Turning Turmoil Into Transformation: täielik transkriptsioon

00:02:14.879 --> 00:02:18.639 How much suffering, sometimes, how much pain we have to go through. 00:02:18.719 --> 00:02:20.719 And and I know you have your story, Omar. 00:02:20.960 --> 00:02:32.159 I've been listening to you and your story, and I think everyone, you you tell something, you have a a saying that everyone has a story, and I believe they do, we we do, brother. 00:02:32.240 --> 00:02:38.080 Uh what what what people always focus on in a person is the XYZ. 00:02:38.800 --> 00:02:48.240 But if they hear someone's uh when I I discuss my my heartache, when I discuss my trauma, it's not because I want a hug. 00:02:48.719 --> 00:02:51.759 I I just want to tell you, hey, we all have a story. 00:02:52.000 --> 00:02:53.120 Congratulations. 00:02:53.280 --> 00:02:56.800 Now get up and move forward, and you know what? 00:02:56.960 --> 00:02:58.879 Embrace, embrace it. 00:02:59.120 --> 00:03:06.240 Because if we didn't have something horrible, then it wouldn't move us to transformation. 00:03:06.639 --> 00:03:07.520 Transformation. 00:03:07.680 --> 00:03:10.319 It's transformation, it takes it takes self-decision, you know. 00:03:10.400 --> 00:03:11.599 You need to make a decision. 00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:24.000 Um, I was very lucky, Omar, that at the early age when I had uh uh some episodes in my life, you know, I at one point I decide no more being the victim. 00:03:24.319 --> 00:03:28.400 I need to be a survivor, I need to be the warrior, I need to want to control my life. 00:03:28.560 --> 00:03:30.240 And you know, and that was the key. 00:03:30.960 --> 00:03:31.759 That was the key. 00:03:32.000 --> 00:03:40.000 Of course, from that decision to get you know there is not easy, you know, it has to be a lot of growing, a lot of forgiveness. 00:03:40.159 --> 00:03:44.240 Forgiveness has been a huge thing for me in my life, right? 00:03:44.719 --> 00:03:48.400 And um uh the book was inspiring my life in my brother. 00:03:48.560 --> 00:03:53.120 My brother now, my brother is four years younger than me, and I had such admiration for him. 00:03:53.199 --> 00:03:58.319 You know, I think I'm here thanks to him, thanks to the motivation that he gave to me. 00:03:58.479 --> 00:04:02.159 And, you know, I I had something to fight for since early age. 00:04:02.319 --> 00:04:06.800 So I really believe that transform our lives is something possible. 00:04:07.120 --> 00:04:19.920 Uh I I wrote about the five dimensions of metamorphosis of love because I want people to understand that every dimension, you know, is just a one step up to get where we want to go, right? 00:04:21.120 --> 00:04:22.639 Roger, yeah. 00:04:23.199 --> 00:04:29.839 An incredible book, but literally, who were you before all that turmoil began? 00:04:31.279 --> 00:04:34.240 Well, um, you want to share a little bit of my story, Omar? 00:04:34.480 --> 00:04:36.319 Oh, you're brother, of course, man. 00:04:36.399 --> 00:04:43.439 That's what that's what man, now I don't think maybe it's because I'm cheese muscle, maybe it's because I'm a busybody. 00:04:43.680 --> 00:04:46.879 Maybe it's because I have two degrees in journalism. 00:04:47.279 --> 00:04:55.759 Yeah, the story, the prequel, the origins, watching uh uh, you know, superhero movies. 00:04:56.160 --> 00:05:02.560 Yes, we all know, but it's amazing to see what created them into who they are. 00:05:03.120 --> 00:05:07.199 It's true, and I um I'm a big believer of that though, Mar. 00:05:07.439 --> 00:05:12.000 You know, uh um I'll be trying to be, you know, to get short story, right? 00:05:12.079 --> 00:05:15.199 But at least to show a little bit of who I am. 00:05:15.360 --> 00:05:20.000 Um so uh I went through a difficult childhood. 00:05:20.160 --> 00:05:25.360 My childhood was you know full of abuse, you know, emotional abuse, psychological, physical. 00:05:25.600 --> 00:05:29.920 I went through um since my dad remarried, I was seven years old. 00:05:30.160 --> 00:05:38.319 Um, you know, uh the first great challenge of my life was that me and my brother were not able to see my mom. 00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:44.399 You know, we're not allowed to see my mom, you know, that that kind of you know mentality that people had before. 00:05:44.560 --> 00:05:49.519 Oh, we break up, you cannot see the kids, you know, involving the kids on that fight. 00:05:49.759 --> 00:05:55.120 Uh, but then, you know, uh when they remarried, my dad remarried, then we went through a difficult thing. 00:05:55.279 --> 00:05:59.040 See, then our lives really become really, really hard. 00:05:59.360 --> 00:06:02.480 And um, and I shared that on my TED talk. 00:06:02.720 --> 00:06:05.920 That's um, you want to share the story or just yeah, bro. 00:06:06.399 --> 00:06:08.240 That's what you're here for, man. 00:06:08.560 --> 00:06:12.000 Okay, so uh I never shared this stuff before to two years ago. 00:06:12.240 --> 00:06:15.120 Mark, you did a tad talk, and you know what they say. 00:06:15.199 --> 00:06:22.800 They say, you know, I I've been teaching leadership, you know, um uh neuroprogramming linguistic, emotional intelligence. 00:06:22.959 --> 00:06:30.319 That was what I did leadership, you know, working with companies, but never talking about my life, never talking about my experience. 00:06:30.399 --> 00:06:53.439 So when I did a tad talk, I said, No, you need to go deeper, you need to exactly that my my TED talk, what people will never realize, and I'm saying this, it's edited because I I broke down in the in the middle, and yeah, uh I cried, and then I had to get my composure and and go, but yeah, I saw you're emotional in the TED talk. 00:06:53.600 --> 00:07:08.399 Yes, it was like that, but I really I thought I was holding it together, and then I broke down, and then you know how they okay, let's get from that point, but yeah, it's in the middle, so it they had to edit, yeah, yeah. 00:07:08.560 --> 00:07:11.680 No, I I I I get you for me, it was really difficult too. 00:07:11.759 -->

00:07:22.879 I I I I did have a lot of um experience in my life on a scenario and being the stage with a lot of more people than the TED talk, uh, but but that connection with your emotions. 00:07:23.199 --> 00:07:26.959 Uh, when you're talking about something so powerful, it's it's difficult. 00:07:27.199 --> 00:07:29.439 I didn't break down, but it was a point too. 00:07:29.600 --> 00:07:36.399 I just I think I I just want to keep going strongly because if I stopped there, you know, I would break down too. 00:07:36.560 --> 00:07:43.199 Uh so the story happened uh when I was um about to be 12 years old, and my brother four years younger. 00:07:43.680 --> 00:07:53.439 And uh to have an idea, my dad was uh like the manager of a building in in downtown in Curitiba, big city of the south south Brazil. 00:07:53.600 --> 00:08:10.480 And we used to live in the rooftop, and the rooftop was around the little uh container walls, like three feet contain walls, and there was a big patio outside uh that later to later in life my brother and I would call the patio of hell because a lot of bad things happen over there, right? 00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:14.319 But that was that day, Omar, that I was really distressed. 00:08:14.480 --> 00:08:16.160 Um, I was really down. 00:08:16.319 --> 00:08:22.639 I was at the point that when people ask me what I was feeling that day, I was just saying, you know, I was so tired. 00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:24.800 I was really, really tired. 00:08:24.879 --> 00:08:26.079 I just want to quit. 00:08:26.240 --> 00:08:29.120 I just saw the point that I couldn't handle anymore. 00:08:29.279 --> 00:08:33.919 I didn't want to fight anymore, I didn't want to any kind of abuse anymore. 00:08:34.080 --> 00:08:34.799 I was done. 00:08:34.960 --> 00:08:41.440 So I remember going, taking the elevator all the way to my house, open the door, get into the patio from the kitchen. 00:08:41.679 --> 00:08:51.039 We accessed the patio, and and I sit down at that container wall, my legs hanging, looking down, 10th floor, and I was not afraid. 00:08:51.279 --> 00:08:55.039 I was just tired, very tired. 00:08:55.279 --> 00:08:57.679 And I was about to do the big jump. 00:08:57.759 --> 00:08:59.440 I decided that was it. 00:08:59.759 --> 00:09:03.440 And you know, God, God has such a way to do things, right? 00:09:03.679 --> 00:09:06.720 God has the timing, He has the perfect timing. 00:09:07.039 --> 00:09:22.799 And I think I was already about to, it was really cold, it was the winter, and I was ready to do the jump, and then the door opened, the kitchen door opened, and my young brother, my little brother came out, and he said, Brother, what are you doing? 00:09:23.039 --> 00:09:25.200 And then I kind of broke down with him, right? 00:09:25.279 --> 00:09:26.879 I said, Brother, I cannot do anymore. 00:09:26.960 --> 00:09:28.000 I I just done this. 00:09:28.080 --> 00:09:29.279 Is too much for me, you know. 00:09:29.360 --> 00:09:31.519 I I cannot live anymore. 00:09:31.600 --> 00:09:35.679 There is no reason for me to be living this life, I cannot find sense in anything. 00:09:35.919 --> 00:09:45.679 And my brother was seven or more, he was seven years old, and he looked at me with so much wisdom, and he understood. 00:09:46.240 --> 00:09:50.320 And I used to say that he saw me, but not like he saw me, he really saw me. 00:09:50.799 --> 00:10:06.480 So he walked, he went to the the same uh the same wall, he did he climbed the wall, he sit down also with his legs hanging, and he told me, Brother, if you jump, I jump. 00:10:09.200 --> 00:10:13.200 You can imagine, Omar, you know, the mix of feelings I was feeling at the time. 00:10:13.279 --> 00:10:15.360 I say, No way, you cannot do this, brother. 00:10:15.519 --> 00:10:17.600 How are you gonna do this? 00:10:17.840 --> 00:10:18.960 You were a great kid. 00:10:19.120 --> 00:10:22.879 You look at your heart, you had so much to leave, you're gonna accomplish such great things. 00:10:22.960 --> 00:10:28.639 And I don't remember all the words, but I remember myself mad at my brother because he wanted him. 00:10:29.120 --> 00:10:36.399 And then I understood that every word that I was telling him, I was telling myself. 00:10:37.039 --> 00:10:40.639 Every feeling about him was a feeling about myself. 00:10:40.799 --> 00:10:49.440 And I understood for the first time in life, I understood that the the power of having someone that you love, and it's really and you really care. 00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:52.960 And I understand that I was important for someone too. 00:10:53.279 --> 00:11:01.840 And I used to say from from two years ago, I used to say that that day I stopped becoming a victim, and I started becoming a warrior. 00:11:02.159 --> 00:11:05.360 And that was the jump for me. 00:11:05.679 --> 00:11:08.320 Survival, the first dimension metamorphosis of love, right? 00:11:08.480 --> 00:11:09.120 Survival. 00:11:09.200 --> 00:11:10.480 Well, my life didn't change. 00:11:10.559 --> 00:11:18.320 I had the same problems, the same situation, but me, my perception of life changed at that moment, and I became a warrior. 00:11:18.639 --> 00:11:28.240 And later on, I thought, you know, I was very lucky, you know, to go to a youth group that took me to forgiveness. 00:11:28.320 --> 00:11:34.879 I used to work in retrieves and start giving conferences and speeches about forgiveness, about God and everything. 00:11:35.120 --> 00:11:37.200 And my life changed, right? 00:11:37.600 --> 00:11:42.879 So that moment was the base for me to get to that. 00:11:43.039 --> 00:11:49.840 And I thought, in my life, I thought that my mission was really have an impact in other people's life. 00:11:50.240 --> 00:11:51.360 Father shared that with you. 00:11:51.440 --> 00:11:53.919 I didn't share that with anyone on my earth first time. 00:11:54.720 --> 00:12:04.320 I understood now, after I'm 53, 54, that the biggest mission of my life was fatherhood. 00:12:05.840 --> 00:12:18.399

Even bigger than the training, the conferences, the retrieves, even bigger, the all the counseling, even bigger, the whatever you know I had to do in life, and God gave me an opportunity to do it. 00:12:18.639 --> 00:12:21.039 Fatherhood became for me so important. 00:12:21.279 --> 00:12:30.559 And I think having the image of my young brother, I think it was the first time that I felt like he was like my first son, you know, someone that was dependent on you. 00:12:30.720 --> 00:12:32.240 Sorry, I'm talking too much. 00:12:32.480 --> 00:12:35.120 No, no, you're not talking, you're you're it's fine, brother. 00:12:35.279 --> 00:12:37.360 Not forgiveness, though. 00:12:37.600 --> 00:12:38.799 Was that the hardest thing? 00:12:38.960 --> 00:12:44.320 Was to forgive yourself or to forgive everybody else and all the situations. 00:12:45.039 --> 00:12:55.759 Once once I once I got um a little older and I start with that group, it was so God is is good because He I met the girl, you know, that she invited me to a youth group. 00:12:55.919 --> 00:13:00.559 And I remember I didn't want to go, I was 16 by the time, 16, about 17. 00:13:00.799 --> 00:13:06.159 Because I was having my independence, it was doing a little bit better, but I still was shy. 00:13:06.240 --> 00:13:07.360 I was a very shy person. 00:13:07.440 --> 00:13:10.000 I I wouldn't smile, I wouldn't do anything, you know. 00:13:10.240 --> 00:13:12.320 All the trauma was still with me. 00:13:12.480 --> 00:13:20.960 And I remember when she invited me to that group, and and finally I was just you know going around with the idea, and they decided to take the buzz and go over there. 00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:30.799 And so interesting, Omar, because when I opened the door to the meeting, they are talking right and they stopped talking, and everybody stopped looking at me. 00:13:30.960 --> 00:13:40.320 And then that girl got the the you know the guitar and started singing a song, welcoming me and you know, having my brother in the song, and everybody started singing. 00:13:40.480 --> 00:13:50.799 And it was the first time that I felt, you know, like I belonged to a place, and I found that group of persons that you know embraced me as I was and saw something different in me. 00:13:50.960 --> 00:13:53.759 And then I started my journey to forgiveness. 00:13:54.000 --> 00:13:58.799 And through forgiveness, I understand that um there's three types of forgiveness Omar. 00:13:59.440 --> 00:14:02.159 And for me was very important, all of them. 00:14:02.480 --> 00:14:06.159 The first one is forgiving others, right? 00:14:06.320 --> 00:14:10.559 It's important for you to forgive others, you know, let the luggage go. 00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:15.440 Sometimes forgiving someone is even more important for you than it's for the other person. 00:14:15.840 --> 00:14:30.559 And thanks to all this work that they started doing, you know, those retrieves and work with the youth and everything, I couldn't understand how power

for me, uh, you know, letting the luggage go and I did when I was 17, it didn't change my life. 00:14:30.720 --> 00:14:35.840 My relationship with my parents, my stepmom, everyone is great. 00:14:36.080 --> 00:14:40.399 I had opportunity to take care of them in my life and be present for them. 00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:42.480 And it really, there is nothing now. 00:14:42.720 --> 00:14:49.600 And then some of the reason that I did not never talk about it was really because I didn't want to hurt anyone, you know. 00:14:49.759 --> 00:14:52.720 But now I think I can do it without hurting anyone. 00:14:52.879 --> 00:14:56.000 And thanks God, that that was key for me. 00:14:56.240 --> 00:15:14.879 But I discovered that there's this two other kinds uh of forgiveness, and the other one, people maybe will feel offended about that, but but uh I think forgiving God and forgiving the life of the universe because so many times I was in my childhood, I was thinking, why God? 00:15:15.039 --> 00:15:15.840 Why me? 00:15:16.000 --> 00:15:17.840 Why is it happening to me? 00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:22.559 Why I have to go, you know, endure those things, why that's suffering? 00:15:22.799 --> 00:15:24.720 Why I cannot go and see my mom? 00:15:24.960 --> 00:15:33.840 Why I cannot have you know access to this or that, and then you start understanding in life that you know that's part of the bigger thing, a bigger deal. 00:15:34.000 --> 00:15:38.000 But it takes time and it takes you to be able to acknowledge that. 00:15:39.279 --> 00:15:56.240 You know, so when I saw when I say forgiving, forgiving God or forgiving the universe, is more like um open the doors of your heart to spiritual growth, understanding that you know it's okay, God's not gonna be offended. 00:15:56.480 --> 00:16:02.000 He wants you to reveal what you're feeling, he wants you to let it go too, right? 00:16:02.240 --> 00:16:18.799 So it's it's better for go for you to go and say and then forgiveness that part, and then of course, the the hardest part, and the hardest part of forgiveness is forgiving yourself, forgiving yourself sometimes because we are really hard judges to ourselves, Omar. 00:16:19.039 --> 00:16:24.320 Omar, I remember I was in um in the middle school, fifth grade, and I want to be a goalie. 00:16:24.399 --> 00:16:34.559 And I remember in the second half the coach put me in and I was being a goalie, you know, there, and three minutes in the game, they score a beautiful goal and I couldn't stop it. 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:36.480 And the coach took me out. 00:16:36.799 --> 00:17:14.960 Omar, you know when I was goalie again in my life when I was an adult person, like 30 some years old, that we didn't have a goalie, so I was playing goalie, and I realized that it was my dream as a kid, and I decided to be forward, so we can be very hard on ourselves, you know, to forgive ourselves, and that takes time, that takes a lot more, and your inner transformation, it takes a lot more, but when we understand that our life changes when you feel proud of your scars, feel proud of who you are, you start believing yourself, then forgiveness forgiveness gets a full circle. 00:17:15.359 --> 00:17:19.359 And I think for me, uh that was the hardest thing. 00:17:19.440 --> 00:17:35.759 Um in my life, Omar, there is two ways right that you can live your life, either under the judgment of the world or under the judgment of the father. 00:17:37.039 --> 00:17:39.759 The world it wants to put shame on you. 00:17:40.079 --> 00:17:45.359 Everything that you do, you're gonna be there, they're gonna point it out, they're gonna make you suffer. 00:17:45.599 --> 00:17:47.279 They wanted you to feel shame. 00:17:47.440 --> 00:17:56.400 If you remember the movie The Lion King, when the Mufasa died and the little lion was there, you know, Simba was there just looking at his dad, right? 00:17:56.640 --> 00:17:57.759 Remember that scene. 00:17:58.000 --> 00:18:00.480 So the uncle, Ascar, from Mr. 00:18:00.799 --> 00:18:01.119 World. 00:18:01.519 --> 00:18:02.480 You did that. 00:18:03.119 --> 00:18:05.759 You are guilty, right? 00:18:06.000 --> 00:18:15.200 You are the one, so you need to run away, and that's how the world wants you to run away, it wants you to feel guilty, it wants to feel bad. 00:18:16.079 --> 00:18:18.319 But the judgment of the father is different. 00:18:19.839 --> 00:18:26.400 The judgment of the father they take the guilt off, makes you face what you did. 00:18:26.880 --> 00:18:35.039 When the monkey finally finds Simba years later, what he said, look at you, look at look at your dad. 00:18:35.599 --> 00:18:36.640 He's in the lake. 00:18:37.119 --> 00:18:39.279 And he started looking at the lake, he saw his own image. 00:18:39.359 --> 00:18:42.720 He said, No, this is not my dad, this is me. 00:18:43.279 --> 00:18:45.359 They said, No, look deeper. 00:18:45.759 --> 00:18:53.680 Your father lives in you, and you are meant to be a king, and that's why I believe, Omar. 00:18:53.920 --> 00:19:03.680 I believe that under the judgment of the father that lives in us, we are called to be kings, the kings, at least the kings of our lives. 00:19:03.839 --> 00:19:16.640 So for me, those are the three kinds of uh forgiveness that I had to face, and and thanks God I did early in life, and and I could uh and at least I could become the person that I that I want to be, you know. 00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:19.039 Now, Roger. 00:19:20.319 --> 00:19:23.039 The author of The Heart of Turmoil. 00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:27.839 Now, writing this book, uh-huh, was it therapy? 00:19:28.079 --> 00:19:31.440 Was it pain, or was it both? 00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:34.480 Um, I I don't think it was a pain, Omar. 00:19:34.720 --> 00:19:42.880 A pain definitely not because thanks God, I'm in peace with everything that uh my life brought to me because it just brought me to a wonderful place that I am now. 00:19:43.039 --> 00:19:45.440 I'm a father of two kids, I have a beautiful

wife. 00:19:45.599 --> 00:19:48.480 Like, I'm living in America, one of the greatest places in the world. 00:19:48.640 --> 00:19:52.720 You know, like um I had opportunities to do so many great things. 00:19:52.880 --> 00:19:57.839 Um, I was coached for 20 years and I could uh influence so many kids. 00:19:57.920 --> 00:19:59.039 I think I have a lot of kids. 00:19:59.200 --> 00:20:02.799 I go to everywhere, you know, I have kids that already have kids, you know. 00:20:02.960 --> 00:20:07.920 So I don't think it is any pain, but therapy, that was therapy for me. 00:20:08.079 --> 00:20:12.319 You know, trying to put the words together, you know, and express the story. 00:20:12.400 --> 00:20:18.880 And then I had to get to a novel because I want to give something for the youth, especially, right? 00:20:19.039 --> 00:20:27.039 I want to leave them those those things about forgiveness, about you know, maturity, about uh spiritual metamorphosis. 00:20:27.279 --> 00:20:29.920 But I think it's more fun if I do through a story. 00:20:30.079 --> 00:20:52.799 And then I mix a lot of my story with my brother's story, and that's how we came up with the turmoil, you know, and and and really what it is is is is uh is a novel of hope, you know, trying to bring hope to the people and the same time leaving some self-development, you know, some some guidance in there that things can be done. 00:20:52.960 --> 00:21:03.119 Most of the people that read the book, they said that uh they start seeing things differently, that change the perception of so many things they they understood better while we go through. 00:21:03.759 --> 00:21:04.960 Hope and love, brother. 00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:06.720 It's about hope and love, man. 00:21:06.880 --> 00:21:08.000 It is about hope and love. 00:21:08.319 --> 00:21:09.200 Well, Roger. 00:21:10.319 --> 00:21:14.240 So when you were talking about all that, the young Roger. 00:21:15.359 --> 00:21:21.119 What did you believe love was at that at that moment, way back then? 00:21:21.359 --> 00:21:23.839 And what do you believe love is today? 00:21:25.039 --> 00:21:26.079 This is a great question. 00:21:26.160 --> 00:21:30.079 I I don't think never I never got that question in my life Omar, you know. 00:21:30.160 --> 00:21:33.359 But uh that's why you're supposed to be on the show, brother. 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:35.759 You got it, you got the good things here, Omar. 00:21:35.920 --> 00:21:36.319 And thank you. 00:21:36.400 --> 00:21:39.519 You're making me think about things and new things. 00:21:39.599 --> 00:21:51.359 And thanks for uh uh bringing me, you know, even more out of my comfort zone, you know, talking about myself, but especially talking about my younger self, uh, is it still not easy, Omar? 00:21:51.680 --> 00:21:53.519 Um, I didn't know what the love was. 00:21:53.680 --> 00:21:57.599 I think the only love that I had in my life when I was young really was my brother. 00:21:57.759 --> 00:21:59.759 My little brother was for

me the sustained. 00:22:00.240 --> 00:22:04.799 You know, and he was the one that uh really showed me unconditional love. 00:22:04.960 --> 00:22:06.799 And I think I did the same to him. 00:22:06.960 --> 00:22:11.200 We had so many stories, Omar, that we went through together in our childhood. 00:22:11.359 --> 00:22:15.279 And I think you're gonna write a book one day, just with those stories, you know, for the people. 00:22:15.599 --> 00:22:27.039 So I think I started understanding love better when I start going to that group and uh and I start getting uh a stronger relationship with God. 00:22:27.359 --> 00:22:31.920 Uh, I think God was the most fundamental love that I had in my heart. 00:22:32.160 --> 00:22:39.440 And from there, I could, you know, understand and direct my love to my brother better. 00:22:39.680 --> 00:22:41.839 I could help him through his things. 00:22:42.160 --> 00:22:45.599 I could finally um reestablish the relationship with my mom. 00:22:45.680 --> 00:22:58.000 I start seeing my mom again when I was 16, 17, and understand her share of the story, you know, what she went through, what then those this is another different novel, you know, what she has to leave. 00:22:58.079 --> 00:23:01.200 And then going through my dad and even my stepmom. 00:23:01.359 --> 00:23:05.440 My stepmom was only 10 years, you know, difference in age of me. 00:23:05.519 --> 00:23:09.680 So it was like a little girl trying to to raise, you know, those kids. 00:23:09.839 --> 00:23:11.680 She didn't know better, you know. 00:23:12.000 --> 00:23:21.440 So uh we start having we start having a sense of what love is, and love is empathy, forgiveness, and kindness. 00:23:23.440 --> 00:23:31.519 What I still love today, um, I still love us the way you make a difference in people's lives. 00:23:33.279 --> 00:23:39.440 Doesn't matter if it's your wife, your kids, or some strange on the street. 00:23:40.160 --> 00:23:46.319 I believe that all the words will mean nothing if there's no kindness involved. 00:23:46.559 --> 00:23:51.599 Uh sometimes, you know, this is something I share, right? 00:23:51.680 --> 00:23:52.799 I like to share things. 00:23:52.960 --> 00:24:00.000 And let's say sometimes I go to my cough shop and I see someone and I see a chance to go and pay for it for somebody else. 00:24:00.079 --> 00:24:00.640 I do it. 00:24:00.799 --> 00:24:09.759 It doesn't matter, you know, it's the poor or rich, it's just for me is a way to so or someone is talking about something, I want to be listening, I want to be there. 00:24:10.000 --> 00:24:18.799 You know, um, coaching all those years, I always try to be inclusive and and and be with everyone, uh treat everyone differently. 00:24:18.960 --> 00:24:20.319 So I think love it is. 00:24:20.400 --> 00:24:28.079 Love is uh what we do, what we do to make things better, what we do to make uh um uh people's lives better. 00:24:28.240 --> 00:24:32.000 Um, and love is what matters the most to you too. 00:24:32.160

--> 00:24:39.839 You know, I have the greatest loves of my life, is my wife and my two kids, you know, and then my family in general. 00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:43.759 So I'm I'm really blessed on that sense. 00:24:45.279 --> 00:24:46.079 Completely, man. 00:24:46.160 --> 00:24:47.759 You're completely blessed, brother. 00:24:47.920 --> 00:24:57.839 And you can see it, and you know, just imagine if you could tell your young self what the future held in store. 00:24:58.079 --> 00:25:00.000 I would you wouldn't believe it, right? 00:25:00.319 --> 00:25:02.799 No, no, I don't think I wouldn't believe it. 00:25:02.960 --> 00:25:06.559 Um, we we came from a really poor childhood. 00:25:06.720 --> 00:25:08.559 We I basically had nothing. 00:25:08.720 --> 00:25:12.880 Um, I just went to school because I was convinced nobody told me I had to go to school. 00:25:12.960 --> 00:25:14.960 I was convinced that I had to go to school. 00:25:15.119 --> 00:25:17.839 That's how I finished high school and everything. 00:25:18.079 --> 00:25:26.880 And uh I was the person that since early age, because I work a lot in a reception, you know, on the building uh in the radio station, you know, I read a lot. 00:25:26.960 --> 00:25:28.400 I was always reading. 00:25:28.559 --> 00:25:34.240 Um, so I believe in education, but I never thought that God would take me all the way over here or more. 00:25:34.720 --> 00:25:43.119 Um, I went to Mexico when my first opportunity I I was in in the Catholic seminar for almost two years. 00:25:43.200 --> 00:25:44.720 I was trying to become a priest. 00:25:45.039 --> 00:25:45.759 A priest, huh? 00:25:46.079 --> 00:25:47.039 Priest, yes. 00:25:47.279 --> 00:25:51.119 Oh nothing to see to do with my uh fatherhood, right? 00:25:51.359 --> 00:25:59.119 But um I I discovered there that was not my call, but I was so thankful to God that I want to try. 00:25:59.359 --> 00:26:03.119 And then uh they they they gave me an opportunity that they gave me an option. 00:26:03.200 --> 00:26:11.519 They said, Roger, if you don't want to be a priest, why don't you go to Mexico or Spain, spend one year of your life working with the youth? 00:26:11.680 --> 00:26:13.920 And I said, I love that, I want to do it. 00:26:14.240 --> 00:26:19.359 So that was my opportunity to move out of Brazil and I went to Mexico for one year. 00:26:19.599 --> 00:26:33.119 For one year, all I did was camping, retrievies, going to conferences, you know, giving speeches from since uh, you know, people, you know, like younger kids in school to universities and all over the place. 00:26:33.279 --> 00:26:34.799 We we went up for a year. 00:26:34.880 --> 00:26:42.640 That year we we had a congress for 10,000 people in Monterey, Mexico, uh, you know, called Gente Nueva. 00:26:42.799 --> 00:26:48.720 So I had this great opportunity to grow because when you're giving, you're receiving more than giving, right? 00:26:48.880 --> 00:26:50.640 And I was growing and knowing. 00:26:50.799 --> 00:26:56.400 So I go back to Brazil, I go back to talk to my mama, and they invited me to play soccer in Mexico. 00:26:56.880 --> 00:26:59.039 And for university, giving me a scholarship. 00:26:59.119 --> 00:27:00.079 It was an opportunity. 00:27:00.160 --> 00:27:04.000 I told my mom, six months, mom, I'll go and I'll be back. 00:27:04.079 --> 00:27:09.039 I just want to have another experience of playing soccer, but then everything changed somewhere. 00:27:09.200 --> 00:27:15.680 I met my wife, and from that point, my life started taking a different direction. 00:27:16.000 --> 00:27:31.519 So, most of my professional life, I was in Mexico, and uh, I was working a lot with uh Mexican Airlines, Aero Mexico, and I was doing what I liked the most, you know, giving training, leaders, leadership skills, communication skills, and everything. 00:27:31.759 --> 00:27:34.559 And then uh something happened Omar. 00:27:36.000 --> 00:27:41.200 My little kids were three years old, Roger, and Robson was one and a half. 00:27:42.079 --> 00:27:50.640 And I was traveling 24-7 Omar, three weeks out, half a day on Sunday back home, then going again like this. 00:27:50.720 --> 00:27:55.759 And I said, everything that was preaching, I was not leaving it. 00:27:56.480 --> 00:28:11.680 So I had to make a decision, and we had experience to be in California because I have five brothers-in-law that live in California, and I saw my brother-in-law going to soccer games with the kids, going to the park, you know, being able to be with them at night. 00:28:11.839 --> 00:28:25.759 So I decided to leave my suit, to leave my hotel life, and going to California to paint houses without speaking in English, without not a word of the English, you know. 00:28:25.920 --> 00:28:28.160 And that was the greatest decision of my life. 00:28:28.319 --> 00:28:30.720 People say, You crazy, why you did that? 00:28:30.960 --> 00:28:37.599 But that decision, Omar, allowed me to be home every day, to put my kids to bed, to coach them. 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:40.160 And then later on, I had my own business. 00:28:40.319 --> 00:28:43.920 But when I started getting to learn the language, that was not easy. 00:28:44.079 --> 00:28:47.440 Spanish was easy, but you know, English was a different deal. 00:28:47.680 --> 00:28:52.000 Um, you know, so now today I understood. 00:28:52.319 --> 00:29:04.160 That's why I said my my greatest mission in life was fatherhood, and then comes you know, making people making difference, you know, and and trying to be uh to help people with the inner transformation. 00:29:04.319 --> 00:29:06.799 But the fatherhood was a big thing for me. 00:29:08.000 --> 00:29:09.359 No, Roger. 00:29:09.839 --> 00:29:13.440 I mean, I hear turmoil, and I think that's amazing. 00:29:13.599 --> 00:29:20.240 I I love turmoil because every time I've ever been in turmoil, it means I have to level up. 00:29:20.480 --> 00:29:27.519 But white, but people when they hear it, they always think it's

something super bad. 00:29:28.480 --> 00:29:34.079 Now, in your opinion, can turmoil actually is it necessary to grow? 00:29:34.720 --> 00:29:35.839 It's very necessary. 00:29:36.000 --> 00:29:38.559 Um, I think we cannot jump that that phase, you know. 00:29:38.720 --> 00:29:43.279 Turmoil is is is the only thing that you will make you value things. 00:29:43.440 --> 00:29:51.599 You know, if you don't go, you can be good at something, but when we've been in turmoil, you're gonna become excellent. 00:29:51.920 --> 00:29:58.960 When you really find challenge, something challenging in your life, Omar, is when you really wake up for the importance of things. 00:29:59.119 --> 00:30:05.759 You know, you you're not gonna get and say, I'm a great climber, great climber if you go to any small mountain. 00:30:06.079 --> 00:30:09.920 But if you go and climb a big mountain, that becomes important for you. 00:30:10.079 --> 00:30:26.720 And one thing that I used to share is this is not getting to the top of the mountain that makes it makes good or makes valuable is the process, is the journey, you know, it's la subida, right? 00:30:26.880 --> 00:30:29.680 Getting up there, that's what makes valuable. 00:30:29.839 --> 00:30:35.680 Sometimes turmoil is the only thing that really will make that metamorphosis real. 00:30:37.039 --> 00:30:41.759 We used to complain why I'm enduring this, why I'm going through this. 00:30:42.000 --> 00:30:49.759 But the reality is, I would ask Iomar, would you be the person that you are today without turmoil? 00:30:51.759 --> 00:30:52.079 No. 00:30:54.160 --> 00:31:04.799 No, I if if I had zero turmoil, I mean I I I grew up lazy. 00:31:06.079 --> 00:31:20.319 And I still have that aspect, but every time God sees me as wanting to settle or to relax, that that's like that saying the smooth seeds never makes a captain. 00:31:20.720 --> 00:31:27.200 Yes, you need you need horrible turbulence to make a a pilot. 00:31:27.599 --> 00:31:36.000 You need to take off and land in extreme situations to become a uh an amazing pilot. 00:31:36.079 --> 00:31:40.240 And and that's that's the same thing with with with life. 00:31:40.400 --> 00:31:48.960 W what happens though is people you you they they don't embrace that the thing is they don't think it's temporary. 00:31:49.599 --> 00:31:50.000 Yes. 00:31:50.400 --> 00:31:58.559 And then they wanna they wanna hold, since we're both Catholic, they wanna hold it like it's their cross. 00:31:58.880 --> 00:31:59.279 Yes. 00:31:59.519 --> 00:32:03.200 The drama, the the horrible situation. 00:32:04.240 --> 00:32:06.640 It bec it becomes their identity. 00:32:07.440 --> 00:32:13.279 They wanna say, hey, if if that if I was that person, hey, look at me. 00:32:14.079 --> 00:32:15.599 This is who I am. 00:32:16.880 --> 00:32:22.720 I couldn't be better, I couldn't overcome my situations because of this. 00:32:22.960 --> 00:32:24.880 This is me playing victim. 00:32:25.759 --> 00:32:27.599 I could have been better, but you know what? 00:32:27.759 --> 00:32:29.119 I didn't have a better situation. 00:32:29.200 --> 00:32:30.559 I didn't have a dad in my life. 00:32:30.720 --> 00:32:36.240 If I had a dad in my life, I could have been uh a CEO, I could have been this, I could have been that. 00:32:36.400 --> 00:32:40.960 We could always, you know, we could always choose all these different things, you know. 00:32:42.480 --> 00:32:45.279 That's why I don't choose any cross, you know. 00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:49.680 Everything have I had heartache and and heartbreak in my life, yes. 00:32:50.079 --> 00:32:51.599 Has there been sadness? 00:32:51.759 --> 00:33:04.880 Yes, but who wants to watch everybody loves the movie every of being they love to watch the hero movie because they can't see themselves, so they can see fiction. 00:33:05.119 --> 00:33:08.240 But I tell everybody, you are the hero. 00:33:08.559 --> 00:33:09.519 Why can't you? 00:33:09.680 --> 00:33:11.519 Why can't you be Rocky? 00:33:12.559 --> 00:33:15.680 Why can't you overcome amazing odds? 00:33:15.839 --> 00:33:16.559 Why can't you? 00:33:16.640 --> 00:33:29.200 And that's why I I mean, as in college, I remember having uh, even though I'm Latino, I had to take um Spanish for English people, which was a good thing because I had to take like five classes. 00:33:29.359 --> 00:33:35.759 I I think I'd be writing the the sequel to Man La Mancha if I had to take harder Spanish. 00:33:36.000 --> 00:33:44.160 And and the last Spanish class we had was reading Miguel Cervantes' man, you know, Manela Mancha. 00:33:44.480 --> 00:33:49.519 And you know, I it took me a million years to realize he was a hero. 00:33:49.680 --> 00:34:18.400 He was that was success, he was happy, but yet you here we are as society saying, Oh, you crazy old man, you're stupid, you're this, that that chick, if Dulce, whatever, Dulce Via, she's she's a whore, she's a prostitute, she's a nobody, that little guy, you're chasing windmills, you're doing this, there's no dragons, there's no, but no, in the ultimate definition of happiness and success, he was both. 00:34:18.719 --> 00:34:19.760 Yeah, yeah. 00:34:19.920 --> 00:34:21.840 And and who are we to judge? 00:34:22.079 --> 00:34:29.440 Yeah, and that that's that's why, you know, like your book, you know, everybody wants to. 00:34:30.400 --> 00:34:37.039 I mean, that's everything that you described, you know, there is no metamorphosis, you know? 00:34:38.000 --> 00:34:39.440 It's like your book. 00:34:40.000 --> 00:34:46.719 Who who who was Roger on page one compared to who he was? 00:34:47.360 --> 00:34:53.199 Could you imagine if you you you picked up that book, your book, and you're the same person? 00:34:56.239 --> 00:34:58.000 What would the point of the book be, right? 00:34:58.239 --> 00:35:00.559 That's no that's no transformation. 00:35:00.960 --> 00:35:03.199 There is no transformation, and it's exactly what we say. 00:35:03.360 --> 00:35:12.880 And sometimes the the

experience that we have, Omar, the turmoil that we have, it does help other people, it does help to go through their own turmoil. 00:35:13.039 --> 00:35:24.239 Sometimes in not solving, we cannot take the turmoil from their lives because we all need to go through the turmoil, to the challenges, to the difficult times, but it helps them to support. 00:35:24.400 --> 00:35:26.400 Um, I share a story with you, Mark. 00:35:26.639 --> 00:35:28.559 Just came to me right now. 00:35:28.719 --> 00:35:34.639 Um, and that was a conversation that I took with my brother, you know, like I think it was a couple of weeks ago. 00:35:34.880 --> 00:35:40.960 And we remember because he had to do something in the hospital and he was doing a treatment. 00:35:41.199 --> 00:35:45.039 So we started talking about, you know, some challenge that we had. 00:35:45.280 --> 00:35:50.480 And I will tell two stories to make sense of one and to get to the full circle. 00:35:50.719 --> 00:35:59.360 Um when my brother, the same place, the talking about that terrace, terrassa, we call the terrassa, the terrassa of hell, right? 00:36:00.159 --> 00:36:01.760 My brother was seven. 00:36:02.480 --> 00:36:04.400 No, I was 10. 00:36:04.559 --> 00:36:07.039 So he was six or seven that time. 00:36:07.519 --> 00:36:12.480 And um, my stepmom found him on the on her mom's house. 00:36:12.559 --> 00:36:16.639 You know, my brother was peeing on the back of a wall that he should not be peeing. 00:36:16.800 --> 00:36:20.480 He and his cousin, he just peeing, just like little kids, six years old peeing. 00:36:20.639 --> 00:36:25.599 So my stepmom was so upset, you know, and started, you know, fighting him and hitting him. 00:36:25.679 --> 00:36:31.360 And then when my brother came home, she told how mad she was, you know, about everything. 00:36:31.519 --> 00:36:33.280 And my dad was so mad that day. 00:36:33.360 --> 00:36:38.400 I think something was going on with him that he decided to punish my brother in a very harsh way. 00:36:38.559 --> 00:36:40.320 So the punishment was just like this. 00:36:40.480 --> 00:36:43.039 Those winter again, again, winter, cold. 00:36:43.119 --> 00:36:49.119 Uh you know, Kiritiba has uh cold of uh 42, you know, 30, 34, 36, 38. 00:36:49.360 --> 00:36:50.719 So it was very cold. 00:36:50.960 --> 00:37:00.960 And uh and he said to my brother, take your clothes, take your shoes, and you're gonna be walking from one side to the other on the terrassa for one hour. 00:37:02.320 --> 00:37:03.199 That was painful. 00:37:04.239 --> 00:37:10.320 Seeing my brother couldn't be able to not, I couldn't do anything about it. 00:37:10.800 --> 00:37:14.159 Just join him, and one hour I saw this kid. 00:37:15.119 --> 00:37:23.280 Little kid that he had no idea why this was happening, crying back and forth, and I was looking. 00:37:23.440 --> 00:37:37.280 This was the thing for building, so it was big buildings around 24, 25, 26, you know, floors, and you know, people in the offices, the waffle buildings, and I was I was playing, God, please don't let anyone see him. 00:37:37.440 --> 00:37:45.039 I you know, I I I I didn't want him to be ashamed, not only the physical punishment, but you know, the the shameful. 00:37:45.119 --> 00:37:48.639 Remember, we're talking about shame in Lulu, it was exactly that. 00:37:48.800 --> 00:37:57.519 I was concerned about his shame, and he endured the whole thing, and that was something that stuck with us. 00:37:57.679 --> 00:37:59.440 Um, and it was very traumatic. 00:37:59.679 --> 00:38:04.079 Still today, my brother has a hard time when it's too cold, he doesn't like cold at all. 00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:07.840 Yes, because it triggers him, it triggers him, it's an anchor, right? 00:38:08.800 --> 00:38:10.639 The anchor is already there, yeah. 00:38:10.719 --> 00:38:13.599 The anchor is already there, and it doesn't matter. 00:38:13.840 --> 00:38:27.519 I I bet you no matter where he goes, if it's cold, he either it angers him or there's sadness that changes it changes his mood, you know, affects him and a lot. 00:38:28.559 --> 00:38:33.039 So uh that being said, understanding the discount, how you know with the cold. 00:38:33.119 --> 00:38:38.239 Um, uh, like 10 years ago, um, my brother has a son, Jonathan, now he's like 30. 00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:43.199 But when Jonathan was like 19 or 20, he had a bad uh motorcycle accident. 00:38:43.360 --> 00:38:45.440 He he hit the he was crossing the bridge. 00:38:45.599 --> 00:38:47.519 There was a horse car, literally a horse car. 00:38:47.679 --> 00:38:50.559 You know, he hit the horse car and hit his head really bad. 00:38:50.800 --> 00:38:51.920 He went to the hospital. 00:38:52.079 --> 00:38:54.960 He was between life and death for seven days. 00:38:55.199 --> 00:38:58.559 They have to open his skull, drain all the blood. 00:38:58.719 --> 00:38:59.599 You know how that goes. 00:38:59.679 --> 00:39:04.719 He had that, you know, he hit his uh um column, how you call it, you know, the in the back. 00:39:05.039 --> 00:39:06.480 Yeah, uh, yeah, the spine. 00:39:07.119 --> 00:39:08.159 The spine, right? 00:39:08.400 --> 00:39:16.960 So, and my brother, you know, he was with him the whole time, but he was not allowed to stay after 10 o'clock. 00:39:17.280 --> 00:39:24.880 So my brother would hide like for three or four hours in a little another patio, but there was a little patio outside the room. 00:39:24.960 --> 00:39:38.639 There was a little patio, so he would hide on the coat, you know, for three or four hours till everything was dark, so he could jump in in the room again with my brother or with my uh my nephew, right with his son. 00:39:40.559 --> 00:39:47.360 And two things over here that I want to put as uh, you know, something for us to think about this. 00:39:47.599 --> 00:39:59.440 The first thing, how a kid that endured that kind of punishment becomes such a great father that wants to be present with his son when he needs the most,

right? 00:39:59.840 --> 00:40:35.760 How how he became that father, and and the second, you know, thing that's is is in my mind that he told me, you know, how and I said how hard it was for him to be with his son between life and death, you know, those seven days, and he told me, brother, when I was at that patio in the cold, I remember that punishment, and that punishment prepared me to face the pain that was going through on those seven days. 00:40:37.280 --> 00:40:46.960 So even when we do not understand, we're living something really hard in our lives, something that we do not deserve, something that's not fair. 00:40:48.159 --> 00:40:58.719 Even that, that turmoil, that challenging, we're gonna use in later in life if you know how to approach things correctly. 00:41:00.159 --> 00:41:00.719 Exactly. 00:41:01.360 --> 00:41:17.280 Inner transformation is that I I this for me is the example of inner transformation, becoming understanding what you went through, living it, surviving it, understanding, focusing on what is better, and using for the good of other people. 00:41:17.519 --> 00:41:20.079 In this case, his life and his son. 00:41:20.559 --> 00:41:47.679 But with you write about metamorphosis, but isn't it crazy how some people a lot of times they just do the self-sabotage with their transformation because it's fear they they get afraid of this new version of who they're becoming that they prefer familiar familiarity, they prefer what they know, what they already know. 00:41:48.960 --> 00:41:51.599 And it's to me that's ultimate sadness. 00:41:51.679 --> 00:41:56.480 It's like here you are, just take the the two steps forward. 00:41:56.719 --> 00:41:58.400 Why are you gonna run back? 00:41:58.880 --> 00:42:00.239 Move on, no, yeah. 00:42:00.320 --> 00:42:04.719 That that that part that wasn't serving you, that that's that that wasn't fun. 00:42:04.960 --> 00:42:14.800 You you're literally talking about, or you tell everybody and you you pray to God, you pray to Jesus that you want something different, and here you're running back to that. 00:42:15.119 --> 00:42:16.320 Yeah, yeah, it's true. 00:42:16.480 --> 00:42:25.039 And how instead of having the courage, just whatever it is that you are becoming is way better than in the past. 00:42:25.760 --> 00:42:27.039 Way better, yeah. 00:42:27.199 --> 00:42:42.880 And sometimes we see all the blastings, and we don't want to take it because you were still a slave of your own past, you're a slave of your situation, you're a slave with our weaknesses, you're a slave with your old self, you know, and your past does not dictate who you are. 00:42:43.039 --> 00:42:45.519 You need to get rid of the anchors, you know. 00:42:45.679 --> 00:42:48.960 All this is holding up, you need to let it go, all these looks need to go. 00:42:49.039 --> 00:42:50.639 So we need to give the step. 00:42:50.800 --> 00:42:52.079 Um, it's so amazing. 00:42:52.320 --> 00:43:08.239 If you see some movies or if you work with uh

that kind of thing before, um, you can see that people, let's say people that are slave for a period of time in abuse, once they they they are out of there, they miss that place, they want to go back. 00:43:08.400 --> 00:43:15.280 Oh, yes, completely want to go back to that room where they're slave because that's what I said familiarity, yeah. 00:43:15.360 --> 00:43:16.159 Oh, familiar. 00:43:16.559 --> 00:43:23.440 I mean, that's why I mean I was addicted to toxicity because I felt that that was norm. 00:43:23.679 --> 00:43:51.119 I I felt that I didn't deserve better in any type of relationship, whether it was business, whether it was personal, I needed it to I needed turmoil, I needed destruction, I I needed to to chase people that that not that I was way better, but I was chasing them thinking, you know, I I I need their love, I need their approval. 00:43:51.280 --> 00:43:59.519 And it it until you do the work, until you realize that it's the same person, yeah, different. 00:44:00.159 --> 00:44:01.280 Name and different face. 00:44:01.760 --> 00:44:15.920 But until you change that aspect of your life and you can't be hugging yourself and saying, Well, I changed this aspect of your life, you have to you have to do it 100% with every aspect of your life. 00:44:16.000 --> 00:44:19.039 Because if not, it all just bleeds and it's like a rubber band. 00:44:19.199 --> 00:44:24.159 You just come, you you the journey means you you just go back to who who you were. 00:44:24.559 --> 00:44:28.239 Yeah, we we have that tendency to self-sabotage ourselves, you know. 00:44:28.480 --> 00:44:32.880 For me, uh one of the greatest things you you you're talking about being toxic, right? 00:44:32.960 --> 00:44:36.400 And how this is what something that you've been finding about in your life. 00:44:36.559 --> 00:44:39.599 And for me was you know, the fear of a rejection. 00:44:40.000 --> 00:44:48.320 Oh, I I had that we was rejected so many times that it's so hard, and and it's still Omar, and it's still to those days, you know. 00:44:48.400 --> 00:44:57.039 Sometimes I found I I can find myself trying to make people happy, but then it's for the right reason, or was it because I don't want to feel rejected? 00:44:57.360 --> 00:45:11.679 Even today, I we still because we always have that we still in the middle carry that who we carry that trauma with us, but you have that self-awareness, you know when that comes up that that that might be the reason. 00:45:11.920 --> 00:45:12.960 Yes, exactly. 00:45:13.039 --> 00:45:16.320 Yeah, so now we're lucky that we have the understanding, right? 00:45:16.480 --> 00:45:30.159 We're in a position to make a decision about it because we're conscious about it, we can make a decision, but before we're not, and if you are not realizing it, and most of the people they they get stuck in that dimension, you know, maturity never comes. 00:45:30.320 --> 00:45:44.400 You know, the third dimension of the metamorphosis is maturity, and it's you know, it's the time that you need to face your fears, face your challenges, get rid of your anchors, you know, start believing yourself and people self-sabotage when things start opening for them. 00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:46.000 Oh, I'm not good enough. 00:45:46.239 --> 00:45:54.960 Oh, if it happened again, and that's your ego, you know, trying to keep you in a comfort zone to you, secure, so you're not gonna suffer anymore. 00:45:55.199 --> 00:45:56.320 But guess what? 00:45:56.639 --> 00:46:12.800 You have to you have to get that step, you have to go and run that mile, you have to have that experience, you have to face your fears because if you don't face the monster, you know, the monster will be bigger than you think, and the monster is not that big. 00:46:13.119 --> 00:46:14.960 Is he the monster big? 00:46:15.440 --> 00:46:20.960 No, you you create the monster, you create the monster, you give it energy, you know. 00:46:21.199 --> 00:46:41.119 Uh uh a lot of times it's it's either self-inflicted, you're the monster, you're the monster because you're you're you're self-destructing, and you're you're pretending that there's obstacles or that there's something there holding you back, and and you you think something's holding you back, and it's literally just yourself, yeah, yeah, yeah. 00:46:41.199 --> 00:46:41.920 It's just yourself. 00:46:42.000 --> 00:46:45.519 It's it's just like the i I just went to the to the Twitter the other day. 00:46:45.599 --> 00:46:53.599 We were watching the beauty and the beast, and all the the the the the fear that the beast had that was self-inflicted, you know. 00:46:53.760 --> 00:46:57.519 You know, he he was the hardest judge with himself. 00:46:57.760 --> 00:47:02.480 So he had to challenge himself to face himself to get out of there, you know. 00:47:02.559 --> 00:47:03.920 Then he could find love. 00:47:04.079 --> 00:47:05.920 And sometimes the same thing with us. 00:47:06.079 --> 00:47:13.760 You want to find love, you want to find you know, plenty to in your life, you need to get out of that area, out of that zone. 00:47:13.840 --> 00:47:19.119 You need to face your monsters, you need to kill your monsters, and you need to make yourself uh bigger. 00:47:19.199 --> 00:47:25.280 It's that's self-love that requires the person that doesn't is I'm not worthy. 00:47:25.440 --> 00:47:30.800 I that person doesn't, you still haven't loved yourself yet, 100%. 00:47:31.519 --> 00:48:17.360 You can think you do, and you can lie to people and you can post about it on social media and all, but uh deep down inside, yes, you can lie to yourself, but subconsciously, deep down in in your soul, we know when when you ultimately forgive, when you ultimately have that self-love, when you ultimately realize your identity is who what who you believe you are, what you say you are, what you that you don't worry about others, and you don't worry about trying to impress people or uh uh just going through the motions.

00:48:17.599 --> 00:48:45.760 When you realize uh I I mean I I realized in every aspect, like right now at 53, I I I shocked myself because I I see myself now, I've been posting more like recent like I I don't post as much, but when I dudes I post pictures of my two daughters, and I want to tell people that doesn't mean I'm not happy. 00:48:45.840 --> 00:48:53.199 It doesn't mean if you want to know what's going on in my personal life, give me a call, text me, do something. 00:48:53.440 --> 00:49:04.559 You you don't need to see me having dinner just because just because I'm not posting on I'm all out of town or on vacation, that doesn't mean that it's not happening. 00:49:04.800 --> 00:49:12.719 But you know that that's what to me that's the ultimate sign of growth is it's like are am I happy with who I am? 00:49:12.960 --> 00:49:18.000 Have I found have have I finally loved myself? 00:49:18.639 --> 00:49:21.199 Do I finally forgive myself? 00:49:21.440 --> 00:49:46.079 Yeah, and all all of this is yes, and that's why literally, and I I will tell whether you're you've never done any personal development, or whether you've graduated, you you've gone to every seminar, you've done every firewalk, you have the pictures with Brendan Burchard and Anthony Robbins, and you you feel amazing. 00:49:46.239 --> 00:49:52.320 And you this book is for you in that aspect, or you're that person like my mom. 00:49:52.880 --> 00:49:59.039 People always ask me, has she read the books, listened to a podcast, the Ted talk and all? 00:49:59.280 --> 00:50:03.599 No, my mom still calls Anthony Robbins Anthony Roberts. 00:50:03.840 --> 00:50:12.880 So clearly, you know, if if she doesn't know who he is, I'm always gonna just be her son, not not anybody else, and I'm fine with that. 00:50:13.039 --> 00:50:26.400 And there's a lot of wisdom to that, a lot of exactly because everybody wants to to hug me, like, oh just be that doesn't mean she my mom unconditionally loves me and done so much for me. 00:50:26.800 --> 00:50:34.079 I mean, there's a billion billions of people that haven't read either book, they haven't, they don't know who I am, you know. 00:50:34.320 --> 00:50:34.639 Exactly. 00:50:34.960 --> 00:50:38.480 Hello to my my my mom created me. 00:50:38.559 --> 00:50:40.800 I I don't need her as my fan. 00:50:41.039 --> 00:50:45.280 And hell being sincere because how do I know it's good? 00:50:45.519 --> 00:50:52.239 You know, it it's it's like I I have to, you know, as a parent, okay. 00:50:52.320 --> 00:50:56.960 My young my youngest daughter did a TED talk a couple years ago. 00:50:57.199 --> 00:51:01.679 I I it it could have been horrible, and I it it's my kids. 00:51:01.840 --> 00:51:17.280 So to me, I would have to tell other people you watch it, because no matter what, you know, I I I I think it it's better than you know the 10 million views that somebody's you know, and that's that's just as a parent. 00:51:17.760 --> 00:51:28.000 So yes, and and and that's

why I mean we indirectly and directly talked about this book. 00:51:28.239 --> 00:51:45.360 Because you thought I was gonna literally ask you questions uh uh pertaining to the book, but brother, this this whole episode is about the book, it's all about the book, it's all indirectly in the book, it's about the stories, it's about what we go through, you know. 00:51:45.519 --> 00:51:55.840 Uh um, you know, and when you see, you know, when you see a novel and you see those things over there, it's not talking about me, it's talking about your own life, you know. 00:51:56.079 --> 00:51:58.960 Yes, but I I wanted this interpretation. 00:51:59.199 --> 00:52:04.639 I didn't want you to go on 50 and all of them 50 be the same. 00:52:04.880 --> 00:52:05.599 Exactly. 00:52:06.320 --> 00:52:16.880 I want people to I'm exp I'm talking through my experience of the book while talking about your experience because our lives are very similar. 00:52:17.760 --> 00:52:29.599 Our past are very similar, our present and our future, and our future, our present working to be in service, to help others, to live a better life. 00:52:29.760 --> 00:52:31.519 That's how we are the same. 00:52:31.840 --> 00:52:34.079 So, yes, that's what I want. 00:52:34.239 --> 00:52:36.559 I want people to be holy smokes. 00:52:36.960 --> 00:52:40.079 These guys are talking like they've known each other for years. 00:52:40.159 --> 00:52:51.920 Because holy smokes, yes, if you pick up this book and you read this book, I I don't say people need to do anything, they don't need to read my book because you know what? 00:52:52.159 --> 00:52:59.119 People, unfortunately, I'll say your book and my and my two books, they're not gonna do the work. 00:53:00.639 --> 00:53:12.400 They they they're nice, they're cute, and all that, but until someone literally believes in themselves, dreams about a better future, knows they can create it and do the work. 00:53:12.719 --> 00:53:14.880 When somebody asks me, does my book work? 00:53:15.119 --> 00:53:15.360 No. 00:53:15.599 --> 00:53:16.639 Does your book work? 00:53:16.800 --> 00:53:17.119 No. 00:53:17.440 --> 00:53:18.800 Does any book work? 00:53:19.039 --> 00:53:19.360 No. 00:53:19.760 --> 00:53:25.760 Unfortunately, you have to go through it and you have to believe it and you have to work at it. 00:53:25.920 --> 00:53:57.280 Yeah, and uh, some ways, somehow we all we all write in our books, uh, you know, sometimes not either printing the book or publishing the book, but we all have our story, and and and you know, like when you're talking about this and and how much difference we can make in people's lives sometimes is a word, sometimes it's an action, sometimes it's our books, sometimes it's something on the book, or sometimes it's something that somebody got indirectly from that mission or for that podcast, and they apply. 00:53:57.920 --> 00:54:02.239 And um, I I I I do I have time to one more little story. 00:54:02.559 --> 00:54:11.039 You can brother, you can tell me as many stories and if it goes over this means you have to come back and we do part two. 00:54:11.599 --> 00:54:13.119 I I think we we have a lot. 00:54:13.199 --> 00:54:16.159 I have a feeling we're gonna do things together, uh Omar. 00:54:16.400 --> 00:54:19.519 I I wanna I would love to share a you know a scenario with you. 00:54:19.679 --> 00:54:23.360 I hope we had a chance to uh brother together, yeah, to do things together. 00:54:24.239 --> 00:54:26.960 Life, there's no randomness, everything happens for a reason. 00:54:27.119 --> 00:54:30.079 I g I I'm gonna put that out there so it can happen. 00:54:30.159 --> 00:54:48.159 Uh, then it happens once uh uh I was uh recently married, and I I put that on the experience I shared on the book on the on the this is the spiritual metamorphosis dimension five, and I shared that story because for me, for me, that's how I I closed the book uh or the the the metamorphosis, right? 00:54:48.400 --> 00:54:54.480 Um, I was invited to close to do a closing for the uh retrieve in Aguascalientes, Mexico. 00:54:54.719 --> 00:55:06.800 So that school did not have a big room, and all of a sudden that closing um was a Sunday night, and there was like 900, 950 kids, 16, 17. 00:55:07.199 --> 00:55:14.239 So we have to go to the basketball gym and all the kids on the stands and all the on the court, right? 00:55:14.480 --> 00:55:17.360 Everybody there, and that day was beautiful, Mar. 00:55:17.840 --> 00:55:21.280 I find myself, you know, like I felt like God was in the room. 00:55:21.440 --> 00:55:26.480 We talk a lot about forgiveness, how to forgive yourselves, how to let the luggage go. 00:55:26.639 --> 00:55:27.760 And and it was amazing. 00:55:27.840 --> 00:55:38.480 And I remember that it was a special day with my wife, and we were there, and and people were hugging at the end, people were sharing, people, you know, you could see the spirit that was there. 00:55:38.960 --> 00:55:41.599 But Omar, self-sabotage. 00:55:42.000 --> 00:55:47.920 Something comes to my mind, and you start thinking, what if it's not true? 00:55:48.400 --> 00:55:53.760 Why if it's just like a nice emotional song that you listen, feel good, and then vanishes? 00:55:54.079 --> 00:56:02.639 And I was so you know, uh unsettled, and then I have to go because I had another event and I was going through everybody, everybody hugging me, you know, you saying goodbye. 00:56:02.719 --> 00:56:05.599 There's just one door to go out of the gym. 00:56:05.840 --> 00:56:15.519 And by the time that I was going out the door, a little girl, a young girl, you know, 16 years old, 17, she just faint in front of me. 00:56:15.920 --> 00:56:18.000 The right time, just when I was passing, she fainted. 00:56:18.159 --> 00:56:19.280 I could grab her in my arms. 00:56:19.440 --> 00:56:20.239 She didn't fell. 00:56:20.320 --> 00:56:22.000 I could grab her and I took her. 00:56:22.079 --> 00:56:26.639 And then uh uh the the lady that worked

over there opened a dormitory right for us. 00:56:26.800 --> 00:56:28.559 So I put her on the bed with my off. 00:56:28.880 --> 00:56:30.320 My wife brought some alcohol. 00:56:30.480 --> 00:56:36.079 You start, you know, trying to um to help her, and she started becoming conscious again. 00:56:36.239 --> 00:56:38.880 She started crying and crying, and she started sharing. 00:56:38.960 --> 00:56:49.599 She didn't recognize me, but she was sharing, you know, all the uh the problem that she had with her stepfather, and she shared with Miomar that she was about to give up. 00:56:50.880 --> 00:56:54.559 She had no hope, and she was about to take her life. 00:56:54.800 --> 00:57:00.719 That was the only thought that she had till that day, till that conference. 00:57:01.280 --> 00:57:07.199 After you know, whatever happened in that room, that one hour with the kids, she felt hope again. 00:57:07.440 --> 00:57:12.719 She felt like she could forgive, that she can go through it, she wants to live again, and she started sharing with me. 00:57:13.519 --> 00:57:18.719 And then I see God giving me the biggest lesson of my life, even when you don't see it. 00:57:18.880 --> 00:57:23.760 I'm I'm I'm showing this to you because I love you, I want you to understand. 00:57:24.400 --> 00:57:27.519 But most of the things that we do, Omar, we don't see it. 00:57:28.400 --> 00:57:36.639 And it's still that is a fruit out there, it's still that is an impact, we still do good, and I remember for me that story was a full circle. 00:57:37.280 --> 00:57:51.119 How my brother basically was there and saved me when I was you know to jump in the building, and how I was present for that little girl when she was uh hopeless in her life. 00:57:51.280 --> 00:57:57.039 So, somehow, somehow, for me, this is how God works through us. 00:57:57.760 --> 00:58:12.960 We don't see it sometimes, sometimes it's not that you can touch it, but it is there, and some way, somehow, the turmoil will help us and will help other people too. 00:58:14.400 --> 00:58:15.679 Amazing, brother. 00:58:16.000 --> 00:58:34.000 Now, Roger, everything you've experienced, everything you wrote in the heart of turmoil, if someone right now listening feels like their life is just falling apart, what would you want them to know about the person who might be waiting for them on the other side? 00:58:35.760 --> 00:58:45.119 That there is hope, that uh time will let you to be in the right place where you deserve to be. 00:58:45.760 --> 00:58:58.159 And um, I think if I would uh think about the message for this book is there is nothing, absolutely nothing, that hope and love cannot accomplish. 00:58:59.280 --> 00:59:00.719 Amazing brother. 00:59:01.199 --> 00:59:02.719 You are love. 00:59:04.320 --> 00:59:06.559 This book is about love. 00:59:07.599 --> 00:59:11.360 Now how can I know how to get a copy? 00:59:11.599 --> 00:59:13.440 You literally gave me a copy. 00:59:14.159 --> 00:59:14.960 And thank you. 00:59:15.119

--> 00:59:18.559 That that's someone that's very giving, very generous. 00:59:19.039 --> 00:59:25.440 Now, how do others how do people this is a this is a must read. 00:59:25.679 --> 00:59:30.320 Where do they find how do they buy turmoil and metamorphos of love? 00:59:30.480 --> 00:59:33.280 And more important, how do they find you? 00:59:34.079 --> 00:59:38.159 So um they uh if they uh the the book is in Amazon. 00:59:38.320 --> 00:59:42.880 Um you can look for the author, Rogerio Roland de Mora. 00:59:43.440 --> 00:59:47.599 Um uh you already, you know, I I can show you the book. 00:59:47.679 --> 00:59:58.639 This is the if people wanna show in the heart of a turmoil, a metamorphosis of love by Rogerio Rolin de Mora. 00:59:59.360 --> 01:00:02.800 Right, and uh you can find this in uh in Amazon. 01:00:02.960 --> 01:00:04.480 I also have my first book. 01:00:04.719 --> 01:00:09.119 There's also a beautiful novel for youth is the in the hidden depth of your eyes. 01:00:09.280 --> 01:00:11.360 Also talk a lot about forgiveness. 01:00:11.519 --> 01:00:23.440 Uh, those are my two books out there, and my books that I wrote is is is for people to find hope, um, to understand how important they are and that they matter. 01:00:24.320 --> 01:00:29.199 So, and for me, you can find me if you I do a lot of coaching too, Omar. 01:00:29.360 --> 01:00:30.639 I do personal coaching. 01:00:30.800 --> 01:00:37.199 Um, I help people with uh um mentoring, you know, mentorship and advising. 01:00:37.280 --> 01:00:42.480 Um, I have my own system, and you can find me on Instagram, coach Roger Rowling. 01:00:43.039 --> 01:00:48.719 Um, in Instagram, you know, please reach out and I'll be glad to respond and answer. 01:00:48.880 --> 01:00:50.960 I'm really good and then answering back. 01:00:51.119 --> 01:00:56.320 So, and um, we will keep in touch for events and things that uh for sure, brother. 01:00:56.719 --> 01:00:57.679 For sure. 01:00:57.840 --> 01:01:01.280 Yes, I it is my pleasure and my honor. 01:01:01.599 --> 01:01:02.719 I'm always in service. 01:01:02.960 --> 01:01:04.719 You need me for anything, brother. 01:01:04.960 --> 01:01:05.840 I'm there. 01:01:06.000 --> 01:01:09.039 Uh I walk the walk and talk the talk. 01:01:09.360 --> 01:01:18.559 Thank you for the hour, thank you for the book, and more important, coach, because I'll call you coach because you you deserve that title. 01:01:19.760 --> 01:01:27.360 Thank you for being in service and wanting to create a better today and tomorrow for the people out there. 01:01:27.679 --> 01:01:28.480 Thank you, Omar. 01:01:28.719 --> 01:01:33.360 Thank you for being a beautiful soul, for being a mentor for so many, now for me too. 01:01:33.519 --> 01:01:38.800 And and thank you for all what you do, all you do, because you have such a great heart, brother. 01:01:38.960 --> 01:01:47.679 It's no way to see the love that you have is now, you know, you you bright it up, you brighten up the room when you're there, you know, your experience with your love. 01:01:47.840 --> 01:01:51.920 And and that's something that uh we need to acknowledge and be thankful for. 01:01:52.079 --> 01:01:55.599 So thanks so much for the opportunity and and for the friendship. 01:01:55.760 --> 01:01:59.280 It seems like I know you from years and years ago. 01:01:59.440 --> 01:02:00.960 Uh we're great spirits. 01:02:01.039 --> 01:02:02.719 We're we're similar spirits, brother. 01:02:02.880 --> 01:02:03.760 Yeah, they are. 01:02:03.840 --> 01:02:04.719 So thank you, Omar. 01:02:04.960 --> 01:02:05.519 Thank you very much.