رونوشت کامل How Do You Stay Gritty When Motivation Fades? | With Charlie Smith

bring in Charlie and we're gonna really we're gonna investigate this question. 00:02:04.079 --> 00:02:06.959 How do you stay gritty when motivation fades? 00:02:07.120 --> 00:02:08.800 So welcome in, Charlie Smith. 00:02:08.879 --> 00:02:09.599 Yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:02:09.759 --> 00:02:10.400 My guys. 00:02:10.879 --> 00:02:19.919 Man, the myth of my fan, my family, really being a part of the Limitless Minds family is is a huge part of my existence and and means a ton to me, as you know. 00:02:20.000 --> 00:02:24.639 And to be on a podcast with both of you, like best way, like I think every week I get to be a good idea. 00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:25.199 It's an honor. 00:02:25.360 --> 00:02:26.319 Just saying, it's an honor. 00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:26.879 It's an honor. 00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:28.879 It's it's incredible, right? 00:02:28.960 --> 00:02:33.919 So every Sunday, one of the things I've gotten used to doing is starting with my uh looking forward to, right? 00:02:34.000 --> 00:02:35.199 What am I looking forward to this week? 00:02:35.280 --> 00:02:36.319 How am I getting geared up? 00:02:36.400 --> 00:02:43.439 And you know, one of the things when I saw my calendar for the week, I was looking forward to on Monday morning, which can be challenging for some, uh, not gonna lie. 00:02:43.520 --> 00:02:44.479 Uh not for me. 00:02:44.560 --> 00:02:47.199 Uh, you know, thank God it's Monday, I like to say. 00:02:47.439 --> 00:02:50.879 Um, and here we and here we are with my guys, and I've been looking forward to it. 00:02:51.120 --> 00:02:52.400 So great, so great. 00:02:52.479 --> 00:02:57.439 And listen, we in the world right now, the world needs grit and resiliency. 00:02:57.680 --> 00:02:58.960 So, you know what, Josh? 00:02:59.039 --> 00:03:01.280 It's a it's a perfect time to have Charlie on. 00:03:01.439 --> 00:03:10.560 You know, Charlie, knowing your story, um, grit and and drive is it was almost like a survival strategy and mechanism. 00:03:10.639 --> 00:03:16.240 And and a lot of times success was was you got success, but it was masking some pain. 00:03:16.479 --> 00:03:23.919 And so, you know, I when I was thinking about you know, questions to ask you and and how we can get to kind of unpack your success. 00:03:24.159 --> 00:03:29.840 How did how did working hard become a way of escaping rather than a way to build? 00:03:30.159 --> 00:03:32.719 That's a great, it's a great question and foundational. 00:03:32.879 --> 00:03:39.919 You know, Deeja and Josh, one of the things that that I've learned is that we as human beings do things in pattern because there's a payoff, right? 00:03:40.000 --> 00:03:45.840 Over time, we kind of replicate patterns in our lives because there's something, good or bad, that we're getting out of those patterns. 00:03:46.000 --> 00:03:50.560 Sometimes there the what we're getting isn't good, but sometimes what we're getting is isn't is good. 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:55.680 And so for me, I grew up in a home that was that was dominated and plagued by domestic violence. 00:03:55.840 --> 00:04:02.400 And so my father on the outside world, and I think this is important for everybody, especially in the social media media world, to understand. 00:04:02.560 --> 00:04:10.080 I mean, my family was on the cover of Catholic Digest magazine in 1970 as a model Catholic family, but behind closed doors, that wasn't reality. 00:04:10.159 --> 00:04:14.240 So, you know, sometimes we can see a lot of things externally that doesn't represent reality. 00:04:14.319 --> 00:04:18.560 And so the violence that started in my life started at just the age of six years old. 00:04:18.720 --> 00:04:23.519 And my dad being a college professor, there were two things that were acceptable for me to be out of my house. 00:04:23.759 --> 00:04:25.759 One of them was work, the other one was school. 00:04:25.839 --> 00:04:30.240 He thought both of those things would be acceptable for me to not be in our home. 00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:34.639 And if you're experiencing domestic violence, the one thing you want is to be out of your home. 00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:35.680 You want to escape. 00:04:35.759 --> 00:04:38.879 And so, like paper route at the age of seven years old. 00:04:38.959 --> 00:04:40.639 You know, I grew up in Scarborough, Maine. 00:04:40.720 --> 00:04:42.399 You want to talk about a paper route in the winter? 00:04:42.480 --> 00:04:43.439 You're up at 5 a.m. 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:45.839 There's ice on the bag, you got to crack it off. 00:04:45.920 --> 00:04:49.199 You know, there's no scooter, there's no scooter dirty bikes, right? 00:04:49.920 --> 00:05:01.439 And you're out there cracking ice off your newspapers, you're packing them in your bag, you're putting a little orange strap over your shoulder, and and and you're out for 45 minutes to an hour before school delivering papers. 00:05:01.519 --> 00:05:08.959 But that was my first foray into okay, I can work, I can, I can get out of my house, and and those are the things that I learned to do. 00:05:09.040 --> 00:05:11.519 So work for me was an was an escape. 00:05:11.600 --> 00:05:14.399 It was a way for me to to survive and to be out of my house. 00:05:14.560 --> 00:05:17.920 And and it continued, you know, for a big chunk of my life, Deege. 00:05:18.160 --> 00:05:18.480 Wow. 00:05:18.639 --> 00:05:18.959 Yeah. 00:05:19.040 --> 00:05:19.600 That's it. 00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:35.839 You know, and and and the that that escape, you know, when you when you think about how like just kind of going and transporting to a different place, how did you how did you figure out how to like take that type of drive and then use it for what was next in your career? 00:05:36.079 --> 00:05:40.240 Yeah, so so it's a it's a really it's a really important mark in my life. 00:05:40.480 --> 00:05:50.240 So, you know, Tre you know, uh Trevor had the great, and I like to bring Trev in with as much as I can in these podcast interviews, you know, he had that

great um SAT score, right? 00:05:50.399 --> 00:05:54.480 And that story, that story was a story, but it was real in my life. 00:05:54.560 --> 00:05:54.800 Okay. 00:05:55.120 --> 00:05:59.279 The fact of the matter is, when I was growing up, I had a seminal conversation with my mom. 00:05:59.360 --> 00:06:01.199 I I brought them, I could show them to you. 00:06:01.279 --> 00:06:03.439 These are my report cards from elementary school. 00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:08.879 And I don't know if you can see, but they are riddled with dark ink. 00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:12.160 Okay, and those aren't, and that isn't Charlie's a great student. 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:13.519 We love having him in class. 00:06:13.759 --> 00:06:16.399 That is Charlie is not living up to his potential. 00:06:16.560 --> 00:06:20.800 You know, Charlie is once again behind on assignments over and over and over again. 00:06:20.879 --> 00:06:26.240 And my mom had a conversation with me, literal conversation with me, when I was in, when I was in seventh grade. 00:06:26.319 --> 00:06:28.160 And she said, Look, I don't know how to keep you safe. 00:06:28.240 --> 00:06:29.759 My mom was a first-grade school teacher. 00:06:29.839 --> 00:06:32.160 I grew up in a ham a family of four or three other kids. 00:06:32.240 --> 00:06:33.040 There were four of us. 00:06:33.199 --> 00:06:35.759 She said, I don't know how to keep you safe in this home. 00:06:35.920 --> 00:06:38.879 I think something really bad's gonna happen if you don't get to college. 00:06:39.040 --> 00:06:40.879 And I I went to work that summer. 00:06:41.040 --> 00:06:45.680 I I made enough money to go to Chevrous High School, which was a private Jesuit school. 00:06:45.920 --> 00:06:53.040 And my report card from my freshman year looks a little different, and you can kind of see it here, but I'll just tell you it's honor roll, right? 00:06:53.199 --> 00:07:03.120 That kid who who was getting bombed out in seventh and eighth grade had a conversation, shifted his mindset, and decided that in order for me to be safe, that I was gonna have to get to college. 00:07:03.279 --> 00:07:04.079 How do you get to college? 00:07:04.240 --> 00:07:07.279 You get good grades in high school, and I became an honor role student. 00:07:07.439 --> 00:07:13.040 So, you know, how you do anything is how you do everything, and you learn these condition patterns for survival. 00:07:13.199 --> 00:07:15.360 And so what drove me was simple. 00:07:15.519 --> 00:07:17.199 I never want to go home again. 00:07:17.279 --> 00:07:18.720 I don't know what it's gonna take. 00:07:18.879 --> 00:07:35.519 And and so kind of financial success, monetary success became a driving force in in my ability, which is why, you know, I'm 60 years old, and here's a fact never been written up, demoted, fired, laid off from any job that I ever had. 00:07:35.759 --> 00:07:42.480 Did you did you find as you were gaining the financial freedom that you've gained throughout your life? 00:07:42.560 --> 00:07:44.240 And and and in your mind, right? 00:07:44.319 --> 00:07:47.120 In the subconscious, it was that means safety, right? 00:07:47.279 --> 00:07:48.160 That means safety. 00:07:48.319 --> 00:07:54.959 Did you feel though that you were fulfilled with that, or did you feel like something was missing there? 00:07:55.199 --> 00:07:56.560 Never fulfilled, Josh. 00:07:56.720 --> 00:07:57.680 Uh-uh, empty. 00:07:57.839 --> 00:08:03.199 And and this is the difference between running from something and and and kind of running towards something, right? 00:08:03.279 --> 00:08:10.959 There's a difference between trying to prove yourself to somebody else versus trying to improve yourself and become the best version of yourself. 00:08:11.120 --> 00:08:13.519 And and James Oppenheim has a great quote. 00:08:13.680 --> 00:08:18.240 He says, The fool looks for happiness down the road, a wise man grows it under his feet. 00:08:18.319 --> 00:08:25.120 And so I was pursuing material wealth, but it was at the expense of my self-worth because I wasn't doing it for me. 00:08:25.199 --> 00:08:27.199 I was doing it to prove something to my past. 00:08:27.360 --> 00:08:31.040 I was trying to prove something to the things that had happened to me as a child. 00:08:31.120 --> 00:08:40.080 And when you when you aren't doing something for yourself, when you don't have those deep seated values of who you want to become, you you can start to become somebody else. 00:08:40.320 --> 00:09:00.559 You know, it it's it's interesting because it you think about somebody, and I'm thinking about the listeners right now as they're as they're processing this, and you had this, you had this difficult childhood that you were able to then turn into something amazing, amazing career, um, you know, impacting, you know, thousands and thousands of people. 00:09:00.720 --> 00:09:06.240 How does how does the how would the listeners know if they were running away from something or pushing towards something? 00:09:06.320 --> 00:09:09.039 How how do you how did how did you manage that yourself? 00:09:09.200 --> 00:09:11.679 And then how would you give advice to the listeners on that? 00:09:11.919 --> 00:09:13.360 Yeah, it's a it's a great question. 00:09:13.440 --> 00:09:15.919 Uh um, you guys, you guys have dug in. 00:09:16.080 --> 00:09:17.759 Um really important, right? 00:09:17.919 --> 00:09:27.440 Because you guys can no, I mean, this is like this is like I said, it's kind of like a therapy session and and and a performance uh mindset uh podcast. 00:09:27.600 --> 00:09:29.440 The question is what's driving you, right? 00:09:29.519 --> 00:09:34.080 At the end of the day, if nobody saw or applauded what you're doing, would you still want it? 00:09:34.240 --> 00:09:40.799 You know, am I building a life that really reflects my values, or am I trying to prove my worth to somebody else? 00:09:40.960 --> 00:09:42.480 And what feeling, right? 00:09:42.639 --> 00:09:46.320 What

feeling am I hoping this achievement will make go away? 00:09:46.480 --> 00:09:50.720 If I'm looking for it to make something go away, then I'm running from something. 00:09:50.799 --> 00:09:58.399 If I'm looking for it to build something, improve something, my impact in the world, how I can be of service to others, how I can learn and grow myself. 00:09:58.559 --> 00:10:00.879 Now you're now you've got lasting fuel, right? 00:10:01.039 --> 00:10:03.519 Because fear, fear is short burning fuel. 00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:10.080 Like for me, as you know, you know, by the age of 35, I was a I was a full-blown alcoholic and and drug addict. 00:10:10.159 --> 00:10:19.200 And so, you know, that fear, that desire, that running from, you know, which is why, you know, one of my grounding mantras is what you don't deal with in life will deal with you. 00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:23.840 And it doesn't have to be the extent of the pain and the trauma that I went through, but we're all recovering from something. 00:10:24.000 --> 00:10:27.759 And if we deny it or avoid it, ultimately it it'll catch up with us. 00:10:27.840 --> 00:10:34.879 And so, you know, one of the things that we've got to do is recognize what we're doing for someone else or what we're doing for ourselves, huh? 00:10:35.120 --> 00:10:36.159 Yes, yes, good test. 00:10:36.480 --> 00:10:36.720 For sure. 00:10:36.799 --> 00:10:37.120 I love it. 00:10:37.279 --> 00:10:38.080 Yeah, no doubt. 00:10:38.159 --> 00:10:48.080 It's and it and then, you know, it's interesting because you did, you went through this, you know, you were again, again, going back to what you said about the social media and and looking at your family. 00:10:48.159 --> 00:10:52.240 Here you are on the cover of the the magazine and you're, you know, the ideal family. 00:10:52.320 --> 00:11:03.600 And if somebody were to look at you, Charlie, from the outside, they would have seen this, I'm sure, gregarious, joyous life of the party, quote unquote, who's doing really well financially, right? 00:11:04.159 --> 00:11:07.600 But inside, you were probably burning up. 00:11:07.759 --> 00:11:21.279 And you made that shift and you and you made that and made that made that change to dedicate your life, not to making sure somebody's business had a place to get into this strip mall, but more, is that accurate, right? 00:11:21.440 --> 00:11:28.720 But now you're you're giving back and and you're teaching people about hey, how your mindset can really can really change your life. 00:11:28.960 --> 00:11:43.840 And I think one of the things that that really jumps out about that is like, how did you what did I guess I guess for our listeners, what is something they can look at to understand that maybe a shift is necessary? 00:11:44.080 --> 00:11:47.600 I think we all have a small, still voice inside of us, right? 00:11:47.679 --> 00:11:58.320 We all have these, this, this inner, this inner conscious, our little Jiminy Cricket to use a Disney, you know,

kind of logo, a Disney analogy, you know, that nobody nobody knows that under the age of 60, by the way, just so you know. 00:11:58.559 --> 00:12:03.679 Yeah, so so Jimmy, our conscious, this little voice, this small, still voice. 00:12:03.840 --> 00:12:04.879 It's so true. 00:12:05.039 --> 00:12:08.799 Uh we all have a small still voice, I think, that whispers to us. 00:12:08.879 --> 00:12:11.200 I think we all know when we're when we're living out of alignment. 00:12:11.279 --> 00:12:15.600 And to your point, I I used to develop shopping centers and now I develop people, right? 00:12:15.679 --> 00:12:16.879 I'm still in the development business. 00:12:16.960 --> 00:12:26.320 I've just chosen a different product because when I when I went through everything I went through, Josh, I literally sat down and looked in the mirror and I was like, did I go through all of this? 00:12:26.480 --> 00:12:35.759 Did I go through all of this in my life to build another shopping center, to raise more money, and to put another stake in the ground and a shovel in the ground and build something? 00:12:35.840 --> 00:12:39.840 And the answer that came glaringly back to me from wherever it came from was no. 00:12:40.000 --> 00:12:49.600 You know, what you really need to do is take all the experience and see how you can lift other people up because everybody's going through something and you you learn these skills, you learn these strategies and tactics. 00:12:49.759 --> 00:12:52.960 And so you're you're small, still voice when you get quiet. 00:12:53.039 --> 00:12:54.559 And this is one of the hardest things. 00:12:54.720 --> 00:13:04.480 You know, there's a a great uh poem called The Man in the Glass, and you know, it talks about you can have all this success in the world, but your life will be empty and frail if you've cheated the man in the glass. 00:13:04.559 --> 00:13:08.480 And it's about being able to look at yourself in the mirror, you know, which was a test that I couldn't pass. 00:13:08.639 --> 00:13:17.600 To your point, you know, before I got sober, I could pass the bank account test, the family test, the vacation test, the career test, but I couldn't pass the look in the mirror test. 00:13:17.679 --> 00:13:20.960 You know, I would have to, I would have to glance away when I brushed my teeth. 00:13:21.039 --> 00:13:33.360 It was that painful for me to recognize that who I said I was externally and what I was doing was so out of alignment that I began to create in my own life the literal reality that I had growing up. 00:13:33.519 --> 00:13:35.039 Externally, things look good. 00:13:35.200 --> 00:13:37.919 Internally, and the way I was living, you know, it was not. 00:13:38.000 --> 00:13:40.879 That's why I have, you can probably see right here behind me a little snow globe. 00:13:40.960 --> 00:13:43.200 And it's not because Christmas is coming in a few months. 00:13:43.440 --> 00:13:45.440 It there's a few reminders in my office. 00:13:45.600 --> 00:13:49.919 That snow globe is a reminder to me that that's how I want to live. 00:13:50.000 --> 00:14:03.039 And and my kids, you guys, anybody that's important in my life should be able to look down at my life and they should be able to see me doing what I talk about doing when I'm on a podcast or when I'm sharing on social media or speaking in front of a stage. 00:14:03.200 --> 00:14:11.200 I no longer have the ability, nor the desire, nor the energy to pull the shade over that snow globe and try to hide out in the shadows of life. 00:14:11.360 --> 00:14:11.679 Yeah. 00:14:11.919 --> 00:14:19.600 You know, our our our friend, the the late Trevor Moad used to say, we're not human beings, we're human becomings. 00:14:19.840 --> 00:14:22.159 And it's like this constant quest, right? 00:14:22.240 --> 00:14:25.200 And it's like, and you you mentioned something else really that stuck with it. 00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:28.080 That that when as you were talking, that quote stuck out to me. 00:14:28.159 --> 00:14:45.200 The other thing is it's like your focus on you know, money and resources and just like status before, you know, and and how transactional that was, and then how I see you live your life now, where you impact people on a daily basis and is is so transformational. 00:14:45.440 --> 00:14:54.080 How do you how do you continue to motivate people, transform people, knowing that like we are human becomings? 00:14:54.159 --> 00:14:59.600 Like the the pains, there's different pains that are you know are here today that you might not have had before. 00:14:59.679 --> 00:15:02.159 Or maybe, maybe you're even revisiting old pains. 00:15:02.320 --> 00:15:07.840 Help the listeners kind of navigate through that so they realize like you're never like totally kind of like fixed. 00:15:07.919 --> 00:15:10.080 I'm done, you know, um until you're done, right? 00:15:10.240 --> 00:15:16.159 Uh, how do you how do you how do you continue to to navigate through and transform your own life through through the pains that you face today? 00:15:16.399 --> 00:15:18.320 I think I think your point is spot on. 00:15:18.399 --> 00:15:22.320 And I think there's four things that no human being is ever gonna be exonerated from. 00:15:22.399 --> 00:15:26.720 And I think we get this idea today that life should be easy or easier. 00:15:26.879 --> 00:15:30.879 And the fact of the matter is everybody's gonna experience pain in their lives. 00:15:31.039 --> 00:15:38.320 Pain of loss, pain of financial setbacks, pains of relationship ending, you know, pains in their business dealings, pains in their relationship. 00:15:38.480 --> 00:15:39.840 We're all gonna experience pain. 00:15:40.080 --> 00:15:42.000 We're all gonna experience uncertainty. 00:15:42.080 --> 00:15:47.039 We don't know what tomorrow is gonna hold for us, and we're all gonna experience the need to put in hard work. 00:15:47.120 --> 00:15:50.320 At the end of the day, work and effort is required. 00:15:50.399 -->

00:15:57.039 If, you know, going back to grit, I think in uh in Angela Duckworth's book, uh Grit, she has her grit formula, right? 00:15:57.120 --> 00:16:02.320 That that talent times effort equals skill, skill times effort equals achievement. 00:16:02.480 --> 00:16:07.919 And and if you notice, one thing in that formula remains, happens twice, and it's effort, right? 00:16:08.000 --> 00:16:10.320 All of the things that we do are going to require effort. 00:16:10.399 --> 00:16:22.159 And that's one of the things that I've recognized is how much effort is required because there's a the the greatest source of all human suffering is the attachment or desire that things be different than they are, right? 00:16:22.320 --> 00:16:25.600 And we go from this, you know, we talk a lot about this in some of the work that we do. 00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:27.120 Is life happening to you? 00:16:27.360 --> 00:16:30.559 Is life happening for you, or is life happening through you? 00:16:30.639 --> 00:16:36.480 And when you can make that shift from, man, life keep happen keeps happening to me to hey, life is actually happening for me. 00:16:36.639 --> 00:16:37.679 What lesson can I learn? 00:16:37.759 --> 00:16:38.639 How can I grow? 00:16:38.799 --> 00:16:38.960 Right. 00:16:39.039 --> 00:16:42.720 I think Seneca says the on the unexamined life is hardly worth living. 00:16:42.879 --> 00:16:45.600 And that's something that I had never done before. 00:16:45.759 --> 00:16:49.600 I got, you know, sober and I started to live the way I'm living today. 00:16:49.679 --> 00:16:54.720 I really never started to reflect on my life for big reason because I want to look at it, right? 00:16:54.879 --> 00:17:01.279 But what actually happens is when you take time, when you pause, when you look at it, with a flashlight, not a hammer, right? 00:17:01.440 --> 00:17:04.480 Like I'll say with a lab coat, not a prison guard uniform. 00:17:04.559 --> 00:17:10.799 When you're not beating yourself up for your mistakes, but you're looking at, hey, this happened and now I've got a lesson to learn. 00:17:10.880 --> 00:17:11.440 How can I grow? 00:17:11.519 --> 00:17:18.079 And I think that's what we should all be doing every single day of our life, every week of our life is saying, hey, how can I grow from this? 00:17:18.160 --> 00:17:19.039 How can I learn from this? 00:17:19.119 --> 00:17:20.319 How can I get better this week? 00:17:20.720 --> 00:17:29.920 No matter what it is, whether it's physical fitness, mental fitness, emotional fitness, professional growth, you know, we're all, we all have the ability to continue to improve. 00:17:30.079 --> 00:17:32.000 Excellence is that has no finish line. 00:17:32.079 --> 00:17:32.319 Yeah. 00:17:32.559 --> 00:17:32.960 Love that. 00:17:33.200 --> 00:17:33.599 I love that. 00:17:33.680 --> 00:17:38.880 So one of the things that you just brought up there is mentioned effort, effort, effort, and effort. 00:17:39.039 --> 00:17:39.279 Right. 00:17:39.440 --> 00:17:40.799 So, but here's the thing. 00:17:41.039 --> 00:17:51.279 A lot, a lot of people, myself included, I'm sure yourself included, I'm sure DJ included, I'm sure the listeners, we're gonna get to a point where we're just quote unquote, it's just we're tired. 00:17:51.519 --> 00:17:56.480 And we don't feel like we don't feel like putting in the work today, and we don't feel like moving forward. 00:17:56.640 --> 00:18:03.359 And you know, and and again, you know, we always we've always talked about this at Limitless Minds, you know, you only truly fail when you quit. 00:18:03.839 --> 00:18:05.519 But people do quit. 00:18:05.759 --> 00:18:11.359 And people do, you know, pull the ripcord and say, you know what, I had this goal, I had this dream. 00:18:11.599 --> 00:18:13.279 I'm uh it's too hard. 00:18:13.519 --> 00:18:14.400 It's too hard. 00:18:14.799 --> 00:18:22.240 So what are and the whole the whole key about grit is that you're just gonna keep going and you're gonna find a way, you know. 00:18:22.319 --> 00:18:28.240 We heard we learned from Krista about taking a pause to reset and get yourself read back in order before you can go again. 00:18:28.319 --> 00:18:31.920 You know, it's uh it's about the going again, it's about the going again, it's about the going again. 00:18:32.079 --> 00:18:40.160 So, what are the things that you do to keep yourself motivated when you're moving towards a big goal and it's hard to get there? 00:18:40.400 --> 00:18:43.440 Yeah, I think um I'll say this. 00:18:43.599 --> 00:18:52.720 First of all, we we all just we we were all just part of a big uh you matter day at Johnson ⁇ Johnson week that we we deployed all over the world to be able to support and help a client. 00:18:53.119 --> 00:18:53.920 And it was amazing, right? 00:18:54.160 --> 00:18:57.200 We all got on the planes and they went through their safety briefing. 00:18:57.359 --> 00:19:02.000 The first thing they did is they told us that if we lose cabin pressure, the oxygen mass is gonna fall. 00:19:02.160 --> 00:19:04.720 And if that happens, put the mask on yourself first, right? 00:19:04.799 --> 00:19:06.720 They always say put the mask on yourself first. 00:19:06.880 --> 00:19:11.759 So we have to be aware of our energy and we have to be aware of our stresses and what can deplete our energy. 00:19:11.839 --> 00:19:13.920 But that's different than grit, right? 00:19:14.160 --> 00:19:22.160 Recharging, pausing, taking that breath, going for a walk on the beach, having that downtime to be able to have, be able to hear that small still voice inside of us, right? 00:19:22.240 --> 00:19:35.680 If we're always running and running and running, because I think we have just candidly gotten into a little bit of an optimized culture now where you know we gotta wake up and do sound baths and sound bowls and interpretive dance, and then we gotta do this, then you gotta do this, and you gotta do this, and you gotta do it. 00:19:35.839 -->

00:19:39.039 I do interpretive dance before I get into my cold cup, just so everybody knows. 00:19:39.440 --> 00:19:40.400 Just so everybody knows. 00:19:40.960 --> 00:19:54.079 I mean, that's not interpretive dance, but they those more pop and lock, but it's almost become like an effort, an achievement thing to talk about how you're optimizing your life. 00:19:54.160 --> 00:19:58.319 And sometimes life needs to be operationalized and experienced, not optimized. 00:19:58.400 --> 00:20:04.240 I mean, there's certain healthy things we need to do, but let's experience life before we just optimize life, right? 00:20:04.319 --> 00:20:07.119 And so I think motivation is overrated. 00:20:07.279 --> 00:20:11.039 I think movement, motivation comes once movement begins. 00:20:11.200 --> 00:20:17.359 I think I don't feel like it are the five words that really kill more momentum than any other five words, right? 00:20:17.599 --> 00:20:20.000 And I think Trev used to say this all the time, right? 00:20:20.079 --> 00:20:22.240 The feelings mess with all of us, right? 00:20:22.400 --> 00:20:23.599 I don't feel like it, right? 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:24.640 I don't feel like going to the gym. 00:20:24.720 --> 00:20:26.720 I don't feel like call calling clients today. 00:20:26.799 --> 00:20:31.279 I don't feel like it because our emotions are attaching an outcome to a feeling, right? 00:20:31.440 --> 00:20:32.400 Why don't I feel like it? 00:20:32.480 --> 00:20:34.079 Well, I don't because it's gonna be hard. 00:20:34.160 --> 00:20:36.079 I don't I don't feel like it because they might say no. 00:20:36.240 --> 00:20:40.240 I don't feel like it because I don't know if I'm gonna get the results that you're that I want to get. 00:20:40.319 --> 00:20:43.359 And so we have to we have to recognize the feelings, right? 00:20:43.519 --> 00:20:46.640 Feelings aren't necessarily facts, they're like emotions. 00:20:46.799 --> 00:20:55.279 I imagine, you know, whenever you talk to an athlete, uh Josh or Deeze, you could say, hey, have you ever really felt confident and then gone out and had a bad game? 00:20:55.599 --> 00:20:59.440 Have you ever really felt no confidence or gone out and had a great game, right? 00:20:59.599 --> 00:21:03.920 So we know that these feelings come and go, but what really matters is behavior. 00:21:04.000 --> 00:21:10.480 And that's what I think I love most about Trevor's work about Limitless Minds, is it's actionable, right? 00:21:10.559 --> 00:21:11.920 It's it's what's the behavior? 00:21:12.000 --> 00:21:18.240 Even neutral thinking, it's a behavior-based, focused on the facts, not the feelings, recognizing feelings. 00:21:18.400 --> 00:21:20.960 I don't think anybody should stuff their feelings. 00:21:21.119 --> 00:21:24.240 I think when you stuff your feelings, you don't recognize what's happened. 00:21:24.319 --> 00:21:26.240 There's an old adage name them to tame them. 00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:26.640 What is this? 00:21:26.720 --> 00:21:27.440 Okay, I'm a fee. 00:21:27.599 --> 00:21:29.920 This is a little anxiety about this next phone call. 00:21:30.079 --> 00:21:33.200 This is a little fear about this next start that I've got. 00:21:33.359 --> 00:21:34.319 Okay, got it. 00:21:34.559 --> 00:21:35.680 Okay, recognize that. 00:21:35.839 --> 00:21:38.000 What's that fear trying to keep you safe? 00:21:38.160 --> 00:21:38.640 Got it. 00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:40.240 Okay, let's dismiss that. 00:21:40.319 --> 00:21:41.440 Be aware of it, challenge it. 00:21:41.519 --> 00:21:42.240 What do I really want? 00:21:42.400 --> 00:21:43.440 Now what do I need to do? 00:21:43.599 --> 00:21:46.480 Those are my two foundational questions, guys. 00:21:46.640 --> 00:21:47.519 What do I want? 00:21:47.680 --> 00:21:48.960 Now what do I need to do? 00:21:49.200 --> 00:21:52.079 So is that is that kind of what you ask yourself to get started? 00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:52.880 Yeah, absolutely. 00:21:53.039 --> 00:21:57.599 Well, listen, I think identity is the number one driver for all human behavior. 00:21:57.680 --> 00:22:02.480 I think it's been if if I were to pull down, you know, put my My camera up a little bit, you'd see all those books, right? 00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:14.960 And if you look at any book on sports psychology, on human performance, the number one driver, whether it's whether it's Lanny Basham or Maxwell Maltz or all of them, self-image management, right? 00:22:15.200 --> 00:22:18.319 Trevor Moad, it takes an ad campaign, right? 00:22:18.480 --> 00:22:21.440 What is the belief that you have about yourself? 00:22:21.599 --> 00:22:24.720 You're never going to outperform your identity. 00:22:24.880 --> 00:22:31.440 And if you don't have a strong identity statement and you don't have a strong idea of who you are, then you might become anybody. 00:22:31.519 --> 00:22:34.480 And then you're more apt to listen to, right? 00:22:34.640 --> 00:22:39.920 Just like Trev talks about, you know, the outside world advertising to us about what success should look like. 00:22:40.079 --> 00:22:46.960 Well, have you created your own, I'll call it for lack of a better term, your own Madison Avenue ad campaign about who you are. 00:22:47.359 --> 00:22:53.440 And that internal ad campaign, Josh, has to include a trait or characteristic, and it must include a behavior. 00:22:53.519 --> 00:22:59.200 So if we want to get down to tactics, you've got to identify characteristic or trait that defines you at your best. 00:22:59.839 --> 00:23:08.559 The next thing you need to do is what's the behavior that you can look at that tells me that you're being consistent, disciplined, relentless, gritty, right? 00:23:08.640 --> 00:23:09.519 What's the behavior? 00:23:09.680 --> 00:23:19.759 And then what's the standard, the non-negotiable that you can set uh even when I don't feel like it, six days a week, so that you know that you've got a standard that you're gonna hold yourself to. 00:23:19.839 --> 00:23:25.279 So I

think, you know, people will talk about the importance of your why as kind of the dragger to motivation, right? 00:23:25.440 --> 00:23:28.880 I think Nietzsche says with a big enough why, a man can handle anyhow. 00:23:28.960 --> 00:23:30.240 And I I believe that's true. 00:23:30.400 --> 00:23:33.599 I have a picture of little Charlie on my desk at work at home. 00:23:33.759 --> 00:23:38.640 Every morning when I wake up in journal, I look at him and I tell myself every morning, dude, today's for you. 00:23:38.880 --> 00:23:42.480 Because you what you went through, what you lived through, deserves my best today. 00:23:42.559 --> 00:23:47.440 And I I I believe it or not, when my mom gave me my old files, I threw them in a trash can. 00:23:47.680 --> 00:23:48.799 I didn't want to see that little kid. 00:23:48.880 --> 00:23:51.119 I was so embarrassed of him, and now I embrace him. 00:23:51.200 --> 00:23:54.319 So why is important, but identity is more important, Josh. 00:23:54.559 --> 00:23:55.119 So great. 00:23:55.359 --> 00:23:55.759 I love that. 00:23:55.839 --> 00:23:56.240 It's funny. 00:23:56.319 --> 00:24:09.759 I just saw um one of the hostages from October 7th was being interviewed, and he talked about, and he has a tattoo on his arm, and says, if I have a strong enough why, I can get through any uh, you know, the the how what was the quote? 00:24:09.839 --> 00:24:10.000 Sorry. 00:24:10.079 --> 00:24:13.119 If I have a with a big enough why, a person can handle any how. 00:24:13.359 --> 00:24:15.920 Yeah, with a big enough why a person can handle any anyhow. 00:24:16.000 --> 00:24:28.240 And he literally had that tattooed on his arm, and it's what he said to himself every single day in the tunnels of Gaza, buried in the dark, being beaten, being starved, uh, seeing his seeing his other hostages killed. 00:24:28.400 --> 00:24:29.599 And that's what got him through. 00:24:29.759 --> 00:24:32.640 And it was his mother uh and his son that got him through. 00:24:33.200 --> 00:24:34.960 I just yeah, that's that's that's amazing. 00:24:35.119 --> 00:24:38.960 I just re recently read uh A Man's Search for Meaning, uh Victor Frank. 00:24:39.599 --> 00:24:39.839 That's it. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:43.039 Yeah, and then that's it, you know, it's um hey Charlie, got it. 00:24:43.119 --> 00:24:44.400 Yeah, my man. 00:24:44.640 --> 00:24:46.160 Hey, listen, that's a great read. 00:24:46.319 --> 00:24:53.599 A great read when you talk, I mean it uh really captures really the the last kind of two or three minutes, five minutes that we just talked. 00:24:53.759 --> 00:25:02.799 You know, Charlie, as as as we think about like, you know, you mentioned kind of going through the struggle, a hard day, um, etc. 00:25:03.200 --> 00:25:10.079 What are some non-negotiables that that you do on a daily basis that help you get through those difficult days? 00:25:10.319 --> 00:25:14.480 Yeah, I think um routines should reflect your identity, right? 00:25:14.640 --> 00:25:17.839 So for me, I have a few non-negotiables, right? 00:25:18.000 --> 00:25:22.000 One of my non-negotiables is starting my morning, every morning connecting with God. 00:25:22.160 --> 00:25:25.119 So I believe that there's something bigger in this universe than me. 00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:26.400 I choose to call it God. 00:25:26.559 --> 00:25:27.839 You can call it whatever you want. 00:25:27.920 --> 00:25:31.119 You know, gravity's out there, jump off a building and see if it's true. 00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:35.519 You know, I I don't see how I don't I turn Sirius XM on and I get, you know, ESPN. 00:25:35.599 --> 00:25:36.880 I don't know where the satellite is. 00:25:37.039 --> 00:25:38.880 I can't see the waves, but they're coming. 00:25:39.119 --> 00:25:46.160 So, you know, um, the first thing I got to do is I kind of connect with higher forces, you know, and I gotta and I start my day in reflection and prayer. 00:25:46.319 --> 00:25:48.160 It's a non-negotiable for me. 00:25:48.319 --> 00:25:52.240 Um, I believe in setting intentions, so I read some inspirational books every morning. 00:25:52.319 --> 00:25:56.880 It takes me about seven or eight minutes to go through the four books that I read for daily reflections. 00:25:56.960 --> 00:26:01.759 Every day they've got something just to, you know, as we talk about Limitless Minds, right? 00:26:01.920 --> 00:26:03.920 We talk about controlling the input, you know. 00:26:04.000 --> 00:26:05.759 So am I getting on my phone first? 00:26:06.000 --> 00:26:06.240 No. 00:26:06.400 --> 00:26:08.640 In fact, I my phone's downstairs. 00:26:08.799 --> 00:26:13.519 My my reflection room is upstairs and my and my my personal desk is upstairs. 00:26:13.599 --> 00:26:18.799 So I'll go there in the morning and I'll write down first thing, my my why, right? 00:26:18.880 --> 00:26:19.200 My burn. 00:26:19.279 --> 00:26:20.400 My burn is you, little Charlie. 00:26:20.480 --> 00:26:21.759 Your pain is my power today. 00:26:21.920 --> 00:26:24.799 Next thing I do is I write three things that I'm grateful for. 00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:26.480 One of them is always my sobriety. 00:26:26.640 --> 00:26:29.440 The next two have to be something new within the last 24 hours. 00:26:29.599 --> 00:26:31.680 I then write down my identity statements. 00:26:31.759 --> 00:26:34.960 I have three of them, and then I finish with setting my intention for the day. 00:26:35.119 --> 00:26:38.480 I then do about a five-minute meditation, then I get my body moving. 00:26:38.640 --> 00:26:44.000 Um, I actually I used to be about, I don't know, 280 pounds with a 42-inch waist. 00:26:44.160 --> 00:26:45.440 Again, identity statement. 00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:48.400 I don't have I have big legs, I'm not a runner. 00:26:48.559 --> 00:26:51.920 You go through all the all of the viable excuses, right? 00:26:52.079 --> 00:27:00.480 So I think setting my intention, connecting with God in the morning and getting physical exercise is are

non-negotiables for me. 00:27:00.640 --> 00:27:01.920 Same thing with the end of my day. 00:27:02.079 --> 00:27:03.279 I got to review my day. 00:27:03.440 --> 00:27:19.200 I got to make sure that I don't end the day without going through, again, lab coat, not prison guard uniform, reflecting on my day to make sure that I identify what I did well, what I learned, what I want to do better tomorrow, and literally just back checking in with God, thank him for the life that he gave me today. 00:27:19.279 --> 00:27:22.799 And then I check out with him and say, hey, the the the night's the night's for you. 00:27:22.880 --> 00:27:24.559 I'm gonna get some sleep and then I go to bed. 00:27:24.960 --> 00:27:26.079 Those are unreal. 00:27:26.240 --> 00:27:28.799 I mean, I think you you have a really good system. 00:27:28.960 --> 00:27:39.680 We've talked about systems before, and I know you know, Colin, who I just had the chance to present with at You Matter Day as well, you know, he talks about how you know systems are way more powerful than willpower. 00:27:39.839 --> 00:27:45.680 And it so you have these great systems that kind of uh cement you uh in the day and then after the day. 00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:46.880 And I think that that's huge. 00:27:46.960 --> 00:28:01.039 Um, but what's you know, for you, what do you think, you know, if you could if you could give our listeners one tool, one thing, one small thing that they could do to potentially you know start doing this week. 00:28:01.119 --> 00:28:02.400 That's that's an easy start. 00:28:02.720 --> 00:28:06.319 And it'll start, it'll kind of jumpstart their whole, you know, their whole journey. 00:28:07.119 --> 00:28:09.279 What do you think that one tool would be? 00:28:09.440 --> 00:28:10.319 What would you advise? 00:28:10.480 --> 00:28:12.559 Um, I'll give you I'll give you bookends for it. 00:28:12.640 --> 00:28:14.799 It's the same concept applied in two different ways. 00:28:15.039 --> 00:28:17.279 Hunt the good things. 00:28:17.759 --> 00:28:26.400 It takes 15 seconds of conscious reflection on anything that went well in the course of a day for that to register into your long-term memory, like your mistakes and failures. 00:28:26.480 --> 00:28:28.960 I call it 15 seconds for success. 00:28:29.119 --> 00:28:30.240 Take 15 seconds. 00:28:30.400 --> 00:28:32.960 We have 86,400 seconds in a day, folks. 00:28:33.119 --> 00:28:42.160 Take 15 seconds, sit down, close your eyes, and think about an experience you had in the course of the last 24 hours that you're proud of, that makes you happy, that puts a smile on your face. 00:28:42.400 --> 00:28:43.200 Anything counts. 00:28:43.440 --> 00:28:46.880 At the end of the day, at the end of the day, write down three things you did well. 00:28:47.039 --> 00:28:49.440 You're gonna go home, talk, thinking about you're driving home. 00:28:49.599 --> 00:28:54.160 Oh, that email I didn't send out, that rejection, I'm not I all the things that went wrong. 00:28:54.319 --> 00:28:55.279 Write down three things. 00:28:55.599 --> 00:29:03.200 If you want to start building confidence and start building motivation in your life or momentum rather, then write down three things you did well at the end of every day. 00:29:03.359 --> 00:29:06.000 15 seconds for success, three things you did well. 00:29:06.160 --> 00:29:06.640 Simple. 00:29:06.720 --> 00:29:08.960 I think complexity is the enemy of execution. 00:29:09.119 --> 00:29:10.160 This stuff isn't hard. 00:29:10.240 --> 00:29:12.400 But we're mental conditioning coaches, right? 00:29:12.480 --> 00:29:14.799 And conditioning is a consistent process. 00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:16.319 Like I brushed my teeth again this morning. 00:29:16.400 --> 00:29:16.720 You know what? 00:29:16.799 --> 00:29:17.599 I brushed them last night. 00:29:17.680 --> 00:29:18.960 Why'd I brush them this morning? 00:29:19.519 --> 00:29:23.920 Because I because because if I don't, then then then the dirt and the plaque builds back up. 00:29:24.000 --> 00:29:25.440 And that's the same thing with my mind, right? 00:29:25.519 --> 00:29:33.440 If I'm not conditioning my mind for success, and I'm not denying that we also have to look at things we can improve, but if you want to start, start with those two things. 00:29:33.839 --> 00:29:36.240 Yes, do simple, better. 00:29:36.480 --> 00:29:37.119 You know what I'm doing? 00:29:37.200 --> 00:29:37.920 You know what I'm doing? 00:29:38.079 --> 00:29:40.400 I'm not dropping the mic, I'm dropping the pen drop the pen. 00:29:40.640 --> 00:29:42.880 Drop the pen the pen that Charlie gave to me. 00:29:43.119 --> 00:29:43.519 Love it. 00:29:43.599 --> 00:29:46.400 Drop life, my pen, Charlie Smith. 00:29:46.799 --> 00:29:47.920 So good, Charlie. 00:29:48.079 --> 00:29:49.119 Hey, listen, man. 00:29:49.519 --> 00:29:56.880 I I I just I really, really want to thank you, Charlie, because every time I come in contact with you, I learn something. 00:29:57.039 --> 00:30:00.960 I feel better like about myself, about myself as a leader. 00:30:01.119 --> 00:30:05.519 There's great energy there, and you are truly transforming people. 00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.599 And really appreciate that, my man. 00:30:07.759 --> 00:30:08.400 Really do. 00:30:08.720 --> 00:30:12.960 Well, you guys, you, you both and and this this organization means the world to me. 00:30:13.039 --> 00:30:13.759 In fact, it's funny. 00:30:13.839 --> 00:30:16.400 I think it's three years ago today I auditioned for you, D. 00:30:16.559 --> 00:30:20.160 I additioned right before Halloween. 00:30:20.240 --> 00:30:23.519 I was gonna say, I think I might have been sitting in the same exact chair, man. 00:30:23.759 --> 00:30:24.799 That's so great. 00:30:25.039 --> 00:30:26.000 That's so great. 00:30:26.240 --> 00:30:32.640 And and being being a part of this this group and and sharing the message that we carry to so many, it's it means the world to me. 00:30:32.720 --> 00:30:33.599 So thanks for taking time. 00:30:34.160 --> 00:30:35.119 Really a blessing for sure. 00:30:35.359 --> 00:30:36.000 Oh, Charlie. 00:30:36.079 --> 00:30:42.400 Um, first of all, obviously, if you want to know more about Charlie Smith, just please contact us at Limitless Minds. 00:30:42.480 --> 00:30:45.920 You want Charlie to come in, work with your leaders, work with your organization. 00:30:46.079 --> 00:30:48.640 Just just reach out to us, limitlessminds.com. 00:30:48.799 --> 00:30:49.759 We will we will get you. 00:30:49.920 --> 00:30:52.400 But where else can people find you, Charlie Smith? 00:30:52.480 --> 00:30:54.559 How can they, how can they, how can they connect with you? 00:30:54.720 --> 00:31:00.319 Yeah, I most of my most of my content is put out on Instagram and Facebook at Charlie Smith Speaks. 00:31:00.400 --> 00:31:03.519 Um, I have a website, Charlie at Charlie Smithspeaks.com. 00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:07.599 I've got some I've got some confidence facilitation programs that are on there. 00:31:07.680 --> 00:31:14.400 And uh, and yeah, just and DM me, message me, and and look, it is, it is, it is your life, it is your pen. 00:31:14.559 --> 00:31:17.519 You know, the question we always ask is is what are you writing today? 00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:18.880 You know, what are you gonna write today? 00:31:19.119 --> 00:31:19.599 Awesome. 00:31:19.759 --> 00:31:20.240 Very good. 00:31:20.400 --> 00:31:24.640 Well, listen, man, we we we told you we're gonna bring the fire this month, right? 00:31:24.799 --> 00:31:25.599 Right, Josh? 00:31:25.759 --> 00:31:26.480 We said that, right? 00:31:27.359 --> 00:31:28.160 Did we bring the fire? 00:31:28.319 --> 00:31:29.440 I mean, this is what it is. 00:31:29.680 --> 00:31:31.599 And so, Charlie Smith, we appreciate it. 00:31:31.839 --> 00:31:35.200 I'm actually gonna run downstairs and stick my feet in water because they might as well, man. 00:31:35.279 --> 00:31:35.680 It's hot. 00:31:35.759 --> 00:31:36.160 It's hot. 00:31:36.240 --> 00:31:37.039 The block is hot. 00:31:38.240 --> 00:31:41.519 But uh, no, we really, we really thank you for coming on the show. 00:31:41.680 --> 00:31:45.599 And remember, you don't have to be sick to get better. 00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:47.119 Boom. 00:31:47.359 --> 00:31:48.000 Boom.