TRANSKRIBEERI 🔗
WEBVTT
1
00:00:04.330 --> 00:00:05.790
So today we're going to be looking at the interview
2
00:00:05.830 --> 00:00:08.859
before the attack. So picture this, you're walking through a
3
00:00:08.890 --> 00:00:12.400
dimly lit parking garage at night, cold, quiet, nobody around.
4
00:00:13.160 --> 00:00:16.000
Suddenly some guy walks up and says, hey, you know
5
00:00:16.039 --> 00:00:20.579
what time it is? Okay, look, normal question. People ask
6
00:00:20.600 --> 00:00:24.280
for the time every day. No reason to panic, but bang,
7
00:00:24.440 --> 00:00:26.699
suddenly the vibe changes. You tell him the time, but
8
00:00:26.739 --> 00:00:29.100
instead of saying thanks and walking away, he steps closer.
9
00:00:29.679 --> 00:00:32.320
You step back. What does he do? He steps right
10
00:00:32.340 --> 00:00:35.759
into your space again. You say, hey, I got to run,
11
00:00:35.799 --> 00:00:38.539
but he keeps talking, peppering you with questions, trying to
12
00:00:38.579 --> 00:00:41.219
trap you with words. At what point do you realize,
13
00:00:41.359 --> 00:00:43.750
wait a minute, this isn't just a friendly chat anymore.
14
00:00:44.329 --> 00:00:47.450
This is what security guys will call the interview. Before
15
00:00:47.490 --> 00:00:49.609
a bad guy pulls a weapon, grabs you or throws
16
00:00:49.649 --> 00:00:51.490
a sucker punch, he wants to know, can I take
17
00:00:51.530 --> 00:00:54.119
this person? Is she going to scream? Is this person
18
00:00:54.159 --> 00:00:57.850
paying attention or are they a soft target? Literally, they're
19
00:00:57.869 --> 00:01:00.570
interviewing you. He's checking your posture, seeing if you shrink
20
00:01:00.630 --> 00:01:02.630
away or freeze up. He wants to know if you're alone,
21
00:01:03.070 --> 00:01:05.569
if you're distracted, and most importantly, how you react when
22
00:01:05.590 --> 00:01:10.090
he steps across your line. So don't be paranoid. Not
23
00:01:10.170 --> 00:01:12.670
every strange person who talks to you is an assassin
24
00:01:12.730 --> 00:01:15.730
trying to break your neck. Some people are just awkward.
25
00:01:16.170 --> 00:01:18.590
Others have other reasons for it. But you have to
26
00:01:18.629 --> 00:01:21.530
watch the behavioral red flags. Take the guy who refuses
27
00:01:21.590 --> 00:01:25.459
to take no. Hey, my friend, let me use your phone.
28
00:01:25.500 --> 00:01:27.760
You say, no, sorry, I can't help you. A normal
29
00:01:27.799 --> 00:01:31.099
person goes, okay, no worries. But this guy, he steps closer.
30
00:01:31.359 --> 00:01:35.359
Come on. It's just one phone call. What's your problem?
31
00:01:36.019 --> 00:01:39.180
Now he's cutting off your path. Listen to me. It's
32
00:01:39.219 --> 00:01:41.620
not about the phone anymore. Who cares about the phone?
33
00:01:41.640 --> 00:01:43.540
It's about how he reacts when you tell him no.
34
00:01:44.159 --> 00:01:47.359
If someone won't respect a simple boundary on a small thing,
35
00:01:47.420 --> 00:01:48.500
what do you think they're going to do on a
36
00:01:48.540 --> 00:01:53.230
bigger one? Watch the distance. Distance is life. When two
37
00:01:53.290 --> 00:01:55.909
normal human beings talk, there's an invisible cushion. If I
38
00:01:55.930 --> 00:01:57.969
step back half a pace, you stay where you are
39
00:01:58.030 --> 00:02:00.650
or adjust naturally. But if you take a step back
40
00:02:00.689 --> 00:02:04.390
and this guy immediately crowds your chest, alarm bells should
41
00:02:04.409 --> 00:02:06.939
be going off in your head. He's testing your boundaries,
42
00:02:07.000 --> 00:02:10.120
invading your comfort zone to see if you crumble. Or
43
00:02:10.139 --> 00:02:12.240
he's getting close enough to grab your collar and drop
44
00:02:12.300 --> 00:02:15.879
an elbow on you. Location changes everything as well. If
45
00:02:15.900 --> 00:02:17.439
a guy asks you for change in the middle of
46
00:02:17.500 --> 00:02:20.960
a packed train station at noon with police walking by, okay, annoying,
47
00:02:21.000 --> 00:02:23.439
but lower threat. But if the exact same guy does
48
00:02:23.460 --> 00:02:26.379
it at 2 a.m. on an empty subway platform in
49
00:02:26.400 --> 00:02:29.879
an empty parking lot, no cameras, we've got a whole
50
00:02:29.960 --> 00:02:33.840
different ballgame. Pay attention to your exits. The biggest rule
51
00:02:33.879 --> 00:02:37.039
you need to remember and keep it hammered in your head,
52
00:02:37.090 --> 00:02:39.090
you do not need a guy's permission or a written
53
00:02:39.150 --> 00:02:41.889
confession to walk away. You don't have to prove he's
54
00:02:41.909 --> 00:02:44.270
a criminal before you put your hands up and create distance.
55
00:02:45.090 --> 00:02:47.349
Society trains people to be polite, and there's a place
56
00:02:47.389 --> 00:02:50.389
for that. I don't want to look rude, you can say.
57
00:02:50.409 --> 00:02:52.569
I don't want to hurt his feelings. You may ask
58
00:02:52.590 --> 00:02:55.750
to tell yourself. Forget hurting his feelings. Your safety comes
59
00:02:55.830 --> 00:02:58.550
first every single day of the week. You may never
60
00:02:58.610 --> 00:03:01.650
get another chance to be polite again. If your gut
61
00:03:01.710 --> 00:03:03.870
tells you something is wrong, you don't just stand there
62
00:03:03.889 --> 00:03:06.889
like a statue smiling. You disengage. You create space. You
63
00:03:06.909 --> 00:03:09.090
walk toward a lighted storefront, toward a group of people,
64
00:03:09.129 --> 00:03:12.310
toward safety. Does this mean you walk around glaring at
65
00:03:12.349 --> 00:03:16.650
everybody like a maniac? No. If you're constantly tense and terrified,
66
00:03:16.689 --> 00:03:20.310
you wear yourself out and your brain makes stupid decisions.
67
00:03:21.009 --> 00:03:23.840
Pay attention to the patterns. Does he back off when
68
00:03:23.849 --> 00:03:25.900
you ask for space? Does he get aggressive the second
69
00:03:25.939 --> 00:03:29.219
you say no? Is he angling his body to block
70
00:03:29.259 --> 00:03:33.259
your exit? Forget what the guy looks like or what
71
00:03:33.300 --> 00:03:40.500
shoes he's wearing. Watch what he does and remember. You
72
00:03:40.560 --> 00:03:42.520
don't need to square up, drop your chin and scream,
73
00:03:42.560 --> 00:03:44.900
let's go tough guy. That just invites a fight you
74
00:03:44.939 --> 00:03:47.419
may not need to have. You may not want to have.
75
00:03:48.039 --> 00:03:51.669
Be calm. Use an open palm fence. Hey man, back up,
76
00:03:51.710 --> 00:03:54.710
I can't help you. Firm voice, confident posture, and keep
77
00:03:54.770 --> 00:03:57.949
moving your feet toward an exit. You'd be surprised how
78
00:03:58.009 --> 00:04:00.810
far confident posture with a firm voice and an open
79
00:04:00.870 --> 00:04:05.689
palm can keep them away. I know, could be substance
80
00:04:05.789 --> 00:04:07.590
use or a lot of other factors, but right now,
81
00:04:07.729 --> 00:04:10.229
majority of the time, they will walk away unless they
82
00:04:10.289 --> 00:04:13.310
intended to hurt you. And I love knockouts as much
83
00:04:13.349 --> 00:04:15.590
as anybody. A clean palm strike to the chin or
84
00:04:15.629 --> 00:04:17.810
a knee to the groin is fantastic if you're in
85
00:04:17.860 --> 00:04:20.730
that type of danger. But the absolute best fight in
86
00:04:20.759 --> 00:04:23.410
the world, bar none, is the one you never had
87
00:04:23.430 --> 00:04:26.410
to show up for. Spot the interview early. Pass the
88
00:04:26.449 --> 00:04:29.230
test by showing you're aware, assertive, and not an easy target.
89
00:04:29.850 --> 00:04:32.250
Don't wait until their fist is an inch from your
90
00:04:32.300 --> 00:04:36.180
nose to realize you're in a fight.