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[SPEAKER_01]: Welcome to Drinks in the Library.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The only library where Drinks aren't just allowed, they are required.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm your librarian host, Gigi Howard, and each episode I'll be interviewing a guest about a much love book that we will be pairing with a drink for you to enjoy along with us or consider for your next book club meetup.
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[SPEAKER_01]: As always, stay curious and support your local library.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Hello, Liberation Nation.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All right, this week we are talking about here for it or how to save your soul in America by our Eric Thomas.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is a favorite of mine and it had a big impact on me when I read it in June of 2020.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I was so excited to talk about it with one of my very good friends and return guest, Izzy Call.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Also, it heads up.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This is a replay.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This episode originally aired in the summer of 2025.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But I am a little busy this week.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I am going to Brooklyn.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I am emcing the urban librarians unite romanticy gala.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm super excited about it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And tickets are still available.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I needed to take a little step back for this week.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And this is a wonderful episode to give a second life.
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[SPEAKER_01]: A little bit of info about the always delightful Izzy call, she works as a museum educator for the Virginia Museum of Fine Arts here in Richmond, coordinating projects related to the permanent collections and special exhibition displays, including digital components, labels, and web resources.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So if you've ever gone to the VMFA and thought, wow, this display is super thoughtful.
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[SPEAKER_01]: That's Izzy's work and her co-workers too, I'm sure.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Izzy is a lifelong passionate educator and feels most at him speaking about art with those who are interested in learning.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Also, just to heads up, our drink this week is the Cosmo and that's because when I reached out to Eric Thomas, asking him to share his favorite drink, he said it's one of his favorites right now and he is bringing it back as a recession indicator.
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[SPEAKER_00]: All right, let's get to it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I was like, and I told him like what we were doing and asked him if he would share his favorite drink, which he responded
Load full transcript
and he said he loves cosmos and he's bringing them back.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh nice, okay, so this is like his mission.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, we are here for it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We are in the army.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We're here for you.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, here for it, here for you with the cosmos.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So, yeah, so we're like, it's very Carrie Bradshaw.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I also wanted to tell you this for the listener.
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[SPEAKER_01]: in the morning, and so my solution recently has been to half the liquor in the early, yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So for about, yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So that is less dangerous than probably the kimono said.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it has like a little bit in it, but it's got a lot of lime juice and a lot of green marigeos.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my gosh, that's so refreshing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's just perfect for a morning.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I also, I've got an interview coming out soon
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[SPEAKER_01]: food tasting and drink tasting everything and she also told me Cosmos are coming back.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, okay, so summer of the Cosmo.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, yeah, you know when when he said Cosmo's I initially thought of when we lived in Philly we had good friends who lived around the corner for us And both my husband and Matt was our friend's name.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He they love Cosmos.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so it came out
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[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, but uh, sorry.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like, what is his name?
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[SPEAKER_00]: A Neil deGrasse Tyson.
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[SPEAKER_00]: He came out with a show about Cosmos about the star in the sky.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so they would have Cosmos with Cosmos.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That was the last time I had, like, thought about Cosmos.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I was like, this is great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I love it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's all coming together as it all works out.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So anyway, thank you, Eric.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Eric, I never know.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I always, I was from our Eric Thomas because I'm like, so
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[SPEAKER_00]: in awe.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I know of him, so I'm like, whatever you want to call it, that's great.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But anyway.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So yeah, so I was so glad you picked this book, obviously, I think I've talked about it like four times.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Well, yeah, and we should start there because the reason I even read this book is because of the podcast, I forget what podcast I was listening to, like what episode, but you had mentioned it as one that you had read so many times and it being so amazing and
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[SPEAKER_00]: in Spain.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so I was listening to your podcast, right?
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[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like on this tour bus in Spain.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, I need to read this book.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I found the audiobook before I found the print version.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so then I was listening to Aurek Thomas for the rest of my trip.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And there was something so like surreal about traveling.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So I was traveling without my family, without my kids, that my partner.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And like,
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[SPEAKER_00]: this book felt like such a time capsule of where I was at various points in my life, and I think he's like a little bit older than me, but still some of it was so translatable, you know?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So there was something like I was very free and like only having to about like myself and my own needs on this trip, but then like listen to this book and having like the space in time to think about all these things that he was relating.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was just like the chef's kiss perfect
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[SPEAKER_00]: because I have since tried to like revisit it since we talked about doing this.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm like, oh, I have so many things in my head.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So that's why I want to read this one because maybe that one will be better for me now.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, well, and that's so I often say to people like if you don't enjoy something the first time, like a book, you come back to it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, a lot of times it's where you are in that point of time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I will say my experience was reading this June of 2020.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like directly after the murder of George Floyd and well in close to its publication, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, so I picked it up then and just I mean it hooked me So this is your episode, but I am gonna probably jump in a couple times because I'm doing here for it I'm so obsessed.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, so you know, I'm in the middle of a pandemic I have a five-year-old who is
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know, I'm trying to have her thrive, but like mental health is not great for me at this time, and then also, especially sorry to interrupt, but June, like if we talk about like where we were, you know, it happened and then we sort of went like, oh, okay, school's not opening again.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Now we have this whole summer and like the vaccine and like there was so much uncertainty.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It was such a crazy time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I always tell, I like,
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[SPEAKER_01]: three things happened in 2020 that were good for me.
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[SPEAKER_01]: One, well, one and two, Taylor Swift put out ever more in full-core albums, which chefs kiss to those, and also I read here for it by our Eric Thomas, because there's such just like a moment of hope, and that's the, this book is a lot about hope, and anyhow, but we have to start at the beginning.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Prover.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Begin at the beginning.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm gonna read a section here.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But through it all, there was a constant tethering me to the idea of a future, the library.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I, you know, I'm gonna start crying.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But anyway, the library is the place where I could borrow first grovers, fizzle grovers, philosophical tone, which he, it's talking about the monster at the end of this book.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Then a couple of choose your own adventures, which, oh my god, anything more linear, it's like, obviously.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I could cheat at and later a stack of mysteries I could spoil for myself, all attempts to look for some other ways of understanding who I was.
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[SPEAKER_01]: In the bookstacks, I found the blueest eye in the circle.
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[SPEAKER_01]: The color purple, Giovanni's room, and David Raphco's fraud, fraud, and more.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I saw a new vision of otherness in those books.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And the pages kept turning at the end of everyone was a wall waiting to be broken down.
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[SPEAKER_01]: A large, towards becoming.
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[SPEAKER_01]: a new paragraph in a story with an ending far different from what I'd ever dare to imagine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So he goes on, but I want to definitely get to this part.
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[SPEAKER_01]: He says, how many times in life do we receive the message implicit or explicit that what we've experienced or what we feel isn't noteworthy or remarkable?
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[SPEAKER_01]: The books I found in the library, once that I deeply understood and once that seemed so outside of my experience, they might as well have been written and clinging on.
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[SPEAKER_01]: all carried the same hopes to be seen, to be heard, to exist.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And yeah, I think I read that and I was like, this is written for me, you know?
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So it's like a mission statement.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's, yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So of course that would like drew me in and then like the rest of it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I also want to say, it's so funny.
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[SPEAKER_01]: It's hilarious.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I, I, I, like, that's, I think part of it is also I read this and I'm like, very jealous.
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[SPEAKER_01]: like, what, you know, like jealous of like his humor, like this able to be so humorous.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So talented, like, funny and the way he writes, I mean, this is a cry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, you have to sit and think about it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So anyway, that's another thing I love about.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, I read that paragraph, and I was like, forward.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, the through line for him of literature and like spaces where reading and books are value, you know, he had his job working in the library with his friend and I think you and I were talking about this recently just how much library like my library growing up was like a space that
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[SPEAKER_00]: I loved and looked forward to going to and clearly like instilled in me a love of reading for life and Where we used to live.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I never really felt that with our our home library, you know Despite it being very fancy and new and fresh and it has books, right like it has the things we love that
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[SPEAKER_00]: right, but it really wasn't until we were going to our library here that I mean it's just such the feeling that you get going there and I can see that with my kids that they also love reading and it's about it's not just what's at home it's there and I think that's what he's getting at too.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, yeah, no, I'd love it.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I also want, like, I say this to people a lot, specific, and we're gonna get into the book.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I know I'm like, yeah, I'm running on about the library, but like, y'all, that's what I do.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Like, I was talking, like, people are so provincial and how they live their
life.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So you use the library.
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[SPEAKER_01]: All of our neighbors do, that sort of thing, but like, one time, I talk to other people.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm just gonna,
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[SPEAKER_01]: like draw a character chair of this person because this is a real person he was like nobody uses the library anymore.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Okay, this is a 35 year old man, no kids, 200k income, and you know, he just lives his life and he doesn't
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[SPEAKER_01]: Think that anybody uses the library because he doesn't use the library, right?
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[SPEAKER_01]: And it's just sort of like I always want to remind people it's like even though you don't use it There's so many people that do I see them every day and it's even I don't know I might edit this part out because it's like people will come in and they'll talk to me and they'll be like Nobody uses nobody's in here nobody's in the library and I'm like I'm here every day.
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[SPEAKER_01]: This place is packed half the time
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[SPEAKER_01]: you just haven't been in here, kind of thing.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So I always am like, trying to remind people of that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I know we've talked about this too, and this might be getting off script, but just the idea of like what libraries can provide.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I do think Art Eric's chapter where he's talking about his job in the library with his friend and just like what they were able
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[SPEAKER_00]: to do and connect over and respond to in that space.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like libraries are so much more than shelves of books.
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[SPEAKER_00]: They are so much more than that.
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[SPEAKER_00]: that's when I think you understand what the library is.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's like a place of communal gathering and like a place to connect with community and have conversation, connect over mutual interests, like there's so many things that a library can do and it is not a space of, you know, quiet and sorry.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Not ours, but yeah, I also responded to that very much.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like he is obviously an author,
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[SPEAKER_00]: very interested in the written word, but then also has this deeper love for what the written word can do.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And actually, I wrote down a quote that really meant something to me, and it was at the beginning.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So, sorry, if you look up this title and wonder, if it's like for you or for me, there's always, I feel like this kind of one sentence where it says it's about intersectionality of identities and coming to know oneself and specifically for the author,
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[SPEAKER_00]: he is a black gay man.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so that doesn't necessarily scream to me.
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[SPEAKER_00]: That's a gender white woman living in Virginia.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like that doesn't necessarily say my identities.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But something that he said was I am being him and worthy of being heard and you are worthy of hearing my story.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And for me, that's what I feel like so much of the author reader relationship is about.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's not just a bunch of words in a book.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It's someone took the time to sit down and write it and want to share it with you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And so you're making the active choice to sit down and listen to their story and be heard.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And it just so happened that these stories were very personal and very formative.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like they feel like they made him into the person he is, that I think is so bold and courageous of authors to put that out there.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But then for him to say, no, this is kind of for everybody, like this is for anyone who has like the empathy and the understanding to like want to pick it up and learn more.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Absolutely.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And I think he does, I mean, I love the way he tells his stories, but it is.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And like, I do want to point it out.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We are two white women talking about his story.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Oh, gosh, sorry.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know what that was?
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[SPEAKER_01]: It was Bill sending me his wordle.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Somewhere.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Sweetie.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Anyhow.
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[SPEAKER_01]: So we're two white women talking about his book and just to acknowledge that, but I think also it was like so valuable the way that he told it.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's for anybody and it's also maybe, you know, sometimes we, I've talked about this before is like it's the mirror and the window and like so clearly this is a window for us to understand where he's coming from and it was amazing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And I think some of the beauty of the way he writes and his relatability is that it can become a mirror.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like his experiences while not a one to one.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I absolutely found, like, I could see.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, like I would say in my head, like, oh, yeah, that happened to me too, you know?
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[SPEAKER_00]: So there is something which getting back to, like, yes, we are all like different people.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have different identities.
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[SPEAKER_00]: We have different experiences.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And yes, we are all human.
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[SPEAKER_00]: and we can have very basic responses to things and that's why I felt like so you commented on the humor, I felt like the way he was writing was as if he was writing to a friend and I was that friend and it just was such an easy listen, you know.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Like you said, it was so humor-filled, it was so funny.
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[SPEAKER_00]: It was laugh out loud funny.
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[SPEAKER_00]: I don't laugh at books, and this was, I'd be like, chuckling to myself on this bus.
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[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: You know?
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[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, no, 100% I also do not often laugh.
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[SPEAKER_01]: And like this, I will read some point in this recording.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm going to read the good rates review I wrote for it at the time.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, because I was like, it's fine.
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[SPEAKER_01]: I'm not going to be, I'm going to get a poll at serve for this or anything.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But I was like, I have to make this clever.
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[SPEAKER_01]: But for him, yeah, because I'm not going to write just like, oh, it's good.
16:24.789 --> 16:25.049
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
16:25.209 --> 16:27.712
[SPEAKER_01]: So anyway, I'm trying to impress you, Eric.
16:27.732 --> 16:27.872
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
16:29.695 --> 16:30.275
[SPEAKER_00]: But you're for it.
16:30.676 --> 16:31.016
[SPEAKER_01]: Where are you?
16:31.076 --> 16:31.277
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
16:31.357 --> 16:33.139
[SPEAKER_01]: How many times can we say about?
16:33.619 --> 16:39.086
[SPEAKER_01]: So I could definitely keep talking about my favorite stories, but I want to give you a chance to talk about.
16:40.056 --> 16:40.836
[SPEAKER_01]: what yours are.
16:41.357 --> 16:48.339
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, so I think something I want to say first is that reading short stories is not necessarily something that I typically do.
16:48.659 --> 16:53.501
[SPEAKER_00]: I like, I like a narrative, I like, you know, fiction and totally read it if you wrote it.
16:53.661 --> 16:56.682
[SPEAKER_00]: Actually, I think you wrote a YA novel.
16:56.742 --> 16:59.243
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, he has some YA books.
16:59.583 --> 17:01.324
[SPEAKER_01]: I think they're sort of growing up in Baltimore.
17:01.344 --> 17:01.544
[SPEAKER_01]: Cool.
17:01.764 --> 17:02.044
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
17:02.304 --> 17:02.484
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
17:02.744 --> 17:03.525
[SPEAKER_00]: I need you to look into those.
17:03.805 --> 17:04.025
[SPEAKER_00]: But
17:05.965 --> 17:09.369
[SPEAKER_00]: His short stories felt like a narrative.
17:09.489 --> 17:13.153
[SPEAKER_00]: They felt like I was like walking through it with him.
17:13.533 --> 17:17.077
[SPEAKER_01]: So I have to admit they blend together a little for me.
17:17.157 --> 17:21.342
[SPEAKER_00]: And I hope that doesn't upset anybody because I know short stories are their own works.
17:21.822 --> 17:23.805
[SPEAKER_00]: But I imagine they're placed at certain times.
17:24.365 --> 17:36.774
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, the one I really liked and it was pretty, it was pretty sad, but I think it kind of helped, you know, we're in like a terrible time right now if I'm going to be totally honest.
17:37.374 --> 17:42.238
[SPEAKER_01]: And now I can I tell you, like, build this, told me, like, the news this morning and it was like,
17:43.017 --> 17:43.437
[SPEAKER_01]: All right.
17:43.497 --> 17:52.783
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, I'm going to go talk about one of my favorite books with one of my favorite people and we're going to read and learn and drink drinks right author.
17:52.863 --> 17:53.983
[SPEAKER_01]: And that's what I'm into.
17:54.023 --> 17:54.143
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
17:54.183 --> 17:55.524
[SPEAKER_01]: The things are so horrible right now.
17:55.604 --> 18:02.989
[SPEAKER_00]: So yeah, and it was so interesting because and so the story like just the past smelled terrible for a number of reasons.
18:03.509 --> 18:08.752
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, he's talking about this workwife relationship that he has with his friend and
18:09.558 --> 18:15.542
[SPEAKER_00]: I find that to be so relatable, the idea that you have these friendships and through your work.
18:16.243 --> 18:23.988
[SPEAKER_00]: And sometimes they don't necessarily cross the boundary into real life friendship, but they're so important to you in that space.
18:24.608 --> 18:27.790
[SPEAKER_00]: And I recently just had a coworker leave who I've worked with for like eight years.
18:27.971 --> 18:33.294
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was really meaningful to me that he was talking about this friend and where they come from.
18:33.514 --> 18:37.057
[SPEAKER_00]: And then the idea that they were talking about time travel.
18:39.158 --> 18:43.442
[SPEAKER_00]: how can we fix this moment in this moment being that Hillary Clinton lost the election?
18:43.922 --> 18:48.346
[SPEAKER_00]: So, and his workwife was saying, well, I would just go back in time.
18:48.386 --> 18:52.049
[SPEAKER_00]: He's like, that's a horrible idea because it smelled terrible.
18:52.730 --> 18:54.572
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's like one of those things where it's like,
18:54.972 --> 19:11.677
[SPEAKER_00]: Of course it smelled terrible, but like TV can't tell us that, you know, it's again it's a moment of humor when they're talking about this really, I mean
traumatic thing, you know, the fact that like Hillary Clinton lost is why we are here right now, you know?
19:11.937 --> 19:12.278
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
19:12.298 --> 19:12.618
[SPEAKER_00]: So at
19:13.778 --> 19:26.844
[SPEAKER_00]: that story while it presented so much sadness with a moment that has been so hard and will continue to be hard for who knows how long.
19:27.384 --> 19:36.708
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, I sort of thought we had done our trauma in 2016, which he wrote about that as well, having like this election day party and just not realizing what was going to happen.
19:36.908 --> 19:37.008
[SPEAKER_00]: And
19:38.680 --> 19:46.107
[SPEAKER_00]: I feel like I hadn't really like thought about that in a while just because of like everything we've been through right if it wasn't four years of this awful person
19:46.569 --> 19:49.490
[SPEAKER_00]: It was COVID, and now it's again, we're doing it again.
19:50.430 --> 19:59.232
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know if it was something about the timing of reading that particular story and him being able in that moment to still meet it with humor.
20:00.152 --> 20:01.653
[SPEAKER_00]: What I thought was so old.
20:02.553 --> 20:14.776
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, he could be really sad, but he chooses, I think, to kind of reason through things in a way that uplifts people.
20:14.956 --> 20:15.176
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
20:16.137 --> 20:19.999
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, oh, it's, and I know I've talked about this before.
20:20.039 --> 20:25.842
[SPEAKER_01]: It's the Anne Lamont quote, where it's like, sometimes you're out on the boat, but somehow you still keep singing.
20:26.143 --> 20:26.463
[SPEAKER_00]: Mm-hmm.
20:26.883 --> 20:27.323
[SPEAKER_01]: That's all right.
20:27.443 --> 20:28.304
[SPEAKER_01]: Thanks, Kraken.
20:28.824 --> 20:30.045
[SPEAKER_01]: But yeah, he's still singing.
20:30.685 --> 20:31.566
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
20:31.786 --> 20:34.507
[SPEAKER_00]: And again, after all that he goes through, right?
20:34.767 --> 20:45.073
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I mean, the anecdotes that are peppered throughout where I wrote it down that his other nest, his other nest is weaponized against him.
20:45.640 --> 21:11.356
[SPEAKER_00]: from a young young age as an elementary school or something that I have not had to I now deal with understand access will not have to with my children and that continues to happen to him and he is still able to sing yeah yeah no I think that was one of the first them because he says it's so plainly he gets called a racial slur as like an elementary
21:15.138 --> 21:17.619
[SPEAKER_01]: As you just said, I'm like, wow.
21:17.999 --> 21:24.141
[SPEAKER_01]: I can't have what would that feel like as a young kid to all the sudden be like, wait, what, what did you just say?
21:24.241 --> 21:25.822
[SPEAKER_00]: What am I, and then I'll start to turn.
21:26.002 --> 21:30.503
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, you're just sitting there thinking we're all having a good time, and then all the sudden.
21:31.884 --> 21:35.105
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so that was a, that was a point, movement for sure.
21:35.425 --> 21:39.186
[SPEAKER_01]: And then also he talks, I mean, this talking about his sexuality as well.
21:39.986 --> 21:40.767
[SPEAKER_01]: I have to say,
21:42.399 --> 21:59.408
[SPEAKER_01]: I related very strongly with him of the Christian upbringing, obviously, but then trying to find himself as well, but then also with being raised in that environment, you're constantly trying to be quote-unquote good.
22:00.548 --> 22:07.932
[SPEAKER_01]: And I felt out very much in all of the stories about relating with spirituality and Christianity and everything.
22:09.301 --> 22:17.165
[SPEAKER_01]: and he has to struggle right with his sexuality, which according to the church pulls him out of it, right?
22:17.185 --> 22:24.888
[SPEAKER_01]: And we make one that takes the good, quote-unquote, good, out, and there's that aspect, but yeah, that was the part that I definitely felt.
22:24.908 --> 22:29.610
[SPEAKER_01]: And then also, I think, he comes at it.
22:29.690 --> 22:31.991
[SPEAKER_01]: He has that same thing, like I can feel it.
22:32.471 --> 22:35.473
[SPEAKER_01]: He's trying to fit into this good,
22:36.348 --> 22:43.171
[SPEAKER_01]: box and kind box and I find, and I do that too, you know, and I feel that in his writing a lot.
22:43.911 --> 22:46.392
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm like, oh yeah, you're wrestling with this as well.
22:46.632 --> 22:46.852
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
22:47.152 --> 22:50.013
[SPEAKER_01]: You want to say something, but then that's not kind.
22:50.113 --> 22:50.474
[SPEAKER_01]: I don't know.
22:51.134 --> 22:56.736
[SPEAKER_00]: Or it's not how it was modeled to you, which, I mean, again, if that's happening at such
22:57.920 --> 22:59.082
[SPEAKER_00]: young, young age.
22:59.122 --> 23:00.703
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it's hard to break that, right?
23:01.144 --> 23:05.329
[SPEAKER_00]: Something he wrote that I can't even recall when it was, but it really stuck with me.
23:05.509 --> 23:09.233
[SPEAKER_00]: It was for him the difference was doing something wrong versus
23:09.741 --> 23:26.633
[SPEAKER_00]: being something wrong and like in recent memory have not had a feeling of being wrong, you know, like my actual physicality, personality, like something about me is wrong, doing something wrong, of course, we're human.
23:26.733 --> 23:31.397
[SPEAKER_00]: We all do things wrong all the time, but actually being wrong and I think that was a big
23:32.096 --> 23:43.749
[SPEAKER_00]: thing for me to like realize like just how the every day can be affected, you know, he was talking about moving to Canada because he didn't want to have his right strip to marry.
23:44.389 --> 23:49.355
[SPEAKER_00]: Like that kind of stuff is things that, you know, yeah, we're not here for that.
23:49.690 --> 23:50.892
[SPEAKER_00]: No, we're not here for that.
23:54.196 --> 23:57.780
[SPEAKER_01]: I do want to talk about some of the stories because they're so
funny.
23:57.800 --> 23:59.762
[SPEAKER_00]: Can I know your favorite story?
24:00.283 --> 24:06.170
[SPEAKER_01]: My favorite story is the one that he accidentally gets canceled.
24:07.188 --> 24:09.270
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, yes, yes, the internet one.
24:09.630 --> 24:10.871
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm subscribed from all of that.
24:10.971 --> 24:12.792
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, that was it.
24:12.892 --> 24:18.777
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm trying because he wrote like the black history month article and everyone thought he wasn't black right.
24:18.917 --> 24:20.078
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, that one.
24:20.138 --> 24:22.239
[SPEAKER_01]: It's called someone is wrong on the internet.
24:22.339 --> 24:22.619
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, okay.
24:22.800 --> 24:25.842
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think he was upset because
24:26.748 --> 24:42.626
[SPEAKER_01]: Like black history month was basically it goes up and then it comes down and it's just kind of like, oh, we did it sort of moment and so short a satire making fun of or like being like, oh, yeah, it's totally fine that we do it this way, but everyone assumed he was white.
24:43.773 --> 24:47.635
[SPEAKER_00]: and that it wasn't a satire, which is his genius.
24:47.676 --> 24:56.041
[SPEAKER_00]: He does such a good job of being flippant, I guess, that it can go over people's heads.
24:56.641 --> 25:05.467
[SPEAKER_00]: And if they don't have his smiling picture next to his name, that is what the beast that the internet will do is just jump, you know?
25:05.487 --> 25:06.787
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, absolutely.
25:07.068 --> 25:09.149
[SPEAKER_01]: I've been thinking about that a lot recently.
25:09.529 --> 25:10.690
[SPEAKER_01]: Did you hear the story?
25:10.710 --> 25:17.515
[SPEAKER_01]: This is switching in a little bit, but talking about the internet and jumping, so Allie Hazelwood, do you know the author?
25:17.535 --> 25:20.357
[SPEAKER_01]: She writes pretty popular romance novels.
25:20.397 --> 25:21.458
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
25:21.538 --> 25:35.608
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, she was at some author talk a few months ago and she made a comment going back to the Hunger Games that she was Team Gale and being Peter didn't do anything or
25:37.198 --> 25:39.839
[SPEAKER_01]: And people went insane.
25:39.919 --> 25:41.900
[SPEAKER_01]: So a clip was uploaded of her saying that.
25:42.600 --> 25:43.761
[SPEAKER_01]: People went crazy.
25:43.941 --> 25:49.503
[SPEAKER_01]: I think that she like shut down her Instagram kind of thing.
25:49.843 --> 25:51.044
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think she's okay.
25:51.084 --> 25:53.224
[SPEAKER_01]: I think everything's kind of cool over by now.
25:53.285 --> 26:01.628
[SPEAKER_01]: But the reaction has more of just been like, y'all, if we're getting this upset about someone being teen gale or teen pita,
26:02.190 --> 26:02.970
[SPEAKER_01]: ten years later.
26:03.110 --> 26:05.071
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, like more, right?
26:05.171 --> 26:05.372
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
26:05.412 --> 26:07.233
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah, like, we're going on 20.
26:07.813 --> 26:09.113
[SPEAKER_01]: Happy 20 at Pelleger Games.
26:09.354 --> 26:13.816
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, and maybe that's more that unsubscribe from all that and story.
26:14.036 --> 26:16.757
[SPEAKER_00]: And that one really spoke to me just the toxicity.
26:17.117 --> 26:22.240
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, he got his start of writing articles for l.com.
26:22.420 --> 26:27.723
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think he even talked about like going through the comments and seeing.
26:27.783 --> 26:28.023
[SPEAKER_00]: I just
26:31.423 --> 26:38.106
[SPEAKER_00]: got to do what you got to do and he's clearly made his name and has moved on and is able to do what he's able to do but having to deal with internet trolls.
26:38.126 --> 26:42.629
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean I am already like of the age where I lurk and I don't do anything.
26:43.889 --> 26:46.531
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know how to use any of it but I'm there, you know.
26:47.211 --> 26:51.753
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah just the the toxicity of it and can we unsubscribe from all of it.
26:52.334 --> 27:00.138
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah and we're also mad at a point where I think we need to be aware that the internet is like a
27:00.932 --> 27:01.292
[SPEAKER_01]: dead.
27:01.493 --> 27:03.015
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyone can post anything.
27:03.735 --> 27:06.739
[SPEAKER_01]: You can now make videos that are not real.
27:07.079 --> 27:13.367
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you can edit things so that they come out a different way than the person intended them to.
27:13.988 --> 27:16.290
[SPEAKER_01]: And I think it's maybe we're at a point in time.
27:16.471 --> 27:19.795
[SPEAKER_01]: We all need to take a step back and try to figure out.
27:20.628 --> 27:26.433
[SPEAKER_01]: how do we at ascertain what is true and what's not true, because I think we're starting to get down crazy, wholesome.
27:26.993 --> 27:27.193
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
27:27.293 --> 27:37.781
[SPEAKER_00]: And we'll take it back to the author, the dimensioning, like, yes, she may have said that, but can everyone just have a filter to be like, hmm, how do I want to respond?
27:37.861 --> 27:40.263
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, like do I want to lose my mind?
27:42.205 --> 27:45.592
[SPEAKER_00]: do I want to make this poor woman shut down her Instagram account?
27:45.612 --> 27:46.253
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
27:46.694 --> 27:51.323
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and then also, yeah, all thers are also rural human beings too.
27:52.333 --> 27:56.956
[SPEAKER_01]: just because someone's written a book doesn't mean they don't live saying similar life that you have.
27:56.976 --> 28:03.339
[SPEAKER_01]: So anyhow, but yes, so what are some of the other stories that we want to get into, I guess, at this?
28:04.140 --> 28:18.808
[SPEAKER_00]: I wanted to mention just because it was, so I laughed and I cried during this book and it was, she's got herself a universe, which it's the story that comes kind of in the very middle of this book and we've talked so much about the humor
28:21.671 --> 28:27.435
[SPEAKER_00]: how light and airy he is with a lot of these kind of these heavy moments.
28:28.035 --> 28:32.838
[SPEAKER_00]: And this one felt like such an outlier to me or it felt very different and not in a bad way.
28:33.019 --> 28:36.221
[SPEAKER_00]: It felt like it was well placed and but it is very sad.
28:36.521 --> 28:41.664
[SPEAKER_00]: This is the story that's about his good friend, Electra, who moved into his school system.
28:41.944 --> 28:43.245
[SPEAKER_00]: I guess it was like Middles.
28:43.425 --> 28:44.826
[SPEAKER_00]: It was high school because she was a great
28:45.887 --> 28:48.528
[SPEAKER_00]: So they had a very fast, quick friendship.
28:48.548 --> 28:49.828
[SPEAKER_00]: They went to prom together.
28:50.188 --> 28:53.990
[SPEAKER_00]: He was not out at that time, but she was a very good friend for him.
28:54.130 --> 28:57.271
[SPEAKER_00]: And like this moment, I think of like searching for who he was.
28:57.831 --> 29:00.051
[SPEAKER_00]: This was the friend that he had the job at the library with.
29:00.372 --> 29:02.792
[SPEAKER_00]: And she had a very sad story of losing her mom.
29:02.992 --> 29:06.153
[SPEAKER_00]: And that's why she had to move down here to live with an aunt and uncle, I think.
29:06.333 --> 29:11.295
[SPEAKER_00]: But the chapter ends with him learning years later that
29:15.847 --> 29:24.415
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was just like, it is again one of those moments where it's like, amongst all of this life that can be had, right?
29:24.515 --> 29:34.324
[SPEAKER_00]: You are living your life, you are, you know, getting a paycheck and trying to do what you need to do, you're going on dates, you're meeting people, you're joining the softball league.
29:34.565 --> 29:36.827
[SPEAKER_00]: I don't know, like you're just living your life.
29:37.572 --> 29:39.173
[SPEAKER_00]: and this thing happens.
29:39.754 --> 29:44.858
[SPEAKER_00]: And the way he wrote about it, it just felt so real and honest.
29:45.338 --> 29:54.345
[SPEAKER_00]: And I, I was interested by the choice to include this because it did feel so removed from the rest of the content.
29:54.725 --> 30:00.770
[SPEAKER_00]: But it, it just, it really, it really spoke to me because that happens all the time to everybody and you may not know it.
30:00.890 --> 30:04.113
[SPEAKER_00]: You may not know that someone is now no longer in their life.
30:04.553 --> 30:04.773
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
30:04.993 --> 30:05.233
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
30:05.494 --> 30:05.734
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
30:05.894 --> 30:07.054
[SPEAKER_00]: Because they're still doing everything.
30:07.074 --> 30:08.255
[SPEAKER_00]: They're still going to softball league.
30:08.275 --> 30:09.175
[SPEAKER_00]: They're still going to work.
30:09.195 --> 30:09.695
[SPEAKER_00]: They're doing this.
30:09.715 --> 30:10.216
[SPEAKER_00]: They're doing that.
30:10.276 --> 30:11.036
[SPEAKER_00]: And you just don't know.
30:11.276 --> 30:11.516
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
30:11.776 --> 30:12.097
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
30:12.317 --> 30:13.617
[SPEAKER_01]: And it's this heavy.
30:13.657 --> 30:18.880
[SPEAKER_01]: And then it's like, how do you deal with it and how do you reckon with it and how do you keep going?
30:18.900 --> 30:19.940
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
30:20.000 --> 30:21.421
[SPEAKER_01]: Because you have to, right?
30:21.601 --> 30:21.941
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
30:22.141 --> 30:23.702
[SPEAKER_00]: And it's yeah.
30:23.722 --> 30:26.803
[SPEAKER_01]: We're even even in like close relationships.
30:26.924 --> 30:29.605
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, you've someone passes away.
30:34.994 --> 30:52.780
[SPEAKER_00]: Right, because it didn't necessarily affect them, you know, and I haven't, I've not had that personally happen to me, but I've seen people that I love go through it and I don't, I just felt such empathy for him in that moment because he wrote so beautifully about this person and what she meant to him.
30:53.000 --> 30:53.380
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
30:54.500 --> 31:03.083
[SPEAKER_01]: I think I have the end of the chapter right here, it says, I tell this story because of what knowledge it began in me, the complexity of love,
31:04.016 --> 31:08.099
[SPEAKER_01]: the shape shifting heaviness of grief and the possibility of tragedy.
31:08.199 --> 31:13.022
[SPEAKER_01]: I tell this story because she left before the end, and I'm trying to find her in the darkness.
31:13.802 --> 31:19.706
[SPEAKER_01]: And in this place she hugs me and I whisper in her ear and anything is possible for anyone forever.
31:20.366 --> 31:22.708
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, yeah, it was, yeah, it was just...
31:23.968 --> 31:26.470
[SPEAKER_01]: It was a heavy moment, but I like,
31:27.867 --> 31:32.149
[SPEAKER_01]: It's, that's life, you know, and I said, I don't say that fluently.
31:32.229 --> 31:35.370
[SPEAKER_01]: I've always just kind of been like, this is crazy.
31:35.510 --> 31:39.632
[SPEAKER_01]: Like we're all alive and it's beautiful and it's horrible and it's scary.
31:39.832 --> 31:40.733
[SPEAKER_01]: And the internet is dead.
31:40.993 --> 31:41.973
[SPEAKER_01]: The internet is dead.
31:42.013 --> 31:46.395
[SPEAKER_01]: We're declaring it today, but he, I don't know.
31:46.415 --> 31:49.496
[SPEAKER_01]: I, yeah, I love it that he writes it so well.
31:49.536 --> 31:52.298
[SPEAKER_01]: All of these things and I'm like, yes, that's right.
31:52.378 --> 31:53.158
[SPEAKER_01]: That's how it feels.
31:54.006 --> 32:18.339
[SPEAKER_01]: this moment so yeah that one that one was awesome really great and then he writes about like dating did like the story what was it he was dating a guy that had the crazy crampus the crampus was and the crampus was that one called it was crampromus crampromus so I'm gonna flip to that like I loved I loved so he was living with this guy
32:19.980 --> 32:22.801
[SPEAKER_00]: And he had come up with how they were going to decorate for Christmas.
32:22.941 --> 32:23.181
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
32:23.201 -->
32:24.262
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, this is me.
32:24.362 --> 32:25.662
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, I have a color palette.
32:25.722 --> 32:26.303
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's right.
32:26.643 --> 32:31.625
[SPEAKER_00]: No, we can't get your whatever this is off of the clearance rack.
32:31.645 --> 32:33.806
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, no, it goes against the color theme.
32:34.206 --> 32:37.547
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think his was like, putter and maroon or something like that.
32:37.587 --> 32:38.087
[SPEAKER_00]: You know?
32:38.828 --> 32:42.689
[SPEAKER_00]: And then his partner at the time got a crampest doll.
32:42.709 --> 32:42.849
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
32:42.869 --> 32:44.830
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, plopped it in the tree.
32:45.550 --> 32:49.132
[SPEAKER_00]: And our Thomas is just like spinning out over.
32:49.852 --> 32:50.272
[SPEAKER_00]: Fair.
32:50.452 --> 32:51.833
[SPEAKER_00]: It sounds awful.
32:52.673 --> 32:53.813
[SPEAKER_01]: It sounds horrific.
32:53.853 --> 32:54.313
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I know.
32:54.413 --> 32:58.775
[SPEAKER_01]: I would totally have con over like when his partner wasn't there and I'd be like, we're hiding this.
32:58.855 --> 32:59.055
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
32:59.095 --> 33:00.495
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, the dog is going to eat it.
33:00.635 --> 33:01.095
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
33:01.155 --> 33:01.615
[SPEAKER_00]: I mean.
33:03.856 --> 33:04.296
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
33:04.416 --> 33:12.559
[SPEAKER_01]: So, and it was, and I think that was also some him coming to turn his Christian upbringing and it's like, Krampus feels very sort of like demonic.
33:12.659 --> 33:13.939
[SPEAKER_00]: What's looking over you?
33:14.179 --> 33:14.719
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
33:14.899 --> 33:17.120
[SPEAKER_01]: Which, because you talked about he would be watching TV.
33:17.600 --> 33:18.761
[SPEAKER_00]: You're gonna be looking at him.
33:19.121 --> 33:29.147
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, he's like in my family on Christmas day, you can't even play like a card game that might have an implication of violence because it's Jesus' birthday.
33:29.247 --> 33:29.507
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on.
33:29.799 --> 33:30.599
[SPEAKER_00]: Come on, Gigi.
33:32.540 --> 33:38.181
[SPEAKER_01]: So I totally understand where he's coming from, where he's like, we cannot have crampus at Christmas.
33:39.441 --> 33:41.282
[SPEAKER_00]: Can you imagine something?
33:41.322 --> 33:49.703
[SPEAKER_00]: So something that he said throughout the book and was that he is not a father that he does not have children.
33:51.184 --> 33:55.305
[SPEAKER_00]: And but I just want to like hat tip to his parents.
33:57.025 --> 34:15.068
[SPEAKER_00]: as a mother to two children, like, so much about what he writes about in this book shows that his parents imparted such good lessons about being a good person, and being a person that is like true to himself, and that if, like,
34:15.894 --> 34:16.794
[SPEAKER_00]: dreams, right?
34:16.834 --> 34:23.176
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, all of that's all I want to raise are good humans who know themselves and know how to treat others.
34:23.996 --> 34:29.637
[SPEAKER_00]: And I especially loved, this is from the story, there's never any trouble here in bubble land.
34:29.837 --> 34:32.518
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, which is from Mr. Rogers neighborhood, right?
34:32.558 --> 34:32.838
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
34:33.298 --> 34:38.699
[SPEAKER_00]: And for him, it was very much, you know, he lived in I think it was the West Side of Baltimore, and
34:39.199 --> 35:06.570
[SPEAKER_00]: But went to this very fancy private school so had this kind of like dual right there like kind of dueling identities, especially when he's thinking about like the student body that he's assimilating with these kind of rich kids rich white kids I assume, but I think it I think it was following the incident of what we were talking about earlier where he was called a racial slur in class and and the administrators response at that point was to send both
35:07.504 --> 35:20.615
[SPEAKER_00]: the kid who called him that and him to like a racial sensitivity training and his mother like marched into the office and was just like, and no, like of absolutely not.
35:20.655 --> 35:21.516
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, Judy.
35:21.536 --> 35:24.458
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, Judy crushed it in her pant suit.
35:24.779 --> 35:33.065
[SPEAKER_00]: And yeah, but what I think what he said at the end of this chapter on his parents was that they prepared me for the world, but they also prepared
35:36.535 --> 35:50.139
[SPEAKER_00]: that second part that I think is so important because it's not about being a helicopter parent, a lighthouse parent, whatever we're calling them, but like it's, it's Judy took the time to educate the world about how they should be, right?
35:50.640 --> 35:57.962
[SPEAKER_00]: And sending the victim of a racial slur to racial sensitivity draining is not the way it should be.
35:58.222 --> 35:58.422
[SPEAKER_00]: Right.
35:58.462 --> 36:00.223
[SPEAKER_00]: So fix it, you know, and
36:01.633 --> 36:05.234
[SPEAKER_00]: Again, people are human, our kids are human, they're growing up, they're making mistakes.
36:05.294 --> 36:08.635
[SPEAKER_00]: They will need to learn lessons and they'll need to learn those lessons from us, sure.
36:09.135 --> 36:12.436
[SPEAKER_00]: But the world can also learn some lessons, you know?
36:13.337 --> 36:20.699
[SPEAKER_00]: And that was such a great, just such a great example of what I feel a parent should be, you know?
36:21.259 --> 36:23.560
[SPEAKER_00]: You're not fixing your kids' problems.
36:23.920 --> 36:29.041
[SPEAKER_00]: But yes, you're gonna educate the world on how it should be for them, you know?
36:31.951 --> 36:34.854
[SPEAKER_01]: It's, I, as someone has not a computational person.
36:34.954 --> 36:36.255
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, it's much easier.
36:36.876 --> 36:41.160
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm putting myself in Judy's shoes of just being like, okay.
36:41.181 --> 36:42.482
[SPEAKER_00]: Well, they're doing something.
36:42.502 --> 36:45.365
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, or just say just go and whatever.
36:45.505 --> 36:48.568
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, yeah, no, she and she was showing him, too.
36:48.608 --> 36:49.709
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, that's not okay.
36:49.789 --> 36:50.890
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, that's not how it should be.
36:51.051 --> 36:51.331
[SPEAKER_01]: Right.
36:51.411 --> 36:51.651
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
36:51.751 --> 36:53.213
[SPEAKER_01]: So no, I think they,
36:53.821 --> 36:57.044
[SPEAKER_01]: are wonderful parents and their book is dedicated to them.
36:57.284 --> 37:00.387
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so they were, they were here for him.
37:00.487 --> 37:02.149
[SPEAKER_01]: So I loved all of that.
37:02.589 --> 37:03.991
[SPEAKER_01]: What are some other, you've got notes?
37:04.011 --> 37:05.212
[SPEAKER_01]: I want to make sure we hit all your notes.
37:05.292 --> 37:06.813
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I know.
37:07.834 --> 37:19.145
[SPEAKER_00]: So I, in this again, just comes back to like, if people are reading the one line of what this is about, go past that, because again, there are so many anecdotes for me that felt, it didn't,
37:20.157 --> 37:23.138
[SPEAKER_00]: He was writing it, yes, but like, it spoke to me.
37:23.538 --> 37:24.299
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
37:24.319 --> 37:28.860
[SPEAKER_00]: So the softest ball was about him playing on the adult softball.
37:29.801 --> 37:37.923
[SPEAKER_00]: I had like one ill-fated year where, you know, we were living in Richmond.
37:38.043 --> 37:39.524
[SPEAKER_00]: I think we had an even bought our house yet.
37:39.604 --> 37:44.566
[SPEAKER_00]: We might have been living with my parents and newly married, but like, you know, just something to do, I guess.
37:45.606 --> 37:47.348
[SPEAKER_00]: We did like a kickball league.
37:47.448 --> 37:48.109
[SPEAKER_00]: No, it was in kickball.
37:48.129 --> 37:49.350
[SPEAKER_00]: It was dodgeball.
37:49.491 --> 37:50.091
[SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh.
37:50.111 --> 37:51.453
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh my god.
37:52.033 --> 37:55.137
[SPEAKER_00]: I think I did it one and at one year and I was like, why am I doing this?
37:55.277 --> 37:57.219
[SPEAKER_00]: Why am I signing up for Jim?
37:57.479 --> 37:59.842
[SPEAKER_00]: Jim paying for people to throw balls at me?
38:00.042 --> 38:02.005
[SPEAKER_00]: Like it was awful.
38:02.105 --> 38:02.305
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
38:02.505 --> 38:12.039
[SPEAKER_00]: and then the added layer of it was that I was like doing it with my spouse, like my new spouse and I'm like he's athletic, I guess I should like this, but I'm like, no, I don't like this.
38:12.059 --> 38:16.105
[SPEAKER_00]: I didn't like this the past three years, we were dating, why would I like it?
38:16.125 --> 38:16.706
[SPEAKER_00]: No, you know.
38:17.667 --> 38:39.987
[SPEAKER_00]: So, I love just like his story about like going and getting the equipment Like lotioning up the gloves I mean it was just perfect and he got pants and shoes And then they put him as the catcher And he was like voted to be on the team that was the worst score I mean, that was just incredible And he did it a season he was like, and I forgot Like, does?
38:40.387 --> 38:40.948
[SPEAKER_00]: No, thyself
38:41.388 --> 38:42.208
[SPEAKER_01]: I was about to say that.
38:42.408 --> 38:42.688
[SPEAKER_00]: Right?
38:42.708 --> 38:43.028
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:43.629 --> 38:47.550
[SPEAKER_01]: That's when I feel like it's an overarching theme of the book, it's just like, know yourself.
38:47.690 --> 38:47.830
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
38:47.850 --> 38:50.850
[SPEAKER_00]: You know how you want to spend your time and who with.
38:51.090 --> 38:51.431
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes.
38:51.491 --> 38:52.491
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm talking about what.
38:52.811 --> 38:56.632
[SPEAKER_00]: And it was just such a, like, a reiterative moment for me.
38:56.652 --> 38:57.512
[SPEAKER_00]: I've been like, yes.
38:57.672 --> 38:59.233
[SPEAKER_00]: I've had that experience too.
39:01.393 --> 39:01.693
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
39:01.893 --> 39:03.274
[SPEAKER_01]: Now, I do agree.
39:03.294 --> 39:05.354
[SPEAKER_01]: It's all about knowing yourself.
39:05.454 --> 39:08.555
[SPEAKER_01]: I, if you don't mind, I read.
39:09.398 --> 39:11.320
[SPEAKER_01]: from not the last chapter.
39:11.380 --> 39:15.022
[SPEAKER_01]: The last chapter is sort of a play that he wrote, which is hilarious.
39:15.062 --> 39:15.903
[SPEAKER_01]: Oh my god, I loved it.
39:16.403 --> 39:23.569
[SPEAKER_01]: But this is from the second to last chapter, which is called, or maybe it is unsubscribe from all that.
39:23.589 --> 39:26.351
[SPEAKER_01]: Anyway, this one, this one looked the very last page.
39:26.451 --> 39:34.037
[SPEAKER_01]: So, so he's talking about being an event with his husband and their family, but I think this
39:39.179 --> 39:52.847
[SPEAKER_01]: And though we crowd the dance floor in the space that has been made specifically for us, our present seems to create even more space for those like us, for those yet to be, all heaven has broken out.
39:53.548 --> 40:07.596
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is why I think to myself, as past and present in future claps on themselves, hope, this is the liberation that waits for us through the smoke and isn't that holy, isn't that love, isn't that worth living for?
40:08.801 --> 40:21.289
[SPEAKER_01]: And I felt like it was sort of it brings it all together like his finding himself, finding spirituality and God and himself, and then himself in the world.
40:21.529 --> 40:21.930
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
40:22.670 --> 40:28.274
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think that translates well to the last, I think it's technically an epilogue, right?
40:28.314 --> 40:28.534
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
40:29.274 --> 40:37.460
[SPEAKER_00]: Just the idea of finding acceptance in all these phases of himself because the book really is from him at a young age.
40:38.171 --> 40:42.133
[SPEAKER_00]: to finding love and happiness in a committed relationship.
40:42.153 --> 40:45.075
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's all these different
lives that he lived, right?
40:45.575 --> 40:48.136
[SPEAKER_00]: And like, how can we do that to ourselves too?
40:48.237 --> 40:56.381
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, that we have different our own chapters, our own short stories, and what person we were during that time?
40:57.141 --> 41:00.283
[SPEAKER_00]: So the epilogue was actually the first thing I read.
41:00.343 --> 41:02.644
[SPEAKER_00]: And the reason I did that was... You read the epilogue first?
41:03.325 --> 41:04.205
[SPEAKER_00]: When I reread it.
41:04.525 --> 41:04.745
[SPEAKER_01]: OK.
41:04.765 --> 41:06.827
[SPEAKER_00]: So I did the audiobook first, which, again,
41:08.069 --> 41:21.319
[SPEAKER_00]: suggest because he reads it and you told me that and I I should have known this, but I wasn't aware like audio books are such a thing and like authors don't always get to read their audio books right like they need to be able to do it.
41:21.619 --> 41:23.740
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, I mean I'm a proponent for it.
41:23.760 --> 41:30.125
[SPEAKER_01]: There's probably like some audio book produced for listening to this tell me like well You don't know this and this and this and I'm like yes
41:30.970 --> 41:36.555
[SPEAKER_01]: But I've talked to authors before who wanted to do their audio book and we're told no, or they had an audition for it.
41:36.915 --> 41:38.356
[SPEAKER_01]: Dation for your own book.
41:38.436 --> 41:39.797
[SPEAKER_01]: That's pretty common.
41:39.817 --> 41:41.839
[SPEAKER_00]: Our Eric Thomas, if you had to audition, shame.
41:42.800 --> 41:43.840
[SPEAKER_00]: Not on you, on them.
41:45.442 --> 41:53.308
[SPEAKER_00]: But I'm so glad you read it, because there was again something about hearing him read these words and these passages that we're reading, you can listen to him, say them.
41:53.348 --> 41:54.129
[SPEAKER_00]: So it's even better.
41:54.629 --> 41:55.450
[SPEAKER_00]: Just, uh,
41:56.327 --> 41:56.827
[SPEAKER_00]: the idea.
41:56.847 --> 41:58.027
[SPEAKER_00]: Not the last one trying to thought.
41:59.608 --> 42:03.108
[SPEAKER_01]: We were talking about the last, the last, the last.
42:03.148 --> 42:03.709
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, I, sorry.
42:03.729 --> 42:10.110
[SPEAKER_00]: I listened to the book first, and then which so much of his book is kind of about a dialogue.
42:10.150 --> 42:15.691
[SPEAKER_00]: It's really interesting to then read it because it is so, it's like he's talking to himself.
42:16.331 --> 42:19.512
[SPEAKER_00]: And he can do that in audiobook for him, he can do it in written form, amazing.
42:20.805 --> 42:26.468
[SPEAKER_00]: But because in the first chapter, he talks about how he would read the last page of the book first.
42:26.528 --> 42:26.768
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
42:26.948 --> 42:30.409
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just, I have heard that there is like a group of people to do this.
42:30.810 --> 42:31.330
[SPEAKER_00]: I cannot.
42:31.710 --> 42:32.731
[SPEAKER_00]: I cannot imagine.
42:32.811 --> 42:33.511
[SPEAKER_00]: You don't do this.
42:34.852 --> 42:35.472
[SPEAKER_01]: I know.
42:35.492 --> 42:36.272
[SPEAKER_01]: Exactly.
42:36.292 --> 42:37.553
[SPEAKER_01]: Like, who's wrong with you?
42:38.993 --> 42:39.754
[SPEAKER_00]: No, bizarre.
42:40.114 --> 42:40.314
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
42:40.654 --> 42:43.816
[SPEAKER_00]: I caught my son doing that recently and he's a young reader, but...
42:44.960 --> 42:51.826
[SPEAKER_00]: Reeds ambitiously, I'll say, you know, like maybe punches above his weight and I don't like be reading the end of the book.
42:51.846 --> 42:55.229
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, dude, you just picked that up He's like, Ash will know how it happens.
42:55.249 --> 42:56.390
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm like, no, no, no, no.
42:56.550 --> 42:57.831
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, we're not doing that.
42:57.851 --> 42:58.892
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, Jeremy.
42:59.072 --> 43:03.896
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, but so I wanted to read the epilom because I remember it being so funny when I was listening to it.
43:03.976 --> 43:05.758
[SPEAKER_00]: And so just in brief, it's like
43:06.905 --> 43:33.295
[SPEAKER_00]: 19-year-old Eric or Eric Thomas is then met by 36-year-old him and then 52-year-old him and then and they just keep coming these different aged versions of him and they're trying to an impart a message and I just thought I like took a minute and thought like how cool would it be to be able to talk to my 18-year-old self.
43:34.751 --> 43:36.112
[SPEAKER_00]: my 31-year-old cell.
43:36.132 --> 43:37.492
[SPEAKER_00]: It's like cringing a little bit.
43:37.692 --> 43:38.393
[SPEAKER_00]: Ritching.
43:38.453 --> 43:43.975
[SPEAKER_00]: But also just like the 19-year-old, the 19-year-old just wanted to know that it would be okay.
43:44.355 --> 43:44.696
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
43:44.796 --> 43:51.479
[SPEAKER_00]: If you think about like what you were worried and stressed about at all those various phases of life, and then
43:52.659 --> 43:54.801
[SPEAKER_00]: I think he gets up to like, seventy nine.
43:54.901 --> 43:55.201
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
43:55.361 --> 43:57.123
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, so the end.
43:57.783 --> 43:59.024
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, I'm like flinchin.
43:59.044 --> 44:01.506
[SPEAKER_01]: I think it's as ancient Eric 75.
44:01.546 --> 44:03.068
[SPEAKER_01]: I'm seeing 75.
44:03.188 --> 44:04.709
[SPEAKER_01]: And then yeah, ancient Eric.
44:05.630 --> 44:06.891
[SPEAKER_00]: Oh, so maybe we can call him Eric.
44:07.791 --> 44:08.332
[SPEAKER_00]: Eric ancient.
44:08.372 --> 44:09.032
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, Eric.
44:09.353 --> 44:09.633
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
44:09.933 --> 44:13.696
[SPEAKER_00]: And I'm from mission from the book.
44:13.716 --> 44:19.641
[SPEAKER_00]: But just the idea that like you can be the one to teach yourself.
44:20.697 --> 44:22.399
[SPEAKER_00]: I thought that was so special.
44:22.679 --> 44:32.085
[SPEAKER_00]: Like, yes, you can absolutely learn from other people from people older than you, people that you respect, some work colleagues or mentors, friends,
whatever, but you yourself can teach.
44:32.946 --> 44:33.907
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, something.
44:34.347 --> 44:37.729
[SPEAKER_00]: And if only we could suspend reality and mean ourselves all in one place.
44:37.789 --> 44:41.232
[SPEAKER_00]: But it felt very like King's Cross and Harry Potter for me.
44:41.754 --> 44:47.438
[SPEAKER_00]: You know, he's very as different like this white space and double door in his robes anyway.
44:47.478 --> 44:48.458
[SPEAKER_00]: And I just loved it.
44:48.919 --> 45:02.087
[SPEAKER_00]: I loved the way that that ended because it felt like it brought all these different pieces of him into one space and how hysterical would it be to have them on one space because if nothing he's just a really funny guy He is.
45:02.287 --> 45:06.610
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, and I think something I got from this from that as well as like
45:08.053 --> 45:11.374
[SPEAKER_01]: And this is hard for me, again, going back to my desire to be good.
45:11.394 --> 45:17.517
[SPEAKER_01]: And we perfect, and everything, you know, of like understanding that you are going to be messy sometimes totally.
45:17.797 --> 45:23.040
[SPEAKER_01]: And there's, you know, meeting yourself at 19, you might just be like, girl, what are you doing?
45:23.100 --> 45:30.543
[SPEAKER_01]: But just, you kind of, maybe you have to go through some of those experiences of having the messiness.
45:31.589 --> 45:33.291
[SPEAKER_01]: to learn and grow.
45:33.391 --> 45:40.459
[SPEAKER_01]: And so I think he reading this kind of made me feel okay about like the human experience that I have.
45:40.940 --> 45:41.260
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
45:41.580 --> 45:44.664
[SPEAKER_01]: And seeing his him being so honest about so many things.
45:44.744 --> 45:48.348
[SPEAKER_01]: And I was like, oh, well, I've experienced that too.
45:48.548 --> 45:50.270
[SPEAKER_01]: And I guess I can be honest about it.
45:50.370 --> 45:51.852
[SPEAKER_01]: So, right, anyway.
45:52.352 --> 45:52.733
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
45:53.610 --> 46:08.381
[SPEAKER_01]: I mean, I maybe this book and other things is like, you know, I want to credit it with like starting podcast to be honest with you because it's just so it was such an impact for me when I read it and I love him so much I don't read news letters.
46:08.481 --> 46:11.203
[SPEAKER_01]: I read his newsletter every time it comes out I subscribe.
46:11.343 --> 46:12.364
[SPEAKER_00]: I'm going to subscribe.
46:12.424 --> 46:12.744
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:12.824 --> 46:13.565
[SPEAKER_01]: Okay.
46:13.585 --> 46:14.545
[SPEAKER_01]: So he's got all of that.
46:15.126 --> 46:17.087
[SPEAKER_01]: Who would we recommend this book for?
46:17.688 --> 46:18.028
[SPEAKER_01]: We're like.
46:18.608 --> 46:21.451
[SPEAKER_01]: I never say, I'm always like, don't say everybody.
46:21.611 --> 46:25.435
[SPEAKER_01]: I know, but I'm like, in this time, I'm like, maybe everybody should read it.
46:25.455 --> 46:30.400
[SPEAKER_00]: I think also as we've intimidated, it's like, dark days.
46:30.700 --> 46:38.548
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think Eric does a really great job of not showing away from the bad, but finding the good amongst the bad.
46:38.568 --> 46:39.089
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
46:40.230 --> 46:53.719
[SPEAKER_00]: I just felt like I really needed that these last couple months, and so it was so good to see someone who could potentially have a much harder life than me, still find humor.
46:54.139 --> 47:00.463
[SPEAKER_00]: And that I think is what was so powerful for me that he lived through the same shit show that we did.
47:01.253 --> 47:20.875
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, and I think I was saying it like again his election night party where I'm Clinton lost And he was saying he would like turned off the election coverage like absolutely not no party of mine We're gonna have a good time and I just I think that's inspiring So I think I think if if anyone is maybe struggling to find the good.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah
47:21.757 --> 47:29.045
[SPEAKER_00]: because I think he does an exceptional job of finding the good and finding the humor that we're all capable of doing.
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[SPEAKER_00]: And wouldn't the world just be a slightly better place?
47:32.889 --> 47:34.571
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes, yeah, yeah.
47:34.671 --> 47:36.153
[SPEAKER_01]: So absolutely, 100%.
47:36.173 --> 47:37.114
[SPEAKER_01]: I love that.
47:37.314 --> 47:37.875
[SPEAKER_00]: Thank you.
47:37.915 --> 47:42.520
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's been, and I'm glad you enjoyed it now because I said I read it in 2020, and I was like,
47:43.134 --> 47:47.938
[SPEAKER_01]: Was it specific to that period of time, but like hearing you talk with so relevant.
47:48.098 --> 47:54.162
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay, unfortunately, but it will always, I think it something will always be bad.
47:54.542 --> 48:00.147
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, something will always be bad like, yeah, pessimist, but yeah, okay, wonderful.
48:01.146 --> 48:07.309
[SPEAKER_01]: Is there anything you want to put on a spot like it on today, or thing exciting?
48:07.409 --> 48:07.709
[SPEAKER_00]: Sure.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So right now, the museum I work for has an exhibition on view, focusing on artist free to call out.
48:14.333 --> 48:21.797
[SPEAKER_00]: And I think my work has to do with like working on exhibition narrative and the different projects that help tell that narrative.
48:21.837 --> 48:23.978
[SPEAKER_00]: So things like label copy or audio guide.
48:24.619 --> 48:34.240
[SPEAKER_00]: of which we did both, but the narrative that we're trying to tell with Kahlo is that she did try to make the best of a pretty
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[SPEAKER_00]: crappy situation, her physical disability, having to do with an accident, polio, and but what she was still able to create and do in such a short life, she did die pretty young.
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[SPEAKER_00]: But yeah, I would just recommend if for anyone who is in the Richmond area that I think that exhibition is a little different for us right now and offers a lot of opportunity for people.
48:55.843 --> 49:03.525
[SPEAKER_00]: We specifically did these new labels that are for family audiences so that they can kind of read a very like
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[SPEAKER_00]: quick thing about a work of art and then just have a couple questions to ask a kid that they're with.
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[SPEAKER_00]: So it's a real win for us that you're not looking at a brochure or scanning something or, you know, it's just on the wall right next to the art.
49:17.955 --> 49:18.515
[SPEAKER_01]: Yes.
49:18.675 --> 49:22.538
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, and that's, you got your mom, I on it, you're like, wrecked.
49:22.878 --> 49:24.259
[SPEAKER_01]: I know what these children.
49:24.359 --> 49:25.460
[SPEAKER_00]: I made a test of it.
49:25.480 --> 49:25.780
[SPEAKER_00]: Yeah.
49:28.483 --> 49:33.427
[SPEAKER_00]: Anyway, I think it kind of relates to this content finding finding the good and the bad.
49:33.467 --> 49:34.528
[SPEAKER_01]: 100% yeah.
49:34.548 --> 49:39.412
[SPEAKER_01]: So Frida, Eric, Icon, love it.
49:39.792 --> 49:42.554
[SPEAKER_01]: So we're going to have to read, you're going to have to read congratulations.
49:42.574 --> 49:46.057
[SPEAKER_01]: The best is over and then we'll come back and do that one, two.
49:46.817 --> 49:49.099
[SPEAKER_01]: We know what we'll say that for your 40th birthday.
49:49.119 --> 49:49.539
[SPEAKER_01]: Perfect.
49:49.639 --> 49:50.620
[SPEAKER_01]: One of the two years.
49:50.640 --> 49:51.621
[SPEAKER_01]: We got two years.
49:51.661 --> 49:51.941
[SPEAKER_00]: Okay.
49:52.281 --> 49:52.482
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
49:52.582 --> 49:53.923
[SPEAKER_01]: Well, it will be great.
49:54.043 --> 49:54.803
[SPEAKER_00]: Yes, it will be.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Eric.
49:56.325 --> 49:56.565
[SPEAKER_01]: Yeah.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you, Eric.
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[SPEAKER_01]: We love you.
49:59.097 --> 50:03.600
[SPEAKER_01]: Uh, I'm trying not to fangirl you just so hard that you've never want to ever talk to me.
50:03.620 --> 50:05.761
[SPEAKER_01]: But, all right.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Thank you for spending some time with me and my guest for an episode of Drinks in the Library.
50:14.614 --> 50:20.199
[SPEAKER_01]: For more information about the show, you can find us on Instagram at Drinks in the Library.
50:20.759 --> 50:28.566
[SPEAKER_01]: On the World Wide Web, Drinks in the Library.com, or shoot me an email at DrinksPod at gmail.com.
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[SPEAKER_01]: Until next time, cheers!