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Conan O'Brien needs a fan. Want to talk to Conan?
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Visit teamcoco.com slash callconan.
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Okay, let's get started.
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Hi, Grace.
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Welcome to Conan O'Brien Needs a Fan.
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Hello there. Nice to be here. Thank you for having me.
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How are you, Grace?
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I'm very good.
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How are you?
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Well, lovely to meet you. And you look fantastic. You
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really do.
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Thank you. There's so much to talk about here because...
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It says on my little piece of paper here that
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you are in Bristol, England.
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Is that correct?
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That is correct.
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I was in London about a week and a half ago.
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So sorry I missed you.
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I'm sorry you missed me too.
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She doesn't sound sorry at all. Yeah, you seem... Dodged
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a bullet.
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You seem quite pleased that you dodged the serial international creep.
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Now.
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I don't know much other than it says here that
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you are a body modification assistant. I know nothing about
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this topic. Talk to me about, I see that you
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have tattoos, but what does body modification include?
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So I'm actually a tattoo artist, but when I was
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coming up in the industry, I was a body piercer
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who then met a body modification artist and became their assistant.
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And Body modification in the realm that I'm talking about
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would be things like tongue splits, scarification, subdermal implants, the
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removal of certain things. Yeah, kind of just coming up
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in the alternative scene in Plymouth where I grew up.
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Yes.
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Being into punk music and stuff like that, I was
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always seeing these heavily tattooed and pierced like singers in
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bands and stuff like that. And it very much inspired
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me and it got me kind of like wanting to
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learn more about it. And I was always fascinated by it.
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And I was always wanting to get certain things done.
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Like I was dying to get my tongue split when,
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since I was like probably 14, 15.
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Oh, talk to me about that. Let's start with tongue splitting.
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Cause I don't know anything about that. I know that
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people can get a piercing on their tongue, but I
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didn't know about a tongue splitting.
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What's that?
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Uh is this can i show you yeah yeah oh.
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My god oh my god that is you have a
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forked tongue yes i can't believe a thing you're saying uh.
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What so that's for appearance right that doesn't it doesn't well.
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Actually it would give your tongue more surface area i
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think yeah.
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So like Your tongue is two separate muscles. So that's
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why this works so well. You can move them independently.
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But yeah, it makes for great life. I can pick
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food out of both sides of my mouth at the
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same time.
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Oh my God.
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And you could stick your tongue out at two
Load full transcript
separate
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people across the room.
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Yeah.
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Oh, Jesus, man.
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Definitely. Good point.
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Yes.
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That's not cool.
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Yes, it is.
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Yeah.
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That feels like it's not cool.
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That's actually really cool.
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That's not a cool use. You know what?
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Many times I've wanted to stick my tongue out, but
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I have to choose which person to do it.
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And they're usually on either side of a room.
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Yes.
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Some distance from me.
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Then this is the procedure for you.
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That's exactly what I've already done.
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Does it.
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Uh, there must be some ways in which it's inconvenient.
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Like maybe not if they're licking ice cream. How's it, uh,
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is it, is it, do you, you must taste more
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ice cream?
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No, cause there's not taste buds in the inside of
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your tongue, right? You're not getting new taste buds, are you?
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Well, probably not.
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I taste exactly like my taste. Nothing was different apart
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from the fact that these two things in my mouth
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now move independently, but I'm, Honestly, it felt very freeing
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to get my tongue split. As soon as it was
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done and I started moving it, I was like, oh
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my God, it feels like my tongue has been in
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a vice this whole time.
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Did it change your speech at all?
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So I did have a slight lisp when I first
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got it done. And I had to kind of train
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myself to not have one. But it wasn't like severe
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or anything like that. It's kind of all dependent on
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the person. But yeah, it's... It was something I'd always
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wanted done from a young age. And then I got
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a piercing apprenticeship in London. And the woman who was
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my mentor, she was like this radical, heavily modified Polish
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woman who was terrifying. She basically was able to facilitate
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that for me because she was like the gatekeeper to
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body modification for me. And she opened the door and
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introduced me to people who could facilitate all these sorts
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of things, you know?
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So there's so many things. You said you've done something
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to your belly button. What did you have done to
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your belly button?
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I removed it.
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How do you remove a belly button?
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You can't do that.
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I didn't know you could do that. So what are the,
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is it just smooth there now? There's no sign of
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anything ever having been there?
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Yes, exactly. Like a Barbie doll.
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What did you do with it? Yeah, what happened?
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I actually said so. So I'm 37 now and I
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got it done when I was like 1920. So what
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I did was I took it, dried it and set
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it in resin in a heart shape. And I gave
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it to the boy that I fancied at the time.
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Oh, my God. You know, that's a mafia death threat.
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That's right up with a fish in your mailbox.
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A belly button, yeah. A belly button in your mailbox.
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Oh, my God.
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Did you get it back when you guys broke up?
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No, I never got it back.
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Oh, my God. You don't got your belly button. You know,
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it's so great.
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You guys break up, or he breaks up with you,
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and you go to his door, and you're crying, and
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you're like, I want my.
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Belly button back.
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I had a girlfriend once demand the sweater she knit
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me back because we broke up.
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And so this is the same thing.
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You also had your eyes tattooed purple. Are you talking
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about the iris of your eyes?
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Yeah.
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So I don't know.
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Oh my God.
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How do you do? Wait, I don't understand how that works.
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Your
eyes are purple.
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Why have you not been grabbed by the government for
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being an alien?
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Well, I'm actually moving to America at the end of
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the year, and it is one of my fears.
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Trust me, it's not going to be your top fear, Grace.
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Plenty of other shit going on here right now.
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Can't wait. You'll soon forget all your modifications. So her
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eyeballs are tattooed purple. Does that hurt when they do it?
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So it wasn't necessarily painful, like the procedure, because it's
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done by injection. And like, so imagine that the white
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part of your eye is covered.
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In saran wrap.
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That's what you guys call it, right?
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Yeah. Oh, you're all ready for America. Don't worry about it.
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I am.
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I'm ready to go.
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Now just learn Captain Crunch in your set.
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So yeah, they put, imagine like your eye, the white
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of your eye has this kind of clear layer over it.
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And there is like a pocket in between that where
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the ink sits.
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The sclera.
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Yeah, exactly. The sclera.
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There you go.
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They basically inject around the eye. I've had 12 injections
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in each eye.
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Oh my goodness.
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And it kind of spreads out, like the little bubble
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of ink kind of forms on top of the eye.
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And then within like an hour, it starts to disperse
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and like spread out.
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So this in no way affects your vision?
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I have never had any issues with my vision, but
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I'm not going to sit here and say that, no,
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there's no risk. There's massive risk. And people have gone blind.
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People have lost their eyes. I was the assistant of
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the body modification artist who invented the procedure. So I was,
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you know, assisting a lot of eyeball tattoos. And I
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loved the way that it looked. But I obviously was
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a little bit cautious
about how risky it was. But,
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you know, being young and dumb. And after a while,
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I was like, fuck it, let's go.
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Can I share?
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Yes.
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Yes, we can always have it removed.
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Okay.
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And give it to a former lover.
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Yeah, exactly.
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The fuck it is now being given to my girlfriend. Okay,
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so these are the... You do piercings. You pierce ears.
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You also pierce nipples. And you pierce women's genitalia, but
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not men's. men's genitalia.
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Is that correct? I feel like this is a trial,
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by the way.
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I know.
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Yeah, the way you're asking it. You sound very square. Dr. Lecter.
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Is it not true? Object argumentative. So you pierce women's...
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Say it.
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Say it.
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Say it.
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Sacred spaces. No.
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Oh, God.
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Yes, I pierce clitorises and labia.
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There's no evidence there's a clitoris. None. I'm a clitoris denier.
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I'm on record.
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You don't think that they exist?
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I've never seen any evidence. Listen, Grace. You don't want
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to go down this road with me. It's not pleasant.
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Uh, no.
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So, um, but you don't do women, you don't do penises.
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Is that right?
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So, yeah, I, I started off as a piercing when
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I was a teenager and I learned to do everything. My,
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my mentor taught me how to pierce everything. And I
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did that for, for years. I worked in Soho in
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London and I'm sure you've been to Soho. It's a
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fun place.
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I do.
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I love Soho. Yes.
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It's a great place, but, Because of it being in
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central London and being so next to, so like I
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worked on Wardour Street, which is really close to where
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all like the fetish shops and the sex shops are,
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which don't get me
wrong, love all of that. But
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because of that, we'd get like an influx of older
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gentlemen who would like to get their genitals pierced.
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Interesting.
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Yes, I was happy to oblige. But then I noticed
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a pattern where there was just like, you know, they
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would get a piercing and then it would fall out
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two weeks later. And they'd come in and be like,
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can you put it back in for me? And then
256
00:11:52.139 --> 00:11:54.190
it got to the point where it's like, oopsie doopsie.
257
00:11:54.250 --> 00:11:55.070
It fell out again.
258
00:11:55.110 --> 00:11:56.370
Oopsie.
259
00:11:56.769 --> 00:11:57.429
Oopsie.
260
00:11:59.029 --> 00:12:03.269
I'm done with that. I would pierce a female genitalia
261
00:12:03.429 --> 00:12:07.340
all day, every day, all day long. Love that. Cause
262
00:12:07.360 --> 00:12:09.679
that just feels like a bonding sister moment, you know?
263
00:12:09.940 --> 00:12:10.159
Sure.
264
00:12:10.460 --> 00:12:10.600
Yeah.
265
00:12:11.139 --> 00:12:13.049
I mean, I'm saying, sure, I just don't know. Yeah, yeah.
266
00:12:13.070 --> 00:12:15.110
I'm going to be honest with you. I have to
267
00:12:15.149 --> 00:12:17.399
be honest with you. I don't know. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
268
00:12:17.419 --> 00:12:17.639
Bonding.
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With TUI, there's more choice than you think.
295
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296
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Booked.
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Fly from your local airport? Of course.
299
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Just a hotel?
300
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301
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304
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TUI. uh how does much does all of this cost
305
00:14:26.970 --> 00:14:29.490
is it expensive i imagine because i don't when i
306
00:14:29.529 --> 00:14:31.409
get my eyes dyed i don't want to go the
307
00:14:31.490 --> 00:14:33.820
cheap route i want to get the best person is
308
00:14:33.879 --> 00:14:35.379
all of this expensive.
309
00:14:35.340 --> 00:14:39.820
So um body modification is definitely more expensive than like
310
00:14:39.860 --> 00:14:44.139
piercing and um because it's more high risk but when
311
00:14:44.159 --> 00:14:46.909
i got all my modifications done like over 15 years
312
00:14:46.970 --> 00:14:51.080
ago so it's I'm probably a bit different now. Like
313
00:14:51.100 --> 00:14:53.500
I paid 250 pounds to get my tongue split. And
314
00:14:53.539 --> 00:14:56.620
I think that's probably pretty cheap compared to what the
315
00:14:56.659 --> 00:14:58.100
going rate is today.
316
00:14:58.120 --> 00:14:58.600
Yeah.
317
00:14:58.879 --> 00:15:01.259
But yeah, I think, I think the eyes are at
318
00:15:01.320 --> 00:15:03.139
least a couple of grand. I'm not sure.
319
00:15:03.360 --> 00:15:03.620
Yeah.
320
00:15:04.139 --> 00:15:05.559
I didn't pay for mine. I wasn't doing that.
321
00:15:05.779 --> 00:15:08.909
I'll do it for 20. I'll do it.
322
00:15:08.899 --> 00:15:09.000
$ 20.
323
00:15:08.940 --> 00:15:10.200
You're going to do it for 20.
324
00:15:10.200 --> 00:15:10.419
Okay.
325
00:15:10.620 --> 00:15:12.200
Well that's, no one's going to go to you.
326
00:15:12.379 --> 00:15:15.340
But I'll split your whole face for free.
327
00:15:17.679 -->
00:15:23.250
What about a penis? Splitting a penis is a very- Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
328
00:15:23.330 --> 00:15:27.529
Whoa, whoa. Let's back it up. You can split a penis?
329
00:15:27.590 --> 00:15:29.049
He's flacking it up because he's interested.
330
00:15:29.110 --> 00:15:29.409
Yeah.
331
00:15:30.389 --> 00:15:31.879
Yes, you can split a penis.
332
00:15:31.929 --> 00:15:32.340
What?
333
00:15:32.519 --> 00:15:36.000
But I don't understand. I in no way understand.
334
00:15:36.440 --> 00:15:37.240
Okay, let's go.
335
00:15:37.159 --> 00:15:39.740
Through the levels. There are levels to this shit, right?
336
00:15:39.879 --> 00:15:40.919
Okay.
337
00:15:40.940 --> 00:15:44.850
So level one would be, Imagine that the head of
338
00:15:44.889 --> 00:15:47.269
the penis is a birthday cake, right?
339
00:15:47.389 --> 00:15:47.629
Yeah.
340
00:15:47.840 --> 00:15:50.320
And obviously you have the urethra, which is the center
341
00:15:50.340 --> 00:15:50.820
of the cake.
342
00:15:50.879 --> 00:15:51.080
Yes.
343
00:15:51.120 --> 00:15:53.220
And then you have that seam that goes down the
344
00:15:53.279 --> 00:15:54.620
back of the head of the penis.
345
00:15:54.700 --> 00:15:55.059
Yes, yes.
346
00:15:55.259 --> 00:15:55.460
Right?
347
00:15:55.820 --> 00:15:58.649
So imagine you are cutting the first slice of cake.
348
00:15:59.370 --> 00:16:01.940
Not the one, two, just the first cut.
349
00:16:01.970 --> 00:16:02.309
Yeah.
350
00:16:02.769 --> 00:16:07.200
You cut down that seam. and expose the urethra, right?
351
00:16:07.220 --> 00:16:08.220
So this is the penis.
352
00:16:08.240 --> 00:16:08.879
Okay, okay.
353
00:16:08.899 --> 00:16:10.500
And you expose the urethra.
354
00:16:10.620 --> 00:16:10.980
Okay.
355
00:16:11.080 --> 00:16:16.259
Then blend two would be either exposing the whole head
356
00:16:16.759 --> 00:16:20.399
or continuing to expose the bottom of the urethra going down.
357
00:16:20.539 --> 00:16:23.580
But what's the purpose? Do you end up with two penises?
358
00:16:24.840 --> 00:16:28.659
Well, some people who go very extreme with it do.
359
00:16:29.600 --> 00:16:31.100
They'll end up with this.
360
00:16:31.879 --> 00:16:33.000
Oh!
361
00:16:33.039 --> 00:16:36.889
Sorry, just this naive, but everything then still functions? Yeah,
362
00:16:36.909 --> 00:16:39.169
how do you pee if the urethra is just dangling
363
00:16:39.190 --> 00:16:41.009
in the wind? And can you have sex with two
364
00:16:41.049 --> 00:16:43.990
women across the room? We were going to get to that.
365
00:16:44.009 --> 00:16:45.070
We're getting to that, man.
366
00:16:45.090 --> 00:16:48.070
I think that depends on your anatomy. The bigger the anatomy,
367
00:16:48.129 --> 00:16:51.370
I'm guessing the more that we can do with it,
368
00:16:51.429 --> 00:16:53.580
the more opportunity there is for that sort of thing.
369
00:16:53.600 --> 00:16:55.840
You can get fancier with a bigger cake. You can
370
00:16:55.879 --> 00:17:02.649
do more. Let's talk about the smaller cake. A cupcake,
371
00:17:02.669 --> 00:17:08.259
for instance. A mini cupcake. Not even a cupcake. One
372
00:17:08.279 --> 00:17:13.460
of those mini cupcakes. Maybe a Reese's piece. Talk about
373
00:17:13.500 --> 00:17:19.720
the mini Reese's piece. A buttercup. Oh, my God. You
374
00:17:19.740 --> 00:17:23.730
can't even get one candle on it. Well, anyway.
375
00:17:24.730 --> 00:17:28.190
I've never had... coitus with someone with a split penis.
376
00:17:28.230 --> 00:17:32.609
But from my understanding of talking to people, you can,
377
00:17:33.049 --> 00:17:36.950
once the penis is erect, put it together and Insert it.
378
00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:39.920
No, you've got to probably stay with one side.
379
00:17:39.940 --> 00:17:40.299
It has to.
380
00:17:40.339 --> 00:17:42.259
It has to, right? Yeah, it has to.
381
00:17:43.539 --> 00:17:46.299
If it's a good body modification artist, they will split
382
00:17:46.339 --> 00:17:47.220
the urethra.
383
00:17:47.539 --> 00:17:48.000
No!
384
00:17:48.119 --> 00:17:50.579
Double urethras? You get two streams when you pee.
385
00:17:51.019 --> 00:17:54.960
Well, no, you get no streams. You basically pee like
386
00:17:55.069 --> 00:17:56.680
a girl. You'd have to sit down.
387
00:17:56.700 --> 00:17:58.609
Oh, for Christ's sake.
388
00:17:58.700 --> 00:18:02.599
It's a gusher. Because it would just flow everywhere. You're
389
00:18:02.619 --> 00:18:05.069
cutting the hose in half. Do you know what I mean?
390
00:18:05.109 --> 00:18:06.490
So there's no direction.
391
00:18:06.549 --> 00:18:08.930
Why can't you not go right down the middle so
392
00:18:08.950 --> 00:18:11.049
that you still have a urethra and you pee out
393
00:18:11.089 --> 00:18:12.750
of one and the other one's just for fun?
394
00:18:13.690 --> 00:18:13.990
You know?
395
00:18:14.009 --> 00:18:16.710
Like, hey, you go and you urinate and I'm going
396
00:18:16.730 --> 00:18:17.799
to get to work over here.
397
00:18:17.819 --> 00:18:20.440
The penises are talking to each other.
398
00:18:20.500 --> 00:18:20.799
Yeah.
399
00:18:21.079 --> 00:18:23.859
Okay. Yeah, that's cool. Hey, buddy, I'm going over. I'm
400
00:18:23.880 --> 00:18:25.579
going to use the urinal. Why don't you go check
401
00:18:25.619 --> 00:18:26.000
her out?
402
00:18:27.000 --> 00:18:27.400
All right.
403
00:18:28.569 --> 00:18:30.730
But you know, you guys sit down to pee for
404
00:18:30.769 --> 00:18:33.210
a treat sometimes, right? So it's like you're just treating
405
00:18:33.230 --> 00:18:34.150
yourself all the time.
406
00:18:34.230 --> 00:18:36.599
No, I don't sit down as a treat.
407
00:18:36.960 --> 00:18:37.460
I don't know that.
408
00:18:37.519 --> 00:18:39.759
I mean, that's a sad life if that's my big
409
00:18:40.259 --> 00:18:43.980
treat I give myself. I think I'll sit down to pee.
410
00:18:44.740 --> 00:18:48.960
I haven't been happy for eight years. No, I've never
411
00:18:49.059 --> 00:18:51.240
done that as a treat. No, I don't think men
412
00:18:51.319 --> 00:18:52.180
sit down to pee.
413
00:18:52.240 --> 00:18:54.200
Yeah, not typically. Not men, I know.
414
00:18:54.220 --> 00:18:57.130
Maybe not in the US, but in the UK, that's
415
00:18:57.150 --> 00:18:57.869
how they treat themselves.
416
00:18:57.890 --> 00:18:59.430
Wow, it's the national pastime.
417
00:19:02.390 --> 00:19:05.210
God save the queen plays every time you sit. Oh,
418
00:19:05.259 --> 00:19:08.180
that was a tough week. I'm going to take a treat. Oh,
419
00:19:08.240 --> 00:19:09.619
sit down. So cool.
420
00:19:09.960 --> 00:19:14.220
You, okay, you have suggestions, it says here, for Conan
421
00:19:14.440 --> 00:19:16.730
and Sona as to what we should have done.
422
00:19:16.769 --> 00:19:19.309
What would you have me do?
423
00:19:19.349 --> 00:19:23.069
What should I, what, if I came in, Grace, and
424
00:19:23.089 --> 00:19:26.569
I said to you, Grace, what's your suggestion?
425
00:19:26.630 --> 00:19:27.210
What would you say?
426
00:19:27.730 --> 00:19:30.579
Well, because of the way you look, I feel like
427
00:19:30.640 --> 00:19:33.480
you have a bit of a Ken vibe. Like Ken
428
00:19:33.500 --> 00:19:36.359
doll vibe, you know? Bit of a Ken and Barbie vibe.
429
00:19:36.789 --> 00:19:39.750
And Ken doesn't have any nipples. So I would say, like,
430
00:19:39.849 --> 00:19:44.240
why don't you just elevate your Ken-ness and remove your nipples?
431
00:19:44.240 --> 00:19:44.650
Okay.
432
00:19:44.650 --> 00:19:47.019
So just smooth it's be smooth there can i remove
433
00:19:47.240 --> 00:19:50.019
can you remove nipples yeah.
434
00:19:50.180 --> 00:19:53.880
Absolutely especially it's not really something that's done on women
435
00:19:53.900 --> 00:19:56.960
because you have a higher chance of um getting mastitis
436
00:19:57.000 --> 00:19:58.880
but with men it's very.
437
00:19:58.769 --> 00:20:03.210
Easy so okay step one both nipples go and i
438
00:20:03.309 --> 00:20:08.000
gift them to matt and sona Once they're, of course,
439
00:20:08.039 --> 00:20:11.460
appropriately dried in a kiln. Okay, what else? Let's go
440
00:20:11.500 --> 00:20:13.940
to town. I will have my belly button removed as
441
00:20:14.000 --> 00:20:15.660
well because if you're going to go Ken, you might
442
00:20:15.680 --> 00:20:18.660
as well go all the way. And what do I
443
00:20:18.759 --> 00:20:22.910
do with my Don Johnson down south? What would you
444
00:20:22.950 --> 00:20:23.750
have me do with that?
445
00:20:24.609 --> 00:20:28.609
Well, in my experience, the more conservative looking the man
446
00:20:28.670 --> 00:20:30.970
is from the outside, the more extreme.
447
00:20:31.049 --> 00:20:33.670
Yes, I've got kinks. I've got major kinks.
448
00:20:34.650 --> 00:20:37.750
Exactly. So I think we go like full whole hog
449
00:20:37.910 --> 00:20:41.380
cock and ball torture, full penis split, and then a
450
00:20:41.579 --> 00:20:47.390
transcrotal with a 10 mil steel ring in it.
451
00:20:47.769 --> 00:20:50.190
Okay. Well, that's going to hold me up at the TSA.
452
00:20:50.289 --> 00:20:51.049
What is.
453
00:20:52.980 --> 00:20:54.369
What is a transcrotal?
454
00:20:54.630 --> 00:20:56.289
And that's the only downside I can see.
455
00:20:56.690 --> 00:20:56.930
Right.
456
00:20:57.250 --> 00:20:59.269
Sir, did you remove your keys? I did.
457
00:21:00.190 --> 00:21:04.009
But I have two penises and I have a bicycle
458
00:21:04.049 --> 00:21:05.829
lock jammed through my scrotum.
459
00:21:06.569 --> 00:21:08.369
Yes, exactly. Could that be the problem, sir?
460
00:21:08.390 --> 00:21:12.609
Or instead of having a transcrotal so we can get
461
00:21:12.670 --> 00:21:16.309
rid of the metal, we could always insert an extra
462
00:21:16.349 --> 00:21:18.410
set of testicles into your scrotum.
463
00:21:18.430 --> 00:21:20.359
You know what? Extra set?
464
00:21:20.380 --> 00:21:20.470
Right.
465
00:21:23.490 --> 00:21:27.420
That's being generous. I'd settle for a couple of BBs.
466
00:21:27.460 --> 00:21:31.660
I'd take anything right now. Jesus Christ.
467
00:21:32.980 --> 00:21:37.410
Oh my God. So just so I'm clear, that would
468
00:21:37.450 --> 00:21:40.009
be a split penis. So I have two of those.
469
00:21:40.089 --> 00:21:48.559
And then the mechanism, the apparatus goes through both testicles.
470
00:21:48.619 --> 00:21:49.460
Is that correct? Yes.
471
00:21:49.609 --> 00:21:52.869
So no, what happens is your scrotum is like this, right?
472
00:21:52.930 --> 00:21:58.809
Don't assume. Okay.
473
00:21:58.849 --> 00:22:01.150
So, so go ahead. So I'm sorry. I'm really trying
474
00:22:01.170 --> 00:22:04.579
to understand. So the, what happens to the, the, the scrotum?
475
00:22:04.910 --> 00:22:06.680
Yes, I understand. And what am I.
476
00:22:06.859 --> 00:22:08.680
Pushing your little eggs to the side?
477
00:22:08.700 --> 00:22:08.940
Yep.
478
00:22:09.079 --> 00:22:09.680
One each side.
479
00:22:09.720 --> 00:22:10.039
Right.
480
00:22:10.079 --> 00:22:13.059
And then they come the skin and they basically drive
481
00:22:13.440 --> 00:22:17.440
a scalpel blade through the testicles. And then, you know,
482
00:22:17.480 --> 00:22:19.730
like the, the, plugs that people have in their ears
483
00:22:19.769 --> 00:22:22.569
when they stretch the holes in their ears. It's essentially that.
484
00:22:22.589 --> 00:22:25.109
So you can have like a big stretch hole going
485
00:22:25.230 --> 00:22:29.539
through your scrotum. But imagine like a big metal ring
486
00:22:29.619 --> 00:22:31.309
going like through it.
487
00:22:31.619 --> 00:22:33.920
Oh, I've imagined it.
488
00:22:33.980 --> 00:22:34.240
Yeah.
489
00:22:34.380 --> 00:22:35.299
I'm going to tell you something.
490
00:22:35.440 --> 00:22:37.809
This whole time that you were describing that, I am
491
00:22:37.990 --> 00:22:42.089
gripping my hands together. I just noticed it so tightly
492
00:22:42.450 --> 00:22:44.150
that there's no blood in my, I'm.
493
00:22:44.150 --> 00:22:46.970
Literally, this is what I'm doing.
494
00:22:47.119 --> 00:22:50.859
I'm gripping my hands together because when you say you
495
00:22:50.960 --> 00:22:53.480
shove the testicles to either side and then, did you
496
00:22:53.500 --> 00:22:56.279
have the same reaction, Matt? Do you drive a, you
497
00:22:56.299 --> 00:23:00.180
basically take out a Black & Decker and you go
498
00:23:00.240 --> 00:23:00.880
at the, is.
499
00:23:00.819 --> 00:23:02.519
It the taint? Are we talking about the taint? No,
500
00:23:02.680 --> 00:23:03.980
it's not. It's the scrotum.
501
00:23:04.240 --> 00:23:06.779
I don't even have testicles and I was squirmy when
502
00:23:06.839 --> 00:23:09.509
she was, when Grace was describing what happened.
503
00:23:09.529 --> 00:23:11.769
I don't think I could, I don't see the purpose
504
00:23:11.809 --> 00:23:14.829
of a split penis. I just don't. Well, you're boring.
505
00:23:15.849 --> 00:23:18.650
And I feel like I feel like I'm also boring. Like,
506
00:23:18.809 --> 00:23:20.829
I didn't know we could do this to our bodies.
507
00:23:21.049 --> 00:23:22.759
And I think it's really cool that we can.
508
00:23:22.799 --> 00:23:23.079
No, no.
509
00:23:23.579 --> 00:23:25.359
A lot of this sounds really fascinating to me. I
510
00:23:25.400 --> 00:23:27.339
have no problem with it. I'm talking about me personally.
511
00:23:27.420 --> 00:23:30.779
So if in your single days you got it on
512
00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:32.720
with a guy you met at the clubs because, you know,
513
00:23:32.740 --> 00:23:34.130
you had a you played it fast and loose.
514
00:23:35.450 --> 00:23:35.890
Okay.
515
00:23:35.910 --> 00:23:39.289
No, no, in a very good, healthy, empowering way. But
516
00:23:39.690 --> 00:23:43.059
it's time to get to town. The guy drops his
517
00:23:43.119 --> 00:23:46.000
pants and suddenly his penis.
518
00:23:45.779 --> 00:23:49.200
Goes, you know, one goes east, one goes west. Would
519
00:23:49.220 --> 00:23:51.180
you freak out? And each one is going, pick me,
520
00:23:51.259 --> 00:23:54.089
pick me. Could we rubber band it and then just
521
00:23:54.130 --> 00:23:57.369
insert it together? Or do they, when they get erect?
522
00:23:57.670 --> 00:24:00.730
I think Grace was saying it just naturally comes together
523
00:24:01.130 --> 00:24:02.430
when it gets erect.
524
00:24:02.990 --> 00:24:05.890
I would want a series of clamps. I would insist
525
00:24:05.950 --> 00:24:11.730
on a series of clamps, rubber bands, and the occasional
526
00:24:11.869 --> 00:24:13.170
use of Elmer's glue.
527
00:24:13.990 --> 00:24:17.750
Maybe a gasket. But interestingly, before you answer that, let's
528
00:24:17.789 --> 00:24:20.490
make this a two-parter. So come back next time and
529
00:24:20.509 --> 00:24:22.519
we can talk more about this with Grace.
530
00:24:23.509 --> 00:24:25.250
Grace, you are the gift that keeps on giving. Do
531
00:24:25.269 --> 00:24:26.809
you mind staying on a little longer, Grace? Can you
532
00:24:26.829 --> 00:24:28.309
stay on a little longer, Grace? Is that all right?
533
00:24:28.390 --> 00:24:28.970
Of course.
534
00:24:29.150 --> 00:24:30.009
Yeah, absolutely.
535
00:24:30.049 --> 00:24:31.329
I'll stay as long as you need me.
536
00:24:32.799 --> 00:24:36.980
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