142. Hustle, Magic, Weaknesses and Busy - Why I Don't Agree with any of it: täielik transkriptsioon

00:03:45.120 --> 00:03:46.159 My mum is gonna read it. 00:03:46.240 --> 00:03:47.360 And so I just I kept going. 00:03:47.439 --> 00:03:49.599 So I was like, she will, she will love reading this. 00:03:49.759 --> 00:03:50.560 She will love it. 00:03:50.719 --> 00:03:53.840 Um, but I love, I love words, right? 00:03:53.919 --> 00:03:56.400 Like words are basically my whole career. 00:03:56.560 --> 00:03:58.159 I am never short on what to say. 00:03:58.319 --> 00:04:05.599 I love it how so many of my business owner friends will talk to me about social media quite often because that's what you talk about these days in 2026. 00:04:05.759 --> 00:04:10.719 But they will talk to me about how they struggle with coming up with things to say and post about. 00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:14.319 And look, I struggle with a lot of things in business. 00:04:14.560 --> 00:04:14.960 A lot. 00:04:15.120 --> 00:04:17.040 Like, business is hard. 00:04:17.279 --> 00:04:24.240 However, thinking of what to post about and thinking of what to say, that is not one of them for me ever. 00:04:24.399 --> 00:04:27.759 Like honestly, uh sometimes I just have to be like enough now, Candace. 00:04:27.839 --> 00:04:28.240 Like enough. 00:04:28.319 --> 00:04:29.600 Like, especially on social media. 00:04:29.680 --> 00:04:36.800 You don't want to be that person who like has to, especially on your stories, where you're like, there's a gabillion things to tap through because you've got I'm I'm like that though. 00:04:36.959 --> 00:04:41.040 Like I have to hold myself back because I have a lot of things that I want to share with you always. 00:04:41.120 --> 00:04:41.600 You're welcome. 00:04:41.759 --> 00:04:47.199 If you don't follow me on social media, Candace Harvey underscore, underscore is my handle on Instagram. 00:04:47.360 --> 00:04:48.800 Always sounds weird when you say it out loud. 00:04:48.959 --> 00:04:58.879 But anyway, the fun part with all of this is there are actually a few words out there that despite my love affair with language, you will never hear these certain words come out of my mouth. 00:04:59.040 --> 00:05:06.160 Not because I'm precious about grammar, but because I genuinely don't buy into what these words represent. 00:05:06.240 --> 00:05:11.360 And I get this absolute like visceral reaction every time I hear them. 00:05:11.439 --> 00:05:13.199 Like I get triggered times 10. 00:05:13.360 --> 00:05:14.480 Trigger's another word. 00:05:14.720 --> 00:05:16.720 Trigger is another word that we have overused. 00:05:16.959 --> 00:05:17.920 Like everyone says it. 00:05:18.000 --> 00:05:20.639 Anyway, this is not an episode on all the overused words. 00:05:20.720 --> 00:05:22.639 Otherwise, we will be here forever. 00:05:22.720 --> 00:05:32.079 But today, I just thought it'd be really fun to record an episode and take you through my visceral reaction words, hustle, magic, weaknesses, and busy. 00:05:32.399 --> 00:05:38.560 Partly so you get to know me a bit better and partly because I reckon you'll resonate with at least one of them too. 00:05:38.720 --> 00:05:42.800 Now, you might be thinking, chill out, Candace Harvey, they're just words. 00:05:42.959 --> 00:05:48.879 And I get why you'd think that, but words carry way more weight than we give them credit for. 00:05:49.120 --> 00:05:57.759 The words we reach for on a regular basis shape how we think, which shapes how we act, which shapes the results we actually get. 00:05:57.920 --> 00:06:09.439 So if you say a word enough times without ever questioning what it means or where it lands, um, you can end up living it without really consciously choosing it, the thing that you actually say. 00:06:09.600 --> 00:06:21.920 So, for example, even a couple of weeks ago, I think I shared this last week on the on the podcast, actually, one of my friends sent me a um uh an intro to her brand new keynote that she just said, you know, I'd love some feedback. 00:06:22.079 --> 00:06:24.319 And it was absolutely brilliant. 00:06:24.560 --> 00:06:25.120 It was brilliant. 00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:26.879 So she sent it to me on WhatsApp. 00:06:27.040 --> 00:06:29.360 I'm listening to it word by word. 00:06:29.439 --> 00:06:32.959 I listened to it three times because I loved it so much, like back to back three times. 00:06:33.040 --> 00:06:36.079 I was like, this is an incredible way to start a keynote. 00:06:36.160 --> 00:06:37.360 It was phenomenal. 00:06:37.600 --> 00:06:43.279 And there was a part in it though that gave me a little bit of a because I am I'm a words person. 00:06:43.439 --> 00:06:44.560 I listen to everything. 00:06:44.800 --> 00:06:47.279 When you are speaking, I'm hearing the way that you are saying that. 00:06:47.360 --> 00:06:49.040 I'm obsessed with human behavior as well, right? 00:06:49.120 --> 00:06:51.199 So it's a real delicious combination. 00:06:51.360 --> 00:06:57.199 The way that I am wired and my poor husband who married me, like, can I just say he proposed to me. 00:06:57.279 --> 00:06:57.920 You know what I mean? 00:06:58.000 --> 00:07:02.560 Like he wanted this right here behind the microphone forever and ever Amen. 00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:03.759 So he knew what he was getting into. 00:07:03.839 --> 00:07:09.600 But I am someone who, when you speak, I will pick up every word, I will potentially correct you, I will go, oh, what do you mean by that? 00:07:09.759 --> 00:07:16.079 And it might be a mistake on your behalf, but I will very quickly get you to talk to me about it and change your mind if you want to change your mind. 00:07:16.240 --> 00:07:23.519 But one of the things that my friend actually said in her keynote is she said towards the end, I don't care what you think about that. 00:07:23.680 --> 00:07:26.800 What I what I do want you to do though is blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. 00:07:26.959 --> 00:07:38.319 And I actually said to her, I was like, oh, the only thing, the only thing in that, because I love every single part of it, every

sentence, every phrase, every whatever, the part where you say, I don't care, because I was like, you do care. 00:07:38.560 --> 00:07:43.120 So it is very easy to say certain things because it just made sense when she was writing it. 00:07:43.199 --> 00:07:47.360 You know, it was kind of like, so do what you want to do, I don't care, blah, blah, blah, but do this, da-da-da. 00:07:47.519 --> 00:07:48.319 And she was like, you know what? 00:07:48.399 --> 00:07:52.800 When I wrote that, uh, I actually felt like I didn't like that part, but I didn't know how to change it. 00:07:52.879 --> 00:07:59.120 And I was like, literally just move it with, you know, it doesn't matter what comes up for you or whatever. 00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:01.279 It's just the word, I don't care. 00:08:01.439 --> 00:08:06.800 Like the words like that is a very like, oh, you know, you had me in, and then all of a sudden you don't care. 00:08:06.879 --> 00:08:08.319 Like, is that really how you feel? 00:08:08.480 --> 00:08:14.240 And it came with it like a bit of um, not aggression, but it was like, I was about to say hostile. 00:08:14.399 --> 00:08:19.920 But it can make people feel almost disconnected from you in a moment, just by the words that you sometimes use. 00:08:20.000 --> 00:08:30.000 And as someone who is a speaker and a workshop facilitator, I am so aware sometimes that I can say a word, I can say a sentence, and people can go, I don't like her anymore. 00:08:30.319 --> 00:08:31.360 Can happen. 00:08:31.680 --> 00:08:42.960 And I might say it as a mistake, I might say it intentionally, I might say it as something that I haven't even thought through very much, but it can turn people off because the work that I do, people are listening to every single word. 00:08:43.120 --> 00:08:44.879 So words are very important. 00:08:45.120 --> 00:08:46.879 I sometimes say the wrong words. 00:08:46.960 --> 00:08:49.600 Like I just need everyone to acknowledge that. 00:08:49.679 --> 00:08:55.919 There are a lot of times where I come home from keynotes, I come home from workshops, and I will say to my husband, Oh, babe, you never believe what I said. 00:08:56.080 --> 00:08:58.799 And he'll be like, Babe, what did you say? 00:08:58.960 --> 00:09:01.919 And I will tell him and he will roll his eyes and I'll be like, I know. 00:09:02.080 --> 00:09:03.279 It just fell out of my mouth. 00:09:03.360 --> 00:09:04.080 I shouldn't have said it. 00:09:04.480 --> 00:09:14.720 I didn't mean it, but you know, sometimes I talk for long periods of time, and I am bound to say something that wasn't exactly nailed or perfect or beautiful because wait for it. 00:09:14.960 --> 00:09:16.080 I'm human. 00:09:16.480 --> 00:09:17.919 I am absolutely human. 00:09:18.159 --> 00:09:23.279 However, the words that I want to be able to talk about today are words that people do say on repeat. 00:09:23.440 --> 00:09:26.559 And like I said before, words carry weight. 00:09:26.720 --> 00:09:29.600 They carry so much

more weight than we give them credit for. 00:09:29.759 --> 00:09:38.879 And I want us to really be able to think about the words that we reach for sometimes, they will shape how we think, they will shape how we act, they will shape the results that we're actually getting. 00:09:39.039 --> 00:09:48.720 And if you say the word enough times, it can lead to you getting very different results to what you are actually wanting to choose, what you are wanting to gain. 00:09:48.879 --> 00:09:50.320 So that's the real risk here. 00:09:50.399 --> 00:09:57.600 It's not the word itself, like hustle, magic, weaknesses, busy are not technically swear words, but they actually are to me. 00:09:57.840 --> 00:10:06.720 I avoid them more than most swear words, to be honest, because it's not the words, it's the mindset that they actually install when nobody's actually checking. 00:10:06.879 --> 00:10:08.080 So let's get into it. 00:10:08.240 --> 00:10:10.480 The words that I don't agree with and why. 00:10:10.639 --> 00:10:12.480 So, first up, the word hustle. 00:10:13.360 --> 00:10:15.039 This was a popular one for a while, wasn't it? 00:10:15.200 --> 00:10:15.600 Hustle. 00:10:15.679 --> 00:10:17.440 I don't feel like people are saying it as much. 00:10:17.600 --> 00:10:20.960 However, it definitely still does pop up the word hustle. 00:10:21.279 --> 00:10:30.000 It was cool, uh, and I'm like saying back in the day, I reckon it's only a couple of years ago that it was cool to have a side hustle or to put your head down and hustle. 00:10:30.159 --> 00:10:32.480 Like all the cool kids on socials were saying it. 00:10:32.639 --> 00:10:44.000 And if you say the word hustle, I think that people are actually picturing someone who is a book solid, you know, who's glued to their laptop past midnight, who is wearing exhaustion like a badge of honor. 00:10:44.159 --> 00:10:46.399 Like you are killing it because you hustle. 00:10:46.720 --> 00:10:50.960 When everyone else is relaxing or sleeping, you're working, you're hustling. 00:10:51.120 --> 00:10:54.320 You know, we've turned hustle into a symbol of success. 00:10:54.559 --> 00:10:56.399 If you're hustling, you must be winning. 00:10:56.559 --> 00:10:58.720 But here's the effect that nobody actually talks about. 00:10:58.879 --> 00:11:02.399 Hustle as an identity leads straight to burnout. 00:11:02.639 --> 00:11:07.039 Your calendar looks impressive right up until your body sends you like the bill. 00:11:07.120 --> 00:11:10.879 You know, I don't believe grinding 24-7 is the price of success. 00:11:11.120 --> 00:11:17.120 If your calendar is book solid and you're proud of it, you haven't built a five-day nine to five job. 00:11:17.200 --> 00:11:18.879 You've built a 24-7 one. 00:11:19.200 --> 00:11:28.879 And I've been having this conversation with one of my clients for a long time now, that that is what she has unintentionally built for herself, a 24-7 gig, which is not what she wanted. 00:11:29.039 --> 00:11:35.279 She

got into business especially because she wanted to be able to have freedom and now, whoopsies, hustle, hustle, hustle. 00:11:35.440 --> 00:11:37.519 She's built herself a 24-7 job. 00:11:37.679 --> 00:11:42.000 So instead of hustle, which you will never hear me talk about, I talk about capacity. 00:11:42.399 --> 00:11:51.600 Working out what you can actually sustain and building rest, boundaries, and reflection time, so important for me into the plan on purpose. 00:11:51.840 --> 00:11:54.559 Those things aren't actually the opposite of high performance. 00:11:54.720 --> 00:11:57.759 Like checking in on your capacity isn't lazy or half-assed. 00:11:58.080 --> 00:12:05.200 It's actually about creating and living a life that you love instead of striving to fill in every tiny moment. 00:12:05.360 --> 00:12:08.240 I don't know who truly deep down wants that life. 00:12:08.399 --> 00:12:17.600 Even people who love their jobs like me, even people who love creating impact like me, even people who want to earn bucket loads of money, not necessarily like me. 00:12:17.759 --> 00:12:18.720 Like I'm into money. 00:12:18.879 --> 00:12:20.639 I'm definitely, definitely into it. 00:12:20.720 --> 00:12:25.039 But I am not someone who's like, I am out there to earn gabillions. 00:12:25.200 --> 00:12:26.960 Like that's that's not me. 00:12:27.200 --> 00:12:36.159 Um, but you really want to make sure that it is about creating and living a life that you love at the absolute forefront, even when I actually started my business. 00:12:36.399 --> 00:12:43.120 So uh back in 2018, so it's really important to know that I went full-time in my business in 2021. 00:12:43.200 --> 00:12:49.600 But 20 to 18 is when I started, it was when I was still managing a uh national HR team. 00:12:49.840 --> 00:12:52.879 Um, and I was coaching on evenings and on the weekends. 00:12:52.960 --> 00:12:59.279 And I even back then, I think it was cool back then in 2018 to say a hide side hustle, hide, hide susle. 00:13:00.080 --> 00:13:05.840 I was a bit dyslexic there, but I never actually called my business a side hustle. 00:13:05.919 --> 00:13:07.360 I was trying to think what I used to call it. 00:13:07.679 --> 00:13:08.000 I don't know. 00:13:08.080 --> 00:13:14.320 I think I just called it my business on the side instead of a side hustle, which is better, everyone. 00:13:14.399 --> 00:13:15.440 I don't know how, but it just was. 00:13:15.519 --> 00:13:16.559 I didn't use the word hustle. 00:13:16.720 --> 00:13:19.440 I definitely got to a point though where I was doing too much. 00:13:19.679 --> 00:13:35.440 And it was a lot to be working a nine to five, managing a national team, and then coaching, meaning that I was working sometimes five to eight some nights, but I knew that I wanted this side business to one day be a real business and a business that lasted. 00:13:35.759 --> 00:13:43.759 And when I think of hustle, for me, it feels temporary because you're gonna get to a point where you

just can't hustle forever, right? 00:13:43.919 --> 00:13:45.360 Like that's not sustainable. 00:13:45.519 --> 00:13:47.919 So why burn yourself out even short term? 00:13:48.000 --> 00:13:49.679 Like, I don't agree with it, I don't understand it. 00:13:49.759 --> 00:13:54.559 It's a word that you won't hear Candace Harvey say, and it's definitely a word that you won't hear me encourage. 00:13:54.720 --> 00:13:56.480 Like, I'm I'm not into you hustling. 00:13:56.720 --> 00:13:58.639 I don't care for how long I'm I'm not into it. 00:13:58.799 --> 00:14:05.600 I understand we have seasons as well, so that's a really important part where there are much busier seasons, there are seasons where you've got to put your head down, bum up. 00:14:05.679 --> 00:14:08.159 I understand that is still different to hustling. 00:14:08.399 --> 00:14:16.879 Hustling comes with this real energy of burnout and doing things that's just not good for you, right? 00:14:17.039 --> 00:14:21.039 So that is a word that you will never hear me say, and I absolutely don't agree with. 00:14:21.120 --> 00:14:22.559 Let me know if you agree with me. 00:14:22.720 --> 00:14:24.159 What do you think about hustle? 00:14:24.320 --> 00:14:28.000 The second word that I don't agree with, which I feel could be controversial. 00:14:28.080 --> 00:14:30.320 I already feel like hustle could be controversial, but that's okay. 00:14:30.399 --> 00:14:32.320 This whole episode, you're still listening. 00:14:32.480 --> 00:14:33.759 So you're you're you're in. 00:14:33.919 --> 00:14:37.519 You're either in and you're gonna blow up at me or you're in because you just love what I'm saying. 00:14:37.679 --> 00:14:39.200 Either way, you are welcome here. 00:14:39.360 --> 00:14:40.240 You're welcome. 00:14:40.559 --> 00:14:46.000 But the second word that I don't agree with, which I, you know, don't come at me, but also, you know, be kind. 00:14:46.159 --> 00:14:51.039 But also know that the Shake Up podcast is all about shaking you up and getting you to think about things differently. 00:14:51.120 --> 00:14:52.799 Like that is the first and foremost. 00:14:52.960 --> 00:14:54.720 It is about shaking up your thinking. 00:14:54.879 --> 00:14:58.080 So if it does annoy you, it's done what's on the tin. 00:14:58.399 --> 00:14:59.279 It's shaken you up. 00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:02.000 This episode is doing what it was supposed to do. 00:15:02.159 --> 00:15:05.600 But allow yourself to think through why do I disagree with this? 00:15:05.840 --> 00:15:07.919 Why is what Candace said annoy me? 00:15:08.000 --> 00:15:11.279 And Pius, if it does annoy you, I also love that for you. 00:15:11.519 --> 00:15:18.399 Just because I share my views and my ideas and my opinions and my stance on things doesn't mean that you have to agree with it all. 00:15:18.480 --> 00:15:21.200 Like that would almost be weird if you agreed with everything. 00:15:21.440 --> 00:15:23.039 But let it shake you up. 00:15:23.279 --> 00:15:23.759 Let it. 00:15:23.919 --> 00:15:34.159 And also, this is something that I love about myself that is really important that I talk about my book, The Shake Up, available on Amazon and Audible, is that my opinions change, right? 00:15:34.399 --> 00:15:39.279 So I love that I'm having this conversation right now about hustle, magic, weaknesses, and busy. 00:15:39.440 --> 00:15:49.360 And I will be absolutely fine if in a couple of years or even a couple of months' time, weeks, I don't know, days, something happens where it's like, Candace, you've got hustle wrong. 00:15:49.600 --> 00:15:50.960 Like you've got these words wrong. 00:15:51.120 --> 00:15:52.399 And that is that is okay. 00:15:52.480 --> 00:15:53.279 I am open to it. 00:15:53.360 --> 00:15:57.039 But right now, as it stands, these are words that I feel aren't helping people. 00:15:57.200 --> 00:16:00.799 And I want people to be living the absolute best lives that they can be living. 00:16:00.879 --> 00:16:14.960 And if striving for something and a word that has become popular is getting in the way of them having an incredibly juicy, relaxing, fulfilled present life, like hustle, a truly believe is doing that, then I don't want you to be using it. 00:16:15.200 --> 00:16:16.320 It's for that reason, right? 00:16:16.480 --> 00:16:18.799 It's not because I just hate the word and I don't want to be like everyone else. 00:16:18.960 --> 00:16:19.759 No, that's not it. 00:16:19.919 --> 00:16:21.519 There is reason behind it. 00:16:21.840 --> 00:16:25.440 So my next word is drum roll, please. 00:16:25.759 --> 00:16:27.200 Oh yes, I hit the right button. 00:16:27.279 --> 00:16:28.960 I get so excited when I do that. 00:16:29.120 --> 00:16:30.320 Uh, is magic. 00:16:30.559 --> 00:16:34.559 And this might sound like a killjoy or a fun police thing to say. 00:16:34.720 --> 00:16:35.919 Like, you know, it does. 00:16:36.000 --> 00:16:53.919 It sounds weird to be like, I don't like the word magic, but I want you to bear with me because it's not that I want everyone to be a realist and come back down to earth, like, and let's not have any fun and let's not have any mystical feeling or whatever it is, because I know that it can preserve a bit of wonder. 00:16:54.000 --> 00:17:04.640 And honestly, there are things in life that blow us away and we can't explain the beauty of it, like snow, for example, or falling in love, or watching a kid do something for the very first time. 00:17:04.799 --> 00:17:06.160 Like, so bloody cute. 00:17:06.319 --> 00:17:07.680 Like that stuff is amazing. 00:17:07.839 --> 00:17:08.480 I get it. 00:17:08.640 --> 00:17:10.160 I still wouldn't call it magic. 00:17:10.319 --> 00:17:15.920 But if that's your word of choice, which it is a lot of people's word of choice, I see it on the socials of media a lot. 00:17:16.000 --> 00:17:20.799 Um, I see my hear my friends say it a lot, and it's not something that I go, oh my God, I hate that word. 00:17:20.880 --> 00:17:25.599 Like my

friends probably don't even know that magic is not a word that I don't agree with. 00:17:25.759 --> 00:17:29.680 But internally, it is not something that I would ever use. 00:17:29.920 --> 00:17:40.400 Because what I take issue with is that when we use the word magic for achievement, so when someone's crushing it, we love to call it magic, right? 00:17:40.480 --> 00:17:44.559 Like when something amazing happens in business, we say it was magic. 00:17:44.799 --> 00:17:49.599 When people want to get you excited to work with them, they say, let's create some magic together. 00:17:49.839 --> 00:17:53.759 When someone does a great job, we say, you are magic, right? 00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:57.279 That's where the word gets a bit sneaky for me. 00:17:57.440 --> 00:18:00.400 Because achievement isn't a feeling that happens to you. 00:18:00.480 --> 00:18:02.079 It's a result of something you did. 00:18:02.240 --> 00:18:04.799 And if it's magic, you can't learn it. 00:18:04.880 --> 00:18:06.640 Like it just happens to you, right? 00:18:06.799 --> 00:18:08.160 So why bother trying? 00:18:08.319 --> 00:18:15.279 Why would I work with someone to create magic when I can sit back and not pay you and hope that magic happens without you? 00:18:15.519 --> 00:18:20.240 Is kind of what goes through my head when it comes to that sort of way of talking about magic. 00:18:20.400 --> 00:18:25.200 So to be clear, I don't think anything ugly is going on when people say this. 00:18:25.359 --> 00:18:31.519 But if someone's crushing it in the workforce, it's because they've built a skill, a craft, a habit. 00:18:31.759 --> 00:18:34.640 You just didn't see the boring, repeated work behind it. 00:18:34.720 --> 00:18:39.359 So when it comes to achievement instead of magic, I actually use the word craft. 00:18:39.519 --> 00:18:47.200 I get that it's not as sparkly and it's not as sexy and it's maybe not as cute to say craft instead of magic. 00:18:47.519 --> 00:18:50.000 But using the word craft is really powerful. 00:18:50.079 --> 00:18:56.240 Like someone who works on their craft, someone who has nailed their craft, that comes from focus. 00:18:56.400 --> 00:18:59.200 It comes from effort, it comes from self-responsibility. 00:18:59.359 --> 00:19:05.519 Like the moment you call it a craft instead of magic, you've made it something that you can actually get better at. 00:19:05.599 --> 00:19:07.839 And that's far, far more useful. 00:19:08.000 --> 00:19:10.720 Like it's a far more useful place to actually stand. 00:19:10.799 --> 00:19:14.319 Like for the things that you actually want to get good at, especially. 00:19:14.480 --> 00:19:17.680 So for me, magic never comes out of my mouth, just FYI. 00:19:17.759 --> 00:19:32.079 Again, I know a lot of people do, but it almost discredits a lot of the great things because I have, I mean, it's a beautiful thing, and I think that people are wanting to give me a compliment and it's lovely, but they say the work that you do is magic or the

way that you are up on stage is magic. 00:19:32.240 --> 00:19:38.799 And to me, the work that I do and the way that I am up on stage, I am working my booty off and perfecting my craft. 00:19:38.960 --> 00:19:43.680 I am working my booty off and being the best that I can be at what I do, which is my craft. 00:19:43.920 --> 00:19:47.279 So there is nothing like poof magic about it. 00:19:47.440 --> 00:19:50.720 So magic is not a word that I agree with. 00:19:51.039 --> 00:19:52.000 Full stop the end. 00:19:52.079 --> 00:19:53.920 Let me know what you think about the word magic. 00:19:54.079 --> 00:19:59.519 The third word that I don't agree with in the human language is weaknesses. 00:20:00.079 --> 00:20:07.359 Uh so call something a weakness, and the first reaction for people is to feel like less than, right? 00:20:07.519 --> 00:20:10.799 Followed by the natural next step, which is, well, I need to fix it. 00:20:11.039 --> 00:20:18.799 So you immediately hear weakness if it's to do with your own weakness, if it's to do with the business's weakness or whatever, it's like, oh God, less than. 00:20:18.960 --> 00:20:20.799 And then it's like, so now I need to fix it. 00:20:20.960 --> 00:20:23.519 And I truly feel like we have it wrong. 00:20:23.680 --> 00:20:28.480 And it's even a word that we use like a lot, right? 00:20:28.559 --> 00:20:30.880 So it's it's spoken about at school, for example. 00:20:30.960 --> 00:20:36.880 So in the context of, you know, you got a C in English and it's not your best subject, you need to work harder at it. 00:20:37.039 --> 00:20:38.720 English is actually a weakness. 00:20:38.960 --> 00:20:52.079 Or when you go for a job interview, you are literally asked to say out loud your strengths and weaknesses, which everyone tries to answer in a really clever way by making their weaknesses sound really employable for the interview. 00:20:52.240 --> 00:20:55.279 Like, um, uh, let me think of some examples. 00:20:55.519 --> 00:20:58.720 Uh, one of my weaknesses is that I really struggle saying no. 00:20:58.880 --> 00:21:01.759 So I say yes to everyone to help them out. 00:21:02.000 --> 00:21:08.319 Or uh my attention to detail can be really annoying for some, but doing a great job is so important to me. 00:21:08.640 --> 00:21:12.559 Or because I've worked in so many different industries, I have a lot of ideas. 00:21:12.640 --> 00:21:15.839 So trying to contain them is a weakness. 00:21:16.000 --> 00:21:17.119 Oh, please. 00:21:17.359 --> 00:21:28.400 As someone who has worked in HR for 15 years, I have heard all the positive weaknesses possible because deep down, people don't like sharing their weaknesses. 00:21:28.559 --> 00:21:30.559 Like who it's awful. 00:21:30.720 --> 00:21:31.759 Like, why would you want to do that? 00:21:31.920 --> 00:21:33.440 It makes people feel shit. 00:21:33.680 --> 00:21:41.519 Like people spend their career hunting down every weakness and grinding away until, you know, the idea is that it's no longer one. 00:21:41.680 --> 00:21:45.039 You know, I used to have this weakness, but I worked really hard on getting better at it. 00:21:45.119 --> 00:21:47.119 And it sounds responsible. 00:21:47.279 --> 00:21:53.359 Like it sounds like that's exactly what you should be doing, working on the things that you're not good at, because we were actually told that in school. 00:21:53.519 --> 00:21:56.319 We were told that there are going to be things that you're really good at, well done. 00:21:56.400 --> 00:21:59.039 There are gonna be things that you're not good at, and you're gonna have to work harder. 00:21:59.279 --> 00:22:01.200 But here, Here's the actual effect. 00:22:01.440 --> 00:22:08.240 You end up pouring your precious energy into the parts of you that were never going to shine. 00:22:08.480 --> 00:22:11.759 While the stuff that you're actually brilliant at gets neglected. 00:22:12.240 --> 00:22:13.039 Like you see that? 00:22:13.119 --> 00:22:14.240 Like there's actually a shift. 00:22:14.319 --> 00:22:16.880 So it's like, okay, so I'm I'm really good at dance. 00:22:17.039 --> 00:22:19.839 I'm talking about my um uh my subjects at school. 00:22:20.079 --> 00:22:21.279 Really good at dance, really good. 00:22:22.000 --> 00:22:23.519 A plus, so great. 00:22:23.680 --> 00:22:25.119 Uh what was I not very great at? 00:22:25.279 --> 00:22:27.920 Chemistry, but I actually quit chemistry to go into dance. 00:22:28.000 --> 00:22:29.599 What was another subject I was not good at? 00:22:30.079 --> 00:22:33.599 I did biology, I did history, I did maths. 00:22:33.680 --> 00:22:34.720 Okay, let's just say maths. 00:22:34.799 --> 00:22:35.599 I wasn't great at maths. 00:22:35.680 --> 00:22:38.960 I wasn't in the worst maths, but I wasn't in the best maths either. 00:22:39.119 --> 00:22:40.160 So I don't know what that was called. 00:22:40.319 --> 00:22:41.119 Maths B. 00:22:41.279 --> 00:22:42.319 Oh no, it's confusing. 00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:49.680 Anyway, so it was like, uh, you're really good at dance, so you know that that'll just keep ticking along, but you need to spend a lot more time on maths. 00:22:49.839 --> 00:23:04.799 Maths was boring, maths was hard, maths was something I didn't look forward to, I didn't understand maths, and so I had to spend all this time where I could have been having fun getting better at dancing, but no, I had to work on fixing my weakness, right? 00:23:05.039 --> 00:23:11.440 So it's just it, I mean, I get that it's trying to be authentic, like that's what we're trying to do. 00:23:11.519 --> 00:23:17.839 We're trying to be ourselves and improve ourselves, but also fixing your weaknesses is a bit of a contradiction to that. 00:23:18.000 --> 00:23:24.160 Like you can't become more of you by obsessing over the bits of you that aren't really you. 00:23:24.319 --> 00:23:31.279 So instead of weaknesses in my team workshops and specifically in my Energizer workshop, I run a session called Strengths and Stretches.

00:23:31.599 --> 00:23:33.359 Now, people question it every time. 00:23:33.519 --> 00:23:42.160 And it's it's funny because I don't actually talk about um strengths and weaknesses and then go, but I call it strengths and stretches. 00:23:42.480 --> 00:23:46.640 I actually introduce a session saying we're gonna talk about the strengths and stretches for this. 00:23:46.720 --> 00:23:52.880 And it's a it's a lot of people on feedback forms, it's everyone's favorite part of the entire workshop, which is so cool. 00:23:53.119 --> 00:23:57.119 But people, there is always someone that puts up their hand and they're like, I love that you say stretches. 00:23:57.440 --> 00:24:04.960 And I was like, uh, yeah, I do it on purpose because it's actually about realizing there are things that are a bit stretchy for you. 00:24:05.119 --> 00:24:12.240 There are things that are just a bit harder, but that doesn't actually mean that we need to classify it as the part that's terrible that you need to work on and push it up. 00:24:12.400 --> 00:24:20.720 It's just about realizing that everyone has things that they're naturally really great at and other and we all have things that just don't come as easy to us. 00:24:20.799 --> 00:24:27.200 So thinking about it in a different way and accepting that the old label of weakness just doesn't work. 00:24:27.359 --> 00:24:30.400 It's not a weakness, it's just something that stretches you more than anything else. 00:24:30.559 --> 00:24:33.119 So you will never actually hear weakness out of my mouth. 00:24:33.279 --> 00:24:35.359 I don't think it actually helps anyone. 00:24:35.519 --> 00:24:37.200 I think it makes people feel shit. 00:24:37.359 --> 00:24:45.599 Um, and I also think that from the perspective of being in HR for as long as I was in, I also don't think people are truthful about it. 00:24:45.680 --> 00:24:47.440 Like they they spend time on it. 00:24:47.519 --> 00:24:51.279 Like I used to have so many conversations with people where they're like, so I'm going for an interview. 00:24:51.359 --> 00:24:54.720 And obviously the, you know, the standard question is gonna be what's your strengths and weaknesses? 00:24:54.880 --> 00:24:57.759 I think I I'm pretty good at what my strengths are, like I think I've got that. 00:24:57.839 --> 00:25:00.000 But what do you think I should say about my weaknesses? 00:25:00.240 --> 00:25:08.160 Like the fact that it's like you know that there are a bucket load of things that you're not good at, but people don't want to be honest about it because that sounds terrible and they think they won't get employed. 00:25:08.400 --> 00:25:12.559 So uh let's dance around it and make it sound better than it actually is. 00:25:12.799 --> 00:25:13.519 Stop it. 00:25:13.759 --> 00:25:15.200 Absolutely ridiculous. 00:25:15.359 --> 00:25:30.559 So uh now, my final word that I don't agree with, and if you have spent any time with me over the past five years or so, or if you have read or listened to chapter four in the shakeup book, you will know that the final word that I do not agree with is busy. 00:25:31.119 --> 00:25:31.599 Busy. 00:25:31.680 --> 00:25:44.960 And lately, this one had to make the the episode today because lately I have had so many people, like I'm talking even friends and family, who have been saying to me, Wow, you look so busy at the moment, Candace. 00:25:45.119 --> 00:25:53.359 And they're saying it like it's a really cool thing, you know, like they're following along on my social media, and I'm I love sharing on social media. 00:25:53.519 --> 00:26:02.319 I find it really fun to keep people posted on what I'm doing when I'm going to events, when I'm having weeks where I'm actually behind my computer, I share what I get up to. 00:26:02.480 --> 00:26:07.359 Uh, but the answer to wow, you look like you're really busy, Candace, is I am not. 00:26:07.599 --> 00:26:12.240 I am genuinely not busy, and I love that I am not. 00:26:12.319 --> 00:26:15.599 In previous years, I probably you could say, yeah. 00:26:15.839 --> 00:26:17.440 You could say yes. 00:26:17.680 --> 00:26:28.400 Now though, it's like as my business evolves, which I am super, super proud of, and it does, it continues to do really, really well year on year, which is brilliant. 00:26:28.640 --> 00:26:32.559 I get less and less not full in my calendar. 00:26:32.880 --> 00:26:33.599 I'm not. 00:26:33.759 --> 00:26:39.519 But people think my calendar is chokers and that I'm running from one event to the next, and social media can look like that, I guess. 00:26:39.599 --> 00:26:44.880 I don't know how to make it not look like that, but I guess it can look like that, or people just assume and fill in the gaps. 00:26:44.960 --> 00:26:48.480 Um, but I am not running from event to event, not even close. 00:26:48.640 --> 00:26:53.599 In fact, if you are listening and you need a team workshop run or an event MC'd, reach out. 00:26:53.680 --> 00:26:54.559 I have capacity. 00:26:54.720 --> 00:27:03.519 But the balloon word busy gets treated like a personality trap trait, trait, trait, almost like a badge of honor as well. 00:27:03.599 --> 00:27:06.400 Like the busy you are, the more important you must be. 00:27:06.559 --> 00:27:09.200 The busier you are, the more successful you are. 00:27:09.440 --> 00:27:14.000 The busier you are, the more you look like you are absolutely crushing it. 00:27:14.240 --> 00:27:19.920 And it's the easy answer you give also when you haven't worked out what actually matters, right? 00:27:20.000 --> 00:27:22.480 So from the receiving end, when someone says, How are you? 00:27:22.640 --> 00:27:24.640 and a lot of people say busy. 00:27:24.880 --> 00:27:25.519 So busy. 00:27:25.599 --> 00:27:29.440 Even my cutelicious husband, there are some days where he walks in the door, I'm like, how was work? 00:27:29.519 --> 00:27:33.200 And he goes to say bh b, but he doesn't say it because I've given him a complex. 00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:35.359 He will

never say the busy word around me. 00:27:35.440 --> 00:27:37.359 Um, because it doesn't mean anything, right? 00:27:37.440 --> 00:27:43.039 But it also tells me that it's a lack of clarity of what you're actually doing, right? 00:27:43.279 --> 00:27:51.119 Like, or that you don't want to admit that you've said way too much to things and that you're completely scattered and that you have no idea where to start. 00:27:51.359 --> 00:27:55.680 Hectic and busy, though, are not the same thing as productive. 00:27:55.839 --> 00:28:05.759 So instead of saying busy, I'd rather say, I want you to say what's actually true, you know, like I'm focused on this right now, or that's not a priority for me at the moment. 00:28:05.839 --> 00:28:12.799 But it actually forces you to actually know what you're doing with your time instead of behind behind a word that says nothing. 00:28:13.039 --> 00:28:17.039 And the moment I hear someone answer a question with, like, you know, how are you going? 00:28:17.200 --> 00:28:19.279 And they say busy, I check out. 00:28:19.440 --> 00:28:21.440 Like I'm bored instantly. 00:28:21.759 --> 00:28:27.759 It actually tells me that they can't be bothered with the conversation because busy is a complete conversation stopper. 00:28:27.920 --> 00:28:30.720 So if I am speaking to someone and they say busy, I check out. 00:28:30.799 --> 00:28:33.279 I'm like, if you don't want to have this conversation, neither do I. 00:28:33.519 --> 00:28:37.599 So I want you to, though, if you are listening to this and you've never heard me say this before. 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:46.240 And the only reason that you've never heard me say this before, if this is the very first time you've heard my voice, because I talk about this a lot, I want you to ban the word busy from your vocab. 00:28:46.400 --> 00:28:52.559 And if you're, I mean, you can keep the word hustle, magic, and weaknesses if you want, but if I could pick one, it would be busy. 00:28:52.799 --> 00:28:54.640 Like, get rid of that. 00:28:54.799 --> 00:28:55.599 Get rid of it. 00:28:55.759 --> 00:28:58.240 Like the person that you're speaking to deserves better. 00:28:58.400 --> 00:29:02.240 And I want you to really push yourself that when someone says, How are you? 00:29:02.559 --> 00:29:05.440 Push yourself to answer, like, how actually am I? 00:29:05.599 --> 00:29:06.400 Like, really? 00:29:06.640 --> 00:29:08.079 What am I doing with my time? 00:29:08.240 --> 00:29:09.200 Am I having fun? 00:29:09.440 --> 00:29:11.200 Am I hating life at the moment? 00:29:11.359 --> 00:29:13.200 Like, how am I really? 00:29:13.519 --> 00:29:14.640 And answer it. 00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:18.720 I want you to see that busy is the most boring word that you can actually say. 00:29:18.880 --> 00:29:22.720 Busy is also a very disrespectful word for the person that you're speaking to. 00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:24.960 And I understand that it just comes at default. 00:29:25.039 --> 00:29:28.400 And I understand that you've just got a very head full head, headful. 00:29:29.519 --> 00:29:34.079 But the answer to how are you going, um, give it some more time. 00:29:34.319 --> 00:29:36.640 Literally answer how you are. 00:29:36.799 --> 00:29:38.720 So there you have it, my friends. 00:29:38.799 --> 00:29:58.079 It's such a weird episode giving you the words that I can't stand that I don't agree with, but hustle, magic, weaknesses, and busy for totally normal, everyday words that most people use without a second thought, and four words that you will never hear out of Candace Harvey's mouth on a regular basis because of what they quietly let us off the hook for. 00:29:58.240 --> 00:30:01.279 And look, maybe none of my four landed with you. 00:30:01.359 --> 00:30:02.480 That is completely fine. 00:30:02.640 --> 00:30:05.359 Like I said earlier, if you disagree, I love that for you. 00:30:05.519 --> 00:30:06.319 I truly do. 00:30:06.480 --> 00:30:11.519 Like I want to be the type of person that gets you thinking differently than you ever have before. 00:30:11.680 --> 00:30:16.480 That is a big passion of mine, not really the right word, motivator of me. 00:30:16.640 --> 00:30:18.559 I want to shake things up, literally. 00:30:18.720 --> 00:30:21.119 But here's what I actually want you to take from this episode. 00:30:21.279 --> 00:30:23.119 It's not really about my four words. 00:30:23.279 --> 00:30:26.480 It's about noticing that you've probably got a few of your own. 00:30:26.720 --> 00:30:33.680 Like a word that you reach for on repeat that if you're completely honest with yourself, is doing some quiet damage every time you say it. 00:30:33.920 --> 00:30:43.119 Like letting you off the hook, you know, hiding a decision that you haven't actually made or talking yourself into a life that you don't actually want. 00:30:43.279 --> 00:30:43.680 You know? 00:30:43.920 --> 00:30:48.160 So this week, I want you to play my own game back on yourself. 00:30:48.240 --> 00:30:51.759 Like catch the word that you default to without thinking. 00:30:51.920 --> 00:31:01.839 Ask what it's actually letting you avoid, and then decide on purpose, not by accident, whether it's actually earned a spot in your vocabulary or whether it's time to retire it. 00:31:02.079 --> 00:31:05.279 Because that's the whole shakeup for so for oh my God. 00:31:05.440 --> 00:31:10.720 I get so annoyed when I'm like coming to the end and it's like I start to fumble my words. 00:31:10.799 --> 00:31:11.759 It's like you've run out of words. 00:31:11.839 --> 00:31:13.519 Oh my god, Candace, you can't put them together. 00:31:13.599 --> 00:31:19.839 But I was gonna say the whole philosophy of the shakeup in one sentence really is that nothing changes by accident. 00:31:20.000 --> 00:31:24.559 Not your habits, not your results, and not even the words falling out of your mouth on autopilot. 00:31:24.640 --> 00:31:28.160 So until next time, go have fun and shake things up.