رونوشت 🔗
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You guys were obviously married.
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We were together for eight years, married for two years.
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In our mind, we're like, oh, see, this is okay.
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We think that it's from God.
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Like he's making this happen.
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He's providing for us.
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Because we're also being told from all these social media posts of oh you can be a gay person.
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Stuff the witchcraft actually works.
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You're telling me this, I'm seeing it works.
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I'm like, oh so this must be the way.
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There's times where I was like astro projected out of my body unwillingly.
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I got to a point where I was scared.
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Fell in love with the church.
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I started to join like a small group with some women, and the girls were like, How come you don't bring your friend with us?
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And I'm like, actually, guys, some of my friends, girlfriend, got quiet immediately when I said it.
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Uh oh, don't say anything to anybody.
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Like, our church isn't ready.
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I started to get like really angry.
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The only place that we were feeling that accepting was in the LGBT community as the world is shoving away.
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This community is giving you that love that you've been needing and wanting forever.
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Not knowing that that's not alone in the salon and I'm screaming to God.
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I'm like, you're real.
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show me you're real stepped in the room like I couldn't even like stand I'm like, you can have this business, you can have my car, you can have my house, I'm like, you can take everything, don't take her.
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And I'm crying, I'm weeping, and I feel like I gotta throw up.
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As much as I loved her, I couldn't even compare to the way that he loved me in that moment.
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One morning, I'm walking out of my sleep by my name, like a very loud voice.
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The whole apartment like rumbled.
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So then I started to hear in my head, you and Candy need to get baptized.
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I call her up.
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She agrees immediately.
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We find the near church.
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We pull up to the church and they're preparing for that.
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In the car, we church crying.
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I don't even know how we're gonna get into the accident.
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When over at a park and it was like in the car, I hold her hand to the other time and I was like, I think God's telling us it's time for us to play our diet.
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I knew, like, as much as I loved her, I couldn't be the reason that's separated her from the car.
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We know what we have to do.
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What's up, family?
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Um, welcome back to another episode.
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We're just gonna chop it up.
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Okay.
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I have two um special guests.
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My brother Ryan Miller had reached out to me, like, bro, you need to get him on the pod.
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He's out there in um, where is it?
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Tennessee, right?
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Tennessee, yeah.
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I was just out there uh about a month ago.
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And he's like, yo, they're right up the road.
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They're in the central Florida area.
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So I was like, Yeah, let's do it.
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Powerful testimony.
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Um, read the testimony, was like, yep, this is definitely one of those.
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So they're right up the road in Del Teltona, Deltona and um True Woman of God, um, Candy and Nina.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Candy and Nina.
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First time we met was right now.
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Yeah, yeah.
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I know you guys seen me at the coffee shop.
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Yeah, yeah.
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Don't tell me, buddy.
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Don't tell me that I try to tell I I try to stay away from the cold brew.
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I used to be two cold brews a days.
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Yeah.
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Okay.
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I'd be on my matcha wave.
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I'm on my matcha wave now.
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Like, I think we're probably addicted to matcha though.
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For real?
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Yeah, it's bad.
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I think I might be too.
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Thank God it's green tea and L-thyanine and yeah, because the cold brew is like uh you know what I'm saying?
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But yeah, man, it's awesome that um you know you guys are here.
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Again, this channel is just about chopping it up, being being comfortable.
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We're gonna talk, you know, we have some questions.
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We spoke about the testimony earlier, you know, earlier through text and just you know, just uh making sure we uh we're on point with
Load full transcript
everything we speak about.
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And I think it's gonna really bless a lot of people.
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You know, somebody in our ministry, which I think is cool.
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Shout out to Rebecca, that's a mighty evangelist right there.
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Yeah, for sure.
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Real short.
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She tells me it on fire.
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Yeah, Rebecca, you're super short, but you're super tall.
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Yeah, she carries a lot of meekness and a lot of boldness, yeah, for sure.
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And um, yeah, man, I when I when I read this testimony, I was like, bro, this is this is it.
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And you know, like my ministry just evangelism.
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I go to all types of places.
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I go, you know, I I I was actually at the the come out, come out pride thing that was just on Saturday.
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It was it's like the come out.
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Kevin, what was it called?
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Come out pride.
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I mean, I'm so far.
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Yeah, I know.
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It was come out Orlando, so it was like it was like an event where 20,000 um people from the LGBTQ plus community came together and it was like the whole thing.
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So we just went out there, spread the love of Jesus, just letting people know like, hey, it's not about you being gay, Muslim, Christian.
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Yeah, yeah, it's really about the cross.
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That's why that's what it's about the blood.
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Like, we need a revelation of the gospel, anybody, yeah, whether you're in witchcraft, whether you're a drug dealer, whether you're just a businessman, it doesn't matter.
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We need our sin to be wiped clean by the blood.
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So it's the it's the it's the blood of the lamb and the word of the testimony that defeats the enemy.
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Yeah, yeah.
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So that's I feel like that's what this this podcast is gonna be you know, wrapped around, and then I feel like many people will be encouraged.
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I hope so.
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So like let's let's let's do it.
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So you you guys were obviously married.
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Yes.
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Um, we were together for eight years, um, married for two of them.
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Wow.
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So yeah, um, and that's actually when we encountered God was during the marriage.
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So like we were on our way, like seeking him throughout the process of our relationship, but it wasn't until after the marriage that we actually encountered him.
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Wow.
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I love how you say encountered.
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Yeah.
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There was a difference.
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Yeah.
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Yes, talk about that.
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So like there's a difference between encounter and what would you say?
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The other side of things.
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Um when we were seeking him, I was just hearing uh a bunch of fluff from some sermons.
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I was still living however I wanted to.
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But with the encounter, there was like a shift in me that wanted to please him.
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That wanted to live the way he he spoke of.
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Wow.
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So like encountering him, it was like, oh, okay, you're you're real.
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Yeah.
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How'd y'all encounter him?
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Like what happened?
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Oh man, did you want to jump to that?
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That's like so it's the the end you want us to start from the like the way he led up, because it's or we could start at the encounter and go back down.
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It doesn't matter.
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So we'll just be done the encounter right now, since that's the the current question.
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So um you wanna say your encounter for So um for me, um I was with like a a coworker who was taking me to work.
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I my car had broken down, so she was giving me rides to work every morning.
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Um and on those rides, she would always play like a sermon on her phone, but kind of like a background noise.
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She wasn't like shoving it in my face or anything.
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And um so every morning I'm listening to this, it started like planting seeds in me.
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I started getting interested and intrigued to the point to where now I'm not waiting to like these car rides anymore.
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I'm watching sermons on my own.
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Yeah, like in the house and stuff.
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Um so then I start doing that, start playing them out loud, it's catching her attention, like I'm washing dishes or something, and it's just playing, and so she's being wrapped into it too.
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Yeah, I was like, where does it come from?
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Yeah, I never heard a preacher talk like this, so I'll be clean and I'll just stop it.
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I'll just staring at the TV.
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Yeah.
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And I'm like, okay, and I'll just keep moving.
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There was a difference in the way he preached.
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Um at this time, Pastor John Gray.
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Okay, okay.
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Yeah, cool.
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So he was just speaking in a way that was like hitting me, and I was like, okay, this is different, it's not the theatrics that I've been seeing through other people.
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Um, so now I'm listening to these uh sermons and lightly like leaning into who is this God.
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Um but fast forward, I I say the um salvation prayer at the end of one of the sermons.
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I had no idea what I was doing.
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Didn't know what that meant, but I just did it.
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So then after that, I just started feeling this random need to fast.
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Again, I don't I don't know what fasting is, so I didn't grow up in the church, so all of this stuff is new to me.
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So your your parents no nobody was like like forcing Christianity on y'all, no my my family is very much of the world.
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Okay, okay, in the world.
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Wow I'm officially the first one who like started following Christ.
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Come on, yeah.
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Um, but yeah, so um I'm watching these sermons.
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Sorry, lost my turn top.
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Oh, you're good, you're good, you're good.
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Okay, I started fasting.
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Yeah, so I started fasting.
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Um she's over here at the same time trying to get me to not fast because she's like, What are you doing?
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You're starting yourself.
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Because she had no like understanding of what it is.
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So when she woke up and was like, I'm gonna fast, I'm not eating.
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She barely eats at the end of the day.
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So I was like, that don't make no sense.
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Like, what kind of God would tell you not to eat?
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And then I'm being petty because this is before Christ.
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I would order all her favorite food.
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Eating right now, like I know you're hungry.
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But something was so stirring in me was like, No, don't do it.
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I can't tell you why or what that meant, but obviously, I think it's like once I said that prayer, he already he's like, Okay, you invited me in, I'm gonna start doing a working.
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Yeah, but I didn't know.
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Yeah, I didn't say the prayer.
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Sound it seemed too big for me.
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I don't know.
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I just you want to watch, just here to observe what this is.
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But she was, yeah, moving.
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And this was like over stretch over some years.
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Like this didn't happen overnight.
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This was took took some took some time.
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So from the car rides to when you you as you said that prayer, it took time, like Yeah.
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So from me saying the prayer to us getting to that point of the encounter took a while.
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Because so now we're just living life normally still.
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This is after I already said the prayer and I've done the fasting, and I'm not in a church or anything, we're just watching sermons every now and then online.
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And then one morning is like probably like 4 a.m.
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I'm woken out of my sleep by my name, like a very loud voice.
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A very it was audible.
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This is the first time I ever heard the audible voice of God, the only time it's ever happened.
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And he didn't say like any long sentence or anything, it was literally just my name.
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And like the whole apartment like rumbled.
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Like it wasn't loud in the sense of someone yelling, it was like you felt a power that shook the place.
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It was it was the craziest thing I experienced.
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But even in that moment, something like in me knew who it was.
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I could not explain, it's just a knowing in my spirit.
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Um, so then I started to hear in my head after that um you and Candy need to get baptized.
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So I was like, okay, and then he leads me right to a scripture.
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I haven't been reading the Bible, I don't know it.
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He gives me a scripture, I can't remember what it was at this time.
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Um but I open it up and it starts talking about baptism.
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And it's like, okay, I don't I still don't know what this is, so I get on YouTube, start um searching up what is baptism in.
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And to my knowledge, at that time, it was just like, oh, it's just letting people know that you follow God now.
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Like, yeah.
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And I was like, okay, I can do that.
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I call her up and I was like, all right, we need to get baptized.
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She agrees immediately.
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Like, all right, no hesitation.
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And y'all are
still married at this point.
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We we weren't married yet.
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We're dating dating.
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Oh, so yeah, okay, y'all were dating.
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Yeah, wow, wow.
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Yeah.
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Um, so she agrees, and then we're like, all right, now that we both agree, how do we get baptized?
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We're not a part of a church, we don't know how you do this.
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Yeah, yeah, yeah.
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You're just like like what do I do?
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It was the discussion before it kind of was like, Do we fill up the tub?
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Like, how do we know we don't know?
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Okay.
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So then we get on Google and we find the the nearest church.
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Of course, God being God, we pull up to this church and they're preparing for baptism.
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Wow.
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So we take the little course, um, set up and uh we get baptized.
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Wow.
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Yeah, so then we start attending this church because we're like, all right, this must be like our home.
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And then she gets into some things.
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Oh yeah.
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So I did the salvation at at baptism because I was like, okay, I guess this is this makes sense in a way.
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And fell in love with the church.
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I started to join like a small group um with some women, and I told them, well, don't we tell them, just tell them a little bit more about me, but I'm not telling them about us.
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To a point where one of the girls were like, How come you don't bring your friend with us?
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And I'm like, actually, guys, it's not my friend, it's my girlfriend.
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And they're like, Oh, and that atmosphere just like changed.
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Like we were in a restaurant, it was loud, I feel like it got quiet immediately when I said it.
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And they're like, Okay, um, don't say anything to anybody.
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Like, our church isn't ready for something like that.
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Like, we love you, but like our church isn't like advanced enough to handle something of that like type of topic.
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And I just like shut down and I was just like, Okay.
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And I was like, all right, maybe I'm overthinking it, but then after like some days has passed, like I'm out of the group chat, I'm out of the event center, like planning.
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Like, they completely like took me out.
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And I started
to get like really angry, and like that's when church hurt began to come to me.
00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:51.679
I feel like that was like the perfect opportunity for you guys to explain who Jesus was to me, but instead you were like, no, this is too big.
00:12:51.919 --> 00:12:55.840
So I came to her and I was like, This is why I don't go to church, this is why I don't mess with Christians.
00:12:56.080 --> 00:12:59.519
It just it hardened my heart so bad because I didn't grow up in church either.
00:12:59.679 --> 00:13:06.320
I had a bad taste of Christians growing up because when we did go to church, it was always um hypocritical to me.
00:13:06.480 --> 00:13:10.000
I was like, I knew more about what's going on in Miss Jones' house than I knew about Jesus.
00:13:10.480 --> 00:13:12.960
And so it was just always like a thing.
00:13:13.039 --> 00:13:15.039
I'm like, I don't wanna do this.
00:13:15.279 --> 00:13:20.159
But she was so kind and she was like, well, we can have Bible study at home or we can figure it out at home.
00:13:20.399 --> 00:13:26.720
And I was just like, okay, because at the end of the day, even when she called me to to get baptized, it's like I may not trust God, but I trust you.
00:13:27.679 --> 00:13:31.120
So I was just like, okay, we're gonna do we're gonna do this at home.
00:13:31.440 --> 00:13:37.120
So Nina was kind of leading you in the Lord, like like God had her as the vessel, like you were following her, she follows Christ.
00:13:37.279 --> 00:13:39.039
Yeah, but she never pushed it on me.
00:13:39.440 --> 00:13:50.159
It was like she was always just like, I found this out, or I'm gonna do this, or I woke up and I'm just like, okay, and I'm watching from afar, like how things are like slowly changing in her.
00:13:50.799 --> 00:13:54.960
Um so yeah, when I was so angry, she was still so kind.
00:13:55.200 --> 00:13:55.360
Wow.
00:13:55.759 --> 00:13:56.159
I was done.
00:13:56.480 --> 00:14:01.120
There was, I don't know, it was this something in me was just like really seeking.
00:14:01.440 --> 00:14:07.840
So when all of that happened, like, yeah, it sucked, but it still was like something still wanted to know who is this person.
00:14:08.000 --> 00:14:08.320
Yeah.
00:14:08.559 --> 00:14:12.720
So um then we followed that path of still watching things online.
00:14:12.960 --> 00:14:19.759
Um, but since I was seeking with no guidance, no one discipling me, all those things, we start falling into witchcraft.
00:14:19.919 --> 00:14:21.200
Yeah, that's only natural.
00:14:22.799 --> 00:14:26.559
Start hanging out with the wrong type of people, exactly getting influence in the role.
00:14:27.919 --> 00:14:31.360
Yeah, yeah, I already know how like yeah, like so like you like what?
00:14:31.519 --> 00:14:34.159
Like Yeah, that's that's that's so like okay, okay.
00:14:34.240 --> 00:14:38.240
So you get baptized, get saved, and then like get little church hurt and it's unfortunate.
00:14:38.320 --> 00:14:46.480
I want to say, like, you know, like I feel like the body of Christ Christ needs to be equipped for all types of walks, and I think God is doing that in this last hour.
00:14:46.559 --> 00:14:50.960
Yeah, you know, that's why he's rising people like us up to be able to help the body of Christ.
00:14:51.039 --> 00:14:53.679
So, you know, whatever church that is, you know, amen.
00:14:53.759 --> 00:14:58.159
And we we love you, we forgive you, and we know that the Lord is is working on his church.
00:14:58.480 --> 00:14:59.440
That's what revival is.
00:14:59.519 --> 00:15:02.960
Yeah, yes, you know, yeah, yeah, resuscitation.
00:15:03.200 --> 00:15:03.759
So, amen.
00:15:03.919 --> 00:15:09.440
So, like you guys are just like, okay, let's do it, and then at the witchcraft, like, how did that happen?
00:15:09.759 --> 00:15:12.240
Well, that's more like social media.
00:15:12.399 --> 00:15:15.840
That's so dangerous to be seeking and hearing all these different voices.
00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:16.399
Yep.
00:15:16.879 --> 00:15:19.519
Um, so we don't know which true time.
00:15:19.840 --> 00:15:22.480
Yeah, it was so trendy at the time.
00:15:22.559 --> 00:15:28.559
The people that we were hanging with, like um, like I had one that she considered, I guess, herself a good witch or something.
00:15:28.639 --> 00:15:34.159
She would always have like the bracelets and tell me like this is what you need to do when you pray and all the crystals and all the stuff.
00:15:34.320 --> 00:15:38.559
And I just it seemed okay, like it seemed right.
00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:43.840
But that's the problem because the stuff in witchcraft actually works.
00:15:44.000 --> 00:15:44.320
Yeah.
00:15:44.480 --> 00:15:47.039
So so you're telling me this, I'm seeing it work.
00:15:47.200 --> 00:15:49.039
So I'm like, oh, so this must be the way.
00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:55.679
Um, I mean, we weren't into it to where we were like, oh, we consider ourselves witches and all that stuff, because I was still learning at that time too.
00:15:55.840 --> 00:16:02.879
So we were just like doing like you know, the crystal stuff, uh, burn balls and manifestations, yeah, paying attention to the moon and all that stuff.
00:16:03.200 --> 00:16:04.879
Kind of like white magic, like the good magic.
00:16:05.200 --> 00:16:05.519
Yeah, yeah.
00:16:05.679 --> 00:16:06.879
And they they kind of painted like that.
00:16:06.960 --> 00:16:18.480
And I I was I used to think the same thing, like I'm in the what I'm on the good side and not the bad side, and I'm like healing and peace and all these things, and and like you you get effects of it, but then like inside, what did you guys feel?
00:16:18.559 --> 00:16:23.039
Did you guys feel like oh things started going left in the house?
00:16:23.679 --> 00:16:24.879
Yeah, yeah.
00:16:25.120 --> 00:16:26.080
A lot of attacks.
00:16:26.240 --> 00:16:30.879
Yeah, um, I was dreaming uh very heavily.
00:16:31.200 --> 00:16:34.879
Uh that seems to be one of the gifts guys
has given me where I dream a lot.
00:16:35.120 --> 00:16:38.320
So they were taking full advantage at that time.
00:16:38.559 --> 00:16:43.519
I was um there was times where I was like astral projected out of my body unwillingly.
00:16:43.840 --> 00:16:45.039
I didn't even know what was happening.
00:16:45.200 --> 00:16:48.159
Like I so many crazy things was happening when I went to sleep.
00:16:48.480 --> 00:16:50.799
I was I got to a point where I was scared to go to sleep.
00:16:51.840 --> 00:16:53.679
Yeah, she'll wake up, she'll scream.
00:16:54.000 --> 00:16:56.240
Like it's just yeah, it was it was a lot.
00:16:56.320 --> 00:17:00.960
And then at this time, we were like engaged, we're planning our wedding too at this time.
00:17:01.519 --> 00:17:04.960
So it was it was a it was a lot.
00:17:05.440 --> 00:17:09.839
So you would watch you would watch her like screaming in her sleep, yeah, and be like, yo, wake up, wake up, okay, okay.
00:17:10.240 --> 00:17:15.440
Yeah, like the sweats, the everything, and then with me, I just I fell into really bad like depression and anxiety.
00:17:15.759 --> 00:17:26.319
I don't know what yeah, like it was like I think I had struggled with it before, but the enemy just took it full force, and I just started to look at her a little differently too, like, okay, like her view on God.
00:17:26.400 --> 00:17:31.119
I was like, God, like you're trying to take her away from me, like changing her or whatever.
00:17:31.279 --> 00:17:37.920
Like it was uh my insecurity was like revving up so much, and I would just cry so much, like all the time.
00:17:38.000 --> 00:17:42.559
And I'm like, I don't know if this is gonna work, I don't know like what's happening.
00:17:42.640 --> 00:17:45.599
Like, I just I couldn't get like a grip of anything, like it was just really bad.
00:17:46.079 --> 00:17:52.160
All the deep wounds he was just poking at, like just like the enemy was going like in, like he was like going full force to stop what's obviously happening.
00:17:52.400 --> 00:17:54.480
But then the only thing that was going right was the wedding planning.
00:17:54.799 --> 00:18:05.279
Because not knowing that the that the devil blesses too at the same time, because everything, every resources that we needed, he was making it work because we didn't have the funds, but it was just pouring in.
00:18:05.359 --> 00:18:09.200
He was making a way, paying for the venue, like we didn't have no small one, it was pretty big.
00:18:09.359 --> 00:18:10.720
Yeah, it was a big wedding.
00:18:10.960 --> 00:18:11.839
It was a big wedding.
00:18:12.319 --> 00:18:15.119
Wow, so like the devil's like blessing and tormenting at the same time.
00:18:15.680 --> 00:18:18.720
At the same time, but in our mind, we're like, oh, see, this is okay.
00:18:18.799 --> 00:18:27.519
We thinking that it's from God, like He's making this happen, He's providing for us, like, because we're also being told from all these social media posts and stuff, oh, you can be a gay Christian.
00:18:27.759 --> 00:18:30.319
So we were believing this, we were promoting it, yeah.
00:18:30.960 --> 00:18:36.240
We even had at that time a TikTok page at that time that was leading up to our uh wedding.
00:18:36.400 --> 00:18:41.200
Like it was like track with us and counting down the days, and it was going viral and everything.
00:18:41.440 --> 00:18:42.400
What year was this?
00:18:42.720 --> 00:18:43.920
Uh 2024?
00:18:44.480 --> 00:18:45.039
No, 2024.
00:18:45.200 --> 00:18:46.319
No, no, that's sorry, sorry.
00:18:46.720 --> 00:18:47.279
2022.
00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:48.880
2024 is when we had the encounter.
00:18:49.279 --> 00:18:50.079
So 2022.
00:18:50.559 --> 00:18:51.680
Yeah, it was yeah.
00:18:52.079 --> 00:18:55.759
So you got astral projected out of your body, like unwillingly.
00:18:56.079 --> 00:19:18.240
Like all I remember was laying there, and then I felt like the bread started to vibrate and out of nowhere, I'm like flying through colors, and I ended up what looked like my mom's room, because I'm like looking at this dresser, and I was like, I know this dresser and the things that are on it, and I turn and it's like I see my mom sleeping in her bed.
00:19:19.359 --> 00:19:23.119
But I couldn't control where I went next or how it was going.
00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:24.480
I I was like, what is happening?
00:19:24.960 --> 00:19:25.680
That's not the Holy Spirit.
00:19:25.839 --> 00:19:33.279
Yeah, because I because like when it's ever like you know that you guys know that witchcraft is control, like you feel controlled, like you can't you can't even do it, like you can't get out of it.
00:19:33.359 --> 00:19:41.039
Yeah, like see people have sleep paralysis, or like like I've heard people like being taken by a different spirit on LSD and mushrooms.
00:19:41.440 --> 00:19:44.960
I was hearing things like a creature like growl by my bedside and stuff.
00:19:45.039 --> 00:19:48.079
Like I didn't see, it was just darkness, but I could hear the growls.
00:19:48.240 --> 00:19:49.599
Like it was a crazy time.
00:19:49.680 --> 00:19:51.359
I had thought I was losing my mind at one point.
00:19:51.839 --> 00:19:52.559
You felt fear, right?
00:19:52.799 --> 00:19:53.200
Oh yes.
00:19:54.880 --> 00:20:00.079
Were you we were you seeing anything spiritual or just kind of like she was yeah, hers was more spiritual.
00:20:00.240 --> 00:20:04.640
I didn't I didn't really dream and stuff like that, but I was in a place where I was smoking a lot.
00:20:04.799 --> 00:20:07.599
Like I was trying to to stop crying.
00:20:07.759 --> 00:20:10.160
I was trying to stop being so overwhelmed with emotions.
00:20:10.240 --> 00:20:15.680
Like I know like now God the way He built me uses my emotions for like how the way I pray and stuff like that.
00:20:15.839 --> 00:20:18.079
But at that time I was like, I just gotta get high.
00:20:18.240 --> 00:20:21.920
I need to be high, I need to get on, I need to numb myself so I can go to
sleep.
00:20:22.960 --> 00:20:31.200
So but in her defense, like how she was saying, uh she felt like all these emotions towards me, like God's pulling her away and all that stuff.
00:20:31.519 --> 00:20:40.799
This is also the same time that since I'm like still seeking, I'm now having like a Bible time and prayer in the morning, like having a devotion time.
00:20:41.039 --> 00:20:45.839
So it's even if it was like five minutes, so you know how the Bible does work in you, even if you don't know.
00:20:46.480 --> 00:20:51.039
So now I'm starting to just experience conviction about our relationship.
00:20:51.599 --> 00:20:53.359
At the time I didn't know it was conviction.
00:20:53.920 --> 00:20:56.079
It was just this feeling I had.
00:20:56.480 --> 00:21:03.920
Um so now it's causing me to um act a little different towards her, mainly in the sense of intimacy.
00:21:04.319 --> 00:21:04.480
Yeah.
00:21:04.880 --> 00:21:06.720
So it started putting like a wedge there.
00:21:06.960 --> 00:21:12.880
So she was starting to feel like insecure and like I didn't want her during that time.
00:21:13.279 --> 00:21:16.480
So it wasn't all just oh God, you're taking her away from me.
00:21:16.640 --> 00:21:18.960
It was like the actions that were happening as well.
00:21:19.200 --> 00:21:20.319
There's a disconnect, yeah.
00:21:20.559 --> 00:21:21.680
And you and you could feel it.
00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:23.039
Yeah, because she's like fasting a lot.
00:21:23.119 --> 00:21:26.000
So at one point I was like, Are you fasting just so you don't have to like do that?
00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:28.079
Like how my what is going on?
00:21:28.160 --> 00:21:30.559
It's like the timing, like everything was just like, I don't understand.
00:21:30.640 --> 00:21:38.480
So I started journaling to God a lot more of my love letters to God, and I was writing, I was like, Lord, you're turning my wife into a nun, and I don't like it, I don't understand.
00:21:38.720 --> 00:21:39.680
Fix it, Jesus.
00:21:39.839 --> 00:21:43.039
The things that I was praying for, I know it's like crazy god ridiculous.
00:21:43.359 --> 00:21:45.920
But hey, it was like honest, yeah, you bring everything to God.
00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:52.720
So I was bringing it all to him because I'm like, I just don't understand like what's happening, like because we were fine, like we never argued in our marriage.
00:21:52.799 --> 00:21:58.000
We have like discussions, something's off, but it was such like a safe space, like for us to handle things.
00:21:58.079 --> 00:21:59.839
So when this was this disconnect was happening.
00:22:00.319 --> 00:22:01.920
And I was like, what is this?
00:22:02.720 --> 00:22:02.960
Yeah.
00:22:03.279 --> 00:22:17.519
This is this is like Romans 8 28, like all things work for the good of those who love God, you know, the call to court to the I'm just thinking that and I'm like, man, like for anyone watching, like it's like I feel like people think they have to be perfect theologians and like perfect and know the whole Bible.
00:22:17.599 --> 00:22:20.240
It's like, no, God knows where we're at and He meets us where we're at.
00:22:20.480 --> 00:22:20.799
For sure.
00:22:20.880 --> 00:22:21.039
Yeah.
00:22:21.200 --> 00:22:25.920
Like you guys went and you guys you got baptized, like just like, man, like I believe the gospel.
00:22:26.160 --> 00:22:26.319
Yeah.
00:22:26.480 --> 00:22:32.240
And you said the prayer and all that stuff, like God meets you where you're at, and then the Holy Spirit starts to work.
00:22:32.319 --> 00:22:34.960
Like you said, the word starts to convict and starts to transform.
00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:36.960
It's like it's it's a sanctification process.
00:22:37.119 --> 00:22:41.279
Whether you're one day saved or a hundred years saved, we're always being sanctified.
00:22:41.519 --> 00:22:41.839
Exactly.
00:22:42.079 --> 00:22:42.559
Absolutely.
00:22:43.039 --> 00:22:46.799
So y'all are saved, about to get married, yeah.
00:22:47.279 --> 00:22:51.759
Have a TikTok where you're talking, like you're promoting like y'all's future marriage.
00:22:51.839 --> 00:22:52.000
Yeah.
00:22:52.160 --> 00:22:52.400
Yes.
00:22:52.640 --> 00:22:56.319
Like letting people know, like, hey, you can be, you know, a Christian and be gay.
00:22:56.720 --> 00:22:57.599
You could be both, right?
00:22:57.680 --> 00:22:58.000
Yeah.
00:22:58.240 --> 00:23:01.039
Which that's a that's a very interesting topic.
00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:04.319
Like, because that's like, man, that's so good.
00:23:04.480 --> 00:23:07.920
Would y'all say y'all were saved when you were gay?
00:23:08.240 --> 00:23:15.119
Or when I say gay, I'm talking about like when you're in an active homosexual relationship practicing it, would you say you were saved?
00:23:16.240 --> 00:23:19.039
What I know now, I don't believe I was.
00:23:19.359 --> 00:23:19.599
Wow.
00:23:20.000 --> 00:23:21.839
In that moment, I I thought I was.
00:23:22.240 --> 00:23:22.720
Wow.
00:23:23.039 --> 00:23:29.759
But I've I've learned like how if I I'm not doing the things that he's pleased with.
00:23:29.839 --> 00:23:33.920
Like he even says, like, if you love me, you will keep my commandments.
00:23:34.319 --> 00:23:35.759
So I wasn't showing love.
00:23:36.079 --> 00:23:37.200
But were you convicted about it?
00:23:37.839 --> 00:23:41.920
Not until like um when I started reading the Bible and I started to seep in.
00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:42.799
Okay.
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:54.640
Um but also with that at that time when um the conviction happened, everyone likes to focus on the part of like uh our attraction to each other.
00:23:55.119 --> 00:23:58.079
But no one talks about how God wants everything.
00:23:58.319 --> 00:24:00.799
It wasn't just about us being together.
00:24:01.200 --> 00:24:05.599
So he started actually uprooting and bringing out other things at that time as well.
00:24:05.920 --> 00:24:14.240
So I was also not just waking up in panics from being tormented,
but he brought back a lot of like trauma.
00:24:15.839 --> 00:24:18.480
He was like boil, it was all boiling to the surface.
00:24:18.640 --> 00:24:20.880
Like, like I want to heal that, I want to touch that.
00:24:21.039 --> 00:24:23.039
Um that's a work of the Holy Spirit.
00:24:23.279 --> 00:24:23.519
Yes.
00:24:23.759 --> 00:24:28.720
So I'm I'm I'm just like I'm just being like in my mind, I'm like, man, like that's that's the word coming alive.
00:24:29.039 --> 00:24:37.759
Yeah, like for an unbeliever, let's say someone like like like me before coming to Christ, I didn't I I didn't care about nothing about the Bible.
00:24:38.079 --> 00:24:42.079
Just being honest, like I was like, like this is capped, like this is this is a white man's religion.
00:24:42.160 --> 00:24:48.559
That's how I used to think, like this is no power, like but when I encountered the Holy Spirit, like that's the same thing happened.
00:24:48.640 --> 00:24:51.839
Like I started wanting to repent of fornication, repent of the witchcraft, repent.
00:24:52.000 --> 00:24:53.759
Like anything the Bible said, I was like, I'm with it.
00:24:53.839 --> 00:24:57.599
Sometimes it would be hard, and but then I would but I would fight, you know what I mean?
00:24:57.839 --> 00:25:09.200
So like so you you would say like at this point, like you had the spirit, Holy Spirit conviction, but maybe you were working in like you're working iniquity, like you were obviously not on the like like with like obviously we know that, right?
00:25:09.279 --> 00:25:12.640
Like, but when you say like you you cared, like you had conviction.
00:25:12.880 --> 00:25:23.759
Yeah, and the conviction came like right like we were married, like when the the conviction started to seep in right before the actual wedding.
00:25:23.920 --> 00:25:24.000
Okay.
00:25:24.559 --> 00:25:25.119
Wow.
00:25:25.519 --> 00:25:30.960
Um, it wasn't like full blown then, but that's when it started like creeping in, and I didn't know that it was conviction.
00:25:31.200 --> 00:25:35.519
And also when this was happening, I didn't tell her because I I didn't know what was happening.
00:25:35.680 --> 00:25:38.240
How can I even explain to her what's happening inside of me?
00:25:38.480 --> 00:25:40.799
Like, but she did open up more with the trauma.
00:25:40.880 --> 00:25:48.480
So I was just thinking, like, we need therapy to help her with trauma, not thinking that that's like the Holy Spirit was doing this work.
00:25:48.559 --> 00:25:52.880
So I was just trying to like love on her well as she was going through what she was going through.
00:25:53.039 --> 00:25:53.440
Yeah.
00:25:54.160 --> 00:25:55.039
This is so spiritual.
00:25:55.200 --> 00:25:55.599
I love it.
00:25:55.839 --> 00:25:57.519
Like, this is this is just so Jesus.
00:25:57.599 --> 00:26:00.079
Like, this is what he does, his love and kindness chases us down.
00:26:00.160 --> 00:26:05.920
Like, yes, like when we like we think that he's like a like a drill start, like mean, like just wants to come down and and hurt people.
00:26:06.160 --> 00:26:18.160
Like, he's like, No, he's like he's merciful and he chases us down, meets us where we're at, whether it's a drug addict on the street or someone in witchcraft, whatever it is, like he's not mad, he's in love and he's like desperate to save.
00:26:18.240 --> 00:26:24.319
And so Holy Spirit is working, he's not giving up on y'all because you're thinking about or because you're planning a marriage.
00:26:24.400 --> 00:26:27.680
Yeah, he's not, he's like, No, I'm I'm gonna turn this into a testimony.
00:26:28.000 --> 00:26:30.079
Because he's still a good father, and he still cares.
00:26:30.480 --> 00:26:31.200
He's so kind.
00:26:31.440 --> 00:26:38.720
So even if it wasn't the wedding that he wanted for us, he still was like, I'm I still love to use it and I'm gonna use it.
00:26:38.799 --> 00:26:41.839
I'm gonna use all this, and all this is gonna be a witness.
00:26:42.240 --> 00:26:45.839
Yeah, like everybody at this wedding is gonna witness my my glory.
00:26:46.160 --> 00:26:46.720
For sure.
00:26:47.039 --> 00:26:47.440
For sure.
00:26:47.759 --> 00:26:48.799
They really have.
00:26:49.119 --> 00:26:52.720
Um, but it is that whole thing of using all the things for our good.
00:26:52.880 --> 00:26:58.559
Because even in this time where I'm getting the conviction and I'm like, well Lord, am I supposed to like say something?
00:26:58.720 --> 00:27:00.240
Like, what is happening?
00:27:00.880 --> 00:27:03.599
Some people, it's probably gonna mess with some people's theology.
00:27:04.000 --> 00:27:05.920
He told me not to, like, not to leave.
00:27:06.079 --> 00:27:08.559
It wasn't like a don't leave forever, it's more like a not right now.
00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:10.160
Yeah, yeah, it was.
00:27:10.480 --> 00:27:12.319
And I love it because you were being led by the spirit.
00:27:12.559 --> 00:27:12.880
Exactly.
00:27:13.039 --> 00:27:16.960
Yeah, like this is not black and white, this is called a Rhema word, like it's a spoken now word.
00:27:17.200 --> 00:27:21.759
Yeah, because a lot of people think, like, oh, why would he tell you to stay in a homosexual relationship?
00:27:21.920 --> 00:27:30.400
Like, he just wanted me to wait on him because if we would have done it at that time, we were not mature enough, like we would have fallen right back in and probably be further away from him.
00:27:30.799 --> 00:27:31.680
I want to talk about Samuel.
00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:32.799
Y'all know Samuel in the Bible.
00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:45.599
By the way, when you know God called Samuel's name, and but then I'm thinking about like even when Samuel was late to for the sacrifice for Saul, like and Saul was black and white with it, and he was like, Well, Samuel's not here, I'm gonna make the sacrifice.
00:27:45.759 --> 00:27:50.079
Because of that, Saul lost lost his anointing and went down a crazy path.
00:27:50.319 --> 00:27:58.240
So he was technically
right, because Samuel was late, the prophet, but he didn't he wasn't he wasn't sensitive to what God wanted.
00:27:58.319 --> 00:28:00.240
He didn't, he didn't he didn't understand the heart of the father.
00:28:00.400 --> 00:28:00.640
Yeah, yeah.
00:28:00.880 --> 00:28:05.039
So what you're but by you saying, hey, like right, God said not not now, like no.
00:28:05.359 --> 00:28:07.119
That I believe that that was the Lord.
00:28:07.200 --> 00:28:15.920
Yeah, and I believe he was setting like setting something up, and again, it will mess with some people's theology because it's hard for them to believe that you can hear God's voice.
00:28:16.480 --> 00:28:19.680
And and I love the scriptures, they're holy, they're sacred.
00:28:19.759 --> 00:28:31.839
I fully believe in the full counsel of God, the 66 books, but I know that what I read it it helps me understand the nature and character of God and it leads me to deeper intimacy with the Holy Spirit so I can hear what He's saying now.
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:35.920
So you listen to the now arena word, which is not right now, amen.
00:28:36.240 --> 00:28:39.440
And and the process continued in obedience, you're being obedient.
00:28:39.519 --> 00:28:40.480
Yeah, amen.
00:28:40.640 --> 00:28:42.000
I I I co-sign that.
00:28:44.960 --> 00:28:45.759
I cosign it.
00:28:46.319 --> 00:28:47.200
So go ahead, talk to me.
00:28:47.279 --> 00:28:47.839
So what happened?
00:28:47.920 --> 00:28:53.119
So like I say, not right now, you're keeping it low-key, like because you don't want to like bombard her.
00:28:53.359 --> 00:28:57.680
Yeah, so that was also um making me think that it was okay in a way.
00:28:58.400 --> 00:28:59.359
We're still planning for this morning.
00:28:59.440 --> 00:29:01.519
It's like, oh, it's like God's like, yeah, let's stay together.
00:29:02.319 --> 00:29:04.799
So we continue to push forward.
00:29:04.960 --> 00:29:05.279
Yeah.
00:29:05.440 --> 00:29:11.920
Um, but then uh I start watching sermons where he they're talk talking about like witchcraft and things like that.
00:29:13.920 --> 00:29:15.119
I'm not gonna tell it.
00:29:15.200 --> 00:29:15.680
Go ahead.
00:29:15.920 --> 00:29:21.200
Yeah, she watches one sermon in the middle of I don't know if it was early, it was super early.
00:29:21.359 --> 00:29:26.960
She just starts going crazy and finding every crystal, everything of witchcraft wakes me up.
00:29:27.119 --> 00:29:28.079
Where's your where's your crystals?
00:29:28.240 --> 00:29:28.799
Where's your bracelets?
00:29:28.960 --> 00:29:29.200
Where's it?
00:29:29.359 --> 00:29:32.079
And I'm like, hold on, rubbing my eyes like over here.
00:29:32.319 --> 00:29:37.599
She like swept the whole apartment throughout every Halloween decoration, everything.
00:29:38.880 --> 00:29:41.279
She was like, This is the problem, this is it.
00:29:41.359 --> 00:29:42.079
We gotta get it out.
00:29:42.160 --> 00:29:45.920
And it's just like, as for me in my house, we serve the Lord, yeah.
00:29:46.400 --> 00:29:47.599
It was like, okay.
00:29:47.839 --> 00:29:48.480
Who's the preacher?
00:29:48.559 --> 00:29:49.200
What was the sermon?
00:29:49.359 --> 00:29:49.759
Do you remember?
00:29:50.079 --> 00:29:51.440
It was Transformation Church.
00:29:51.599 --> 00:29:51.920
Wow.
00:29:52.319 --> 00:29:53.279
Pastor Mike Todd.
00:29:53.519 --> 00:29:53.920
Wow.
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:55.279
And it was like, I'm done.
00:29:56.160 --> 00:29:57.359
Get us all out of here.
00:29:57.519 --> 00:29:57.839
Amen.
00:29:58.079 --> 00:29:58.240
Amen.
00:29:58.480 --> 00:29:59.680
So like a radical repentance.
00:29:59.759 --> 00:29:59.839
Yeah.
00:30:00.079 --> 00:30:04.160
Because once you knew, like, this thing, this is not of God, according to the scriptures, like, I'm just done.
00:30:04.240 --> 00:30:05.440
Like, yeah, amen.
00:30:05.680 --> 00:30:07.279
I was hearing him in that moment too.
00:30:07.359 --> 00:30:10.319
Like, I couldn't remember where certain certain things were or things that we even had.
00:30:10.559 --> 00:30:14.079
Uh she's speaking it just getting through everything.
00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:16.480
Just like watching, like, what is happening right now?
00:30:16.799 --> 00:30:17.440
He was leading me.
00:30:17.519 --> 00:30:19.839
He was like, Yeah, there's something back like o'clock in the morning.
00:30:21.119 --> 00:30:21.839
Grab it.
00:30:22.079 --> 00:30:22.559
Wow.
00:30:23.119 --> 00:30:26.960
Um, so yeah, so then fast forward, uh, we end up getting married.
00:30:28.160 --> 00:30:28.480
How was that?
00:30:28.559 --> 00:30:29.119
How was the marriage?
00:30:29.200 --> 00:30:31.599
Like, was it did you feel like man, this is it?
00:30:31.759 --> 00:30:34.880
Did you feel being completely honest?
00:30:34.960 --> 00:30:35.599
It felt amazing.
00:30:35.680 --> 00:30:35.839
Yeah.
00:30:36.000 --> 00:30:36.240
Wow.
00:30:36.400 --> 00:30:41.119
I just, yeah, the happiest day of my life, happiest, like honeymoon, everything was like perfect.
00:30:41.359 --> 00:30:41.680
Wow.
00:30:41.920 --> 00:30:45.279
Like I didn't, I at this point wasn't feeling any type of conviction.
00:30:45.359 --> 00:30:47.519
So I didn't know like what that was.
00:30:48.000 --> 00:30:50.799
Um, so yeah, I'm just in my head living my best life.
00:30:50.960 --> 00:30:52.640
Like everything's fine.
00:30:52.799 --> 00:30:56.240
I was like in my head, I'm like, we just need therapy and we need to go on vacation.
00:30:56.400 --> 00:30:56.799
That's it.
00:30:57.119 --> 00:30:58.319
Like honeymoon, dude.
00:30:58.640 --> 00:31:00.079
Yeah, like I'm like, that's all.
00:31:00.160 --> 00:31:03.279
I'm like the wedding planning was probably just a lot, organizing.
00:31:03.359 --> 00:31:06.640
So I'm like, once we just get past this little poop, I'm like, we'll be good.
00:31:07.759 --> 00:31:10.160
Did you like get married by a pastor or no?
00:31:12.640 --> 00:31:12.799
Okay.
00:31:13.519 --> 00:31:21.119
What's crazy is there's there's
something in us that still knows God's word because we refuse to get married in the church.
00:31:21.279 --> 00:31:21.920
Yeah.
00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:22.960
Wow.
00:31:23.440 --> 00:31:26.400
Like when you think back on it, like that just felt wrong.
00:31:27.119 --> 00:31:32.160
There was a conviction there where you were like, I'm we're not we know this goes against the word, so we're just not gonna Yeah.
00:31:32.240 --> 00:31:42.720
And then there were so many people that were like thinking that we were like it was that sent a lot of messages that didn't come to the wedding or with an RSVP or sent like a Bible verse back.
00:31:43.119 --> 00:31:45.519
Um it was yeah, it was just it was a lot.
00:31:45.680 --> 00:31:46.319
It was a heavy time.
00:31:46.480 --> 00:31:49.119
I was like, I would love to go, but not if it's at a wedding at a church.
00:31:49.200 --> 00:31:52.559
I was like, okay, so I guess we'll be out of church, but yeah.
00:31:53.039 --> 00:31:53.599
Wow.
00:31:54.000 --> 00:31:56.000
Wow, so that that's that's interesting.
00:31:56.160 --> 00:32:05.440
So like you guys had that conviction, and then some people didn't come, and some people were kind of like, hey, we're not gonna come because of the Yeah, not in the most loving way, but really, yeah.
00:32:05.920 --> 00:32:06.319
Talk about that.
00:32:06.400 --> 00:32:17.519
Was it like like real, like, like just like like like what do you feel like hatred or like just like what did you feel like pretty much um I felt rejection, like, and I think that was like something that already like I was struggling with.
00:32:17.680 --> 00:32:31.039
So to to see people that like I love that's known me my whole life to just not even love on me, but try to like be like, oh, a Bible verse, like just a hateful Bible verse instead of you just like talking to me.
00:32:31.279 --> 00:32:42.559
Like nobody said anything, nobody ever said, like, oh okay, this isn't of God or anything like that, because they're not following God, so we don't have anybody of like followers like in our family to like lead us.
00:32:42.720 --> 00:32:45.519
You just know, like, oh, it's Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve.
00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:46.400
That don't do nothing to me.
00:32:46.559 --> 00:32:49.759
Yeah, I think that was the craziest part.
00:32:49.920 --> 00:32:56.240
It's like you guys are hypocrites, none of you are following God, but as soon as it came to this, you're sending it.
00:32:56.400 --> 00:32:59.519
Now they want to pipe up and wow, yeah.
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:00.559
That's so good.
00:33:00.880 --> 00:33:03.519
And I've I've actually heard that phrase, it's not Adam and Eve.
00:33:03.599 --> 00:33:05.440
I mean, it's not Adam and Steve, Adam and Eve.
00:33:05.519 --> 00:33:06.319
And I'll be transparent.
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:14.799
I've I've actually said it before years ago, and I've like had to like God has worked on my heart to look at the community, like the LGBTQ plus community and just every community differently.
00:33:14.880 --> 00:33:30.079
And like, I because I've been on my like, I would say immature Pharisee mode where I'm like trying to like every like if you're not of Jesus, like, you know, like because I'm casting devils out and I'm seeing miracles and I'm seeing people getting healed on and saved, and I'm like, oh, like they're the ops, you know what I mean?
00:33:30.400 --> 00:33:38.559
Yeah, and God had to work on my heart to even like show me like, hey, like, how would you receive it if you were on that side and you didn't know, you know what I mean?
00:33:38.640 --> 00:33:42.960
And he it's it's a it's it's I feel like the body of Christ is maturing and will always be maturing.
00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:49.920
There's always gonna be the you know the more immature ones who just don't understand, yeah, and it kind of brings it it's fear, yeah.
00:33:50.319 --> 00:33:53.119
It's so it's fear, it's like, oh shoot, this goes against the words.
00:33:53.279 --> 00:33:53.680
I support it.
00:33:53.759 --> 00:33:54.240
I don't know what to do.
00:33:54.400 --> 00:33:55.119
Bible verse.
00:33:55.200 --> 00:33:55.680
Yeah, yeah.
00:33:55.920 --> 00:33:58.559
It's more it's not like I hate them, it's like I don't know what to do.
00:33:58.640 --> 00:34:03.839
I just know like they're feeling something like this isn't right, and they don't know what to do, and they don't know how to express themselves.
00:34:04.240 --> 00:34:18.800
And what you're saying, what y'all saying is like, man, you wish somebody would have expressed themselves and just been like, hey, you know, maybe I can't make it because I don't agree, but I want to tell you like I love you so much, and I ask like I you know, to where it's like it's love, like yeah, so y'all felt the opposite.
00:34:18.960 --> 00:34:23.599
Y'all felt like just kind of shunned, rejected, I like just thrown to the side.
00:34:23.760 --> 00:34:26.880
Yeah, which seems to be a common thing because that's the same thing that happened at the church.
00:34:27.039 --> 00:34:32.960
Yeah, each time there's been opportunities for someone to like minister to us and they didn't do it.
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:34.719
Wow, this is so good, bro.
00:34:35.039 --> 00:34:45.119
I think this is this part this episode is gonna help a lot of pastors and Christians all around the world understand how we should be um just ministering to people who come out of all types of things, right?
00:34:45.760 --> 00:34:48.480
And like specifically the LGBTQ plus community.
00:34:48.559 --> 00:34:58.719
I feel like people in that community, because I've sat down with many and I've you know built relationships with many who are still actively in it and I'm just praying for them, and you know, but I've noticed it's a lot of rejection.
00:34:58.800 --> 00:35:10.079
Yeah, it's a lot of it, it's like it stems from rejection, a lot of it, and then it's like then they're extremely rejected for standing up for something,
and it's like then they it's like the rejection comes with pride.
00:35:10.639 --> 00:35:15.679
Because like when it's so painful, it's like you almost gotta cover it with pride in order to protect that wound.
00:35:15.760 --> 00:35:18.000
Yeah, and then you what would y'all think about that?
00:35:18.239 --> 00:35:20.320
No, that's the LGBT, it's pride.
00:35:20.719 --> 00:35:23.280
Yeah, quite literally, it's literally pride.
00:35:24.239 --> 00:35:27.920
So every time a rejection hit, it just strengthened like my pride even more.
00:35:28.159 --> 00:35:34.880
Um, and I feel like when it comes to people talking to us, and I want to let everybody know it's about relationship too.
00:35:35.199 --> 00:35:41.840
At the church, I was having relationships with those women, so they could have spoken to me with those um people, family members.
00:35:41.920 --> 00:35:42.880
I have a relationship with you.
00:35:42.960 --> 00:35:44.000
You could have poured into me.
00:35:44.079 --> 00:35:52.239
It's different from a pastor that I don't know parking at me compared to somebody that like I love you, I trust you, where you're getting to know me, you can pour into me.
00:35:52.400 --> 00:35:54.000
So it's about timing as well.
00:35:54.320 --> 00:35:55.599
Like let them come to the church.
00:35:55.679 --> 00:35:58.000
If he's if he's wearing a dress, let him come to the church.
00:35:58.159 --> 00:36:03.679
Straight up, and then after a while, like I know you want to be called this, but actually let me tell you about my Lord and Savior.
00:36:04.239 --> 00:36:12.000
Like, allow that relationship to lead them because that's what people just want to be seen and loved and heard, and not constantly like you're going to hell.
00:36:12.079 --> 00:36:12.880
Yeah, that's it.
00:36:12.960 --> 00:36:13.679
Like, that's not the heart.
00:36:13.760 --> 00:36:16.159
The heart of God is not stop your sin because you're gonna go to hell.
00:36:16.400 --> 00:36:21.199
Like, like He's not condemning, it's like I say I'm looking at someone driving in their car drunk.
00:36:21.360 --> 00:36:25.360
Like, I'm not like you're driving in that car drunk, you're gonna die in a car accident.
00:36:25.440 --> 00:36:26.719
That's like speaking a word curse.
00:36:26.880 --> 00:36:27.280
Yeah, yeah.
00:36:27.679 --> 00:36:31.360
My heart is, hey, you don't you if you continue to do this, something can happen.
00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:32.880
I want you to stop, come out.
00:36:33.199 --> 00:36:34.880
Like it's it's a different way of doing it.
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:42.320
Like instead of speaking condemnation on someone, it's more like, hey, let's talk about it because this can lead down a really bad path.
00:36:42.480 --> 00:36:44.320
So you're saying, like, more relational.
00:36:44.719 --> 00:36:44.960
Yeah.
00:36:45.199 --> 00:36:48.559
Like I think that's that's that's that's extremely important because that's what Jesus did.
00:36:49.199 --> 00:36:50.079
He was very relational.
00:36:50.159 --> 00:36:51.920
He sat with tax collectors, zealots.
00:36:52.079 --> 00:36:57.519
Zealots were like modern day, like, like, bro, like they these are people that were like went against, they were nationalists.
00:36:57.599 --> 00:37:02.480
Yeah, like Simon the Zealous was a nationalist, like he went against Rome, like trying to overthrow.
00:37:02.639 --> 00:37:05.599
And then you got a tax collector who was with Rome, Matthew.
00:37:05.920 --> 00:37:06.719
Two opposite people.
00:37:06.800 --> 00:37:10.079
You got a fisherman who's like a low, like drunkard, like wow, dude.
00:37:10.320 --> 00:37:18.880
So you got all these different types, even John, the one who talks about love, and and and he was the man saying Jesus setting fire on this town, like he was a hothead, him and his brother.
00:37:19.039 --> 00:37:31.039
So it's like God was relational with all these people from different places because that's the only way He knew that's the only way these people are gonna be are gonna be exactly what I've called them to be and and be able to build my church.
00:37:31.280 --> 00:37:31.760
Yeah, yeah.
00:37:32.000 --> 00:37:35.679
So y'all didn't feel that relational aspect from that church, y'all didn't feel it from the family members.
00:37:35.760 --> 00:37:43.199
Y'all kind of felt the opposite, where it was like the only place that we were feeling that accepting was in the community, in the LGBT community.
00:37:43.440 --> 00:37:57.599
But then also, like, that's where like the word, I don't want to say like word Chris, but yeah, like being at a community, like, yeah, you're gay, yeah, you live your truth, be whole, like holiness is wholeness, and it's just like the twisting of like word identity, yes.
00:37:58.239 --> 00:38:08.880
Yeah, so like as the world is shoving away, this community is giving you that love that you've been needing and wanting forever, not knowing that that's not God's love.
00:38:09.360 --> 00:38:11.599
Wow, it was more like acceptance, yes.
00:38:11.760 --> 00:38:16.000
So it was like kind of like like a like a false healing to your rejection.
00:38:16.079 --> 00:38:23.519
It was like more like a wow, they accept me instead of I love you, but let me bring you to actual wholeness through the word and through the power of the Holy Spirit.
00:38:23.840 --> 00:38:24.800
This is so good, man.
00:38:24.880 --> 00:38:28.000
I feel like a lot of people are gonna watch this who are in that community.
00:38:28.079 --> 00:38:32.320
Like, I just feel it that are still in it, that are looking, that they just they just want hope.
00:38:32.559 --> 00:38:37.280
So I feel like all pastors, leaders, Christians in general around the world need to like learn from this.
00:38:37.440 --> 00:38:42.320
Like, we can't just look at people and condemn them and speak a word curse over them.
00:38:42.480 --> 00:38:44.400
It is a word curse, saying to someone, you're gonna go to hell.
00:38:44.480 --> 00:38:49.679
Like, it's more like,
hey, I want you to go to heaven, and this is how you can make it.
00:38:49.760 --> 00:38:59.119
And it's not by you trying to like look at all the sins you have and like I gotta just no, it's receive the Holy Spirit first because you can't do it without the Holy Spirit, and then you need discipleship.
00:38:59.199 --> 00:39:02.559
And you might have people that come to your your church, like like you said, with address.
00:39:02.880 --> 00:39:05.039
Yeah, we have people that come from all walks of life in our church.
00:39:05.199 --> 00:39:10.719
Yeah, we got warlocks in our church that don't haven't given their life to Jesus, but they're getting they get healed and and they're still coming.
00:39:10.800 --> 00:39:15.119
We have people who are LGBTQ plus community, like like they're actively in it.
00:39:15.199 --> 00:39:22.639
Yeah, we've had married couples, we've had people in fornication, we've had and we love on them, and we welcome everyone, the unbelievers are the believers.
00:39:22.800 --> 00:39:26.159
So that's that's so good that you guys are you guys caught that.
00:39:26.239 --> 00:39:27.840
I I thank God for the experience.
00:39:28.079 --> 00:39:42.559
Yeah, so like you're in the LGBTQ plus community, you feel all this this this this this acceptance, but but did you did you all like know at all like this is I don't know, like this is kind of like it feels weird as false, or did you feel like fully this is it?
00:39:44.880 --> 00:39:58.000
Um I feel like I feel like it was a little bit of just deceive, like just being deceived onto certain things, and the Bible says like my people perish from the from knowledge, from lack of knowledge, and I I wasn't knowledgeable.
00:39:58.079 --> 00:40:10.960
So when they're saying like God is love, like this is love, I'm like, okay, if all I'm doing is loving and I'm being a good person, then like that's what it takes to go to heaven, and they're confirming all this stuff, but all of it is just deceiving because you don't know.
00:40:11.599 --> 00:40:16.880
So yeah, like Jesus was love, but he was very kind, but he was truthful, yes.
00:40:17.199 --> 00:40:33.760
Like even how he corrected Pharisees, like he was kind, but it was in a way that they needed specifically for them because they were religious and they thought that they knew it all, so he knew they need this this kind of kind love of like, hey, you're a snake, and and they're and I believe a lot of them got saved.
00:40:34.000 --> 00:40:39.920
I believe that after his uh resurrection and ascension, I believe a lot of them were like, yo, we were tripping and got saved.
00:40:40.000 --> 00:40:47.199
Yeah, but um, I feel like with the the drunkards and the prostitutes, he was different too because they're so rejected and they're so they're they're so just down and out.
00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:48.719
He was like, Come on, let me eat with you.
00:40:48.880 --> 00:40:54.159
Yeah, let me chop it up with you, let me just let's just let's just chill and like let me let me love on you because they needed love.
00:40:54.480 --> 00:40:56.559
Yes, like and a different type of love.
00:40:56.639 --> 00:40:59.199
The probably the love that Jesus gave the prayer sees was love.
00:40:59.280 --> 00:41:02.960
I believe the love that he gave the like it's like it's adapting, it's knowing.
00:41:03.119 --> 00:41:03.440
Uh-huh.
00:41:03.679 --> 00:41:11.119
So it's like LGBTQ plus community, like you guys said, was like it was it was a false love because it was lead it was leading you the wrong path the wrong way, obviously.
00:41:11.519 --> 00:41:14.400
Yeah, and it just it feels good and stuff, but ignorance is bliss.
00:41:14.800 --> 00:41:15.360
Sure, sure.
00:41:15.599 --> 00:41:17.760
Like it feels really good when you don't know.
00:41:18.960 --> 00:41:20.800
So that was my take.
00:41:21.280 --> 00:41:23.039
Because we didn't know what love actually was.
00:41:23.119 --> 00:41:30.239
We we believed they were showing us what love is, but through this whole process, this journey with us, we really have learned love.
00:41:30.400 --> 00:41:33.119
Like God is love, not love is love.
00:41:33.440 --> 00:41:40.079
So, yeah, if that's the case, if God is love, that makes homosexuality incorrect.
00:41:40.400 --> 00:41:42.480
It can't be love is love, God is love.
00:41:42.880 --> 00:41:46.559
So that means if he is love, I need to follow what God says.
00:41:47.519 --> 00:41:53.360
And then um the whole thing of us coming out of this was about love.
00:41:53.519 --> 00:41:54.639
The root of everything was love.
00:41:54.880 --> 00:41:58.320
He loved us, he gave his life, he said, he sacrificed for us.
00:41:58.880 --> 00:42:01.840
Then I fell in love with him, so I sacrificed for him.
00:42:02.239 --> 00:42:08.719
I already loved her, I needed to give up this relationship as well because she needs it to secure her eternity.
00:42:08.880 --> 00:42:12.320
So all of this is about love at the end of the day.
00:42:13.679 --> 00:42:17.519
So and that's the enemy's goal to distort what love is.
00:42:17.840 --> 00:42:20.000
Yeah, it's so real, like love is kind, patient.
00:42:20.480 --> 00:42:26.400
He the enemy can be patient and do all like and and and mimic those attributes and bring and bring someone straight to to hell.
00:42:26.880 --> 00:42:29.119
But then, but it's like God is love, right?
00:42:29.199 --> 00:42:34.639
And there's there's certain things we can detect to see if love is you know patient, kind, all these things, but it's gonna land you to truth.
00:42:34.880 --> 00:42:41.199
Like we like as Christians, we have to love people to truth, but we best believe the enemy is gonna try to mimic that.
00:42:41.280 --> 00:42:42.000
He perverts that.
00:42:42.079 --> 00:42:49.039
Yeah, oh look, I'm patient, I'm kind, I'm gentle, but then it's like it's like a snake, it's like, okay, but I want you to follow this.
00:42:49.199 --> 00:42:53.679
Like, you could I love you could be patient and
kind to someone to lead them to drunkenness and addiction.
00:42:53.920 --> 00:42:54.239
Exactly.
00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:57.840
Like the devil don't come like do meth right now, like you're gonna die.
00:42:57.920 --> 00:43:04.000
No, like it'll be that kind girl at the party that is being nice to you, and you're like, oh wow.
00:43:04.079 --> 00:43:06.639
Like I talk to a lot of addicts, and that's what they say.
00:43:06.719 --> 00:43:13.840
Yeah, they'd be like, Man, it was that girl, that guy, and I thought I loved them, and they led me to the heroin, they led me to the fentanyl.
00:43:14.000 --> 00:43:15.360
Now I'm here homeless on the streets.
00:43:15.599 --> 00:43:15.760
Yeah.
00:43:15.920 --> 00:43:18.320
So the enemy is like he comes as an angel of light.
00:43:18.480 --> 00:43:18.800
Yes.
00:43:18.960 --> 00:43:21.440
And it seems like, oh man, this is so nice.
00:43:21.519 --> 00:43:23.840
And yeah, but love should always lead us to truth.
00:43:23.920 --> 00:43:29.519
So what y'all are saying is like you peeped that eventually, like, man, it wasn't aligning up with the word, like what God says.
00:43:29.679 --> 00:43:32.559
So it was almost like it was it was not almost, it was a counterfeit.
00:43:32.880 --> 00:43:33.119
Yes.
00:43:33.280 --> 00:43:34.559
Would y'all say it was very counterfeit?
00:43:35.199 --> 00:43:40.480
We're laughing because the word choice you used is counterfeit, and that's exactly what God used with us.
00:43:40.639 --> 00:43:42.079
Yeah, the word counterfeit.
00:43:42.239 --> 00:43:43.280
Yeah, yes, yeah.
00:43:43.519 --> 00:43:44.000
Wow.
00:43:44.159 --> 00:43:44.400
Yeah.
00:43:44.719 --> 00:43:46.719
And I promise you, I've never watched any testimony.
00:43:47.760 --> 00:43:48.559
We haven't even shared that.
00:43:48.639 --> 00:43:49.119
We didn't say that.
00:43:49.360 --> 00:43:49.760
Oh, for real?
00:43:49.920 --> 00:43:50.159
Yeah, yeah.
00:43:50.400 --> 00:43:51.679
So that's why it was yeah.
00:43:51.840 --> 00:43:52.320
That's of course.
00:43:52.719 --> 00:43:59.599
But the fact that he loved us enough like to tell you the way for me, because if she would have said it, I would have been.
00:44:00.079 --> 00:44:00.480
So hurt.
00:44:00.559 --> 00:44:04.320
I would have date ever I could in my power to make sure that she didn't leave.
00:44:04.800 --> 00:44:10.639
Because I wasn't as far in my walk as she was to understand what she was going through.
00:44:10.800 --> 00:44:16.800
But then God was so kind and he allowed me to get there through when we did find a new church.
00:44:16.960 --> 00:44:17.119
Yeah.
00:44:17.280 --> 00:44:20.639
What he said to me was like um two birds, one stone.
00:44:20.800 --> 00:44:22.480
That was also why I had to wait.
00:44:23.280 --> 00:44:25.280
I want to read a verse that aligns with what you're saying.
00:44:25.760 --> 00:44:35.840
Uh Proverbs 15, 23 says, A man has joy by the answer of his mouth, and a word spoken in due season, how good it is, exclamation mark.
00:44:36.159 --> 00:44:41.440
So it's scriptural, like a word released in the right season, how good is it?
00:44:41.760 --> 00:44:42.159
That's good.
00:44:42.320 --> 00:44:44.079
This is where we need discernment, like as Christians.
00:44:44.320 --> 00:44:49.840
Because imagine me going to like, I don't know, like a witchcraft store, and I've done this, I've done this, where I'm just like, uh repent.
00:44:51.280 --> 00:44:54.239
They're gonna be like, bro, like, who is this guy?
00:44:54.320 --> 00:44:57.119
Like this guy's mean, like this, like and they're not gonna repent.
00:44:57.280 --> 00:44:57.599
Exactly.
00:44:58.239 --> 00:45:01.599
But if I go and I and I and I, Holy Spirit, what do you want?
00:45:01.760 --> 00:45:06.880
I just want you to meet them where they're at, listen to them, just pray for them, and I'll and then and then I'll continue to work on them.
00:45:07.039 --> 00:45:07.280
Amen.
00:45:07.840 --> 00:45:10.400
I go on assignment for specifically what God wants.
00:45:10.559 --> 00:45:13.280
I plant maybe you water it, but God gives the increase.
00:45:13.599 --> 00:45:14.000
Of course.
00:45:14.239 --> 00:45:17.280
So I love it how like this testimony has so much Bible in it.
00:45:17.440 --> 00:45:19.119
And it was so you weren't ready.
00:45:19.199 --> 00:45:25.119
If she would have, if she would have told you that, if Nina would have told you that earlier, you would have been like, bro, I'm I'm done, like, I'm out of here.
00:45:25.199 --> 00:45:27.119
Like, yeah, no, I would have what?
00:45:27.280 --> 00:45:27.519
No.
00:45:27.599 --> 00:45:31.679
In my mind, I was like, You love somebody that you don't you fight for it, you don't have them leave.
00:45:31.760 --> 00:45:33.119
Like, I was a little crazy back then.
00:45:33.199 --> 00:45:34.000
No, where are you going?
00:45:37.119 --> 00:45:37.920
Excuse me.
00:45:38.159 --> 00:45:43.119
Oh, God, God is kind to to wait on me.
00:45:43.280 --> 00:45:48.400
Um, and we were going through some family stuff at the time, and then she brought up that we should probably find a church.
00:45:48.559 --> 00:45:50.159
And I was like, I'm not going back to church.
00:45:50.480 --> 00:45:51.440
It's like no.
00:45:51.760 --> 00:45:56.079
Um, but we did a little church shopping and then we found one that we liked.
00:45:56.159 --> 00:45:57.119
Well, she liked it.
00:45:57.280 --> 00:45:58.639
I don't like big churches.
00:45:58.800 --> 00:45:59.039
Yeah.
00:45:59.199 --> 00:46:03.519
So, but then a part of me also felt like it's actually good if it's big because they won't find out about us.
00:46:04.000 --> 00:46:04.719
Sneak in, sneak out.
00:46:04.880 --> 00:46:07.519
We can sneak in, sneak out, it works.
00:46:07.920 --> 00:46:10.079
Um, so we were gonna be consistent.
00:46:10.239 --> 00:46:13.280
Our pastor says, like, give God like a year of your life or whatever.
00:46:13.440 --> 00:46:15.840
That was like around that time, you're like, we're gonna be
consistent.
00:46:16.079 --> 00:46:20.400
Um, and I liked it, I liked the preaching, but I didn't want to be involved.
00:46:20.719 --> 00:46:24.320
And then eventually I joined God working on me.
00:46:24.400 --> 00:46:27.519
Somebody invited me to do a small group, but it was called Bible and Business.
00:46:27.679 --> 00:46:29.760
So I'm like, okay, you're not in my business.
00:46:29.920 --> 00:46:33.840
You learn about business and what the guy what God says about business.
00:46:33.920 --> 00:46:35.199
And it was a really big group.
00:46:35.280 --> 00:46:37.519
So again, sneak in, sneak out.
00:46:37.679 --> 00:46:46.000
Um, and then towards the end of it, the the leader she saw I was wearing a wedding, she was like, Oh, like, like who are you, like your husband or all this other stuff?
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:50.639
And I knew that she just got married, so I flipped, I was like, actually, let me see your wedding pictures.
00:46:50.719 --> 00:46:51.599
Didn't you just get married?
00:46:51.679 --> 00:46:52.159
And that was it.
00:46:52.320 --> 00:46:54.320
People love to show their pictures and their babies.
00:46:54.480 --> 00:46:56.320
So that was like an easy in and out.
00:46:56.480 --> 00:47:06.880
And I was like, Okay, and I felt like alright, I made it through the first small group, and then after that, the the next semester, my friend was saying that you should join a group called Freedom.
00:47:07.199 --> 00:47:10.559
And Freedom has a really bad reputation, reputation.
00:47:10.719 --> 00:47:18.800
It's not bad at the same time, but like it's that small group that like it's like if you know, you know, like it breaks chains, it helps you flip.
00:47:18.960 --> 00:47:22.480
Yes, it helps you break down all the barriers that's keeping you from Jesus.
00:47:22.639 --> 00:47:24.239
It is amazing.
00:47:24.320 --> 00:47:25.679
And I was like, I don't, I don't want that.
00:47:25.760 --> 00:47:28.000
Like, I'm like, I'm fine, we're just taking our time.
00:47:28.159 --> 00:47:29.519
It's just like, no, you should do it.
00:47:29.599 --> 00:47:34.559
So I ended up doing it, and as soon as I got into the small group, I didn't say anything for about two weeks.
00:47:34.719 --> 00:47:39.679
I was just very standoffish, and the Holy Spirit started kind of like working on me.
00:47:39.760 --> 00:47:41.440
Like, I started feeling like, oh, I need to tell them.
00:47:41.599 --> 00:47:44.639
He was like, Tell them who you are, and I'm like, no, no.
00:47:45.599 --> 00:47:48.400
And then the leader was like, Candy, do you want to say something?
00:47:48.559 --> 00:47:50.079
And I'm like shaking my head, no.
00:47:50.239 --> 00:47:53.519
And I'm like, I'm married to a woman and I love my life.
00:47:53.599 --> 00:47:54.960
I'm just here to know who God is.
00:47:55.199 --> 00:47:55.760
That's it.
00:47:55.920 --> 00:47:58.159
Like, I don't want to change anything, I just don't know who God is.
00:47:58.320 --> 00:48:01.199
And then it got quiet again, and my trigger, I started packing up my stuff.
00:48:01.360 --> 00:48:02.000
Just like, where are you going?
00:48:02.079 --> 00:48:02.880
I was like, Oh, I'm leaving.
00:48:02.960 --> 00:48:03.840
I was like, No, we love you.
00:48:03.920 --> 00:48:04.559
It's okay.
00:48:04.719 --> 00:48:05.360
Come on.
00:48:05.599 --> 00:48:07.760
Like, I was like, girl, sit down anyway.
00:48:07.920 --> 00:48:11.280
And like it was and it's like it's what I needed.
00:48:11.360 --> 00:48:22.320
And I think like when she did that, it's like a wall dropped, and I was able to be vulnerable and talk to them, like telling them about like us and like our plans, and everybody's just it just felt like love.
00:48:22.480 --> 00:48:30.320
But then I think week four or something, um, we were talking on sexual immorality, and I didn't know what that was.
00:48:30.559 --> 00:48:36.159
So I asked my leader and she was just like, um, I was like, does that include me?
00:48:36.320 --> 00:49:01.039
And she was just like, actually, yeah, but then it also includes me, like if I have sex with my boyfriend or if um she's engaged, and she just starts using all the other examples of sexual immorality, and then um she was like, But yes, it does include homosexual relationships, and then she brought me to like First Corinthians where it says list all the people that will not inherit the kingdom of God, and it hit my soul in a way that I couldn't even like imagine.
00:49:01.280 --> 00:49:11.599
Um, and that was probably like on a Tuesday, and then all of a sudden, I think probably like Friday, Nina sent me this podcast because I don't watch podcasts, I'm just fighting with what I just read on Tuesday.
00:49:11.760 --> 00:49:13.679
So she sends me this lovely podcast.
00:49:13.920 --> 00:49:16.719
Yeah, at the because remember, I'm always the one that's like seeking.
00:49:16.880 --> 00:49:23.840
So I was listening to a lot of podcasts, watching a lot a lot of sermons, and one day I came across this podcast that had Jackie Hill Perry and Meg Ash.
00:49:24.960 --> 00:49:26.480
Yeah, shout out to Jackie Hill Perry.
00:49:26.559 --> 00:49:26.960
Come on.
00:49:27.199 --> 00:49:30.800
Um, so it was actually the hardly initiated podcast.
00:49:30.960 --> 00:49:31.679
Yeah, hardly initiated.
00:49:31.840 --> 00:49:34.239
I've I've been on there before the new owners.
00:49:34.400 --> 00:49:36.559
Um so she There's new owners?
00:49:36.800 --> 00:49:37.679
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:49:37.760 --> 00:49:38.320
It's not the same guys.
00:49:39.039 --> 00:49:40.079
Yeah, it's not the same guys anymore.
00:49:40.320 --> 00:49:40.880
I didn't even know that.
00:49:41.039 --> 00:49:42.400
Yeah, I heard that recently too.
00:49:43.199 --> 00:49:44.400
Oh wow, I gotta hit them up.
00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:45.119
I didn't even know that.
00:49:45.280 --> 00:49:45.679
Wow.
00:49:46.719 --> 00:49:54.079
Um, but so it was an episode where they're just um speaking with the callers, they're answering a
bunch of different questions, a whole bunch of different topics.
00:49:54.239 --> 00:50:11.119
And then she Jackie Hilperry gets on the phone with this lady who calls in, who's married to a woman, and they just start speaking, and Jackie Hilperry starts talking about how God can be at the foundation of a gay marriage and all these things, and it's like for some reason when she said it, it hit my spirit.
00:50:11.679 --> 00:50:14.880
Like, I don't know, there was I I understood it.
00:50:15.199 --> 00:50:16.320
Like it set in.
00:50:16.400 --> 00:50:20.159
I felt the conviction when she said it, and I and I was just rocked in that moment.
00:50:20.239 --> 00:50:22.320
I was like, oh, okay.
00:50:22.639 --> 00:50:23.199
Wow.
00:50:23.360 --> 00:50:26.719
Um, so now I'm feeling all these emotions, and I'm like, what is happening?
00:50:26.960 --> 00:50:28.880
So I send it to Candy.
00:50:28.960 --> 00:50:30.880
Like I text her, I was like, Oh, here, watch this podcast.
00:50:30.960 --> 00:50:33.199
Actually, I didn't say anything, I just sent she just sent the podcast.
00:50:33.360 --> 00:50:34.320
I didn't say anything.
00:50:34.800 --> 00:50:40.000
So because it could be about anything, because remember, they're having a whole bunch of different topics in that episode.
00:50:40.159 --> 00:50:46.400
So I was like, I just wanted to see what would happen if I send it to her, like if she would receive the same revelation I just got.
00:50:46.639 --> 00:50:49.199
Wow, and I and I was like sick in the Holy Spirit on her.
00:50:49.280 --> 00:50:51.280
I was like, guys, that was you get it.
00:50:51.519 --> 00:50:53.119
Like, I'm not doing it.
00:50:53.599 --> 00:50:54.000
Cool.
00:50:54.159 --> 00:50:55.039
That was exactly that.
00:50:55.119 --> 00:50:57.440
Cause I was towards like the end of the day, I'm cleaning up.
00:50:57.599 --> 00:51:00.719
I was like, oh, I can listen to this podcast while I'm like finishing up and stuff.
00:51:00.960 --> 00:51:03.360
And at first, like how she said it, it had a bunch of different topics.
00:51:03.519 --> 00:51:05.840
So I'm like, okay, yeah, this is good, this is nice, da-da-da.
00:51:06.320 --> 00:51:14.239
Get to the part with Jackie, and I'm and I hear the question, and I stop and I sit down, and I'm listening, and I'm starting to get angry.
00:51:14.400 --> 00:51:18.480
Like something in me is like, why what why would she send me this?
00:51:18.639 --> 00:51:22.000
Who is this person that's telling like this other woman this?
00:51:22.079 --> 00:51:22.960
Like, this doesn't make it sit.
00:51:23.119 --> 00:51:26.000
And I'm fighting, I'm wrestling, I'm like, I'm like, what is going on?
00:51:26.239 --> 00:51:27.360
Like, this can't be true.
00:51:27.519 --> 00:51:31.119
So we get I get home and I was just like, So that podcast you sent me.
00:51:31.199 --> 00:51:32.800
And she was like, it was good, right?
00:51:32.960 --> 00:51:34.159
Nothing, nothing.
00:51:34.239 --> 00:51:35.280
And then she's like, goes to bed.
00:51:35.360 --> 00:51:38.320
Like it was just and I was like, okay, whatever.
00:51:38.480 --> 00:51:44.400
And then the next day, um, Saturday hits, and I got a client that cancels, and I'm like, you know what?
00:51:44.480 --> 00:51:47.519
I'm about to look up this Jackie Hill Perry lady to see if she's really about something.
00:51:47.599 --> 00:51:48.880
She just wanted these people that are talking.
00:51:48.960 --> 00:51:52.800
I'm angry, and I'm like googling everything, everything that I can get.
00:51:53.039 --> 00:51:53.679
Crazy.
00:51:53.840 --> 00:51:59.599
But then I started listening to her story, and I'm my heart is like breaking because her story is like her.
00:52:00.000 --> 00:52:03.039
And then when I find out that she raps, I almost lost it because she raps.
00:52:03.519 --> 00:52:05.199
And I was just like, this can't be true.
00:52:05.280 --> 00:52:07.440
I'm like, this, I was like, this isn't it.
00:52:07.679 --> 00:52:23.519
And um my client ended up not coming in, and I'm alone in the salon, and I'm screaming to God, and I was just angry, like really wrestling, like one of them Jacob moments, like wrestling with God, because I'm like, this doesn't make any sense.
00:52:23.599 --> 00:52:24.559
Like, why would you do this?
00:52:24.719 --> 00:52:27.599
Like, why are you um making it seem like why is it wrong now?
00:52:27.760 --> 00:52:33.519
Like you should have said something before, and I'm I'm like all these things, and I'm screaming at him.
00:52:33.679 --> 00:52:36.559
I'm like, and if you're real, show me you're real.
00:52:36.719 --> 00:52:38.639
And he stepped in the room.
00:52:39.440 --> 00:52:43.199
And the the temperature changed, and it felt like I was drunk.
00:52:43.360 --> 00:52:46.880
It was a vibration that like I couldn't even like stand.
00:52:46.960 --> 00:52:53.199
So I just dropped to my knees and I'm trying to get balanced, and I'm like, I can't look up, but I'm just like, I'm like, whoa, and I'm swaying.
00:52:53.360 --> 00:52:54.800
And I was just like, no, no, no, no, no.
00:52:54.880 --> 00:52:55.519
I was like, no.
00:52:55.679 --> 00:52:57.679
I was like, please, I was like, please don't do this to me.
00:52:57.760 --> 00:53:00.559
I was like, please, I'm like, you can have this business, you can have my car, you have my house.
00:53:00.719 --> 00:53:02.159
I'm like, you can take everything, don't take care.
00:53:02.320 --> 00:53:03.599
I'm like, you cannot take care.
00:53:03.760 --> 00:53:06.719
And I'm crying, I'm weeping, and I feel like I gotta throw up.
00:53:06.800 --> 00:53:11.920
So I'm like dry heaving, like at the same time, and I'm like, what is I'm like, what is going on?
00:53:12.400 --> 00:53:15.519
And I just the stillest voice is like just come to me.
00:53:15.920 --> 00:53:16.719
And I'm like, no.
00:53:17.280 --> 00:53:20.000
I was like, I was like, no, no, I can't do it.
00:53:20.400 --> 00:53:23.840
And I was still wrestling for a while, and I was just
like, okay.
00:53:24.719 --> 00:53:28.639
I was like, I'm like, I'm like, okay, I'm like, I'm gonna do this.
00:53:29.280 --> 00:53:31.039
I'm like, I'm like, thank you.
00:53:31.199 --> 00:53:36.239
And I'm like crying, and I just felt this peace that I've never experienced before.
00:53:36.400 --> 00:53:38.320
This love that like wiped over me.
00:53:38.400 --> 00:53:44.400
It was like as much as I loved her, couldn't even compare to the way that he loved me in that moment.
00:53:44.800 --> 00:53:47.920
And I just I probably was on the floor on my face.
00:53:48.000 --> 00:53:49.519
It felt like hours, it could have been 30 minutes.
00:53:49.599 --> 00:53:52.480
I don't know, God's outside of time, but I was just a wreck.
00:53:52.719 --> 00:53:56.559
My body was hurting, like it just felt like I was really fighting for so long.
00:53:56.719 --> 00:54:01.519
So by the time I got home, she was already asleep, and I was just like, okay.
00:54:01.679 --> 00:54:03.119
I was like, I don't know what that was.
00:54:03.199 --> 00:54:04.159
That was crazy.
00:54:04.480 --> 00:54:06.000
Go to bed the next morning.
00:54:06.079 --> 00:54:09.519
It was Sunday, and she's getting ready for church, and I will not get out the bed.
00:54:09.599 --> 00:54:11.199
And I'm like under the covers of talking to God.
00:54:11.280 --> 00:54:13.039
I was like, I know I said yes to you last night.
00:54:13.199 --> 00:54:14.239
Today's a no.
00:54:16.000 --> 00:54:17.199
Today's a no, thank you.
00:54:17.360 --> 00:54:18.639
Yeah, and she's like, Come on, we gotta go.
00:54:18.719 --> 00:54:19.280
I was like, I'm not going.
00:54:19.360 --> 00:54:20.800
She's like, stop playing, we're going to church.
00:54:20.960 --> 00:54:22.400
I was like, okay, fine.
00:54:22.639 --> 00:54:32.880
You go to church, and um, we get there, we sit down, worship tears, start praying, like the pastor's preaching, nothing on like homosexuality.
00:54:33.039 --> 00:54:33.920
We looked crazy.
00:54:34.320 --> 00:54:37.039
I know everybody around us was like, this sermon is not that deep.
00:54:37.360 --> 00:54:41.119
Yeah, we're gonna be pulling, we all gonna be crying like this.
00:54:41.280 --> 00:54:48.880
We were losing it, but we still haven't communicated to each other, so I can't even like process why she's crying just as hard as I'm crying.
00:54:49.119 --> 00:54:55.440
Um why were you crying like because Holy Spirit was wrecking me on the inside?
00:54:55.679 --> 00:54:58.320
Like, yeah, because I remember I sent her the podcast.
00:54:58.400 --> 00:55:04.880
So ever since I've been wrestling with that, even while that's happening with her in her salon suite, I'm wrestling at home with God.
00:55:05.119 --> 00:55:07.519
So we both didn't know we were wrestling with God.
00:55:08.880 --> 00:55:15.440
Yeah, and it was on the summer was on David and Goliath, and it was about like slaying your your giants in your life.
00:55:15.760 --> 00:55:22.559
And we get in the car, we leave church, and we're just sitting in the parking lot, still crying, still not saying nothing to each other, just a wreck.
00:55:23.039 --> 00:55:26.239
And um, usually we would like go to dinner or something like that.
00:55:26.320 --> 00:55:27.840
But it was like our date night.
00:55:28.000 --> 00:55:30.880
Yeah, but um driving, don't even still crying.
00:55:31.039 --> 00:55:39.440
Don't even know how we didn't get into an accident, but like we're like, let's just like pull pull over, pulled over to the park, and it was like he stepped in the car again.
00:55:39.599 --> 00:55:42.719
Yeah, it was like and then I started like getting anxious.
00:55:42.800 --> 00:55:51.440
I'm like, I know that feeling that feeling like it was like the revelation of the Lord, like the like the fear of the Lord, but like I just okay.
00:55:51.519 --> 00:55:53.440
I'm like, okay, my bad, my bad, my bad.
00:55:54.559 --> 00:56:01.119
And I'm still crying, and like I I hold her hand, she held mine, I was like, I think God's telling us like it's time for us to slay our giant.
00:56:01.199 --> 00:56:02.719
And she's like, You've been hearing him too.
00:56:03.679 --> 00:56:07.199
It's like, yeah, I was just like, I know, like we know what we have to do.
00:56:07.360 --> 00:56:11.519
And I was like, in that moment, we separated in that car.
00:56:11.679 --> 00:56:12.320
In that car.
00:56:12.559 --> 00:56:17.199
In the spirit, y'all just made that decision to break that, to break that that that that covenant, that tie.
00:56:17.440 --> 00:56:20.880
In in that moment, like we didn't hold hands on, we didn't kiss.
00:56:21.599 --> 00:56:22.800
In that moment everything nothing happened in that.
00:56:22.960 --> 00:56:23.440
Everything changed.
00:56:23.519 --> 00:56:26.800
So now we have to go to a family event and act like nothing happened.
00:56:27.119 --> 00:56:32.400
Like we didn't have an encounter with God a few hours later, before.
00:56:32.800 --> 00:56:33.440
Dying inside.
00:56:33.679 --> 00:56:36.079
Dying, like that type of death.
00:56:36.400 --> 00:56:38.400
It was a funeral that day.
00:56:39.039 --> 00:56:40.159
Was unbearable.
00:56:40.320 --> 00:56:45.280
So that Monday we wept, we cried, screeched.
00:56:45.440 --> 00:56:45.920
Oh my gosh.
00:56:46.000 --> 00:56:48.960
And I'm again very vocal with my outwardly expression.
00:56:49.280 --> 00:56:49.760
She's dramatic.
00:56:49.920 --> 00:56:50.480
She's dramatic.
00:56:51.119 --> 00:56:51.760
She's not.
00:56:51.920 --> 00:56:57.280
So she's we're both just getting wrecked in a different time, but like I was just still fighting in it.
00:56:57.360 --> 00:57:06.639
Cause as much as I wanted to go back, I knew, like, as much as I loved her, I couldn't be the reason that's separate separating her from eternity.
00:57:06.800 --> 00:57:09.920
As much as we loved each other, we knew that we had to love God more.
00:57:10.719 --> 00:57:16.320
And so, yeah, on Tuesday, we told our family, Wednesday, we made plans to move.
00:57:16.400 --> 00:57:18.800
It was like every day, it was like plans.
00:57:19.039 --> 00:57:21.760
Like, it was like the Holy Spirit was just carrying us through it.
00:57:21.920 --> 00:57:24.639
Tears and all brokenness, but all everybody was confused.
00:57:24.719 --> 00:57:25.840
Our whole family was like, What?
00:57:26.079 --> 00:57:27.360
Yeah, like y'all soon good.
00:57:27.599 --> 00:57:29.039
My dad was like, Y'all was just giggling yesterday.
00:57:29.280 --> 00:57:30.239
Like, what are you talking about?
00:57:30.960 --> 00:57:33.679
Like, what and then automatically, what did the church say?
00:57:33.920 --> 00:57:34.880
Is this a church thing?
00:57:34.960 --> 00:57:35.599
Like, did they do this?
00:57:35.760 --> 00:57:36.639
Like, did they attack you?
00:57:36.719 --> 00:57:39.760
Did they and that's also what highlighted me that ain't really about God?
00:57:40.000 --> 00:57:49.519
Cause nobody, like, only like one person was just like, Oh, my mom, like, cried because she kind of was starting her walk a little bit so she could understand, but she was crying because she loved us, she knew how much it hurt.
00:57:49.679 --> 00:57:53.039
But also, as a mom, like, I'm so thankful that my daughter is saved.
00:57:53.280 --> 00:57:53.440
Yeah.
00:57:55.519 --> 00:57:56.239
But yeah.
00:57:56.559 --> 00:57:59.039
So God's goodness led y'all to repentance.
00:57:59.199 --> 00:58:00.960
Yes, falling in love with him.
00:58:01.519 --> 00:58:16.960
Yes, yes, and it was his glory, like you guys have experienced his glory in that car individually, and the weightiness of his glory, which is something like you can't explain in words, because it is weightiness and it is, it does bring the fear of the Lord, it brings the love of God.
00:58:17.920 --> 00:58:18.800
It's him, yeah.
00:58:19.119 --> 00:58:29.280
And when his weightiness, even a little bit, just steps into a car, like we can't, we can't like you can't everything in life just kind of like doesn't even like amount to that.
00:58:29.440 --> 00:58:32.239
Yeah, like to that exp to experience with him.
00:58:32.559 --> 00:58:36.320
And it's just like anything he at that point, you're like, okay, you are who you say you are.
00:58:36.559 --> 00:58:42.559
Yeah, I know this hurts, and I'm about to cry, and I'm gonna feel like I'm dying inside.
00:58:42.639 --> 00:58:49.679
But if this is what you want, because you're because you're obviously extremely real, I know you're with me, I know you got me, and you're gonna walk me through this.
00:58:50.000 --> 00:58:58.320
So y'all went y'all went through this, and like, man, that's just that that that scripture keeps coming up to my mind like his goodness leads you to repentance, right?
00:58:58.400 --> 00:59:00.000
And then that led to godly sorrow.
00:59:00.559 --> 00:59:04.719
So his goodness chased you down, and then that led to y'all having godly sorrow.
00:59:05.039 --> 00:59:07.440
And repentance is just change, change of direction.
00:59:07.599 --> 00:59:07.760
Yeah.
00:59:07.920 --> 00:59:11.199
So then it was that that moment, like, boom, change of direction.
00:59:11.280 --> 00:59:18.480
Now y'all are okay, we gotta split up, and like it's it's hard through the whole process, but y'all are you have the grace of God backing you.
00:59:18.639 --> 00:59:19.039
Yeah, yeah.
00:59:19.360 --> 00:59:32.320
And it was definitely that small group that helped me get to the level that she was at because I felt safe enough to allow myself to to get to know God and know his character, not what everybody else says, but like to truly get to know like his heart.
00:59:32.719 --> 00:59:39.440
And once I got to that and I felt safe enough with those women, because we split up right when I was in the middle of the small girl.
00:59:39.599 --> 00:59:50.400
The small girl wasn't even over yet, but the way that those women loved on me, and then there was like a really big conference at the end of it that like that you go over like everything, and that that's when I got rebaptized.
00:59:50.719 --> 00:59:52.800
Because I wow, I was like, you know what?
00:59:53.039 --> 00:59:54.320
I just felt so led to that word.
00:59:54.480 --> 00:59:55.440
I was like, now I know.
00:59:55.599 --> 00:59:59.760
Before I didn't know, before I was getting baptized because I trusted you and I loved you.
01:00:00.320 --> 01:00:02.320
Now I'm getting baptized because I love him.
01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:04.000
This is so good.
01:00:04.639 --> 01:00:05.519
This is so good.
01:00:06.000 --> 01:00:08.880
So, like, what what church is that, by the way, if you don't mind me asking?
01:00:09.039 --> 01:00:10.239
Um, that we go to now, Journey.
01:00:10.480 --> 01:00:12.559
Journey, I was thinking the whole time I'm thinking of Journey Journey Church.
01:00:12.960 --> 01:00:13.920
Shout out to Journey, Journey Church.
01:00:14.079 --> 01:00:15.199
I think it's Pastor JJ, right?
01:00:15.920 --> 01:00:18.239
Yeah, shout out to Pastor JJ, that's awesome, man.
01:00:18.320 --> 01:00:18.719
Like, for real.
01:00:18.880 --> 01:00:23.280
Like, I support many, like, I love supporting churches that move with the Holy Spirit.
01:00:23.360 --> 01:00:23.519
Yeah.
01:00:23.760 --> 01:00:24.719
Because that's that's awesome.
01:00:24.880 --> 01:00:28.960
The small group, they loved on you, they spoke the truth though, at the right the right timing.
01:00:29.199 --> 01:00:33.280
Yes, which led to your heart being open to receive it.
01:00:33.440 --> 01:00:37.360
Yeah, like the seed can't be planted on good soil if the heart's not open.
01:00:37.679 --> 01:00:45.519
So they like through love, the heart opened, boom, you receive it, seed starts being watered, boom, encounter, encounter, encounter.
01:00:45.679 --> 01:00:46.800
Now you guys are separating.
01:00:46.880 --> 01:00:50.239
Now you want to get rebaptized because you understand, okay, I get it now.
01:00:50.400 --> 01:00:54.800
Like I actually am repenting, like I've changed,
I'm walking this walkout, I'm all in.
01:00:55.199 --> 01:00:56.000
Did you get rebaptized?
01:00:56.239 --> 01:00:56.559
Yes, I did.
01:00:56.800 --> 01:00:57.840
Come on, you got rebaptized.
01:00:58.079 --> 01:01:00.719
I ended up actually taking that same group that she did.
01:01:00.800 --> 01:01:03.039
I did a freedom course the next semester.
01:01:03.519 --> 01:01:05.920
So she went through it during the separation.
01:01:06.079 --> 01:01:10.880
Now I'm in it during the actual divorce process, like literally getting divorced.
01:01:11.199 --> 01:01:14.719
Um, so by the end of conference, I got baptized at conference as well.
01:01:14.880 --> 01:01:21.039
And um I did my little speech, I gave my wedding vows to God, like it was my renewal.
01:01:21.440 --> 01:01:21.760
Wow.
01:01:22.159 --> 01:01:23.039
So yeah, that baptism.
01:01:23.679 --> 01:01:26.400
You gave your wedding vows to God, like you got married to him.
01:01:26.639 --> 01:01:26.880
Yeah.
01:01:27.760 --> 01:01:29.119
Wow, that's so powerful.
01:01:29.360 --> 01:01:34.239
And then the pastor that um baptized her was the one that we were doing separation counselor counseling with.
01:01:34.559 --> 01:01:36.639
So it was like, oh, it was such a surreal moment.
01:01:36.719 --> 01:01:37.440
God is so good.
01:01:37.519 --> 01:01:37.840
Yeah.
01:01:38.320 --> 01:01:42.559
Wow, so so do y'all believe that God can speak to us before we get saved?
01:01:43.840 --> 01:01:44.960
I yeah, me too.
01:01:45.360 --> 01:01:46.000
He's powerful, yeah.
01:01:46.159 --> 01:01:47.280
Yeah, he could do anything he wants, right?
01:01:48.000 --> 01:01:54.880
So do you so like that that moment y'all had the encounter, like, do you feel like that's when you fully were like, I'm all like I that's when y'all got saved?
01:01:55.039 --> 01:01:56.559
Yeah, yeah, that's yeah, for sure.
01:01:57.199 --> 01:02:04.320
Even in the middle of my um getting my encounter, my leader at the time had called me in the middle of the day, and I'm telling her I'm having a panic attack.
01:02:04.400 --> 01:02:07.440
And she was like, or it seems like maybe conviction.
01:02:08.000 --> 01:02:12.480
It's just like just sit and just allow like the Holy Spirit to like speak to you and just listen.
01:02:12.559 --> 01:02:14.400
Don't stop yelling, just listen.
01:02:14.639 --> 01:02:19.199
And then and then when I hung up and it was just like that's when I heard, like, just come to me.
01:02:19.360 --> 01:02:21.360
But I'm over here thinking I'm having a panic attack.
01:02:21.440 --> 01:02:23.119
Maybe I ate something bad at lunch.
01:02:23.280 --> 01:02:24.320
I don't know what this is.
01:02:24.480 --> 01:02:28.000
It was a whole and now I know like that dry heaving was deliverance.
01:02:28.079 --> 01:02:54.079
Yes, I didn't know what that was before, but I'm like, it just felt like I had to throw up, and it felt like everything was coming out of me at that time, and that was like the last thing that like God truly wanted to work because throughout the week he was working on my pride, he was working on my unbelief and my anger, my unforgiveness, all those the things because I think people just want to focus on the homosexuality, yeah, but you don't want to get to the root, like we gotta get to the root of it, and that's that's what he did.
01:02:54.320 --> 01:02:56.800
Yeah, we don't focus on the fruit, we focus on the root.
01:02:57.039 --> 01:02:59.840
Yes, the sin is the fruit of the tree, but what's the root?
01:02:59.920 --> 01:03:05.119
Because we get if you just identify fruit and it's not it's not gonna get to the tree, we gotta cut the tree down.
01:03:05.679 --> 01:03:06.559
So, man, that's crazy.
01:03:06.639 --> 01:03:12.079
Like, God is powerful, all powerful, and started getting to the roots and just and preparing for that deliverance.
01:03:12.320 --> 01:03:16.400
So they all had to go in Jesus' name, and you got you got freedom, and no pastor laid hands on you.
01:03:16.480 --> 01:03:17.840
It was an encounter in that kitchen.
01:03:18.320 --> 01:03:33.679
You yelling at God, but once you gave him that, like, hey, like I think you said you said if you're real, just show up now, type of sh if you're real, show yourself, and boom, even it's like you know, like something the Bible was like before the person was done speaking, he was like waiting for me to say that.
01:03:34.079 --> 01:03:34.960
Give me access, you can't.
01:03:36.079 --> 01:03:36.639
I'm there.
01:03:36.880 --> 01:03:38.320
Oh my god, I will never forget.
01:03:38.400 --> 01:03:39.599
And I'm still in the same salon, too.
01:03:39.679 --> 01:03:44.800
So every time I go into my salon, I just feel with like so much gratitude that I'm like, this is where I encountered you.
01:03:44.880 --> 01:03:48.400
Like, this is and then people come into my salon and be like, it just feels so different in here.
01:03:48.719 --> 01:03:48.880
Wow.
01:03:49.039 --> 01:03:51.039
And I'm like, Yeah, the Holy Spirit lives here.
01:03:51.199 --> 01:03:52.880
Like, this is like seeping.
01:03:53.199 --> 01:03:55.920
This is his place, it's yeah, it's saturated.
01:03:56.159 --> 01:03:56.880
It's like an ultimate.
01:03:57.199 --> 01:03:59.199
Yeah, um, it's where you met God.
01:03:59.360 --> 01:04:00.639
Yes, it's important, yeah.
01:04:00.880 --> 01:04:01.199
Wow.
01:04:02.159 --> 01:04:03.599
This is amazing.
01:04:03.760 --> 01:04:05.119
Yeah, like I feel the presence of God.
01:04:05.440 --> 01:04:05.920
I do too.
01:04:06.800 --> 01:04:20.719
Like I feel a moving, like this is this is so powerful because I feel like there's gonna be a lot of people watching this podcast who are in homosexual relationships, marriages, or or have people that they know that are in it, and it's like this is a like a like a guide.
01:04:20.800 --> 01:04:22.960
Like it's this is like a directional guide.
01:04:23.119 --> 01:04:24.639
Yeah, uh like a pattern.
01:04:24.800 --> 01:04:26.880
I was just talking to my wife
about that earlier this morning.
01:04:26.960 --> 01:04:28.639
It's a pattern on how God does things.
01:04:29.119 --> 01:04:34.719
He moves in patterns, like he wants us in the scriptures to see patterns or see how he's moving, and this is a pattern.
01:04:34.880 --> 01:04:40.880
God's goodness leads to repentance, godly sorrow leads to repentance and all that stuff, and and it's not like him.
01:04:41.440 --> 01:04:45.519
I I what stuck out to me the most is the word released in in the right season.
01:04:46.000 --> 01:04:52.079
Because if you would have released that too early, it would have wound it would have hurt her a lot, and it probably would have she probably wouldn't be saved right now.
01:04:52.880 --> 01:04:53.599
I believe that too.
01:04:53.760 --> 01:04:56.000
Yeah, or God would have had to do a whole bunch of other things.
01:04:56.079 --> 01:05:00.800
It could have taken years and to get so now you guys are in ministry together.
01:05:01.039 --> 01:05:08.000
Yes, yes, which is shocking because we didn't think like after the separation, we I'm like that's what hurt the most because I'm like, I'm never gonna see her again.
01:05:08.400 --> 01:05:09.280
Like, this is it.
01:05:09.519 --> 01:05:14.320
But God definitely took us to our separate individual like isolation season.
01:05:14.719 --> 01:05:18.400
Like we fasted from each other, yeah, to to work on each other.
01:05:18.480 --> 01:05:22.719
And I remember getting prayed for for one of the pastors, and she was just crying with me.
01:05:22.960 --> 01:05:28.800
I just felt so broken, and she was like, As much as you loved your marriage, imagine what God's gonna redeem with your friendship, what it's gonna be too.
01:05:28.880 --> 01:05:31.199
And I was just like, that wasn't even a thought in my head.
01:05:31.360 --> 01:05:32.559
So then I started praying again.
01:05:32.639 --> 01:05:33.760
I was like, Is that your will?
01:05:33.840 --> 01:05:35.199
Like, is that even possible?
01:05:35.360 --> 01:05:36.000
I don't know.
01:05:36.400 --> 01:05:43.599
Um, but then after some time passed, and I remember seeing her for the first time, I didn't see her as like my my wife, my ex wife.
01:05:43.760 --> 01:05:45.119
It wasn't temptation, it was nothing.
01:05:45.280 --> 01:05:53.119
It was just I was filled with such gratitude that God used her to get to me, that He loved me that much to send her, and I was just so thankful.
01:05:53.199 --> 01:05:54.880
I probably said like thank you like a million times.
01:05:54.960 --> 01:05:57.280
Like I was just so grateful.
01:05:57.679 --> 01:05:59.760
And it was like I was like, okay, I feel like God.
01:06:00.159 --> 01:06:03.039
resetted us to what it was supposed to be at the beginning.
01:06:03.840 --> 01:06:07.280
Like we yeah, like we were always meant to be in each other's lives and be best friends.
01:06:07.360 --> 01:06:10.480
The enemy just took it and we ran with something that it shouldn't have been.
01:06:10.639 --> 01:06:12.400
Shh that's so good.
01:06:12.719 --> 01:06:16.159
I feel like y'all do probably um have y'all gotten persecution about this?
01:06:16.400 --> 01:06:18.800
Oh daily.
01:06:19.760 --> 01:06:20.320
Like a lot of hate.
01:06:20.400 --> 01:06:22.239
Like people are like ah like like what are y'all doing?
01:06:22.320 --> 01:06:25.199
Like this isn't like you probably get it from the LGBTQ plus community.
01:06:25.440 --> 01:06:25.920
From both sides.
01:06:26.559 --> 01:06:27.119
And Christians.
01:06:27.599 --> 01:06:31.360
You got the LGBTQ plus community like ah this is not real like you can't do this.
01:06:31.440 --> 01:06:36.239
Like you you can't just on whatever and you got the Christians like oh you shouldn't be doing podcasts together.
01:06:36.320 --> 01:06:38.239
You need to fully just cut each other off.
01:06:38.960 --> 01:06:40.800
But y'all are following the voice of the Lord.
01:06:40.960 --> 01:06:41.280
Yes.
01:06:41.440 --> 01:06:43.119
Y'all are following his his will.
01:06:43.760 --> 01:06:45.760
And the Bible says you'll know a tree by its fruit.
01:06:45.920 --> 01:06:46.079
Yeah.
01:06:46.480 --> 01:06:48.400
So like y'all are bearing good fruit too.
01:06:49.199 --> 01:07:01.199
Because I think for me like if I was in the LGBTQ plus community not saved and I was and I seen what God can do and how he can redeem and then also use the testimony to destroy the works of Satan it's so like unorthodox.
01:07:01.280 --> 01:07:12.800
It's so like what like they were married and now they're like pretty much preaching about what they did and how they're not married I would I would be in awe like I would watch the whole podcast.
01:07:12.960 --> 01:07:21.760
If I if if a podcast was sent to me like that like and that's what that's what God does because it's so crazy it just like makes you want to watch it and then it displays the power of God.
01:07:22.239 --> 01:07:23.039
So I support y'all.
01:07:23.199 --> 01:07:40.000
Thank you I support y'all much like love and stuff for people that write us saying like weddings have been canceled like people giving their life to Christ at the end of our podcast and the messages are flooding like it's oh my god like it because I'm like even if we did it just for one person because this was an act of obedience we did not want to do this.
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Like talk about that I want people to hear that.
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So you y'all y'all didn't y'all it wasn't like you were like okay we got divorced now we're just gonna start a podcast like he no we went to a conference in Tulsa and um he was like asking everybody in the line like what are they trying to get out of the conference he gets to us random questions.
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Yeah and uh sh she was walking off she's like she was done interviewing but then she stops in the middle of her tracks turns back around and she's like you have a testimony that you need to share like tell me what's going on
and that's when we're like oh okay because we at that point we didn't say to anybody.
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Wow yeah um so then all throughout the conference it was just like little god winks like throughout the sermons stuff like that like him like hey yeah go ahead and share your story like um the pastor was on stage talking about how you literally have anointed on your head and I was wearing that I was wearing the same hat and I was just like okay talking about how you need to share your story and this this and that and then they actually like contacted us and wanted to film our story.
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Wow um but then uh like our flights and timing it just didn't work out yeah and that's when we were hearing God is like no because you're gonna share it on your podcast.
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That's when God was telling us and was like okay but I don't want to do that.
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Yeah we don't got anything we don't got mice we don't got money for any other stuff and he decided all you have is all you need what's in your hand yeah our phone yeah we just popped up our phone it's like okay let's do it we ain't record rehearse nothing like if you watch a podcast it's genuinely us.
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It's like we were just in our living room talking we're just talking about like where we was before Christ the witchcraft the church hurt just leaving go into deep details yeah into how it comes yeah and then it also goes completely against my personality because I I I'm watching my words I'm overcoming social anxiety.
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Wow so like I really didn't want to do this.
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It's like Lord you're trying to put me in front of all these people and I hide from people.
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You don't even want to do it yeah I had uh check my pride too because I'm like I don't want people in my business like this and then once it came I have a really big family so a lot of people found out about the divorce and stuff when they saw the podcast launch we did one tiny teaser that turned into millions and everybody's like you guys are divorced like because of following Christ and yeah it anybody come from your family like to repent like or say I'm sorry or anything like that to anybody or anybody in general did it and has anybody like said I'm sorry and forgive me or I didn't handle that right?
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Not on my side.
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No um the one person who sent the Bible birth at the wedding she was like I couldn't explain it where where it was but I honestly I forgave her like I let her know like I forgive you and I understand where where it was coming from because it did hurt me and I think I was like still harboring that but then now she was just like well I'm sorry too and that was that was the only person it comes from fear.
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Yeah they don't know what to do like they like people
just like they don't have that maturity level and they like just like I don't know what to do but Bibleverse.
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Yeah yeah well we didn't get an apology from anyone but what has happened is we do see some of our family members like coming to Christ now that that's all I could ask for that's it yeah like the one that really excites me is my my brother like he even mentioned he said he's been watching me and it was the way that we were living watching us that got him to Christ wow how old is your brother oh he's older than me so he's 42.
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Wow so he got baptized a few months ago let's go so now y'all family is being restored like you're seeing like the that like a ripple effect exactly like um last weekend I went to visit him and he now he has a home church that's like new so he's going to church regularly so I went with him to his church and that was the first time we were standing there in worship and our hands are raised and I wanted I wanted the ball but I was like don't let don't make it weird don't make it weird.
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But in that moment I was realizing this is the first time in life I'm worshiping praising God with my brother like anybody in my family.
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And my nieces are coming out of their classes telling me Bible stories I was like Lord you're showing me the change in my family the my bloodline like wow that moment was surreal.
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I feel the presence of God that is you y'all are forerunners forerunners in your bloodlines this is deep breaking curses breaking patterns slaying Goliaths generational generational ones that have been tormenting the bloodline probably for a long or just oh yeah same thing happened to me I was the first one and then now everyone's safe so it's like God is doing that in this last hour.
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He's bringing revival yeah yes and like just just the test them y'all are evangelists like y'all y'all like a like prophetic all that but like y'all y'all are called to win souls it's a call this whole y'all podcast is a call of evangelism it's outreach it's it's a rescue mission because he's returning soon so this is this is extreme extremely encouraging for myself and it it just taught me a lot y'all don't even know this but I just learned so much from this podcast like oh yeah and how to like I've been learning a lot but just even more of like how to trust in the Holy Spirit to work on people even a greater measure of it um of trusting because um he is all powerful and like handling each situation differently just being led by the spirit yeah being led by the spirit because not everybody's ready for the same type of um word that's true yeah that's very true so it blessed me and what's y'all podcast so nevertheless nevertheless podcast y'all need to go check that out for real and um yeah like what would you say to the the person watching right now who's freaking out maybe angry maybe doesn't know what to do maybe you know watch this whole podcast and they're like man I don't know like I'm not doing this I'm not gonna I'm like I'm gay like I'm gay and I'm not changing like what would you what would you tell that person?
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Well one just trust him like he's not asking you to change today it's the one thing that we had to learn that was so helpful for us was that he's not calling you to be straight a lot of people are like oh so where's your husband this is like he's calling you to himself he's calling you to be holy you need to live a holy life he's calling you to himself so don't worry about whether or not you can stop this lifestyle don't focus on him develop an intimate relationship with God like that's what this is because you can't do it yourself.
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You need God to do the transformation in in you so you're right when you're saying nah I'm gay I I can't do this you can't without him so I I really think you should develop that relationship.
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That was so good something that I also want to add every platform that I go on I I make sure I add this in us being best friends is not for everybody.
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There's a lot of you that if you are called out of your same sex relationship you might have to cut all ties.
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I I don't think this is for everyone I think there's a grace on us and what God is doing with our story.
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Yeah it's it's not wise flee from temptation yeah yeah that that's good because like I feel like that's needed like that you said grace grace comes from the Holy Spirit.
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Yeah so he's ordained y'all to do this but not everybody's ordained to do the same thing.
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Not everybody's ordained to have a podcast channel not everybody is ordained to be a pastor not everybody's ordained to go into witchcraft stores and expose witchcraft right like it's like we just gotta know our lane and like it takes intimacy seeking the Lord he reveals it and it's gonna be different.
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All our callings and destinies are unique.
01:15:31.520 --> 01:15:35.279
Yeah that's so good that you say that I didn't know you say that on every platform that's good.
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Because I need people to know don't don't follow us in that way where you're like oh well we can just hang out with this person.
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Like you're gonna make it harder on your you can try to um get them to Christ.
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That's not your job.
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Yes your job is to work on you so let God be God but focus on what you need to focus on.
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But we hear that a lot like oh but I gotta stay because I'm gonna help them you know that's good.
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So like oh wow so like people think well you
know Nina brought you to Christ so I'm gonna bring my significant other to Christ okay so what do you what do you what do you think like you would tell them like no don't like no because at the end of the day like Nina loved on me but it was she gave me the space to like discover God.
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She wasn't she never pushed God on me.
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And I think like her waiting in her God timing like listening to the Holy Spirit being led by the Holy Spirit helped me be led to him.
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That's it being led by the Holy Spirit because it could look similar yeah or it could look completely different where God is saying cut that person off completely and walk away yeah so it's spirit led.
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Yes similar thing happened with me and my wife I get saved I didn't I didn't I slept in a separate room but I she eventually after a few weeks got the Holy Spirit encountered her but like it could have been God saying leave complete like right now.
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Yeah but it it it's it was a process that God took us through but it was being spirit led.
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Yes.
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So we actually have to know God's voice we need to pray and we need to we need to trust and have faith that God is leading us and he's speaking to us and he's guiding us.
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So it's like every situation is different.
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That's what y'all are saying.
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Exactly like don't be black and white with it like okay they did this I'm following this pattern it must be this no like it could be but then it could not be that's such a mystery God knows you like yeah he knows all your quirks everything about you so he knows what's gonna work for you so it might not play out the same for you.
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He's factoring all that come on which is so good.
01:17:33.279 --> 01:17:35.359
Candy what do you think like what you think?
01:17:35.600 --> 01:17:41.680
Oh um I think another thing is like obedience at the end of the day and like surrendering and allowing God to to do it.
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So go to him with your unbeliefs and everything like that and just tell him like I want to follow you this is hard.
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Like I had to go to God be like I love to follow you but I really miss this and I love this more than I love you at this moment and just allowing him to work on my heart so that I could fall in love with him.
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And it it's been a journey and it's not gonna be hard like how I said before I was very emotional.
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So I'm always led with my emotions.
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So it was hard for me to hear the word of God because my emotions was leading me.
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I wasn't being led by the spirit I was being led by my feelings and the thing about feelings is they're really bad leaders they're gonna lead me right the hill like I had to I had to um allow myself to bring that to God and be reminded of like what your word says who you said I am and putting my identity back where it should have been it shouldn't have been in my sexuality it needed to be in him that's so good.
01:18:32.239 --> 01:18:37.439
I mean I was blessed for real like I genuinely mean this like yeah I was actually blessed.
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Learned a lot um received a lot and I believe a lot of people will be blessed even people that are not in the LGBTQ plus community but any community like this is a Jesus pattern this is what he does.
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He'll lead us like he'll he'll leave the 99 for the one and he'll guide that that sheep or that lamb that's misdirected right back to the flock.
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He'll do it he'll chase you down and he's very very reckless with his love.
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He will make sure that it's known hey I'm very very real and it's it's man he's alive he's king there's no other way we need Jesus it's not about any community other than the body of Christ it's it's it's find a local community like find a good church that believes in Jesus you it's essential it's necessary you need that we need family in Christ and you know journey church great church love that church y'all obviously still there yeah oh yeah we serve yeah serve amen great church journey church shout out to journey man y'all pull up the journey look it up and um yeah man uh this was awesome thank you no thank you for real I purposely didn't watch any testimony video nothing but because I wanted it to be like fresh and real and organic so yeah this is now I'm gonna start binge watching other stuff and um but yeah man um again shout out to Rebecca um and yes yeah do y'all want to pray prayer south or just if you if if you have any words you want to release anything like whatever y'all feel just to close out all right okay Heavenly Father Lord God we thank you we thank you for your presence we thank you for your love we thank you for who you are Lord God we thank you for bringing us together Lord we thank you for the lives that's gonna be changed Lord God the chains are going to be broken Lord God the the hearts is going to be led to you Lord we pray that more people discover who you are in your character Lord God that more hearts will be willing to receive your goodness Lord Jesus we thank you that you are a God that never changes we thank you that you're a God that goes above our expectations exceedingly abundantly more than we can think and imagine we thank you for the way that you love on us may you be Jehovah Jira Lord God that you provide not only um spiritually but emotionally Lord God that you heal the parts of someone that is feeling lonely Lord that's feeling heartbroken that's dealing with church hurt Lord Jesus Lord I pray that you love on them you show them your true love Lord remove any distractions remove anything that is trying to deceive them Lord God we pray protection over them Lord that in no weapons for may they prosper Lord God and we just ask you to to lead them to your salvation to lead them to the true life because you are the truth Lord may you continue to transform us Lord God we thank you for this podcast we thank you God again for who you are in Jesus' mighty name I pray amen amen awesome podcast guys or whatever blessed you comment down below um go subscribe to their stuff nevertheless on everything on everything on everything y'all go check them out man that's awesome and um yeah again whatever blessed you comment it down below and until next time salute in Jesus' mighty name we need your help we have seen billions yes millions of views over the last few years advancing the kingdom of God preaching the gospel on the digital spaces we have a five onec three certified nonprofit in the state of Florida remnant revival media inc and we need partnership with this nonprofit you partnering with us financially allows us to advance the gospel upgrade productions equipment editors staff all types of fired up evangelists with digital spaces to advance the gospel and we truly believe that God is awakening his people using the internet as a place to bring and advance the gospel and we need partners if you want to partner with us monthly it would mean so much if you want to partner us with us maybe a one time offering still would mean a lot and if you can't partner financially and you want to pray for us are still extremely important so we love you guys.
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Thank you for all those who are supporting the ministry you can click the link in the description of every video to give you guys a tough list.