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Oh yeah, flow with me tonight.
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Let the five let me write you.
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Turn the volume up and leave your world behind.
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Yeah, it's that flow with Floyd, one of a kind.
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Welcome back to another thought-provoking episode of Flow with Floyd.
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You know the podcast where we get real about life, mindset, and personal growth.
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One deep conversation at a time.
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I'm your host, and today we're going to entertain a question that I have been pondering for a few weeks now.
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Do the people in your life make you better?
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Now, I can't take credit for this question.
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The inspiration for today's episode actually comes from a sermon by Pastor Howard John Wesley of Alpha Street Baptist Church.
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He preached a powerful message titled, Do They Make You Better?
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And let me tell you as a word.
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It made me reflect back on my own relationships, my inner circle, and the impact that people have on my life.
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And I knew that I had to bring this conversation here to you.
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Because whether you realize it or not, the people we surround ourselves with will either push us forward or hold us back.
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There's no neutral.
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So today we're going to unpack how to evaluate the people in your life, the difference between assign and allow relationships.
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And most importantly, how to be intentional about the company you keep.
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So grab your favorite drink, sit back, relax, and let's follow the flow.
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All right now.
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Now let's start with something real.
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Your environment shapes you more than you think.
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You ever hear the saying that show me your friends and I'll show you your future?
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That's right.
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There is truth.
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The people you surround yourself with shape our minds, our habits, and even the way we see the world.
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Motivational speaker Jim Rohn said that you are the average of the five people you spend the most time with.
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This suggests that we are heavily influenced by the people we consistently surround ourselves with.
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And that's because humans, we are social creatures.
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And we subconsciously adopt the behaviors, the beliefs, and the attitudes of the people around us.
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If you spend
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most of your time with ambitious, growth-oriented individuals, you will naturally be pushed to grow.
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But on the flip side, if you surround yourself with negativity, laziness, and a toxic energy, it can drag you down without you even realizing it.
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You ever notice that when we hang around highly motivated people, you start thinking bigger, or how negativity can spread like wildfire in a toxic environment?
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That's because our emotions, habits, and perspectives are contagious.
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If the people in our inner circle prioritize personal growth, hard work, and positivity, you're more likely to embody those same qualities.
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Remember, your closer relationships influence your daily habits, how you handle challenges and even your standards for success.
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If your friends are constantly talking about business ideas, fitness goals, or self-improvement, those conversations become the new normal.
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But if the main topic in your circle are complaints, gossip, or excuses, that becomes your reality.
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But here's another one for you.
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Water seeks its own level.
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The meaning is that we all naturally rise or sink to the level of the people that are around us.
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If you surround yourself with people who think big, work hard, and chase and pursue their dreams, guess what?
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That energy is contagious and it rubs off.
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But if you're constantly around negativity, excuses, and stagnation, that will pull you down again before you realize this.
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So let's take a moment.
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I want you to do this little exercise.
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I want you to think about the five people you spend the most time with.
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Do they push you towards your goals?
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Do they inspire you to grow, learn, and evolve?
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Or do they drain your energy and keep you stuck in the same old repetitive cycle?
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Now you see, the people around us are like the wind.
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They either push us forward or they hold us back.
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And sometimes we don't even notice the impact until we take a step back and evaluate them.
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You know, I had this friend, let's call him Mike, who's a funny guy, always down for a good time.
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But he had this energy about him, negative, always doubting himself, making excuses.
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And after a while, I noticed I was picking up those same thoughts and habits.
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Instead of being optimistic about my future,
I became pessimistic, doubting my own value to the world, but more importantly, to myself.
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And it took me years to understand that our friendship was toxic.
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If you want to grow, you need to be around people who are growing too.
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And sometimes that means making tough decisions or choices about who gets access to your energy.
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Now it's time to get real deep.
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So get ready.
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Now, whether you realize it or not, every person in your life is either assigned or allowed.
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Let me say that again.
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Every person in your life is either a sign or allowed.
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Can I go deeper?
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Assigned people are the ones in your life you didn't necessarily choose, but they're in your life for a reason.
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We have no say so in the family we're born into, but we do have say in how we navigate those relationships.
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Through our life, we'll encounter friends, acquaintances, and even strangers who will cross our paths unexpectedly.
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Everybody in your life is there for a reason or a season.
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Some will teach us valuable lessons, others will challenge us, and few will push us towards growth that we didn't know that we needed.
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These connections are not random.
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They are assignments.
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They're meant to shape us, refine us, and sometimes even redirect our journey.
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Now, whether they offer support or bring challenges, each assigned person serves a purpose in our story.
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Yet the key is discerning their role and learning from every interaction so that you can continue to grow into the person that you are truly meant to be.
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These relationships are not always easy, but they are necessary.
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A tough mentor, a demanding boss, or even a family member who holds you accountable.
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These are the people who force you to grow, especially when it's uncomfortable.
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Let me give you a real life example.
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Let's think about Joseph from the Bible.
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He didn't choose his brothers, yet they played a very critical role in his journey.
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Out of jealousy, they sold him into slavery, which led him to Egypt.
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That wasn't an accident, it was an assignment.
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Through portrayal and hardships from unexpected connections, Joseph ended up in a position of power that allowed him to save an entire nation, including their very brothers who wronged him.
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Okay, let me break it down just a little bit more.
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Have you ever had someone who constantly challenged you?
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For me, it was Coach Majors.
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I mean, from the day I stepped foot on campus, he challenged me.
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He was a very demanding person.
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He would tell us that practice don't make perfect, but perfect practice makes you better.
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I couldn't stand a man.
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For years, I harbored so much animosity towards him.
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But over time I started to appreciate him because of his high demands and standards.
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I learned discipline, resilience, and how to pay attention to detail.
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All of these skills made me a better person.
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Beating Coach Majors wasn't random, it was assigned.
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Now, the problem that we have with assigned relationships is that they are not always comfortable, but they are purposeful.
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Some people are placed in our lives to teach you, to sharpen you, and even push you into your destiny.
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And the key is to recognize a difference between an assignment that promotes growth and a situation that simply drains you.
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Now, a lot of people are the ones that you invite into your life.
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These are the relationships that you create and you choose: friends, partners, or anyone that you let into your personal space.
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Pastor Wesley said, most of the relationships we have, they are not intentional.
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They're random.
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They happen by accident, not by purpose.
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We connect with people based upon emotions, what's familiar, or even sometimes what is convenient.
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We vibe with who we vibe with.
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But here's the danger.
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Not everyone you connect to or with deserves access to you.
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Look at it this way: let's say you're throwing a house part and you leave the front door wide open.
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Anyone walking by can just stroll in, grab a plate, sit on your couch, use your restroom, take up space in your home.
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Now, some guests were in good energy, meaningful conversation and encouragement, but others, they show up empty-handed.
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They drain their room's energy
and they leave a mess behind.
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The problem is that we often entertain people in our lives in the same way.
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Some of the people we allow into our space don't have the concern or the capacity to build us up because they're too consumed with training us.
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Yet we keep them around because they make us feel good temporarily.
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They stroke our ego.
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Or they might help us escape an insecurity that we have about ourselves.
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And they distract us from things that we don't want to face.
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And then you have some that'll fill a void.
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We only tolerate them because we fear loneliness.
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But here's the truth: whether a person is assigned to you by circumstances or allowed to you by choice, not everyone is meant to stay forever.
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Relationships have seasons.
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And when they stop serving your growth, you have to take responsibility for who remains in your life.
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The question is: who are you allowing to your space?
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And are they helping you become better?
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So here's a truth moment.
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Just because someone has been in your life for years, doesn't mean they stay forever.
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And just because someone is family doesn't mean they automatically deserve access to your energy, your dreams, or your time.
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Growth requires discernment.
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You have a choice in who you allow access into your world.
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And if you are truly committed to becoming a better person, you must be intentional about that choice.
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Because not everyone is meant to go where you're going.
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So how do you know who's making us better and who's holding us back?
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Here are three key traits of people who elevate you.
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They challenge you.
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They push you to be your best.
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They don't let you settle.
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They call you out when you're slipping, but they do it with love.
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These are the people who see your potential even at the times when you don't.
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They won't let you stay too comfortable in a given situation because they know what you are capable of.
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Think about that one friend or family member who constantly reminds you of your goals when you start making excuses.
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Or maybe the mentor who holds you accountable when you're not putting the work in.
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Or that family member who encourages you to keep going when you feel like giving up.
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Their challenges are not meant to break you, they're meant to build you up.
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Remember, Solomon said iron sharpeners iron, and the right people will sharpen you into the best version of yourself.
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People who elevate you, they also inspire you.
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Their energy, their mindset, and their work ethic make you want to level up to their point.
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Being around them sparks something in you, whether it's ambition, creativity, or just simply discipline.
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They don't just talk about goals, they take action.
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They don't complain about obstacles, they just find solutions.
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And because you see them pushing forward, grinding, you start believing that you can do the same.
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These are the people whose presence challenges you to be better, to think bigger, to work harder, and to dream beyond your current reality.
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Now, whether there is their dedication or personal growth or their resilience in tough times, or maybe their ability to turn setbacks into comebacks, they set a standard that makes you want to rise higher.
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Their grind motivates you.
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Their belief in themselves strengthen your belief in yourself.
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Their success reminds you that greatness is possible.
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Surrounding yourself with people like that doesn't just change your mindset.
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It changes your future.
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And the third thing that people who elevate you do is they support your growth.
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There's no jealousy, no competition.
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It's just genuine encouragement and celebration of your wins.
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These are the people who clap for you when you succeed, not because they have to, because they really want to see you win.
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They don't feel threatened by your progress.
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They feel inspired.
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They constantly remind you that your potential, even at the points where you doubt yourself, they offer their guidance when you need direction.
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And they stand beside you through both the victories as well as the setbacks.
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Their support isn't conditional.
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It's deeply rooted in love and respect and a shared belief of their success.
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With them, you don't have to shrink yourself to make them comfortable.
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You don't have to downplay your dreams or second guess your ambitions.
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Instead, they push you to even go further, cheering you on the way one step at a time.
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Real friends, real mentors, and real supporters don't compete with you.
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They grow with you.
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And here's another real talk moment.
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But let's be honest, sometimes people holding us back are the ones that are closest to us.
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And that's where it begets tough.
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Because loyalty is real.
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Love is real.
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But so is growth.
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And if someone is in your life isn't growing with you, then you have to make that decision.
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Are they still part of this journey?
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Are they part of the past?
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Now, let's not get it twisted.
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This episode is not meant for you to go all willy-nilly and start dismissing people from your life.
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It means to be intentional about who gets the most access to your time, energy, and mindset.
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The first thing you should do is audit your inner circle.
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Write down the five people you spend the most time with.
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Are they challenging, inspiring, and supporting you?
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Now your list might look something like this.
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You have Mike, your best friend since high school.
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Always fun to be around, but never seem to have any type of real ambition.
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He complains about life, but never take any actions to change it.
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Or you might have a Jessica.
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She could be a coworker that you hang out with often.
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Now she's motivated.
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She's always reading self-development books and actively working towards her goals.
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Every time you talk to her, you leave feeling inspired.
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Or better yet, you might have a David, your gym partner.
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Now, David is disciplined, focused, and constantly pushing himself.
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If you skip a workout, he'll call you out on it.
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Then you might have Sarah.
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Sarah's a close friend who's supportive but tends to bring a lot of drama.
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Now she's always there to listen to you when it's time to vent.
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But she also drains your energy with her negativity and her gossip.
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Or maybe you have a cousin named Chris.
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He's family.
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So you feel obligated to spend time with him.
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But let the truth be told, he discourages more than he encourages you.
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He doesn't believe in chasing big dreams, and he often makes fun of your goals.
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Now, let's take a look at this list.
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Jessica and David challenge and inspire you.
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So you should spend more time with them.
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Mike and Sarah, they really don't push you to be better.
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While they're fun, they may not be helping you grow.
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Now your cousin Chris, he actively discourages you.
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So you might need to set boundaries on how much access that he has time to your time and your energy.
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The second thing you need to do is seek out growth-minded people.
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Join communities, support groups, take classes, network with people who think bigger.
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Remember, energy is contagious.
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And the third thing you need to do is you need to set boundaries.
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If someone's energy is dreaming, it's okay to love them from a distance.
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Remember, you have to protect your peace.
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I remember when I started shifting my inner circle, I started playing small, I started thinking bigger, taking more risk.
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And guess what?
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Life rewarded that mindset.
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That's that's the power about being intentional about your relationships.
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Do the people in your life push you forward or hold you back?
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Inspired by a powerful sermon by Pastor Wesley, we broke down the difference between being assigned and being allowed.
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Those that are given to us by circumstances versus the ones that we actively choose.
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We also explored how to how the people around us shape our mindset, our habits, and even our ideas of success.
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We use real-life examples to unpack the importance of auditing your circle, recognizing relationships that challenge, inspire, and support you, and setting boundaries for those who drain your energy.
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For remember, at the end of the day, not everyone is meant to stay in your life forever.
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Growth requires making intentional choices about who has access to your time, your energy, and your dreams.
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So, here's my challenge for you this week.
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Take a hard look at your inner circle.
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Step back, evaluate your relationship, and ask yourself: are the people around me making me better?
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Now, it's not about cutting people off, it's about understanding the roles that they play in your life.
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Some people are meant to challenge and push you, some of their support and uplift you, and others serve as lessons rather than lifelong companions.
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Not everyone is meant to walk with you forever.
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And you know what?
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That's okay.
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The key is to being intentional about who has access to your time, energy, and growth.
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So surround yourself with those who align with your purpose and watch how your life begins to elevate.
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So hit me up on Instagram at FlowWithFloyd and let me know what changes you're making.
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And if this episode hits home for you, do me a favor like, subscribe, comment, and share with a friend who needs to hear it.
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Until next time, keep flowing, keep growing, and always follow the flow.
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Let the noise just fade away.
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Find your peace and start today.
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Just breathe in this quiet space with a gentle, steady pace.
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Growth will bloom here in its time.
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Growth will bloom here in its time.