Dive Into Pegging - With Ruby Ryder: täielik transkriptsioon

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WEBVTT 00:01:11.209 --> 00:01:23.530 This is the Venus Cuckolders Podcast, a place to learn all things cuckolding for the curious, for the passionate, and for the sexually empowered woman who wants it all. 00:01:37.369 --> 00:01:38.409 Let's go. 00:01:39.049 --> 00:01:40.009 Welcome to the show. 00:01:40.089 --> 00:01:41.209 I'm your host, Venus. 00:01:41.289 --> 00:01:42.810 Thanks for joining me today. 00:01:43.689 --> 00:01:44.329 Pegging. 00:01:44.489 --> 00:01:46.569 One of my favorite topics. 00:01:46.729 --> 00:01:50.489 I never thought I would like pegging, and I fucking love it. 00:01:50.729 --> 00:01:58.409 And ever since I had Ruby Rider on the show back in 2022, you guys have been asking for more Ruby Rider. 00:01:58.889 --> 00:02:01.689 And she is back on the show today. 00:02:01.849 --> 00:02:05.929 We're going to dive into pegging with Ruby Rider. 00:02:06.329 --> 00:02:13.530 And of course, Locktober is a great time to learn about pegging because so many of you are locked in chastity right now. 00:02:13.769 --> 00:02:15.449 At least I hope you are. 00:02:16.009 --> 00:02:19.209 How's everybody feeling with Locktober? 00:02:19.370 --> 00:02:24.329 Any first timers out there who are having quite the experience? 00:02:24.569 --> 00:02:26.409 I would love to hear from you. 00:02:27.129 --> 00:02:33.209 And make sure that you have a listen to the last episode that came out, if you haven't already, with Key Barrett. 00:02:33.930 --> 00:02:39.289 He is the author of Locked in Love, one of my absolute favorite chastity books. 00:02:39.529 --> 00:02:47.769 And he was on the show and he talked about advice, tips with chastity, but also some funny stories. 00:02:48.089 --> 00:02:55.849 And also chastity with a twist when it comes to feminization attire. 00:02:56.169 --> 00:02:57.610 Anyway, it was so much fun. 00:02:57.689 --> 00:02:59.449 You definitely want to check that one out. 00:02:59.610 --> 00:03:01.289 The last episode with Key Barrett. 00:03:01.610 --> 00:03:04.009 All right, I have uh some announcements. 00:03:04.169 --> 00:03:17.209 The first is actually just a reminder: please do not try to listen to the show on YouTube because YouTube has given me two strikes and removed most of my uh recent episodes uh saying that they don't like them. 00:03:17.449 --> 00:03:22.329 So I'm not able to post anything on YouTube for a few months. 00:03:22.489 --> 00:03:24.489 So uh you're not gonna find this show on there. 00:03:24.569 --> 00:03:33.209 You're gonna have to listen on Spotify or Apple Podcasts or VenusCuckledris.com or whatever podcast app that you want other than YouTube. 00:03:33.769 --> 00:03:34.650 Fuck YouTube. 00:03:35.209 --> 00:03:38.329 Anyway, uh last announcement. 00:03:38.810 --> 00:03:42.729 I recently did a couple of really fun pillow talk events. 00:03:42.810 --> 00:03:44.409 One was Mistress B. 00:03:44.729 --> 00:03:48.090 She talked about uh she was on the show not that long ago. 00:03:48.169 --> 00:03:52.650 She and we she did a pillow talk in the Queen's Quarters community with me. 00:03:52.889 --> 00:04:01.689 We talked, she talked about uh FEMDOM and sissification of her husband and forced by um cuckolding dynamic that she has in her marriage. 00:04:01.769 --> 00:04:04.810 So that was so much fun to have a chat with her. 00:04:04.969 --> 00:04:17.209 It was a live event, but if you are a supporter of the podcast and one of the supporter tiers, then you get access to the replays so you can go in and actually watch that video and not miss out on that. 00:04:17.610 --> 00:04:22.329 And the other one that I recently did was with Zach and Brooke. 00:04:22.490 --> 00:04:30.490 He uh Zach was on the show a couple of times, once last year, where he talked about being in a pussy-free marriage and being cucked by BBC. 00:04:30.649 --> 00:04:33.850 And then he recently was on the show again to talk about an update. 00:04:34.009 --> 00:04:39.449 And for this pillow talk that I did with him, his wife Brooke joined as well. 00:04:39.610 --> 00:04:43.289 And so that was so much fun to be able to finally talk with her. 00:04:43.449 --> 00:04:46.810 So if you are in the supporter tier, you can watch the replay. 00:04:46.889 --> 00:05:02.490 If you want to support the show and help me do this as my full-time job, then you can go to VenusCuckledris.com and click on the Queen's Quarters tab, and you'll be able to see the couple of tiers that I have there for anybody who supports the show. 00:05:02.649 --> 00:05:10.009 Plus, you also get access to a huge private library of extra episodes. 00:05:10.250 --> 00:05:21.129 And if you're in the Helpful Cuck tier, you also get monthly private chats with me and weekly live hangouts and access to the Snapchat group, which is tons of fun. 00:05:21.610 --> 00:05:23.610 All right, that's it for announcements. 00:05:23.769 --> 00:05:26.090 Let's jump into the show with Ruby Ryder. 00:05:26.169 --> 00:05:27.129 Here we go. 00:05:34.170 --> 00:05:42.170 Ruby Ryder of PeggingParadise.com and theartofpegging.com has been educating people about pegging for 16 years. 00:05:42.329 --> 00:05:47.449 She's done over 300 podcasts and taught countless webinars during that time. 00:05:47.529 --> 00:05:53.769 And since 2010, Ruby has uncovered a wealth of information in her dive down the rabbit hole of pegging. 00:05:53.930 --> 00:05:55.849 Her passion is to share it. 00:05:56.089 --> 00:06:12.329 She teaches people how to safely and comfortably explore the role reversal, the extraordinary levels of prostate pleasure, the benefits of prostate health, and the deeper intimacy that results from experiencing sex from the opposite side of the bed. 00:06:12.649 --> 00:06:19.610 Ruby spends her time teaching, consulting, writing, and doing everything she can to encourage a sex positive society. 00:06:20.009 --> 00:06:26.730 She resides in Southern California near the beach, and she loves to watch the surfers change out of their wetsuits. 00:06:27.129 -->

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00:06:29.449 Welcome back to the show, Ruby Rider. 00:06:29.689 --> 00:06:31.209 I'm so excited to have you here. 00:06:31.370 --> 00:06:33.370 It's been a hot minute since you were here. 00:06:33.449 --> 00:06:41.129 It was like 2022, the last time you were on, and people have been asking for you to come back non-stop. 00:06:41.370 --> 00:06:44.250 So I'm so happy to have you again on the show. 00:06:44.409 --> 00:06:45.849 Welcome to the show, Ruby. 00:06:46.730 --> 00:06:55.050 That was actually one of the first things I was going to say is I am honored to know that you guys voted and said, hey, we want Ruby to come back. 00:06:55.129 --> 00:07:02.569 And I'm just, I mean, it warms my heart, the cockles of my heart that know to know that you want me to come back and talk to you about pegging. 00:07:02.649 --> 00:07:04.329 So I am very happy to be here. 00:07:04.649 --> 00:07:08.490 Yay! Yeah, I I it was for myself too. 00:07:08.569 --> 00:07:13.290 Like I've had lots of guests on the show, but I learned so much from your show. 00:07:13.689 --> 00:07:23.290 Um, and I know not everybody who's listening to this one will have listened to the last one, even though I will put the link to the previous episode in the show notes for today. 00:07:23.449 --> 00:07:29.129 Um, so so for a lot of the people listening right now, you're new to them and they're not familiar with your story. 00:07:29.209 --> 00:07:39.449 Do you want to just um just give those listeners a little rundown about how you got into this sex educator pegging paradise kind of world that you're in? 00:07:39.930 --> 00:07:42.569 Who I am and how I got here, yes. 00:07:43.689 --> 00:07:49.449 I have had the website peggingparadise.com for the last 16 years. 00:07:49.689 --> 00:07:51.689 I started that that long ago. 00:07:51.849 --> 00:08:00.089 And uh when I first started exploring it, um, I also started exploring BDSM. 00:08:00.329 --> 00:08:07.610 And then I realized that uh I was a dominant sensual sadist, but I really wanted to educate people about pegging. 00:08:07.769 --> 00:08:15.930 So I realized I was scaring some people away on that website because I was writing stories about tying men up and beating them and things like that. 00:08:16.170 --> 00:08:22.569 So I actually put up another website, pegging101.com, and I copied all my informational articles over there with no kink. 00:08:22.969 --> 00:08:34.569 But as far as how did I get interested in kink or or pegging specifically, um I was always interested in anal from a very young age. 00:08:34.649 --> 00:08:37.289 I don't know where it came from, but that was just my thing. 00:08:37.610 --> 00:08:39.610 In fact, this morning, it's so funny. 00:08:39.690 --> 00:09:01.210 When I right after I woke up this morning, I was thinking, I was a memory came to me of how I was watching cartoons, and they had cartoon thing where somebody was spanking somebody else, and like, you know, you get the tingle in the crotch, and I the with the unself-consciousness of a little girl, you know, I'm grabbing my crotch and my grandma goes, get your hands out of there, you know, stupid shit, whatever. 00:09:01.529 --> 00:09:05.849 But yeah, back then spanking was something like whoa. 00:09:06.809 --> 00:09:12.649 It's like people wonder where these things come from, and who knows? 00:09:12.889 --> 00:09:17.049 But way back then, when I was probably around six, maybe seven. 00:09:17.529 --> 00:09:47.609 So anyway, um, I um didn't explore it until I was didn't actually do pegging until I was uh uh f in my 50s, because I kind of wanted to do it with my first two husbands, but I was quite convinced that this whole thing that I was interested in was excuse me, bad and weird and different and strange, you know, like a lot of us that have things that don't fall into the box the society says we're supposed to be in. 00:09:48.089 --> 00:09:52.970 So when I turned 50 and divorced my second husband, I thought, okay, if not now, when? 00:09:53.289 --> 00:09:55.769 And I decided I wanted to explore it. 00:09:56.410 --> 00:10:03.049 So I got on, let's just not name the site because I wouldn't recommend it at this day. 00:10:04.089 --> 00:10:12.730 I got on a dating site that had a special um section of sexually oriented questions that were optional. 00:10:12.890 --> 00:10:16.170 And one of them said, uh, what is your favorite sexual fantasy? 00:10:16.410 --> 00:10:16.650 Right. 00:10:16.890 --> 00:10:20.329 And I thought, well, I'm a writer because I already knew that about myself. 00:10:20.490 --> 00:10:25.369 In fact, I was writing erotic stories about Peg before I even really knew how to do it. 00:10:26.650 --> 00:10:31.690 But so I wrote a story about it, I put it up there and just got besieged by Ben. 00:10:32.170 --> 00:10:38.490 I knew that I wanted to do it and it excited me, but I had no idea that it was something that men really wanted as well. 00:10:39.529 --> 00:10:50.329 So the universe was smiling down on me, and I hooked up with I got to check off two boxes, Venus, Hot Fireman, Hot Fireman, and Pegging. 00:10:50.410 --> 00:10:51.369 And I lied to him. 00:10:51.529 --> 00:10:52.170 I totally did. 00:10:52.250 --> 00:10:56.970 I don't know if he's heard any of these podcasts or anything, because I've said this a number of times. 00:10:57.210 --> 00:11:02.809 But see, I had a career of massage, and I did massage for so long that I knew how to read bodies. 00:11:02.890 --> 00:11:09.129 I know how to read bodies so well, and I was pretty confident that I could pull it off, and I totally did. 00:11:09.849 --> 00:11:13.129 So that was the beginning of my pegging career. 00:11:13.450 --> 00:11:17.690 So you lied to him, you said you you knew what you knew what you're doing. 00:11:18.009 --> 00:11:20.250 Yeah, I lied to him and said I'd done it before. 00:11:20.410 --> 00:11:22.089 Thank you for clarifying that. 00:11:22.250 --> 00:11:25.849 Yes, I totally lied to him and said I had experience, and

I'm like, no, I haven't. 00:11:26.009 --> 00:11:29.049 But I researched it and I had all the equipment and everything. 00:11:29.210 --> 00:11:29.609 Yeah. 00:11:29.849 --> 00:11:30.970 So I love that. 00:11:31.129 --> 00:11:31.930 Hot fireman. 00:11:33.769 --> 00:11:39.609 He totally is or was, or we're not in contact anymore, but yeah, certainly was back then. 00:11:40.410 --> 00:11:49.210 And you know, pegging is is such a role reversal thing that um we had the date and he was just like a very sexual person and he wanted to explore. 00:11:49.369 --> 00:11:51.849 And that this was an area he hadn't explored. 00:11:52.009 --> 00:11:56.410 But at the same time, he was very aware that this is like uh a vulnerable thing. 00:11:56.569 --> 00:11:59.529 This is uh like whoa, I really need to trust you. 00:11:59.609 --> 00:12:02.970 And I think even he said those words, you know, I'm really gonna need to trust you. 00:12:03.049 --> 00:12:04.170 And I said, absolutely. 00:12:04.410 --> 00:12:11.289 And then I totally felt that role reversal happen in real time because I said, you know, take as long as you like. 00:12:11.369 --> 00:12:12.569 It's okay, honey. 00:12:12.730 --> 00:12:18.490 You know, like the guy usually tells a woman, oh, we don't have to do anything right now, right? 00:12:18.730 --> 00:12:25.369 But then he walked me out to my car, we kissed goodnight, and it was one of those kisses that just matches. 00:12:25.529 --> 00:12:27.849 Everybody kisses a little different, right? 00:12:28.009 --> 00:12:29.529 But man, it was like magic. 00:12:29.609 --> 00:12:35.049 And he pulls back from that kiss and says, Anybody that kisses like that, yeah, I'm in. 00:12:36.890 --> 00:12:37.849 That was it. 00:12:38.329 --> 00:12:39.769 Oh, I loved that. 00:12:40.089 --> 00:12:48.329 Yeah, when you really like connect with somebody through a really good kiss, I'm not gonna lie, like I that turns me on so much. 00:12:48.890 --> 00:12:52.009 Like it's really some does something. 00:12:52.490 --> 00:12:58.329 Yeah, sometimes I try and train partners because I've I've encountered guys that have like a pattern. 00:12:58.569 --> 00:12:59.129 Yeah. 00:12:59.450 --> 00:13:05.690 And here's what I tell them I say, you know, when you kiss me, I want you to meet me and react to what's happening. 00:13:05.769 --> 00:13:07.049 I do not want a performance. 00:13:07.210 --> 00:13:10.250 Performances bore me, bore the shit out of me. 00:13:10.490 --> 00:13:13.769 You know, don't just sit there and do things you think I'll like. 00:13:13.930 --> 00:13:16.329 How about react to what I'm doing? 00:13:16.970 --> 00:13:17.769 I love this. 00:13:17.930 --> 00:13:21.849 So you train guys how to kiss you differently the way you want. 00:13:22.329 --> 00:13:23.690 Sometimes, yes. 00:13:25.369 --> 00:13:30.970 I have a boy toy right now who comes over and works pretty hard for me, and then he gets his part. 00:13:31.930 --> 00:13:34.410 And I'm trying to retrain him, you know. 00:13:35.289 --> 00:13:37.049 Oh, I love this so much. 00:13:37.289 --> 00:13:42.170 Because I've come across guys who yeah, you it it does seem like the kissing is performative. 00:13:42.250 --> 00:13:46.170 Like, and you're just like, are we really in the moment in this in this, or is this? 00:13:46.650 --> 00:13:47.210 Am I here? 00:13:47.369 --> 00:13:48.089 Am I here? 00:13:48.170 --> 00:13:48.490 You know? 00:13:48.730 --> 00:13:49.369 Yeah. 00:13:50.009 --> 00:13:51.210 So fascinating. 00:13:51.450 --> 00:13:55.769 Um, okay, and so at some point you were like, okay, pegging is my thing. 00:13:55.930 --> 00:14:00.170 I'm gonna, I'm just gonna fucking jump into this and I'm good at it. 00:14:00.569 --> 00:14:10.490 And then, well, I I started experimenting a bunch, and then I decided, you know, I really want to teach people about this because there's so much about this that they just don't understand. 00:14:11.289 --> 00:14:24.089 And I went to one of the sex toy stores in town, and you know, this story is indicative of how a lot of people just get weird about it and don't want to talk about it because she had a sex toy store. 00:14:24.329 --> 00:14:39.930 Now, in Ventura County, which is where I live, there's something on the books that says if you're gonna sell sex toys, that uh I think it's 70% of your stuff you have in the store has to be not sex toys. 00:14:40.730 --> 00:14:45.369 So most of the time they'll sell a whole bunch of lingerie and then sex toys are in the back or something like that, right? 00:14:45.769 --> 00:14:46.569 That's how this was. 00:14:46.730 --> 00:14:49.450 I'd been in there, I had talked to her about pegging. 00:14:49.609 --> 00:14:55.690 She sold the not that I recommend this, but she sold, well, let's just say she sold a pegging kit. 00:14:56.089 --> 00:15:00.329 I don't recommend kits, but she said, Yeah, I can barely keep it on the shelf. 00:15:00.490 --> 00:15:04.730 So then I came back later, you know, a few weeks later and says, you know, I want to teach about this. 00:15:04.890 --> 00:15:06.809 I'm quite sure I can, right? 00:15:07.129 --> 00:15:09.529 And she said, Yeah, I don't think I have your demographic. 00:15:09.690 --> 00:15:13.369 And I said, Excuse me, you can't keep the kits on the shelf. 00:15:13.529 --> 00:15:15.049 What do you mean you don't have my demographic? 00:15:15.129 --> 00:16:12.329 She goes, Well, yeah, people come in here, people buy these, but they don't want to talk about it. 00:16:12.650 --> 00:16:14.009 Oh, okay. 00:16:14.490 --> 00:16:17.210 So she said, I have someone I would like you to meet. 00:16:17.450 --> 00:16:29.049 And she introduced me to, she connected me with an elder in the kink community who had coffee with me, listened to what I had to say, and said, Yeah, come to one of our munches, not a problem. 00:16:29.369 --> 00:16:30.329 So I did. 00:16:30.490 --> 00:16:34.250 And that is kind of how I started exploring the kink community too. 00:16:34.410 -->

00:16:41.769 Oh I mean, I already kind of knew that I was dominant, but I hadn't really done any kind of BDSM exploration up to that point. 00:16:42.170 --> 00:16:42.490 Okay. 00:16:43.130 --> 00:16:45.529 Yeah, the the those munches, I've heard great things. 00:16:45.769 --> 00:16:48.170 I've never been to one, but I've heard great things about them. 00:16:48.250 --> 00:16:51.769 It's such a great way to connect and learn and and all of that. 00:16:52.089 --> 00:16:53.289 It's a good introduction. 00:16:53.450 --> 00:17:01.130 If you have any leanings into the BDSM, which is like, I mean, that acronym is just like encompasses so many different kinks. 00:17:01.609 --> 00:17:09.049 But it's a nice, easy entry into it because it's social, it's public, no play happens. 00:17:09.210 --> 00:17:12.569 People are just there and they're talking about kink, you know? 00:17:12.809 --> 00:17:16.809 And sometimes they're not talking about kink, they're just talking about what's happening in the world, you know. 00:17:19.130 --> 00:17:35.289 Um, okay, so one of the things that I get uh asked about often is uh people want to do pegging, but they just don't know where to start or how to do it. 00:17:35.369 --> 00:17:39.690 Like it seems very overwhelming and scary. 00:17:39.930 --> 00:17:49.210 Like, I have a lot of guys who just really want, I mean, it's hard enough for them to bring it up to their partner and say, like, I really want this, but they don't even know how they want it. 00:17:49.289 --> 00:17:52.809 And they're just kind of like basing these fantasies off of porn. 00:17:52.890 --> 00:17:54.730 They don't really know what it's like in real life. 00:17:54.890 --> 00:18:06.569 And like, how do couples go about actually making this happen for a first time and doing it in a way, hopefully, that is not gonna be disastrous? 00:18:08.170 --> 00:18:28.089 Well, when first let's back up one one click here and talk about uh talking to your partner about it, because I recorded two podcasts, but the vast majority of time is the receivers who are approaching the potential giver. 00:18:29.289 --> 00:18:30.250 But not always. 00:18:30.410 --> 00:18:32.569 So that is the first podcast that I made. 00:18:32.650 --> 00:18:38.490 And and part of the reason that I did this podcast, I was actually gonna make it into a little book and put it on Amazon and sell it. 00:18:38.730 --> 00:18:44.089 But then I thought, you know, I just want this to have as much exposure as possible in the world. 00:18:44.410 --> 00:18:59.529 So I made it for free and it's there, and it's um it is me taking in my own voice, talking to the potential giver and taking them through all the misconceptions and assumptions that exist. 00:18:59.849 --> 00:19:02.250 And there are a number of them. 00:19:02.569 --> 00:19:13.450 And that way, what ends up happening is you you get really clear about what your partner's asking for, and equally important is you you get really clear on what they're not asking for. 00:19:13.690 --> 00:19:14.169 Oh, okay. 00:19:14.490 --> 00:19:30.409 Because so often, like just for example, here's one uh porn completely overrepresents pegging in conjunction with feminization, PDSM, um, like impact play, things like that, chastity, restraints, stuff like that. 00:19:30.649 --> 00:19:32.569 And also humiliation degradation. 00:19:32.649 --> 00:19:39.210 And all those are wonderful kinks if you're into them, but they're not inextricably connected to pegging by any stretch of the imagination. 00:19:39.369 --> 00:19:44.009 So people get this misconception a lot of times that, oh, you want to do pegging? 00:19:44.169 --> 00:19:46.329 Well, I don't want to dress up like a dominatrix, you know. 00:19:46.409 --> 00:19:50.490 I don't I don't want to call you shitty names or whatever if that's what you're into. 00:19:50.970 --> 00:19:53.210 So it takes people through that. 00:19:53.289 --> 00:20:02.889 And you know, the really important part about those podcasts, because I'd have them in both directions, um, is that I I don't try and convince, I just put it out there. 00:20:03.049 --> 00:20:24.169 And also I think one of the things that's really helpful in those in those recordings is because there's so many things that people connect up with pegging, those every once in a while someone will say, Well, yeah, I kind of want to do, I kind of want to dress up, you know, maybe like in a little lingerie too, while you beg me. 00:20:24.329 --> 00:20:31.369 So what that does is it introduces what can individually be little super scary subjects to bring up, right? 00:20:31.609 --> 00:20:32.169 Yeah. 00:20:32.569 --> 00:20:35.690 And it and you just pause the recording and you talk about it. 00:20:35.769 --> 00:20:40.970 Because I'll say something like, So you may think that your partner wants to dress up in women's clothing. 00:20:41.129 --> 00:20:41.609 I don't know. 00:20:41.769 --> 00:20:42.809 You need to ask your partner. 00:20:42.889 --> 00:20:44.009 Maybe they do, maybe they don't. 00:20:44.089 --> 00:20:44.809 I don't know. 00:20:45.609 --> 00:20:48.089 So those have been very, very helpful. 00:20:48.169 --> 00:20:56.490 I've gotten rave reviews for the one for the women, one for the men is used sometimes, you know, not nearly as much. 00:20:56.730 --> 00:20:58.250 So, okay, that's that. 00:20:58.490 --> 00:21:07.609 So once you get a yeah, I'm totally down to explore, then I think the best way to do it is to come and take my beginner's webinar. 00:21:08.649 --> 00:21:09.129 Yes. 00:21:09.450 --> 00:21:16.730 Well, it's because education can empower, inspire, uh, can calm your fears. 00:21:17.049 --> 00:21:20.409 It can make that first experience so much better. 00:21:20.649 --> 00:21:21.849 So much better. 00:21:22.169 --> 00:21:26.970 And I my webinars are really, you mentioned how you learn so much. 00:21:27.129 --> 00:21:30.089 My webinars are really detailed intensive. 00:21:30.169 --> 00:21:31.289 They're two hours

long. 00:21:31.450 --> 00:21:37.129 And I know that's a big ask for a webinar, but there's just so much up here I want to tell people. 00:21:38.169 --> 00:21:39.450 You know what, Ruby? 00:21:39.529 --> 00:21:47.849 Um, at the beginning of this year, I was like, okay, what are my goals for this year as far as like my my sexuality? 00:21:48.490 --> 00:21:52.409 And I was like, 2026 is gonna be my year to peg some more boys. 00:21:52.569 --> 00:21:55.609 Um, and that's the shirt, yes. 00:21:55.849 --> 00:21:56.490 Yes. 00:21:56.809 --> 00:22:05.529 And yeah, for those of you listening and not watching this episode, I'm wearing my iPeg Good Boys uh t-shirt that I fucking love. 00:22:05.609 --> 00:22:08.970 Um, that I wear to drag cream bingo and they love it. 00:22:09.129 --> 00:22:12.730 Um but anyway, um, at the beginning of the year, I was like, I want to do this. 00:22:12.889 --> 00:22:13.849 It's been a long time. 00:22:14.009 --> 00:22:17.210 It'd been several years since I pegged anybody. 00:22:17.369 --> 00:22:28.649 I kind of like got into it years ago and did it a little bit and loved it, but then it just kind of like fell off for a while and I didn't really prioritize it. 00:22:28.889 --> 00:22:32.089 And so I was like, this year, this is what I'm gonna do. 00:22:32.329 --> 00:22:38.730 Um, but it's interesting because Ruby, I was like, I feel like I want to like learn how to do this properly. 00:22:38.889 --> 00:22:46.250 I'd done it a few times before and it worked out well, but I didn't feel like I entirely knew what I was doing. 00:22:46.409 --> 00:22:50.809 I felt like there was a knowledge and skills deficit there that I was like aware of. 00:22:51.049 --> 00:22:56.169 And so I was like, I'm gonna, I know, I know somebody who teaches this. 00:22:56.409 --> 00:22:57.690 Like, I know this. 00:22:57.929 --> 00:23:04.970 So earlier this year, I actually bought your pegging for beginners webinar and went through it. 00:23:05.210 --> 00:23:09.450 And it is very detailed, and I fucking loved it. 00:23:09.609 --> 00:23:16.649 I have been recommending it to people since then because I was like, this is so thorough, this is so great, and it's it's not like some boring read. 00:23:16.730 --> 00:23:19.690 Like you're it's you explaining all of this stuff in detail. 00:23:19.849 --> 00:23:23.609 And I was literally like making notes of all these things that you're recommending and everything like that. 00:23:23.690 --> 00:23:25.049 I was like, this is so good. 00:23:25.289 --> 00:23:32.250 So for everybody listening right now, Ruby Riders Pegging for Beginners webinar is so fucking worth it. 00:23:32.329 --> 00:23:41.529 It's not expensive, it's it's great, it's it's amazing, and you it's a treasure trove of of information for you. 00:23:41.769 --> 00:23:45.849 So if you're interested in doing pegging right, like this is what you need to do. 00:23:46.169 --> 00:23:49.769 I'll put the link to it in the show notes for today's episode. 00:23:49.929

--> 00:23:55.450 But yes, and and just for informational purposes for everybody, I teach three different webinars. 00:23:55.609 --> 00:23:59.210 I teach beginners, equipment, and advanced. 00:23:59.769 --> 00:24:05.929 And uh I teach all three of Those once per month for free. 00:24:06.889 --> 00:24:10.089 But you got to be able to show up on the live webinar. 00:24:10.169 --> 00:24:10.569 Yeah. 00:24:10.809 --> 00:24:14.490 Because I schedule them on the weekends in the morning, California time. 00:24:15.609 --> 00:24:21.690 And if you would rather add it to your sex education library. 00:24:22.649 --> 00:24:27.369 And of course, I'm picturing like a Dom who's training her stable of boys right here. 00:24:27.529 --> 00:24:28.809 Watch this, right? 00:24:30.329 --> 00:24:31.529 You can totally do that. 00:24:31.690 --> 00:24:35.210 They're$40 a piece, or it's$99 for all three. 00:24:35.690 --> 00:24:39.609 And you have access, lifetime access to it. 00:24:39.849 --> 00:24:41.450 Yeah, I went and bought all three. 00:24:41.529 --> 00:24:42.569 I was like, I want them. 00:24:42.730 --> 00:24:44.409 I want to have lifetime access. 00:24:44.569 --> 00:24:46.250 And I'm glad that I did it that way. 00:24:46.569 --> 00:24:52.730 Yeah, I need to send out a refresher for people who have purchased the equipment one because the equipment one turns out to be dynamic. 00:24:52.809 --> 00:24:57.849 Because you know, toys come, toys go, equipment stops being made, fucking tariffs happen. 00:24:58.009 --> 00:24:58.970 Oh, did I say that? 00:24:59.210 --> 00:24:59.529 Okay. 00:25:00.409 --> 00:25:01.210 Oh no. 00:25:01.609 --> 00:25:04.009 I just I just got a motor bunny. 00:25:04.089 --> 00:25:04.970 This thing back here. 00:25:05.129 --> 00:25:06.409 I just got one of these. 00:25:07.049 --> 00:25:09.369 I do you know how much duties I had to pay? 00:25:09.450 --> 00:25:10.889 I'm up here in Canada. 00:25:11.210 --> 00:25:18.730 On like duties,$600 of went just to get this thing from the delivery guy to my door. 00:25:18.809 --> 00:25:20.250 That's not a delivery fee. 00:25:20.329 --> 00:25:21.450 That is duties. 00:25:21.529 --> 00:25:24.329 Like not though you were in Canada. 00:25:24.649 --> 00:25:24.970 Yeah. 00:25:25.210 --> 00:25:26.089 That's totally cool. 00:25:26.169 --> 00:25:32.970 Uh well, we order, when I say we, I have affiliate connections, of course, and one of them is um my main one. 00:25:33.289 --> 00:25:40.329 And she orders from uh uh Aslan Leather, that sets some of the best harnesses, and they're up in Canada. 00:25:40.569 --> 00:25:48.490 And so she sent me a text and said, So just let your people know that I'm it's tied up in customs, you know, I'm waiting. 00:25:48.649 --> 00:25:56.169 And then she sent me the recap and said, for a thousand dollar order, okay, because I think that's our minimum order, and this is wholesale. 00:25:56.409 --> 00:26:01.529 I had to pay$150 for a custom person to help me do it. 00:26:01.769 --> 00:26:05.529 I had to pay five hundred dollars in tariff fees. 00:26:05.769 --> 00:26:06.649 Oh my god. 00:26:06.889 --> 00:26:08.329 Five hundred dollars. 00:26:08.649 --> 00:26:11.450 Tariffs for sex toys, motherfuckers. 00:26:11.690 --> 00:26:11.929 Right? 00:26:13.129 --> 00:26:17.769 Man, we got to rally the sex education community to go, they have no other reason, man. 00:26:18.569 --> 00:26:19.369 What's up? 00:26:19.609 --> 00:26:23.210 Fucking pop blockers up there in fucking parliament and shit like that. 00:26:23.529 --> 00:26:23.769 Please. 00:26:24.250 --> 00:26:25.210 What the fuck? 00:26:25.450 --> 00:26:26.970 Um, yeah, that's brutal. 00:26:27.210 --> 00:26:29.849 Okay, so yeah, you want to redo the um equipment one. 00:26:29.929 --> 00:26:30.329 That makes sense. 00:26:31.129 --> 00:26:42.490 Well, what I want to do is is send out a thing because after the webinar is over, um, you also get a link to a document that has hot links to all every single piece of equipment that I show you. 00:26:42.970 --> 00:26:49.690 And um those need those get revised as I drop things off and put new things on. 00:26:49.849 --> 00:26:56.089 So I need to send a new one out to everybody and tell them to click the link again and see if there's anything new. 00:26:56.329 --> 00:26:57.690 Because there's always something new. 00:26:58.009 --> 00:27:05.289 You should just put all the links on one web page and then send people the link to the webpage so you can update the links on the webpage anytime. 00:27:05.769 --> 00:27:07.929 Well, I do, but I do it in Dropbox. 00:27:08.169 --> 00:27:08.730 Oh, okay. 00:27:08.970 --> 00:27:10.089 So same, same same. 00:27:10.329 --> 00:27:10.889 Same same. 00:27:10.970 --> 00:27:11.210 Yeah. 00:27:11.369 --> 00:27:11.849 Good. 00:27:12.089 --> 00:27:12.409 Okay. 00:27:12.569 --> 00:27:19.769 Uh so that is a great place for people to start is the webinar, webinars of to be able to learn about cuckolding. 00:27:20.009 --> 00:27:22.809 You talked a little bit about bringing it up to your partner. 00:27:23.210 --> 00:27:31.129 Um, but as far as like planning out your first session, are what how do people go ahead and do this? 00:27:31.210 --> 00:27:43.210 Because I find this is like uh also a little bit nerve-wracking too, because you've done the research, you've done all the things, like you've learned all the things, but like how do you actually make this happen in real life without it seeming really awkward? 00:27:43.289 --> 00:27:45.609 Or is it guaranteed gonna be awkward? 00:27:46.169 --> 00:27:49.289 Well, it's not guaranteed to be awkward, but the vast majority of the time it is. 00:27:50.329 --> 00:27:55.210 Well, and part of that is because of the role reversal. 00:27:55.450 --> 00:27:55.769 Yeah. 00:27:56.009 --> 00:28:00.169 I mean, I say this in my beginner's webinar. 00:28:00.569 --> 00:28:08.250 Most women, unless they have done some kind of strap-on-play before, don't have a clue what it takes to fuck

somebody. 00:28:08.409 --> 00:28:09.929 It's an athletic event. 00:28:10.169 --> 00:28:12.409 You use muscles you never knew you had. 00:28:12.569 --> 00:28:24.169 Yeah, and it'll give you so much of an appreciation for when you get fucked by whatever penis owner is in your life, that it's pretty astonishing. 00:28:24.409 --> 00:28:29.529 But the whole how to move, how to position bodies, that just comes with time. 00:28:30.009 --> 00:28:41.929 So, one of the things I do recommend is that people have a decent uh decent level of communication ease around their sexuality as a couple. 00:28:42.250 --> 00:28:51.849 You don't have to be a full-on couple, you can be friends with benefits or whatever, but it really pays to be able to talk fairly easily about sex, like when it's happening. 00:28:52.250 --> 00:28:58.970 Be able to speak up and say, Okay, slow down because I just have this feeling it'll feel better, or whatever you need to say. 00:28:59.769 --> 00:29:08.089 Because so many, I'm sure you know this, so many people just don't talk in bed ever, ever, yeah, until something goes wrong. 00:29:08.409 --> 00:29:25.529 And you have you have the the possibility, you have right there, all you have to do is communicate to be able to finesse whatever it is you are experiencing with your partner to your satisfaction, you know, you just speak up. 00:29:25.769 --> 00:29:31.609 So usually I say, you know, that is that is one of the ducks in the road that you really need to have is decent communication. 00:29:31.769 --> 00:29:36.649 And if you don't have that easy communication, work on it and then do pegging. 00:29:36.970 --> 00:29:38.490 Yes, yes. 00:29:38.649 --> 00:29:48.490 I so I last month I pegged one of my um favorite friends with benefits who I've you know, who I've been of really good friends with since for like a decade now. 00:29:48.730 --> 00:29:52.329 And um, yes, I pegged him years ago and it was great and it was fun. 00:29:52.569 --> 00:30:01.210 But this time I just I don't know if it was just because we it's so many years later, we're such good friends, and so we communication is just super chill. 00:30:01.369 --> 00:30:03.929 But also I did your course and stuff like that. 00:30:04.169 --> 00:30:10.649 But the it did feel like way easier this time because I was just like, all right, like let's talk about this. 00:30:10.809 --> 00:30:12.169 Like, where do we start? 00:30:12.329 --> 00:30:15.849 Like, what do you you know, what position would you like best? 00:30:16.009 --> 00:30:17.289 Like, what works for you best? 00:30:17.369 --> 00:30:22.409 Do you want to bring your toys that you already use on your ass instead of maybe trying to figure it out, you know? 00:30:22.490 --> 00:30:24.329 Like, yeah, yeah. 00:30:24.649 --> 00:30:34.169 And it it was so much fun, like it was so fucking fun because what I thought that he might like was actually not what he wanted the most. 00:30:34.250 --> 00:30:36.490 So I was like, Interesting, yeah. 00:30:36.649 --> 00:30:44.409 This was just fascinating, but it was just this like really chill fun vibe of like, let's just fuck around like this and have fun. 00:30:45.289 --> 00:30:49.049 And that's the thing, is that assumptions can be made. 00:30:49.210 --> 00:30:50.409 That happens a lot. 00:30:50.649 --> 00:31:01.450 I mean, and and even just well, assumptions like, well, you know, uh assuming that your partner likes it a certain way, or just giving them not enough information. 00:31:01.609 --> 00:31:06.490 Like I get guys that say to their partners, I want you to be more dominant. 00:31:06.730 --> 00:31:10.409 Well, there's like a zillion definitions of what dominant means. 00:31:10.649 --> 00:31:11.049 Yes. 00:31:11.369 --> 00:31:15.929 So you need to be really, really, really clear with your partner and tell them, you know. 00:31:16.089 --> 00:31:34.889 I mean, and away from the bedroom, have a conversation with them and just say, okay, so I have this fantasy, and sometimes I get off to this fantasy, and it's about you just laying on top of me, I'm face down, and you are fucking me, and like I'm imagining that I don't have any choice, and it's it's just the hottest thing. 00:31:35.210 --> 00:31:38.089 So I and and like you're doing it kind of hard. 00:31:38.329 --> 00:31:44.889 That's the level of detail that can be so helpful because otherwise you say, be dominant. 00:31:45.049 --> 00:31:49.929 Well, and then all of a sudden your partner's saying, You're a fucking little little boy or whatever. 00:31:50.250 --> 00:31:56.250 And then they say something they think means that they're dominant, it could be triggering to you, it could be a mess. 00:31:56.809 --> 00:31:58.970 Yes, yes, absolutely. 00:31:59.289 --> 00:32:13.369 Um, so communication, uh I definitely I get what you're saying about that, but it can be really difficult because um this is such a vulnerable activity for both of you, but especially for him. 00:32:13.609 --> 00:32:17.289 Like, I feel like um I don't know. 00:32:17.450 --> 00:32:20.329 For me, I I this is why I love pegging so much. 00:32:20.490 --> 00:32:24.649 Part of the reason why I love it so much is the vulnerability that's involved in it. 00:32:24.809 --> 00:32:28.730 But I also get to see and hear and listen to him moan while he gets fucked. 00:32:28.809 --> 00:32:30.250 Like, this is so hot. 00:32:30.970 --> 00:32:31.769 That's so hot. 00:32:32.250 --> 00:32:35.450 Fuck, like this is this gets me every time. 00:32:35.609 --> 00:32:58.250 Like watching him just like like lose his mind and just like and just moaning and breathing and like all the shit, like fuck yes, but it's so vulnerable, and that's like a space and time where I think a lot of guys are scared of that because that what does that mean about them if they really enjoy it and show you that they enjoy it? 00:32:58.490 --> 00:32:59.529 What are your thoughts on that? 00:32:59.769 --> 00:33:01.529 Oh, there's a lot to unpack there. 00:33:02.970 -->

00:33:19.849 I mean, because of the incredibly strong, strong connotation that persists, despite all my hard work, about sexual orientation having anything to do with male anal penetration. 00:33:20.329 --> 00:33:27.769 I mean, the area of your body that you're having that you enjoy having stimulated has absolutely no bearing on the gender you prefer to do the stimulating. 00:33:28.409 --> 00:33:40.089 So because of that, some guys are scared to show they enjoy it as much as they do because then she'll think I'm gay, then she'll think I'm bi, right? 00:33:41.049 --> 00:33:42.809 And it's just the saddest thing. 00:33:42.889 --> 00:33:48.889 It's like pleasure is pleasure, but that connotation is still really strong in some circles. 00:33:49.049 --> 00:33:57.210 It's getting better, and I think the the younger, um, younger generations are doing a great job in terms of that. 00:33:57.450 --> 00:33:59.450 So I really cheer them on. 00:33:59.769 --> 00:34:03.690 But you know, there's that part of it, but then there's also the vulnerability part. 00:34:03.849 --> 00:34:18.009 Okay, so society's current definition of masculinity embraces a number of characteristics that you're supposed to portray if you were born with a penis to be accepted as masculine, right? 00:34:18.409 --> 00:34:26.569 But actually, where paging is concerned, there's a bunch of characteristics you're expected never to portray. 00:34:26.969 --> 00:34:37.289 And largely they fall into anything that be can be considered gay or feminine, which is really fucked up because that's basically saying that masculine is superior to gay or feminine, which we all know is bullshit. 00:34:37.529 --> 00:34:40.489 But one of those is penetration. 00:34:40.730 --> 00:34:51.289 Um, and you know, the bro dudes joke about it all the time as an insult, you know, getting penetrated is an insult thing, and they so so it's not a one-sided thing. 00:34:51.449 --> 00:34:58.569 Everybody participates in this bad definition of masculinity because it's been around for so long. 00:34:58.969 --> 00:35:11.849 So men are often most often um forbidden to let their vulnerability really show because it's immediately conflated with weakness, immediately. 00:35:12.489 --> 00:35:45.690 And you know, okay, if if if you're using the word vulnerability in a military sense, it's a weakness, absolutely it is, but it's not a weakness with people, with interpersonal communications, because then it's about a risk, about you know, opening yourself up, being open and honest about your emotions with another person, being willing to have those emotions, which, if you have been trained since young boyhood never to do that, can be really uncomfortable and difficult to do. 00:35:46.169 --> 00:35:52.089 Number one, but also it can be taken wrong because, like I say, women participate too. 00:35:52.329 --> 00:35:58.809 It is not unusual for a woman to see a man vulnerable if she's never seen him vulnerable and go, oh, weak, uh, right? 00:35:58.969 --> 00:35:59.289 Yep. 00:35:59.529 --> 00:36:09.129 And that's the saddest thing because basically there's this really tender, amazing inside part in men that they don't get to let out. 00:36:09.289 --> 00:36:12.489 Okay, so now how does that how does that connect with pegging? 00:36:12.809 --> 00:36:19.849 So, in my opinion, um pleasurable anal penetration requires vulnerability. 00:36:20.409 --> 00:36:22.170 That's my opinion. 00:36:22.570 --> 00:36:29.049 So if it's not, if it's if it's not vul if it doesn't have vulnerability, it's not pleasurable. 00:36:29.449 --> 00:36:39.849 Well, I don't know if I would go that far because I as a sex educator for 16 years, absolutes, you know, I just I discard those offhand. 00:36:40.570 --> 00:36:52.730 But I think that the I think that oftentimes guys, when they first start experiencing pegging, slip into the vulnerability sort of, it's a surprise to them. 00:36:52.889 --> 00:36:57.289 Um and sometimes it can feel very, very uncomfortable. 00:36:57.529 --> 00:36:57.849 Okay. 00:36:58.250 --> 00:37:03.289 Because they're so unused to allowing that part of themselves to open. 00:37:03.449 --> 00:37:30.889 And at this juncture, I really want to say something because it's like if you're listening and you are a woman who is planning on doing this with a guy, there is no greater gift that you can give to a partner than to allow that to happen in a safe and non-jubjudgmental space, to just be there and let that happen and never never give them shit about, yeah, you were like you had tears and blah, blah, blah. 00:37:30.969 --> 00:37:32.329 Because sometimes that can happen. 00:37:32.809 --> 00:37:34.730 Absolutely that can happen sometimes. 00:37:34.969 --> 00:37:44.489 And uh to not judge and to hold space for that is such it's a it's a bigger gift than you can imagine. 00:37:44.809 --> 00:37:52.809 Because some guys are trying to work themselves out of all of these stupid rules in the masculinity box, and they need support. 00:37:52.969 --> 00:37:53.130 Yeah. 00:37:53.369 --> 00:37:58.090 And so we need to reshape our ideas about what masculinity means too. 00:37:58.730 --> 00:38:01.130 My God, I love that so much. 00:38:01.289 --> 00:38:02.409 I agree 100%. 00:38:03.210 --> 00:38:10.250 And as women, as partners, we have the responsibility to support um these people who we care about. 00:38:10.409 --> 00:38:12.170 These are people who we care dearly about. 00:38:12.250 --> 00:38:19.369 And if you really care dearly about them, you want them to go through this personal growth because that's what we're talking about. 00:38:19.610 --> 00:38:29.690 It's about growing, it's about understanding your feelings, it's about sharing those feelings in a safe space and learning to process all of that in a healthy way. 00:38:29.929 --> 00:38:33.210 And rigid masculinity is a fucking prison. 00:38:33.289 --> 00:38:36.650 And and we're here to help men break free. 00:38:36.809 --> 00:38:37.769 Like I am.

00:38:38.009 --> 00:38:38.969 I want to see that. 00:38:39.130 --> 00:38:42.009 This is why I fucking love cuckolding. 00:38:42.090 --> 00:38:45.449 This is why I love pegging because I'm just like, oh my God. 00:38:45.769 --> 00:38:49.210 I want to see men fucking thrive in this. 00:38:49.369 --> 00:38:51.049 Like, I this is about your pleasure. 00:38:51.130 --> 00:38:55.369 This is about pleasure you probably don't even know fucking exists yet if you've never done it. 00:38:55.529 --> 00:39:00.250 Like, this is about you fucking just reaching new heights in your life. 00:39:00.409 --> 00:39:02.650 Like, of course, I want you, I want that for you. 00:39:02.809 --> 00:39:06.250 For us, like, oh fuck yes, I'm just like a big fan. 00:39:06.570 --> 00:39:17.369 Yeah, it allows men to be whole human beings because society's rules about masculinity forces them to hide a lot of themselves, yeah. 00:39:17.529 --> 00:39:21.610 And then we wonder why men die sooner, you know? 00:39:21.849 --> 00:39:26.409 Yeah, I mean, I know it's not that simple, but in some ways it is. 00:39:26.969 --> 00:39:33.049 Um, which is why I raise money every year for the Movember Foundation. 00:39:33.289 --> 00:39:35.369 They're doing some really good work. 00:39:35.529 --> 00:39:40.489 They initially started as an organization trying to raise awareness of testicular and prostate cancer. 00:39:40.570 --> 00:39:41.289 Yeah, bitching. 00:39:41.449 --> 00:39:41.690 Okay. 00:39:41.849 --> 00:39:48.250 And then they started expanding into suicide prevention and men's mental health. 00:39:48.969 --> 00:39:52.489 It's amazing the resources that they have on their website. 00:39:52.650 --> 00:40:05.449 They have like sample conversations of how to talk to your bro dude, make sure they're okay, encouraging communication between guys, encouraging them to take care of their health as opposed to tough it out, right? 00:40:06.250 --> 00:40:08.650 It there's there's so much good stuff there. 00:40:08.809 --> 00:40:10.570 I raise money for them every year. 00:40:10.730 --> 00:40:23.449 And I don't know how many of your listeners know that I do this, but so I set a goal, okay, and I raise money, and people send me donations, and then at a certain point I go, okay, if you can get me up to this number, right? 00:40:23.690 --> 00:40:25.049 And it's been raising every year. 00:40:25.130 --> 00:40:27.130 Thank you, thank you, all these donator people. 00:40:27.610 --> 00:40:30.570 Um, I will put pictures of my tits on the internet. 00:40:32.650 --> 00:40:34.090 That always does it. 00:40:34.250 --> 00:40:38.170 And you know, I've gained weight, so now they're bigger and they're more impressive. 00:40:40.250 --> 00:40:42.409 They're bouncy castle level. 00:40:42.730 --> 00:40:45.130 I heard that yesterday and I was like, oh, I love that. 00:40:45.529 --> 00:40:46.969 Bouncy castle level. 00:40:47.049 --> 00:40:47.769 That's a good one. 00:40:47.929 --> 00:40:48.570 Yeah. 00:40:50.329 --> 00:40:51.769 Oh, that's fucking wonderful. 00:40:51.849 --> 00:41:02.650 Yeah, I've actually seen on social media these um groups all over the world that are forming for men to do just that, to help to talk to each other, to support each other. 00:41:03.049 --> 00:41:06.170 Yes, and to connect with each other, to share feelings with each other. 00:41:06.329 --> 00:41:08.489 And I'm like, oh my God, more of this fucking bleed. 00:41:08.809 --> 00:41:09.449 It's happening, I know. 00:41:09.690 --> 00:41:13.130 Yes, Hot Boys Cry is one that pops up all the time for me. 00:41:13.529 --> 00:41:15.049 And I love this group. 00:41:15.210 --> 00:41:26.329 Uh, they go and do like the most amazing things together, and they've got these shirts say hot boys cry, like it's like, and it says something like, like, um, it's time for therapy, bitches, or something like that. 00:41:26.489 --> 00:41:27.449 Like, it's so awesome. 00:41:27.529 --> 00:41:28.730 I love their show. 00:41:29.610 --> 00:41:31.130 Like, I love seeing that. 00:41:31.289 --> 00:41:32.250 I think that's fantastic. 00:41:32.409 --> 00:41:59.369 But I do think that as a partner, as a spouse, as a um, even just like a sex partner with a trusted person, like you do have as women for sure, we have that responsibility to really encourage and support and um help men to kind of like work through all of this and be and be the whole person like you're talking about in a fucking human experience and yeah, not be limited. 00:41:59.690 --> 00:42:09.049 Well, I think that supporting them and helping and guiding them through, because we're kind of, you know, we've been given carte blanche with our emotions forever. 00:42:09.849 --> 00:42:42.090 And um that is part of it, but kind of also going back and taking a good long look at our core beliefs about what men should be, I think is so important because there's kind of a backlash about, okay, so you know, clearly we know this toxic masculinity stuff exists, and we would, you know, so there's a fair number of women out there that I see kind of going, you know, so go do your therapy, do your shit, fix yourself, right? 00:42:42.250 --> 00:42:42.409 Right. 00:42:42.650 --> 00:42:44.409 Oh, I urge compassion. 00:42:44.730 --> 00:43:00.329 I urge compassion because we were not trained since young boyhood to be in a box, you know, to to it's like, and and the thing that breaks my heart too is is here's one of the things I think is the most harmful. 00:43:01.610 --> 00:43:11.610 Young boys get all kinds of tender, loving, non-sexual touch as infants, as toddlers, until they get to young boyhood, and then it is ripped away from them. 00:43:11.849 --> 00:43:13.610 It is no longer okay. 00:43:13.849 --> 00:43:16.650 No, you don't want to be a sissy boy and go cuddle with your mom. 00:43:16.730 --> 00:43:17.849 You know, you're 13. 00:43:18.009 --> 00:43:18.969 What the hell? 00:43:19.210 --> 00:43:40.969 It's the saddest thing, and so men oftentimes grow up so

touch-starved, and you know, a little bit of a diversion here, but I recently realized through a conversation I had with a guy, I'm I'm on a website that has all kinds of different kinky stuff, and so there's lots of different titles for the kinks you have, you know. 00:43:41.369 --> 00:43:47.210 Dominus central sadist is how I um identify, but one of them is called mommy dom. 00:43:47.769 --> 00:43:51.929 I have always had a knee-jerk reaction to that, always a bad one. 00:43:52.250 --> 00:43:55.049 Because don't fucking call me mommy, man. 00:43:55.289 --> 00:43:58.090 It's like, no, I am not your mother. 00:43:58.250 --> 00:44:00.250 I don't get off on incest fantasies. 00:44:00.650 --> 00:44:17.690 But this guy explained to me that he thought it was given a bad rap because just like the word dominant has a zillion different definitions, there are different definitions of this, and that's how I think labels work is it gives you an idea of what's going on, and then you need to get curious and start asking questions. 00:44:17.929 --> 00:44:18.170 Okay. 00:44:18.329 --> 00:44:33.690 He said he thinks a lot of these guys just are seeking that tender, loving nurturing that they didn't get from young boyhood, and that it's kind of supposedly sort of not appropriate to ask for as adult men. 00:44:34.409 --> 00:44:42.889 And who doesn't like being held in someone's arms and being safe and you know, cuddled and that kind of thing? 00:44:43.130 --> 00:44:51.210 And even like I remember, I was gonna say, against some wonderful uh um jumpy castle breasts, that's it. 00:44:52.650 --> 00:44:53.929 Bouncy castle. 00:44:54.250 --> 00:44:56.090 Bouncy castle, that's it. 00:44:56.809 --> 00:45:02.090 And you know, like as a child, you know, that was just the most amazing feeling. 00:45:02.329 --> 00:45:09.289 And he thinks a lot of it is that, that it has nothing to do with like like mommy or incest or anything like that. 00:45:09.529 --> 00:45:12.969 So I wrote an article about it and I reevaluated my knee-jerk. 00:45:13.049 --> 00:45:18.489 And so now when someone says, Yeah, I'm into the whole mommy dom thing, I'm like, okay, talk to me about what that means. 00:45:19.049 --> 00:45:21.849 Because I I have nurturing at my core, goodness. 00:45:21.929 --> 00:45:24.809 I did massage for 31 years before I retired. 00:45:25.210 --> 00:45:30.489 And yeah, I just like to help people, to nurture them, to make them feel good. 00:45:30.650 --> 00:45:33.929 I also like to hurt them, but only if they like to be hurt. 00:45:34.889 --> 00:45:37.769 And you don't hurt people during pegging. 00:45:38.009 --> 00:45:41.849 Okay, okay, okay, meaning the pegging doesn't hurt people. 00:45:42.090 --> 00:45:42.250 Right. 00:45:42.329 --> 00:45:43.769 Yeah, I was just gonna say. 00:45:44.409 --> 00:45:44.730 Yeah. 00:45:44.969 --> 00:45:45.210 Okay. 00:45:45.369 --> 00:45:53.210 I want to talk to you about this because um I know we touched upon this in the last episode, but I didn't go we didn't go into depth about it. 00:45:53.289 --> 00:46:01.049 But you were talking about how you like to do you, I you mentioned something about dirty talks and dirty talk during pegging. 00:46:01.210 --> 00:46:02.409 And I was like, ooh, okay. 00:46:03.049 --> 00:46:05.369 Now, I really want to jump into that a little bit more. 00:46:05.529 --> 00:46:07.130 Like, what does that look like for you? 00:46:07.289 --> 00:46:08.489 Can you give me some examples? 00:46:08.650 --> 00:46:10.489 Like, I need some inspiration, girl. 00:46:10.809 --> 00:46:20.409 Well, you it dirty talk, most of the time, when you first start getting into it, it's a whole lot more uncomfortable because it's like, I don't know what the fuck to say. 00:46:20.650 --> 00:46:21.610 All right, all right. 00:46:21.849 --> 00:46:25.049 So just describe what's happening. 00:46:25.610 --> 00:46:26.889 Okay, okay. 00:46:27.210 --> 00:46:30.650 Look at this big toy sinking deep into your ass. 00:46:31.130 --> 00:46:32.009 Oh, that's easy. 00:46:32.170 --> 00:46:33.210 Yes, we could do that. 00:46:33.449 --> 00:46:34.570 Yes, yes, yes. 00:46:34.809 --> 00:46:35.130 Okay. 00:46:36.009 --> 00:46:38.409 Your moans are so hot, you know. 00:46:38.570 --> 00:46:39.130 Oh, I think that's a good idea. 00:46:39.369 --> 00:46:41.769 Just be a narrator, you know? 00:46:42.090 --> 00:46:42.409 Okay. 00:46:42.570 --> 00:46:42.809 Okay. 00:46:43.449 --> 00:46:44.329 You can totally do that. 00:46:45.130 --> 00:46:45.369 Okay. 00:46:45.529 --> 00:46:48.329 And then what if you wanted to ramp it up a little bit? 00:46:48.969 --> 00:46:53.369 Well, then what it then it pays to know the kinks of your partner. 00:46:53.610 --> 00:46:59.849 Like if they like being called boy, or they like being called slut, or all kinds of different things. 00:47:00.009 --> 00:47:12.809 If you know some hot button things for them that are the things that that uh really flip their switch, frost their cake, whatever you however you want to say it, you can kind of include that in there. 00:47:13.130 --> 00:47:14.889 Look at you take this big toy. 00:47:14.969 --> 00:47:17.289 You're such a slut, you know. 00:47:17.769 --> 00:47:21.130 But they have to want to, you know, do the slut thing. 00:47:21.449 --> 00:47:21.849 Right. 00:47:22.170 --> 00:47:23.690 Or you're such a good boy. 00:47:23.849 --> 00:47:25.369 Look at you take this. 00:47:25.610 --> 00:47:26.170 Yeah. 00:47:26.409 --> 00:47:29.449 Oh next time, and then you can get a little fear in there too. 00:47:29.529 --> 00:47:31.610 It's like next time we're gonna go even bigger. 00:47:33.690 --> 00:47:35.769 Yeah, you could do all kinds of stuff. 00:47:36.009 --> 00:47:43.369 So, so with me, it's like a little mental thing of of fear, you know, a little bit of fear because fear can be excitement too. 00:47:43.610 --> 00:47:44.170 Yeah. 00:47:44.809 --> 00:47:46.489 Oh my god, yes. 00:47:47.369 --> 00:47:56.969 Yeah, because like last month when we did this

pegging, um, me and my friend, like there was a lot of dirty talk involved, but it just sort of like just was like that. 00:47:57.130 --> 00:48:03.529 We didn't really talk about it before, but I I like I know him really well, so I know he likes he likes some of this stuff. 00:48:03.769 --> 00:48:07.369 Yeah, but it was so fun in the moment because he was just dying. 00:48:07.529 --> 00:48:08.570 He just loved it. 00:48:09.369 --> 00:48:09.929 Mm-hmm. 00:48:10.650 --> 00:48:13.690 But I have to agree with you what you said before about the moans. 00:48:14.009 --> 00:48:24.009 There are noises that uh guys make when you're fucking them that they don't make any other way, any other way. 00:48:24.250 --> 00:48:28.889 And sometimes they're not even aware that they're making those noises. 00:48:29.769 --> 00:48:30.170 You know? 00:48:30.409 --> 00:48:37.210 So if, like, you did a uh an audio recording, consent, of course, um, you know, in play tune, they're like, oh my god. 00:48:37.529 --> 00:48:37.769 Yeah. 00:48:37.849 --> 00:48:43.289 Oh sometimes they're blown away because it's like it they it it just comes out of them. 00:48:43.449 --> 00:48:46.650 There's some way in which it touches the core part. 00:48:46.969 --> 00:48:55.610 I think I guess that's that's what I've come to believe is that um there's that vagus nerve stuff that happens, and I talk about that in the advanced class. 00:48:55.849 --> 00:49:03.690 The vagus nerve is is uh part of I think what gives it um such a good feeling. 00:49:03.769 --> 00:49:07.849 The prostate, certainly, but the vagus nerve stimulation is kind of magical too. 00:49:08.009 --> 00:49:09.929 I teach all about that in the advanced class. 00:49:10.170 --> 00:49:31.210 The advanced webinar is I dive a little deeper into orgasms for both givers and receivers because sure it depends a lot on equipment, but there's other factors too because of the role reversal, and there's other tricks and things that you can do to try and encourage orgasms on both sides of the pegging equation. 00:49:31.289 --> 00:49:37.929 And also I I dive into hands-free orgasms and prostate orgasms, two different things. 00:49:38.170 --> 00:49:45.529 So many people think that if you're pegged well enough, hard enough, whatever, good enough, that you will have a hands-free orgasm. 00:49:45.849 --> 00:49:57.449 Yeah, that's possible, but most people don't understand that a prostate orgasm is completely different than a regular coc-centric orgasm for lack of a better term. 00:49:57.610 --> 00:50:00.409 You know, it's not a coc-centric spasming orgasm. 00:50:00.570 --> 00:50:02.889 Can that happen while you're pegging your partner? 00:50:02.969 --> 00:50:05.289 Yeah, that can, but that is not a prostate orgasm. 00:50:05.529 --> 00:50:05.849 Oh. 00:50:06.489 --> 00:50:09.210 Prostate orgasm happens deeper in the pelvis. 00:50:10.170 --> 00:50:19.529 It uh it's a wider area, it is more subtle, it's sort of like a warmth and tingling, and it's like

these waves of euphoria. 00:50:19.690 --> 00:50:21.369 And there is no refractory period. 00:50:21.449 --> 00:50:23.610 Yay! Multiples. 00:50:26.170 --> 00:50:26.809 Wow. 00:50:27.210 --> 00:50:30.489 I'm sure people are listening right now going like, wow. 00:50:30.730 --> 00:50:36.570 And not every guy can do it, just like not every woman can orgasm from penetration alone, you know. 00:50:36.809 --> 00:50:38.329 But hey, enjoy the journey. 00:50:38.409 --> 00:50:40.730 Don't get fixated on the destination. 00:50:41.049 --> 00:50:41.289 Yeah. 00:50:41.610 --> 00:50:42.329 That's what I always say. 00:50:42.489 --> 00:51:00.329 Yeah, I want to ask about that because like I think for for most guys that I've nearly all guys I've met, not all of them, but nearly, um, really fixated on orgasm uh ejaculation equals the, you know, the that's the finish line for sex, that's the goal. 00:51:00.570 --> 00:51:07.769 Um but with with asplay, with pegging, it's not, it's not, right? 00:51:07.929 --> 00:51:10.250 It's not necessarily, is it is it? 00:51:10.409 --> 00:51:12.730 Is it just like if it happens, great. 00:51:12.889 --> 00:51:14.889 If not, it's just fun to do. 00:51:16.409 --> 00:51:25.929 Well, most men see uh as you in intimated, see sex as you know, the orgasm is a thing. 00:51:26.090 --> 00:51:27.210 That's the whole point, right? 00:51:27.369 --> 00:51:33.130 Yeah, and they are kind of trained to look at sex that way. 00:51:33.849 --> 00:51:36.889 Uh so pegging can be very different. 00:51:37.690 --> 00:51:40.650 You can you cannot have it. 00:51:40.809 --> 00:51:54.570 I've had partners who they've tried to like older gentlemen, try to reach an orgasm after they've had enough pegging, so to speak, can't get there and say, you know what, I don't care. 00:51:54.809 --> 00:51:56.170 You know, this was so amazing. 00:51:56.329 --> 00:51:56.489 Yeah. 00:51:56.730 --> 00:52:09.210 So in a way, it it's like it's so fulfilling to have that sensation and to have somebody fucking you from their perspective that they don't care, they don't need an orgasm. 00:52:09.449 --> 00:52:09.769 Okay. 00:52:10.409 --> 00:52:15.849 Sometimes uh this happens more of the time. 00:52:16.009 --> 00:52:17.769 This is like the majority, right? 00:52:19.130 --> 00:52:31.769 First of all, it's good to understand that uh when you get prostate stimulation, which is what happens when you are fucking somebody, um, it temporarily compromises the ability to have an erection for a lot of guys. 00:52:32.009 --> 00:52:32.329 Okay. 00:52:32.730 --> 00:52:38.009 So it that's really important for guys to know because it's like, oh my god, you broke my dick. 00:52:38.090 --> 00:52:45.449 I mean, if it's a guy who's never had a problem having an erection in his entire life, and all of a sudden it's like, it's not working, right? 00:52:45.849 --> 00:52:46.730 It's really okay. 00:52:46.889 --> 00:52:48.409 We did not break your dick. 00:52:48.730 --> 00:52:59.610 So sometimes you have to pause the action for a little bit, coax the the cock into like a partial erection, and then oftentimes you can have an orgasm, sometimes you have to pull out all the way, you know. 00:52:59.929 --> 00:53:07.610 Okay, this makes a lot of sense because I feel like there's just a lot going on in the back door, and then stuff's not blood's not flowing to the front. 00:53:07.929 --> 00:53:08.730 Like it just makes sense. 00:53:09.049 --> 00:53:21.130 You know, and I don't know if it's blood or not, but I do know that a lot of guys say um, while they're getting fucked, they really don't want anything playing with their dick. 00:53:21.769 --> 00:53:31.929 Because the sensations of prostate stimulation are more subtle, and they kind of get in this space where they sink into it and concentrate on it and focus on it. 00:53:32.170 --> 00:53:36.009 And as soon as you start playing with the cock, boom, tension's right over there. 00:53:36.250 --> 00:53:44.170 Somebody said at one point in time, well, yeah, because I mean uh it it's like all the blood's in the prostate, and then when you start playing with the cock, it all goes with the cock. 00:53:44.570 --> 00:53:46.489 I don't think physiologically that's what happens. 00:53:46.650 --> 00:53:52.090 Okay, but certainly focus, it absolutely does happen. 00:53:52.570 --> 00:53:54.409 Oh, this is fascinating. 00:53:54.650 --> 00:53:55.369 Oh my goodness. 00:53:55.529 --> 00:53:56.969 See, I'm still learning. 00:53:58.250 --> 00:54:01.690 And I just geek out about this stuff. 00:54:02.170 --> 00:54:03.049 Can you tell? 00:54:03.369 --> 00:54:04.489 I know, I love it. 00:54:04.570 --> 00:54:10.409 It is so funny because I mentioned this on the show in the four years ago when you were on, but I was like, I never thought I would like pegging. 00:54:10.489 --> 00:54:11.929 I had no interest in it. 00:54:12.170 --> 00:54:15.130 All I knew was the domination factor. 00:54:15.289 --> 00:54:17.610 I and I didn't know anything else about that. 00:54:17.690 --> 00:54:26.329 And for that, and just that that image in my mind of the dominatrix in the leather outfit, like just pegging this guy, and like that was it. 00:54:26.489 --> 00:54:27.690 That's that's all I thought. 00:54:27.849 --> 00:54:28.489 That's all I knew. 00:54:28.570 --> 00:54:30.969 And I was just like, nah, I think I'll pass on that. 00:54:31.210 --> 00:54:36.889 I am so glad that I didn't keep in that frame of mind. 00:54:36.969 --> 00:54:40.170 I'm so glad I broke out of that and just like, you know what, there's more to this. 00:54:40.250 --> 00:54:45.449 Like, I feel like maybe I do, and then I just fucking tried it one night, but and loved it ever since. 00:54:45.610 --> 00:54:48.570 But I'm so glad because I would be missing out on all of this. 00:54:48.730 --> 00:54:51.049 Like, this is fascinating the more I learn about it. 00:54:51.130 --> 00:54:52.170 This is so cool. 00:54:52.409 --> 00:54:58.409 Um, I I've had this question from many people

over the years that have been saving this question for you. 00:54:58.570 --> 00:55:08.009 Um, is there like for the guys who are like, I really want to get pegged, but I also want her to feel like pleasure at the same time, stimulation at the same time. 00:55:08.090 --> 00:55:16.650 Is there like some sort of harness that will like go in her or on her clit or some do something for her while she's pegging the guy? 00:55:17.049 --> 00:55:23.049 Yeah, and so if the visual on this lovely interview turns out, I apologize for the eye roll. 00:55:24.409 --> 00:55:28.329 Um, and and the only reason is not because it's a dumb question, it's not at all. 00:55:28.570 --> 00:55:31.610 And kudos to you for being concerned about your partner's pleasure. 00:55:31.690 --> 00:55:32.889 It's awesome, right? 00:55:33.769 --> 00:55:37.369 It was it's because I hear it all the time, all the time, all the time. 00:55:37.929 --> 00:55:44.570 Um, and uh yes, there is absolutely equipment that can give your partner more pleasure. 00:55:44.809 --> 00:55:58.969 Um the trick is to determine what type and location of stimulation is your partner's most favorite, and then find the equipment that provides that. 00:55:59.210 --> 00:56:01.849 It's not a, oh yes, this toy, binga binga. 00:56:02.090 --> 00:56:02.409 Mm-mm. 00:56:02.969 --> 00:56:06.409 Which is why my equipment webinar is also two hours. 00:56:06.570 --> 00:56:06.809 Yeah. 00:56:07.049 --> 00:56:11.049 And and I always go over time on that one because there's so much equipment out there. 00:56:11.289 --> 00:56:15.049 And it really depends because I can say, oh, this this like it. 00:56:15.210 --> 00:56:17.849 I have used the words for one of the toys that I recommend. 00:56:17.929 --> 00:56:24.730 It's a game changer, but it's only a game changer if you like vibrations and you like something inside you as well. 00:56:24.969 --> 00:56:27.210 So, you know, not everybody's the same. 00:56:27.289 --> 00:56:35.769 It's very, very individual, just like it's very, very individual what toy goes inside a guy's ass and what they prefer. 00:56:35.849 --> 00:56:38.489 There's different levels of prostate sensitivity. 00:56:38.730 --> 00:56:47.289 And so the whole thing about prostate sensitivity, I get guys, I I'm I'm a mod on one of the pegging subreddits on Reddit. 00:56:47.849 --> 00:56:54.489 And I get guys that come in and say, So I've heard that a curved dildo gives you more prostate stimulation. 00:56:54.650 --> 00:56:55.289 Is that true? 00:56:55.529 --> 00:56:59.289 Yeah, it is, and it could be perfectly the wrong thing for your particular prostate. 00:56:59.610 --> 00:56:59.849 Okay. 00:57:00.090 --> 00:57:01.929 So it's just really individual. 00:57:02.650 --> 00:57:08.250 Oh, and I bet they hate hearing that because then they're like, oh my gosh, I just want to know the answer to the best thing ever. 00:57:08.409 --> 00:57:09.690 Like, right, yeah. 00:57:09.769 --> 00:57:18.570 And and also, um, you know, if you're

a guy and you're asking that question, bring your partner into the decision making, please. 00:57:19.049 --> 00:57:28.409 Don't just go out and get something, because there's so many different parts of the selection process that they really need to be a part of. 00:57:28.730 --> 00:57:30.409 The look of it's really important. 00:57:30.889 --> 00:57:45.210 I mean, okay, there's no denying that the effort-reward ratio generally favors the receiver, and this is probably why um pegging is not like a Tinder hookup thing. 00:57:45.929 --> 00:57:56.489 It's I'm not saying it's never happened on Tinder, of course it has at some point, but there's some kind of connection, some kind of relationship usually needs to exist. 00:57:56.650 --> 00:58:04.969 In other words, what I'm saying is women are happy to fuck people they care about, uh, that they love, whatever. 00:58:05.210 --> 00:58:07.210 But they're not happy to fuck strangers. 00:58:08.009 --> 00:58:08.570 Yeah. 00:58:09.130 --> 00:58:09.529 True. 00:58:09.849 --> 00:58:15.690 So and and I'm again, generalizations, but that is true the vast majority of time. 00:58:16.090 --> 00:58:16.329 Yeah. 00:58:16.570 --> 00:58:17.690 Yeah, I agree with that. 00:58:17.849 --> 00:58:28.889 Um, okay, last question that I have uh that I don't think we talked about last time, but um I have been asked about since that show, uh, is aftercare. 00:58:29.289 --> 00:58:36.730 I know you just talked about like it's important to know the person and care about this person and have some sort of relationship with this person. 00:58:37.049 --> 00:58:50.170 Um but i is there with pegging, and I know you have a shit ton of experience in this, um, is there some type of aftercare that's most often needed or required? 00:58:50.250 --> 00:58:51.769 And what does that look like? 00:58:54.170 --> 00:59:00.009 I'm so glad you brought this up because um it can go both ways. 00:59:00.409 --> 00:59:10.090 So the experience of the intense vulnerability can be kind of overwhelming. 00:59:10.329 --> 00:59:20.090 Penetration can be overwhelming sometimes, especially anal penetration, because that is such a vulnerable and sort of potentially anxiety-producing act, right? 00:59:20.250 --> 00:59:21.769 It's being penetrated anally. 00:59:21.849 --> 00:59:22.809 It's like, whoa. 00:59:23.210 --> 00:59:28.009 Um, so that vulnerability, it can be really overwhelming sometimes. 00:59:28.250 --> 00:59:40.650 So aftercare can definitely be needed, but then we run into the whole masculinity thing about guys are not good at asking to be held, guys are sometimes even uncomfortable being held. 00:59:40.809 --> 00:59:41.130 Right. 00:59:41.369 --> 00:59:58.009 But in my opinion, it brings things to this beautiful closing circle because if you've ever had a craving to just be held and then you don't get it because you don't voice it, or maybe the person won't give it, it feels awful. 00:59:58.170 --> 01:00:03.769 So if you're the receiver, if you're the guy and you're able to open up your mouth and ask for it, awesome. 01:00:04.090 --> 01:00:11.610 Now, from the woman's point of view, to know that this might be needed afterwards is a wonderful thing. 01:00:11.769 --> 01:00:13.130 So you can also offer it. 01:00:13.210 --> 01:00:18.170 And I never mean to put all the responsibility for the women on, you need to take care of this person. 01:00:18.489 --> 01:00:24.889 I mean, it is it's different than like a dominant submissive because as a dominant, you are responsible for that person. 01:00:25.049 --> 01:00:27.449 This is more of a you're doing this together, right? 01:00:27.690 --> 01:00:29.849 Unless you're doing it in a dob subway. 01:00:30.090 --> 01:00:33.690 And and it would be great if you could offer that as well. 01:00:34.170 --> 01:00:40.809 I mean, even guys are sometimes uncomfortable being the little spoon, and I'm like, oh my God, let it go. 01:00:41.289 --> 01:00:41.929 Let it go. 01:00:42.090 --> 01:00:43.289 It's really okay. 01:00:43.529 --> 01:00:52.489 So there's that situation, and yes, getting a wonderful cuddle and being held and and the head against the jumpy boobs. 01:00:52.650 --> 01:00:53.690 I'm not gonna get it right. 01:00:53.769 --> 01:00:54.409 I'm not gonna get it. 01:00:54.730 --> 01:00:55.849 Bouncy castle boobs. 01:00:56.009 --> 01:00:56.570 Thank you. 01:00:56.889 --> 01:01:00.650 Keep saying jumpy, can be amazing. 01:01:01.049 --> 01:01:02.809 Here's the other side of it. 01:01:03.049 --> 01:01:12.009 Um, just like I consider myself foundationally dominant, there are also women who consider themselves foundationally submissive. 01:01:12.250 --> 01:01:17.690 You may not run into as many of them in your work, but they're out there. 01:01:17.849 --> 01:01:23.449 And so pegging for them, just real quickly, can twist their head around. 01:01:23.529 --> 01:01:28.329 They don't want to be in control, they don't want to be the person who's running the fuck, that kind of thing, right? 01:01:28.489 --> 01:01:28.650 Yeah. 01:01:28.889 --> 01:01:32.489 So it can put their head in a twist, and they may need aftercare too. 01:01:32.730 --> 01:01:33.049 Okay. 01:01:33.289 --> 01:01:35.049 Just a quick note about that. 01:01:35.369 --> 01:01:36.009 Right. 01:01:36.570 --> 01:01:37.049 Yeah. 01:01:37.289 --> 01:01:37.610 Okay. 01:01:37.769 --> 01:01:39.529 This makes a lot of sense to me. 01:01:39.690 --> 01:01:43.449 Um, Ruby, this has been such a fucking great conversation. 01:01:43.610 --> 01:01:49.369 Like you're one of my favorite guests for sure, because like I learned so much, and I know everybody who's listening is gonna learn. 01:01:49.449 --> 01:01:56.570 And I really, really hope that everybody does go and and at least like check out your live webinars that you do. 01:01:56.650 --> 01:01:58.969 You there's no fee, no charge to do that. 01:01:59.210 --> 01:02:04.090 But for sure, if you are interested in learning all about this, like get buy those those courses.

01:02:04.250 --> 01:02:06.009 They're so fucking well worth it. 01:02:06.250 --> 01:02:11.289 Where can people learn more about you access all of these things? 01:02:12.250 --> 01:02:23.449 Although I have already mentioned my my uh website, peggingparadise.com, because of a lot of reasons that have to do with the difficulty of being a sex educator, which I'm sure you're familiar with. 01:02:23.769 --> 01:02:24.250 Yes. 01:02:24.570 --> 01:02:30.489 My educational foundational website right now is theartofegging.com. 01:02:30.969 --> 01:02:39.049 And there you can find all of my upcoming events because I do have those free webinars, the three that I teach, but I also do what I call office hours. 01:02:39.210 --> 01:02:45.210 And those are kind of random weeknight things, usually five or six o'clock California time in the evening. 01:02:45.449 --> 01:02:55.690 And that's when you can show up, ask any questions that you have about pegging whatsoever, and even adjacent kinks, because if I don't know the answer, I probably know a sex educator who does. 01:02:55.929 --> 01:03:00.170 So those are available and you can register for any of those events there. 01:03:00.489 --> 01:03:03.529 Um, also, I've done over 300 podcasts. 01:03:03.769 --> 01:03:05.210 I'm not doing podcasts now. 01:03:05.289 --> 01:03:12.250 I don't know if I'll ever go back to them, but uh they're all downloadable there from theartofpegging.com. 01:03:13.369 --> 01:03:13.769 Amazing. 01:03:14.090 --> 01:03:25.529 One of the things that I'm going to give you for your show notes is um I had to be careful about this because of that stupid sex education censorship thing that I just alluded to. 01:03:25.769 --> 01:03:26.969 I write erotica. 01:03:27.049 --> 01:03:29.210 I've written over 75 erotic pegging stories. 01:03:29.289 --> 01:03:34.409 I do have a section of them that are free stories because the others are for my patrons. 01:03:34.570 --> 01:03:37.690 There's also a patron thing on the art of pegging as well. 01:03:37.929 --> 01:03:38.250 Okay. 01:03:38.489 --> 01:03:42.009 Because Patreon had the censorship Hamryfall as well. 01:03:42.329 --> 01:03:43.289 Oh, I went through that. 01:03:43.369 --> 01:03:43.690 Yes. 01:03:43.929 --> 01:03:46.809 Yeah, six six years ago, yeah, or maybe seven or eight now. 01:03:46.969 --> 01:03:50.489 Anyway, the I have a collection of free stories, so I'm going to give you that link. 01:03:50.570 --> 01:03:53.369 It's hidden on theartofpegging.com because I had it. 01:03:53.529 --> 01:03:57.449 I had it as a tab, and then Stripe said, Yeah, you're gone. 01:03:57.690 --> 01:03:58.009 Yeah. 01:03:58.730 --> 01:04:03.289 So I had to reapply for Stripe under a different email. 01:04:04.570 --> 01:04:07.929 And then they said, Okay, what what are you exactly selling? 01:04:08.409 --> 01:04:13.929 I said, I'm selling consultations to help people enjoy and find more pleasure in their life. 01:04:14.170 --> 01:04:15.769 And they went for it. 01:04:16.809 --> 01:04:20.409 But no, don't ever use the word erotica on your website if you sell things. 01:04:20.570 --> 01:04:21.289 Oh my God. 01:04:21.529 --> 01:04:22.170 Oh, I know. 01:04:22.329 --> 01:04:25.289 The rules around all of this are just fucking crazy. 01:04:25.690 --> 01:04:26.329 It's not so. 01:04:26.489 --> 01:04:27.690 It's totally not so. 01:04:28.009 --> 01:04:31.610 Okay, so I will have links to those in the show notes for today. 01:04:31.849 --> 01:04:50.809 And um, and I like I said, I just hope everybody listening reaches out, connects with you uh for some some one of these resources, whether it be your erotica, whether it be your courses, um, any of the all of that, and to uh support your charity for Movember. 01:04:51.130 --> 01:04:52.329 Movember, it's coming up. 01:04:52.489 --> 01:04:52.969 It's coming up. 01:04:53.690 --> 01:04:58.009 And I really love, I love, love, love that you you choose to support men's mental health. 01:04:58.090 --> 01:04:59.690 I I think that's fucking awesome. 01:04:59.849 --> 01:05:01.369 I'm big fan. 01:05:01.529 --> 01:05:04.489 Um, but thank you so much for being on the show today. 01:05:04.650 --> 01:05:07.849 Again, my favorite returning guest, Ruby Ryder. 01:05:08.090 --> 01:05:10.170 Thank you so much for being on the show. 01:05:10.730 --> 01:05:12.009 You are so welcome. 01:05:12.170 --> 01:05:13.369 It's been a lot of fun. 01:05:13.449 --> 01:05:14.409 I'm happy to be back. 01:05:14.489 --> 01:05:19.130 I'm sorry to all your people listening that it took me so long to finally go, okay, let's do this. 01:05:19.449 --> 01:05:26.969 You know, life happens and the world's been a little wild, and I've been turtling for a bit, so I'm back. 01:05:27.130 --> 01:05:27.769 Yay! 01:05:28.170 --> 01:05:29.849 Yeah, let's do this again soon. 01:05:30.090 --> 01:05:30.730 Yes. 01:05:33.049 --> 01:05:35.210 That's gonna be it for today's episode. 01:05:35.369 --> 01:05:36.730 Thank you so much for joining me. 01:05:36.889 --> 01:05:39.610 Make sure you go to VenusCuckledress.com. 01:05:39.849 --> 01:06:03.690 That's where you can book a private chat with me, and you can also join the Queen's Porters community and get all the amazing benefits like the private podcast and the helpful cup tier, where you can get key holding, the private Snapchat group, monthly private chats with me, and weekly live hangouts and invites to special live events. 01:06:03.929 --> 01:06:07.690 Oh, and you can also submit a question or confession for the show. 01:06:07.849 --> 01:06:12.489 Just go to VenusCuckledris.com and click on the link that says the podcast. 01:06:13.049 --> 01:06:15.529 Make sure you follow me on Blue Sky Social. 01:06:15.690 --> 01:06:18.329 Yes, I said Blue Sky Social Twitter. 01:06:19.369 --> 01:06:22.329 My handle there is at Cuckled Just V. 01:06:22.889 --> 01:06:25.289 Alright, that's it for today's show, you guys. 01:06:25.369 --> 01:06:26.730 We'll see you next time.

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