa, this stuff works.
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00:08:22
But it wasn't about the stuff.
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00:08:23
It was about me just boldly putting myself out there.
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00:08:26
And connecting.
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00:08:28
It's not, it's not rocket science.
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00:08:30
It wasn't about like the fancy routines or magic tricks or any of that.
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00:08:33
BS was like, whoa, if that works, then what else can I change?
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00:08:37
And so that's where I developed this sort of like love for personal growth.
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00:08:42
It's like that first win.
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00:08:43
I think oftentimes if you feel like you're stuck in a rut or you know, you're
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00:08:47
trying a lot of different things, that first win, that first breadcrumb for
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00:08:51
me and for a lot of men when we first taste that momentum, if something's
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00:08:55
really important to us, we double down.
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00:08:56
We'll do whatever it takes.
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00:08:58
Right?
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00:08:58
So that led to this like almost obsession with personal development.
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00:09:02
Read so many books.
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00:09:05
All these different things.
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00:09:06
The issue though, the issue and looking back several years later, you know,
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00:09:11
after I had invested over a hundred thousand in seminars, events, coaches,
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00:09:15
books, all these different things, the problem was I still didn't love myself.
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00:09:18
Right?
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00:09:19
That was, that was the problem.
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00:09:20
And the problem was there was still issues with self-image.
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00:09:22
And so I think the whole self-help world is a wonderful world.
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00:09:26
It's a big industry.
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00:09:27
You and I are part of that industry as well.
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00:09:29
And at the same time, what it doesn't talk about.
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00:09:33
Is this concept of becoming a match to your desired results on a
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00:09:37
deeper, on a quantum level, right?
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00:09:40
That's not talked about.
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00:09:41
And that is, if there's one solution to any problem that universally is true,
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00:09:48
let's say if you want a desired result and you become a match to it on a quantum
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00:09:52
energetic level, the result will show up.
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00:09:56
Right?
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00:09:56
And I think for anyone listening who doesn't have a result, they want in the.
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00:10:01
That's not debatable, whether you believe it or not.
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00:10:02
It's true.
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00:10:03
It's the most reassuring thing to know because that gives you the opportunity to
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00:10:08
shift things, gives you the opportunity to change, gives you the opportunity to
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00:10:11
transform like we're talking about here.
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00:10:13
Hmm.
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00:10:15
So is you're sitting there kind of like coming to that realization like,
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00:10:21
Hey, I'm, I am not loving myself.
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00:10:24
Right.
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00:10:24
There's that self self hatred or that self-loathing and.
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00:10:28
If we spilled something right, man, why can't you ever get it right?
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00:10:33
Why are you so clumsy?
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00:10:35
Is that kind of like self-deprecating, you know, talk that negative
Speaker:
00:10:41
self speak, is that necessarily a sign of like the self-hatred or.
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00:10:47
Or like, how do you tell, hey, I'm not in love with myself, like you're talking
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00:10:51
about is the thing that's missing.
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00:10:53
How do you get there and realize that that's the boat you're in?
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00:10:57
Well, there's different levels to it.
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00:10:59
It's not a yes or no.
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00:11:00
It's more like, imagine there's like a thousand levels to it, right?
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00:11:03
And you may be on level 10 and like maybe your next level is level 11, right?
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00:11:07
And then level a thousand.
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00:11:08
Now all of a sudden there's 10,000 more levels.
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00:11:10
So there's, it's a limitless journey, and there is layers and layers of depth.
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00:11:15
As far as like how self-loathing shows up, I think the self-talk, if you
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00:11:19
can consciously hear, you're like, wait, what am I saying to myself?
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00:11:21
But I think a lot of people would just run on autopilot, right?
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00:11:24
We all have those moments.
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00:11:25
I'll tell you like, you know, my reality right now, my self-talk,
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00:11:29
and we all have our moments, right?
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00:11:30
I'm not saying every day is like just perfect, but my self-talk
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00:11:34
instead of saying like, oh, you know, you suck or whatever.
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00:11:36
It's more like, come on big man, get it together.
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00:11:38
Like that's, that's as as negative as I'll get.
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00:11:41
Yeah.
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00:11:42
And so that's something that's taken years and years.
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00:11:45
So the realization, um, where things really escalated was at about 25, 26
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00:11:52
years old, I met someone and I was in a relationship of almost two years,
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00:11:55
a very interesting relationship.
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00:11:56
This person was like a spiritual teacher and like she had this online business
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00:12:00
In a lot of ways, I think sometimes we date people because we have, they have
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00:12:03
things that we admire about ourselves in them, and we sometimes project
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00:12:07
things about ourselves onto them.
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00:12:10
And so we had this relationship and you know, it very much became like my.
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00:12:17
Like, I was just so immersed and it was fundamentally flawed.
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00:12:20
There was a big age difference.
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00:12:21
There were some other things that weren't quite aligned, like looking
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00:12:24
back and after the relationship, that's when I was like devastated.
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00:12:28
Like I remember just sitting on the couch like sobbing.
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00:12:31
Like it was just, it was like you could feel the physical pain, like
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00:12:36
you could feel, you know, the pain in, in the heart area and like just
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00:12:40
there was this heaviness, right?
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00:12:42
And I thought because we had a couple breakups before.
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00:12:46
Um, but we ended up getting back together and I had thought, you know, and I, I knew
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00:12:50
that this time was different, but I had thought to myself that, you know, if we.
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00:12:56
If we broke up, the solution would be go out and like date someone else.
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00:13:00
That was the last thing I wanted to do.
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00:13:01
I didn't wanna eat, I didn't wanna do anything.
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00:13:03
I just, you know, wanted to sit around and cry.
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00:13:05
And it was just like a lot of sadness and a lot of the sadness came because
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00:13:08
I, you know, I was telling myself I could have done this differently.
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00:13:10
I could have done this differently.
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00:13:12
You know, I messed that up.
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00:13:13
How could I do that?
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00:13:14
You know?
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00:13:14
And I felt like I really messed everything up.
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00:13:17
And so I found a book.
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00:13:19
And I think sometimes one of the most amazing things we can do is just like,
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00:13:22
follow our intuition, trust our gut.
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00:13:24
Right.
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00:13:24
And I think the more we do that, the more positive experiences we
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00:13:27
have, the more that multiplies.
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00:13:28
We do that more and more.
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00:13:29
And so for me, like I went on amazon.com and there's two books
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00:13:33
that really, really highly recommend.
Speaker:
00:13:35
One is called The Breakup Manual for Men.
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00:13:38
Um, I'm sure it's still around, but like if anyone's listening to
Speaker:
00:13:40
this and they're in the midst of a breakup, that was the first book that
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00:13:43
I read was really, really helpful.
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00:13:45
The second book, there's also one on dealing with grief, but like
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00:13:48
in terms of breakups, the second book that's really powerful, it's
Speaker:
00:13:51
called Radical Self-Forgiveness.
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00:13:53
And so I, Amazon, I searched on Amazon.
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00:13:56
I was like, forgiveness, like what's gonna come up, right?
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00:13:58
Because I didn't know how to forgive myself.
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00:13:59
I didn't know how to forget.
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00:14:00
I didn't have a process, a tool.
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00:14:02
Or forgiving myself for forgiving others.
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00:14:04
I, I just didn't have a tool.
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00:14:05
Don't ever talk.
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00:14:05
They don't teach it in school.
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00:14:06
It's like, how do you forgive people?
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00:14:08
You know?
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00:14:08
And like religious, sometimes they'll say forgiveness is, well, how do you do it?
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00:14:13
Like, what's the process?
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00:14:14
Right.
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00:14:14
You can say it.
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00:14:16
And I needed a process because I had so much anger at myself.
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00:14:18
Right?
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00:14:18
So much inner resentment.
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00:14:20
And so this book, which is worth reading, it has several exercises that it's a very,
Speaker:
00:14:25
um, one of my favorite spiritual books.
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00:14:27
There's a exercise in there called The Three Letters.
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00:14:29
And so I'd write these letters.
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00:14:31
And so what it does is just to give you like a high, high level overview, and I
Speaker:
00:14:35
recommend reading the book either way.
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00:14:37
But the first letter comes from the inner judge, right?
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00:14:40
So it's like you let yourself have it, right?
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00:14:42
I think sometimes there's a saying, what you resist, persist, right?
Speaker:
00:14:46
Yourself.
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00:14:46
Have.
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00:14:47
You write the angriest, nastiest letter, all does.
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00:14:51
You let yourself talk, go as nasty as it can.
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00:14:53
You put that on paper, you type it out and you feel the emotions when, okay,
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00:14:59
and that's how start to release energy.
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00:15:01
Okay.
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00:15:02
The second letter is from the Inner lover, so that's where you are
Speaker:
00:15:05
just like your own biggest fan.
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00:15:07
And sometimes that's a hard letter to write, right?
Speaker:
00:15:09
Because if you're coming, but when you really start to transmute the energy,
Speaker:
00:15:13
you're like, well, wait a minute.
Speaker:
00:15:14
Maybe it was this, maybe it was that.
Speaker:
00:15:16
And then the third letter is from higher self, right?
Speaker:
00:15:18
It really puts things more like objective.
Speaker:
00:15:20
Perspective.
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00:15:21
And so that exercise is one of these tools.
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00:15:23
And I finally, and I didn't find this in the self-help world, but
Speaker:
00:15:27
these were essentially spiritual tools that helped release things
Speaker:
00:15:31
on an energetic level, right?
Speaker:
00:15:33
And so earlier, you know how I was talking about you have
Speaker:
00:15:34
to be a match for it, right?
Speaker:
00:15:36
So to become a match for something, there's only two things you could
Speaker:
00:15:39
do to really simplify it down.
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00:15:40
You can release something or you can create something.
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00:15:43
And oftentimes releasing is the place to start.
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00:15:46
So that helped me release a lot.
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00:15:48
Um.
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00:15:49
Elevated my consciousness, elevated my self-love awareness, and it opened
Speaker:
00:15:53
the doors to so many possibilities.
Speaker:
00:15:55
So I think it's something that plagues a lot of men, is this
Speaker:
00:15:58
self-loathing, this negative self-talk.
Speaker:
00:16:01
And you know, the very first thing, it's not a binary thing.
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00:16:04
It's not like you're either a master at it or you suck at it.
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00:16:07
No, there's like, it's a range.
Speaker:
00:16:08
There's levels and it's like working a muscle, right?
Speaker:
00:16:11
If you think you can make your bicep bigger at the, at.
Speaker:
00:16:14
So
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00:16:16
as you read the book.
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00:16:19
You wrote the letters.
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00:16:20
Yeah.
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00:16:21
And you're then beginning to, you know, forgive yourself
Speaker:
00:16:25
to actually love who you are.
Speaker:
00:16:27
Instead of having that self-loathing, self-hatred, you're having self-love.
Speaker:
00:16:31
How did you continue to work that muscle beyond that point so that
Speaker:
00:16:37
it's like, you know, you, you've got that foundation to build from?
Speaker:
00:16:40
I
Speaker:
00:16:41
keep writing the letters like even now, like if I'm, if I'm feeling
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00:16:45
like if I'm, if I'm feeling crunchy about it, I'll write the letters.
Speaker:
00:16:48
It's good.
Speaker:
00:16:49
And also there's a great book called Letting Go.
Speaker:
00:16:51
Um, it's about teaches the technique for like releasing energy, right?
Speaker:
00:16:55
Because all it is is just stuck energy.
Speaker:
00:16:57
And you know that once that's released, you just feel so much lighter.
Speaker:
00:17:00
So it's an ongoing practice.
Speaker:
00:17:03
And also in the moment, if you can catch yourself doing it and switch in the.
Speaker:
00:17:10
Ironically, I think there's a lot of negative self-talk around
Speaker:
00:17:12
negative self-talk, right?
Speaker:
00:17:13
It's like this meta thing where it's like, you know, a lot of guys are like, well
Speaker:
00:17:17
know I'm talking negatively to myself, and they beat themselves up for doing that.
Speaker:
00:17:20
It's like, you know, it, it compounds, it creates the spiral.
Speaker:
00:17:24
So it's an ongoing practice.
Speaker:
00:17:27
I think it's also reinforcing the image of who you'd like to become . Right.
Speaker:
00:17:32
That's a really key thing.
Speaker:
00:17:33
And understanding you're gonna make mistakes and that's okay.
Speaker:
00:17:37
It's data, it's getting, getting data, getting data faster.
Speaker:
00:17:41
Um.
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00:17:43
Just taking things a little more lightly as well.
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00:17:45
I think like sometimes it's easy to like dwell on things.
Speaker:
00:17:50
I think dwelling is actually one of the worst things someone can do, right?
Speaker:
00:17:53
I mean, let yourself process something, but oftentimes taking action.
Speaker:
00:17:59
Raise the energy of something.
Speaker:
00:18:00
Right?
Speaker:
00:18:01
And that's really where, you know, if you go from that place to
Speaker:
00:18:05
taking action, there's a framework called the Map of consciousness.
Speaker:
00:18:09
Um, if people are familiar, they can, they can Google it.
Speaker:
00:18:11
There, there's a lot of great stuff out there.
Speaker:
00:18:14
And it's simply, you know, if you're in a place of sadness,
Speaker:
00:18:17
sadness is a lower emotion.
Speaker:
00:18:19
You're not, you're not gonna go to love necessarily in, within a minute,
Speaker:
00:18:23
but you can go from sadness to anger.
Speaker:
00:18:25
Anger has a lot more energy than sadness from anger.
Speaker:
00:18:27
You go up to pride, right?
Speaker:
00:18:29
And then the next level.
Speaker:
00:18:30
So it's just managing that.
Speaker:
00:18:32
Um, and again, I think there's layers and layers to it, but it's, I believe it's
Speaker:
00:18:37
a skill set that more men need to know.
Speaker:
00:18:39
It's, you know, it's working that muscle.
Speaker:
00:18:43
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:18:44
Do find as you've written those letters that like it becomes easier, like you're
Speaker:
00:18:50
getting that clarity in what you want to say versus when you first did it.
Speaker:
00:18:56
I'm assuming like when you first did the, the, the first one, was it like
Speaker:
00:19:01
the self-love, was that the hardest one to write, like the second letter?
Speaker:
00:19:04
Was that the hardest one to write at that time?
Speaker:
00:19:07
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:19:08
The, the key thing with the letters is it can be, depending on how charged a
Speaker:
00:19:12
topic is in the moment, like it's really important to like, feel the emotion
Speaker:
00:19:18
out and just let yourself go there.
Speaker:
00:19:19
That's the biggest thing to me.
Speaker:
00:19:20
It's almost like taking a shower.
Speaker:
00:19:22
Like sometimes I'm like, I feel a little heavy and then I, I'm like,
Speaker:
00:19:25
oh, do I really need to sit there and write some letters or process it?
Speaker:
00:19:27
Yes.
Speaker:
00:19:28
Answer is yes, it could take five minutes, 10 minutes, doesn't have to
Speaker:
00:19:31
be this long thing, but it's doing something in the 3D taking an action
Speaker:
00:19:36
to release that and to feel better.
Speaker:
00:19:39
Right?
Speaker:
00:19:40
Um, so it's like, you know, people carry around so much emotional baggage
Speaker:
00:19:45
and it's kind of like, you know, would you go days without shower?
Speaker:
00:19:48
If you go days just like smelling and being dirty, of course not.
Speaker:
00:19:51
And yet, very few people, you know, if you look at collective society, have
Speaker:
00:19:56
the, have tools like this that they can use to cleanse themselves and feel
Speaker:
00:20:01
better without numbing, by the way.
Speaker:
00:20:02
Right.
Speaker:
00:20:03
Notice we're not talking about doing drugs or getting drunk or anything like that.
Speaker:
00:20:07
No.
Speaker:
00:20:07
It, it's sitting with something, going through a process and showering
Speaker:
00:20:11
off that low energy, that heaviness.
Speaker:
00:20:16
So in essence, we're not supposed to do, like we see too many teen
Speaker:
00:20:20
boys that skip the shower, that use ax and just, uh, kind of mask that.
Speaker:
00:20:24
You're saying that's not healthy to do emotionally.
Speaker:
00:20:26
Is that what I'm hearing there?
Speaker:
00:20:28
I think, I think most guys do that emotionally.
Speaker:
00:20:29
They, they, they spray on the ax to where they walk into the
Speaker:
00:20:33
room, they wreak of everyone.
Speaker:
00:20:34
Like who, what's that?
Speaker:
00:20:37
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:20:38
Oh man.
Speaker:
00:20:40
Well, as, as you've, you know, you got to that point, post-breakup.
Speaker:
00:20:45
You're coming into this point of, you know, self love.
Speaker:
00:20:48
Did that then change your.
Speaker:
00:20:52
Your image of your worthiness and and who you are as well alongside of it?
Speaker:
00:20:56
Or was that something that you had to do different to, to find your worthiness?
Speaker:
00:21:01
Yeah, completely went in tandem.
Speaker:
00:21:03
It completely elevated that worthiness relationship with self, self love, all
Speaker:
00:21:07
the things, all the things came together.
Speaker:
00:21:09
Um, raised my standards for myself.
Speaker:
00:21:12
Just gave me more confidence in being able to deal and process emotions.
Speaker:
00:21:17
I mean, that's a, you know, a lot of guys aren't scared of physical altercations
Speaker:
00:21:22
or doing like crazy stuff or like, you know, any of those types of things.
Speaker:
00:21:26
But when it comes to processing emotions, that can be a.
Speaker:
00:21:29
A scary place for a guy, right?
Speaker:
00:21:31
Because it's, it's less familiar and it's not necessarily even having
Speaker:
00:21:35
to do with the body, it's the mind.
Speaker:
00:21:36
And even on a deeper level of soul, right?
Speaker:
00:21:38
And this is more mysterious type of territory.
Speaker:
00:21:41
So, and I'm not saying, just to be very clear, I'm not saying to be doing this all
Speaker:
00:21:45
day, like, oh, you gotta process emotions.
Speaker:
00:21:48
Go, I'm, I'm not saying that, but I am saying just like if you're
Speaker:
00:21:52
starting at zero, get to one.
Speaker:
00:21:54
That's the biggest thing, just like building a muscle, right?
Speaker:
00:21:56
If someone's overweight or someone's like, you know, super skinny and
Speaker:
00:22:00
they're going to the gym for the first time, you're not gonna expect them to
Speaker:
00:22:02
be able to do big things at the gym.
Speaker:
00:22:05
But you gotta start somewhere, right?
Speaker:
00:22:06
So it's, it's having tools, right?
Speaker:
00:22:10
It's having practices, things you can rely on, and also being
Speaker:
00:22:14
there for yourself that, you know, you can depend on yourself.
Speaker:
00:22:17
You need to take a moment, you can give yourself that space.
Speaker:
00:22:22
Yeah, and I think the one important thing here to like really point out
Speaker:
00:22:26
is it's, you know, you're talking about going to the mus, going to
Speaker:
00:22:29
the gym, and working the muscles.
Speaker:
00:22:31
You are not just learning, you are taking action.
Speaker:
00:22:35
You have to, you know, it's like you're removing it from just the
Speaker:
00:22:39
theoretical phase to the practical, Hey, let's, let's see if this works,
Speaker:
00:22:44
and what kind of a impact does it have?
Speaker:
00:22:48
And the world around me because it's like, dude, you can't move, you know,
Speaker:
00:22:52
uh, like try and steer a parked car.
Speaker:
00:22:55
Uh, we're in essence that car.
Speaker:
00:22:57
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:22:57
And unless we're taking action, it's all gonna remain theoretical.
Speaker:
00:23:03
You know, we stay the same as who we, who we are, who we have been.
Speaker:
00:23:08
Um, it's putting into practice and trying it out.
Speaker:
00:23:11
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:23:13
I'm assuming then, like the next step is giving ourselves grace, um, to like
Speaker:
00:23:19
not do things correctly out of the gate.
Speaker:
00:23:23
Right.
Speaker:
00:23:23
To, to, you know, like if, if we're figuring out an emotional bicep curl,
Speaker:
00:23:28
we may not have our form in line.
Speaker:
00:23:30
Is that right?
Speaker:
00:23:31
Yeah, of
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00:23:31
course.
Speaker:
00:23:32
Yeah, it takes practice honing it in different things,
Speaker:
00:23:35
working with different people.
Speaker:
00:23:36
There's different tools.
Speaker:
00:23:37
But I love what you said about actions.
Speaker:
00:23:38
It's like we go back to the metaphor showering, where if you think about
Speaker:
00:23:41
someone showering, imagine you have a guy who's sitting there at the gym
Speaker:
00:23:44
and he's thinking about showering.
Speaker:
00:23:45
He's thinking really hard.
Speaker:
00:23:47
He's reading articles about how to take the best shower, about, you know,
Speaker:
00:23:49
the best shampoo, body wash, but he never gets in the shower and days
Speaker:
00:23:53
go by, he is gonna smell terrible.
Speaker:
00:23:55
Right?
Speaker:
00:23:56
Same thing.
Speaker:
00:23:56
It's better to just do the act and, and get that process moving.
Speaker:
00:24:02
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:24:03
'cause otherwise it just stays in our head and doesn't transfer to who
Speaker:
00:24:06
we are or the actions that we take.
Speaker:
00:24:08
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:24:09
So as you like, start working through this, um, you know,
Speaker:
00:24:14
like transformation, right?
Speaker:
00:24:15
You're, you are totally changing, you're seeing yourself differently, you're
Speaker:
00:24:18
feeling about yourself differently.
Speaker:
00:24:21
How does the world around you change?
Speaker:
00:24:24
Or does it remain the same or are you seeing like, um.
Speaker:
00:24:29
Changes in relationships and career and, and different things like that.
Speaker:
00:24:33
It's not just all internal, we'll say.
Speaker:
00:24:36
Yeah, well definitely if you're not seeing changes in the outside
Speaker:
00:24:40
world, you're not doing it right.
Speaker:
00:24:41
You know?
Speaker:
00:24:42
So, and I don't, I don't say that everything's gonna change overnight,
Speaker:
00:24:46
but it's in the quantum, we call it the five D and the 3D, right?
Speaker:
00:24:50
So the five D is, you know, we can call it the universe, we can call
Speaker:
00:24:55
it, you know, somewhere out there the 3D, you can feel it, touch it.
Speaker:
00:24:58
Um, see it, you know, the, the five senses, right?
Speaker:
00:25:00
So if you're just feeling better, quote unquote, but
Speaker:
00:25:04
nothing different is showing up.
Speaker:
00:25:06
There's still a missing piece and sometimes it takes a little
Speaker:
00:25:09
while for things to show up.
Speaker:
00:25:10
There's patience, grace, like you mentioned, but typically you're gonna,
Speaker:
00:25:16
and you know, to get a little more metaphysical here 'cause why not?
Speaker:
00:25:20
Um, you're elevating your level of consciousness.
Speaker:
00:25:23
At different levels of consciousness, people attract
Speaker:
00:25:26
different types of things, right?
Speaker:
00:25:27
And so if you, you know, eradicate a pocket of lower energy, you're immediately
Speaker:
00:25:34
gonna make yourself more attractive.
Speaker:
00:25:36
I recorded a podcast episode.
Speaker:
00:25:37
I was like the secret F word that makes you more attractive.
Speaker:
00:25:40
Instantly like forgiveness, right?
Speaker:
00:25:42
It's, it's the process for releasing energy, right?
Speaker:
00:25:45
So definitely, you know, saw change at the time I had a big breakthrough
Speaker:
00:25:49
in business, you know, re redefined my offer, redefined like my structure
Speaker:
00:25:53
had, you know, bigger business and freed up more time at the same time.
Speaker:
00:25:56
So like, you know, all that came though because of shifting
Speaker:
00:26:00
my energy, who I was being.
Speaker:
00:26:02
First, right.
Speaker:
00:26:03
Didn't come from some crazy strategy or tactic first.
Speaker:
00:26:07
It came from shifting my energy first.
Speaker:
00:26:09
So that's a really big thing.
Speaker:
00:26:11
And yeah, this was in October of 2021.
Speaker:
00:26:14
Yeah, so like new revenue numbers, dating was just different.
Speaker:
00:26:19
I found that I was attracting.
Speaker:
00:26:21
In my eyes, a higher caliber of women, right?
Speaker:
00:26:24
Um, women who are more aligned.
Speaker:
00:26:26
I had more confidence in the value that I was providing, right?
Speaker:
00:26:29
So all these different things would transpire, new
Speaker:
00:26:32
friendships came about, right?
Speaker:
00:26:33
So a lot of great things.
Speaker:
00:26:35
Um, and I think that's available.
Speaker:
00:26:37
I, the way that I look at it, and I think this is gonna be helpful for everyone, is.
Speaker:
00:26:41
Imagine your current situation in anything like, let's say it's relationships,
Speaker:
00:26:45
career, whatever the case may be.
Speaker:
00:26:47
Imagine it if you think about like a swimming pool, right?
Speaker:
00:26:49
You think about a water park knows water parks.
Speaker:
00:26:51
They have like all these little pools next to each other, right?
Speaker:
00:26:54
So you're in a swimming pool right now.
Speaker:
00:26:55
You could be in the middle of the pool or you could just have one toe in.
Speaker:
00:26:58
But your current reality, whatever it looks like in the 3D or your
Speaker:
00:27:01
current situation, objectively, not how you feel about it, but
Speaker:
00:27:04
objectively, whatever that looks like you are in some sort of reality.
Speaker:
00:27:08
Right, and the very first step is understanding who's responsible for it.
Speaker:
00:27:13
That's gotta be the person in the mirror, right?
Speaker:
00:27:15
That's the first step to power, is more responsibility.
Speaker:
00:27:18
Okay?
Speaker:
00:27:18
So you're in this pool.
Speaker:
00:27:19
Now, depending on if you're in the middle of the pool, depending if
Speaker:
00:27:22
you've got just one toe in the water, there could be a pool right next
Speaker:
00:27:25
to you where you're on the cusp of experiencing a whole different reality.
Speaker:
00:27:30
And by shifting something, thoughts, words, and actions, typically combination.
Speaker:
00:27:35
Now you're experiencing a different reality in that area.
Speaker:
00:27:38
Right.
Speaker:
00:27:38
And again, only two ways to do it.
Speaker:
00:27:41
Release and create.
Speaker:
00:27:43
Okay.
Speaker:
00:27:43
When in doubt, release to receive.
Speaker:
00:27:45
Okay.
Speaker:
00:27:45
That's one of my favorite sayings.
Speaker:
00:27:46
Release to receive.
Speaker:
00:27:47
So if you're in a certain reality and like you shift energetically,
Speaker:
00:27:53
now you're going to the next pool.
Speaker:
00:27:54
But let's say you want something that's so, so far away, that's cool, but you
Speaker:
00:27:58
just have to go to a different water park.
Speaker:
00:28:00
So you're gonna head to the airport.
Speaker:
00:28:02
Like, if I wanted to go to a waterpark in Australia, it's, it's
Speaker:
00:28:04
available on planet Earth, right?
Speaker:
00:28:06
I just think I need to go to the airport first.
Speaker:
00:28:08
Probably need to take a connect flight.
Speaker:
00:28:09
It's gonna take me a few days, but I can have my feet in that pool
Speaker:
00:28:13
sooner rather than, it's just gonna take a lot more effort and energy.
Speaker:
00:28:16
Okay.
Speaker:
00:28:16
Because it's a, it's a bigger bridge that I need to build.
Speaker:
00:28:19
So that's a really important, remember that, um, anything that
Speaker:
00:28:23
you want right now that's in your highest interest is available.
Speaker:
00:28:28
It just may take multiple steps and the most important step is
Speaker:
00:28:32
always gonna be the next step.
Speaker:
00:28:35
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:28:35
Again, we're going right back to that action and not just being sedentary.
Speaker:
00:28:40
Yeah.
Speaker:
00:28:41
So you had mentioned there like our thoughts are words, are actions,
Speaker:
00:28:47
is you're making the change.
Speaker:
00:28:49
Like how did your words change in that process before it led up to that action?
Speaker:
00:28:55
Like what?
Speaker:
00:28:57
If I'm seeing like the thoughts take root correctly.
Speaker:
00:29:02
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:29:03
How is it going to show up in, in what I speak.
Speaker:
00:29:07
And is that just verbal or is that also like what I think
Speaker:
00:29:11
and I'm speaking internally?
Speaker:
00:29:13
Well, it's both and it's also the tone of what you say.
Speaker:
00:29:18
The tone, the speed, most communication people have
Speaker:
00:29:20
heard this is nonverbal, right?
Speaker:
00:29:22
So that's a big part of it as well.
Speaker:
00:29:24
Um, I think a big part of being a man is honoring your commitments.
Speaker:
00:29:28
So, and this is where a lot of confidence comes from too, because if you're, you're
Speaker:
00:29:32
saying you're gonna do something and you don't do it, you start leaking confidence.
Speaker:
00:29:35
It's just, uh.
Speaker:
00:29:37
It's just the objective reality, right?
Speaker:
00:29:38
So I started paying a lot more attention.
Speaker:
00:29:40
I was like, if I say I'm gonna do that, I have to do that to honor that commitment.
Speaker:
00:29:43
Right.
Speaker:
00:29:44
Have to do it.
Speaker:
00:29:44
You know, sometimes it can be, being on time can be an example of that.
Speaker:
00:29:47
If you say, I'm gonna meet this person at this time, showing up at that time.
Speaker:
00:29:51
Right.
Speaker:
00:29:51
And is it always perfect all the time?
Speaker:
00:29:53
No, but the same time it's adhering to that standard.
Speaker:
00:29:56
Right.
Speaker:
00:29:57
And.
Speaker:
00:29:59
Anyone listening, you can elevate your greatness, right?
Speaker:
00:30:02
The standard that you hold yourself to.
Speaker:
00:30:05
And now if you find yourself saying, I'm around, you know, toxic people or
Speaker:
00:30:09
like, these people don't understand me, will elevate your standard first,
Speaker:
00:30:12
and then the people are either gonna elevate also or they're gonna go away.
Speaker:
00:30:15
That's just the way it works, right?
Speaker:
00:30:17
So I think the actions.
Speaker:
00:30:20
There is a cadence, there's a focus that can come there.
Speaker:
00:30:23
Right?
Speaker:
00:30:24
And also just like understanding what's the point of the action, right?
Speaker:
00:30:28
Because how many things do we do when we go about our days on a subconscious
Speaker:
00:30:32
level that we're not even aware of, right?
Speaker:
00:30:34
It could be like scrolling on your phone, you're sitting in traffic, right?
Speaker:
00:30:37
Did you have to think about doing that?
Speaker:
00:30:39
No.
Speaker:
00:30:39
So it's like these little things, your habit starts to change.
Speaker:
00:30:42
You start to evolve.
Speaker:
00:30:45
So it's.
Speaker:
00:30:47
Being aware and then being intentional and taking action
Speaker:
00:30:52
from that is what I'm getting.
Speaker:
00:30:54
Mm-hmm.
Speaker:
00:30:55
From what you're saying, because otherwise, if I just read it but I
Speaker:
00:31:00
don't speak it or take the action, I'm gonna stay in the same place,
Speaker:
00:31:03
continue to be frustrated and be like, that stuff didn't work like
Speaker:
00:31:07
we've done with so many other things.
Speaker:
00:31:09
So how long did it take for you to start.
Speaker:
00:31:14
Seeing change in your life, was it like 30 days, six months, a year?
Speaker:
00:31:19
Like, um, I know you had talked about when you got the, the book and you took
Speaker:
00:31:24
action the next day and talking to a girl, it was like, Hey, here's some change.
Speaker:
00:31:28
How long did it take to, to start seeing change?
Speaker:
00:31:31
Immediately, like, you know, I started seeing little things,
Speaker:
00:31:34
different people show up.
Speaker:
00:31:35
I started, you know, doing different activities and then to really
Speaker:
00:31:37
like that change in the business, that one took about three months.
Speaker:
00:31:41
Wow.
Speaker:
00:31:42
Um, so it can happen very, very quickly.
Speaker:
00:31:45
Um.
Speaker:
00:31:46
I think anytime we're going through transformation though, it's more or
Speaker:
00:31:49
less zigzagged in a straight line.
Speaker:
00:31:50
Right?
Speaker:
00:31:50
That's really important to remember too, because sometimes, you know,
Speaker:
00:31:53
there's little bumps on the road.
Speaker:
00:31:54
There's like, it's that transition type of stuff, right?
Speaker:
00:31:57
So that's key as well.
Speaker:
00:31:59
Um, I think the idea of overnight change is a little ridiculous.
Speaker:
00:32:04
Although if someone is on the cusp of back to our swimming pools, if
Speaker:
00:32:08
you're right next to another pool and you've only got your toe in the
Speaker:
00:32:10
water and you make one shift, now the scale tips, now you're in a. So it
Speaker:
00:32:15
is possible depending on how close.
Speaker:
00:32:20
Um, just, I'm thinking of like, you know, practically where people are at listening.
Speaker:
00:32:25
Like if they wanted to change something, the, the quickest way to change
Speaker:
00:32:28
something is to release something else.
Speaker:
00:32:30
It's the quickest, most powerful, most proven way.
Speaker:
00:32:33
Right?
Speaker:
00:32:33
And I think so many people are focused on creating, and we can talk
Speaker:
00:32:36
about that too, what that looks like on a more quantum level as well.
Speaker:
00:32:40
But you know, a lot of guys, if you've heard the word
Speaker:
00:32:42
manifestation, for example, right?
Speaker:
00:32:44
It's a very loaded word.
Speaker:
00:32:47
The best way to start that process of shifting the current situation to release.
Speaker:
00:32:53
Okay.
Speaker:
00:32:54
Can start with releasing attachment, but releasing energy.
Speaker:
00:32:57
I think having a process for that, just like letting go,
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00:32:59
you'll be lighter, you'll be more attractive, you'll feel differently.
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00:33:04
It opens up the door for creativity, right?
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00:33:06
It's just like, you know, if you have a plate and you have a full plate,
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00:33:09
nothing else fits on the plate, you know, but you wanna put more food
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00:33:13
on there, you need another plate.
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00:33:14
Or you could just clear the plate and then put dessert on there, right?
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00:33:17
So that's a really, really important thing.
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00:33:21
So what actions bring about that release is this kind of like the forgiveness
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00:33:26
or like, what, what do you, what should we be looking to do to bring that
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00:33:31
release instead of creating things?
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00:33:34
So the three letters technique is a great technique.
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00:33:37
The letting go technique is great.
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00:33:38
There's some stuff in it.
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00:33:39
Neurolinguistic programming NLP tool that people can use as well.
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00:33:43
Um, the easiest way if someone, just like the most rudimentary thing,
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00:33:47
if you were to teach a child how to do this, either a laugh or cry.
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00:33:52
Okay?
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00:33:53
So you find something that makes you hysterically laugh.
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00:33:57
It could be videos.
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00:33:59
It could be a movie, and that releases energy, right?
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00:34:02
You ever notice how when people are nervous, they start laughing
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00:34:04
because they're releasing energy or something that makes you cry?
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00:34:07
And for a lot of guys crying, you know, I know men who haven't cried
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00:34:10
in 20 years, and that's, if that's a hard thing for you, that's okay.
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00:34:13
Just use a different tool, right?
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00:34:15
That that's fine.
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00:34:16
But crying is a way of releasing.
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00:34:18
There's guided meditations out there, there's hypnosis, there's
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00:34:21
all these different tools.
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00:34:23
Also movement, right?
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00:34:24
Like another easy thing is you go to the gym, you release energy,
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00:34:28
you've probably done it to de-stress.
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00:34:29
That's 'cause you're releasing stuff, right?
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00:34:32
So that's the key thing.
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00:34:33
It's like, so if you feel stuck, the very first thing to do is like, okay,
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00:34:36
let's release release to receive.
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00:34:40
Yeah.
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00:34:40
So what I'm hearing is go jump on a roller coaster and have that
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00:34:44
nervous laugh to release that energy.
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00:34:46
Right, is true.
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00:34:48
Because that's, I mean, honestly, it's like how many times do you go to
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00:34:52
like an amusement park and it's like you've got this crazy roller coaster
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00:34:56
and there's somebody that's on it laughing because otherwise they're
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00:35:01
gonna be screaming and freaking out.
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00:35:02
Yeah.
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00:35:02
Because they're, they're outside of their comfort zone.
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00:35:05
Right.
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00:35:05
So yeah.
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00:35:07
Another thing someone can do.
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00:35:08
Speaking of screaming, just like, yeah, let out a, let
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00:35:11
out a yell, let out a scream.
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00:35:12
Just say it feels good sometimes.
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00:35:15
Yeah.
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00:35:16
Just changing that, uh, the emotional state you're in.
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00:35:20
Mm-hmm.
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00:35:21
Um, so well.
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00:35:24
So as you've continued going along along the process, Yakov, what have you
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00:35:29
seen that's a, you know, given you that additional traction, um, to continue
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00:35:36
growing and, um, you know, loving yourself and finding that self worth?
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00:35:41
I mean, like what has built that foundation and continued to level up?
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00:35:47
I think the consistency is key.
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00:35:48
I think like just anything, like with investing for
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00:35:51
example, things compound, right?
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00:35:52
So actions compound, that's really key.
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00:35:56
Um, and anytime you slip up or you know, don't do something quite
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00:36:01
up to your standard, it's okay.
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00:36:03
It's like, like letting that go faster.
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00:36:05
Okay.
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00:36:06
And not ignoring, like, if you're feeling heavy, you're feeling like
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00:36:08
re you gotta release, gotta release.
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00:36:11
Don't let it drag out.
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00:36:11
And if you're busy throughout the day, do it at night, but do it in the morning.
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00:36:14
Release.
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00:36:15
Release.
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00:36:16
That's the the biggest thing.
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00:36:18
Um, I think for me too, like more recently, something that, it's a little
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00:36:22
nuanced, but I'll share this, is having operating systems for everything.
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00:36:27
Like literally I have Google Documents, this is my operating
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00:36:30
system for this thing.
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00:36:31
When in doubt, go look at the system, because what happens, and you mentioned
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00:36:36
different states, like if I'm in a, let's say I'm in an angry state, right?
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00:36:41
And I need to make a decision about something, that decision is
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00:36:44
probably gonna lead to more anger.
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00:36:46
It's not the best place to make that decision about, right?
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00:36:49
Versus if I'm in an, all I need to remember is, Hey, before I decide on
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00:36:53
this, or before I go and do this activity, let me look at the manual for it.
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00:36:56
Let me skim it.
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00:36:57
Immediately just so like it reminds me of that state and I make the operating
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00:37:01
system when I'm in a state that's of a higher energy in that thing, right?
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00:37:06
So for example, if I wanted to go on a date, for example, right?
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00:37:10
Just a really practical example.
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00:37:13
I have a document I can read.
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00:37:14
It reminds me of very important things, and then I go on the date.
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00:37:19
And it, and it sticks, right?
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00:37:21
Because I come from that place.
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00:37:23
And so I think, um, there's a lot of talk about peak performance, right?
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00:37:27
In this world.
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00:37:27
Like how do you optimize your performance?
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00:37:29
No one's talking about peak setup.
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00:37:31
How do you set yourself up to where you don't have to perform, where
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00:37:35
everything's rigged in your favor, right?
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00:37:37
So that's what I'm really big on, like setting things up.
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00:37:39
And I know you put me in a certain environment around
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00:37:42
certain people for long enough.
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00:37:44
I will sure enough, revert to a less than empowered state.
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00:37:48
And it's, it, it's, um, it's just the reality, right?
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00:37:51
So instead of fighting it, just don't put yourself in that environment, right?
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00:37:55
Set things up the right way.
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00:37:57
You know, that's such a big thing in any area.
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00:38:00
How are you setting things up?
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00:38:01
How are you setting up your day?
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00:38:02
You know, how are you setting up?
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00:38:03
How are you nourishing your body?
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00:38:05
Right?
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00:38:05
It's like having a operating, so you can always tweak the system.
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00:38:08
You can always refine it and adjust it, but when in doubt, stick to the operating
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00:38:12
system and set things up in your favor.
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00:38:15
Play to your strengths.
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00:38:18
So how do you go about creating that?
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00:38:20
So let's say somebody is getting ready to go to work.
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00:38:24
You know, that's, you wanna make sure you're coming in as charged as possible,
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00:38:28
you know, not charged in a negative way, like you're coming in, in anger with
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00:38:33
that, you've got that positive energy because sometimes work can be a drain,
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00:38:38
but how do you create that list to put yourself , consistently in the best place?
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00:38:44
So when you are, the key is to create the list when you're in a good place.
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00:38:49
If you to remember next time you're in a good place in that area, that's
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00:38:53
when you create the operating system.
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00:38:55
You don't create it in a neutral place, right, or a bad place, right?
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00:38:58
That's really important.
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00:38:59
So when you're in a good place, you recognize the
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00:39:02
patterns, you observe it, okay?
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00:39:03
What led to this?
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00:39:05
Okay.
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00:39:05
That's a really, really big thing.
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00:39:07
It's like, okay, so this is what created this.
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00:39:11
And like you look for the principles.
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00:39:13
There's a great book by Ray Dalio principles, there's
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00:39:15
principles to everything, right?
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00:39:16
So what are the principles to you being successful at work in this situation?
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00:39:19
Right?
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00:39:20
And what's the, what's the vibe that you wanna be in?
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00:39:23
Right?
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00:39:24
Meaning like, what's the.
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00:39:25
Emotional state.
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00:39:26
And sometimes, you know, I think actors are great, like method actors are great
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00:39:30
at really becoming someone else, right?
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00:39:32
So maybe when you are, let's say your work is in sales, right?
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00:39:35
And like there's a certain, there's a certain energy to being effective at
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00:39:40
sales and depending on the sales role, the customer, that can vary, right?
Speaker:
00:39:44
So one of the easiest things anyone can do is you pick a song
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00:39:48
that reminds you of that energy.
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00:39:49
And anytime you wanna get into that state, you play the song.
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00:39:52
Ideally, you loop the song again and again.
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00:39:54
So if you're driving somewhere, you loop it again and again, you remind
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00:39:57
yourself of those things going in.
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00:39:58
You're gonna be likely to be calibrating at that energy that you wanna be at.
Speaker:
00:40:04
So don't look for a low energy song.
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00:40:07
No ballads,
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00:40:09
depends on, depends on what you wanna do.
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00:40:10
If you're, if you need to do something that's like manual labor, like if you're
Speaker:
00:40:13
going to dig holes, for example, right?
Speaker:
00:40:16
Yeah.
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00:40:16
You probably want something that's like a little bit like feisty.
Speaker:
00:40:21
Like hip hop, hard rock, you know, if you're listening to classical
Speaker:
00:40:24
music, digging holes, it's.
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00:40:28
It
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00:40:29
better be something very intense if If that's the case.
Speaker:
00:40:32
Yeah, exactly.
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00:40:34
Yep.
Speaker:
00:40:35
Well, dude, Yakov, I appreciate your sharing your journey, the challenges
Speaker:
00:40:40
you were facing, and then how it's like, you know, that forgiveness, that
Speaker:
00:40:43
self-love, letting go of that self hatred.
Speaker:
00:40:47
And then just turning into how do I create plans, you know, these checklists and.
Speaker:
00:40:53
You know, uh, operating systems as you called them, for setting
Speaker:
00:40:57
myself up for success in different situations and different environments.
Speaker:
00:41:01
Dude, I appreciate you sharing all that.
Speaker:
00:41:03
And if guys are looking to connect outside of this podcast, how can they do that?
Speaker:
00:41:08
Easiest thing, you can find me on LinkedIn Smart.
Speaker:
00:41:11
I'm sure it'll be in the show notes.
Speaker:
00:41:13
Um, also smart.com.
Speaker:
00:41:15
There's a contact form you can go and that in social media, but I think it's
Speaker:
00:41:21
also really important to not be shy.
Speaker:
00:41:23
To reach out.
Speaker:
00:41:24
And even if you're like, Hey, one thing really resonated, way to go.
Speaker:
00:41:28
I think when you do that, that's also paying it forward, because
Speaker:
00:41:30
then it's a mirror, right?
Speaker:
00:41:32
Someone's gonna end up doing that for you, and I think it, it adds the party.
Speaker:
00:41:36
So I highly recommend people.
Speaker:
00:41:37
It's one thing to listen to a podcast.
Speaker:
00:41:39
I love what you said about action and just like, listen to every episode,
Speaker:
00:41:42
take a bunch of notes, but the action is paying it forward, right?
Speaker:
00:41:45
You know, how can you add value to yourself and everyone
Speaker:
00:41:48
who's sharing this with you.
Speaker:
00:41:50
Yeah, hundred percent.
Speaker:
00:41:51
It's like invest in yourself, not just with the knowledge, but with the
Speaker:
00:41:55
action and keep things moving forward.
Speaker:
00:41:58
I appreciate it.
Speaker:
00:41:58
Thank you so much my friend.
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00:42:00
Thank you.
