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Lisa Wilson: I have a confession. Sometimes I lie, But I you guys, I think we all lie. Whether it's to ourselves or to other people, we lie. Now, before you come for me in the comments, which I know you might, I want you to ask yourself, have you ever told somebody that you were fine when you were not fine? Have you ever changed the story just enough to make you look a little bit better when you were retelling it later? If so, that makes you technically a liar. So welcome to the club. It's a lot of fun over here because the truth is I do lie, but I don't really look at it like lying. I look at it like I'm selling a situation. Sometimes I'm lobbying for a specific outcome. I don't steal and I don't cheat So I don't look at myself like I'm a dishonest person. I just think sometimes the truth occasionally needs a marketing department, But that brings us to our question this week. is it okay to lie? I mean, I have my answer, but I think we definitely need to talk about it. So let's get into it. Lisa, do you think there's a difference between telling a lie and being a dishonest person? Okay, good. Phew.
Lisa Smith: Absolutely. Absolutely. Absolutely. I think people kind of lie all the time. I think but OK, let me let me maybe like can like clarify what I'm talking about. I think people like say little lies to maybe like not hurt somebody's feelings or something like that, like a little white lie or something. But. I think there's definitely a difference of having a behavior of lying all the time, like always exaggerating something or always making a story bigger or like something that wasn't even true. Like,
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: what do you think?
Lisa Wilson: So I mean, I I think that there is a huge difference, mainly
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: because I do lie sometimes, but like the way that
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: I lie is different, right? Like so I noticed that I have this thing where I if I think I'm gonna get in trouble,
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: or if I think it's gonna have a super ultra negative outcome, I will tell a little white lie. Have you ever like, can you think of a time where you told a lie to get out of a negative consequence?
Lisa Smith: I mean, I think I just did this the other day. I had an appointment. There's some construction going on. OK, so there is some traffic and
Lisa Wilson: Mm-hmm. Okay.
Lisa Smith: I but I also left my house later than normal, but I blamed it on traffic. That is a lie to get out of like. Putting some responsibility all on me, I was like, the traffic was bad. Was the traffic bad? Yeah, but that really wasn't the only reason why I was late. It was me.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: So
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: I find myself like sometimes doing that so I get out of like upsetting someone or like having them be mad at me or something like that. So.
Lisa Wilson: No, a hundred percent. Now the difference is you didn't tell someone that you saved a child's life from a burning car and that's why you relate.
Lisa Smith: Correct. Correct. I didn't make up some big giant story of why I was laid. I just didn't tell the whole truth. And so I think, think, like not telling every fact. can also
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: be kind of lying, like withholding information, I think, can also be considered a lie. Like,
Lisa Wilson: Yes.
Lisa Smith: I went into this, like, thinking about our discussion today, going, I never lie. I never lie. I'm honest. I never lie. And that is an absolute false statement. After I
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: really thought about all the different times that maybe... I wasn't fully honest.
Lisa Wilson: So I I don't lie I lobby.
Lisa Smith: Okay. If that makes you feel better about it.
Lisa Wilson: Repackage, you know, is what I think.
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: I think I'm definitely Have a tendency to be more of a storyteller than I need to be, but not to the level that I think I'm rescuing a child from a burning car or anything like that.
Lisa Smith: Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: but I want to find out like how good are we at it? Like, cause I think
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: that we might think we're good, but we're not really that good. So we're going to, and I'm so excited about this. So we are gonna play two truths and a lie. So I am gonna go first.
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: I'm gonna tell you two truths and one lie. You need to guess which is which. Are you ready? My parents checked our cars for bombs every morning before school.
Lisa Smith: All right.
Lisa Wilson: My dad was Elvis's and Liberace's private bartender. My
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: mom was an accountant for the mob.
Lisa Smith: two and three are true, one is a lie.
Lisa Wilson: That is so I will I've lost the number of my cards, so I'm just gonna tell you what they were. So my
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: my parents checked our cars for bombs. That is a true story. They would come out and my dad would get on the little roller thingy and would go under our cars and with mirror and like look for bombs. Yep.
Lisa Smith: Okay, okay, so I got it wrong.
Lisa Wilson: my dad was Elvis and Liberace's private bartender. When they would have parties
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: at their houses or at the hotel, they were he was the guy they called.
Lisa Smith: Yep, I got that one true. But I thought your
Lisa Wilson: My mom, my mom.
Lisa Smith: mom was an accountant for the mob, but it was actually a religious mob.
Lisa Wilson: And she was not an accountant. She was a secretary. So yeah,
Lisa Smith: Ohhhh, ohhhh-
Lisa Wilson: yeah. So my mom worked in Las Vegas for a tax consultant that had all sorts of nefarious relationships. And one of them went really, really bad, which is why they checked our cars for bombs every morning. but
Lisa Smith: okay.
Lisa Wilson: my husband was like, There's no way people will believe that that's true, but it really is true. It really did happen. But she she was not
Lisa Smith:
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Okay, yeah.
Lisa Wilson: a tax consultant, she was not an accountant.
Lisa Smith: Okay, well, all right, so I
Lisa Wilson: All right. Okay, go.
Lisa Smith: got that one wrong. So I had a hard time because you know so much about me So
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: I kept these pretty like basic. Okay
Lisa Wilson: Okay, okay.
Lisa Smith: All right. So the first one is my favorite scent is patchouli Second one is I'm obsessed with organizing Number three is I love orchids
Lisa Wilson: You are not obsessed with patulli. Yeah.
Lisa Smith: You were right! How did you know that?
Lisa Wilson: Because we were joking about the smell the other day and you're like, I hate that smell.
Lisa Smith: shoot! shoot, see? Like... How did I do? Okay, well...
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Okay, but I'm gonna I'm gonna be fair. Like I had to get help. Doug had to help me. Cause I was Well plus we know
Lisa Smith: but I
Lisa Wilson: we've been friends for thirty years, Lisa. Like
Lisa Smith: I know, I know. I mean, all right, there you go, I failed. You won.
Lisa Wilson: Yep. That no, you didn't fell? No. Listen. We're winners all the time, Lisa. I just
Lisa Smith: I'm actually just an open book. Like I think that's what it really is, is yeah, I'm just an open book.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah, but you're an open book, I like. So when it when we started talking about like lying and whether or not it was okay, I think we both came from this position. Like I was like, yeah, I lie all the time. But I honestly really started thinking about it. And I really don't lie all the time. I I
Lisa Smith: Yeah, I don't think you do.
Lisa Wilson: will try to like not hurt people's feelings, but I'm gonna share a story with you guys because this just proves like sometimes I can be very like blunt. So I bought a tank top at a store and I
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: On my way out, because I don't, you know, I don't always look at the price tags, like especially if I'm at like a regular mall store. You know what I mean? Like I'm not
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: at a fancy store. And I'm walking out, I'm like $64 for a silk tank top.
Lisa Smith: Yeah?
Lisa Wilson: No. So I was too embarrassed though to return it, like to turn around and return it. So I waited that till the next day. The weird things we do with ourselves.
Lisa Smith: Okay. And then you went back to the store? Jeez. Okay.
Lisa Wilson: So then I went back to the store, but I had Doug with me. And I was like up at the counter and he was standing next to me. And they're like, is anything wrong with the tank top? And I'm like, no, I just thought sixty-four dollars was nuts for that tank top. And
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: Doug, who's trying to be nice, is like, Well, if you want the tank top, Lisa, keep the tank top. And I'm like, no.
Lisa Smith: You're like, no, that's not helping. I want to return the tank top.
Lisa Wilson: I was like, I was like, Doug, I could get this on Amazon for 20 bucks. No. And
Lisa Smith: Yeah, yeah.
Lisa Wilson: I looked at the girl who was like dead ass in the face. And I'm like, but it's a nice sync job. I mean so I did lie, right? But I didn't like lie, lie. I just realized I had maybe hurt her feelings or had been very rude. because I was just being myself and being direct, and some not everybody's ready
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: for that. You know what I mean?
Lisa Smith: I mean, I think we fall into that trap a lot too, because that was one thing that I thought about. How many times have I said, I love your shirt when I don't? I don't love it. I wouldn't buy
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: it for myself. It might look good on you. It might be a good color or something, but I didn't
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: say that. I said, I love your shirt so much. Where'd you get it? But I I used to do that a lot, I think, in retail, not to be calling myself out at this point, but... I, you know, it's like trying to have that connection with a customer coming in like, my gosh, I love
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: your shoes. I don't, I don't love your shoes, but, but hopefully it made you think like break down a barrier, you know, all those terrible
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Well
Lisa Smith: things you learn in sales, terrible.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. I but listen, those some of those things have have gotten me into the house that I'm in right now and the wardrobe I have right now. So I'll I'll take it every step
Lisa Smith: That is true. That's true.
Lisa Wilson: that I can. But yeah, no, every baby was not a cute baby. I
Lisa Smith: That's true.
Lisa Wilson: So
Lisa Smith: That's another one. People feel obligated to say your baby is so adorable.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: But maybe some maybe it's not. But that's OK.
Lisa Wilson: Maybe it's not, you know, and that's but so I I admire people, I know people and I've read about
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: celebrities that never lie. They always say exactly the truth. I don't have the thick skin to like, yes, I can insult a sales lady to her face about a about a tank
Lisa Smith: You
Lisa Wilson: top, but I don't have it in me to like make someone feel bad. You know?
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: So in looking at the episode, I really wanted to find out why women lie and versus why
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: men lie. So women lie about what they've done and men
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: lie about where they've been. Isn't that interesting?
Lisa Smith: Yeah, that's that is yeah, I guess I never thought about that. I mean, what do you think is different? I mean, what do you think are things that women lie about? Like what they've done?
Lisa Wilson: So it I think it's to get out of consequences. So they lie about their how much money they've spent on clothing or treatments. Yep. They hide things in their car and bring it in later when nobody's paying I used
Lisa Smith: yeah, I used to do that all the time. That's true. I used to do that all the time.
Lisa Wilson: to do that too. I don't
anymore, but I used to do that too. They
Lisa Smith: No, I don't anymore. Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: they lie to their doctor about their behavior. So like they say they haven't had anything to drink when they have, or they say they don't smoke when they do.
Lisa Smith: Mm.
Lisa Wilson: Personally, treat my doctor like a priest. Like my doctor knows things about me they don't wanna know because I don't wanna tell me.
Lisa Smith: I mean, it doesn't help you if you lie about that to your doctor. It's
Lisa Wilson: Right.
Lisa Smith: not going to help. But I can see I can see where people might not want to maybe come clean on certain things. Judgment, maybe not judgment. Or I don't know. I don't know. Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. They lie. I think it's about judgment and about like getting in trouble. Like it's this whole like you don't want to get in trouble. So you lie about the money, you lie about, you know, your health. The other thing that they did was they lie about get they lie to get out of plans.
Lisa Smith: Mm.
Lisa Wilson: Like and you and I don't really do that. We're like, hey, nobody's inviting us anywhere.
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm. mean, last invitation I got was a long time ago, so I don't have that as a problem anymore. However,
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: but I also wouldn't I'd never really lied to get out of something. I would just decline. I
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: would say I'm so sorry. I can't make it like
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. men lie about where they've been because they don't want anybody to know what they're up to. Maybe they're more private. I don't know.
Lisa Smith: Hmm. I mean, maybe.
Lisa Wilson: not mine's on a tracker, so I know exactly where he is all the time. I'm like let's look
Lisa Smith: Poor Doug.
Lisa Wilson: up the the old Doug GPS. I know exactly where he is. the thing that Drives me crazy and I don't do this, but the
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: I'm fine lie.
Lisa Smith: do all the time.
Lisa Wilson: So why?
Lisa Smith: Okay, I think I say it just because I don't wanna just be the person that's always had a bad day or this happened or whatever. So I'm like, no, I'm fine. Everything's great. Like if someone's like, how are you doing? Great. I'm doing great. That is my normal response. It is a it's a quick response and it gets people off my back. Nobody ever comes back and says, are you really or tell me about it? Right. Like nobody nobody asks a secondary question. So it always just gets people off my back and I don't have to talk about sometimes what's really going on. I'm just like, I'm great, everything's great.
Lisa Wilson: I've I've tried to come up with clever things to say when I'm in a bad place. So I'll be like, the entropy persists, but so do I. Like, you know,
Lisa Smith: Mmmh.
Lisa Wilson: I just I try to think 'cause if I'm not happy, I don't want to tell people I'm happy. And then
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: if I'm like sometimes I'm just really in my feelings because I'm in menopause and
I don't want to talk about it. Like, you know? Like and I think that that's where we ha
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm. Yeah. Now I get it.
Lisa Wilson: Those fine lines start kind of coming up, right? Of like,
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: if you're not f if you don't tell anybody how you really feel, nobody's really gonna help you. But to your point, Lisa, they're not asking if nobody's offering to help you about how you feel, right?
Lisa Smith: No, and nobody's also like, so I wonder if that's just like an empty question too, because like,
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: I mean, if you know me, pretty much, I'm not always fine. So
Lisa Wilson: Yeah, yeah.
Lisa Smith: if I say I'm great all the time, it's a big giant lie. Like again, another
Lisa Wilson: Mm-hmm. Yeah.
Lisa Smith: thing, I never thought I lied until I started like thinking about it and I was like, yeah, I actually do do that. I actually tell
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: people all the time I'm great, and I'm really not.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: Things are crazy.
Lisa Wilson: Things are crazy. We're all hanging. I mean, I we were talking the other day that like I could just start crying at any time, so just prepare yourself.
Lisa Smith: Yeah Crying, yeah, just anything.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: I mean, I watch something on TV, I can cry. Like, yeah, things make me extremely emotional and I'm not even sure why. Like, I'm not even having
Lisa Wilson: I mean
Lisa Smith: a breakdown or anything. It's just a little emotional.
Lisa Wilson: Welcome to fifty.
Lisa Smith: Just everything's emotional.
Lisa Wilson: I mean, it and that's okay too, right? So
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: can you remember a time that recently or one like do you have a lie that you've said that you were like either recently or in the past where you still kind of cringe on the inside because you said it?
Lisa Smith: Mmm. Okay, I I don't I kind of cringe at how long I tried to keep the lies going for Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny and the Tooth Fairy and all of that because I like that you don't get like a textbook of like, when is the right age to like shut it off or when do you like have the conversation and You know, a lot of times, I mean, I think I try to keep string it out longer than I should have because like he totally knew. And I mean, there was just like he just like called me out one day and he's like, so you are the Easter Bunny. I'm like, no, I'm not. And he's like, hey, but you are. Mom.
Lisa Wilson: I'm twenty two. I No I'm just joking
Lisa Smith: Like, I mean, and he, I mean, he was, he was younger, I think I didn't want to give up Santa Claus. I think I enjoyed
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: that like magic of the season. And he was just like, okay, so am I asking Santa Claus for what I want for Christmas or you? And I was like, okay, so we don't have to do this anymore. would love to hear other people because I think kids talk about it at school all the time. I
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: remember my cousins are the one that broke it to me, Santa Claus wasn't real, on Christmas Eve. at the Christmas party, at the family Christmas party, I was devastated. However, comma, I let my mom and dad think that it was still a thing for lots of years after that, you know? So.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. So if you guys are if you guys are moms out there and you're listening, drop in the chat like how old your kids were when you told them that there was no
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: Santa Claus or no Easter Bunny, because apparently there's no rule book. And you know, is it like
Lisa Smith: No?
Lisa Wilson: when when do they know? Right. My brothers
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: told me I knew right away. My brother also told me I was gonna die one day, but that's a conversation
Lisa Smith: Ha ha!
Lisa Wilson: for another day.
Lisa Smith: Just, okay.
Lisa Wilson: I mean, you know, so for me, I think though like I I really do cr I do lie for good. I crime for good, you know, So
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: I had a friend that I was talking to that there was they had a friend. And that other friend worked for my friend.
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: And they told me that they were, my friend was like, Yeah, we're gonna, they're gonna call out tomorrow, which was the day after Thanksgiving on the strip in retail, right? And they were like, Okay,
Lisa Smith: Never.
Lisa Wilson: so yeah, they're gonna call they're just gonna call out because we're gonna go to Black Friday shop, blah, blah, blah. And I was like, so I called my friend. And I was like, hey, this person
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: that works for you is gonna call out tomorrow. They're not gonna show up tomorrow. You need to plan for that. Well, this person called this person and said, I heard from Lisa Wilson that you're not gonna be here tomorrow. And if you
Lisa Smith: dang it.
Lisa Wilson: do that, you're fired. Well, then of course my friend calls me and it's like,
Lisa Smith: and is upset.
Lisa Wilson: Did you did you do this? And I said, No. And they're like, Lisa, I know you did. I know you did. And I was like, nope, I have no idea what you're talking about. Cause I was so like embarrassed and upset and just I felt so caught, like, caught. And I
Lisa Smith: Well, but how do you get out of that one though?
Lisa Wilson: so listen, it cost me my friendship with that person. And we had been really close friends for a really long time.
Lisa Smith: shoot.
Lisa Wilson: And it was not worth it in any way. And even if I had come clean, which I'm pretty sure I eventually did, like it still
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: doesn't repair that. trust that I damaged, you know? Because they
Lisa Smith: Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: were they were basically like, what was in this for you? Like, I
Lisa Smith: Mmm.
Lisa Wilson: I was gonna have a fun day with my friend tomorrow. And now I don't get that. And what did you get out of this? Like
Lisa Smith: Do you think it was because you
know how it would feel if somebody was calling out on you on Black Friday?
Lisa Wilson: Yes.
Lisa Smith: So, I mean, I can see their point, but
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: I also think you were probably coming from a place of just like BS. Like you don't call out. You don't call out on Black Friday. Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: hell no. Yeah. A thousand percent. A thousand percent. Do you have a signature lie? Like something that you're like, Yeah, I could see me saying that. Like if there were less if there was a playback, you'd be like, Yeah, yeah, I may have I may have said.
Lisa Smith: one that I actually tell myself all the time. I'm so busy I'm so busy, but If I would just reprioritize some things then I could make space for other things That is a lie. I tell myself a lot that I'm I mean, and it used to look really different. mean, like back in the day, it looked super, super different. I was a lot busier doing other things. Like really, my time was super small at home. My time's a lot more, I like I have more time at home now. So
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: how I spend it when I'm off work. I mean, yeah, I am busy, but I'm not too busy to like make time to like go for a walk or whatever, but I keep telling myself I am.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: Keep telling myself I'm just so damn busy. Well, I'm not.
Lisa Wilson: I think that you just have to like cut yourself a little slack, right? And sometimes it's not always easy and sometimes being honest is easier than coming up with a lie to tell, right? I don't I don't really have like a normal lie that I tell. Like I'm I don't tell people I'm fine when I'm not. I don't think. I mean, you would be able to call me out on that probably than more than anybody else, but
Lisa Smith: I think you're pretty much a, you, like, I can tell. Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Like for me, I'm a storyteller. Like for me,
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: that is probably where my most dishonest stuff will come in is if I'm telling someone a story that I have a desired outcome that I want,
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: I will tweak the story because I'm a salesperson, baby. I will tweak
Lisa Smith: I know, we learn to lie all the time.
Lisa Wilson: I will tweak that story to get the ultimate outcome of what I want.
Lisa Smith: Hey.
Lisa Wilson: And I mean, that's not that's always good for me, but it's not always good for the people that I'm telling the story to.
Lisa Smith: Well, I know if I need a straight shooter and I know that I need somebody to give me an honest opinion, I'm going to go to you. I don't need to go to somebody who's going to always just tell me like what I want to hear. Sometimes that's
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: nice and sometimes I need that. Sometimes I just need like
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: just hear me out, like tell me things are going to be fine. Sometimes I do need that. But there's a lot of times where it is so beneficial to have a friend or a family member that will be just honest with you about. how you're
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: showing up or maybe help you see a different way. So I appreciate the honesty. Sometimes,
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: it a little jarring? Yeah? Mm-hmm. Can be,
Lisa Wilson: Sorry, dude.
Lisa Smith: it's okay. I don't have to talk to you about things if I don't want an honest answer. You know? Like,
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Yeah.
Lisa Smith: so, I mean, and I open up to you about a lot of things and I want your honest opinion and I value it, so. I can't say that it's hard. It's just sometimes you're not ready to hear honesty because you're so
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: used to people lying to your freaking face all the time.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. Definitely. Well I did ask Doug the other day. He was I was like, Did you watch the podcast? And he was like, Yeah. I'm like, what was your favorite part?
Lisa Smith: shoot. He had He had nothing. Couldn't say.
Lisa Wilson: Nothing. Nothing. So I mean everywhere. So everybody
Lisa Smith: I love that so much. Good job, Doug. That was funny.
Lisa Wilson: Everybody everybody does it. Even to the people that we love more than anyone else on the planet.
Lisa Smith: He just didn't want to like let like let you down or like say no, I haven't watched it I didn't want to or whatever
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. Yeah. And and to be fair, Doug doesn't ever doesn't even know how to find the podcast app on the phone. Like he doesn't
Lisa Smith: You
Lisa Wilson: do podcasts at all, but he diligently does watch the YouTube podcast every week, but he doesn't stream it or listen to any other podcast whatsoever.
Lisa Smith: That is so funny. High five Doug. Yeah, I did. It was great. It was great. Good job, you guys.
Lisa Wilson: Like, yeah. But so the only thing I can think of that like is the dangerous lie. So the lie that
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: like keeps you in danger or puts someone else in danger, like the, you know, the self-harm stuff, or the I'm not doing drugs when you talk to your doctor and you actually are. Or you're in a relationship that is maybe not so great and you keep telling everybody that it's great.
Lisa Smith: Like if if you are telling a lie to protect someone else, if it's harmful, if it's harming someone or will harm someone else,
Lisa Wilson: Yeah. I have a friend who was looking for love in all the wrong places, as we all have done at one point in our lives. And she's telling
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: me about this person that she met that lives in another country. Get
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: your red flags out, ladies, get the red flags out. So not that he lives
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: in another country, but that this is the first time. That she met somebody that lives in a different country, and
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: they became very close very fast. Second red flag, second red
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: flag. And I'm listening to this, and I'm like, mm-hmm. she goes to visit
him in this other country
Lisa Smith: Mmm.
Lisa Wilson: and immediately is telling me, like two days back, that she is thinks that this is the one. And
Lisa Smith: Mmm.
Lisa Wilson: you know, in normal Lisa would have been like, okay, listen, absolutely not. Like this is
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: you need to check yourself before you wreck yourself, you know? But I
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: just wanted it for her so bad because she really, really did want to be in love and she really wanted to find somebody who wanted to also be in love. And
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: so then she's like, you know, nope, we're gonna I'm moving there. I've left my stuff already in his place. I'm gonna go see him again. I met his family and I'm like, okay,
Lisa Smith: Wow.
Lisa Wilson: well, is he coming here? No, he doesn't have a visa.
Lisa Smith: Yeah, yeah. You'd have to do it. Well, sometimes you.
Lisa Wilson: Doesn't have a passport or a visa, like you can't just come on vacation. And I was like, okay, well have like h has your family met this person? And there was like, nope, not it like
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: just like full speed ahead. This is the one for me. Well,
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: you know, and again, I should have I should have spoken up. I should have said, This doesn't this doesn't sound if it sounds too good to be true, it usually is. And, you know, cause I'm a skeptic and you know, a dream killer, clearly. But I didn't want to be the dream killer. I wanted to like,
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: you know, so flash forward, like,
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: a couple like one it was like a a full month later. And
Lisa Smith: Okay.
Lisa Wilson: she's crying. And I'm like, what's going on? Well, lo
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: and behold, she gives him $10,000 to hold for her in another
Lisa Smith: Why?
Lisa Wilson: country so that she could invest in his business. And now
Lisa Smith: Bye!
Lisa Wilson: he's not returning her calls.
Lisa Smith: Mm-mm.
Lisa Wilson: like these are the like and I'm like, never again, never again will I not speak up and say something because I felt like I felt like he was a predator. I really did think he was a
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: predator, but I didn't say that he was a predator. And even if I had, she may not have listened to me, but now I carry that guilt around that I didn't like I didn't speak up when I knew something was wrong. And I saw my friend who was very Not like she's very naive. I saw my friend who
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: was very naive and very much just wanted to be in love and very trusting, get totally shanghai'd and fleeced for cash that she never saw again. And this is not somebody that makes a lot of money. Like this probably
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: wiped out their savings.
Lisa Smith: Yeah, yeah. Well, I mean, don't don't be too hard on yourself because she was lied to all the way around. Right. And I
Lisa Wilson: Yeah, yeah.
Lisa Smith: think you had good intentions to let her figure out like how it was going to like how her life was going to unfold without being, to your point, the dream killer. But I mean, dang, that sucks. That's a hard one. Mm
Lisa Wilson: It does suck. And I feel like, you know, ladies, if you're out there listening, I'm gonna tell you about this little game that my friends and I play. Lisa has been part of this game.
Lisa Smith: Hehehehehe
Lisa Wilson: So so I think sometimes we get so wrapped up in not wanting our friends to know like what's going on behind closed doors or what's going on at home, is that we
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: just like, no, everything's great. No, there's no problem. So my friends and I started this game called In the Name of Our Patron Saint Laci Peterson.
Lisa Smith: Yep.
Lisa Wilson: If you don't know who that is, Google her. But all of her friends were so like completely caught off guard when she went missing. And then when Scott went to prison, like they just never knew
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: anything was wrong. They had no
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: idea. And so they made a pact with each other that they would always be honest about what was going on at home. So
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: that if something happened, that their friends could get ahead of it, you know, or
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: their friends would be more prepared and like. Give each other this honest advice about
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: what they should do. So play that game with your friends because it really
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: is important that people, and it doesn't have to be about your spouse. It could be about anything in your life that maybe you're kind of keeping hidden because you don't want to bother people or you don't want anybody to know. But you know, it's it's always easier and it's a lot lighter when you are come clean with people and you're like, okay, in the name of our patron saint, Laci Peterson, here's what's going
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: on. There was a big fight yesterday, and this is why. And it's amazing, you guys, what this when I get this call from my friends.
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: Everything stops. I get on the phone. I'm like, what what happened? And they do the
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: same for me. And it's like we set up this little thing for each other that is really helpful. And I I strongly encourage it. and again, it could just be about anything, but it's it's it's
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: a good thing. I think that I think that there are some things that we don't need to repackage and sell, like that just is what it is, you know, and that's okay too, right? So
Lisa Smith: Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: on the note of having great friends who pick up when I call, which has not always been the case,
Lisa Smith: Mm.
Lisa Wilson: what's your high five this week?
Lisa Smith: Okay, well, it doesn't have anything to do with like lying, but
Lisa Wilson: Okay.
Lisa Smith: this week was Jimin's birthday. So it was a super fun week. Lots of content to absorb and so it was super fun. Yeah. What about you? What was your high five?
Lisa Wilson: so my high five this week is that we I've gotten to see you quite a bit and I I
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: love talking to you and it's like one of my very favorite things to do. So that has definitely been my my high five. I we've
Lisa Smith: Likewise. We've laughed a lot.
Lisa Wilson: a lot.
Lisa Smith: We've laughed a lot and it's been really fun. It's been fun. I know our schedule is pretty condensed right now.
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: And so we are definitely talking a lot.
Lisa Wilson: A lot.
Lisa Smith: But yeah, I would definitely say that that would be a high five for me as well. Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: Yay, I love it. Okay, so we're gonna answer our question, Lisa, and I know my answer, but I want to hear yours. Is it okay to lie?
Lisa Smith: I mean, yeah, I started off thinking in this discussion that I would say no to that question. And I think after I really thought about all the things, like we kind of always lie a little bit. So
Lisa Wilson: Yeah.
Lisa Smith: yeah, yeah, I would have to say, as long as it's not
Lisa Wilson: I think
Lisa Smith: harming someone.
Lisa Wilson: As long as it's not harming someone, it is to or yourself, it is absolutely okay to lie. I mean,
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm or yourself
Lisa Wilson: sometimes we gotta do what we gotta do, you know?
Lisa Smith: Yeah, yeah.
Lisa Wilson: Get out of that ticket. If it if telling a lie is gonna help you get out of that parking ticket or that speeding ticket, lie away, sister. Do whatever you gotta do. Okay, so
Lisa Smith: I lo-
Lisa Wilson: if so t before we roll out, you guys listen,
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: if you Have recently told a little white lie and it kind of boiled over into something else, and you want to talk about it, put it in the DMs, put it in the chat. Or if you just want to share what your favorite little white lie is. I mean,
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: we're all in this together. Like let's let's get together and figure that out. but with that, you guys please make sure that you hydrate and
Lisa Smith: Mm-hmm.
Lisa Wilson: really hydrate. Don't just tell us you're hydrating.
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: Unclench your j
Lisa Smith: Yeah, I had like 32 ounces of water just like in 10 minutes.
Lisa Wilson: And you haven't had a drink of water since Tuesday? So hydrate, really
Lisa Smith: think I'd do that on my
Lisa Wilson: hydrate. Make sure you unclench jaw. Make sure you roll
Lisa Smith: Yeah.
Lisa Wilson: your shoulders back. Have an amazing week and go high-fi somebody.
Lisa Smith: Alright, have a good week. Thanks you guys.
Lisa Wilson: Bye.