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What if feeling lost doesn't always mean you're in danger?
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In this episode, we're talking about what it means to heal, trust God, and learn how to wander again.
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Welcome to Breaking Free with Katina Lee, a Christian, faith-based podcast and a safe place to land.
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As you heal, reconnect with God, and rediscover joy.
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Here we're gonna speak peace over fear, truth over shame, and Jesus over the places that still hurt.
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Whether you're carrying heartbreak, trauma, anxiety, loss, or wounds that still haven't fully healed, you're welcome here.
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So take a deep breath, settle in, and let's take the next step forward together.
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And honestly, I did not fully realize how much that trip was going to reveal to me emotionally until I was there.
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Because on the surface, it was just a trip, right?
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It was a beautiful city, historic streets, gardens, water, old trees, long walks, quiet mornings with myself.
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But underneath all of that, something deeper was happening in me.
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One of the things I noticed almost immediately was how anxious my body became whenever I felt even slightly disoriented, not unsafe, not in danger, just unsure of where I was at.
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And that surprised me a little because logically I knew I was okay.
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I had a GPS on my phone guiding me everywhere I went.
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There were people around.
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I knew I could figure it out.
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And yet there were these moments walking through these trails and gardens at the Magnolia Plantation where my heart would suddenly just start racing.
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I would feel panicky and I would start breathing heavy, especially in places where the paths curved or split or became unfamiliar.
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There were moments when I couldn't even fully enjoy the beauty around me because part of me was focused on what if I can't find my way out?
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And I know that's silly, but that is literally what was going through my body.
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Like, what if I can't get out of here?
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And so I would stop, I would breathe slowly, and I would talk myself through it.
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You're okay.
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You're not trapped, you're not actually lost, you're gonna find your way through.
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And eventually I always did, but it still happened multiple times.
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And the more it kept happening, the more I started wondering why is my body reacting this way?
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Why does it have such a strong reaction to uncertainty?
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Why does feeling temporarily disoriented create so much panic in me?
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And honestly, I still don't fully know the answer.
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Maybe somewhere in my childhood, there were moments emotionally where I felt trapped, uh lost, unsafe, alone.
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Maybe my nervous system learned early that uncertainty felt dangerous.
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Because that's the thing about trauma sometimes.
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Your body learns the lesson long before your mind has the language for it.
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And I think many people live this way without even realizing it.
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Their body reacts first, their mind tries to catch up afterward.
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And then they judge themselves for reacting.
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Why am I so anxious?
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Why am I so panicky?
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Why am I overthinking this?
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Why can't I just relax?
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Those are all the questions that I kept asking myself and still do at times.
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But sometimes our nervous systems are just trying to protect us using old information.
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And what struck me during that trip was this my body was responding as if uncertainty meant danger.
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Even when I was standing somewhere beautiful, somewhere that was meant to slow down and enjoy, I was still reacting as if I were in some dangerous place.
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And that's important because I think many of us are physically living in safer seasons while our nervous systems are still expecting storms, still expecting abandonment, still expecting pain, still expecting loss or chaos.
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So even beauty can feel difficult to fully receive.
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And honestly, I think healing sometimes looks like learning how to wander again.
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Not recklessly, not carelessly, but gently, learning how to move through unfamiliar places without immediately assuming you're in danger.
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Learning how to trust.
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I may not know exactly where I am right now, but that does not mean I'm lost forever.
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And I think that this applies emotionally too.
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Because after heartbreak, after trauma, after major life changes, many people feel emotionally disoriented.
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The old version of life is gone.
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The old relationship is gone.
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The old identity is shifting, the old routines are changing, the things you counted on are no longer there.
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And suddenly you
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don't fully know who you are anymore.
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You don't know where you're going, you don't know what comes next, you don't know what your future looks like now, and that uncertainty can feel terrifying.
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And that is not because you're weak, but because humans naturally want stability.
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But one of the things that I realized while walking through Charleston is this sometimes healing requires becoming willing to walk unfamiliar paths.
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And honestly, that is hard for people who spent most of their lives surviving.
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Because survival teaches you to stay alert, stay prepared, stay guarded, in control, avoid mistakes, vulnerability, avoid uncertainty.
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But healing asks something different from us.
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Healing says, can you remain open while things feel unfamiliar?
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And that is uncomfortable.
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Because unfamiliar anything often feels unsafe long before it ever feels freeing.
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And I think about this in terms of joy.
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Some people have lived in survival mode for so long that peace itself feels strange, rest feels strange, stillness feels strange, healthy love feels strange, calm feels strange.
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And because the nervous system prefers what feels familiar, people sometimes return to chaos simply because it feels known.
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So if you've ever returned back to a relationship that you felt and you knew deep inside was like destroying you, that's why.
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Because your body craves what feels familiar.
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Because anything that doesn't feels dangerous.
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And that's not weakness, that is conditioning.
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And honestly, I think that that's why learning to wander again matters.
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Because wandering is not the same thing as being lost.
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Wandering can actually be a part of becoming the better version of yourself.
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And I don't mean better in a better person, I mean a better version in the sense that you're not the anxious person that you used to be.
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Better in the person that feels safe and can relax and can wander without getting panicky because maybe they took a different turn.
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Some of the most meaningful moments of that trip happened after I stopped trying to perfectly control every moment.
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After I stopped obsessing over every turn, every path, every direction, and instead I started allowing myself to experience where I was.
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The trees, the water, the quiet, the beauty that was everywhere, and even the slowness.
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I think some of us are so busy trying to emotionally get somewhere that we miss the healing that's happening while we walk, while we wander.
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Because healing is rarely linear.
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It's usually wandering.
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You revisit things, you remember things, you feel strong one day and emotional the next, you think you're over something and suddenly you feel it again.
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And if you interpret every emotional moment as failure, you will exhaust yourself.
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But if you begin understanding healing as a journey instead of a straight line, you become gentler with yourself.
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One of the things I kept reminding myself on those trails was just because I don't know exactly where I am doesn't mean that I won't find my way through.
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Maybe someone listening today needs that reminder too.
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Because maybe your life feels really unfamiliar right now.
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Maybe your future looks way different than you imagined.
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Maybe your identity is shifting.
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Maybe your relationships are changing.
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Maybe, maybe even faith feels different.
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Maybe healing itself feels really confusing.
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And maybe part of you keeps panicking because you don't fully know where this season is leading you yet.
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But uncertainty is not the same thing as danger.
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And maybe that's one of the deepest healing lessons I brought home from Charleston.
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My nervous system was trying to convince me if you don't immediately know the way, you are unsafe.
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But reality kept gently proving otherwise.
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I always found my way through every single time.
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And honestly, I think God does some of his deepest work in those wandering seasons.
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Not when we have everything figured out, not when the map is perfectly clear, but when we slowly learn I can be uncertain and still be okay.
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And that, my friend, is growth, healing, trust.
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And maybe that's what some of you are learning right now.
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Not how to control every outcome, not how to guarantee you'll never hurt again, but how to keep walking even when the path feels unfamiliar.
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Because maybe healing isn't about becoming fearless.
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Maybe it's about becoming someone who no longer mistakes every unknown place for danger.
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And maybe, just maybe, you're not as lost as you think you are.
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Maybe you're simply learning to wander again.
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Let's pray.
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Heavenly Father, for every person listening who feels uncertain, disoriented, or emotionally overwhelmed, bring peace to their nervous system.
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Help them stop mistaking unfamiliar for danger and remind them that just because they don't fully know where they are right now does not mean that they are abandoned or lost.
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Teach them how to trust you while walking through uncertain seasons.
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And for the places where old fear still rises quickly, bring gentleness there.
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Bring safety there.
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Bring calm there.
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Help us become people who can walk through unfamiliar places without giving ourselves over to fear.
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And remind us that healing is not always a straight line.
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Sometimes it's wandering, sometimes it's becoming, sometimes it's simply learning that we can keep walking and still be okay.
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Help us to feel your peace in these uncertain times, in these confusing times.
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Wrap your arms around each person that needs that gentle reminder.
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That no matter how lost we feel, you are always in the middle of the situation with us.
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In Jesus' name.
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Amen.
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Thank you for spending this time with me today.
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If something here stayed with you, let it settle.
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There's no rush.
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And if this podcast has encouraged you, I'd be grateful if you'd just take a minute and follow the show and leave a review.
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Reviews help more people find these conversations, and every one of them means more than you know.
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As a thank you, I've created a free 28-day port swing devotional filled with scripture and reflections.
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Simply send a screenshot of your review through KatinaLee.com, and I'll send a copy your way.
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Breaking Free with Katina Lee is proudly sponsored by KatinaLee.com.
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A safe place to land while you heal, reconnect with God, and rediscover joy.
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There you'll find my blog, books, coaching information, and additional resources created to support you on your journey.
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Until next time.
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And may you continue to speak Jesus over your mind, your body, your healing, and every part of your story.
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You don't have to have it all figured out.
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You just have to start somewhere safe.
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This is Breaking Free with Katina Lee.