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Jethro: everybody to a
decade, never to be forgotten.
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We are on year two with Connor
Pay the, uh, former BYU center.
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And, we're gonna follow his
journey over the next 10 years.
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Uh, well nine years now about what
is life is like and how this is the
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best decade that he has ever had.
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So we're excited for this conversation.
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And, uh, also if you want to keep
track of your own 10 years, uh,
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that will never be forgotten.
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You can do that through a little
web app that I made as part of this.
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It's a little daily journal.
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You ask, you answer this same
question each day of the year
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while different, I messed that up.
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Each day you answer a question and
then it repeats the following year.
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So you get to see how your
perspective and ideas have changed.
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Around 366 questions all organized
around 13 different categories
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over the course of the year.
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It's a pretty cool little thing.
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Short answers.
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Don't write a paragraph or
a novel every single day.
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Just do a little bit.
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You can check that out at a decade.
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Never to be forgotten.com and
click on journal up at the top.
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But today we've got Connor.
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Here.
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Connor, welcome.
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So good to see you again, man.
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Thanks for the time.
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Connor Pay: Yeah, thanks for, uh,
thanks for doing this and being
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willing to have me on again and dealing
with my nightmare of a schedule and
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Jethro: Yeah,
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Connor Pay: making it work so.
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Jethro: know.
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I mean that's, that's how it goes.
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Uh, I believe one of your texts to me was.
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Man, the transfer portal is
crazy and I just can't right now.
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And
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Connor Pay: Yeah.
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Jethro: that, uh, that sums up
things a little bit, but, but let's
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back up a little bit because, uh,
last year when we ended, you were
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saying, I'm now a professional
athlete and I'm
Load full transcript
gonna go to the NFL.
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And unfortunately that didn't happen.
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Talk to us about that process and
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Connor Pay: Yeah.
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Jethro: how you dealt with that.
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We've all lost jobs or not gotten the
job we wanted before, but you're in a
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different situation because everybody
saw that you didn't get this job that
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you were working really hard to get.
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So talk
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Connor Pay: Right.
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Jethro: that.
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Connor Pay: Yeah.
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I think, um, if I remember right, when
we did this last time, I was in Georgia
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doing, doing my pre-draft training.
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Um, and so when I, when I came
back from that, I, I went down to
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Texas and did the Big 12 pro day.
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Um, and, and did pretty, pretty well.
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I was o overall I was pretty happy with
how it went and had some great interviews
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with teams and things like that and come
back and, uh, there's a few weeks between
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Pro Day and the draft and you know, you're
just getting phone calls, doing a few more
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interviews with teams and stuff like that.
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And then, then the draft weekend comes
and I kind of knew with where I stood
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that free agency was my most likely
route that I probably would go undrafted.
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But if, if something crazy happened
like the seventh round, maybe the
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sixth was the highest I'd ever go.
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Um, and usually when you get to the
third or the fourth round of the NFL
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draft, that's when teams start calling
around about priority free agents.
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Um, and so e even as early as the,
as the third and fourth round,
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they're already thinking about who
they're gonna be able to get, um,
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for cheaper, uh, as free agents.
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You know, guys who they
don't project to be drafted.
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And so my agent calls me, um, in the
fourth round and basically says, Hey,
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we've got, we've got three or four teams
in a bidding war for you essentially
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to come and be a priority free agent.
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Um, and I said, okay, great.
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And so we're just talking with him.
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We're, we're driving up the
guaranteed money, things like that.
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And I was like, okay, not a bad spot
to be in, you know, and, uh, uh, but
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you know, the draft is different every
single year in terms of how many players
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are taken at your position or not taken.
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And yeah, this was the third or fourth
round and only only two or three centers
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had been drafted so far in that draft.
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So there were still a lot of
guys ranked higher than me.
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On the board.
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And normally eight 10
centers are drafted per year.
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Um, and not a single other center was
drafted for the rest of the draft.
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And so only three were taken, um, if
I remember right, three, maybe four,
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uh, but I'm pretty sure it was three.
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And so now all of a sudden, the free
agent market is super saturated with
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guys who were ranked higher than me.
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Um, and so those teams went dark.
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Uh, they did, stopped responding
to my agent 'cause they had
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better options out there.
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And, um, I ended up not getting, you
know, signed, uh, as a free agent
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like I had hoped, and got what's
called a, a mini camp invite instead.
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Um.
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And which is basically you go to, you go
to rookie mini camp, which is a, a part of
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OTAs, um, which is part of the OTA block.
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It's like a six week block for most teams.
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And rookie mini camp is really just
one week into the weekend of that.
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And so I optional team activities.
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Yep.
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And, and so, you know, the, the veterans,
the guys who have been there 7, 8, 9
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years probably don't do a ton during OTAs.
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They'll come around a lobby, be around the
team, work out, some of 'em don't show up
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to it at all and usually get, get fined.
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But they make enough,
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Jethro: and they still
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Connor Pay: yeah.
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They make, they make enough money
where it's like, oh, you're gonna
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find me a hundred grand for not
coming to OTAs, whatever, you know?
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Yeah.
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I'm gonna go train on
my own somewhere else.
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And so, uh, so I get invited
to the Seattle Seahawks.
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--> 00:05:57.585
Um, and so I, I fly down to
Seattle, um, and join the
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team there, uh, for mini camp.
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And, um, felt like I did pretty solid.
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Uh, but you know, it just,
it's, it truly is a business.
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The, the NFL is less about talent
and more about your situation, right.
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And perceived perceived value.
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Um, because, you know, there was,
there was a, another C center
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taken in free agency before me.
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Um, you know, so we were both rookies
coming in together and they had
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paid him a lot more money than me.
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And so, naturally, even if, and if I
performed better or he, uh, performed
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worse than me, they're gonna give
him a longer leash and cut me loose
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and keep him around more likely
because they've invested more money
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Jethro: Yeah.
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Connor Pay: him.
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And that's, that's why it's so
important when you can to get drafted
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Jethro: Yeah,
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Connor Pay: because the team has
some skin in the game for you.
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Where it's like for me and all the
other, uh, mini camp guys who were there.
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You know, the, the team doesn't have
a, you have to do something pretty
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amazing to get them to keep you.
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Jethro: Yeah.
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Connor Pay: Um, and they don't, they
don't have much skin in the game.
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So I, I go through my practices
that week, go through meetings,
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feel like I'm doing well.
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And then, you know, you come in, you
come in after, uh, after practice one
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day at the end of mini camp, and you
have a piece of paper in your locker with
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your flight itinerary home for the next
morning, you know, and it's just a, yep.
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Nobody talks to you.
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You just, you get shuttled back to the
team hotel and they say, okay, the shuttle
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leaves at this time to take you to the
airport, you know, and you head back home.
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And so that's what happened to me.
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And, um, so flew back home from Seattle,
was here for a week and then got
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picked up, uh, actually by the Raiders.
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So got another chance at the Raiders.
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Um, during their mini camp
and, uh, similar situation, uh,
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felt like I honestly had done
really well at the Raiders.
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I had known Chip Kelly from high
school recruiting and he recruited
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my brother and he was the OC there.
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So got to go, go spend a couple weeks
in Vegas practicing with them and,
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you know, gotta meet guys like Max
Crosby and, and some of the other
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dudes who were there at the facility.
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And, uh, um, you know, gotta be coached by
Pete Carroll, who obviously was a legend.
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Jethro: Yeah.
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That's pretty amazing.
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Connor Pay: and so that was, that was a
fun experience, but very similar thing.
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They were, the Raiders were a lot more
communicative with me versus the Seahawks.
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And so they let me know like, Hey, uh, hey
man, we, we felt like you performed well.
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We just don't have a spot for you.
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And, uh, they have a lot of money
tied up on their Interior O line.
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They have some really good players
and, you know, they got, they
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got some 10, $15 million guys.
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Uh, and so they just
didn't have the spots.
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And I was like, you know
what, I'm, I get it.
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I'm, I'm, I'm, uh, I'm smart enough to
know that this is a business and you
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guys have to make business decisions.
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And so ended up getting cut, uh, from
the Raiders at a mini camp as well.
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And so came back, uh, and
um, you know, obviously
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pretty tough.
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'cause if you don't make it out of those
mini camps, then there's a pretty slim
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chance that you're gonna be invited
back for training camp where you get
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to go and, uh, actually practice in
pads and play in preseason games.
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Get NFL tape, which is the biggest
thing for, uh, elongating your
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career, is that those, that preseason
film, uh, you really need that.
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And unfortunately, you know, there,
there were a few times where some guys
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went down in Seattle, um, and that I
was, I was very close to being called
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back to their training camp where my
agent called me and said, Hey, be ready.
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They've had some injuries, uh, but
it just never ended up happening.
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And so, uh, went throughout that
entire season, still training.
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I got calls from teams every single
week, the entire season, um, and had
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flights booked a few times that ended
up getting, getting canceled, you know,
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'cause the team changed their mind or
they ended up taking someone from a
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different position instead where they
felt like there was a greater need.
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You know, those kind of things.
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Um, so yeah, it got, it was a little
bit discouraging at times, you know,
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just kind of the back and forth.
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You're getting yanked back and forth.
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It may happen.
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No, it's not happening.
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It's gonna happen.
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Yeah.
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Psych, it's not happening, you know,
and so it's, uh, it was mentally,
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it was a little bit of a roller
coaster, but I think the thing
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that hurt the most is I didn't get
invited back for a training camp.
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And so I didn't get any preseason film.
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And so now trying to get picked up,
my agents out there trying to get
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me picked up by a different team.
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A team's gonna pick a guy who they
can actually watch play in the NFL in
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the preseason almost every time before
someone who doesn't have preseason film.
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And so, um, that's kind
of where it ended up.
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And, uh, so that's at least
the NFL portion of it.
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And then, so I, I gave it the full
season because my agent was like, look,
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there's also, there's also a lot of
injuries and they have extra spots going
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into the playoffs and things like that.
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And so.
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Um, you know, he's like, let's just, we
gotta stick it out for the entire season.
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I think technically, even though I kind
of consider myself retired now from
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playing, I think technically my name
is still in the NFL database as active.
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But, uh, just 'cause, you know, I mean,
I still obviously I consider myself
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retired from playing now, but I, I
still train and do things to try to
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stay in shape and so just for life.
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So, hey, you know, you never know.
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I could get a call and, uh,
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Jethro: know,
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Connor Pay: jump back in.
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00:11:42.810
You know, why not?
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Jethro: Weddle got a call for, I think it
was the Chargers right before, was it The
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Chargers, right before the Super Bowl.
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Uh, and, and then
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Connor Pay: Or the Rams.
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The Rams.
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Jethro: you.
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I knew it
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Connor Pay: Yeah.
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Jethro: team.
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He got a call and he was already retired
from what I understand, and like got
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up off the couch and came and you've,
you've heard of that some other times.
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It obviously he wa he had
played in the league for years.
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Uh, so I got
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Connor Pay: yeah.
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Jethro: to go, to go
through with this and,
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Connor Pay: Sure.
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Jethro: as people are listening,
like I just want people to think
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like, we all have these situations
where we think something's gonna
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happen and then it doesn't.
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And so like you.
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So, the first one is like
a, a financial situation.
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Connor Pay: Mm-hmm.
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Jethro: what I understand, up
until the draft, you're paying for
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everything, all your extra training
and, and everything to get ready.
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You're paying for that.
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And then after the draft, if you're
going to OTAs, then the teams are
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paying you to come out as an employee.
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Is that a fair, simplified
way of looking at that?
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Connor Pay: So it depends.
00:12:46.290 --> 00:12:52.200
Um, most guys, most guys, their agency
will pay for them to go and train.
00:12:52.771 --> 00:12:53.061
Jethro: Okay.
00:12:53.250 --> 00:12:56.310
Connor Pay: that's, that's kind of one
of the incentives that agents have.
00:12:56.310 --> 00:13:00.480
Not only the prestige of the agency, but
it's like, Hey, we're gonna pay for you.
00:13:00.690 --> 00:13:02.915
So like, my agency paid
for me to go to Atlanta.
00:13:03.660 --> 00:13:04.500
And train.
00:13:05.310 --> 00:13:09.420
Um, that's kind of the,
the risk and the investment
00:13:09.656 --> 00:13:09.836
Jethro: That
00:13:09.930 --> 00:13:11.280
Connor Pay: making in, in you.
00:13:12.330 --> 00:13:13.800
But that doesn't happen for everybody.
00:13:13.950 --> 00:13:19.530
Um, it depends on, you know,
your pre-draft rankings, um, and
00:13:19.530 --> 00:13:20.850
other, other things like that.
00:13:20.850 --> 00:13:25.290
And so, thankfully I had a number of
agencies who felt like I was ranked high
00:13:25.290 --> 00:13:29.160
enough to where all of them offered to
pay for my training, and so I wasn't
00:13:29.160 --> 00:13:31.740
gonna go with an agency that was unwilling
00:13:31.951 --> 00:13:32.241
Jethro: Yeah.
00:13:32.280 --> 00:13:32.850
Connor Pay: to pay.
00:13:33.180 --> 00:13:38.310
Mm. And so, but yes, then you go to
mini camp and OTAs and it's either
00:13:38.310 --> 00:13:40.560
no money or very little money.
00:13:40.831 --> 00:13:41.181
Jethro: Uhhuh.
00:13:41.370 --> 00:13:45.090
Connor Pay: Um, I mean, obviously
the, the team pays for you don't
00:13:45.090 --> 00:13:47.220
pay, you don't pay the team at all.
00:13:47.281 --> 00:13:47.571
Jethro: Yeah.
00:13:47.580 --> 00:13:49.950
Connor Pay: So I could, at
the very minimum, it's free.
00:13:50.100 --> 00:13:52.290
Like you don't pay for
your flights or your hotel.
00:13:52.650 --> 00:13:56.520
The, the NFL team will pay for your
flight and your hotel and all that stuff.
00:13:56.670 --> 00:14:01.470
Um, and so sometimes, sometimes
you'll get, uh, a small
00:14:01.470 --> 00:14:02.940
amount to go to mini camp.
00:14:03.690 --> 00:14:07.380
Um, but it's really, if you can stay
for, if you can get invited back
00:14:07.380 --> 00:14:12.120
for the remainder of OTAs, then they
pay you for your time being there.
00:14:13.110 --> 00:14:14.910
So you get compensated in that way.
00:14:14.910 --> 00:14:19.290
And then obviously, guys who are already
signed right after the draft usually
00:14:19.290 --> 00:14:21.660
comes with some type of a signing bonus.
00:14:21.720 --> 00:14:22.470
If you're drafted.
00:14:22.470 --> 00:14:25.740
The signing bonus can be
pretty big as most people know.
00:14:26.280 --> 00:14:28.560
But as a free agent, it really varies.
00:14:29.010 --> 00:14:33.390
Um, a large amount where sometimes there's
you, you're signed, so you get, you'll
00:14:33.390 --> 00:14:35.070
be on the team through training camp.
00:14:35.730 --> 00:14:40.530
Um, but sometimes there's no signing
bonus or, you know, if they felt like you
00:14:40.530 --> 00:14:45.600
were ranked high enough, uh, or worthy
of it, then, you know, some of 'em can
00:14:45.600 --> 00:14:49.290
be up to a hundred thousand dollars
signing bonus even for a free agent.
00:14:49.976 --> 00:14:50.366
Jethro: yeah,
00:14:50.910 --> 00:14:51.780
Connor Pay: you know, and so.
00:14:52.515 --> 00:14:56.145
And, and that's where for, for a
while there, for those few rounds,
00:14:56.145 --> 00:14:58.755
that's the bucket I thought I'd
find myself in, because that's
00:14:58.755 --> 00:15:00.045
what my agent was working on.
00:15:00.045 --> 00:15:03.375
Like, Hey, there's interest and so
we're gonna, because there's, there's
00:15:03.375 --> 00:15:07.425
a signing bonus and then there's what's
fully guaranteed in your contract.
00:15:07.425 --> 00:15:10.995
And so my agent was doing some work
to try to raise both of those things.
00:15:11.535 --> 00:15:15.375
Not only would my signing bonus be
higher, but also my guaranteed money.
00:15:15.855 --> 00:15:19.695
Um, and there are certain organizations
in the NFL who are known for really
00:15:19.695 --> 00:15:21.735
taking good care of their free agents.
00:15:21.735 --> 00:15:25.305
And you know, like I, I've had
some former teammates go to teams
00:15:25.305 --> 00:15:28.305
like the Cowboys, where it's like,
look, even if you get cut, we're
00:15:28.305 --> 00:15:29.805
gonna guarantee you a hundred grand
00:15:29.906 --> 00:15:30.196
Jethro: Yeah.
00:15:30.466 --> 00:15:30.756
Okay.
00:15:31.185 --> 00:15:32.895
Connor Pay: just to like,
make it worth the time.
00:15:33.675 --> 00:15:33.975
You know?
00:15:33.975 --> 00:15:35.625
And so that's, that's
kind of how it works.
00:15:35.625 --> 00:15:40.815
But, uh, yeah, mini camp and into
OTAs, uh, unless, unless you end up
00:15:40.815 --> 00:15:45.165
getting invited back and staying, uh,
you don't end up making much money.
00:15:45.165 --> 00:15:45.195
I.
00:15:45.246 --> 00:15:45.536
Jethro: Yeah.
00:15:45.791 --> 00:15:46.991
Yep, that makes sense.
00:15:47.291 --> 00:15:53.036
So it's, it's one of those things where,
you know, if you do end up with a. NFL
00:15:53.036 --> 00:15:57.086
contracts and you're on the 10 to $15
million range, like you were talking
00:15:57.086 --> 00:16:01.586
about those guys in Oakland, then, you
know, you're, you're in good shape.
00:16:02.006 --> 00:16:02.276
But
00:16:02.280 --> 00:16:02.580
Connor Pay: Mm-hmm.
00:16:03.356 --> 00:16:06.776
Jethro: whenever you're applying for
a job, you're investing time, you're
00:16:06.776 --> 00:16:10.586
investing money, you're investing in
relationships and things like that.
00:16:10.886 --> 00:16:15.986
Can you talk about that relationship
piece and how that either helped or
00:16:15.986 --> 00:16:21.026
hindered or what you thought about as
you were, as you were thinking about
00:16:21.026 --> 00:16:26.246
those relationships, like you mentioned
Coach Kelly having, uh, familiarity
00:16:26.246 --> 00:16:28.316
with you on the recruiting trail and
00:16:28.440 --> 00:16:28.890
Connor Pay: Yeah,
00:16:28.946 --> 00:16:29.276
Jethro: brother.
00:16:29.276 --> 00:16:33.326
So like how do those
relationships manifest themselves?
00:16:33.356 --> 00:16:34.166
Do they matter?
00:16:34.166 --> 00:16:35.696
Do they feel like they don't matter?
00:16:35.906 --> 00:16:37.346
Like, what's your perspective on that?
00:16:37.350 --> 00:16:39.930
Connor Pay: I, I think
they always matter and,
00:16:39.956 --> 00:16:40.196
Jethro: can they
00:16:40.230 --> 00:16:42.750
Connor Pay: and, uh, I don't know.
00:16:42.750 --> 00:16:45.750
One of the things that I've always,
you know, that I was taught by my
00:16:45.750 --> 00:16:49.435
parents and that I've always tried
to do is I've always tried to end.
00:16:50.115 --> 00:16:53.535
End
up in a positive relationship
with everybody, everybody.
00:16:53.535 --> 00:16:58.725
But that I possibly can leave a good
impression, um, because you never, like
00:16:58.725 --> 00:17:01.965
you said, you never know when your paths
are gonna cross again later in life.
00:17:01.965 --> 00:17:06.675
And so it's like I had, I met Chip
Kelly one time in the recruiting process
00:17:06.735 --> 00:17:10.365
in person and had a few phone calls
with him as we were going through it.
00:17:10.965 --> 00:17:14.955
And yet when I show up at the
Raiders, obviously my, my younger
00:17:14.955 --> 00:17:18.975
brother was a, a much bigger high
school recruit than I ever was.
00:17:18.975 --> 00:17:20.895
He was one of the top
tackles in the country.
00:17:21.495 --> 00:17:26.145
And so Coach Kelly was pushing hard
at Ohio State, um, to get him to come.
00:17:26.145 --> 00:17:28.455
And so got to know our
family even better that way.
00:17:29.025 --> 00:17:31.635
But it's like he remembered me, you know?
00:17:31.635 --> 00:17:35.895
And so it's like, did it, did it
end up really making a difference,
00:17:36.075 --> 00:17:38.055
uh, for me and making the team?
00:17:38.325 --> 00:17:38.775
No.
00:17:39.180 --> 00:17:44.370
But it's like now, um, and I guess I don't
even know if I've told you this Jethro,
00:17:44.370 --> 00:17:47.250
like now, now I'm, I'm coaching at BYU.
00:17:47.250 --> 00:17:48.840
That's one of the things that I'm doing
00:17:49.001 --> 00:17:49.481
Jethro: Well we
00:17:49.530 --> 00:17:50.130
Connor Pay: and
00:17:50.261 --> 00:17:50.531
Jethro: so
00:17:50.790 --> 00:17:52.210
Connor Pay: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
00:17:52.241 --> 00:17:52.691
Jethro: part up.
00:17:53.250 --> 00:17:56.370
Connor Pay: And so it's like, who knows
what's gonna happen down the line.
00:17:56.370 --> 00:18:00.900
And that relationship that I have
with Coach Kelly, maybe it'll manifest
00:18:00.900 --> 00:18:02.190
itself in different ways again.
00:18:02.190 --> 00:18:04.200
'cause now he ended up getting
fired from the Raiders.
00:18:04.200 --> 00:18:05.700
He's back at the college ranks.
00:18:06.390 --> 00:18:10.170
Um, and so it's like you
just, you never know.
00:18:10.260 --> 00:18:15.600
And I feel like I'm seeing that more
so now where it's the same deal.
00:18:15.630 --> 00:18:23.010
Um, I, I got to have, uh, a one-on-one
interview with the Lions offensive line
00:18:23.010 --> 00:18:27.420
coach in the pre-draft process, Hank
Fraley, because he had recruited me
00:18:27.420 --> 00:18:30.630
at UCLA, um, and he had remembered me.
00:18:30.630 --> 00:18:33.510
And so he wanted to gimme a phone
call and interview me in person
00:18:33.510 --> 00:18:34.950
instead of having the scout do it.
00:18:35.640 --> 00:18:35.940
You know?
00:18:35.940 --> 00:18:38.460
And so it's, it's like little
things like that where it's like.
00:18:38.940 --> 00:18:41.130
Again, did it make a
difference in the end?
00:18:41.700 --> 00:18:46.230
Not exactly, but, but it could have, you
know, it de it definitely could have.
00:18:46.230 --> 00:18:52.530
And, um, I think, and maybe we can
just in answering this question, it
00:18:52.530 --> 00:18:57.690
might be a good transition into after
football, or I guess it was kind
00:18:57.690 --> 00:19:03.240
of mixed into during, uh, because
relationships is where I'm at now.
00:19:03.240 --> 00:19:07.020
It's, it's why I'm at where I'm at now,
where when I got cut from the Raiders,
00:19:07.020 --> 00:19:09.240
I come back and I'm training every day.
00:19:09.240 --> 00:19:13.440
So I'm at the facility, I'm around the
coaches, and I, and I really made a point
00:19:13.440 --> 00:19:18.750
as a player to develop a relationship
with all the coaches and, um, my, my
00:19:18.750 --> 00:19:23.100
play on the field and my dedication
to the team earned their trust.
00:19:23.640 --> 00:19:28.740
But then also, uh, you know, just
taking the time to get to know
00:19:28.740 --> 00:19:30.600
them, especially with Coach Kalani.
00:19:30.600 --> 00:19:32.340
Coach Kalani and I are very close.
00:19:33.030 --> 00:19:33.660
Um.
00:19:34.005 --> 00:19:37.875
And so after I got cut from the Raiders,
I'm at the facility training every day.
00:19:38.265 --> 00:19:41.625
Never in a million years have I
considered going into college coaching.
00:19:41.711 --> 00:19:42.251
Jethro: Really?
00:19:42.675 --> 00:19:43.155
Connor Pay: No.
00:19:43.215 --> 00:19:46.245
I've, I've always, I've always
wanted to go into business.
00:19:46.275 --> 00:19:47.625
That's what I studied at BYU.
00:19:47.625 --> 00:19:48.705
That's what I wanted to do.
00:19:49.095 --> 00:19:49.965
And I said, you know what?
00:19:49.965 --> 00:19:54.225
I, I'd love to just start a business,
make a good life for myself, and
00:19:54.225 --> 00:19:57.375
then give back in the football
community by going and coaching
00:19:57.375 --> 00:19:59.205
high school or something, you know?
00:19:59.205 --> 00:20:01.575
And that was kind of what
I thought I'd always do.
00:20:01.575 --> 00:20:03.255
That's what my, that's what my dad does.
00:20:03.255 --> 00:20:07.035
He's the oline coach at Lone
Peak and loves it, and loves
00:20:07.035 --> 00:20:08.025
working with those kids.
00:20:08.025 --> 00:20:08.835
And so I was like, you know what?
00:20:08.835 --> 00:20:12.045
If I end up getting, that's my way
to stay in, in the football world,
00:20:12.105 --> 00:20:13.515
you know, I'll coach high school.
00:20:14.475 --> 00:20:18.015
Um, but Kalani approached me and
he knew I wanted to do business.
00:20:18.975 --> 00:20:20.265
And so that's how he lured me.
00:20:20.265 --> 00:20:25.665
And, uh, he said, he said, Hey, I
have a, I have a business venture
00:20:25.695 --> 00:20:30.495
I wanna do with you and I, Isaiah
Kafue, one of my former teammates.
00:20:31.200 --> 00:20:36.690
Um, who was working at Adobe at the time
doing business development for Adobe and,
00:20:36.690 --> 00:20:44.610
uh, kind of the BYU Pathway program has
slowly over my time at BYU become more and
00:20:44.610 --> 00:20:46.860
more ingrained in the football program.
00:20:47.220 --> 00:20:51.420
Um, and he said, Hey, I wanna
start a company to help, help
00:20:51.420 --> 00:20:55.470
get these pathway students hired
remotely with US-based companies.
00:20:56.010 --> 00:21:00.000
He essentially wanted to start a hiring
agency like Salvo or Bloom or Clear
00:21:00.000 --> 00:21:01.980
Source, you know, something like that.
00:21:02.340 --> 00:21:04.950
But specifically for Pathway students.
00:21:05.550 --> 00:21:10.230
Um, and so obviously he's the CEO of
BYU football right now, so it's like
00:21:10.230 --> 00:21:12.810
he doesn't have time to execute that.
00:21:12.810 --> 00:21:18.750
And I was, I was still training, but
I, I, I had extra time to kind of
00:21:18.780 --> 00:21:20.550
help and do that while I was training.
00:21:20.550 --> 00:21:22.710
And so I was like, yeah, I'm in, I'm in.
00:21:22.710 --> 00:21:28.380
And so we co-founded, uh,
ventures, uh, together and I can.
00:21:29.085 --> 00:21:31.125
Maybe later on, I couldn't
tell you a little bit about
00:21:31.125 --> 00:21:32.475
the significance of the name.
00:21:32.625 --> 00:21:37.755
But, uh, and then, and then we ended
up starting, uh, a nonprofit, a
00:21:37.755 --> 00:21:40.215
foundation to go side by side with it.
00:21:40.215 --> 00:21:45.555
And we're actually headed to Tonga in
June to open our first employment center.
00:21:45.831 --> 00:21:46.051
Jethro: Oh,
00:21:46.155 --> 00:21:52.245
Connor Pay: Uh, we, we got a building on
in Tonga Tap and uh, ro it's currently
00:21:52.245 --> 00:21:56.355
under renovations right now and it's
gonna house 130 remote employees
00:21:56.355 --> 00:21:58.005
in the morning to early afternoon.
00:21:58.425 --> 00:22:03.315
And then in the evenings, uh, those
same 130 computers desk cubicles
00:22:03.315 --> 00:22:06.645
will be available for Pathway
students on the island of Tonga to
00:22:06.645 --> 00:22:10.215
come and do their schoolwork and
get access to starlink and all that.
00:22:10.215 --> 00:22:13.545
And so, um, I'm the vice
president of that foundation.
00:22:13.545 --> 00:22:15.315
It's called the We Are One Foundation.
00:22:15.765 --> 00:22:20.085
Um, and both of those things kind of
came outta that conversation with Kalani
00:22:20.745 --> 00:22:23.815
when he just approached me and said,
Hey, I think there's, you know, I think.
00:22:24.795 --> 00:22:26.055
I think you'd be good at this.
00:22:26.055 --> 00:22:27.135
I think you could help us.
00:22:27.165 --> 00:22:28.275
Here's what I want to do.
00:22:29.085 --> 00:22:34.395
And then a couple weeks later, that's
when he said, Hey, like, dude, you're
00:22:34.395 --> 00:22:35.985
here every day training anyways.
00:22:35.985 --> 00:22:38.205
He's like, just come,
come help out at practice
00:22:38.336 --> 00:22:38.626
Jethro: Yeah.
00:22:39.345 --> 00:22:41.925
Connor Pay: and just be around the
guy, share some knowledge with him.
00:22:41.925 --> 00:22:45.735
And Coach Woods, our O Line coach
had always joked with me about coming
00:22:45.735 --> 00:22:49.335
back and coaching, but he knew, he
also knew I wanted to do business,
00:22:49.335 --> 00:22:50.745
so he never pushed the issue.
00:22:51.221 --> 00:22:51.671
Jethro: yeah.
00:22:52.541 --> 00:22:52.781
what's
00:22:52.845 --> 00:22:53.445
Connor Pay: and
00:22:53.681 --> 00:22:59.861
Jethro: told me when last, uh, fall during
the season, you said that you were just to
00:22:59.861 --> 00:23:02.651
help helping out with the, with the team.
00:23:03.195 --> 00:23:03.555
Connor Pay: yeah.
00:23:03.671 --> 00:23:05.351
Jethro: way you said it made it seem like.
00:23:06.296 --> 00:23:08.156
This is just a stopping ground, a
00:23:08.450 --> 00:23:08.870
Connor Pay: Mm-hmm.
00:23:09.116 --> 00:23:09.716
Jethro: and
00:23:10.300 --> 00:23:10.590
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:23:10.616 --> 00:23:12.326
Jethro: on from this later.
00:23:12.446 --> 00:23:15.266
And, and that, that didn't happen.
00:23:15.296 --> 00:23:18.896
You are now coaching for real.
00:23:19.286 --> 00:23:20.126
And, and so
00:23:20.250 --> 00:23:20.540
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:23:20.936 --> 00:23:23.361
Jethro: between what you're doing
last year and what you're doing now?
00:23:24.750 --> 00:23:25.680
Connor Pay: Probably the time.
00:23:25.791 --> 00:23:26.141
Jethro: Uhhuh?
00:23:26.640 --> 00:23:29.850
Connor Pay: just like now, now I'm
officially a staff member, so it's
00:23:29.850 --> 00:23:33.930
like I'm involved with recruiting
every bit of the off season stuff.
00:23:33.930 --> 00:23:37.950
Like that's my, it's my nine to five
now, you know, where, where before it
00:23:37.950 --> 00:23:41.790
was like, you know what I was, I was
doing business stuff in the mornings
00:23:42.060 --> 00:23:46.830
while training, working on stuff with
Isaiah for the business and foundation.
00:23:47.070 --> 00:23:50.100
Then I'd come help at
practice in the afternoon.
00:23:50.670 --> 00:23:55.380
Um, but, uh, then it ended up, I
ended up loving it and I was just
00:23:55.380 --> 00:23:57.420
volunteering, you know, last year.
00:23:58.320 --> 00:24:02.070
But, uh, you know, they, they're
allowed to essentially have one or
00:24:02.070 --> 00:24:06.330
two volunteers on the staff and bring
you to away games and stuff like that.
00:24:06.330 --> 00:24:09.420
And so Kalani was like, Hey, if
you, he's like, we'll bring you
00:24:09.420 --> 00:24:10.680
if you really wanna do this.
00:24:10.680 --> 00:24:13.710
And I was having a blast and so I was
like, yeah, let me, let me try it.
00:24:13.740 --> 00:24:14.640
He was like, just try it.
00:24:14.640 --> 00:24:15.870
He is like, I think you'd really love it.
00:24:16.440 --> 00:24:19.470
So I ended up getting to travel
to all the away games, essentially
00:24:19.470 --> 00:24:21.090
was a pseudo staff member.
00:24:21.840 --> 00:24:26.250
And then come January of this
last year, just a few months ago,
00:24:26.970 --> 00:24:29.310
Kalani was like, did you enjoy it?
00:24:29.550 --> 00:24:30.690
And I was like, I loved it.
00:24:30.990 --> 00:24:31.470
I loved it.
00:24:31.470 --> 00:24:32.370
It was so much fun.
00:24:32.370 --> 00:24:33.150
And he goes, okay.
00:24:33.150 --> 00:24:36.750
And so that's when we, we
talked with Arod, the oc, and
00:24:36.810 --> 00:24:38.370
made sure he was on board.
00:24:38.370 --> 00:24:43.830
And uh, they, they decided to
bring me on full-time, um, as an
00:24:43.830 --> 00:24:48.690
analyst on the offense, one of our
assistant oline coaches, basically.
00:24:48.866 --> 00:24:49.436
Jethro: That's great,
00:24:49.560 --> 00:24:52.860
Connor Pay: Um, and so yeah,
now that's what I do full-time.
00:24:52.860 --> 00:24:57.540
And then I'm in a unique position where
I get to coach football, but I also have
00:24:57.540 --> 00:25:01.440
these, the foundation and some business
stuff I'm working on with the head coach.
00:25:01.470 --> 00:25:06.300
And so it's kind of a, it's kind of a
unique kind of dual role that's been
00:25:07.170 --> 00:25:10.770
really amazing, um, and a lot of fun.
00:25:11.141 --> 00:25:11.831
Jethro: That's awesome.
00:25:11.831 --> 00:25:16.871
So one of the things that I've learned
over the past couple years is that we,
00:25:16.961 --> 00:25:22.901
we can and should work hard towards
goals that we have, but to, to think
00:25:22.901 --> 00:25:27.461
that the goal is the only thing that
God's preparing us for is really a
00:25:27.461 --> 00:25:33.671
mistake because God has, has plans
for each of us that are unique to us.
00:25:33.911 --> 00:25:40.481
And so many things put us in, in
the pathway what God has for us
00:25:40.961 --> 00:25:43.421
that don't look like what it is.
00:25:43.481 --> 00:25:49.331
You know, like you, you don't know what
it's gonna look like in 10 years of
00:25:49.590 --> 00:25:49.800
Connor Pay: No.
00:25:49.901 --> 00:25:53.771
Jethro: you're gonna be a, a coach
at BYU or a coach somewhere else.
00:25:53.771 --> 00:25:59.231
Or you're gonna be like, I'm gonna live
in Tonga and help these people do this.
00:25:59.291 --> 00:25:59.741
Uh.
00:26:00.131 --> 00:26:03.041
This, this, uh, pathways to Work thing.
00:26:03.371 --> 00:26:05.501
Like you just don't
know what it's gonna be.
00:26:05.801 --> 00:26:12.911
But the fact is that every one of these
experiences are worthwhile and lead you to
00:26:12.941 --> 00:26:15.251
the thing that God has in store for you.
00:26:15.251 --> 00:26:20.621
So my personal philosophy around this
has been I'm gonna work towards a
00:26:20.621 --> 00:26:24.881
specific goal, but I'm never going
to have the expectation that that
00:26:24.881 --> 00:26:28.901
goal is the thing that, I have to do.
00:26:29.021 --> 00:26:32.531
The work is the value,
the relationships
I'm building along the way.
00:26:33.011 --> 00:26:34.121
That's the value.
00:26:34.391 --> 00:26:40.001
And then if that thing comes to pass,
then that's great, but that's not
00:26:40.181 --> 00:26:43.211
that, that end goal is not the point.
00:26:43.241 --> 00:26:46.361
The point is the work you're doing along
the way, how do you respond to that?
00:26:46.361 --> 00:26:46.961
What do you think?
00:26:47.310 --> 00:26:47.520
Connor Pay: Right.
00:26:47.520 --> 00:26:49.320
No, I, I, I couldn't agree more.
00:26:50.040 --> 00:26:53.850
Um, and, you know, just 'cause
I, I never, like I said, I never
00:26:53.850 --> 00:26:55.410
thought I'd be doing coaching.
00:26:56.010 --> 00:26:58.440
That wasn't, that wasn't on my Bingo card.
00:26:58.935 --> 00:27:01.995
And I also didn't think I'd be
working with BYU Pathway trying to
00:27:01.995 --> 00:27:05.355
help students get hired and building
employment centers and raising
00:27:05.355 --> 00:27:06.975
money and doing all those things.
00:27:06.975 --> 00:27:10.725
You know, like this isn't, this
isn't at all how I envisioned
00:27:11.341 --> 00:27:11.741
Jethro: Yeah.
00:27:12.105 --> 00:27:13.035
Connor Pay: my life going.
00:27:13.035 --> 00:27:17.355
You know, my, my blueprint for
life, my plan was to go play in
00:27:17.355 --> 00:27:21.915
the NFL, make good money and come
back and use it to start a company.
00:27:22.095 --> 00:27:24.465
You know, like that was, that was my plan.
00:27:24.945 --> 00:27:29.055
And, uh, one of those things I
guess is, is still taking place.
00:27:29.055 --> 00:27:33.105
You know, I, I, I guess I am part
of starting a company, but, um,
00:27:33.345 --> 00:27:36.915
you know, I was, I was a Pathway
mentor while I was a player at
00:27:36.915 --> 00:27:39.165
BYU, just kind of more one-on-one.
00:27:39.165 --> 00:27:42.525
And, uh, you know, that's,
that's an interesting, going
00:27:42.525 --> 00:27:43.695
back to relationships too.
00:27:43.695 --> 00:27:47.265
We just randomly, we had a, we had one
day, we had a team meeting my sophomore
00:27:47.265 --> 00:27:51.225
year when Kalani wanted Pathway to get
more involved and he had the chairman
00:27:51.225 --> 00:27:54.495
of the career advisory board for
Pathway come and speak to the team.
00:27:54.495 --> 00:27:55.635
His name was Matt Downs.
00:27:56.460 --> 00:28:00.720
Um, and he talked about how he gave
us the overview on Pathway and all
00:28:00.720 --> 00:28:03.300
the amazing students and then he just
said, Hey, if anyone's interested
00:28:03.300 --> 00:28:05.760
in helping these students out and
being a mentor, just let me know.
00:28:05.760 --> 00:28:09.120
And me and a couple other players went
up to him after the meeting and said,
00:28:09.120 --> 00:28:10.680
Hey, we'd love to help with this.
00:28:11.310 --> 00:28:16.320
Um, and uh, you know, so
became a Pathway Mentor.
00:28:16.320 --> 00:28:20.460
Got assigned, uh, you know, five or six
Pathway students, got put in WhatsApp
00:28:20.460 --> 00:28:23.490
groups with them and just answered
any questions they had about school
00:28:23.490 --> 00:28:28.080
life, job interviews, how to build a
resume, connections, all those things.
00:28:28.080 --> 00:28:30.180
You're kind of just there
to help, help 'em along.
00:28:30.900 --> 00:28:34.620
Um, and so did that while I was at
BYU, but never thought anything would
00:28:34.620 --> 00:28:37.470
come of it, you know, I just did it
'cause I wanted to help, you know.
00:28:37.470 --> 00:28:37.620
And
00:28:37.676 --> 00:28:37.946
Jethro: Yeah.
00:28:38.190 --> 00:28:40.680
Connor Pay: then here we are fast
forward when we start to build
00:28:40.680 --> 00:28:42.360
this company and this foundation.
00:28:42.960 --> 00:28:48.150
Um, Isaiah and I get linked up with
Matt Downs again, and I didn't know
00:28:48.210 --> 00:28:50.220
any of the details about what Matt did.
00:28:50.835 --> 00:28:51.915
Uh, as a career.
00:28:51.915 --> 00:28:55.485
I just knew that he was the, he was
a Pathway missionary and was the
00:28:55.485 --> 00:28:56.925
head of their career advisory board.
00:28:56.925 --> 00:28:57.615
That's all I knew.
00:28:58.155 --> 00:29:04.605
Turns out he's a co-founder and a CEO
of a $2 billion VC firm, um, managing
00:29:04.605 --> 00:29:06.525
companies and, and all this stuff.
00:29:06.525 --> 00:29:10.575
And we ended up getting involved
with a startup that he was a
00:29:10.575 --> 00:29:14.715
part of, um, called Pearl 27.
00:29:14.775 --> 00:29:20.625
That's doing ai, digital marketing
and hiring just mass numbers of
00:29:20.655 --> 00:29:23.745
pathway students to do it, to to work.
00:29:23.745 --> 00:29:26.355
And on the back end of
all this AI marketing.
00:29:26.985 --> 00:29:28.755
That, uh, they're doing for companies.
00:29:28.755 --> 00:29:31.995
And Isaiah and I got to be there at
the beginning, at the start of it
00:29:32.535 --> 00:29:34.185
and help do business development.
00:29:34.185 --> 00:29:38.085
This was, this was before I was full-time
coaching during that season where I,
00:29:38.085 --> 00:29:40.965
I'd go down to the office with them
in the mornings, then go to practice
00:29:40.965 --> 00:29:45.945
in the afternoons, you know, and, uh,
just got to learn so much from him.
00:29:45.945 --> 00:29:49.515
As I, as Isaiah and I were trying to
build and structure our own company,
00:29:49.581 --> 00:29:50.001
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:29:50.055 --> 00:29:52.455
Connor Pay: get to learn from a
guy who's built over a hundred
00:29:52.455 --> 00:29:56.835
successful companies or been a part
of 'em, at least in a, in a VC role.
00:29:57.495 --> 00:29:59.805
And just to soak up
everything I could from him.
00:29:59.805 --> 00:30:01.095
And it was amazing.
00:30:01.095 --> 00:30:05.265
Every single day we'd, we'd stop
at some point during our meetings
00:30:05.265 --> 00:30:11.355
and he'd, he'd pull out the Book of
Mormon and,
or, or his New Testament
00:30:11.355 --> 00:30:12.765
and say, Hey, I was reading this.
00:30:12.765 --> 00:30:16.125
I think this really actually
applies to, uh, a business
00:30:16.125 --> 00:30:17.715
problem we're facing right now.
00:30:18.420 --> 00:30:21.930
And we dive into the scriptures and
that helped him make business decisions.
00:30:21.930 --> 00:30:24.960
Like it was, it was really
amazing to get to see that.
00:30:24.960 --> 00:30:28.710
And, and obviously now I, I'm
not a part of Pearl 27 anymore.
00:30:29.310 --> 00:30:32.580
Uh, you know, I just, 'cause now I
have the football gig, when that became
00:30:32.580 --> 00:30:34.290
full-time, I couldn't do both anymore.
00:30:34.290 --> 00:30:38.490
But Isaiah's still there, uh, doing
business development for them along
00:30:38.490 --> 00:30:40.080
with doing the business stuff with me.
00:30:40.350 --> 00:30:45.180
Um, and so it's just like that,
that's another relationship
00:30:45.630 --> 00:30:47.910
that started four years ago
00:30:47.966 --> 00:30:48.386
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:30:48.450 --> 00:30:51.030
Connor Pay: just went up to the guy
and got his number and he helped
00:30:51.030 --> 00:30:52.770
set me up to be a pathway mentor.
00:30:52.770 --> 00:30:56.760
Now that led into, I know that
if football or coaching doesn't
00:30:56.760 --> 00:30:59.370
work out, I could go to Matt and
he would hire me in a heartbeat.
00:30:59.640 --> 00:31:04.050
You know, and it's, and, uh, because
he's seen what I've been able to do.
00:31:04.050 --> 00:31:08.700
And, um, and, you know, part, part
of me, the, the entrepreneur in me
00:31:08.700 --> 00:31:12.600
is kind of bummed that I don't get
to be a part of Pearl 27 anymore and
00:31:12.600 --> 00:31:15.360
be a part of the build and all the
amazing things that they're doing.
00:31:15.360 --> 00:31:16.860
But, um.
00:31:17.520 --> 00:31:22.770
You know, it just, it goes back to, to
that relationship piece and how, had no
00:31:22.770 --> 00:31:25.290
idea I'd ever end up in that situation.
00:31:25.650 --> 00:31:30.150
But God knew, and he gave me the
impression in that team meeting four
00:31:30.150 --> 00:31:35.880
years ago to go and talk to Matt
after and, and offer to, to help.
00:31:36.210 --> 00:31:41.250
And then that turned into a
relationship that, uh, now is a
00:31:41.250 --> 00:31:42.630
great one on the business side.
00:31:42.630 --> 00:31:45.780
And he's on the board of our
foundation helping us do things.
00:31:45.780 --> 00:31:48.990
And so it's, you know,
you just, you never know.
00:31:49.586 --> 00:31:49.826
Jethro: Yeah.
00:31:49.826 --> 00:31:53.306
You really don't, and that's why
it's so important to listen when the
00:31:53.306 --> 00:31:58.616
spirit whispers something as silly
or simple as going up and talking to
00:31:58.616 --> 00:32:02.096
somebody after they gave a presentation
in the room you're in, right?
00:32:02.370 --> 00:32:02.580
Connor Pay: Hmm.
00:32:02.880 --> 00:32:03.180
Right.
00:32:03.386 --> 00:32:05.181
Jethro: you not gone
and talked to 'em then?
00:32:06.506 --> 00:32:10.676
Perhaps all these things would've
still happened, but the reality is
00:32:10.796 --> 00:32:15.836
that you developed and deepened that
relationship over time leading up to that.
00:32:15.836 --> 00:32:15.986
And
00:32:16.305 --> 00:32:16.515
Connor Pay: Hmm.
00:32:16.911 --> 00:32:18.206
Jethro: it, it is where it is.
00:32:18.206 --> 00:32:22.946
And again, we don't know what the future
is gonna hold, but probably going to
00:32:22.946 --> 00:32:25.436
be some connection there in the future.
00:32:25.526 --> 00:32:26.036
And,
00:32:26.150 --> 00:32:26.440
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:32:26.666 --> 00:32:31.406
Jethro: you know, I'm not gonna go
too deep into this, but I mentioned
00:32:31.406 --> 00:32:36.836
in a, in a message to you that I got
a job in January and it is with a
00:32:36.836 --> 00:32:43.256
guy that I first met in 2016, and we
have stayed in touch all this time.
00:32:43.556 --> 00:32:46.706
And then he was like, Hey, I think
you'd be really good for this job.
00:32:46.976 --> 00:32:49.496
And he explained it to me and I
was like, that sounds terrible.
00:32:49.616 --> 00:32:50.906
I don't think I would like that.
00:32:51.296 --> 00:32:53.606
And then he's like, well,
let's just try it for a couple
00:32:53.606 --> 00:32:55.016
months and see what it's like.
00:32:55.346 --> 00:32:56.516
And so we did.
00:32:56.546 --> 00:32:58.136
And then it turns out I totally love it.
00:32:58.136 --> 00:32:59.516
And he saw in me.
00:32:59.861 --> 00:33:01.721
What I couldn't see in myself.
00:33:01.811 --> 00:33:05.891
And that's a, a beautiful
thing because other people can
00:33:05.891 --> 00:33:07.211
see things that we can't see.
00:33:07.211 --> 00:33:09.791
And it was, it turned
out to be a great thing.
00:33:09.911 --> 00:33:13.541
And I would've ne like, like you, I
would've never thought that I'd be
00:33:13.541 --> 00:33:17.501
doing what I'm doing now and that I
would actually enjoy it as much as I do.
00:33:17.771 --> 00:33:21.251
Because on the outside it sounds
super boring, but on the inside
00:33:21.251 --> 00:33:24.611
it's like fascinating solving all
these little tiny problems that
00:33:24.611 --> 00:33:25.811
you didn't even know existed.
00:33:25.841 --> 00:33:26.411
And,
00:33:27.000 --> 00:33:27.360
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:33:27.401 --> 00:33:30.941
Jethro: and, that's the beauty of like
building these relationships and like
00:33:30.941 --> 00:33:36.851
you said, ending each relationship on
a positive note so that when, 'cause
00:33:36.851 --> 00:33:39.611
relationships really are never ended, I
think is the point you're really trying
00:33:39.611 --> 00:33:44.051
to make, that they're gonna come back
later and you're, you're going to have
00:33:44.051 --> 00:33:46.541
interactions with these people again.
00:33:46.601 --> 00:33:49.151
And when you do, you
want to be prepared
00:33:49.350 --> 00:33:50.070
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:33:50.711 --> 00:33:50.921
Jethro: yeah.
00:33:51.030 --> 00:33:53.220
Connor Pay: Can I share,
can I share one more story
00:33:53.411 --> 00:33:53.981
Jethro: Please.
00:33:54.000 --> 00:33:57.090
Connor Pay: since I kind of, I'm kind
of using this podcast as an annual
00:33:57.090 --> 00:33:59.190
diary of my life too, you know, and,
00:33:59.576 --> 00:33:59.786
Jethro: Do
00:33:59.910 --> 00:34:00.510
Connor Pay: um,
00:34:00.596 --> 00:34:00.746
Jethro: it,
00:34:01.680 --> 00:34:04.530
Connor Pay: just, but it's in the
same vein of just, you never know
00:34:04.530 --> 00:34:07.245
what's gonna happen with certain
relationships, even with people that
00:34:07.620 --> 00:34:08.725
you never thought you'd ever know.
00:34:09.225 --> 00:34:09.285
I
00:34:09.386 --> 00:34:09.566
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:34:10.125 --> 00:34:13.185
Connor Pay: didn't think it
you'd ever come in contact with.
00:34:13.695 --> 00:34:15.435
And that, that happened to me.
00:34:15.435 --> 00:34:18.345
And, uh, I don't remember, I don't
remember if we talked about this on the
00:34:18.345 --> 00:34:20.295
podcast last year or not, I'm not sure.
00:34:20.295 --> 00:34:26.085
But during fall camp of my senior
season in 2024, elder Raz Band came
00:34:26.805 --> 00:34:32.355
to practice, um, and spoke at the team
meeting and was answering some questions
00:34:32.355 --> 00:34:34.275
about NIL and some things like that.
00:34:34.305 --> 00:34:37.995
'cause at that time, his assignment
as an apostle was to oversee
00:34:37.995 --> 00:34:39.525
the church education system.
00:34:40.065 --> 00:34:44.205
And so he was kind of, uh, he, he
was kind of indirectly involved.
00:34:44.205 --> 00:34:47.685
He oversaw a lot of things, but obviously
he is not around on the day to day.
00:34:47.685 --> 00:34:52.515
But, um, so he just wanted to come in
and, and talk to the team a little bit.
00:34:52.515 --> 00:34:58.155
And, uh, because we just had
some issues at the end of 2023.
00:34:58.365 --> 00:35:03.735
And some, you know, there were some
players who went public about, uh.
00:35:04.140 --> 00:35:07.440
You know, relationships with companies
and their payouts and all this
00:35:07.440 --> 00:35:09.120
stuff, and it was just a disaster.
00:35:09.120 --> 00:35:13.260
And so I think, uh, I think RAs band
wanted to come in and just be like, Hey,
00:35:13.410 --> 00:35:15.480
like, I'll, let me answer your questions.
00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:17.100
Like, we're gonna, we're
gonna figure this out.
00:35:17.100 --> 00:35:20.010
And especially when
things, it comes to money.
00:35:20.010 --> 00:35:23.520
BYU always is conservative and
tries to do things the right way.
00:35:23.580 --> 00:35:25.440
And I think he just
wanted to reiterate that.
00:35:25.440 --> 00:35:28.350
But there was a lot of questions in
that team meeting and he could tell
00:35:28.350 --> 00:35:31.920
that players were frustrated a little
bit with how some things had been
00:35:31.920 --> 00:35:35.160
handled, um, by the administration.
00:35:36.240 --> 00:35:41.130
And so he, I think he just wanted to
talk to someone who was a veteran, you
00:35:41.130 --> 00:35:44.670
know, who had been around, who knew
how BYU worked and all that stuff.
00:35:44.670 --> 00:35:50.220
And so he asked to have, uh, lunch
with me after practice, uh, that day.
00:35:50.910 --> 00:35:52.740
Um, and so.
00:35:53.445 --> 00:35:57.495
I went and, uh, sat down and had
lunch with him and he got to know
00:35:57.495 --> 00:36:00.165
me a little bit and he is like,
Hey, I just wanted, he is like, this
00:36:00.165 --> 00:36:01.755
is your third year as a captain.
00:36:01.785 --> 00:36:02.505
You're a leader.
00:36:02.505 --> 00:36:03.735
You're a BYU guy.
00:36:03.735 --> 00:36:05.715
Your dad played here, all this stuff.
00:36:06.465 --> 00:36:11.685
Um, and he was like, I just, he's like,
I just want to ask you some questions
00:36:11.685 --> 00:36:13.065
about how the guys are feeling.
00:36:13.845 --> 00:36:15.195
Um, and all that stuff.
00:36:15.195 --> 00:36:18.285
He just, I think he just wanted to get
a pulse from the other end, you know?
00:36:18.315 --> 00:36:20.685
'cause all he hears is the
perspective from the top.
00:36:21.045 --> 00:36:24.375
You know, the ad the president, they
all report up to him, but I think he
00:36:24.375 --> 00:36:28.725
wanted to hear from people down at
the bottom, uh, us you know, to see
00:36:28.725 --> 00:36:31.725
if, to see if what, what they were
saying and what we were actually
00:36:31.725 --> 00:36:33.615
experiencing were synonymous or not.
00:36:34.515 --> 00:36:40.065
Uh, and so he ended up asking me some
questions, some hard ones, um, you
00:36:40.065 --> 00:36:45.525
know, and, uh, about NIL and the future
of BYU and kind of what I thought
00:36:45.585 --> 00:36:47.655
how BYU is doing on the NIL side.
00:36:47.655 --> 00:36:52.275
And, um, you know, and I, I had, I had.
00:36:53.265 --> 00:37:00.195
I have a tendency to, uh, to speak my
mind, you know, and I had been vocal at
00:37:00.195 --> 00:37:04.635
times about me disagreeing with the way
BY U'S Athletic Administration has ha
00:37:04.635 --> 00:37:07.515
had handled NIL in the football program.
00:37:07.515 --> 00:37:11.505
And there were some certain things that
they were blocked for us so they could
00:37:11.505 --> 00:37:16.545
be given to basketball and some other
stuff like that, that just, uh, we didn't
00:37:16.545 --> 00:37:21.285
feel like was fair since we bring in
90% of the revenue to BYU Athletics.
00:37:21.285 --> 00:37:25.155
And so I was, I, I asked him, I said,
well, RAs Bank, can I just, can I
00:37:25.155 --> 00:37:26.595
have permission to speak freely?
00:37:26.775 --> 00:37:27.135
You know?
00:37:27.135 --> 00:37:29.595
And he was like, please, like, please do.
00:37:29.595 --> 00:37:34.965
And we ended up talking
for almost two and
a half hours, just about all this stuff.
00:37:34.965 --> 00:37:39.735
And I, I, I told him about all the things
that I, I, I aired my grievances, so to
00:37:39.735 --> 00:37:46.485
speak, with the administration and, and
with the, uh, with the, uh, program.
00:37:46.695 --> 00:37:49.065
But then I also talked a lot
about the stuff that I thought
00:37:49.065 --> 00:37:50.535
we were doing fantastic at.
00:37:50.561 --> 00:37:50.851
Jethro: Yeah.
00:37:51.285 --> 00:37:53.625
Connor Pay: Um, and how far BYU had come.
00:37:54.255 --> 00:37:59.085
Um, and then, you know, I thought that
was the, uh, I thought that was it.
00:37:59.175 --> 00:38:01.725
I was like, you know, he just
wanted to get a pulse on, on the
00:38:01.725 --> 00:38:03.225
team from a player's perspective.
00:38:03.225 --> 00:38:06.405
And, but he did say something
to me at the end, 'cause I was,
00:38:06.525 --> 00:38:08.235
I wasn't afraid to be honest.
00:38:08.235 --> 00:38:11.715
And, and a little bit,
um, negative with him.
00:38:11.715 --> 00:38:14.265
Like, Hey, there are some things
I really think aren't going well.
00:38:15.015 --> 00:38:15.645
Uh,
00:38:16.001 --> 00:38:20.141
Jethro: He probably really valued that
because somebody in his position likely
00:38:20.681 --> 00:38:25.061
gets told, you know, everything's
rosy and we'll do whatever you
00:38:25.061 --> 00:38:26.711
say because you're an apostle and,
00:38:26.955 --> 00:38:27.795
Connor Pay: that's what he said.
00:38:28.215 --> 00:38:29.955
That's one of the most
interesting things he said to me.
00:38:29.955 --> 00:38:31.665
He said, thank you for being honest.
00:38:32.385 --> 00:38:35.625
He said, that's one of the most
difficult things about being an apostle.
00:38:35.685 --> 00:38:36.675
And I was like, what do you mean?
00:38:36.945 --> 00:38:38.235
He said, people lie to me.
00:38:38.326 --> 00:38:38.616
Jethro: yeah.
00:38:38.946 --> 00:38:39.296
Crazy
00:38:39.985 --> 00:38:41.310
Connor Pay: And I was like, wow.
00:38:41.310 --> 00:38:45.000
He's like, and he is like, I think it's
because they're just, they're afraid of
00:38:45.000 --> 00:38:49.560
my position or saying, being like, Hey,
here's this thing I'm responsible for.
00:38:49.560 --> 00:38:50.850
It's really not going good.
00:38:51.240 --> 00:38:54.720
You know, I think people are afraid to
say that to him because of his position.
00:38:55.260 --> 00:38:58.560
And that ended up turning
into a fantastic relationship.
00:38:59.670 --> 00:39:06.060
Um, and a number of things happened after
that, where a, after that conversation,
00:39:06.750 --> 00:39:12.420
Ella RAs band wanted some things changed
and, you know, and, and, uh, I think
00:39:12.420 --> 00:39:14.760
the program just continues to improve.
00:39:14.820 --> 00:39:20.280
But then every time, every time, 'cause
Razan, uh, tries to make it to as many
00:39:20.280 --> 00:39:22.380
of our games as he can when he's in town.
00:39:22.500 --> 00:39:28.260
Uh, or sometimes when he gets lucky,
he'll get sent on a assignment to
00:39:28.260 --> 00:39:32.040
come to a leadership conference or
something in the same place that
00:39:32.040 --> 00:39:33.600
we're playing at an away game.
00:39:33.671 --> 00:39:34.061
Jethro: awesome.
00:39:34.215 --> 00:39:37.335
Connor Pay: so occasionally he'll be
at the hotel and we're in an away game.
00:39:37.335 --> 00:39:42.045
And he always, ever since then, he
always sought me out and wanted to
00:39:42.045 --> 00:39:44.235
check up on me and on my family.
00:39:44.745 --> 00:39:48.165
And, uh, it ended up turning
into a real friendship.
00:39:48.525 --> 00:39:54.615
Um, and you know, it, I was communicating
with him almost weekly and uh, you
00:39:54.615 --> 00:39:57.945
know, got to the point too where my
brother, my younger brother, my youngest
00:39:57.945 --> 00:40:02.595
brother was really struggling with
the decision of whether to graduate
00:40:02.595 --> 00:40:08.595
early and serve a mission or to see
the rest of his senior year out, play
00:40:08.595 --> 00:40:11.085
baseball and some stuff like that.
00:40:11.085 --> 00:40:15.465
And then go, um, or even to
go play football for a year
00:40:15.615 --> 00:40:16.845
and then go on his mission.
00:40:16.845 --> 00:40:18.795
He just was having a
really hard time with it.
00:40:19.365 --> 00:40:22.515
And, uh, Al Razan invited
him up to his office.
00:40:22.995 --> 00:40:26.565
Um, and so my little brother
and I got to go up to Salt Lake.
00:40:27.060 --> 00:40:29.790
And go sit down with all the RAs
band and Austin gotta sit there and
00:40:29.790 --> 00:40:34.710
just ask him questions about how
to, how to find answers to prayer
00:40:35.100 --> 00:40:36.990
and, you know, receive revelation.
00:40:36.990 --> 00:40:41.040
And he, 'cause he didn't know what to do
and it was, it, it was pretty awesome.
00:40:41.040 --> 00:40:42.330
Like, who gets to do that?
00:40:42.390 --> 00:40:45.720
You know, like, who gets to go sit,
take their little brother to go sit
00:40:45.720 --> 00:40:47.640
in an apostle's office so he can help
00:40:47.801 --> 00:40:48.091
Jethro: Yeah.
00:40:48.180 --> 00:40:49.800
Connor Pay: answers to his life questions,
00:40:50.591 --> 00:40:51.071
Jethro: So
00:40:51.090 --> 00:40:51.750
Connor Pay: you know, and
00:40:52.181 --> 00:40:54.761
Jethro: I, want to come back to
the NIL stuff in a minute, but on
00:40:54.761 --> 00:40:57.791
that topic, what was your takeaway?
00:40:57.791 --> 00:41:00.761
Not what did Elder Raban say
to your brother, but what was
00:41:00.960 --> 00:41:01.140
Connor Pay: mm-hmm.
00:41:02.111 --> 00:41:05.621
Jethro: from that conversation about
receiving revelation for yourself?
00:41:06.720 --> 00:41:12.540
Connor Pay: Um, I, for me, I think
the biggest takeaways were to
00:41:12.690 --> 00:41:15.600
trust your immediate impressions.
00:41:16.410 --> 00:41:20.640
Um, and 'cause one of the
things that
he shared with my brother that really
00:41:20.640 --> 00:41:26.040
resonated with me was that a lot of times
we get caught in this cycle of, I felt it.
00:41:26.430 --> 00:41:27.810
Ooh, I think, Ooh.
00:41:27.810 --> 00:41:28.710
But then I'm not sure.
00:41:28.901 --> 00:41:29.411
Jethro: yeah.
00:41:29.460 --> 00:41:32.130
Connor Pay: And then, and then
we get caught in this spiral of,
00:41:32.220 --> 00:41:34.260
of Yes, no, maybe, I don't know.
00:41:34.290 --> 00:41:34.560
Yes.
00:41:34.560 --> 00:41:35.610
Again, I don't know.
00:41:36.240 --> 00:41:41.550
And he is, he's like, look, um,
similar to the way Elder Bednar
00:41:41.550 --> 00:41:44.970
teaches it, or he is like, whether
it's me or the Holy Ghost and other
00:41:44.970 --> 00:41:46.950
Bednar says, stop worrying about it.
00:41:46.961 --> 00:41:47.261
Jethro: Yep.
00:41:47.850 --> 00:41:49.800
Connor Pay: You know, if it's,
if you feel like it's a good
00:41:49.800 --> 00:41:51.090
thing, it's the right thing.
00:41:51.480 --> 00:41:54.690
That doesn't always mean it's
gonna be an easy thing, right.
00:41:54.690 --> 00:41:55.740
But he is like, go with it.
00:41:56.250 --> 00:41:57.180
He's like, go with it.
00:41:57.180 --> 00:42:02.640
And so, um, the one thing I appreciated
too is he didn't influence, try to
00:42:02.700 --> 00:42:04.680
influence Austin in one way or another.
00:42:05.580 --> 00:42:08.940
Um, especially like, 'cause
Austin was still undecided on what
00:42:08.940 --> 00:42:10.380
school he was gonna go play at.
00:42:10.380 --> 00:42:15.540
And at the time he was headed to Oregon,
he had had a really good experience there.
00:42:16.080 --> 00:42:21.150
Um, and uh, you know, I think in his
mind they were number one at that moment.
00:42:22.140 --> 00:42:24.635
But Raz Band didn't even
talk about BYU with him.
00:42:24.915 --> 00:42:25.965
Yeah, really.
00:42:25.965 --> 00:42:31.605
And, and, uh, he, he just talked
about what he felt like the values of
00:42:31.605 --> 00:42:35.055
a mission were, and you know, what,
how it could make Austin a better
00:42:35.055 --> 00:42:38.265
athlete, a better football player,
which has been my experience, you know?
00:42:38.265 --> 00:42:41.445
So I agreed with all that,
but just, it was cool to see.
00:42:41.445 --> 00:42:49.395
And then he gave us both copies, um,
of his book, uh, and to be not afraid.
00:42:50.625 --> 00:42:56.265
And, uh, I think Austin, even though
it's not like Austin asked directly,
00:42:56.265 --> 00:42:57.765
like, elder Raban, you're an apostle.
00:42:57.765 --> 00:43:03.015
Tell me what to do, you know, he, he,
uh, to, to my little brother's credit,
00:43:03.045 --> 00:43:06.495
he wanted to know how to actually do it.
00:43:07.185 --> 00:43:11.265
He didn't just want someone to feed
him an answer, and, but he came away
00:43:11.265 --> 00:43:15.165
after that conversation, pretty settled
on what he felt like he should do.
00:43:15.915 --> 00:43:17.565
Um, and.
00:43:18.300 --> 00:43:22.800
You know, it was just, it was just cool to
where it's like, even, even when we're not
00:43:22.860 --> 00:43:27.270
talking directly about a specific thing,
if you can just put yourself in situations
00:43:27.270 --> 00:43:30.960
where the Holy Ghost can be present,
all of a sudden you might get answers to
00:43:30.960 --> 00:43:32.520
things you weren't even thinking about.
00:43:33.611 --> 00:43:33.831
Jethro: Yep.
00:43:33.840 --> 00:43:36.000
Connor Pay: Um, and that, that
happens to me all the time.
00:43:36.000 --> 00:43:39.510
It's one of the, uh, it's one of
the reasons why I love the temple.
00:43:39.961 --> 00:43:40.181
Jethro: Yep.
00:43:40.200 --> 00:43:42.990
Connor Pay: It's like I can go sit
in the celestial room and I could be
00:43:42.990 --> 00:43:48.210
praying about some challenge or topic,
and that I isn't completely unrelated
00:43:48.240 --> 00:43:50.130
to the answer I get occasionally.
00:43:51.570 --> 00:43:54.780
It's been very rare for me, at
least for me, and may, maybe
00:43:54.780 --> 00:43:56.130
this is a lapse on my part.
00:43:56.130 --> 00:43:57.360
Maybe I'm just not good at it.
00:43:57.420 --> 00:44:01.320
But, um, it's very rare for me to
sit down, pray about something,
00:44:01.320 --> 00:44:02.580
and then just receive an answer.
00:44:03.930 --> 00:44:05.370
Like, oh, yep, this is what I should do.
00:44:05.370 --> 00:44:07.350
For me, it's like, it's, it's a process.
00:44:07.680 --> 00:44:12.450
It's laying out options and,
and, uh, it's, and that was
00:44:12.450 --> 00:44:13.800
all the rasp band's advice too.
00:44:13.800 --> 00:44:17.280
Like, it's like, look, the Lord, the
Lord expects you to do some work too.
00:44:18.375 --> 00:44:22.035
Like, it's, it's, it's, you know, it's
like that scripture in the, in the
00:44:22.035 --> 00:44:27.255
doctrine and covenants, you know, that
talks about to, to, you know, uh, play it
00:44:27.255 --> 00:44:29.115
out in your mind and think things through.
00:44:29.115 --> 00:44:31.545
Then ask me if it be right.
00:44:31.545 --> 00:44:34.755
And so, um, he was like,
go, go through the options.
00:44:34.771 --> 00:44:35.191
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:44:35.445 --> 00:44:37.365
Connor Pay: what you think's
good or bad about each one.
00:44:38.085 --> 00:44:41.415
See, see how it feels, and then
take those feelings to the Lord,
00:44:41.595 --> 00:44:44.835
you know, and then he can help, he
can help give you the final nudge
00:44:45.086 --> 00:44:45.446
Jethro: Yep.
00:44:45.495 --> 00:44:46.035
Connor Pay: you need.
00:44:46.035 --> 00:44:48.135
And that, that was one
of my biggest takeaways.
00:44:48.236 --> 00:44:48.506
Jethro: Yeah.
00:44:48.506 --> 00:44:50.126
So, uh, two things on that.
00:44:50.126 --> 00:44:54.986
Number one, uh, the, the
receiving revelation part of.
00:44:56.571 --> 00:45:00.326
A ask the question and
be ready for the answer.
00:45:00.956 -->
00:45:04.946
Even when you asked the question
three months ago and the questions
00:45:04.946 --> 00:45:08.546
coming now, when you're, when you're
looking for the answer to a different
00:45:08.546 --> 00:45:10.466
question, that's a very real thing.
00:45:10.466 --> 00:45:14.846
And that happens to me all the time too,
where a lot of times with, with these
00:45:14.846 --> 00:45:19.166
questions that are right in front of
us, we probably already know what to do.
00:45:19.526 --> 00:45:23.366
And so there's something else
that we, that we need guidance on
00:45:23.366 --> 00:45:27.776
that that is not the thing that we
think we really need guidance on.
00:45:28.166 --> 00:45:31.811
And, and it's really fascinating
how that has happened.
00:45:31.811 --> 00:45:38.726
And just briefly for me, uh, a lot of
that ha has been around how to support
00:45:38.726 --> 00:45:44.426
my kids and help my kids when they're
dealing with something that I will get
00:45:44.756 --> 00:45:47.216
an answer to, something that they need.
00:45:47.696 --> 00:45:48.926
When it's right for them.
00:45:49.106 --> 00:45:51.866
Not necessarily when,
when it's right for me.
00:45:51.986 --> 00:45:54.776
And, and that's a, that's
an interesting thing too.
00:45:54.776 --> 00:46:01.196
And then the second piece of, of Austin
not, not going in and saying, tell me what
00:46:01.196 --> 00:46:03.716
to do, but help me know how to do this.
00:46:03.866 --> 00:46:09.986
Just think about how many guys girls and,
and people Austin's gonna be able to share
00:46:09.986 --> 00:46:14.996
that experience with later in life and how
powerful that's gonna be for all of them.
00:46:14.996 --> 00:46:20.486
I think that, that, that idea
of ministering to the one that
00:46:20.486 --> 00:46:23.786
our church leaders talk about,
that's what it's all about.
00:46:23.816 --> 00:46:30.686
And, you know, elder RAs band that because
this was a person that needed something.
00:46:30.686 --> 00:46:33.956
I'm sure Elder RAs band has turned
down opportunities where people
00:46:33.956 --> 00:46:35.276
have said, I need some advice.
00:46:35.606 --> 00:46:37.826
And he is like, ah, I, I just can't do it.
00:46:38.156 --> 00:46:38.816
And for
00:46:38.855 --> 00:46:38.975
Connor Pay: Hmm.
00:46:39.206 --> 00:46:43.256
Jethro: reason, he, he also,
I'm sure, felt that he needed to
00:46:43.256 --> 00:46:46.166
do this for Austin and for you.
00:46:46.680 --> 00:46:47.010
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:46:47.081 --> 00:46:47.771
Jethro: what end?
00:46:47.801 --> 00:46:51.851
We don't know, but, I'm sure the,
the Lord's hand was in that also.
00:46:53.070 --> 00:46:57.190
Connor Pay: Well, I think you know what's
interesting is now as now Elda, Razan
00:46:57.190 --> 00:47:02.490
and I have grown close, I've spent more
time with him around the other, uh.
00:47:03.105 --> 00:47:04.695
Quorum of the 12 members.
00:47:05.265 --> 00:47:07.995
And it's interesting, as I've
watched them interact with people,
00:47:07.995 --> 00:47:11.415
very rarely do they give people
direct answers to their questions.
00:47:11.415 --> 00:47:13.035
They always teach principles.
00:47:14.475 --> 00:47:16.695
That's, that's something
that I've, I've noticed.
00:47:16.725 --> 00:47:20.175
Now, obviously if it's, if it's
a simple question and stuff, then
00:47:20.175 --> 00:47:21.375
they'll give a straight answer.
00:47:21.375 --> 00:47:25.335
But a lot of times with the deeper
life questions, they'll give, they give
00:47:25.335 --> 00:47:30.285
either advice from their own experience,
like, 'cause a lot of 'em, they've, I
00:47:30.285 --> 00:47:31.755
mean, look, they're all fricking old.
00:47:31.905 --> 00:47:35.175
Like they've, they've been around the
block a few times, you know, and like
00:47:35.175 --> 00:47:38.775
they've, they've experienced a lot of
things, a lot of hard things, most of 'em.
00:47:39.705 --> 00:47:46.065
Um, and, uh, um, to hear them
share their experience, like, this
00:47:46.065 --> 00:47:48.105
is, this is what's worked for me.
00:47:48.465 --> 00:47:53.325
But it, it always seems to be like,
they always teach principles, you know,
00:47:53.325 --> 00:47:55.725
because, because principles can be applied
00:47:55.886 --> 00:47:56.486
Jethro: Yes.
00:47:56.505 --> 00:47:58.545
Connor Pay: situation in your life.
00:47:58.635 --> 00:48:02.175
A one, a direct answer, can't.
00:48:02.456 --> 00:48:02.786
Jethro: Yeah.
00:48:02.820 --> 00:48:06.180
Connor Pay: applied to every situation
in your life, but a concept can.
00:48:07.050 --> 00:48:12.990
Um, and so that's one of the things that
I hate about school, to be honest, is,
00:48:13.080 --> 00:48:17.310
is it, uh, it forces people into boxes
00:48:17.366 --> 00:48:17.666
Jethro: Yep.
00:48:18.150 --> 00:48:19.740
Connor Pay: that there's
only one right answer.
00:48:19.740 --> 00:48:23.010
And I get it In certain situations
like math and the sciences and all
00:48:23.010 --> 00:48:27.660
that, like, yes, there is, there is
one right answer, but for 90% of the
00:48:27.660 --> 00:48:31.020
other things, it's like, no, we need
to teach correct concepts that can be
00:48:31.020 --> 00:48:34.740
applied across a variety of situations.
00:48:34.740 --> 00:48:35.940
Like that's real learning
00:48:36.086 --> 00:48:36.536
Jethro: Yeah.
00:48:36.900 --> 00:48:38.880
Connor Pay: that's real
teaching if you can do that.
00:48:39.060 --> 00:48:43.560
Um, and that's how they teach and
it's been pretty remarkable to see.
00:48:43.560 --> 00:48:46.020
And um, that's exactly what he did.
00:48:46.020 --> 00:48:50.880
I, I asked him to be, uh, the sealer
at me and Mallory's wedding and so
00:48:50.910 --> 00:48:52.860
he, uh, he sealed my wife and me.
00:48:53.126 --> 00:48:53.246
Jethro: It's
00:48:53.580 --> 00:48:56.610
Connor Pay: Um, and we got to
spend, uh, some time together in
00:48:56.610 --> 00:49:00.810
the celestial room beforehand, and
he took us into an endowment room
00:49:00.815 --> 00:49:02.430
and, and taught us a little bit.
00:49:02.430 --> 00:49:05.970
And then, and then he, uh,
even in the ceiling room, he
00:49:06.810 --> 00:49:08.460
peppered me with a few questions.
00:49:08.490 --> 00:49:11.460
So that was in front of everybody,
in front of all our guests.
00:49:11.460 --> 00:49:12.450
So that was joyful.
00:49:12.626 --> 00:49:13.016
Jethro: a lot.
00:49:13.230 --> 00:49:17.340
Connor Pay: Um, but, uh, even
then he taught, he taught
00:49:17.340 --> 00:49:19.080
from the family proclamation
00:49:19.301 --> 00:49:19.721
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:49:19.920 --> 00:49:23.700
Connor Pay: in our temple ceiling in
front of everyone to see and teaching
00:49:23.700 --> 00:49:28.050
about marriage and unity and, and you
know, what it means to be equal partners.
00:49:28.136 --> 00:49:28.556
Jethro: Yeah.
00:49:29.610 --> 00:49:33.510
Connor Pay: and it was really, it was
pretty amazing, uh, to, to get, to have
00:49:33.510 --> 00:49:34.920
that, and get to be taught in that way.
00:49:34.920 --> 00:49:37.140
But again, even in that
moment, he taught concepts.
00:49:37.316 --> 00:49:37.556
Jethro: Yeah.
00:49:37.650 --> 00:49:41.640
Connor Pay: You know, he didn't tell us
how to make our marriage perfect, right?
00:49:41.640 --> 00:49:43.830
He said, here are some principles
that can make it great,
00:49:44.096 --> 00:49:44.486
Jethro: Yeah.
00:49:44.640 --> 00:49:45.450
Connor Pay: know, and, uh.
00:49:46.020 --> 00:49:47.220
And then it was actually pretty cool.
00:49:47.220 --> 00:49:50.730
He highlighted those sections, he
dated it, and then he signed that
00:49:50.730 --> 00:49:52.770
family proclamation and gave it to us.
00:49:52.770 --> 00:49:56.010
And so we're gonna be able to
frame it and have that forever.
00:49:56.010 --> 00:49:56.370
So
00:49:56.786 --> 00:49:57.266
Jethro: Yeah.
00:49:57.390 --> 00:50:02.250
Connor Pay: anyways, just, but again,
it's like never in a million years would
00:50:02.250 --> 00:50:07.500
I ever thought I should or would have a
relationship with an apostle of the Lord.
00:50:08.130 --> 00:50:09.240
And then here we are.
00:50:09.420 --> 00:50:13.410
I consider him a close friend, and he
just sealed my wife and I just a, a
00:50:13.410 --> 00:50:17.640
month and a half ago, you know, and I
guess two months ago today, actually,
00:50:17.640 --> 00:50:19.020
it's our two month anniversary.
00:50:19.260 --> 00:50:21.480
But, uh, um,
00:50:21.506 --> 00:50:22.316
Jethro: here you are with me.
00:50:22.410 --> 00:50:22.860
Connor Pay: you know, yeah,
00:50:23.096 --> 00:50:23.966
Jethro: I'm sorry, Mallory.
00:50:23.966 --> 00:50:24.686
I didn't know.
00:50:25.230 --> 00:50:28.890
Connor Pay: no, she's, I, I would've, uh,
I would've brought her on and had her chat
00:50:28.890 --> 00:50:30.660
too, so we could kind of do this together.
00:50:30.746 --> 00:50:31.166
Jethro: Yeah.
00:50:31.200 --> 00:50:33.870
Connor Pay: she, uh, she's
actually sick today, unfortunately.
00:50:33.870 --> 00:50:36.330
So hopefully she's, hopefully
she's laying in bed.
00:50:36.420 --> 00:50:36.720
But,
00:50:36.761 --> 00:50:37.151
Jethro: kidding.
00:50:37.361 --> 00:50:38.201
Well, in
00:50:38.280 --> 00:50:38.970
Connor Pay: anyways.
00:50:39.011 --> 00:50:40.841
Jethro: want to have
her join, then that, I'm
00:50:40.920 --> 00:50:41.190
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:50:41.220 --> 00:50:43.950
Next, next year is we
for will, for sure will.
00:50:43.980 --> 00:50:46.140
'cause now we're doing
this together, right?
00:50:46.170 --> 00:50:49.710
This isn't, it's not my, it's not
my decade, never to be forgotten.
00:50:49.710 --> 00:50:50.640
It's ours.
00:50:50.700 --> 00:50:51.120
So
00:50:51.341 --> 00:50:52.661
Jethro: that's the right
way to think about it.
00:50:52.991 --> 00:50:55.781
Um, so we will get to
Mallory in a moment, but I do
00:50:55.890 --> 00:50:56.280
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:50:56.321 --> 00:50:57.911
Jethro: to the NIL thing because
00:50:58.290 --> 00:50:58.470
Connor Pay: Sure.
00:50:58.601 --> 00:51:02.921
Jethro: has certainly changed
how college sports are played.
00:51:02.921 --> 00:51:07.391
And you are now in a, in a role
where you are involved in that
00:51:07.391 --> 00:51:08.771
'cause you're involved in recruiting.
00:51:09.551 --> 00:51:20.711
are, what are some of the, the, the ways
that you either to manage that, uh, Well,
00:51:20.711 --> 00:51:27.251
or how you teach guys now to manage that
Well, and, and what, what that looks like.
00:51:27.251 --> 00:51:30.131
'cause it used to be that if,
so, like I, I have a friend
00:51:30.131 --> 00:51:31.721
who is a collegiate athlete at.
00:51:32.561 --> 00:51:33.851
this school that's red.
00:51:33.911 --> 00:51:39.761
And she, she was, uh, track and she
told us about how she was eating
00:51:39.761 --> 00:51:43.601
ramen noodles basically, uh, all
the time because she had no money.
00:51:43.931 --> 00:51:48.521
And she got a scholarship and had room and
board, but then didn't have anything else.
00:51:48.521 --> 00:51:51.461
And you actually, I think, have
lived on both ends of that,
00:51:51.950 --> 00:51:52.425
Connor Pay: I have,
00:51:52.871 --> 00:51:54.311
Jethro: pre and post NIL.
00:51:54.311 --> 00:51:54.731
So
00:51:55.515 --> 00:51:55.935
Connor Pay: well,
00:51:56.021 --> 00:51:56.951
Jethro: a big, a big
00:51:57.110 --> 00:51:57.230
Connor Pay: I
00:51:57.251 --> 00:51:58.781
Jethro: So talk to me about that and
00:51:58.875 --> 00:52:00.795
Connor Pay: sure it is a big change.
00:52:00.825 --> 00:52:02.055
It's even bigger now.
00:52:02.115 --> 00:52:05.955
It's even bigger now that rev
revenue share is a part of the deal.
00:52:05.955 --> 00:52:08.565
So I only had one year
of that piece of it.
00:52:08.741 --> 00:52:09.311
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:52:09.855 --> 00:52:15.375
Connor Pay: but, uh, you know, and I, I'm
sure our situation
is still a lot better
00:52:15.825 --> 00:52:20.115
than your friends was, you know, like
our, our, our schooling and books were
00:52:20.115 --> 00:52:26.025
paid for, and then we got a $2,000 a month
stipend while we were on scholarship for,
00:52:26.025 --> 00:52:28.455
for rent and whatever else we needed.
00:52:28.455 --> 00:52:31.395
Which, you know, for a college
student most of the time with
00:52:31.395 --> 00:52:32.470
roommates, like that was plenty.
00:52:32.876 --> 00:52:33.206
Jethro: Yeah.
00:52:33.296 --> 00:52:33.536
No
00:52:33.780 --> 00:52:37.710
Connor Pay: Um, but now in the world of
NIL, we've got guys making a hundred,
00:52:37.710 --> 00:52:43.530
200, 300, 800, $900,000 a year, you
know, and, and the, the top of the top
00:52:43.530 --> 00:52:48.990
in college football in the millions, you
know, and, and, uh, you know, as, as, as
00:52:48.990 --> 00:52:52.770
a player, like, I'm, I'm very, I'm very
glad it's happening, you know, because
00:52:52.770 --> 00:52:54.330
I do feel like the players deserve it.
00:52:54.330 --> 00:52:58.200
I do think there needs to be a
little bit of regulation just
00:52:58.200 --> 00:53:01.320
to, just to keep everyone on
the same sort of playing field.
00:53:01.830 --> 00:53:07.140
But, uh, I think the players, you know,
according to their marketability, should
00:53:07.140 --> 00:53:08.670
be able to make as much as they can.
00:53:08.670 --> 00:53:08.880
And,
00:53:08.921 --> 00:53:09.341
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:53:09.450 --> 00:53:12.870
Connor Pay: know, it's been a billion
dollar industry for decades, and yet
00:53:12.870 --> 00:53:17.400
they wanted it to be amateurism while
the, while the NCAA lined their pockets.
00:53:17.430 --> 00:53:19.770
So, um, but it's okay.
00:53:19.770 --> 00:53:20.820
We sued them and we won.
00:53:20.831 --> 00:53:21.191
Jethro: There
00:53:21.270 --> 00:53:22.470
Connor Pay: Uh, but
00:53:22.481 --> 00:53:23.921
Jethro: like, right now
we're in the middle of the
00:53:23.921 --> 00:53:25.901
basketball transfer portal, and
00:53:25.950 --> 00:53:26.400
Connor Pay: Oh, yeah.
00:53:26.651 --> 00:53:31.031
Jethro: like almost everybody from the BYU
basketball team has entered the portal.
00:53:31.035 --> 00:53:31.455
Connor Pay: Mm-hmm.
00:53:32.111 --> 00:53:35.831
Jethro: Rob Wright that I'm aware of is
the only one who's come back right now.
00:53:36.225 --> 00:53:36.555
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:53:36.611 --> 00:53:40.961
Jethro: but I mean, to me, and I, I
don't have any inside information.
00:53:40.961 --> 00:53:43.481
I'm not asking you to give
any inside information, but
00:53:43.545 --> 00:53:43.845
Connor Pay: Mm-hmm.
00:53:43.871 --> 00:53:48.311
Jethro: like it'd be crazy to not
put your name in the portal if you
00:53:48.311 --> 00:53:53.231
could possibly go out and get a, a
better deal, especially if you don't
00:53:53.235 --> 00:53:53.625
Connor Pay: Yeah.
00:53:53.741 --> 00:53:55.181
Jethro: gonna go pro like
00:53:56.055 --> 00:53:56.565
Connor Pay: No, no.
00:53:56.565 --> 00:54:00.165
And I, I, to be honest, everyone gets
frustrated and everyone gets mad and
00:54:00.735 --> 00:54:04.095
about guys entering the portal and
like, look, you won't find a guy that
00:54:04.095 --> 00:54:06.555
bleeds deeper blue and BYU than me.
00:54:06.611 --> 00:54:06.851
Jethro: Uhhuh.
00:54:07.185 --> 00:54:09.705
Connor Pay: But it's like, look,
especially for those players where it's
00:54:09.825 --> 00:54:14.865
like, I, I don't think, and the NFL is
my future, there's, there's a legitimate
00:54:14.865 --> 00:54:18.705
chance of a very high likelihood that
these players will never make this
00:54:18.705 --> 00:54:20.715
amount of money ever again in their life.
00:54:20.761 --> 00:54:21.051
Jethro: Yeah.
00:54:22.005 --> 00:54:25.185
Connor Pay: It's like, I mean, you
could, you could be, if you're, if
00:54:25.185 --> 00:54:29.295
you're a, a starter, a returning
starter power for offensive line.
00:54:30.180 --> 00:54:35.670
You're gonna be making anywhere
from 200 to $750,000 a year.
00:54:37.050 --> 00:54:41.280
Go ask anyone of their former
teammates who's making anywhere
00:54:41.280 --> 00:54:45.540
near that, even 10 years into
their career, almost none of them.
00:54:45.561 --> 00:54:45.851
Jethro: Yeah.
00:54:46.470 --> 00:54:49.530
Connor Pay: And so it's like,
for me, like I, I totally get it.
00:54:49.530 --> 00:54:56.460
And I'm, I am, uh, you know, I do
think BYU is a little nuanced in that
00:54:56.460 --> 00:55:03.090
area because I do think the value of
BYU as it represents more than most
00:55:03.090 --> 00:55:07.170
other college places, I do think
that accounts for something and BYU
00:55:07.170 --> 00:55:08.490
is not gonna be the highest bidder.
00:55:09.060 --> 00:55:13.140
Um, so I know basketball's not necessarily
following that model right now, but,
00:55:13.740 --> 00:55:18.780
um, at least in the football program,
you know, like our philosophy is, uh, is
00:55:19.080 --> 00:55:20.640
like, look, we're gonna be competitive.
00:55:20.640 --> 00:55:25.320
Like, like B-Y-U-B-Y-U is,
is willing to be competitive.
00:55:26.160 --> 00:55:29.340
But it's like you gotta understand
that representing and getting to
00:55:29.340 --> 00:55:33.540
play at BYU and everything that BYU
brings to your life, that's value too.
00:55:34.380 --> 00:55:36.990
And so it's like, look, you might
make a couple hundred thousand
00:55:36.990 --> 00:55:40.590
dollars less at BYU than you would
at some other school, but it's like,
00:55:40.590 --> 00:55:41.880
what are you getting in return?
00:55:42.206 --> 00:55:42.496
Jethro: Yeah.
00:55:43.170 --> 00:55:45.960
Connor Pay: You know, the type of
people and coaches you gotta be, get
00:55:45.960 --> 00:55:49.710
to play with and be coached by the
network you're building at BYU, which
00:55:49.710 --> 00:55:51.840
I think is elite, in my opinion.
00:55:51.840 --> 00:55:52.500
Elite.
00:55:53.250 --> 00:55:57.480
Um, you know, especially if you're
a latter day saint, getting to have
00:55:57.480 --> 00:55:59.220
that mixed into your education.
00:56:00.090 --> 00:56:04.020
There are plenty, there are plenty of
latter day saint players on our team who
00:56:04.020 --> 00:56:07.890
started at other schools and just hearing
them talk about it, how it's like, you
00:56:07.890 --> 00:56:11.070
know, it was really fun to play at a
big time program somewhere else or some
00:56:11.070 --> 00:56:12.570
other things, but it wasn't the same.
00:56:13.380 --> 00:56:17.460
It's not the same as BYU and they ended
up back here because they value it
00:56:17.460 --> 00:56:22.200
and they want it, even though frankly,
a few of those guys probably could
00:56:22.200 --> 00:56:23.760
go make more money somewhere else.
00:56:24.480 --> 00:56:29.220
And that, that was my experience,
you know, my last year there's
00:56:29.520 --> 00:56:33.570
teams find very unique ways to
tamper, you know, and it's, uh,
00:56:33.581 --> 00:56:34.421
Jethro: gonna say, I bet that is
00:56:34.740 --> 00:56:39.900
Connor Pay: um, I, I got my, but my
junior year, after my sophomore year
00:56:39.930 --> 00:56:43.560
when NIL was first became a thing, and
after my junior year headed into my
00:56:43.560 --> 00:56:48.900
senior year, I got multiple offers from
other schools to transfer for a lot
00:56:48.900 --> 00:56:50.850
more money than I was making at BYU.
00:56:51.180 --> 00:56:54.510
And the way they did it was
through my brother and my dad.
00:56:54.596 --> 00:56:54.886
Jethro: Yeah.
00:56:55.080 --> 00:56:57.690
Connor Pay: So, like, you know, my
brother would go on a recruiting visit
00:56:57.900 --> 00:57:00.840
somewhere, and then they'd ask, oh,
how's your, how's your older son doing?
00:57:00.900 --> 00:57:02.250
Is he happy at BYU?
00:57:02.630 --> 00:57:04.650
You know, asking questions like that.
00:57:04.650 --> 00:57:05.550
And it's like, oh, interesting.
00:57:05.550 --> 00:57:08.880
It's like, Hey, we have a certain amount
of money for him if he's interested.
00:57:09.176 --> 00:57:09.596
Jethro: Yeah.
00:57:09.780 --> 00:57:12.810
Connor Pay: And you, I hear some
of those numbers and I'm like, oh,
00:57:13.500 --> 00:57:15.090
like that's a, that's a big deal.
00:57:15.261 --> 00:57:15.681
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
00:57:15.960 --> 00:57:20.520
Connor Pay: but for me, finishing
what I started and my commitment
00:57:20.520 --> 00:57:22.170
to Kalani and the program.
00:57:22.680 --> 00:57:25.770
Outweighed those dollar
amounts for me at least.
00:57:25.770 --> 00:57:29.460
And, and don't get me wrong, my
senior year I was well taken care of.
00:57:29.970 --> 00:57:34.530
Like, it'll, it'll probably be a while
as a coach before I, I get to the
00:57:34.530 --> 00:57:36.420
amount of money that I made as a senior.
00:57:36.840 --> 00:57:41.670
It's not, uh, it's not anywhere near
now that full Rev shares kicked in
00:57:42.000 --> 00:57:44.460
what these guys are making, uh, now.
00:57:44.460 --> 00:57:47.790
And so I love to make fun of 'em
now, you know, and Coach, coach
00:57:47.790 --> 00:57:49.170
Woods loves to make fun of me too.
00:57:49.170 --> 00:57:50.790
Like, oh, if you had one more year,
00:57:50.816 --> 00:57:51.146
Jethro: Yeah,
00:57:51.270 --> 00:57:53.220
Connor Pay: you know, and full
rev share kicked in, you could
00:57:53.220 --> 00:57:54.150
have made a lot more money.
00:57:54.210 --> 00:57:57.960
But I, I got really blessed, kind of
going back to the original question
00:57:57.960 --> 00:57:59.340
about how I managed all that.
00:58:00.570 --> 00:58:03.660
I was really blessed to
have some great mentors.
00:58:04.410 --> 00:58:05.010
Um.
00:58:05.445 --> 00:58:09.165
And one of 'em, when I first
got to B-Y-U-B-Y u's, they, the
00:58:09.165 --> 00:58:12.225
athletic department has an alumni
program where you can come and
00:58:12.225 --> 00:58:14.235
be a mentor for current athletes.
00:58:14.235 --> 00:58:18.795
And I met Markel Sta, I don't
know if that name rings a bell.
00:58:18.910 --> 00:58:23.025
He, he played outside backer in
the early to mid two thousands.
00:58:23.625 --> 00:58:27.825
Um, played for the Eagles for a
short time, but he was the CEO of a
00:58:27.855 --> 00:58:30.105
financial firm called Roven Capital.
00:58:30.885 --> 00:58:35.475
Um, he got assigned to me as a mentor
and started teaching me about that world.
00:58:35.955 --> 00:58:41.745
Um, and so he helped me build a budget
and go through all these other things.
00:58:41.745 --> 00:58:45.855
He helped, he helped walk me
through investments and Roth IRAs
00:58:45.855 --> 00:58:50.355
and all this stuff and how much I
could maximize it, um, at my age.
00:58:50.775 --> 00:58:53.385
Uh, and he, he walked me through
all the math of like, look, if
00:58:53.385 --> 00:58:57.290
you can put just like a hundred,
$200 a month in to a Roth, IRA.
00:58:58.110 --> 00:59:02.400
At age 20 versus starting at age 25,
it's worth hundreds of thousands of
00:59:02.400 --> 00:59:06.720
dollars more in retirement, you know,
and I, I hadn't had anybody walk me
00:59:06.720 --> 00:59:12.480
through that, you know, and so I, I left
when I left BY or not when I left BYU.
00:59:12.750 --> 00:59:15.840
You know, guys are always thinking
like, oh, it's not enough.
00:59:15.960 --> 00:59:16.890
It's just scholarship.
00:59:16.890 --> 00:59:23.760
It's like Markel had me, I had $30,000
in investments when NIL first started
00:59:24.086 --> 00:59:24.621
Jethro: There you go.
00:59:24.870 --> 00:59:26.400
Connor Pay: just off my stipend,
00:59:26.431 --> 00:59:26.721
Jethro: Yeah.
00:59:27.510 --> 00:59:29.640
Connor Pay: just because I got
really lucky and I had someone
00:59:29.640 --> 00:59:31.500
who, who was willing to help me.
00:59:31.500 --> 00:59:34.170
And then I listened to 'em, you know,
I was disciplined with my money.
00:59:34.650 -->
00:59:38.550
And then when NIL became a thing, I was
able to do even more and all this stuff.
00:59:38.550 --> 00:59:41.610
So I was able to be kind of set
up financially because of him.
00:59:42.210 --> 00:59:47.940
And then through another mentorship,
um, event, I, I met Mike, uh,
00:59:47.970 --> 00:59:52.380
Mike Beck and Marcus Beck, who
run Halifax Advisors, a CPA firm.
00:59:53.370 --> 00:59:57.690
Um, and, you know, all NIL money is 10 99.
00:59:58.410 --> 01:00:02.160
And, you know, teaching the teaching
guys the difference between 10 99 and W2
01:00:02.610 --> 01:00:08.610
and you know, and how important it is to
have an entity set up and an S corp and
01:00:08.610 --> 01:00:11.070
those things for just the tax benefits.
01:00:11.430 --> 01:00:14.040
It's like they opened my
eyes to that entire world.
01:00:14.400 --> 01:00:17.700
And so now I've sent probably
20 or 30 players to them
01:00:17.741 --> 01:00:18.031
Jethro: Yeah.
01:00:18.300 --> 01:00:20.490
Connor Pay: just saying like, Hey,
these are the guys who helped me.
01:00:20.711 --> 01:00:21.001
Jethro: Yeah.
01:00:21.150 --> 01:00:23.580
Connor Pay: You know, and, and
that's how I managed it all.
01:00:23.580 --> 01:00:27.270
I, I had to go to people who were
smarter than me, you know, because you
01:00:27.270 --> 01:00:29.310
can't be expert in every single field.
01:00:29.520 --> 01:00:31.860
You know, it's not possible
for a human being to do that.
01:00:31.860 --> 01:00:36.510
And so I rely on people who are smarter
than me in those areas and they, they
01:00:36.510 --> 01:00:38.370
were able to help set me up financially.
01:00:38.370 --> 01:00:41.130
And, uh, my wife Mallory is a CPA.
01:00:41.130 --> 01:00:45.090
She was working at PWC before we
got married, and then she was gonna
01:00:45.090 --> 01:00:46.800
transfer up to their Salt Lake office.
01:00:46.800 --> 01:00:48.960
And, and Mike and Marcus
said, Hey, can we, uh.
01:00:49.325 --> 01:00:50.520
Can we take a shot at her?
01:00:50.520 --> 01:00:51.390
And I said, I don't know.
01:00:51.390 --> 01:00:53.070
She loves the big four.
01:00:53.096 --> 01:00:53.546
Jethro: Yeah.
01:00:53.610 --> 01:00:55.020
Connor Pay: what she's
always wanted to do.
01:00:55.020 --> 01:00:57.030
But they made her an
offer she couldn't refuse.
01:00:57.030 --> 01:00:58.260
And now she works there,
01:00:58.616 --> 01:00:59.156
Jethro: Awesome.
01:00:59.310 --> 01:01:01.200
Connor Pay: And so it's pretty amazing.
01:01:01.200 --> 01:01:04.050
And getting to learn about these
whole new financial worlds.
01:01:04.080 --> 01:01:06.000
'cause that's what
players now need to hear,
01:01:06.146 --> 01:01:06.566
Jethro: Yeah.
01:01:06.630 --> 01:01:09.420
Connor Pay: because we have these 18
year olds coming into college and making
01:01:09.420 --> 01:01:13.890
astronomical amounts of money that most of
'em have never had in their entire life.
01:01:14.160 --> 01:01:16.590
And they're blowing it
and they're being stupid.
01:01:16.980 --> 01:01:21.060
And most of them didn't realize that if
you're 10 99, you're taxed at the end
01:01:21.060 --> 01:01:22.950
of the year, not the beginning of it.
01:01:23.430 --> 01:01:25.200
And you have to save for your taxes.
01:01:25.200 --> 01:01:27.660
And so I've seen players
get screwed in that arena.
01:01:28.530 --> 01:01:32.820
And so that's one of the things as, as
a staff member now I'm trying to do, is
01:01:32.820 --> 01:01:35.640
like, whenever I'm having conversations
about the guys, I'm like, Hey, are you,
01:01:35.760 --> 01:01:37.350
are you keeping up on your finances?
01:01:37.350 --> 01:01:38.490
Are you for Juan?
01:01:38.490 --> 01:01:39.390
Are you investing?
01:01:40.200 --> 01:01:43.830
'cause I, I tell 'em, I'm straight up
with him like, look dude, if you don't
01:01:43.830 --> 01:01:46.890
play in the NFL, there's a good chance
you'll never make this much money in a
01:01:46.890 --> 01:01:48.930
year ever again for the rest of your life.
01:01:49.890 --> 01:01:53.400
And so it's like, if you could, if you
could live within your means, which
01:01:53.400 --> 01:01:57.210
should be easy with the amount of money
they're making, and their whole life
01:01:57.210 --> 01:02:01.350
is basically paid for, it's like you
should, you should have a, a retirement
01:02:01.350 --> 01:02:04.680
account that is locked and loaded by
the time you're done at BYU that you
01:02:04.680 --> 01:02:06.540
could never contribute to it again,
01:02:06.866 --> 01:02:07.346
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
01:02:07.500 --> 01:02:09.690
Connor Pay: still set for
your entire retirement.
01:02:09.896 --> 01:02:10.376
Jethro: Yeah.
01:02:10.470 --> 01:02:12.570
Connor Pay: like, but a
lot of times they're young.
01:02:12.570 --> 01:02:13.680
They don't think that way,
01:02:14.096 --> 01:02:14.426
Jethro: definitely
01:02:14.430 --> 01:02:14.700
Connor Pay: know?
01:02:14.700 --> 01:02:18.030
And so that's, at least that's, that's
what I've been trying to do because
01:02:18.030 --> 01:02:22.110
I had, I had people who were great
and helped me, so now I'm trying
01:02:22.110 --> 01:02:24.600
to just, uh, do the same for them
01:02:24.836 --> 01:02:27.656
Jethro: And, and now
you're an old man who's a
01:02:27.685 --> 01:02:28.170
Connor Pay: I, right.
01:02:28.230 --> 01:02:30.180
The ripe age of 26, you know?
01:02:30.206 --> 01:02:30.536
Jethro: man.
01:02:30.746 --> 01:02:34.346
You're not, you're not, you're not
a, uh, a young buck, even though
01:02:34.346 --> 01:02:36.266
you may still feel that young.
01:02:36.716 --> 01:02:39.086
Um, uh, so, so that's good.
01:02:39.086 --> 01:02:39.326
All right.
01:02:39.326 --> 01:02:41.846
Let's move on to another
relationship, which
01:02:42.030 --> 01:02:42.450
Connor Pay: Mm-hmm.
01:02:42.866 --> 01:02:43.556
Jethro: with Mallory.
01:02:43.980 --> 01:02:44.430
Connor Pay: Sure.
01:02:44.606 --> 01:02:48.296
Jethro: uh, when we talked last
year, I think that you hinted that
01:02:48.296 --> 01:02:53.006
there might be something happening,
but you were not committed yet.
01:02:53.096 --> 01:02:55.916
And so, uh, talk to me about the,
01:02:56.040 --> 01:02:59.220
Connor Pay: Not to the point of,
not to the point of, uh, being
01:02:59.220 --> 01:03:00.570
like, yep, this is the one.
01:03:00.570 --> 01:03:04.350
I mean, when we did this last time, was
it in February when we did, or January
01:03:04.436 --> 01:03:06.206
Jethro: I, think it was, uh, February.
01:03:07.290 --> 01:03:07.470
Connor Pay: then?
01:03:07.470 --> 01:03:07.620
Yeah.
01:03:07.620 --> 01:03:11.310
We had only been dating for three
months at the time, and so yeah.
01:03:11.310 --> 01:03:14.880
Was not in a place to make any
definitive statements at that point.
01:03:14.880 --> 01:03:21.090
But yeah, I met Mallory, um, at the
Marriott School of Business here at BYU.
01:03:21.090 --> 01:03:22.950
She was in the Masters
of Accounting program.
01:03:23.220 --> 01:03:24.900
We actually didn't know
each other from school.
01:03:24.900 --> 01:03:26.460
She dmd me on Instagram.
01:03:27.240 --> 01:03:32.130
Um, and I, I normally don't really respond
to those, but I happen to see hers.
01:03:32.130 --> 01:03:35.250
And, uh, I was like,
dang, this girl's hot.
01:03:35.550 --> 01:03:36.390
And uh.
01:03:36.506 --> 01:03:36.866
Jethro: helps.
01:03:37.470 --> 01:03:43.620
Connor Pay: Yeah, so, um, went out with
her and, uh, it was just awesome right
01:03:43.620 --> 01:03:47.100
from the jump, I think I, I think I
knew, I think I was in denial a little
01:03:47.100 --> 01:03:51.450
bit at first, but I think I knew pretty
early on that I could, when it, when
01:03:51.450 --> 01:03:55.860
it became real to me, it was when it
was like I could legitimately spend
01:03:55.860 --> 01:04:01.050
every second of my life, the rest of my
life with this girl and I'd be happy.
01:04:02.130 --> 01:04:04.650
And so I was like, okay,
this is probably serious.
01:04:04.826 --> 01:04:05.246
Jethro: Yeah.
01:04:05.520 --> 01:04:07.830
Connor Pay: But then I left, you
know, then I went to Georgia for
01:04:07.830 --> 01:04:12.120
three months, you know, and then I
came back and was there for a few
01:04:12.120 --> 01:04:14.910
weeks, went to the Seahawks, came
back, was home for a couple weeks,
01:04:14.910 --> 01:04:17.970
went to the Raiders for a few weeks,
and so it was like so much traveling.
01:04:18.330 --> 01:04:22.080
Then I get cut from the Raiders, come
back in July, and she moves to Houston.
01:04:22.260 --> 01:04:26.580
You know, I move her down to Houston
for her job that was set up long before
01:04:26.580 --> 01:04:27.930
I was ever in the picture, you know?
01:04:27.930 --> 01:04:29.220
So I wasn't gonna mess with that.
01:04:29.220 --> 01:04:31.920
And so we spent a lot of
our relationship apart.
01:04:32.086 --> 01:04:32.436
Jethro: Uhhuh.
01:04:33.690 --> 01:04:34.140
Connor Pay: but.
01:04:34.980 --> 01:04:38.310
Then it ended up working out where
after she moved to Houston, I flew
01:04:38.310 --> 01:04:42.840
back down a couple weeks later and,
uh, proposed to her and then we
01:04:42.840 --> 01:04:46.950
were able to get married here in
February and it's just been awesome.
01:04:46.950 --> 01:04:48.780
Married life's a lot
better than single life.
01:04:49.631 --> 01:04:50.651
Jethro: Ain't that the truth?
01:04:52.061 --> 01:04:53.171
Ain't that the truth?
01:04:53.501 --> 01:04:57.911
So you, you talked about
concepts before, so what.
01:04:59.456 --> 01:05:02.126
And this is going to be a fun
question because we're gonna come
01:05:02.126 --> 01:05:06.206
back to this about what are you doing
to make your marriage great, uh,
01:05:06.305 --> 01:05:06.385
Connor Pay: Hmm.
01:05:06.506 --> 01:05:07.856
Jethro: over the next several years?
01:05:07.856 --> 01:05:12.746
Because it's gonna change, especially when
you have kids and move closer or farther
01:05:12.746 --> 01:05:14.306
away from in-laws and things like that.
01:05:14.306 --> 01:05:15.446
All those dynamics
01:05:15.935 --> 01:05:16.225
Connor Pay: Yeah.
01:05:16.556 --> 01:05:18.326
Jethro: Job stress and
all that kind of stuff.
01:05:18.326 --> 01:05:23.246
So, so what are some of the concepts
that you are using in this very much
01:05:23.246 --> 01:05:25.316
honeymoon period of the first two months?
01:05:25.796 --> 01:05:27.656
What are some of the,
the concepts that you're
01:05:27.695 --> 01:05:27.815
Connor Pay: Hmm.
01:05:28.106 --> 01:05:33.356
Jethro: on to, to make it a, a
great marriage and not just a, a
01:05:33.356 --> 01:05:36.836
partnership or a, you know, we're
good friends and now we're married.
01:05:37.155 --> 01:05:38.445
Connor Pay: Yeah, not roommates.
01:05:38.576 --> 01:05:39.026
Jethro: Yeah.
01:05:39.135 --> 01:05:44.175
Connor Pay: Uh, you know, I, I, I'm
not perfect at it and I'm not gonna sit
01:05:44.175 --> 01:05:48.075
here and pretend like I know anything
about what makes a successful marriage.
01:05:48.075 --> 01:05:49.905
'cause you know, we're only two months in.
01:05:49.905 --> 01:05:51.045
We're trying to figure it out.
01:05:51.075 --> 01:05:52.875
I'm sure we're gonna
learn a lot along the way.
01:05:53.895 --> 01:05:58.245
Um, but I, at least I think for me,
as a general principle is I always
01:05:58.245 --> 01:06:00.045
try to put her needs above mine.
01:06:01.065 --> 01:06:07.485
Um, and she reciprocates that, uh,
which is really nice to, to have someone
01:06:08.025 --> 01:06:11.895
that you're attached at the hip with
who you know, is probably the only
01:06:11.895 --> 01:06:17.385
person on earth who cares more about
you than they do themselves, you know,
01:06:17.385 --> 01:06:18.825
outside of your parents probably.
01:06:19.155 --> 01:06:23.415
Um, and it's like, that's a
pretty unique relationship.
01:06:23.415 --> 01:06:27.165
And so I, and, and I, I,
you know, I know
that, uh.
01:06:27.930 --> 01:06:31.950
The, the big fad right now is trying to
break down traditional gender roles and,
01:06:32.610 --> 01:06:35.010
uh, but I believe in them pretty strongly.
01:06:35.010 --> 01:06:39.870
And so, uh, I, I want to be able
to protect her and provide for her,
01:06:39.896 --> 01:06:40.186
Jethro: Yeah.
01:06:40.380 --> 01:06:44.790
Connor Pay: you know, and, um,
and, you know, uh, with right now
01:06:44.820 --> 01:06:47.790
getting into the college football
coaching world's not a ton of money.
01:06:48.600 --> 01:06:52.830
I'm starting, uh, businesses,
like this is the startup phase.
01:06:52.830 --> 01:06:54.150
There's not a lot of money in it yet.
01:06:54.150 --> 01:06:57.750
Like, she's my sugar mama right
now with her cushy accounting job.
01:06:58.560 --> 01:07:03.060
Um, but you know, it's like,
I, I feel like that's my role.
01:07:03.060 --> 01:07:05.730
I need, I need to protect her
and I need to take care of her.
01:07:06.330 --> 01:07:10.770
Um, and you know,
thankfully she likes that.
01:07:11.006 --> 01:07:11.516
Jethro: Yeah.
01:07:11.520 --> 01:07:15.300
Connor Pay: uh, uh, you know,
so I think for us, I think
01:07:15.300 --> 01:07:16.710
service has been a big deal.
01:07:17.370 --> 01:07:20.940
Even if it's something as stupid as
I know her water's getting low before
01:07:20.940 --> 01:07:23.730
we go to bed and she's gonna want
to refill it before we go to sleep.
01:07:23.730 --> 01:07:26.520
I'll just grab it, take it
downstairs, fill it back up for her.
01:07:26.580 --> 01:07:28.650
Like, just, just simple things like that.
01:07:28.650 --> 01:07:30.360
Even whether she notices or not.
01:07:30.360 --> 01:07:35.910
It's like, I think those are,
those are things that, um, you
01:07:35.910 --> 01:07:40.260
know, really, really strengthen
a relationship in, in my opinion.
01:07:40.260 --> 01:07:44.130
It's not, it's not a
series of huge moments.
01:07:44.130 --> 01:07:47.430
I think it's, I think it's hundreds
of thousands of little moments,
01:07:48.150 --> 01:07:50.880
um, that, that make it stronger.
01:07:50.880 --> 01:07:55.770
And, and, you know, the always there's
the grand gestures, uh, but the things
01:07:55.770 --> 01:07:58.770
that have meant the most to me and I
hope have meant the most to her is,
01:07:58.770 --> 01:08:00.330
you know, the little day-to-day things.
01:08:00.330 --> 01:08:03.420
Like, oh, she remembered this,
that I like this, or wanted
01:08:03.420 --> 01:08:04.650
this, or something like that.
01:08:04.650 --> 01:08:09.390
And, um, oh, I, I, I,
I cooked, uh, tonight.
01:08:09.390 --> 01:08:15.210
So she, without hesitation, she's on
the dishes, you know, and vice versa.
01:08:15.735 --> 01:08:17.175
You know, that's kind
of what we worked out.
01:08:17.175 --> 01:08:21.135
Whoever cooks the other one does the,
the dishes, you know, and it's just like
01:08:21.135 --> 01:08:25.125
little things like that where it's like,
you know, it's, that's when it really
01:08:25.125 --> 01:08:27.375
starts to feel like a true partnership.
01:08:28.215 --> 01:08:31.725
Um, at least for me, and again, I'm saying
this on two months experience, but you
01:08:31.725 --> 01:08:36.615
know, like that's, you'd know a lot more
about this than me, but, uh, at least
01:08:36.615 --> 01:08:41.655
initially, that's what I felt like has,
has made things, you know, stronger.
01:08:41.865 --> 01:08:48.495
And, you know, I think, uh, you know,
I, I, I just, I, I like to read and do
01:08:48.495 --> 01:08:52.725
research on things and stuff, and so I,
I do think a big part of it is too, is
01:08:52.725 --> 01:08:57.495
like in something I've had to improve
on is like really feeling intimately
01:08:57.495 --> 01:09:02.745
connected to someone for the man is
a lot of times the physical intimacy.
01:09:03.225 --> 01:09:05.475
That part is, means a lot for us.
01:09:05.505 --> 01:09:09.495
But for, for women it's, it's emotional.
01:09:09.990 --> 01:09:12.240
It's, it's, you know, it's verbal.
01:09:12.240 --> 01:09:13.260
It's, it's a connection.
01:09:13.260 --> 01:09:16.710
It's having conversation
like that's, that's how they
01:09:16.710 --> 01:09:18.240
feel truly connected to us.
01:09:18.240 --> 01:09:22.000
And that's one area where I've had
to improve is, you know, like I, I,
01:09:22.000 --> 01:09:26.520
I know like sitting down and having
a conversation about our days helps
01:09:26.520 --> 01:09:31.110
her feel really connected to me
and, and sharing my life with her.
01:09:31.110 --> 01:09:33.300
Not just saying, Hmm, my day was good,
01:09:33.551 --> 01:09:33.941
Jethro: Yeah.
01:09:34.091 --> 01:09:34.181
I
01:09:34.230 --> 01:09:34.860
Connor Pay: and that's it.
01:09:35.201 --> 01:09:35.561
Jethro: yeah.
01:09:36.090 --> 01:09:37.440
Connor Pay: Which I still do sometimes.
01:09:37.440 --> 01:09:38.940
She, she'll be the first
one to tell you that.
01:09:38.940 --> 01:09:42.540
I still do that a lot, you know, I'm
trying, I'm trying to get better at
01:09:42.540 --> 01:09:45.270
it, but it's just like little things
like that as we learn more about each
01:09:45.270 --> 01:09:49.620
other and it's like, oh, you know what,
like that, that conversation that seems
01:09:49.620 --> 01:09:56.100
stupid in my mind, um, you know, is like
really means a matters a lot to her.
01:09:56.146 --> 01:09:56.566
Jethro: Mm-hmm.
01:09:57.000 --> 01:09:59.070
Connor Pay: And, and just
little things like that.
01:09:59.070 --> 01:10:02.190
I feel like I'm learning more and
more every day about how I could be,
01:10:02.910 --> 01:10:04.530
you know, a better husband for her.
01:10:04.590 --> 01:10:07.350
And so, I don't know, that's first
things that popped into my head.
01:10:07.736 --> 01:10:09.596
Jethro: Yeah, I mean, that's true for me.
01:10:09.686 --> 01:10:14.426
We, my wife and I have been married
21 years and I, still feel like
01:10:14.426 --> 01:10:18.506
I'm learning every day how I
can be the best husband for her.
01:10:18.506 --> 01:10:22.196
And, and it's not, uh, it's not
like there's a perfect answer or
01:10:22.256 --> 01:10:24.176
like this is exactly how you do it.
01:10:24.176 --> 01:10:27.566
But it goes back to what you were saying,
that it's about these concepts, you
01:10:27.685 --> 01:10:27.975
Connor Pay: Yeah.
01:10:28.646 --> 01:10:31.316
Jethro: listening, uh, little
moments here and there.
01:10:31.676 --> 01:10:35.321
And in the beginning the real benefit
is that you can see really quickly.
01:10:36.551 --> 01:10:42.371
What is working well and what's not,
because you, you communicate about
01:10:42.371 --> 01:10:44.471
that stuff a lot more over time.
01:10:44.801 --> 01:10:47.891
You just kind of recognize
that's how this person is.
01:10:47.891 --> 01:10:52.631
And so you don't spend the time
talking about, well, here's this
01:10:52.631 --> 01:10:54.101
new thing that neither of us have
01:10:54.185 --> 01:10:54.405
Connor Pay: Hmm.
01:10:54.641 --> 01:10:55.241
Jethro: together.
01:10:55.451 --> 01:10:56.651
How do we deal with this?
01:10:56.981 --> 01:10:59.771
You've experienced a lot of
things together, so you stop
01:10:59.771 --> 01:11:01.361
asking about those things.
01:11:01.361 --> 01:11:05.201
You stop being curious about how the
other person wants this to work out.
01:11:05.201 --> 01:11:05.621
And,
01:11:05.625 --> 01:11:05.705
Connor Pay: Hmm.
01:11:06.041 --> 01:11:08.921
Jethro: and that's a, that's an
interesting thing as, as time goes
01:11:08.921 --> 01:11:15.011
on, um, and you know, it's, it's
interesting because nobody ever
01:11:15.011 --> 01:11:17.981
goes into a marriage planning on
getting divorced, but like half of
01:11:17.981 --> 01:11:19.691
marriages end in divorce in the United
01:11:19.695 --> 01:11:19.995
Connor Pay: Yeah.
01:11:20.385 --> 01:11:20.745
Yeah.
01:11:21.491 --> 01:11:25.511
Jethro: it has to be an intentional
thing and, and you have to work at it.
01:11:25.511 --> 01:11:27.101
And it's not, it's not
01:11:27.225 --> 01:11:27.405
Connor Pay: Hmm.
01:11:27.491 --> 01:11:28.056
Jethro: for you to just.
01:11:28.946 --> 01:11:30.536
Uh, be roommates.
01:11:30.596 --> 01:11:34.136
You like, you both have to put forth
the work and you gotta figure out what
01:11:34.136 --> 01:11:38.426
that looks like in your particular
marriage for your relationship.
01:11:38.426 --> 01:11:40.676
That's different than anybody else's.
01:11:41.265 --> 01:11:43.545
Connor Pay: Yeah, no, I,
I, I couldn't agree more.
01:11:43.545 --> 01:11:47.385
And that's, that's what I'm
hoping to try to do, you know,
01:11:47.385 --> 01:11:49.305
is just to be being willing.
01:11:49.395 --> 01:11:52.725
I don't, I don't have all the
answers, like being willing to keep
01:11:52.725 --> 01:11:58.905
learning and also giving myself
and her grace when things don't go
01:11:58.905 --> 01:12:02.355
perfectly because we're experiencing
all this for the first time together.
01:12:02.601 --> 01:12:02.821
Jethro: Yep.
01:12:03.315 --> 01:12:07.605
Connor Pay: Um, where it's like, look,
I, there are certain things that irritate
01:12:07.605 --> 01:12:12.555
me and then I'll, I get frustrated and
have a short fuse and same thing for her.
01:12:13.095 --> 01:12:16.065
And it's like, look like those are
part, those are still parts of us
01:12:16.065 --> 01:12:18.045
that we're learning about each other.
01:12:18.495 --> 01:12:22.935
And so trying, trying to have an
attitude of grace towards those things.
01:12:22.935 --> 01:12:26.655
And um, you know, I think
that's been super helpful too,
01:12:26.655 --> 01:12:28.215
and need to continue that.
01:12:28.316 --> 01:12:31.526
Jethro: Yeah, one of my good
friends calls that Blind Trust,
01:12:32.175 --> 01:12:32.385
Connor Pay: Hmm.
01:12:32.486 --> 01:12:35.486
Jethro: says that you have blind trust
that they're not intentionally being a
01:12:35.486 --> 01:12:40.676
jerk, that they're, they're doing the best
they can and, and have good intentions.
01:12:41.636 --> 01:12:44.336
And if you're frustrated, it's not
because they're trying to frustrate
01:12:44.336 --> 01:12:48.626
you, it's because you blindly trust that
they have your best interest at heart.
01:12:48.656 --> 01:12:54.476
And, and that framing for me really
helped me be like, okay, when, there's
01:12:54.476 --> 01:13:00.566
frustration, like don't have to get as
bent outta shape because she's probably
01:13:00.566 --> 01:13:02.276
not doing this just to piss me off.
01:13:02.985 --> 01:13:03.345
Connor Pay: Yeah.
01:13:03.446 --> 01:13:05.126
Jethro: sometimes that does happen,
01:13:05.835 --> 01:13:07.845
Connor Pay: I feel like that's
later into the marriage.
01:13:07.875 --> 01:13:11.865
You know, like when we get, when we get
21 years, like you, I'm sure there's
01:13:11.865 --> 01:13:15.045
plenty of things Mallory's gonna do just
to get my goat, you know what I mean?
01:13:15.135 --> 01:13:15.225
But
01:13:16.406 --> 01:13:18.296
Jethro: The good thing is you
make sure nobody knows you got a
01:13:18.386 --> 01:13:19.826
goat tied up behind your house.
01:13:20.200 --> 01:13:20.985
Connor Pay: there we go.
01:13:21.176 --> 01:13:22.466
Jethro: that goat doesn't exist.
01:13:22.496 --> 01:13:22.946
Um,
01:13:22.995 --> 01:13:23.415
Connor Pay: Right?
01:13:23.996 --> 01:13:24.566
Jethro: okay.
01:13:24.686 --> 01:13:29.786
Uh, so this, this has been a great
conversation, as with last year, I didn't
01:13:29.786 --> 01:13:33.116
really ask any of things that I planned
on beforehand, but I really enjoyed it.
01:13:33.116 --> 01:13:38.936
So the, the, the last question I want
to ask is, how have you seen the Lord's
01:13:38.936 --> 01:13:42.236
hand guiding you over this last year?
01:13:42.536 --> 01:13:45.746
Uh, you can include miracles that
you've seen or anything else.
01:13:45.746 --> 01:13:48.896
We've talked
about a lot of stuff,
so it could come back to that.
01:13:48.896 --> 01:13:51.686
And you feel free to reference
that, but how have you
01:13:51.765 --> 01:13:53.325
Connor Pay: Oh, it's,
it's a great question.
01:13:54.735 --> 01:13:59.475
You know, I've tried, I've tried to be
better about recognizing that stuff.
01:14:00.870 --> 01:14:06.000
Uh, and um, so I start, I
just started this thing.
01:14:06.120 --> 01:14:09.480
Uh, 'cause I hate typing, I hate
writing or journaling of any kind.
01:14:09.750 --> 01:14:10.890
That's why I like this.
01:14:10.950 --> 01:14:13.980
It's my annual diary and I just
get a talk, which I love doing.
01:14:14.460 --> 01:14:16.680
Um, I don't have to write anything.
01:14:17.040 --> 01:14:22.560
And I started, I just started a, I call it
a Lord's hand, a journal in my voice memos
01:14:22.586 --> 01:14:22.806
Jethro: Yep.
01:14:22.890 --> 01:14:26.730
Connor Pay: on my phone where it's
just for me, it's a lot easier for me
01:14:26.730 --> 01:14:31.470
to open my phone after something cool
happens and tell the story for two
01:14:31.470 --> 01:14:34.770
or three minutes than it is for me to
take a half an hour writing it down.
01:14:35.520 --> 01:14:37.200
Um, that's just my preference.
01:14:37.230 --> 01:14:38.310
So I've started doing that.
01:14:39.000 --> 01:14:43.200
Um, and I, and so because of that,
it's been nice to be able to refer
01:14:43.200 --> 01:14:47.190
back to experiences I've had where I
felt like I've seen the Lord's hand.
01:14:47.190 --> 01:14:48.905
And there's a couple from
this year that come to mind.
01:14:49.950 --> 01:14:56.040
Um, with all this BYU pathway stuff,
I, I, I just didn't know that I was
01:14:56.040 --> 01:14:57.660
gonna end up being this involved.
01:14:57.660 --> 01:15:01.260
And when I, when Kalani first
proposed it to me and I started doing
01:15:01.260 --> 01:15:02.640
it, I was still a little bit torn.
01:15:02.640 --> 01:15:05.700
Like, am I giving up on the NFL too soon?
01:15:06.120 --> 01:15:09.180
You know, like, do I keep trying,
my agents want me to go play in
01:15:09.180 --> 01:15:11.520
the UFL to try to get another shot.
01:15:12.150 --> 01:15:17.070
Um, and it's just like, man, like dude
is, am I making the right decision here?
01:15:17.910 --> 01:15:23.100
And I, I go to the, uh, the B There was
a BYU Pathway documentary that released
01:15:23.100 --> 01:15:27.000
back in October of, uh, of last year.
01:15:27.810 --> 01:15:32.820
Um, and it played in between the
sessions of general conference.
01:15:32.850 --> 01:15:34.770
I don't know if you had a
chance to see it or anything.
01:15:34.770 --> 01:15:37.980
They, they followed a few, a
few families who are doing the
01:15:37.980 --> 01:15:39.840
BIU Pathway program in Africa.
01:15:40.530 --> 01:15:45.090
Um, and, uh, just because of my
affiliation with Pathway, I've gotten
01:15:45.090 --> 01:15:46.860
to know President Ashton pretty good.
01:15:47.430 --> 01:15:48.930
Who's the president of Pathway?
01:15:49.110 --> 01:15:51.180
Uh, so Isaiah and I got invited.
01:15:51.840 --> 01:15:58.320
Um, and so we're there, uh, and we, we
got to see a preview of the documentary
01:15:58.320 --> 01:16:01.410
and then there was a panel with some
of the people who were interviewed.
01:16:01.710 --> 01:16:06.570
They, they flow flew them in from
Africa to come and do this panel
01:16:06.690 --> 01:16:07.950
and be a part of the premier.
01:16:07.950 --> 01:16:10.380
And it was done in the BYU
performing arts center and
01:16:10.380 --> 01:16:12.270
their huge new auditorium stuff.
01:16:12.270 --> 01:16:12.810
It was cool.
01:16:13.620 --> 01:16:17.730
Um, and then at the end, after
the panel, elder Clark Gilbert
01:16:17.790 --> 01:16:22.530
got up, um, and this is back when
he was still General Authority.
01:16:22.740 --> 01:16:26.880
Um, he wasn't an apostle yet, but
he was pr, he was the head of the
01:16:26.880 --> 01:16:31.620
church education system and so he
oversaw Pathway and he was talking
01:16:31.620 --> 01:16:33.450
about the BYU Pathway program.
01:16:33.450 --> 01:16:38.280
And initially it was, it was an
assignment of his and Kim b Clark's.
01:16:38.595 --> 01:16:40.125
When he was a general authority.
01:16:40.125 --> 01:16:43.275
And, uh, elder Clark is a, is a great guy.
01:16:43.275 --> 01:16:45.585
He, uh, had been on
chasing Mike's podcast.
01:16:45.585 --> 01:16:46.665
He's, he's awesome.
01:16:46.845 --> 01:16:51.465
Um, and he told a story about how
they were trying to figure out how
01:16:51.465 --> 01:16:53.115
to make this pathway thing work.
01:16:53.205 --> 01:16:57.975
You know, like it was, it was at a
time when now it's like after COVID
01:16:57.975 --> 01:17:03.165
Online school is easy and super
standard, but before that it was, it
01:17:03.165 --> 01:17:06.945
was a pain and it was, it was rare
to have like some universities who
01:17:06.945 --> 01:17:09.795
had a lot of funding, like they were
able to get it down pretty good.
01:17:10.365 --> 01:17:14.055
Um, but again, that's, they were able
to do it well in America, you know,
01:17:14.055 --> 01:17:15.855
where everyone has access to technology.
01:17:15.885 --> 01:17:20.745
And so they were really running into some
issues, um, you know, trying to get it
01:17:20.745 --> 01:17:26.745
to work, uh, internationally, especially
in the countries that need it the most.
01:17:26.745 --> 01:17:30.225
Which consequently, consequently are
the countries that are the worst off.
01:17:30.735 --> 01:17:32.445
You know, they're the
ones who need it the most.
01:17:32.445 --> 01:17:36.315
And, and so Elder Gilbert says.
01:17:36.840 --> 01:17:39.300
You know, I was sitting in my
office one day in the church
01:17:39.300 --> 01:17:46.620
office building and they had been
working on it, um, for a long time.
01:17:46.740 --> 01:17:51.900
And he said, elder McKim b Clark
came and just burst into his office.
01:17:52.410 --> 01:17:58.350
Um, and he said, I know, I know
how we're gonna get this done.
01:17:59.460 --> 01:18:03.300
And Elder Gilbert was like, okay, sweet.
01:18:03.510 --> 01:18:04.410
Like how?
01:18:04.830 --> 01:18:11.310
And he goes, doctrine and covenants
88 73, which is very simple verse
01:18:11.310 --> 01:18:15.150
where it just says that the Lord
hastens his work in its time.
01:18:16.320 --> 01:18:20.850
And you know, his, his, I, I won't go
into the whole macro point 'cause it's
01:18:20.880 --> 01:18:24.630
not super relevant to the story, but
basically Elder Clark was saying like,
01:18:24.630 --> 01:18:29.070
the, the Lord Hastens is working its time
and it's this, it's time for BYU pathway.
01:18:29.730 --> 01:18:33.420
And so he's gonna essentially say he's
gonna provide a way for us to hasten it.
01:18:33.420 --> 01:18:36.630
And Elder Clark went on to talk about
some of the things that happened
01:18:36.630 --> 01:18:38.640
after that, that that did hasten it.
01:18:38.640 --> 01:18:44.370
But when he said DNC 88 73, it was like
a lightning bolt went through my spine.
01:18:45.030 --> 01:18:54.090
Um, because ever since I was a missionary,
um, the, before I even got to the mission
01:18:54.090 --> 01:18:59.670
field, just the standard password on the
phones in our mission was d and c 88 73,
01:18:59.836 --> 01:19:00.336
Jethro: Oh, really?
01:19:00.476 --> 01:19:00.896
That's
01:19:01.110 --> 01:19:02.340
Connor Pay: about, hey, sending the work.
01:19:02.340 --> 01:19:03.660
And I was like, okay.
01:19:04.230 --> 01:19:11.670
And that's been the password to my phone
ever since, for the last five plus years.
01:19:12.030 --> 01:19:13.260
Five to seven years now.
01:19:13.260 --> 01:19:16.320
And I've, I've tried to change it
back to some of my old passwords a
01:19:16.320 --> 01:19:19.590
few times, and it was, for some reason
there was always this feeling in my
01:19:19.590 --> 01:19:23.280
gut to, to keep it as 8, 8, 7, 3.
01:19:23.280 --> 01:19:25.410
So if any of you get my phone,
you can get into it now.
01:19:25.410 --> 01:19:26.400
Congratulations.
01:19:26.430 --> 01:19:26.730
But,
01:19:26.831 --> 01:19:27.251
Jethro: Uh oh.
01:19:27.330 --> 01:19:27.900
Connor Pay: uh,
01:19:28.031 --> 01:19:28.371
Jethro: to change
01:19:28.560 --> 01:19:32.640
Connor Pay: um, well, no, now I, now
I, I, I do different variations of D
01:19:32.640 --> 01:19:37.110
and c sometimes I include the words
in there now too and some other stuff.
01:19:37.110 --> 01:19:42.570
But anyways, uh, and so, but I
was never, for the last seven,
01:19:42.570 --> 01:19:46.380
eight years, I just couldn't shake
having that as my phone password.
01:19:47.370 --> 01:19:50.280
I just, for some reason, I knew
deep down it meant something.
01:19:51.450 --> 01:19:54.870
And then to be sitting in that
meeting and to have Elder Gilbert
01:19:54.870 --> 01:20:02.160
say that's, that's the verse that
sparked the, the rocket launch that
01:20:02.160 --> 01:20:04.830
was BYU pathway in the late 2010s.
01:20:05.430 --> 01:20:08.940
It's like, and you could say that's
a stupid coincidence, but for me and
01:20:08.940 --> 01:20:10.860
the way I felt sitting in that chair.
01:20:11.595 --> 01:20:17.385
Uh, after hearing that was like, that
was, that was a sign to me from God that
01:20:17.505 --> 01:20:22.095
this is, I'm, I'm supposed to be involved
in this, like that this is, I'm on the
01:20:22.095 --> 01:20:28.905
right track and you know, God, God was
sending me a sign that I didn't know was
01:20:29.385 --> 01:20:31.965
a sign for, you know, seven plus years.
01:20:32.126 --> 01:20:32.416
Jethro: Yeah.
01:20:32.475 --> 01:20:34.815
Connor Pay: They're like, Nope,
8, 8, 7 3 means something.
01:20:34.905 --> 01:20:38.595
And then I didn't know what it meant
until Elder Clark got up there and said,
01:20:39.105 --> 01:20:42.615
this is, this is how the Pathway program,
this is how we knew it was gonna be
01:20:42.615 --> 01:20:44.565
successful, was that scripture verse.
01:20:44.595 --> 01:20:45.405
And I was like, whoa.
01:20:45.881 --> 01:20:46.361
Jethro: Yeah.
01:20:46.365 --> 01:20:48.555
Connor Pay: know, pretty
amazing thing for me.
01:20:48.791 --> 01:20:53.681
Jethro: And Connor, on, on this point,
you, you tell that story to anybody
01:20:53.681 --> 01:20:55.271
and they're like, okay, that's cool.
01:20:55.571 --> 01:21:02.231
But you know, in your heart of hearts that
that means something for you personally.
01:21:02.685 --> 01:21:02.955
Connor Pay: yeah.
01:21:03.611 --> 01:21:10.331
Jethro: and that is that when it comes
down to it, God knows us and he talks
01:21:10.331 --> 01:21:12.971
to us, and that was him talking to you
01:21:13.420 --> 01:21:13.770
Connor Pay: Right.
01:21:13.901 --> 01:21:15.011
Jethro: very clear about it.
01:21:15.011 --> 01:21:20.171
And that is just so key because if we
can just learn how to listen to that,
01:21:20.831 --> 01:21:26.261
I think God talks to us a lot more
than any of us readily admit because
01:21:26.501 --> 01:21:30.071
those kinds of things do happen and
things stay on your mind and, and.
01:21:30.941 --> 01:21:33.641
we experienced so many things
throughout our life and then all of a
01:21:34.005 --> 01:21:34.335
Connor Pay: Yeah.
01:21:34.361 --> 01:21:36.191
Jethro: this one thing is the thing.
01:21:36.521 --> 01:21:37.961
Like there's something there.
01:21:37.961 --> 01:21:42.041
And, and I think God, uh, like
Elder Kieran's talk, that God
01:21:42.041 --> 01:21:44.741
is constantly seeking after us.
01:21:44.951 --> 01:21:45.071
I
01:21:45.255 --> 01:21:45.465
Connor Pay: Hmm.
01:21:45.611 --> 01:21:51.611
Jethro: so true, and, and that is just one
little tiny example that to anybody else
01:21:51.611 --> 01:21:55.976
really doesn't mean anything, but to you
pure testimony that God does speak to you.
01:21:55.976 --> 01:21:56.616
That's amazing.
01:21:57.360 --> 01:22:00.000
Connor Pay: Yeah, no, it was,
that's, that's how it was.
01:22:00.000 --> 01:22:01.470
That's the way he spoke to me.
01:22:01.680 --> 01:22:06.330
It's probably meaningless to almost
everybody else, but to me it meant a lot.
01:22:06.660 --> 01:22:12.330
Um, and if we have time, I had one more
story come to mind, if that's okay.
01:22:12.360 --> 01:22:15.540
Just So with the Lord's hand, it
actually has to do with where we
01:22:15.540 --> 01:22:17.220
live, the house we live in now.
01:22:17.316 --> 01:22:17.596
Jethro: I love it.
01:22:17.970 --> 01:22:23.160
Connor Pay: Um, when, when Mallory
and I set our wedding date and we
01:22:23.160 --> 01:22:28.020
knew we were getting married and in
February and in the new year, and, uh.
01:22:28.545 --> 01:22:33.555
Mallory put in her transfer and stuff
from PWC to their Salt Lake office.
01:22:33.765 --> 01:22:36.885
Uh, they were gonna have her start
in the new year, so we knew we had to
01:22:36.885 --> 01:22:39.075
have a place, you know, by January.
01:22:39.405 --> 01:22:40.845
So she had a place to live.
01:22:40.995 --> 01:22:43.065
And then once we got married,
I'd come and join her.
01:22:43.065 --> 01:22:47.955
I was staying at my parents in
Highland at the time, uh, and we went
01:22:47.955 --> 01:22:51.975
and saw a number of houses and town
homes and other things like that,
01:22:51.975 --> 01:22:53.295
trying to figure out where to live.
01:22:53.295 --> 01:22:58.245
And there was this, this house, this
town home in Linden, Utah, right
01:22:58.245 --> 01:23:01.185
off State Street, right behind the
Linden Nursery, the country store,
01:23:01.185 --> 01:23:02.685
right there by Pizza Factory.
01:23:02.685 --> 01:23:09.465
And, um, it was, Mallory's would
be working downtown in Salt Lake.
01:23:09.465 --> 01:23:13.215
And so this was, this was
significantly farther for her
01:23:13.335 --> 01:23:15.855
than some of the other places.
01:23:16.545 --> 01:23:19.635
Uh, and so that was like a major hurdle.
01:23:20.100 --> 01:23:22.440
And we didn't really wanna
do it because of that.
01:23:22.440 --> 01:23:26.220
We had had some that were closer to Lehigh
point of the mountain that was more split,
01:23:26.220 --> 01:23:30.660
50 50 if I was gonna be doing stuff in
Provo and she was gonna be downtown, make
01:23:30.660 --> 01:23:33.060
it a 30 minute-ish drive for each of us.
01:23:33.060 --> 01:23:37.470
You know, they were a lot more
reasonable and, and even cheaper too.
01:23:37.470 --> 01:23:38.700
They were nice places.
01:23:38.700 --> 01:23:43.650
And, um, every time she'd come
into town, we'd go and tour a few
01:23:43.650 --> 01:23:45.510
of 'em and just see what we liked.
01:23:45.510 --> 01:23:50.850
But we both still had this draw
to this townhouse in Linden.
01:23:51.390 --> 01:23:58.890
Um, and, you know, when you look
at it, it didn't make any sense,
01:23:59.250 --> 01:24:00.780
you know, it didn't seem feasible.
01:24:00.780 --> 01:24:05.100
She now, her drive was almost 50
minutes to an hour, you know, down
01:24:05.100 --> 01:24:06.900
to downtown, like, that's miserable.
01:24:07.470 --> 01:24:10.980
Um, and it's significantly
closer to Provost.
01:24:10.980 --> 01:24:14.250
So my drive is only like 20 minutes
and it's like, man, this isn't, this
01:24:14.250 --> 01:24:17.790
doesn't, logistically, this doesn't
seem to make much sense to live here.
01:24:18.071 --> 01:24:18.521
Jethro: Yeah.
01:24:18.705 --> 01:24:21.945
Connor Pay: But we just, we just
kept feeling like this was the place.
01:24:21.945 --> 01:24:28.725
And so contrary to our logic,
like we, we picked it and
01:24:28.725 --> 01:24:29.565
you were like, you know what?
01:24:29.565 --> 01:24:33.975
This is, this seems like this
is gonna be the best place, even
01:24:33.975 --> 01:24:36.885
with the downsides of some of the
travel and some things like that.
01:24:37.695 --> 01:24:45.165
Um, not two weeks after we picked this
place, my CPA firm reaches out to me
01:24:45.165 --> 01:24:51.255
with interest in Mallory and they're
like, Hey, um, we want to talk to her.
01:24:51.255 --> 01:24:52.005
We wanna interview her.
01:24:52.005 --> 01:24:54.375
And like I said before,
she loved the big four.
01:24:54.435 --> 01:24:55.875
That was her goal, her whole career.
01:24:55.875 --> 01:24:58.425
And so I was like, I'll see if
she'll do an interview with you
01:24:58.425 --> 01:25:02.625
guys, but I don't know if it's, if
it's, you know, really gone or, uh,
01:25:02.625 --> 01:25:04.245
it's really going to go anywhere.
01:25:04.755 --> 01:25:10.365
So they interview with her, they make
her an offer, she couldn't refuse, so she
01:25:10.365 --> 01:25:15.675
ends up accepting the job and their office
is in Highland, which ends up being, now
01:25:15.675 --> 01:25:17.400
our town home is exactly in the middle.
01:25:18.135 --> 01:25:20.295
Of our two jobs, like precisely,
01:25:20.466 --> 01:25:20.756
Jethro: Yeah.
01:25:21.075 --> 01:25:23.685
Connor Pay: we were, we're
both anywhere from 15 to 20
01:25:23.685 --> 01:25:25.215
minutes away from our offices.
01:25:25.256 --> 01:25:25.546
Jethro: Yeah,
01:25:26.265 --> 01:25:29.835
Connor Pay: And it's like, again, that
may seem like a stupid coincidence,
01:25:29.835 --> 01:25:33.945
but for us it was like, it was
completely counter to the logical
01:25:33.945 --> 01:25:36.075
decision for us to pick this town home.
01:25:36.315 --> 01:25:39.405
It was farther away and
it was more expensive, you
01:25:39.405 --> 01:25:40.875
know, than our other option.
01:25:41.595 --> 01:25:45.585
And, uh, we ended up taking it
and she gets this job and it's
01:25:45.585 --> 01:25:47.235
ended up being phenomenal for her.
01:25:47.235 --> 01:25:50.775
They, they've treated her so well
and she's really enjoyed the work.
01:25:50.775 --> 01:25:54.375
And that was just another thing that
was like, you know what, you
know,
01:25:54.375 --> 01:25:57.285
the, the Lord's got us and he was
nudging us in ways that we didn't
01:25:57.285 --> 01:25:59.295
even fully understand at the time.
01:25:59.295 --> 01:26:02.025
But I'm grateful that we
both had confidence enough
01:26:02.265 --> 01:26:04.545
in how we felt to listen.
01:26:05.235 --> 01:26:07.785
And it, it ended up working perfectly.
01:26:07.785 --> 01:26:08.775
We love this house.
01:26:08.775 --> 01:26:09.765
We love living here.
01:26:09.795 --> 01:26:10.695
Love the area.
01:26:10.755 --> 01:26:11.955
Phenomenal ward.
01:26:12.016 --> 01:26:12.236
Jethro: Yep.
01:26:12.255 --> 01:26:13.755
Connor Pay: It's everything
is coming together.
01:26:13.841 --> 01:26:14.261
Jethro: Yeah.
01:26:14.561 --> 01:26:15.161
That's amazing.
01:26:15.161 --> 01:26:16.481
I think that's a great story.
01:26:16.481 --> 01:26:18.791
And also, uh,
01:26:21.461 --> 01:26:24.161
the, here's another
thing that I'm thinking.
01:26:24.311 --> 01:26:27.491
This may or may not be true, but if
she can go work for one of the big
01:26:27.491 --> 01:26:32.381
four accounting firms, this CPA firm
that she's now working at, may have
01:26:32.381 --> 01:26:36.101
thought, there's no way we can get
her because she's on that pathway.
01:26:36.101 --> 01:26:39.041
And, and when you're going down
that pathway, then that is,
01:26:40.061 --> 01:26:41.231
that's what you're looking for.
01:26:41.291 --> 01:26:45.581
You know, like Kalani may have never
thought he could get you as a coach or
01:26:45.581 --> 01:26:50.501
as a business partner because you're
planning on going to the NFL, but, you
01:26:50.501 --> 01:26:52.386
know, things work out how they need to.
01:26:52.571 --> 01:26:57.221
And it, it sounds like even this
job opportunity is another one
01:26:57.221 --> 01:26:59.261
of those things that is, that
01:26:59.530 --> 01:26:59.750
Connor Pay: One.
01:26:59.850 --> 01:27:00.630
100%
01:27:00.671 --> 01:27:04.601
Jethro: a miracle that we just
didn't know we wanted, you know?
01:27:05.050 --> 01:27:05.670
Connor Pay: had no idea.
01:27:06.281 --> 01:27:08.771
Jethro: She, she was like,
I'm going for Big four, and
01:27:08.771 --> 01:27:10.721
I can, so I'm going for that.
01:27:10.961 --> 01:27:14.291
But this may be the best thing for her.
01:27:14.621 --> 01:27:14.981
Uh,
01:27:15.135 --> 01:27:15.495
Connor Pay: Right.
01:27:15.521 --> 01:27:20.951
Jethro: right now with your housing
situation, yes, we can, can say it is, but
01:27:21.120 --> 01:27:21.660
Connor Pay: Right.
01:27:21.791 --> 01:27:22.871
Jethro: things that go into it.
01:27:22.871 --> 01:27:23.321
So
01:27:23.820 --> 01:27:24.270
Connor Pay: No doubt.
01:27:24.671 --> 01:27:26.291
Jethro: Connor, this, this was awesome.
01:27:26.291 --> 01:27:32.111
I appreciate you and if you, uh, if you
ever want to just send those little hand
01:27:32.111 --> 01:27:36.101
of the Lord stories, we can just append
them to these recordings too, if you want.
01:27:36.245 --> 01:27:36.535
Connor Pay: Cool,
01:27:36.611 --> 01:27:37.181
Jethro: And,
01:27:37.230 --> 01:27:37.470
Connor Pay: Yeah,
01:27:37.571 --> 01:27:40.601
Jethro: that way we, you can, you
can have that as part of your you
01:27:40.961 --> 01:27:43.601
collection for later on, you know, and,
01:27:43.620 --> 01:27:43.950
Connor Pay: yeah,
01:27:44.111 --> 01:27:45.551
Jethro: and you can,
you can figure that out.
01:27:45.551 --> 01:27:46.301
Well, this was awesome.
01:27:46.301 --> 01:27:49.331
Thank you so much for, for doing
this and taking the time to chat.
01:27:49.571 --> 01:27:49.691
It's
01:27:49.905 --> 01:27:50.285
Connor Pay: of course.
01:27:50.585 --> 01:27:52.165
Thanks for doing this, Jeff Throw, man.
01:27:52.185 --> 01:27:52.765
You're awesome.