رونوشت 🔗
WEBVTT
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We have Ms. Lacey Mosley, aka the scam goddess.
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Y'all know her.
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Hey, girl.
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We good?
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The black flame candle is getting real hocus pocus in here.
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This is flammable.
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We should blow them out.
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Okay, we're going to- Okay, we're going to- We're doing the cut real quick.
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We're going to blow it out.
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Okay.
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Oh my gosh.
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You go on a date.
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You go on a date.
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Or two.
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Y'all have sex.
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And then you decide- You having sex after two dates?
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Huh?
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Is that the standard, Doc?
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I don't know.
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How long were the dates?
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I can't.
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What's up, everybody gang?
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Howdy.
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Hey, dolls.
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If you can't tell, we are in the Halloween edition of Everybody's Crazy today.
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And we have our first in-studio guest.
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We have Miss Lacey Mosley, a.k.a.
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The scam goddess.
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Y'all know her.
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Hey, girl.
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Hello.
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Hi, Lacey.
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Hello.
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I love Halloween.
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I love to be a goofy girl.
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Oh, I love that.
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It's my fave.
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It's my fave.
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So what is your crazy today?
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Oh, okay.
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So my crazy today is that I got low-key burgled.
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What is that?
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I don't know.
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Like...
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I have a home organizer who's coming to like help me with my crazy because I'm very much a visual person and like, I'll just have stuff everywhere.
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Now I'm not nasty.
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I was raised right.
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It ain't going to be no dirt, but you know, it might be clothes everywhere if I'm packing or whatever.
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And it's just like a bit, a lot of clutter.
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And I've noticed that it's affecting my mental health.
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So I hired someone to help me.
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So she's ordering stuff to the house.
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I'm out of town, blah, blah, blah.
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Right.
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And then we're waiting on just like a package.
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Funny enough, it was just Quince pillows, like, like pillowcases.
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Yeah.
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So tell me why.
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I get a picture from like the delivery person that says that the package had arrived.
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And I'm a millennial, so I still rent.
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So it was in the mailroom, but it was supposed to be like in a locker.
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And so I reached out to the building.
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I was like, hey, this never arrived.
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We were just looking for it.
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And they went and did forensic research, got like videos of somebody's DoorDash driver coming into the building, delivering their DoorDash, then coming back to the package room, seeing my package open out there.
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We good?
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The black flame candle?
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It's getting real hocus pocus in here.
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I think we should just blow them out.
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And just have them for the estate.
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This is flammable.
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I'm going to go up and smoke.
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This is definitely flammable too.
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I think we should blow them out.
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Okay.
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I like a little dangerous.
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Halloween.
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Just a little dangerous.
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We'll have five more minutes with it.
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And then we'll go.
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Yeah.
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But so they had a full video of him coming down after delivering the order, going in the package room, picking up some packages, and just walking out with him.
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That's insane.
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And I was like, that's so crazy.
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But at the same time, what was crazy for me is that, you know, Scam Goddess, I kind of understood his point.
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Yeah.
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Wait a minute, what?
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No.
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Like, I wasn't really that mad.
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I reached out to Quince.
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They're cool.
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I love them.
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Load full transcript
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They sponsor my show.
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So, you know, they were just like, oh, we'll send you more.
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But, like, I understand in this economy, maybe somebody didn't tip that DoorDash or well enough, and he said, I'm leaving with something.
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Damn, that is crazy.
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Or maybe they came down the elevator and they took it back.
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They took the tip back.
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They be doing that.
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People be taking the tip back and tricking people.
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That is actually nuts, but I do understand.
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Yeah.
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Well, they do that around my old neighborhood.
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They would steal packages from your door.
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Yeah.
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And someone stole a full-on wooden bench from the front of my door.
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That's wild.
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They just take it anything.
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But it was huge.
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I wonder if it had to be a partner.
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It was huge.
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It was huge.
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And in the middle of the night, we were on vacation and there was a big, big box.
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An older gentleman came right to the door, picked up the box and put it in his car.
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Oh, it sounds like he was in great shape.
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That's what I'm saying.
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It had to be tandem if it wasn't.
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I just feel like what makes you want to take things that you're not sure if you need it?
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That's the part I want to understand.
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Because of the economy we're in right now, people don't even care if they need it.
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They're not even going to go to check.
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You want to sell it?
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Maybe.
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They're going to do something with it.
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They can figure it out.
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I think that that is actually crazy.
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I mean, it is crazy and I hate that it's happening.
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It didn't used to be like that.
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Apparently, people used to leave their doors unlocked to places.
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Yeah.
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But at the same time, you know, scamming is a job.
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It seems like he worked pretty hard to pick that bench up.
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So let's talk about our costumes and why.
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Okay.
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So you go first.
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Oh, is it not obvious?
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No, so I am a Gen Z iced coffee that you're not supposed to bring to your interview, but you can bring me anywhere.
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Okay.
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You'll get the job.
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I'm a personality hire.
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Oh, okay.
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Love that for you.
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Vanna?
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Well, I was supposed to be Whitney Houston, you know, because of Dolly and Whitney, but my closet was not calling for it.
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So I am not going to cry Mary J.
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today.
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I love that for you.
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And obviously girls and guys, I am Dolly Parton because I love her so much.
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Savannah, tell us, why do you love Halloween?
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I think Halloween is so fun.
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I love seeing people's creativity with their costumes.
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I love getting dressed up and going through the whole thought process.
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I'm picking what I'm gonna be for Halloween.
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When I was younger, I used to love trick or treating, even though I ate none of the candy, cause I was, I just wasn't a sweet kid like that.
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But I just thought, I think Halloween is fun.
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And do you feel like, what was your best Halloween costume thus far?
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Oh my gosh, it's hard to choose.
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I go there.
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I think when I was just Miss Akron, Ohio, but it was a nod to Miss Argentina from Beetlejuice.
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That was probably my favorite.
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That makeup took six hours.
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Ooh, okay, Hattie Clove.
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So that... See, that's...
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I'll be into it.
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That is how serious I take it.
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But just recently, I think that was definitely...
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One of my babies.
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And Lacey, what about you?
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So I was in Ireland where Halloween originated for the past two years.
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But before that, it ended up being my favorite costume.
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I talk about on my podcast, Scam Goddess, that I'm a bad driver.
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I need
to stop doing that.
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It's honestly probably a liability.
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But my fans know that I got dropped from an insurance company.
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I was no longer in good hands.
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And they were like, well, where, what do you have now?
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And we know you got the general.
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And I was like, I don't have the general.
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And finally I gave in because I did have
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Jenna.
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And so I dressed up as the general and I carried around a cardboard cut out of shack all night long.
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And unfortunately I goofied too close to the sun because I ended up on inside the NBA at Jackson.
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Oh my God.
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I was like, Oh no, it was supposed to go this far.
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I called my reps.
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I was like, Hey y'all, I'm so sorry.
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But it was so fun.
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It was fun.
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I love Halloween.
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I'm not, I love Halloween.
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Cause my friend loves it.
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I don't genuinely love the holiday, but I,
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I feel like I get dressed.
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They throw some of the best Halloween parties.
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So, but we had a Halloween party with our other friend one year.
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And I was Jessica Rabbit.
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And that was fun.
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And I had prosthetic boobs.
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I really wanted to do that for y'all today.
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But that also took six hours.
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Did you need them?
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Not to be looking.
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Not to be overly looking.
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I told her all she needed was a push-up.
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She was in there.
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I give y'all something at Dollywood.
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There you go.
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All right.
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Dollywood.
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So when are you, what are you too grown to be scared of?
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I mean, I think in the context of Halloween, the dark, like, come on guys.
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I know people.
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I know people today who sleep with the TV on.
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Okay, well.
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We're scared of the dark.
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I'm
people.
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Come on.
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You sleep at the TV?
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But it's not because you're scared of the dark, right?
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It's the background noise, right, Lacey?
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I don't know.
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Like, if my refrigerator makes ice, I'm like, hello?
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I'm automatically in a 90s horror film.
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I know I'm dying first.
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I was just about to say, that is rule number one for getting killed.
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You're not saying hello.
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Yeah.
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This isn't funny.
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This isn't funny.
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I'm like in my house by myself.
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This isn't funny.
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Yeah.
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I would say mind the dark and also the shower.
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Like not afraid to bathe, please.
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Please.
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We do that.
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But we do it well.
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And we do it well.
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But when I'm in the shower, I feel my most vulnerable.
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I feel like that would be, like, the most embarrassing place to be, like, attacked.
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And so, like, I keep my, like, I just keep, like, the little door open a little bit.
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And I keep all my doors in my bathroom open so I can just, like, peek out every now and then just in case the killer comes.
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I don't know if y'all are familiar with Wendy Williams.
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She always talk about the killer.
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And I'm like, yeah, if I hear a noise, I'm like, it's the killer.
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Oh, my God.
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Yeah.
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I don't want to be fighting for my life booty naked.
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That's just, that's bad.
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I feel you.
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I can't do that.
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I don't think that's a good idea.
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Yeah, I don't.
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I don't know that anything comes top of mind to be scared of.
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Oh, you fearless.
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Okay.
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I mean, I don't think I get... Yeah, I don't think it's something that comes... No, that's funny.
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I was going to say not bugs or nothing, but you will pick up a bug with your bare hand and be like, okay, just throw it outside.
259
00:08:58.252 --> 00:08:59.613
How are you doing that?
260
00:08:59.633 --> 00:09:00.553
Yeah, I'm not...
261
00:09:00.673 --> 00:09:04.454
I don't think that there is many things that automatically...
262
00:09:05.534 --> 00:09:07.235
Fear me, which is interesting.
263
00:09:07.375 --> 00:09:09.076
Wow, that makes me scared of you.
264
00:09:09.316 --> 00:09:11.016
Yeah, I'm working on that.
265
00:09:11.597 --> 00:09:12.077
Oh, gosh.
266
00:09:12.177 --> 00:09:13.177
I don't know.
267
00:09:13.197 --> 00:09:14.858
I feel like that's a great skill to have.
268
00:09:14.998 --> 00:09:16.339
I mean, I think it is.
269
00:09:16.359 --> 00:09:19.020
I do think it is, but I don't think...
270
00:09:20.054 --> 00:09:30.281
Now, listen, what I will say is I'm not going to put myself in a place where you're going to have a bunch of fictitious, scary shit like Halloween Horror Nights.
271
00:09:30.582 --> 00:09:31.963
Because I was scared there.
272
00:09:32.643 --> 00:09:33.844
I was like, get me the hell out of here.
273
00:09:33.864 --> 00:09:35.225
Savannah's like, this is great.
274
00:09:35.345 --> 00:09:39.388
I was like, this little people and pigs and all kinds of stuff going around.
275
00:09:39.408 --> 00:09:41.469
I was like, that was too much for me.
276
00:09:42.090 --> 00:09:43.191
It was too much for me.
277
00:09:43.631 --> 00:09:44.191
I love it.
278
00:09:44.211 --> 00:09:48.855
So that, I don't like the idea of putting myself someplace with like...
279
00:09:49.655 --> 00:10:15.923
everything feeling scary yeah and they're also artists who are really dedicated to their crafts so they're trying to get you no i ran into the store i was waiting it was i was waiting in the gift shop blow it out blow it out okay are we blowing the camera real quick we're gonna blow it out okay oh my gosh oh my god it it really does look like the black flame candle or maybe i should see the glasses you got it
280
00:10:17.120 --> 00:10:18.221
I'm giving it all I got.
281
00:10:18.341 --> 00:10:19.181
Here, give her a card.
282
00:10:19.261 --> 00:10:19.801
Give her a card.
283
00:10:19.821 --> 00:10:26.964
Okay.
284
00:10:26.984 --> 00:10:28.745
Yo, everybody's great.
285
00:10:28.845 --> 00:10:33.727
When someone scares you, are you fight or flight type of person?
286
00:10:35.255 --> 00:10:46.978
It depends on the situation because sometimes I feel like, I don't know, there was this quote Mike Tyson had that he said like a lot of the reason that he was successful in boxing matches is that he wasn't scared to get hit in the face.
287
00:10:47.598 --> 00:10:48.378
And most people are.
288
00:10:48.398 --> 00:10:49.518
That's the first thing you protect.
289
00:10:49.898 --> 00:10:52.119
So if you put your hands on you like, I'm crazier.
290
00:10:52.159 --> 00:10:53.079
I'm crazier than you.
291
00:10:53.439 --> 00:10:56.300
Like sometimes that intimidation, people like, you know what?
292
00:10:56.560 --> 00:10:57.400
I won't mess with
you.
293
00:10:57.760 --> 00:11:03.402
Like if I ever run up against somebody who has nothing to lose, that is the scariest person I've ever seen in my life.
294
00:11:03.442 --> 00:11:04.962
I'm like, okay, you got it.
295
00:11:05.322 --> 00:11:27.145
one you want parking spot you want you want my bag what do you need yeah but then other times like especially if i see like lots of people running i'm running too and you know i'll figure out why we ran when we get there exactly how about you um i think i'm fighting i don't really like to fight but if i was in a scary situation i'm not backing down
296
00:11:29.475 --> 00:11:44.892
it's giving flight I'm getting the fuck about there yeah I guess if someone is trying to attack or do something I think I may I just think the roar in me may come out yeah if it's not a fictitious scenario like horror nights and I know it's for entertainment I am getting the fuck out of there I'm saving myself
297
00:11:45.300 --> 00:11:45.500
Yeah.
298
00:11:46.061 --> 00:11:46.681
I don't know.
299
00:11:46.741 --> 00:11:47.162
I love that.
300
00:11:47.202 --> 00:11:48.983
Put your oxygen mask on and do it.
301
00:11:49.003 --> 00:11:49.684
I'm out of here.
302
00:11:49.844 --> 00:11:52.887
I think going back to your thing is the scenario.
303
00:11:53.207 --> 00:11:53.467
Yes.
304
00:11:54.188 --> 00:11:58.932
And I've never had to fight in my life, but there was one time where I had to convince somebody that I could fight.
305
00:11:59.252 --> 00:12:09.481
I was getting bullied in college and the girl was on, this is the early days of Twitter, and she was like, that's when we would subtweet because you didn't have to add anybody because it was only like 15 of us on there.
306
00:12:10.141 --> 00:12:15.262
And so she was, I don't know, a situation where she thought I stole a boyfriend.
307
00:12:15.282 --> 00:12:16.802
We're not getting into that.
308
00:12:16.822 --> 00:12:20.283
But she was like, this year is going to be really interesting.
309
00:12:20.323 --> 00:12:21.063
And I said, year?
310
00:12:21.083 --> 00:12:22.243
Year?
311
00:12:22.743 --> 00:12:23.844
No, we're not doing year.
312
00:12:24.004 --> 00:12:26.744
And my friends hyped me up, and I had put on some athletic clothes.
313
00:12:26.764 --> 00:12:27.524
And they were like, you know what?
314
00:12:27.544 --> 00:12:31.425
You should put some Vaseline on your face to really sell it, and the punches would slide off.
315
00:12:31.465 --> 00:12:32.865
And I was like, yes, I'm an actor.
316
00:12:32.905 --> 00:12:33.225
I don't know.
317
00:12:33.285 --> 00:12:34.666
I was like, I'm getting the character.
318
00:12:35.126 --> 00:12:37.006
And so, yeah, we pulled up, and I was like,
319
00:12:37.346 --> 00:12:49.989
this ends now and like i didn't want to fight i wasn't prepared to fight but i looked like i was crazy enough she never bothered me again i never fought i yeah i haven't had to
320
00:12:54.084 --> 00:12:56.386
And there she is.
321
00:12:56.406 --> 00:12:56.906
Do I look?
322
00:12:57.386 --> 00:12:58.588
And there she is.
323
00:12:58.608 --> 00:12:59.608
I have to do what I got to do.
324
00:12:59.809 --> 00:13:05.534
Well, our girl's here and we want to talk all things scam and ghost stories.
325
00:13:05.654 --> 00:13:12.179
So you, that's why we invited you because I think this is a territory we're not necessarily familiar with.
326
00:13:12.540 --> 00:13:13.120
That's good.
327
00:13:13.220 --> 00:13:17.104
So we want you to school us on what that looks like.
328
00:13:17.544 --> 00:13:17.824
Yes.
329
00:13:17.924 --> 00:13:21.925
Between scamming, ghosting, the differences, all the moving pieces.
330
00:13:22.545 --> 00:13:24.986
So tell us, first of all, how did you get the name?
331
00:13:26.166 --> 00:13:33.248
So I actually, the name was gifted to me from a friend of mine named Miles Gray, who has a podcast, The Daily Zeitgeist.
332
00:13:33.468 --> 00:13:37.049
And they ask you, like, what's in your search history, like, every time you go on.
333
00:13:37.269 --> 00:13:40.990
And for some reason, there was always some scam that I was looking up that I was interested in.
334
00:13:41.030 --> 00:13:42.451
And they started calling me the scam goddess.
335
00:13:42.471 --> 00:13:42.591
Yeah.
336
00:13:43.031 --> 00:13:47.775
And Scam Goddess was actually my own scam because I wanted to do a comedy podcast about current events.
337
00:13:47.815 --> 00:13:50.017
But at the time, they were like, the market's too saturated.
338
00:13:50.318 --> 00:13:50.898
We don't know you.
339
00:13:50.958 --> 00:13:51.779
We don't know the song.
340
00:13:52.199 --> 00:13:53.340
And so I was like, hmm.
341
00:13:53.621 --> 00:13:57.384
And true crime was blowing up, but it was mostly like, you know, murder.
342
00:13:57.444 --> 00:14:03.069
It's like people are, you know, listening to like a nice white lady get, you know, stabbed on a jog home or something.
343
00:14:03.089 --> 00:14:03.930
And I'm like, this is like,
344
00:14:04.430 --> 00:14:05.711
it gets to be too much.
345
00:14:05.811 --> 00:14:09.994
Like when I'm walking with my keys in between my fists, you know, everywhere, like I'm just a little too paranoid.
346
00:14:10.314 --> 00:14:12.776
But scams are fun because they're very unserious people.
347
00:14:12.816 --> 00:14:15.138
They wear costumes, they have accents.
348
00:14:15.158 --> 00:14:19.441
And I don't make fun of the victims of scams, but I have a lot of empathy for that.
349
00:14:19.801 --> 00:14:24.164
I believe everybody can get scammed because we all have needs and there's always somebody willing to prey on your needs.
350
00:14:24.384 --> 00:14:26.225
But a scammer, oh, I will laugh at you.
351
00:14:26.345 --> 00:14:28.327
And they are very just unserious people.
352
00:14:28.367 --> 00:14:32.650
And so the comedy kind of blended in and that was my Trojan horse into this industry.
353
00:14:32.970 --> 00:14:34.093
That's crazy.
354
00:14:34.133 -->
00:14:35.357
And how long have you been doing it?
355
00:14:35.718 --> 00:14:36.219
Six years.
356
00:14:37.202 --> 00:14:38.224
That's so interesting.
357
00:14:38.264 --> 00:14:41.353
And do you find the scams to get like more and more
358
00:14:41.995 --> 00:15:05.362
intriguing or do you like this is crazier or is it just repetitive same same we cover the gamut so people sometimes when they hear the word scam it's such a broad term they don't understand sometimes that scamming has different industries it's a profession it takes hard work so you could be in love fraud you could be in financial fraud you know running ponzi schemes you know bernie made off in it you could be in like
359
00:15:05.802 --> 00:15:07.183
Hand to interpersonal scams.
360
00:15:07.203 --> 00:15:10.525
Like you're calling people's phone, cold calling, telling them that this is the police.
361
00:15:10.565 --> 00:15:12.185
Go get me Walmart gift cards right now.
362
00:15:12.246 --> 00:15:13.186
Are we coming to pick you up?
363
00:15:13.206 --> 00:15:16.808
Like there's so many different ways to rob people that it keeps it interesting.
364
00:15:16.988 --> 00:15:18.469
And I like the scams of the past too.
365
00:15:18.509 --> 00:15:22.371
So sometimes we're talking about, you know, a stagecoach robbery in the 1800s.
366
00:15:22.391 --> 00:15:30.535
Or sometimes, you know, we're talking about the new AI frauds where they copy your voice and then call your grandparents and tell them you locked up and you need to send $1,500.
367
00:15:30.575 --> 00:15:31.996
So it's all over the place.
368
00:15:32.036 --> 00:15:33.077
It never gets boring.
369
00:15:33.097 --> 00:15:33.177
Wow.
370
00:15:34.142 --> 00:15:35.122
Unfortunately, it's crazy.
371
00:15:35.142 --> 00:15:36.363
I'm so intrigued by it.
372
00:15:36.403 --> 00:15:42.745
And then how do you do the research to figure out how the market, following the scam market?
373
00:15:43.145 --> 00:15:47.807
I mean, a lot of it comes to me and the people are really interested.
374
00:15:47.827 --> 00:15:52.149
They'll tag me in things or, you know, I'm looking myself because I'm deeply interested.
375
00:15:52.489 --> 00:15:54.610
It's very much not hard to find.
376
00:15:54.730 --> 00:15:55.090
Wow.
377
00:15:56.058 --> 00:15:58.179
Yes, I'm interested in some scammers who haven't gotten caught.
378
00:15:58.199 --> 00:16:04.243
But on my TV show, Scam Goddess on Hulu, I actually had the scary privilege to interview some scammers who were out of jail.
379
00:16:04.663 --> 00:16:08.865
And that was terrifying, like sitting down with a real sociopath and really like walking them down.
380
00:16:08.985 --> 00:16:13.968
But it's not hard to find because I call it the second oldest profession.
381
00:16:14.008 --> 00:16:15.669
People have been scamming since the beginning.
382
00:16:15.769 --> 00:16:16.770
You know what I mean?
383
00:16:16.870 --> 00:16:19.131
And doing the first profession too.
384
00:16:19.551 --> 00:16:24.894
Is there a story that you find the most intriguing or a scam that you was just like,
385
00:16:25.689 --> 00:16:27.931
took it over, like any specific one?
386
00:16:29.032 --> 00:16:32.015
It's so hard to choose between all of my children.
387
00:16:33.577 --> 00:16:39.022
But one that I really loved, it's actually the first episode on the Hulu show, is Rita Crundwell.
388
00:16:39.383 --> 00:16:48.532
She was a woman who worked in a small town in Dixon, Illinois, and she managed to siphon $53 million from this town.
389
00:16:48.612 --> 00:16:49.793
Like, made the town go broke.
390
00:16:50.193 --> 00:16:54.237
Because she had rich, she had charisma, she was a personality hire.
391
00:16:54.277 --> 00:16:59.661
She had been working at City Hall for so long, you know, since she was a teenager intern in there, that people trusted her.
392
00:16:59.761 --> 00:17:02.183
Eventually she became the treasurer and the comptroller.
393
00:17:02.424 --> 00:17:04.665
You are not supposed to have both of those jobs.
394
00:17:05.326 --> 00:17:07.488
That means you doing your own checks and balances.
395
00:17:07.508 --> 00:17:09.830
So who's really checking on the checks or the balances?
396
00:17:10.270 --> 00:17:11.131
Nobody.
397
00:17:11.331 --> 00:17:11.992
That's it.
398
00:17:12.653 --> 00:17:16.959
When I tell you the town was broke, they couldn't fix potholes.
399
00:17:16.979 --> 00:17:19.242
The ambulances were breaking down.
400
00:17:19.502 --> 00:17:20.904
She took everything.
401
00:17:20.984 --> 00:17:21.925
Did she get caught?
402
00:17:22.366 --> 00:17:25.511
She did it for 22 years before she got caught.
403
00:17:25.531 --> 00:17:26.993
22 of them things.
404
00:17:27.493 --> 00:17:27.974
Wow.
405
00:17:27.994 --> 00:17:28.775
And she's in prison.
406
00:17:28.795 --> 00:17:30.156
She had over 400 horses.
407
00:17:30.477 --> 00:17:31.758
Oh, no, she's already out.
408
00:17:31.778 --> 00:17:32.959
She got a COVID release.
409
00:17:32.999 --> 00:17:36.203
And then I love the audacity of her moving back to the same town.
410
00:17:36.303 --> 00:17:37.644
She lived there with her brother.
411
00:17:37.685 --> 00:17:38.285
Yes, she did.
412
00:17:38.305 --> 00:17:38.946
No, she did not.
413
00:17:38.986 --> 00:17:40.147
I was like, you are bold, ma'am.
414
00:17:40.167 --> 00:17:44.092
You robbed these people blind, and then you moved back like, hey, y'all, I'm back.
415
00:17:45.033 --> 00:17:46.975
That is actually...
416
00:17:47.415 --> 00:18:09.770
crazy yes she was like i'm no longer a guest of the state back in the city city girls up wait did you have the pleasure of speaking to her no we tried um but um they were really pushing me to like go to her house and i was like baby i'm not showing up to some white person's house unannounced okay y'all trying to get me shot i done counted three black people since i've been here and they were all with me yeah
417
00:18:11.271 --> 00:18:14.072
That is so crazy.
418
00:18:14.152
--> 00:18:15.633
That is actually so interesting.
419
00:18:15.653 --> 00:18:16.633
Now that I'm intrigued.
420
00:18:17.033 --> 00:18:17.313
Right?
421
00:18:17.393 --> 00:18:18.433
It's the audacity.
422
00:18:18.734 --> 00:18:23.775
But also, I think we can learn a lot from con artists, because I like to call them confidence artists, you know?
423
00:18:23.915 --> 00:18:24.975
Heavy on the CON.
424
00:18:25.316 --> 00:18:28.977
But, like, you don't have to feel like you don't belong in a room.
425
00:18:29.217 --> 00:18:35.779
Like, you can walk in and just treat it like this is the most ghetto shit you've ever seen in your life, and you will be shocked how people flock to you.
426
00:18:36.159 --> 00:18:41.423
And so I think we can all take something from the confidence of these people, you know, doing these ridiculous things.
427
00:18:42.064 --> 00:18:44.226
And, you know, that's what we can walk away with.
428
00:18:44.706 --> 00:18:50.651
And what have you seen the longest amount of time that someone has gotten doing a scam like criminal time?
429
00:18:51.777 --> 00:18:52.177
time.
430
00:18:52.297 --> 00:18:55.340
Like, I mean, people get consecutive years, like back to back to back.
431
00:18:55.560 --> 00:19:04.988
What's interesting to me, though, is that the people who do financial fraud tend to get longer sentences, especially if they do it to rich people.
432
00:19:05.068 --> 00:19:06.570
And I don't really think that's fair.
433
00:19:06.750 --> 00:19:09.052
Like, I think love fraud should have harsher sentences.
434
00:19:09.172 --> 00:19:14.457
I think that just because you rob rich people, like, that doesn't make that more egregious.
435
00:19:14.497 --> 00:19:16.619
You think love fraud should have more
436
00:19:17.983 --> 00:19:18.503
You do?
437
00:19:18.723 --> 00:19:19.664
I mean, it also involves money.
438
00:19:19.684 --> 00:19:21.405
I feel like you fell for it.
439
00:19:21.445 --> 00:19:24.367
See, that's where I have the empathy because everybody wants love.
440
00:19:24.527 --> 00:19:25.227
Okay, bud.
441
00:19:25.287 --> 00:19:29.590
I mean, we just saw that football man who walked around with that helmet a month or two ago.
442
00:19:29.610 --> 00:19:30.571
Insanity.
443
00:19:30.611 --> 00:19:31.831
And he had a prop.
444
00:19:32.132 --> 00:19:32.472
Insanity.
445
00:19:32.532 --> 00:19:33.693
I love that he had a prop.
446
00:19:33.853 --> 00:19:35.354
He said, I'm taking this everywhere.
447
00:19:35.394 --> 00:19:35.774
Yes.
448
00:19:36.254 --> 00:19:37.214
I bought myself one.
449
00:19:37.234 --> 00:19:38.475
I'm about to talk about it on my show.
450
00:19:38.735 --> 00:19:39.855
Why not get it off Amazon?
451
00:19:39.895 --> 00:19:41.436
I thought it was going to be like real size.
452
00:19:41.496 --> 00:19:41.976
It came in.
453
00:19:42.056 --> 00:19:42.936
It's like this big.
454
00:19:43.437 --> 00:19:45.457
So I just been telling people it shrunk in the wash.
455
00:19:45.617 --> 00:19:45.918
Right.
456
00:19:46.458 --> 00:19:47.918
I just sweated too much in the football.
457
00:19:47.938 --> 00:19:52.740
Yeah, I feel like love fraud is like you have to be in it to be a part of it.
458
00:19:52.800 --> 00:19:55.061
Whereas financial fraud is you're blindsided.
459
00:19:55.873 --> 00:19:56.874
Not necessarily.
460
00:19:57.034 --> 00:20:00.817
If it's a robbery, like this is a stick up, then yeah, you're blindsided.
461
00:20:00.937 --> 00:20:09.584
But financial fraud can be somebody pretending to have a lot of wealth or a lot of influence and being like, invest in this and this is how we're going to make the money and da-da-da-da-da.
462
00:20:09.884 --> 00:20:15.969
They can slow, like you got your Anna Delvey's, they can slowly walk you down the path and you have no idea.
463
00:20:15.989 --> 00:20:18.031
Yeah, that's so interesting.
464
00:20:19.410 --> 00:20:20.251
Having the audacity.
465
00:20:20.311 --> 00:20:21.472
That's all you got to do to be.
466
00:20:21.492 --> 00:20:22.073
Really?
467
00:20:22.093 --> 00:20:22.754
The audacity.
468
00:20:22.774 --> 00:20:24.355
We all need to have more audacity.
469
00:20:24.495 --> 00:20:24.876
Legally.
470
00:20:25.256 --> 00:20:25.696
Legally.
471
00:20:25.736 --> 00:20:25.997
Yes.
472
00:20:26.137 --> 00:20:26.918
Legal audacity.
473
00:20:27.158 --> 00:20:27.779
Audacity.
474
00:20:27.979 --> 00:20:28.960
I love that word though.
475
00:20:29.480 --> 00:20:30.601
I love some audacity.
476
00:20:31.843 --> 00:20:32.283
Okay.
477
00:20:32.303 --> 00:20:34.225
So tell us a little bit more.
478
00:20:34.265 --> 00:20:35.466
What do you think is crazier?
479
00:20:35.506 --> 00:20:38.950
The person who pulls off a scam or people who believe them?
480
00:20:39.827 --> 00:20:44.070
I'm absolutely going to say the person who pulls off the scam, but it's two folds for me.
481
00:20:44.430 --> 00:20:55.698
Like Savannah said, the audacity of it, I do enjoy because if a door is closed and we're all black women, you know, like doors have been closed in our faces because of how our skin tone and our gender.
482
00:20:56.058 --> 00:20:59.941
But sometimes scammers see a door closed and they start looking for a window.
483
00:21:00.281 --> 00:21:02.622
I'm like, I'm just crack that open and get my ass in there that way.
484
00:21:02.982 --> 00:21:04.703
And so I like the ingenuity.
485
00:21:05.163 --> 00:21:07.765
But on the other side, I don't like when people punch down.
486
00:21:07.785 --> 00:21:10.066
There's so many companies, our government is scamming us.
487
00:21:10.086 --> 00:21:13.227
There's so many ways to like scam from the people taken from you.
488
00:21:13.587 --> 00:21:14.408
I like to see that.
489
00:21:14.488 --> 00:21:18.069
But if you're stealing from people who need their money and stuff like that, I just don't appreciate it.
490
00:21:18.149 --> 00:21:21.851
So I'm never going to cause somebody who fell victim to a scam crazy.
491
00:21:21.891 --> 00:21:22.472
You
know what I mean?
492
00:21:22.532 --> 00:21:23.872
I just think that they were vulnerable.
493
00:21:24.172 --> 00:21:25.493
Or maybe they were really desperate.
494
00:21:25.513 --> 00:21:25.653
I'm
495
00:21:25.693 --> 00:21:28.154
I always tell people, analyze your desperation at the time.
496
00:21:28.234 --> 00:21:37.458
So, you know, if all your friends got married and then all of a sudden you start dating somebody and they got a toothbrush in your house, you know, two weeks in, now you got a homosexual on your hands.
497
00:21:37.738 --> 00:21:40.539
It's probably because you were lonely, you know?
498
00:21:40.679 --> 00:21:40.919
Yeah.
499
00:21:41.099 --> 00:21:41.919
No, that's so true.
500
00:21:42.199 --> 00:21:43.660
Homosexual in real time.
501
00:21:43.700 --> 00:21:44.160
It's a term.
502
00:21:44.180 --> 00:21:44.781
It's hilarious.
503
00:21:46.618 --> 00:21:53.021
Were you always good at spotting bullshit or were you scammed first and then you were like, oh, now I understand it?
504
00:21:53.361 --> 00:21:56.623
I mean, I started my book with, which is also called Scam Goddess.
505
00:21:56.643 --> 00:21:58.344
I keep the brand strong.
506
00:21:59.384 --> 00:22:01.305
But it started with, I went missing when I was five.
507
00:22:01.626 --> 00:22:02.046
LOL.
508
00:22:02.886 --> 00:22:03.987
I mean, obviously I got back.
509
00:22:05.107 --> 00:22:06.108
Nobody actually took me.
510
00:22:06.168 --> 00:22:08.808
I was just running around the city for a whole day as a five-year-old.
511
00:22:08.828 --> 00:22:09.409
A whole day?
512
00:22:09.589 --> 00:22:14.810
But I had so many interactions with people that I started to realize that everything is made up.
513
00:22:15.451 --> 00:22:18.712
And to navigate this world, you have to be creative.
514
00:22:18.732 --> 00:22:21.533
That's an interesting take.
515
00:22:21.733 --> 00:22:23.693
You over here dropping them gems on the people.
516
00:22:24.014 --> 00:22:26.574
I do think you have to be creative to navigate the world.
517
00:22:26.795 --> 00:22:28.035
And audacious.
518
00:22:28.355 --> 00:22:29.555
And have audacity.
519
00:22:30.176 --> 00:22:30.956
And confident.
520
00:22:31.056 --> 00:22:33.857
I think all of those are very much so skills.
521
00:22:34.438 --> 00:22:42.141
That you need to even, like I recently said this, but it takes one delusional person to have generational wealth.
522
00:22:42.261 --> 00:22:48.084
Like when you're trying to thrive for something, you got to want to do it and no one else has to believe.
523
00:22:48.518 --> 00:22:50.158
So I guess that's a scam too.
524
00:22:50.939 --> 00:22:53.279
If you believe it, you can convince others to believe it too.
525
00:22:53.439 --> 00:22:55.000
Like, I mean, I'm an actor, performer.
526
00:22:55.060 --> 00:22:56.960
All the stuff that I do is make them ups.
527
00:22:57.400 --> 00:23:00.041
I had to be real DeLulu to get people on board with this.
528
00:23:00.081 --> 00:23:01.962
I was like, y'all should just let me yap for a living.
529
00:23:02.042 --> 00:23:03.862
Or put me on screen and I'll yap your words.
530
00:23:04.142 --> 00:23:04.882
We like this?
531
00:23:04.922 --> 00:23:05.683
We all on board?
532
00:23:07.643 --> 00:23:08.163
I love it.
533
00:23:08.283 --> 00:23:09.303
I love it so much.
534
00:23:10.884 --> 00:23:11.984
What's up, everybody gang?
535
00:23:15.505 --> 00:23:17.526
So we've been talking about being cozied up with your man.
536
00:23:17.626 --> 00:23:20.789
And what better way to be cozied up than with a good set of PJs?
537
00:23:21.409 --> 00:23:22.330
And in the bed.
538
00:23:22.890 --> 00:23:25.972
I mean, I feel like I love to make my bed in the morning.
539
00:23:26.472 --> 00:23:27.973
I love to be cozy in my bed.
540
00:23:28.134 --> 00:23:29.074
I love a good sheet.
541
00:23:29.234 --> 00:23:30.435
I love a good blanket.
542
00:23:30.955 --> 00:23:33.697
I just bought some new pillowcases.
543
00:23:33.717 --> 00:23:34.518
Love that.
544
00:23:34.538 --> 00:23:35.939
But I also bought some new pillows.
545
00:23:36.585 --> 00:23:39.346
Okay, come on with the pillows because you're getting big.
546
00:23:39.466 --> 00:23:40.586
Yeah, I know.
547
00:23:40.626 --> 00:23:41.927
I was very proud of myself.
548
00:23:42.027 --> 00:23:43.587
You also have to set the ambiance.
549
00:23:43.627 --> 00:23:48.669
How about a good candle or diffuser or blanket to accent and set the tone?
550
00:23:49.049 --> 00:23:50.370
I feel like Quince has everything.
551
00:23:50.590 --> 00:23:52.070
They literally have everything.
552
00:23:52.210 --> 00:23:55.592
And that's what I like about being in a place where it's a one-stop shop.
553
00:23:55.712 --> 00:23:58.673
You can get everything for your home, something for you personally.
554
00:23:58.893 --> 00:23:59.693
Something for your man.
555
00:24:00.013 --> 00:24:01.273
Something for your family.
556
00:24:01.594 --> 00:24:02.494
So I just...
557
00:24:03.106 --> 00:24:06.908
feel like it's easy to go to places where you can shop and get it all done at once.
558
00:24:08.028 --> 00:24:10.549
Make your home a little bit more cozy this fall with Quince.
559
00:24:10.810 --> 00:24:11.770
Download the Quince app.
560
00:24:12.130 --> 00:24:13.531
Or go to Quince.com.
561
00:24:13.931 --> 00:24:18.153
You get free shipping on your orders and 365-day returns.
562
00:24:18.513 --> 00:24:20.774
Now available in Canada and the UK too.
563
00:24:21.374 --> 00:24:23.415
And when Quince asks, where have you heard about them?
564
00:24:23.675 --> 00:24:25.296
Just let them know it was everybody's crazy.
565
00:24:25.756 --> 00:24:27.237
It's the best way to support the show.
566
00:24:30.448 --> 00:24:30.989
It's crazy.
567
00:24:31.089 --> 00:24:31.509
All right.
568
00:24:31.529 --> 00:24:32.930
We're going to take a call.
569
00:24:34.252 --> 00:24:34.752
Hello.
570
00:24:35.152 --> 00:24:35.773
What's your name?
571
00:24:35.793 --> 00:24:36.454
Where are you from?
572
00:24:36.574 --> 00:24:37.575
And what is your crazy?
573
00:24:37.615 --> 00:24:41.338
And just to remind you, we have Lacey, scam goddess, here with us today.
574
00:24:42.018 --> 00:24:42.979
Hello.
575
00:24:43.700 --> 00:24:45.642
I'm so excited to be on with you guys.
576
00:24:45.842 --> 00:24:46.943
My name is Jen.
577
00:24:47.083 --> 00:24:47.603
I'm from Texas.
578
00:24:48.304 --> 00:24:49.065
Oh, I'm from Texas, too.
579
00:24:49.085 --> 00:24:49.625
Come on, dance.
580
00:24:49.745 --> 00:24:53.769
And I have a crazy scam that I witnessed.
581
00:24:54.510 --> 00:24:54.870
Mm-hmm.
582
00:24:55.533 --> 00:25:00.114
So I used this, I was really young, probably like 18, 19.
583
00:25:00.174 --> 00:25:05.596
I worked as a bank teller and I was a bank teller on a military base.
584
00:25:05.616 --> 00:25:11.598
And at the time, this was back in early 2000 where the war in Iraq was really active.
585
00:25:12.298 --> 00:25:14.239
So a lot of soldiers were deploying.
586
00:25:15.219 --> 00:25:18.460
So there was this one girl who would take the.
587
00:25:19.222 --> 00:25:27.066
a wife of a deployed soldier, befriend them because they're lonely, they're in a different state, you know, they're alone, basically.
588
00:25:27.126 --> 00:25:28.767
So befriend them.
589
00:25:29.007 --> 00:25:36.131
And at that time, also, the soldiers would get really big reenlistment bonuses because the war was so active.
590
00:25:36.151 --> 00:25:37.471
This was like in 2003.
591
00:25:38.052 --> 00:25:39.472
Nobody wanted to reenlist.
592
00:25:39.492 --> 00:25:46.796
So soldiers were reenlisting for bonuses 20, 30, 40,000 and up, depending your rank and time of service.
593
00:25:47.798 --> 00:25:51.982
this lady would find somebody who's about to reenlist.
594
00:25:52.503 --> 00:25:52.923
Was she cute?
595
00:25:52.943 --> 00:25:56.046
Was she cute?
596
00:25:56.066 --> 00:25:56.927
Did she dress nice?
597
00:25:57.928 --> 00:25:58.488
No.
598
00:25:58.849 --> 00:26:00.771
She just looked like a regular... Was she older?
599
00:26:01.451 --> 00:26:05.095
Did she have big boobs that people felt like they wanted to get a hug from her?
600
00:26:05.115 --> 00:26:06.516
Like some Oprah titties?
601
00:26:07.737 --> 00:26:09.339
I don't... She...
602
00:26:11.072 --> 00:26:11.793
I don't know how to say.
603
00:26:11.813 --> 00:26:14.054
She was like a regular white girl.
604
00:26:14.074 --> 00:26:14.935
Oh, okay.
605
00:26:15.195 --> 00:26:15.576
Okay.
606
00:26:16.276 --> 00:26:26.945
But she befriended this one particular wife and somehow conned her to change her direct deposit to her account, like, leave your husband.
607
00:26:27.305 --> 00:26:28.826
You don't know what he's doing over there.
608
00:26:28.866 --> 00:26:30.808
Like, I don't know, whatever she did.
609
00:26:31.949 --> 00:26:38.054
So the wife changed the direct deposit, thinking I'm going to go off in the wind with this woman.
610
00:26:38.074 --> 00:26:39.215
And...
611
00:26:40.415 --> 00:26:41.596
So she was a lesbian?
612
00:26:42.236 --> 00:26:43.737
At this, what did she say?
613
00:26:43.757 --> 00:26:44.298
Is she a lesbian?
614
00:26:44.438 --> 00:26:47.960
She's like, she thought they were going to go off together?
615
00:26:48.000 --> 00:26:49.261
I don't know if she was a lesbian.
616
00:26:49.441 --> 00:26:54.004
I think she played the part for, the point was to get this money.
617
00:26:54.727 --> 00:26:55.067
Right.
618
00:26:55.208 --> 00:26:57.510
Yeah, so she played every part.
619
00:26:57.530 --> 00:27:02.274
So I don't know if she really was a lesbian or she played lesbian or whatever the situation was.
620
00:27:02.354 --> 00:27:06.377
But she convinced a woman to change her husband's direct deposit.
621
00:27:06.778 --> 00:27:13.183
His enlistment bonus of like $30,000 goes into her new best friend's account.
622
00:27:13.644 --> 00:27:16.266
She waited there probably like three hours.
623
00:27:16.586 --> 00:27:21.250
That woman, whoever she did, she had never, ever, never seen her again.
624
00:27:21.270 --> 00:27:22.071
Yes, yes.
625
00:27:22.653 --> 00:27:24.875
That is crazy.
626
00:27:25.695 --> 00:27:31.380
But I feel like people, I feel like people, you could convince people when they're like, again, what are you saying?
627
00:27:31.440 --> 00:27:34.782
Vulnerable or lonely or something like that.
628
00:27:34.822 --> 00:27:35.543
People are nuts.
629
00:27:36.578 --> 00:27:38.879
I don't ever want to be that lonely and vulnerable in my life.
630
00:27:39.279 --> 00:27:40.139
Me neither.
631
00:27:40.419 --> 00:27:41.259
What?
632
00:27:41.319 --> 00:27:42.560
That's why you're not going to cry.
633
00:27:42.700 --> 00:27:44.380
That's why you got on this shit right now.
634
00:27:44.400 --> 00:27:45.801
You're never going to be that vulnerable.
635
00:27:46.021 --> 00:27:46.481
What?
636
00:27:46.581 --> 00:27:48.181
But sometimes people are down bad.
637
00:27:48.882 --> 00:27:50.602
And, you know, war is very dangerous.
638
00:27:50.662 --> 00:27:52.883
George Bush was doing all kinds of things at that time.
639
00:27:53.663 --> 00:27:55.884
I miss when journalists used to throw shoes at presidents.
640
00:27:57.804 --> 00:28:02.370
But like that woman came in and was like, hey, bestie, put all your money in my account.
641
00:28:02.830 --> 00:28:04.132
That's that's a little while.
642
00:28:04.633 --> 00:28:07.356
She wasn't like, bestie, let me help you set up an account.
643
00:28:07.776 --> 00:28:10.159
Oh, did you say anything to her?
644
00:28:10.319 --> 00:28:11.641
Did you say did you wink at it?
645
00:28:11.661 --> 00:28:12.402
Did you wave?
646
00:28:12.842 --> 00:28:14.504
They deployed about a year.
647
00:28:14.524 --> 00:28:17.408
They would be out there for about a year at a time at that time.
648
00:28:18.148 --> 00:28:39.327
and we forgot about this money the the wife the account the wife that switched her husband's direct deposit she would show up every day
we would pull up to work and we'd see we're like oh here's here go mrs so-and-so out the door you know we have to tell like we you like you can't get money out of somebody else's account that money was gone yeah that money was gone that money
649
00:28:40.352 --> 00:28:41.272
As soon as it hit.
650
00:28:41.633 --> 00:28:43.213
Yeah, it's out of there.
651
00:28:43.793 --> 00:28:44.914
Out of there.
652
00:28:45.134 --> 00:28:46.214
Oh, so devastating.
653
00:28:46.234 --> 00:28:54.017
So she just waiting at the bank every day like a kid with a deadbeat dad waiting outside for him to pick him up and take him to Disneyland.
654
00:28:54.357 --> 00:28:55.018
Damn.
655
00:28:55.138 --> 00:28:57.639
Okay, that was a crazy scam to experience.
656
00:28:57.999 --> 00:28:59.119
Thank you for calling us.
657
00:28:59.139 --> 00:29:00.840
Thank you for sharing, Dez.
658
00:29:01.160 --> 00:29:01.780
Of course.
659
00:29:01.820 --> 00:29:02.601
Thank you all.
660
00:29:03.121 --> 00:29:04.341
All righty, thank you.
661
00:29:04.902 --> 00:29:06.602
That is actually nuts.
662
00:29:07.303 --> 00:29:07.683
That is nuts.
663
00:29:14.263 --> 00:29:32.002
okay so since this is the halloween episode and we are going to be talking about ghost stories not in the literal sense though we're going to be talking about how people disappear and never come back those types of ghost stories i don't like those ghost stories what is the worst ghost story you've experienced
664
00:29:33.436 --> 00:29:34.057
Oh, man.
665
00:29:34.197 --> 00:29:36.660
I haven't really been ghosted.
666
00:29:36.680 --> 00:29:39.584
I think I would have appreciated it if somebody ghosted me.
667
00:29:39.924 --> 00:29:41.927
I've never been ghosted either, to be honest.
668
00:29:42.407 --> 00:29:42.788
Me neither.
669
00:29:43.789 --> 00:29:44.710
Well, obviously.
670
00:29:44.790 --> 00:29:47.293
Yeah, I'm about to say, is that only a dating thing?
671
00:29:47.714 --> 00:29:48.235
Could that...
672
00:29:48.715 --> 00:29:50.535
No, it's... That's just a people thing.
673
00:29:50.595 --> 00:29:51.696
Yeah, it's just a people thing.
674
00:29:51.916 --> 00:29:55.797
I think, like, sometimes people ghost because they want to skirt accountability.
675
00:29:55.837 --> 00:29:59.018
They don't want to have a difficult conversation about what they did.
676
00:29:59.278 --> 00:30:02.538
But then I think some people ghost because they're like, this isn't for me anymore.
677
00:30:02.819 --> 00:30:04.059
Have I ghosted?
678
00:30:04.339 --> 00:30:04.699
Yes.
679
00:30:05.479 --> 00:30:07.700
But, like, not in meaningful relationships.
680
00:30:07.780 --> 00:30:10.000
Maybe we went on one or two dates and you were weird.
681
00:30:10.160 --> 00:30:12.921
And then I was like, I don't need to explain to you why you're weird.
682
00:30:13.081 --> 00:30:15.342
I'm just going to get out of this situation.
683
00:30:15.522 --> 00:30:15.722
Bye.
684
00:30:15.742 --> 00:30:15.862
Yeah.
685
00:30:16.322 -->
00:30:16.542
Yeah.
686
00:30:17.142 --> 00:30:18.683
I do not like ghosts in anybody.
687
00:30:19.684 --> 00:30:19.824
No.
688
00:30:22.045 --> 00:30:25.127
But Lacey, do you feel like sometimes a ghost is necessary?
689
00:30:25.608 --> 00:30:26.048
Yes.
690
00:30:26.268 --> 00:30:31.572
Sometimes I feel like we have to remember that every minute and every second that we're breathing is valuable.
691
00:30:31.592 --> 00:30:32.192
Absolutely.
692
00:30:32.212 --> 00:30:39.897
And so why would I waste my time explaining something to somebody who may not even comprehend or if I know there's not a solution or resolution to the problem.
693
00:30:40.038 --> 00:30:40.198
Yeah.
694
00:30:40.238 --> 00:30:41.358
So we just yapping to yap?
695
00:30:41.759 --> 00:30:42.579
Like, for what?
696
00:30:42.599 --> 00:30:43.400
I agree with you.
697
00:30:43.840 --> 00:30:44.360
I agree with that.
698
00:30:44.481 --> 00:30:46.022
I struggle with this so bad.
699
00:30:46.042 --> 00:30:46.362
Yeah.
700
00:30:46.382 --> 00:30:46.542
Yeah.
701
00:30:46.742 --> 00:30:48.003
I went on a date once.
702
00:30:48.043 --> 00:30:49.024
It was our third date.
703
00:30:49.684 --> 00:30:52.867
And this man did not tell me that he had children until the third date.
704
00:30:53.247 --> 00:30:54.368
And he told me he had a daughter.
705
00:30:54.608 --> 00:30:56.309
And I was like, oh, how often do you see her?
706
00:30:56.629 --> 00:30:58.991
And he was like, oh, well, you know, here and there.
707
00:30:59.171 --> 00:31:01.053
I was like, oh, you are a deadbeat father.
708
00:31:01.073 --> 00:31:02.013
Like, my brain was just like.
709
00:31:04.055 --> 00:31:05.196
And I never spoke to that man again.
710
00:31:05.876 --> 00:31:11.080
But wouldn't it be advantageous at the end to say, I don't think this is for me.
711
00:31:12.901 --> 00:31:14.963
It's not my job to educate everybody.
712
00:31:15.750 --> 00:31:16.391
I'm tired.
713
00:31:16.692 --> 00:31:17.513
I'm very tired.
714
00:31:17.533 --> 00:31:17.953
I like that.
715
00:31:18.594 --> 00:31:19.075
I like that.
716
00:31:19.316 --> 00:31:23.562
Do you think being in scams, do you think that ghosting is an acceptable scam?
717
00:31:25.388 --> 00:31:31.633
Um, I mean, no, because what's used for in scams is like once people have bled you dry or used you up, then they leave.
718
00:31:31.733 --> 00:31:33.314
I would never do something like that.
719
00:31:33.454 --> 00:31:35.176
Like it's never a using way.
720
00:31:35.336 --> 00:31:40.980
Like I haven't done it very often, but like if I just realized like, you're not a good person or I don't want to be around this.
721
00:31:41.120 --> 00:31:42.261
I don't have to tell you that.
722
00:31:42.782 --> 00:31:43.482
Go live your life.
723
00:31:43.582 --> 00:31:44.823
It's not like it's going to change anything.
724
00:31:44.863 --> 00:31:49.327
I don't think if I had been like, you're not being a good father, he would have just like been a good dad.
725
00:31:49.427 --> 00:31:49.687
Okay.
726
00:31:50.047 --> 00:31:51.848
Yeah, like it wouldn't help.
727
00:31:51.888 --> 00:31:52.969
You know what I mean?
728
00:31:53.449 --> 00:31:58.392
But yeah, so but scammers do it because they're like, I've used you up and now, you know, there's nothing left.
729
00:31:58.452 --> 00:31:59.973
And so it's really ugly in that.
730
00:32:00.173 --> 00:32:06.057
But yeah, ghosting in relationships, I can understand how that specifically is harmful and hurtful to people.
731
00:32:06.457 --> 00:32:14.301
If it's like a meaningful thing, I'm talking about three dates, but like if we've been dating for months or, you know, hanging out or talking a lot and then you just disappear.
732
00:32:14.341 --> 00:32:17.062
I think that's really unfair to the other person and really selfish.
733
00:32:17.082 --> 00:32:19.603
So I do agree with you there, but I don't I don't think that's fair.
734
00:32:20.143 --> 00:32:20.784
That's not right.
735
00:32:21.104 --> 00:32:28.047
Yeah, I just I really struggle with it in general and just just letting things happen.
736
00:32:28.934 --> 00:32:47.986
fizzle without me being like this is not for me and this is why do you feel like i was about to say is it the why of it all for you do you feel like you're wondering if you're if you're ghosted no i'm not ghosted i mean i feel like i don't like you and this is why so so i just feel like telling you
737
00:32:52.021 --> 00:32:52.502
Okay.
738
00:32:53.524 --> 00:32:54.826
I feel like you should know.
739
00:32:55.587 --> 00:32:57.490
That's giving like you raggedy bitch.
740
00:32:57.590 --> 00:33:00.334
You got to get your one off before you leave.
741
00:33:00.414 --> 00:33:02.157
I just say like.
742
00:33:02.578 --> 00:33:03.439
You don't know how I feel.
743
00:33:03.579 --> 00:33:04.941
Listen, similar to that guy.
744
00:33:07.355 --> 00:33:09.576
I've had three dinners getting to know you.
745
00:33:10.137 --> 00:33:14.599
I just think it's very odd that you didn't feel the need to talk about your kids before this.
746
00:33:14.719 --> 00:33:18.221
And then on top of that, we don't share similar values.
747
00:33:18.541 --> 00:33:18.881
Yeah.
748
00:33:19.542 --> 00:33:20.042
And goodbye.
749
00:33:20.082 --> 00:33:20.982
Don't call my phone no more.
750
00:33:21.162 --> 00:33:21.423
Yeah.
751
00:33:22.143 --> 00:33:23.043
I mean, okay.
752
00:33:23.063 --> 00:33:23.624
Did he call you?
753
00:33:23.644 --> 00:33:23.704
No.
754
00:33:24.444 --> 00:33:25.184
No, I blocked him.
755
00:33:25.224 --> 00:33:26.245
I don't know if he called me or not.
756
00:33:26.265 --> 00:33:27.185
Oh, you blocked him.
757
00:33:27.225 --> 00:33:28.425
Yeah, that's how you ghost.
758
00:33:28.445 --> 00:33:29.146
That's how you ghost.
759
00:33:29.186 --> 00:33:30.786
You can't ghost without blocking.
760
00:33:30.826 --> 00:33:31.907
Not to be reached again.
761
00:33:31.927 --> 00:33:33.407
Yeah, that's the combo.
762
00:33:33.447 -->
00:33:36.488
You gotta, otherwise, how can you ghost if they can still find you?
763
00:33:36.508 --> 00:33:38.469
You gotta be like Casper.
764
00:33:38.489 --> 00:33:42.110
So you block him on the phone, social media, everything?
765
00:33:42.330 --> 00:33:42.590
Yeah.
766
00:33:43.111 --> 00:33:43.791
Oh my God.
767
00:33:44.791 --> 00:33:45.251
Oh, wow.
768
00:33:45.871 --> 00:33:46.332
Oh boy.
769
00:33:47.052 --> 00:33:47.312
Okay.
770
00:33:47.332 --> 00:33:48.672
It's not that hard you hit a few buttons.
771
00:33:51.037 --> 00:34:10.952
easy enough boom they make it so easy okay interesting all right i didn't know that i thought you just wouldn't just that's it no well then they can still reach you yeah yeah so you got to make sure it's up both ends that no one can be reached yeah wow that's very interesting
772
00:34:12.158 --> 00:34:13.999
I know you don't agree, but I appreciate your sentiment.
773
00:34:14.019 --> 00:34:15.180
We can agree to disagree.
774
00:34:15.200 --> 00:34:16.561
Like that's very interesting.
775
00:34:17.061 --> 00:34:19.522
You're like, hmm.
776
00:34:19.662 --> 00:34:22.404
I think I'm always so baffled, not even baffled.
777
00:34:22.464 --> 00:34:26.046
I just think that is a nice thing about perspective.
778
00:34:26.486 --> 00:34:27.227
Yeah.
779
00:34:27.567 --> 00:34:32.830
That's why I think me and Savannah have always been open to people, different perspectives.
780
00:34:33.050 --> 00:34:35.131
And that's what makes the world go round.
781
00:34:37.656 --> 00:34:43.439
I don't ghost anybody, so I wouldn't know that I would say what I say, but then I wouldn't turn around and block them.
782
00:34:43.479 --> 00:34:46.080
I'd just be like, all right, bye.
783
00:34:46.160 --> 00:34:46.921
Then what would be the point?
784
00:34:46.941 --> 00:34:48.682
Because I wouldn't go on everything and block them.
785
00:34:49.102 --> 00:34:49.402
Right.
786
00:34:49.922 --> 00:34:54.305
I think there is, I agree with you on one thing, and that's why I believe in so much nuance.
787
00:34:54.325 --> 00:34:55.245
Two things can be true.
788
00:34:55.405 --> 00:34:57.607
Like you can ghost and it'd be a good thing.
789
00:34:57.627 --> 00:35:04.392
And I feel like it's fine and moral and you can ghost and it can be a really ugly thing that you did to somebody that was unwarranted.
790
00:35:04.813 --> 00:35:06.574
So I think it depends on the relationship.
791
00:35:06.594 --> 00:35:08.916
I think it depends on how much time is invested.
792
00:35:09.256 --> 00:35:11.678
And it also depends on what you were trying to get from them.
793
00:35:11.698 --> 00:35:12.759
And like, did you go get that?
794
00:35:12.799 --> 00:35:14.000
And then you disappeared.
795
00:35:14.040 --> 00:35:14.861
Like, that's not right.
796
00:35:15.221 --> 00:35:16.322
Like, I don't agree with that at all.
797
00:35:16.662 --> 00:35:17.723
And a lot of people do that.
798
00:35:18.063 --> 00:35:19.965
You know, I do think that that happens.
799
00:35:25.419 --> 00:35:45.031
around like having sex with somebody and then never contacting them that's not right yeah that's insane yes that's the scam you know scam somebody out of their cookies right but i feel like maybe you didn't scam them i don't know anytime body parts enter one another i feel like you you could give me a phone call yeah you know yeah that's crazy so you go on a
800
00:35:48.798 --> 00:35:50.800
And then you decide... You having sex after two dates?
801
00:35:51.220 --> 00:35:51.480
Huh?
802
00:35:52.161 --> 00:35:53.181
Is that the standard now?
803
00:35:53.201 --> 00:35:53.782
I don't know.
804
00:35:54.522 --> 00:35:55.803
How long were the dates?
805
00:35:57.645 --> 00:35:58.525
I can't.
806
00:35:58.906 --> 00:35:59.646
No judgment.
807
00:35:59.686 --> 00:36:00.507
I'm just asking.
808
00:36:01.027 --> 00:36:01.508
I don't know.
809
00:36:01.548 --> 00:36:02.588
But I would think...
810
00:36:02.849 --> 00:36:06.131
I think in this day and age, maybe two dates is normal.
811
00:36:06.451 --> 00:36:06.691
Okay.
812
00:36:07.052 --> 00:36:08.993
And then were y'all talking a lot before?
813
00:36:09.013 --> 00:36:10.895
We were talking... Or maybe you just... We have sex.
814
00:36:11.455 --> 00:36:15.658
Now, you think... You think it doesn't work for you now.
815
00:36:16.659 --> 00:36:17.720
Are you ghosting him?
816
00:36:17.740 --> 00:36:17.800
No.
817
00:36:19.603 --> 00:36:28.225
No, I feel like if we've entered the physical realm, keeping it spooky, then no, I'm not going to ghost you for that.
818
00:36:28.525 --> 00:36:30.546
I'll tell you that this isn't going to work for me.
819
00:36:30.846 --> 00:36:32.647
Okay, okay.
820
00:36:32.687 --> 00:36:32.987
Yeah.
821
00:36:33.087 --> 00:36:34.827
And listen, I don't judge.
822
00:36:34.907 --> 00:36:38.128
I do judge, but secretly in my group chat, never publicly.
823
00:36:39.389 --> 00:36:42.772
So if you go on a date, you want to... You know, you're feeling the chemistry and the vibes.
824
00:36:42.792 --> 00:36:44.854
You want to go home and have a little fun.
825
00:36:44.894 --> 00:36:46.055
Like, that's your right.
826
00:36:46.115 --> 00:36:47.356
It's two consenting adults.
827
00:36:47.776 --> 00:36:48.096
Yeah.
828
00:36:48.236 --> 00:36:53.461
But I do think if you do do that, then like, yeah, you should probably... We should have a conversation.
829
00:36:53.501 --> 00:36:54.361
It doesn't have to be long.
830
00:36:55.202 --> 00:36:57.764
It could just be a text like, hey, I had a lovely time with you.
831
00:36:57.864 --> 00:36:59.426
Isn't that called a one-night stand?
832
00:37:00.667 --> 00:37:01.167
It depends.
833
00:37:01.227 --> 00:37:04.049
If you say you're going on dates, that's the intention to get to know someone and date them.
834
00:37:04.089 --> 00:37:04.310
No, no, no.
835
00:37:04.330 --> 00:37:05.751
But if you go on one date...
836
00:37:06.815 --> 00:37:08.336
And after one date, you have sex.
837
00:37:08.376 --> 00:37:09.897
I don't think a one-night stand requires a date.
838
00:37:09.917 --> 00:37:12.518
No, a one-night stand, you're both supposed to know that we're doing it.
839
00:37:12.958 --> 00:37:15.500
Because, like, then why would you even want to eat food before that?
840
00:37:15.520 --> 00:37:18.501
Yeah, I'm like, I don't think that that's a date involved.
841
00:37:18.721 --> 00:37:19.982
I think people go on a date.
842
00:37:20.602 --> 00:37:21.543
They have sex.
843
00:37:22.683 --> 00:37:25.045
And then the girl is confused.
844
00:37:25.666 --> 00:37:26.987
That's called a one-night scam.
845
00:37:27.408 --> 00:37:27.928
Okay?
846
00:37:28.529 --> 00:37:28.609
Oh.
847
00:37:28.629 --> 00:37:29.490
Okay, so that's not a...
848
00:37:29.850 --> 00:37:31.152
I think that's a one-night stand.
849
00:37:31.332 --> 00:37:33.234
No, because if we're giving you a kitchen...
850
00:37:33.254 --> 00:37:35.236
So now that you eat dinner, now that you eat dinner.
851
00:37:35.336 --> 00:37:38.819
A one-night stand is I meet you outside, and I...
852
00:37:39.832 --> 00:37:40.032
Mm-hmm.
853
00:37:40.292 --> 00:37:41.013
Because you're one of them.
854
00:37:41.634 --> 00:37:42.314
And we out of here.
855
00:37:42.454 --> 00:37:42.594
Mm-hmm.
856
00:37:43.295 --> 00:37:44.636
A date is not a one-night stand.
857
00:37:44.656 --> 00:37:45.036
That's a date.
858
00:37:45.056 --> 00:37:52.142
I think a date is I meet you on Raya or whatever people are on because I don't got no social dating apps, but okay.
859
00:37:52.482 --> 00:37:53.483
I meet you on the app.
860
00:37:54.124 --> 00:37:55.505
I say, let's go for a coffee.
861
00:37:55.545 --> 00:37:56.626
We go for a coffee.
862
00:37:56.646 --> 00:37:57.787
Then we go get naked.
863
00:37:57.847 --> 00:37:59.508
And then I say, ha-ha, bye-bye.
864
00:38:00.229 --> 00:38:01.610
What time of day you having this coffee?
865
00:38:01.630 --> 00:38:01.750
Yeah.
866
00:38:03.950 --> 00:38:04.931
Well, I was unemployed.
867
00:38:04.951 --> 00:38:08.135
That's why I took your broke ass for coffee because I ain't have no money.
868
00:38:08.155 --> 00:38:10.378
We weren't going to dinner ever.
869
00:38:10.498 --> 00:38:11.819
Oh, my gosh.
870
00:38:11.960 --> 00:38:13.441
I think that's happening for real.
871
00:38:14.142 --> 00:38:14.423
I do.
872
00:38:14.503 --> 00:38:15.003
It's for sure happening.
873
00:38:15.023 --> 00:38:17.446
Okay, maybe if you're doing it at 10 a.m. after the Starbucks.
874
00:38:17.466 --> 00:38:18.427
No, I said we went for coffee.
875
00:38:18.447 --> 00:38:19.168
We went at noon.
876
00:38:19.188 --> 00:38:19.809
Okay.
877
00:38:20.169 --> 00:38:20.990
Okay, well, then maybe that.
878
00:38:21.010 --> 00:38:22.172
And then I said take a half a day.
879
00:38:23.805 --> 00:38:28.387
That, to me, contextually, doesn't feel like y'all were going on a date.
880
00:38:28.427 --> 00:38:32.969
Like, in this scenario, it doesn't feel like you're going on a date with the
intention to get to know the person.
881
00:38:33.029 --> 00:38:33.930
If you're like, let's get coffee.
882
00:38:33.950 --> 00:38:35.110
A coffee date?
883
00:38:35.130 --> 00:38:41.253
No, but if you meet and you have a brief conversation and you're like, let's go get coffee real quick, I feel like that is you both sizing each other up.
884
00:38:41.293 --> 00:38:42.594
Like, are you a murderer?
885
00:38:42.814 --> 00:38:47.656
Well, yeah, because you met them on an app, so you got to go get coffee to sniff it out, I think.
886
00:38:48.096 --> 00:38:48.917
You know I love coffee.
887
00:38:51.977 --> 00:38:53.218
She said, you know I love coffee.
888
00:38:53.258 --> 00:38:54.959
I'm sitting here as one.
889
00:38:55.079 --> 00:38:55.499
Okay.
890
00:38:55.979 --> 00:38:56.279
Okay.
891
00:38:56.580 --> 00:38:58.040
Well, we asked for your ghost stories.
892
00:38:58.281 --> 00:39:02.503
So we have a crazy on paper edition for y'all.
893
00:39:02.523 --> 00:39:04.284
So let's get it.
894
00:39:04.304 --> 00:39:04.844
So let me...
895
00:39:04.864 --> 00:39:05.925
Behind Dolly here.
896
00:39:06.305 --> 00:39:08.847
You're going to be responsible to read, Lacey, because you're giving...
897
00:39:09.783 --> 00:39:34.337
professional voice oh we got multiple ghosts first we got multiple stories this is taking me back to like blues clues i'd be like i just got a letter i just got a letter i do i love mess because i love crazy that's why i'm here that's like everybody's crazy say laugh my community
898
00:39:35.117 --> 00:39:36.498
So this says, hi, ladies.
899
00:39:36.639 --> 00:39:40.883
I'm so happy to see that this topic you're talking about to discuss.
900
00:39:40.943 --> 00:39:42.304
Okay, I'm reading it as you wrote it.
901
00:39:42.404 --> 00:39:45.107
But okay, I'm going to try to work on the grammar as you go.
902
00:39:45.867 --> 00:39:47.349
So I recently met a guy.
903
00:39:47.409 --> 00:39:49.351
We started interacting on social media.
904
00:39:49.451 --> 00:39:52.373
And unlike most men, he came with action.
905
00:39:53.234 --> 00:39:54.255
I flew to him.
906
00:39:54.455 --> 00:39:57.338
Okay, that don't sound like action.
907
00:39:57.378 --> 00:39:58.019
I'm walking with you.
908
00:39:58.039 --> 00:39:59.080
I'm going to hold your hand.
909
00:39:59.140 --> 00:39:59.300
Okay.
910
00:39:59.640 --> 00:40:05.862
We went on a date and we had S-E-X on the first night for the first time.
911
00:40:05.882 --> 00:40:06.562
No joke.
912
00:40:07.482 --> 00:40:07.862
Okay.
913
00:40:07.982 --> 00:40:08.462
Okay.
914
00:40:08.562 --> 00:40:09.043
He was right.
915
00:40:09.503 --> 00:40:20.326
For a very long time, I wanted to be the good girl, but that night the bad one just kind of came out and I couldn't keep her tucked away anymore.
916
00:40:20.966 --> 00:40:24.847
Sideways laughing emoji, covering my mouth emoji.
917
00:40:24.987 --> 00:40:25.227
Okay.
918
00:40:25.247 --> 00:40:25.867
You're a millennial.
919
00:40:27.369 -->
00:40:51.883
I know my people I like the way he moved talked, treated me it felt good but he has six kids and I believe four baby mamas and I have zero kids so initially I wasn't going for the plot babes, you should have closed the book at that I do believe in you if you don't have kids I'm just getting through it I'm going to let you go girl
920
00:40:52.263 --> 00:40:53.944
So I went a second time.
921
00:40:54.104 --> 00:40:56.485
We just went on a date and cuddled, no sex.
922
00:40:56.645 --> 00:41:00.287
Vibe was chill, but I noticed that we didn't talk at all after that.
923
00:41:00.708 --> 00:41:04.249
Maybe a little text or IG convo, but nothing of substance.
924
00:41:04.670 --> 00:41:08.972
Third time, chill vibe, no date, movies, cuddles, and really good sex.
925
00:41:09.252 --> 00:41:13.755
I've always been the type that felt more comfortable having sex in clothing, but he got me out of it.
926
00:41:14.095 --> 00:41:17.517
And after, he just held me like I was a precious being.
927
00:41:18.437 --> 00:41:23.600
Fast forward a few weeks later, just a bunch of small talk, no phone conversations, nothing.
928
00:41:23.961 --> 00:41:26.102
Conversation on IG even got shorter.
929
00:41:26.162 --> 00:41:31.846
So I reached out like, hey, is this casual or are you in a space where we can communicate and see each other more?
930
00:41:31.966 --> 00:41:33.346
Either way, no hard feelings.
931
00:41:33.406 --> 00:41:33.927
Let me know.
932
00:41:34.307 --> 00:41:40.210
He never texts me back, in all caps, but was still watching me on Instagram and whatnot.
933
00:41:40.290 --> 00:41:44.812
So I eventually removed him as a follower and unfollowed him because I felt like that was immature.
934
00:41:45.192 --> 00:41:47.073
I think ghosting overall is immature.
935
00:41:47.153 --> 00:41:50.095
I think people should be mature enough to say, I'm not feeling this.
936
00:41:50.135 --> 00:41:52.816
I'm not ready for this or whatever it is that they're feeling.
937
00:41:53.056 --> 00:41:55.117
But clearly, everybody's crazy.
938
00:41:55.157 --> 00:41:56.538
That's what I'm saying.
939
00:41:56.938 --> 00:41:58.859
Mind you, he's six years older than me.
940
00:41:58.939 --> 00:42:00.720
I expected more from him.
941
00:42:02.296 --> 00:42:06.057
And this says from, I'm not going to say your name, just in case you want to be anonymous.
942
00:42:06.117 --> 00:42:07.017
And it says, love y'all.
943
00:42:08.117 --> 00:42:08.717
That's to y'all.
944
00:42:09.778 --> 00:42:11.618
Well, that goes directly into what you were saying.
945
00:42:11.638 --> 00:42:12.298
Let's call her Needy.
946
00:42:12.318 --> 00:42:13.318
Okay.
947
00:42:13.838 --> 00:42:14.398
Scandal.
948
00:42:15.139 --> 00:42:16.979
So how do you feel about Needy?
949
00:42:17.259 --> 00:42:19.379
It was all wrong.
950
00:42:20.540 --> 00:42:20.880
Yeah.
951
00:42:22.280 --> 00:42:23.560
I have so many questions.
952
00:42:23.600 --> 00:42:25.081
Did you fly there yourself?
953
00:42:25.301 --> 00:42:26.441
Did he fly you there?
954
00:42:26.961 --> 00:42:28.141
Do you do fly out?
955
00:42:28.321 --> 00:42:29.802
It says I flew to him.
956
00:42:29.842 --> 00:42:30.842
That's not giving flew down.
957
00:42:30.862 --> 00:42:31.882
Yeah, that's not giving flew out.
958
00:42:32.652 --> 00:42:32.992
Okay.
959
00:42:33.033 --> 00:42:34.754
I flued it out with a D. Yeah.
960
00:42:34.774 --> 00:42:35.054
Flued.
961
00:42:35.855 --> 00:42:41.159
And I'm not judging that because, like, as a woman with disposable income, sometimes I want what I want.
962
00:42:41.179 --> 00:42:44.001
But I have had to learn that you teach people how to treat you.
963
00:42:44.101 --> 00:42:50.526
And even if I'm impatient and I want something immediately, the other person might be like, why is she so desperate?
964
00:42:50.566 --> 00:42:52.128
And then they look at you differently.
965
00:42:52.248 --> 00:42:55.891
Like, you really do have to guard yourself like a fortress, like a vault.
966
00:42:55.951 --> 00:42:58.352
Like, I don't even think about dates anymore.
967
00:42:58.493 --> 00:43:01.255
Like, oh, I hope that this person likes me.
968
00:43:01.615 --> 00:43:03.297
I go on a date, which is very rare.
969
00:43:03.337 --> 00:43:05.400
I'm going to start again.
970
00:43:05.420 --> 00:43:05.700
Me too.
971
00:43:05.760 --> 00:43:09.104
But now if I'm interacting with someone, I'm like, I hope I like them.
972
00:43:10.170 --> 00:43:14.675
Like, I hope that this is a nice situation where I get along with them and I like them.
973
00:43:15.175 --> 00:43:17.017
And I think that changes your perspective on it.
974
00:43:17.057 --> 00:43:20.620
So I agree that her getting ghosted like this was really messed up.
975
00:43:20.721 --> 00:43:25.225
But baby, he got six kids and four baby mamas.
976
00:43:26.006 --> 00:43:29.469
I think it was the first date was a challenge.
977
00:43:29.489 --> 00:43:31.912
But I also don't think people know people.
978
00:43:32.930 --> 00:43:34.291
People don't get to know people.
979
00:43:34.692 --> 00:43:36.573
So you don't really know what you're dealing with.
980
00:43:36.633 --> 00:43:41.658
I don't think in actuality you could be married to somebody for 40 years and may not know them.
981
00:43:42.378 --> 00:43:45.201
I think to get to know somebody does take time and effort.
982
00:43:45.641 --> 00:43:48.884
But I feel like everyone takes a book by its cover.
983
00:43:49.064 --> 00:43:50.926
And I think people are so layered.
984
00:43:51.166 --> 00:43:51.406
Yeah.
985
00:43:51.826 --> 00:43:53.287
And we're all so exhausted.
986
00:43:53.728 --> 00:43:55.649
Like you, like dating is a job.
987
00:43:55.669 --> 00:43:58.050
When I go to people's weddings, I really celebrate.
988
00:43:58.131 --> 00:44:00.792
I don't think it's like an overzealous party or anything like that.
989
00:44:00.852 --> 00:44:02.273
I think that love is really hard work.
990
00:44:02.293 --> 00:44:05.755
And if you find
somebody that y'all love each other so much, you want to get the government involved.
991
00:44:05.895 --> 00:44:10.118
I'm going to be there celebrating, throwing rose petals, helping out in whatever way I can.
992
00:44:10.138 --> 00:44:13.360
I think it's really beautiful, but we have to bring back yearning.
993
00:44:13.720 --> 00:44:15.021
Well, we just talked about that.
994
00:44:15.081 --> 00:44:18.684
We were, we were just recently talking about, cause I just learned what a simp was.
995
00:44:18.924 --> 00:44:19.204
Mm-hmm.
996
00:44:19.384 --> 00:44:22.649
So we were talking about simps and pygmies.
997
00:44:22.950 --> 00:44:23.371
Yes.
998
00:44:23.451 --> 00:44:31.544
And like the fact that that's like a thing and it's taking away the yearning and it's taking away like the, the feeling of being okay with wanting somebody or.
999
00:44:32.028 --> 00:44:32.669
Somebody want you.
1000
00:44:32.809 --> 00:44:35.131
And dreaming about it for a little bit.
1001
00:44:35.191 --> 00:44:38.454
Like, we have an economy where we get things so quickly now.
1002
00:44:38.514 --> 00:44:41.857
You don't even have to leave your house to get groceries, medicine, anything.
1003
00:44:41.897 --> 00:44:42.217
You know?
1004
00:44:42.518 --> 00:44:43.599
Everything is on demand.
1005
00:44:43.679 --> 00:44:44.519
Everything costs.
1006
00:44:44.599 --> 00:44:45.800
Everything has an app, right?
1007
00:44:45.821 --> 00:44:45.921
Yeah.
1008
00:44:46.261 --> 00:44:46.942
Even dating.
1009
00:44:47.302 --> 00:44:48.543
But, you know, I don't know.
1010
00:44:48.563 --> 00:44:52.867
We got to bring back, like, men wearing leather in the summer and dancing in the rain.
1011
00:44:53.147 --> 00:44:53.888
And, you know...
1012
00:44:54.508 --> 00:45:01.812
And women writing like the last name of the person that they just met in their diary over and over before they even have sex with them.
1013
00:45:01.912 --> 00:45:02.933
I love it.
1014
00:45:03.433 --> 00:45:04.273
What do we think?
1015
00:45:04.313 --> 00:45:06.955
Do we think one night stands are a scam?
1016
00:45:07.995 --> 00:45:09.316
Not if both people know what it is.
1017
00:45:09.356 --> 00:45:09.996
I don't think so.
1018
00:45:10.156 --> 00:45:10.456
Yeah.
1019
00:45:11.737 --> 00:45:13.858
But I think that this wasn't a one night stand situation.
1020
00:45:13.878 --> 00:45:14.639
I think that was a scam.
1021
00:45:14.839 --> 00:45:17.460
Like if you go through TSA, this ain't no one night stand.
1022
00:45:18.000 --> 00:45:18.441
Yeah, no.
1023
00:45:18.601 --> 00:45:21.042
I don't think you know if it is a one night stand.
1024
00:45:22.005 --> 00:45:24.048
You not flew out for a one night stand.
1025
00:45:24.108 --> 00:45:26.531
I think a lot of people are flown out for a one night stand.
1026
00:45:26.571 --> 00:45:28.534
Yeah, but that's, they were flown out.
1027
00:45:28.694 --> 00:45:29.556
She did the flight.
1028
00:45:29.856 --> 00:45:30.417
She flew.
1029
00:45:30.617 --> 00:45:32.059
Yeah, because she was curious.
1030
00:45:32.580 --> 00:45:32.840
Yeah.
1031
00:45:33.922 --> 00:45:34.162
Right.
1032
00:45:34.322 --> 00:45:34.583
So I think.
1033
00:45:34.603 --> 00:45:35.724
Well, also flying is a mode of transportation.
1034
00:45:35.744 --> 00:45:36.766
But is there something wrong with that?
1035
00:45:38.822 --> 00:45:39.723
I, listen.
1036
00:45:39.803 --> 00:45:41.605
Did she scam herself is what I'm asking.
1037
00:45:41.625 --> 00:45:43.987
Like, is it an internal scam?
1038
00:45:44.147 --> 00:45:45.228
I think it is.
1039
00:45:45.889 --> 00:45:50.793
Like you tell me sometimes things, it's a little fairy tale, a little Disney for me.
1040
00:45:52.074 --> 00:45:53.515
Maybe that was the case.
1041
00:45:53.535 --> 00:45:58.320
Because after the first date, it was not, first of all, they had sex on the first date.
1042
00:45:58.400 --> 00:46:00.241
And then he was kind of like, all right, you can go home.
1043
00:46:00.561 --> 00:46:02.223
So she probably was there one day too long.
1044
00:46:02.843 --> 00:46:04.544
That's what I take from the first scenario.
1045
00:46:05.024 --> 00:46:13.447
Then she goes back, but you don't go, you don't get to know the person while, like when I've dated somebody in another city, they be like, I gotta see you.
1046
00:46:13.507 --> 00:46:15.228
Come on, fly, see me.
1047
00:46:15.268 --> 00:46:16.509
Like you talking to him every day.
1048
00:46:16.549 --> 00:46:18.409
Like she barely spoke to him.
1049
00:46:18.429 --> 00:46:19.290
Then she went back.
1050
00:46:20.190 --> 00:46:29.254
Then if I'm flying somewhere to see somebody that I already slept with and I fly there and we don't sleep together again, I'm gone.
1051
00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:32.301
So I was dead at the second date.
1052
00:46:33.042 --> 00:46:39.906
I think she probably thought that that was meaning that he was intentional about her and not just her body.
1053
00:46:39.966 --> 00:46:40.267
Yeah.
1054
00:46:40.307 --> 00:46:41.608
No, he wasn't interested anymore.
1055
00:46:41.908 --> 00:46:42.088
Yeah.
1056
00:46:42.108 --> 00:46:42.788
Getting to know her.
1057
00:46:42.989 --> 00:46:44.910
She went and flew again and he was done.
1058
00:46:45.130 --> 00:46:46.351
He was done after the first time.
1059
00:46:46.371 --> 00:46:47.371
So is this a self scam?
1060
00:46:47.391 --> 00:46:48.092
Is that a real thing?
1061
00:46:48.112 --> 00:46:48.352
Yeah.
1062
00:46:48.392 --> 00:46:52.275
She should have been more self-aware and you weren't aligned with his values because he had six kids.
1063
00:46:52.535 --> 00:46:54.316
So then you're just going to keep going back and flying there.
1064
00:46:54.396 --> 00:46:55.157
Get yourself together.
1065
00:46:55.177 --> 00:46:55.557
Yeah.
1066
00:46:55.717 --> 00:46:57.058
I mean, but I'm not judging.
1067
00:46:57.139 --> 00:46:57.999
I'm not judging.
1068
00:46:58.019 --> 00:46:59.301
She wants love.
1069
00:46:59.481 --> 00:47:00.482
I have empathy
for this.
1070
00:47:00.562 --> 00:47:01.183
You gotta figure out.
1071
00:47:01.303 --> 00:47:01.743
I agree.
1072
00:47:01.783 --> 00:47:05.667
I have done some silly stuff that would have made my grandma roll in a grave if she knew.
1073
00:47:05.947 --> 00:47:11.233
No, I think it is okay to want love, but also be realistic.
1074
00:47:11.393 --> 00:47:15.216
My thing is between the first date and the second date, there was minimal communication.
1075
00:47:15.877 --> 00:47:21.278
So if you don't really know who you are getting to know, then you want to just keep flying there.
1076
00:47:21.458 --> 00:47:23.839
And you think getting to know them in person is going to be easier?
1077
00:47:24.339 --> 00:47:27.680
That's the really difficult thing about having sex sometimes.
1078
00:47:27.820 --> 00:47:29.220
And I don't think it's gendered.
1079
00:47:29.260 --> 00:47:32.201
People always want to say it's just women who like- No, no, no, no, no, no.
1080
00:47:32.341 --> 00:47:37.322
I know some, I know some women who could turn you out and leave you singing in the rain.
1081
00:47:37.762 --> 00:47:38.083
So-
1082
00:47:40.183 --> 00:47:45.147
But for some people, it is, like, such an emotional, like, connection.
1083
00:47:45.247 --> 00:47:51.232
And so at that point, doing it too early, you're not even seeing that person for who they were for real.
1084
00:47:51.292 --> 00:47:53.274
Like, now you have rose-colored glasses on.
1085
00:47:53.374 --> 00:47:56.817
And you're not realizing that communication, like, it costs nothing.
1086
00:47:56.897 --> 00:47:58.619
If they wanted to, they would.
1087
00:47:59.019 --> 00:48:04.984
So if you can't even, if you hearten a DM response on Instagram, that's the conversation that we're having.
1088
00:48:05.144 --> 00:48:06.125
Like, yeah, you're right.
1089
00:48:06.185 --> 00:48:08.387
It was, like, at that point, you have to cut your losses.
1090
00:48:08.407 --> 00:48:08.647
Yeah.
1091
00:48:08.727 --> 00:48:09.608
But it's hard.
1092
00:48:09.848 --> 00:48:10.448
It is hard.
1093
00:48:10.548 --> 00:48:15.312
I have a lot of empathy because I don't feel like people truly want to be vulnerable.
1094
00:48:15.892 --> 00:48:21.576
I think people are looking for a fast dopamine rush and they're looking for it on their terms.
1095
00:48:21.716 --> 00:48:33.444
And when someone allows that to happen and they're continually making themselves available, like she flew there the first time, he could have flew here or flew to her, wherever here is, but flew to her.
1096
00:48:33.874 --> 00:48:36.615
the second time, like to want to get to know somebody.
1097
00:48:36.715 --> 00:48:43.018
I just think you have to be, Savannah says it to me all the time, but I think there is a, there is a reality to certain things.
1098
00:48:43.558 --> 00:48:48.660
Well, I just hope Didi can take into account that like, he got four baby mamas and six kids.
1099
00:48:48.841 --> 00:48:55.043
Do you know how many like text messages and phone calls and windows getting bust out of his car probably on a weekly basis?
1100
00:48:55.083 --> 00:48:57.724
Cause he doesn't sound like a, it sounds like a love bomber.
1101
00:48:58.385 --> 00:48:59.525
And he doesn't sound like a girl.
1102
00:48:59.565 --> 00:49:03.807
I just think after maybe the second baby mama, you get a vasectomy.
1103
00:49:04.007 --> 00:49:05.949
Or, you know, your wear protection.
1104
00:49:06.370 --> 00:49:07.611
You know, he did too much.
1105
00:49:08.472 --> 00:49:10.875
It's like that Ayanna video where she had that man on.
1106
00:49:10.915 --> 00:49:11.856
Oh, she was so funny.
1107
00:49:12.296 --> 00:49:12.977
And she had a man.
1108
00:49:12.997 --> 00:49:14.338
He had like 20 kids.
1109
00:49:14.379 --> 00:49:15.860
And she gave him a bunch of baby dolls.
1110
00:49:16.100 --> 00:49:18.883
And she was like, see, you can't even hold all of these kids.
1111
00:49:19.104 --> 00:49:21.146
And then the camera pans to one baby doll on the ground.
1112
00:49:21.526 --> 00:49:21.686
Yeah.
1113
00:49:22.824 --> 00:49:24.385
It's like, that's what you were doing with, girl.
1114
00:49:24.405 --> 00:49:25.066
So yeah, he ghosted.
1115
00:49:25.086 --> 00:49:26.527
But I think this was a blessing.
1116
00:49:26.787 --> 00:49:27.888
He needed to ghost you.
1117
00:49:27.928 --> 00:49:29.550
What if you became baby mama in a vibe?
1118
00:49:29.650 --> 00:49:30.991
No, it was, thank God.
1119
00:49:31.311 --> 00:49:31.651
Yeah.
1120
00:49:31.671 --> 00:49:33.533
Dee Dee, go live your best life.
1121
00:49:33.693 --> 00:49:34.814
I wouldn't call it a scam.
1122
00:49:34.854 --> 00:49:35.875
I call it a lesson.
1123
00:49:36.936 --> 00:49:39.137
And put some boundaries in front of it in the future.
1124
00:49:39.558 --> 00:49:39.918
Yeah.
1125
00:49:40.178 --> 00:49:40.479
All right.
1126
00:49:40.979 --> 00:49:41.559
What's she say?
1127
00:49:42.820 --> 00:49:44.121
Given she scammed herself.
1128
00:49:44.622 --> 00:49:45.483
She scammed herself.
1129
00:49:45.523 --> 00:49:45.803
Yeah.
1130
00:49:46.083 --> 00:49:46.423
To me.
1131
00:49:47.144 --> 00:49:47.784
That's what I think.
1132
00:49:47.804 --> 00:49:48.205
I don't know.
1133
00:49:48.225 --> 00:49:48.405
Yeah.
1134
00:49:48.828 --> 00:49:50.310
I feel like, agreed.
1135
00:49:51.030 --> 00:49:52.372
Okay, so we're going to play a little game.
1136
00:49:52.452 --> 00:49:52.672
Okay.
1137
00:49:53.032 --> 00:49:54.734
It's called Lesser Mess, ladies.
1138
00:49:55.415 --> 00:50:01.641
So, someone who ghosts you completely or someone who texts you just enough to keep you interested.
1139
00:50:02.262 --> 00:50:03.443
What's Lesser Mess?
1140
00:50:04.084 --> 00:50:04.564
Ghost me.
1141
00:50:06.066 --> 00:50:06.346
Ghost.
1142
00:50:07.607 --> 00:50:08.608
Because don't keep popping up.
1143
00:50:08.688 --> 00:50:09.089
Ghost me.
1144
00:50:09.129 --> 00:50:10.090
Playing with my emotions.
1145
00:50:10.110 --> 00:50:10.510
Yes, yes, yes.
1146
00:50:10.570 --> 00:50:11.091
Don't do that.
1147
00:50:12.112 --> 00:50:12.472
Ghost me.
1148
00:50:13.995 --> 00:50:16.278
I don't like that, but I agree.
1149
00:50:17.820 --> 00:50:23.367
A friend who never pays you back or a friend who pays you back and remind you every favor they've ever done.
1150
00:50:23.387 --> 00:50:24.929
Don't pay me back.
1151
00:50:24.949 --> 00:50:25.630
Don't pay me back.
1152
00:50:26.458 --> 00:50:30.039
Um, I'll take the reminder of every favor that they've ever done.
1153
00:50:30.059 --> 00:50:31.859
Cause I'll just say, thank you.
1154
00:50:32.379 --> 00:50:39.621
Cause, cause sometimes when my mom always says like, you never loan people money more willing, more money than you're not willing to ever see again.
1155
00:50:40.061 --> 00:50:43.102
So I'm not necessarily petty, but I don't know.
1156
00:50:43.122 --> 00:50:44.422
It might bother me a little bit.
1157
00:50:44.482 --> 00:50:50.604
If you, if you say you want it to be alone, cause sometimes I've lent friends or giving friends money and I was like, this isn't a loan.
1158
00:50:50.924 --> 00:50:51.424
Go with God.
1159
00:50:51.704 --> 00:50:52.424
Hope this works out.
1160
00:50:52.744 --> 00:50:53.764
And that's typically what I do.
1161
00:50:53.844 --> 00:50:55.965
Cause I don't want to be, I'm not the bank manager.
1162
00:50:56.105 --> 00:50:56.205
Yeah.
1163
00:50:56.405 --> 00:51:06.011
But like if you promise this alone, you say all this and then every time I see you get coffee, getting your nails done, I see you paying a parking meter and I'd be like, that was my 25 cents.
1164
00:51:06.311 --> 00:51:07.992
Like that would bother me.
1165
00:51:08.072 --> 00:51:10.754
I'm going to say keep it because.
1166
00:51:12.015 --> 00:51:14.917
Yeah, that's a whole nother conversation.
1167
00:51:14.937 --> 00:51:15.597
I'm going to keep it moving.
1168
00:51:15.917 --> 00:51:21.501
An ex who comes back every Halloween or an ex who pops up every time you meet somebody new?
1169
00:51:22.693 --> 00:51:24.173
Why does he come back on Halloween?
1170
00:51:24.453 --> 00:51:25.114
Because he's a ghost.
1171
00:51:25.174 --> 00:51:28.034
He's a ghost.
1172
00:51:29.255 --> 00:51:31.335
I would say the Halloween popper-upper.
1173
00:51:32.196 --> 00:51:32.516
Yeah.
1174
00:51:32.916 --> 00:51:34.356
Don't be blocking my blessing.
1175
00:51:34.576 --> 00:51:34.836
Right.
1176
00:51:34.896 --> 00:51:39.757
Me, somebody, I feel like now I could juggle both of y'all for a little while so I don't get too desperate for the new person.
1177
00:51:40.118 --> 00:51:42.398
We can reminisce and then I can keep it chill.
1178
00:51:43.618 --> 00:51:49.220
Someone who lies about their age or someone whose dating profile pictures are 10 years older.
1179
00:51:50.423 --> 00:51:55.585
If you look your age, then lying about it, I guess I'll take that one.
1180
00:51:55.605 --> 00:51:56.126
Age.
1181
00:51:56.426 --> 00:51:56.686
Okay.
1182
00:51:57.366 --> 00:52:00.868
A friend who tells your business or a friend who makes your business about her?
1183
00:52:02.107 --> 00:52:06.530
So, like, if you were to tell a friend a story, they immediately related to themselves.
1184
00:52:06.610 --> 00:52:07.110
So, like...
1185
00:52:07.210 --> 00:52:08.951
The lesser is... Oof.
1186
00:52:09.011 --> 00:52:09.972
I'm like, neither one of them.
1187
00:52:10.312 --> 00:52:11.553
No, they both are bad.
1188
00:52:11.613 --> 00:52:12.093
Crazy.
1189
00:52:12.513 --> 00:52:13.714
But I'm going to go with the friend.
1190
00:52:13.734 --> 00:52:14.534
Telling my business.
1191
00:52:14.614 --> 00:52:16.916
Like, the friend who makes it about themselves.
1192
00:52:16.956 --> 00:52:18.697
Because telling my business is crazy.
1193
00:52:18.717 --> 00:52:19.337
Yes, I agree.
1194
00:52:19.377 --> 00:52:20.938
If you're my friend, you need to be my vault.
1195
00:52:21.559 --> 00:52:22.059
Yeah, agreed.
1196
00:52:22.739 --> 00:52:29.123
A date who talks about their ex all night or a date that won't answer a single question about their past?
1197
00:52:29.163 --> 00:52:30.544
Talk about their ex in the last one.
1198
00:52:31.575 --> 00:52:33.376
Who is going to dinner talking about your ex?
1199
00:52:34.216 --> 00:52:35.417
A lot of people.
1200
00:52:35.437 --> 00:52:37.698
You can't get to know people if they don't tell you about their past.
1201
00:52:38.518 --> 00:52:42.860
Yeah, but I mean, you could be like, I was with this person and that was nice and it didn't work out.
1202
00:52:42.920 --> 00:52:48.323
I feel like I'm going to go for, it's less messy to have somebody who won't tell me about their past.
1203
00:52:49.021 --> 00:52:53.983
Because what if they're into something illegal and cool that as long as I don't know about, I get to benefit from?
1204
00:52:54.003 --> 00:52:54.763
Yeah.
1205
00:52:54.803 --> 00:52:55.304
Yeah.
1206
00:52:55.384 --> 00:52:57.945
Like, if I tell you, I got to kill you.
1207
00:52:57.965 --> 00:53:01.186
And I'm like, okay, don't tell me, boo-kiss.
1208
00:53:01.226 --> 00:53:01.846
Here we are.
1209
00:53:02.486 --> 00:53:08.849
Someone who's romantic and private, but calls you my friend in public.
1210
00:53:08.869 --> 00:53:13.511
Or someone who posts you constantly, but barely pays you attention at home.
1211
00:53:14.477 --> 00:53:19.341
I want the less one is the romantic and private.
1212
00:53:19.621 --> 00:53:20.742
Yeah.
1213
00:53:21.042 --> 00:53:22.523
Cause I'm liable to call you my friend.
1214
00:53:23.044 --> 00:53:23.304
Yeah.
1215
00:53:23.364 --> 00:53:23.664
Yeah.
1216
00:53:24.085 --> 00:53:25.325
That's very April.
1217
00:53:25.346 --> 00:53:26.586
Why you got me all over your page?
1218
00:53:26.606 --> 00:53:27.948
I don't even know if I want to be there yet.
1219
00:53:28.008 --> 00:53:28.788
Yeah, exactly.
1220
00:53:29.229 --> 00:53:31.630
Finding out your boyfriend has a secret kid.
1221
00:53:32.011 --> 00:53:32.591
Oh no.
1222
00:53:33.232 --> 00:53:37.495
Or finding out he has a podcast where he discusses your relationship.
1223
00:53:39.760 --> 00:53:41.961
Okay, how much money is the podcast making?
1224
00:53:41.981 --> 00:53:44.261
Is he getting clicks and downloads?
1225
00:53:44.361 --> 00:53:45.841
Is he coming back to the household?
1226
00:53:45.921 --> 00:53:47.101
Is he taking me to Chanel?
1227
00:53:48.282 --> 00:53:49.442
Then maybe he could talk about me.
1228
00:53:49.482 --> 00:53:51.262
I could be content.
1229
00:53:51.822 --> 00:53:53.883
I don't like that he has a secret kid.
1230
00:53:53.903 --> 00:53:54.403
That's crazy.
1231
00:53:54.423 --> 00:53:55.303
Yeah, secret kid.
1232
00:53:55.683 --> 00:53:56.663
I'm going with the podcast.
1233
00:53:56.683 --> 00:53:57.263
Yeah, me too.
1234
00:53:57.663 --> 00:53:58.623
I'm going with the podcast.
1235
00:54:00.464 --> 00:54:00.984
That's crazy.
1236
00:54:01.884 --> 00:54:03.144
This was such a treat.
1237
00:54:03.684 --> 00:54:06.585
I think we don't often...
1238
00:54:08.630 --> 00:54:13.694
We haven't often invited people in that we didn't have a relationship with.
1239
00:54:13.914 --> 00:54:19.698
So this is you being the first in our studio, you being a young black woman really crushing it.
1240
00:54:20.803 --> 00:54:23.564
and educating us on all the things happening in the world.
1241
00:54:23.664 --> 00:54:24.244
I'm honored.
1242
00:54:24.484 --> 00:54:24.984
Thank you.
1243
00:54:25.044 --> 00:54:27.125
So I do have to say I'm very honored.
1244
00:54:27.205 --> 00:54:28.325
I'm honored to be here.
1245
00:54:28.465 --> 00:54:33.407
And I think it is important to be able to collaborate and support.
1246
00:54:33.507 --> 00:54:34.627
So we are here.
1247
00:54:34.707 --> 00:54:37.508
But thank you for being an iced coffee.
1248
00:54:38.028 --> 00:54:38.469
Yes.
1249
00:54:38.909 --> 00:54:40.149
Take me to your interview, guys.
1250
00:54:40.369 --> 00:54:41.209
Okay?
1251
00:54:41.650 --> 00:54:42.570
Listen, the market is...
1252
00:54:43.270 --> 00:54:49.774
you need all the energy you can get exactly and we love you guys happy Halloween