Your Brain Is Addicted To Worst-Case Scenarios (3 Ways To Break The Habit): täielik transkriptsioon

66 00:04:14.189 --> 00:04:17.660 could assume there might be a predator hiding nearby. If 67 00:04:17.740 --> 00:04:20.920 it guessed wrong in the first direction, the consequences could 68 00:04:20.939 --> 00:04:24.259 be fatal. If it guessed wrong in the second direction, 69 00:04:24.699 --> 00:04:28.000 the worst outcome was that you experienced a few unnecessary 70 00:04:28.060 --> 00:04:31.879 moments of stress before realizing there was nothing there. Evolution 71 00:04:31.959 --> 00:04:35.360 constantly rewarded the people who erred on the side of caution. 72 00:04:36.240 --> 00:04:40.649 This is what psychologists call the negativity bias. Our brains 73 00:04:40.730 --> 00:04:43.899 naturally give more attention, more emotional weight, and more mental 74 00:04:44.019 --> 00:04:48.120 energy to potential threats than to neutral or positive information. 75 00:04:48.870 --> 00:04:52.470 Thousands of years ago, this bias dramatically increased our chances 76 00:04:52.529 --> 00:04:56.139 of survival. The people who remembered where danger lived, who 77 00:04:56.180 --> 00:04:59.560 stayed alert to possible risks, and who assumed the worst 78 00:05:00.019 --> 00:05:03.379 often lived long enough to pass those instincts onto the 79 00:05:03.439 --> 00:05:08.389 future generations. Those future generations are us. The challenge is 80 00:05:08.410 --> 00:05:12.470 that while the world around us has changed almost beyond recognition, 81 00:05:13.129 --> 00:05:16.399 our brains have not evolved nearly as quickly. Most of 82 00:05:16.480 --> 00:05:20.860 us are no longer worried about predators hiding behind trees. Instead, 83 00:05:20.939 --> 00:05:25.180 our threats have become psychological rather than physical. This episode 84 00:05:25.199 --> 00:05:28.420 of On Purpose is presented to you by Mazda. Peace 85 00:05:28.480 --> 00:05:31.500 of mind doesn't happen by chance. It's created through the 86 00:05:31.560 --> 00:05:34.879 habits we build before we ever need them. That's the 87 00:05:34.920 --> 00:05:39.129 philosophy behind every Mazda, with proactive safety features that help 88 00:05:39.170 --> 00:05:42.750 keep you more aware More connected and more engaged, Mazda 89 00:05:42.790 --> 00:05:45.990 helps you feel ready for whatever the road brings. It's 90 00:05:46.009 --> 00:05:49.870 why Mazda has been named Consumer Reports' Safest New Car brand. 91 00:05:50.370 --> 00:05:54.500 And as of July 2026, Mazda has won more 2026 92 00:05:54.500 --> 00:05:59.579 IIHS Top Safety Pick Plus awards than any other car brand. 93 00:06:00.139 --> 00:06:05.819 Visit www.iihs.org to learn more. A lot can happen when 94 00:06:05.870 --> 00:06:11.129 an accident doesn't. Visit mazdausa.com to learn more. Consumer Reports 95 00:06:11.170 --> 00:06:14.990 does not endorse products or services. An unread email from 96 00:06:15.019 --> 00:06:18.610 your boss, a partner who seems quieter than usual, a 97 00:06:18.670 --> 00:06:21.709 medical test you haven't

gotten back yet, a job interview, 98 00:06:21.810 --> 00:06:24.990 a first date, a text message that simply says, can 99 00:06:25.029 --> 00:06:28.610 we talk? Your brain responds to these moments of uncertainty 100 00:06:29.009 --> 00:06:32.449 using many of the exact same survival systems that once 101 00:06:32.529 --> 00:06:36.350 protected your ancestors from physical danger. One of the most 102 00:06:36.430 --> 00:06:40.129 fascinating developments in neuroscience over the last couple of decades 103 00:06:40.509 --> 00:06:45.519 is something called predictive processing. Scientists increasingly believe that your 104 00:06:45.579 --> 00:06:50.699 brain isn't simply reacting to reality as it unfolds. Instead, 105 00:06:50.759 --> 00:06:54.600 it's constantly trying to predict what will happen next. Before 106 00:06:54.639 --> 00:06:58.240 you've consciously interpreted what's happening around you, your brain is 107 00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:03.579 already generating expectations, filling in missing information, and making educated 108 00:07:03.660 --> 00:07:07.689 guesses about the future. And those predictions don't remain neutral 109 00:07:07.750 --> 00:07:11.970 ideas in your head. they influence what you notice. If 110 00:07:12.009 --> 00:07:15.029 you enter a meeting convinced that your colleagues don't respect you, 111 00:07:15.550 --> 00:07:18.350 you will be more likely to notice the person who 112 00:07:18.410 --> 00:07:21.860 checks their phone than the person nodding along. If you 113 00:07:21.899 --> 00:07:25.920 believe your partner is pulling away, one distracted response may 114 00:07:25.980 --> 00:07:30.240 feel more meaningful than 10 moments of affection. The prediction 115 00:07:30.360 --> 00:07:35.019 silently becomes a filter, highlighting anything that supports it and 116 00:07:35.120 --> 00:07:39.259 minimizing anything that doesn't. Once your brain has predicted danger, 117 00:07:39.779 --> 00:07:43.610 it begins collecting evidence for the danger it already expects 118 00:07:43.649 --> 00:07:47.670 to find. You may believe you're objectively reading the situation 119 00:07:48.250 --> 00:07:51.189 when you're actually reading it through a conclusion your mind 120 00:07:51.290 --> 00:07:55.649 reached before all the information arrived. The more frightened you feel, 121 00:07:56.110 --> 00:08:00.019 the more certain that conclusion can seem. What's interesting is 122 00:08:00.060 --> 00:08:03.240 that your brain doesn't actually care whether the story it 123 00:08:03.319 --> 00:08:07.079 writes is accurate. It cares whether the story keeps you alive. 124 00:08:07.800 --> 00:08:10.459 In other words, your brain would rather make you anxious 125 00:08:10.990 --> 00:08:14.149 than risk making you vulnerable. This is why I don't 126 00:08:14.189 --> 00:08:17.810 think the goal should be to eliminate anxiety. Anxiety is 127 00:08:17.850 --> 00:08:22.100 a normal human emotion. Every person you admire has experienced it. 128 00:08:22.649 --> 00:08:26.410 Every successful entrepreneur has wondered if the business would fail. 129 00:08:27.129 --> 00:08:31.170 Every athlete has worried. before a competition. Every parent has 130 00:08:31.250 --> 00:08:35.009 imagined something happening to their child. Every person who has 131 00:08:35.220 --> 00:08:39.059 ever fallen in love has feared losing it. The goal 132 00:08:39.240 --> 00:08:43.080 isn't to become someone whose mind never imagines the worst. 133 00:08:43.740 --> 00:08:46.620 The goal is to become someone who no longer mistakes 134 00:08:47.019 --> 00:08:51.500 those imagined futures for inevitable ones. One of my favorite 135 00:08:51.559 --> 00:08:54.620 observations about the human mind is that it almost never 136 00:08:54.679 --> 00:08:58.870 predicts boring outcomes. It doesn't tell you, your flight will 137 00:08:58.909 --> 00:09:01.690 probably leave on time, you'll have an average trip, and 138 00:09:01.730 --> 00:09:06.730 nothing particularly memorable will happen. That's statistically the most likely scenario, 139 00:09:07.129 --> 00:09:10.049 but instead it asks, what if the plane crashes? Your 140 00:09:10.080 --> 00:09:13.139 brain doesn't say, your date will probably be pleasant, you'll 141 00:09:13.159 --> 00:09:15.799 learn a little about each other, and you'll decide whether 142 00:09:15.820 --> 00:09:18.100 you want to meet again. It says, what if they 143 00:09:18.120 --> 00:09:20.789 think you're awkward? What if there's no chemistry? What if 144 00:09:20.809 --> 00:09:24.360 you embarrass yourself? The brain is drawn to dramatic stories 145 00:09:24.580 --> 00:09:28.379 because dramatic stories are easier to remember and more memorable 146 00:09:28.440 --> 00:09:32.820 dangers helped our ancestors survive. Psychologists have a name for 147 00:09:32.899 --> 00:09:36.879 one of the reasons this happens. It's called the availability heuristic. 148 00:09:37.519 --> 00:09:40.779 and once you understand it, you'll start seeing it everywhere. 149 00:09:41.419 --> 00:09:45.419 The availability heuristic is our tendency to judge how likely 150 00:09:45.500 --> 00:09:48.879 something is based on how easily examples come to mind. 151 00:09:49.519 --> 00:09:51.909 If your brain can quickly think of an example, it 152 00:09:51.950 --> 00:09:54.789 assumes that event must be common. If it struggles to 153 00:09:54.830 --> 00:09:57.809 think of one, it assumes the event is rare. The 154 00:09:57.850 --> 00:10:00.620 fascinating part is that what comes to mind most easily 155 00:10:01.100 --> 00:10:04.830 isn't necessarily what's happening most often. It's simply what has 156 00:10:04.879 --> 00:10:08.350 captured your attention the most. Think about what social media 157 00:10:08.370 --> 00:10:11.200 has done to this process. You open your phone intending 158 00:10:11.240 --> 00:10:13.600 to check in with friends. And within a few minutes, 159 00:10:13.679 --> 00:10:17.100 you've seen someone talking about

being laid off. Another person 160 00:10:17.139 --> 00:10:21.679 sharing a story about infidelity. Someone describing a frightening medical diagnosis. 161 00:10:22.179 --> 00:10:25.659 And a creator explaining why artificial intelligence is about to 162 00:10:25.720 --> 00:10:28.980 replace millions of jobs. None of those things are imaginary. 163 00:10:29.539 --> 00:10:32.500 They happen. But because your brain has been more exposed 164 00:10:32.539 --> 00:10:37.389 to them over and over again, they become mentally available. Suddenly, 165 00:10:37.429 --> 00:10:41.720 they don't just feel possible. They feel probable. Maybe you've 166 00:10:41.779 --> 00:10:44.840 noticed this after watching a documentary about a rare disease. 167 00:10:45.379 --> 00:10:48.480 For the next few days, every small ache or unusual 168 00:10:48.539 --> 00:10:55.389 sensation suddenly feels significant. Rationally, you know the odds haven't changed. Emotionally, however, 169 00:10:55.769 --> 00:10:59.110 your brain now has a vivid story to reference. The 170 00:10:59.149 --> 00:11:02.720 same thing happens after hearing about a relationship ending unexpectedly. 171 00:11:03.269 --> 00:11:06.259 If you're dating someone, your brain quietly starts scanning for 172 00:11:06.379 --> 00:11:09.840 evidence that your relationship might be next. Nothing in your 173 00:11:09.879 --> 00:11:13.659 reality has changed, but the stories available to your mind have. 174 00:11:14.480 --> 00:11:18.419 Algorithms have become incredibly good at exploiting this tendency. They 175 00:11:18.460 --> 00:11:22.539 don't necessarily show us what's most representative of reality, they 176 00:11:22.610 --> 00:11:27.129 show us what's most emotionally engaging. Fear keeps us watching. 177 00:11:27.789 --> 00:11:32.149 Outrage keeps us commenting. Uncertainty keeps us scrolling for one 178 00:11:32.350 --> 00:11:36.710 more answer. Over time, our brains begin mistaking emotionally charged 179 00:11:36.750 --> 00:11:41.870 information for statistically normal information. Your brain hates open loops. 180 00:11:42.450 --> 00:11:46.350 It craves completion. It wants answers. It wants certainty. That's 181 00:11:46.389 --> 00:11:50.769 why waiting is so emotionally exhausting. Waiting for test results. 182 00:11:51.250 --> 00:11:54.230 Waiting to hear back after an interview. Waiting for someone 183 00:11:54.250 --> 00:11:58.620 to define the relationship. Waiting for an apology. Waiting for closure. 184 00:11:59.179 --> 00:12:01.480 In each of these moments, your brain is faced with 185 00:12:01.559 --> 00:12:05.789 something it dislikes more than almost anything else, not knowing. 186 00:12:06.169 --> 00:12:10.720 And rather than tolerate that uncertainty, it begins inventing explanations 187 00:12:11.039 --> 00:12:15.440 to fill the silence. Notice how rarely those explanations are generous. 188 00:12:16.039 --> 00:12:19.679 Your brain doesn't usually say, they're probably busy. It says, 189 00:12:20.000 --> 00:12:23.470 they're ignoring me. It doesn't say, the hiring manager is 190 00:12:23.500 --> 00:12:27.289 interviewing several candidates. It says, they've already decided you weren't 191 00:12:27.309 --> 00:12:30.320 good enough. It doesn't say your friend has had a 192 00:12:30.340 --> 00:12:33.539 difficult week. It says you must have done something wrong. 193 00:12:34.279 --> 00:12:38.360 When information is missing, fear is often the first author 194 00:12:38.399 --> 00:12:43.200 your brain invites into the room. That's because uncertainty itself 195 00:12:43.659 --> 00:12:47.330 feels threatening. In fact, psychologists have found that one of 196 00:12:47.370 --> 00:12:51.870 the strongest predictors of chronic anxiety isn't simply fear. It's 197 00:12:51.929 --> 00:12:56.710 something called intolerance of uncertainty. Some people don't just dislike 198 00:12:56.789 --> 00:13:02.590 not knowing. They experience uncertainty itself as emotionally unsafe. Their 199 00:13:02.649 --> 00:13:06.669 nervous system would almost rather receive bad news than remain 200 00:13:06.710 --> 00:13:11.360 in suspense. That's why unanswered questions become breeding grounds for 201 00:13:11.409 --> 00:13:15.220 catastrophic thinking. The brain thinks, if I can just figure 202 00:13:15.259 --> 00:13:18.679 out what's going to happen, I'll finally be able to relax. 203 00:13:19.480 --> 00:13:22.500 The irony, of course, is that the search for certainty 204 00:13:23.000 --> 00:13:27.639 rarely creates peace. More often, it creates spirals. You search 205 00:13:27.700 --> 00:13:31.179 online about a frightening current event, which leads to an article, 206 00:13:31.600 --> 00:13:35.500 then another article, then another forum, then another video, until 207 00:13:35.519 --> 00:13:39.039 you've spent two hours investigating a future that doesn't exist. 208 00:13:39.750 --> 00:13:42.429 You replay one conversation in your head looking for clues, 209 00:13:42.970 --> 00:13:46.149 only to leave feeling even more confused than when you started. 210 00:13:46.850 --> 00:13:50.370 The brain mistakes this activity for progress. It feels like 211 00:13:50.389 --> 00:13:54.190 you're solving something, but you're not solving a problem. You're 212 00:13:54.269 --> 00:13:57.730 feeding a prediction. There's an important difference between thinking about 213 00:13:57.769 --> 00:14:02.720 a problem and solving one. Solving produces something, a decision, 214 00:14:02.740 --> 00:14:05.980 a conversation, a plan, or a next step. An anxious 215 00:14:06.019 --> 00:14:10.659 spiral can consume enormous amounts of energy without producing any 216 00:14:10.720 --> 00:14:13.759 new information at all. You finish in the same place 217 00:14:13.779 --> 00:14:17.279 you started, except now you're more exhausted and the imagined 218 00:14:17.440 --> 00:14:21.549 outcome feels even more familiar. Familiarity can then be mistaken 219 00:14:21.590 --> 00:14:25.929 for

likelihood. Because you picture the disaster 50 times, it 220 00:14:25.970 --> 00:14:28.690 begins to feel as though it is approaching rather than 221 00:14:28.750 --> 00:14:33.340 merely repeating. I once heard someone describe anxiety as paying 222 00:14:33.429 --> 00:14:36.299 interest on a debt you may never owe. And I 223 00:14:36.340 --> 00:14:38.960 think that's exactly what many of us do every day. 224 00:14:39.539 --> 00:14:43.399 Your brain mistakes worrying for working. Every time you replay 225 00:14:43.440 --> 00:14:46.710 the same fear, your mind gives you a subtle feeling 226 00:14:46.990 --> 00:14:50.889 that you're accomplishing something. You're being responsible. You're getting ready. 227 00:14:51.149 --> 00:14:54.950 You're staying vigilant. But if worrying actually prevented bad things 228 00:14:54.990 --> 00:15:00.000 from happening, the most anxious people would also be the safest, healthiest, 229 00:15:00.139 --> 00:15:03.440 and happiest. We know that's not true. So here's the 230 00:15:03.539 --> 00:15:06.519 first shift I want you to practice. The next time 231 00:15:06.559 --> 00:15:11.610 you notice yourself spiraling, don't ask, could this happen? Your 232 00:15:11.669 --> 00:15:15.559 anxious brain has already answered that question. Instead ask, how 233 00:15:15.659 --> 00:15:18.600 likely is this based on the evidence I have right now? 234 00:15:19.259 --> 00:15:22.980 It's a deceptively simple question, but it forces a completely 235 00:15:23.039 --> 00:15:26.000 different part of your brain to engage. You're no longer 236 00:15:26.039 --> 00:15:30.799 reacting emotionally. You're reasoning. You're moving from fear into curiosity. 237 00:15:31.490 --> 00:15:34.409 The words, based on the evidence I have right now, 238 00:15:34.929 --> 00:15:38.690 are the most important part of that question. Anxiety often 239 00:15:38.750 --> 00:15:42.409 treats the intensity of a feeling as evidence. I feel afraid, 240 00:15:42.769 --> 00:15:45.730 so something bad must be happening. But a feeling can 241 00:15:45.789 --> 00:15:49.250 tell you that your alarm system has been activated without 242 00:15:49.309 --> 00:15:52.700 telling you whether the alarm is accurate. Try giving your 243 00:15:52.740 --> 00:15:56.919 prediction an actual percentage. Is this outcome 90% likely, or 244 00:15:56.940 --> 00:16:01.909 does it only feel 90% frightening? What other outcomes would 245 00:16:02.029 --> 00:16:04.769 fit the same facts? If a friend brought you this 246 00:16:04.850 --> 00:16:08.750 exact situation, would you reach the same conclusion? You may 247 00:16:08.809 --> 00:16:12.389 not arrive at perfect certainty, but that isn't the assignment. 248 00:16:12.990 --> 00:16:15.340 The assignment is to move from this is going to 249 00:16:15.399 --> 00:16:19.139 happen to this is one possibility and I don't yet 250 00:16:19.220 --> 00:16:21.980 know whether it will happen. This is one of the 251 00:16:22.039 --> 00:16:25.899 reasons cognitive behavioral therapy has been so effective for decades. 252 00:16:26.539 --> 00:16:29.490 It doesn't ask you to become blindly optimistic or pretend 253 00:16:29.529 --> 00:16:32.519 everything will be okay. It asks you to examine your 254 00:16:32.590 --> 00:16:36.169 thinking like a scientist instead of accepting it like a 255 00:16:36.210 --> 00:16:40.269 fortune teller. Imagine your anxious thought walking into a courtroom. 256 00:16:41.049 --> 00:16:45.669 Anxiety immediately acts like the prosecutor. It presents one dramatic argument, 257 00:16:46.190 --> 00:16:50.269 one emotional witness, one frightening conclusion. And because we're so 258 00:16:50.370 --> 00:16:53.429 identified with our own thoughts, we often hand down the 259 00:16:53.470 --> 00:16:57.629 verdict before the defense has even spoken. What would happen 260 00:16:57.669 --> 00:17:01.370 if you become your own defense attorney? Instead of immediately 261 00:17:01.409 --> 00:17:05.769 believing the accusation, you started asking for evidence. What facts 262 00:17:05.849 --> 00:17:09.609 actually support this prediction? What facts don't? Have I been 263 00:17:09.670 --> 00:17:14.190 wrong about something like this before? Those questions don't eliminate uncertainty, 264 00:17:14.670 --> 00:17:19.900 but they stop uncertainty from automatically turning into catastrophe. I've 265 00:17:19.940 --> 00:17:23.539 noticed something about people who seem emotionally resilient. They don't 266 00:17:23.599 --> 00:17:27.960 necessarily experience fewer frightening thoughts than everyone else. They simply 267 00:17:28.039 --> 00:17:32.009 don't give every thought equal authority. In the same way 268 00:17:32.049 --> 00:17:35.289 you wouldn't believe every headline you read or every rumor 269 00:17:35.329 --> 00:17:38.309 you hear, you don't have to believe every story your 270 00:17:38.490 --> 00:17:41.890 own mind tells you. The great thing is that this 271 00:17:41.970 --> 00:17:45.950 skill gets stronger with practice. Every time you interrupt an 272 00:17:46.150 --> 00:17:50.839 anxious prediction and ask for evidence instead of immediately accepting it, 273 00:17:51.309 --> 00:17:54.599 you're teaching your brain a new pattern. You're reminding it 274 00:17:54.660 --> 00:17:59.859 that uncertainty doesn't automatically equal danger. You're slowly retraining the 275 00:17:59.880 --> 00:18:04.309 prediction engine itself. And that matters because the goal isn't 276 00:18:04.349 --> 00:18:08.230 to stop your brain from making predictions. It's to stop 277 00:18:08.349 --> 00:18:11.710 fear from being the only writer in the room. The 278 00:18:11.750 --> 00:18:14.769 second shift is the one that changed my own relationship 279 00:18:14.789 --> 00:18:18.349 with anxiety more than anything else. It begins with a 280 00:18:18.369 --> 00:18:23.339 question that's so simple, you'll almost always underestimate it. What 281 00:18:23.420 --> 00:18:26.720 problem actually

exists right now? I think one of the 282 00:18:26.740 --> 00:18:30.579 biggest reasons anxiety becomes so overwhelming is because it tricks 283 00:18:30.660 --> 00:18:34.430 us into living somewhere we don't actually exist. Your body 284 00:18:34.470 --> 00:18:37.589 is sitting in your living room. You're drinking coffee, walking 285 00:18:37.630 --> 00:18:40.809 your dog, driving to work or lying in bed. But 286 00:18:40.829 --> 00:18:44.190 your mind has traveled three weeks into the future. It's 287 00:18:44.250 --> 00:18:47.450 already living inside a conversation that hasn't happened yet, a 288 00:18:47.490 --> 00:18:51.160 diagnosis that hasn't arrived or a rejection that may never come. 289 00:18:51.880 --> 00:18:55.599 That's one of anxiety's greatest tricks. It convinces you that 290 00:18:55.700 --> 00:18:59.980 your imagined future deserves more of your attention than your 291 00:19:00.140 --> 00:19:04.140 actual present. One of my favorite quotes from Seneca is 292 00:19:04.180 --> 00:19:07.960 we suffer more often in imagination than in reality. I 293 00:19:08.690 --> 00:19:12.250 think that's one of the most psychologically accurate observations ever written. 294 00:19:13.029 --> 00:19:16.130 Notice he doesn't say we never suffer in reality. Of 295 00:19:16.170 --> 00:19:21.230 course we do. Loss is real. Heartbreak is real. Grief, disappointment, illness, failure, 296 00:19:21.269 --> 00:19:24.450 these are all part of being human. But so much 297 00:19:24.490 --> 00:19:29.380 of our suffering isn't created by what happens. It's created 298 00:19:29.420 --> 00:19:33.660 by what we repeatedly imagine might happen. We become attached 299 00:19:33.680 --> 00:19:36.539 to stories about how things should unfold, or we become 300 00:19:36.599 --> 00:19:41.579 consumed by futures that haven't arrived. Instead of inhabiting this moment, 301 00:19:42.150 --> 00:19:46.160 we begin negotiating with moments that don't exist. The mind 302 00:19:46.200 --> 00:19:49.990 keeps trying to solve tomorrow's uncertainty while completely abandoning it. 303 00:19:50.559 --> 00:19:53.839 today's reality. So here's the question I come back to 304 00:19:53.900 --> 00:19:57.359 whenever I feel myself spiraling. Let's say you're waiting to 305 00:19:57.400 --> 00:20:00.240 hear whether you got the job. Your mind has already 306 00:20:00.299 --> 00:20:04.940 imagined not getting it, falling behind financially, disappointing your family, 307 00:20:05.369 --> 00:20:09.869 and never finding another opportunity. But what problem exists right now? 308 00:20:10.500 --> 00:20:13.740 Right now, you're waiting for an email. You may feel uncomfortable, 309 00:20:14.349 --> 00:20:16.650 but you've not been rejected. You do not need to 310 00:20:16.750 --> 00:20:20.029 rebuild your career tonight. You only need to live the 311 00:20:20.170 --> 00:20:23.009 evening that is actually in front of you. If a 312 00:20:23.069 --> 00:20:26.369 real problem does exist, bring it down to the size 313 00:20:26.430 --> 00:20:29.710 of the next available action. Maybe the bill is due, 314 00:20:30.109 --> 00:20:33.079 the conversation needs to happen, or the application has to 315 00:20:33.119 --> 00:20:36.880 be submitted. Anxiety wants you to solve the entire future 316 00:20:36.900 --> 00:20:40.769 at once. Reality usually asks you for one phone call, 317 00:20:41.349 --> 00:20:45.390 one honest sentence, one decision, or one hour of focused work. 318 00:20:46.069 --> 00:20:48.690 The present may still be difficult, but it is almost 319 00:20:48.890 --> 00:20:53.329 always smaller than the life-size catastrophe your mind has constructed 320 00:20:53.390 --> 00:20:56.539 around it. This episode is brought to you by Ultra. 321 00:20:57.079 --> 00:21:00.460 Making space for ourselves matters. Having time and room to 322 00:21:00.519 --> 00:21:03.779 try new things. Our feet benefit from more space too. 323 00:21:04.400 --> 00:21:08.240 That's why ultra running shoes feature ultra fit design, giving 324 00:21:08.299 --> 00:21:12.160 toes more room for comfort and balance, helping feet feel stronger. 325 00:21:12.440 --> 00:21:16.089 These aren't just running shoes. They're perfect for walking, hiking, 326 00:21:16.289 --> 00:21:19.509 any pace, any level. They feel right from the first step. 327 00:21:19.990 --> 00:21:24.450 Go to ultrarunning.com forward slash on purpose and use code 328 00:21:24.490 --> 00:21:30.740 purpose 10 for 10% off. That's altrarunning.com forward slash on purpose. 329 00:21:31.220 --> 00:21:34.029 Stay out there. One of the reasons this practice is 330 00:21:34.109 --> 00:21:37.650 so powerful is because anxiety is always trying to solve 331 00:21:37.809 --> 00:21:41.789 a future problem using present energy. It asks you to 332 00:21:41.849 --> 00:21:45.759 spend emotional resources on situations that haven't needed them yet. 333 00:21:46.440 --> 00:21:48.799 This doesn't mean we ignore the future or avoid planning. 334 00:21:49.299 --> 00:21:53.099 Planning is necessary and preparation is wise. The difference is 335 00:21:53.140 --> 00:21:57.079 that planning works with reality while anxiety works with imagination. 336 00:21:57.869 --> 00:22:01.009 One leads to action, the other leads to exhaustion. On 337 00:22:01.130 --> 00:22:03.789 one side, write down what you know. On the other side, 338 00:22:03.809 --> 00:22:07.069 write down what you're assuming. It's amazing how often the 339 00:22:07.150 --> 00:22:10.829 second list is dramatically longer than the first. We confuse 340 00:22:10.890 --> 00:22:14.930 assumptions with facts because our brains present them in the 341 00:22:15.029 --> 00:22:18.380 same emotional tone. That's why writing them down can be 342 00:22:18.420 --> 00:22:21.509 so clarifying. Once they're on paper, you realize how much 343 00:22:21.549 --> 00:22:25.089 of your suffering has been fueled by sentences that begin 344 00:22:25.130 --> 00:22:29.240 with maybe or what if.

Then look back at the 345 00:22:29.299 --> 00:22:32.930 first list and ask what it requires from you. If 346 00:22:32.970 --> 00:22:36.549 you know your friend hasn't replied, the fact may require patience. 347 00:22:37.069 --> 00:22:39.509 If you know you made a mistake at work, the 348 00:22:39.569 --> 00:22:42.970 fact may require an apology or a correction. If you 349 00:22:43.029 --> 00:22:45.740 know you have a medical appointment next week, the fact 350 00:22:46.079 --> 00:22:49.910 may require writing down your questions. This returns you to 351 00:22:50.109 --> 00:22:54.289 your actual responsibility. You stop trying to control the answer 352 00:22:54.650 --> 00:22:58.250 and start responding to the information you truly have. I 353 00:22:58.309 --> 00:23:01.990 also think there's something incredibly freeing about accepting that not 354 00:23:02.049 --> 00:23:05.269 every question deserves an immediate answer. We live in a 355 00:23:05.289 --> 00:23:09.630 culture that encourages instant certainty. We can track our food deliveries, 356 00:23:09.829 --> 00:23:12.589 watch flights move across a map in real time and 357 00:23:12.630 --> 00:23:16.990 get answers from our phones within seconds. We've become uncomfortable 358 00:23:17.549 --> 00:23:21.319 with not knowing But emotional life doesn't work that way. 359 00:23:22.000 --> 00:23:27.000 Relationships don't offer constant reassurance. Careers don't come with guaranteed outcomes. 360 00:23:27.599 --> 00:23:32.250 Health doesn't promise certainty. Part of being emotionally mature is 361 00:23:32.289 --> 00:23:37.289 developing the capacity to sit inside unanswered questions without allowing 362 00:23:37.329 --> 00:23:40.970 your imagination to answer them for you. That brings us 363 00:23:41.009 --> 00:23:44.589 to the third and perhaps most important shift. We need 364 00:23:44.630 --> 00:23:47.950 to learn to stay present in the inevitable uncertainty of 365 00:23:48.029 --> 00:23:51.630 our lives. We tell ourselves, I'll feel better once I know. 366 00:23:52.299 --> 00:23:54.420 Once I know whether I got the job. Once I 367 00:23:54.460 --> 00:23:56.920 know how they feel about me. Once I know the 368 00:23:56.960 --> 00:24:00.380 test results. Once I know whether this relationship is going 369 00:24:00.400 --> 00:24:04.859 to last. We spend our lives chasing certainty because we 370 00:24:04.900 --> 00:24:08.960 believe certainty is what creates peace. But if you really 371 00:24:09.000 --> 00:24:11.869 look at the happiest, strongest, most resilient people you know, 372 00:24:12.470 --> 00:24:16.230 you'll notice something surprising. Their lives aren't more certain than yours. 373 00:24:16.829 --> 00:24:20.779 They're just more present, living within the unknown. Think about 374 00:24:20.980 --> 00:24:25.859 every meaningful decision you've ever made. Falling in love wasn't certain. 375 00:24:26.259 --> 00:24:29.380 Starting a business wasn't certain. Moving to a new city 376 00:24:29.440 --> 00:24:32.990 wasn't certain. Becoming a parent isn't certain, pursuing a dream 377 00:24:33.130 --> 00:24:37.339 certainly isn't certain. The moments that shape our lives almost 378 00:24:37.559 --> 00:24:42.480 always begin with incomplete information. If certainty were a prerequisite 379 00:24:42.500 --> 00:24:45.819 for living well, none of us would ever do anything courageous. 380 00:24:46.299 --> 00:24:48.859 Psychologists have a term that I think deserves far more 381 00:24:48.920 --> 00:24:53.809 attention than it gets. Self-efficacy. It was developed by psychologist 382 00:24:53.990 --> 00:24:58.630 Albert Bandura, and it's one of the strongest predictors of resilience, motivation, 383 00:24:58.990 --> 00:25:04.109 and long-term success. Self-efficacy isn't the belief that bad things 384 00:25:04.150 --> 00:25:07.079 won't happen to you. It's the belief that if they do, 385 00:25:07.759 --> 00:25:11.259 you will be capable of handling them. That's a completely 386 00:25:11.319 --> 00:25:15.259 different source of confidence. Your piece isn't reliant on the 387 00:25:15.319 --> 00:25:18.079 future going the way you hope it will. It is 388 00:25:18.140 --> 00:25:21.599 reliant on the person you will become. regardless of what 389 00:25:21.640 --> 00:25:27.539 the future brings. You build that self-efficacy by remembering specific evidence. 390 00:25:28.319 --> 00:25:31.349 Think of a moment you once dreaded that eventually became 391 00:25:31.400 --> 00:25:34.049 part of your history. At the time, you may not 392 00:25:34.089 --> 00:25:36.809 have known what to say or how you would recover. 393 00:25:37.369 --> 00:25:41.069 You learned while living it. You found resources you couldn't 394 00:25:41.130 --> 00:25:44.710 see in advance, accepted support you didn't know you would 395 00:25:44.730 --> 00:25:48.430 have had access to, and made decisions as new information arrived. 396 00:25:49.160 --> 00:25:52.880 Your past does not prove that nothing difficult will happen. 397 00:25:53.599 --> 00:25:56.980 It proves that you do not need every solution before 398 00:25:57.029 --> 00:26:00.029 the difficulty begins. I think that's one of the most 399 00:26:00.109 --> 00:26:03.329 liberating shifts we can make. Instead of asking, how can 400 00:26:03.369 --> 00:26:06.990 I become more certain? We can start asking, how can 401 00:26:07.029 --> 00:26:11.339 I become more capable? Because here's the truth. Capability is 402 00:26:11.390 --> 00:26:15.190 something you can build every single day. You can't guarantee 403 00:26:15.210 --> 00:26:17.799 you'll never lose a job, but you can become someone 404 00:26:17.819 --> 00:26:20.880 who knows how to adapt. You can't guarantee your heart 405 00:26:20.920 --> 00:26:23.660 will never be broken, but you can become someone who 406 00:26:23.759 --> 00:26:27.519 trusts they'll heal. You can't guarantee life won't surprise you, 407 00:26:28.200 --> 00:26:30.400 but you can become someone who

believes they can meet 408 00:26:30.460 --> 00:26:34.599 those surprises with wisdom, courage, and support. This is where 409 00:26:34.640 --> 00:26:37.279 I want to leave you with one final exercise that's 410 00:26:37.319 --> 00:26:40.369 had a profound impact, on the way I respond to anxiety. 411 00:26:41.029 --> 00:26:43.849 The next time your mind starts spiraling towards the worst 412 00:26:43.890 --> 00:26:47.450 case scenario, instead of trying to stop the thought, simply 413 00:26:47.529 --> 00:26:50.970 ask yourself, then what? Let's say your brain says I'm 414 00:26:50.990 --> 00:26:54.730 going to lose my job. Okay, then what? I'll have 415 00:26:54.769 --> 00:26:58.039 to start looking for another one. Then what? I'll update 416 00:26:58.059 --> 00:27:01.119 my resume and reach out to people I know. Then what? 417 00:27:01.680 --> 00:27:03.579 I might have to cut back on expenses for a while. 418 00:27:04.339 --> 00:27:08.599 Then what? I'll find another opportunity. Then what? I'll look 419 00:27:08.640 --> 00:27:11.180 back and realize I learned something I couldn't have learned 420 00:27:11.640 --> 00:27:15.910 any other way. Notice what happens as you keep asking, 421 00:27:16.210 --> 00:27:20.470 then what? Anxiety wants the story to stop at the 422 00:27:20.509 --> 00:27:22.950 pain point. It wants you to believe the worst moment 423 00:27:22.990 --> 00:27:26.970 is also the final chapter. But life almost never works 424 00:27:27.009 --> 00:27:32.069 that way. Human beings are remarkably adaptable. We've survived heartbreaks 425 00:27:32.089 --> 00:27:35.190 we thought would destroy us. We've recovered from failures we 426 00:27:35.210 --> 00:27:39.150 were convinced we'd never overcome. We found joy again after 427 00:27:39.230 --> 00:27:45.119 seasons that felt impossibly dark. The story almost always continues. 428 00:27:45.900 --> 00:27:49.599 Anxiety just forgets to tell you that part. Not trust 429 00:27:49.619 --> 00:27:52.500 that everything will go according to plan. Not trust that 430 00:27:52.559 --> 00:27:55.900 life will always be easy. But true trust in yourself 431 00:27:56.339 --> 00:27:59.309 that no matter what happens, you will figure it out 432 00:27:59.910 --> 00:28:03.130 when you need to. I've found that this exercise doesn't 433 00:28:03.190 --> 00:28:07.170 magically erase fear, but it does reveal something far more valuable. 434 00:28:07.759 --> 00:28:11.140 It reveals your resilience. When you follow the story all 435 00:28:11.180 --> 00:28:14.740 the way through instead of stopping at the disaster, you 436 00:28:14.779 --> 00:28:18.619 begin remembering how resourceful you actually are. You remember the 437 00:28:18.660 --> 00:28:21.609 people who would help you, the skills you've already developed, 438 00:28:21.910 --> 00:28:26.049 the challenges you've already overcome. The anxious mind is excellent 439 00:28:26.190 --> 00:28:30.789 at imagining future pain, but it's surprisingly poor at imagining

440 00:28:30.890 --> 00:28:34.480 future strength. Whatever happens, you won't experience it as the 441 00:28:34.539 --> 00:28:37.720 version of yourself sitting here today. You'll experience it as 442 00:28:37.759 --> 00:28:40.880 the version of yourself who has grown through every challenge 443 00:28:41.160 --> 00:28:45.089 between now and then. That's an important distinction because your 444 00:28:45.210 --> 00:28:50.869 anxious mind always imagines tomorrow's problems using today's strengths. but 445 00:28:50.910 --> 00:28:54.829 it forgets that you'll keep learning, adapting, healing, and becoming 446 00:28:54.930 --> 00:28:58.230 wiser along the way. Today's seven-day challenge is brought to 447 00:28:58.269 --> 00:29:01.299 you by Chase Sapphire Reserve. One of the most meaningful 448 00:29:01.339 --> 00:29:04.980 things we can invest in is an experience that changes 449 00:29:05.059 --> 00:29:08.180 how we see the world. The meals that become memories, 450 00:29:08.299 --> 00:29:11.460 the places that shift our perspective, the moments that stay 451 00:29:11.500 --> 00:29:14.369 with us long after we return home. And with the 452 00:29:14.430 --> 00:29:18.529 Chase Sapphire Reserve card, every trip becomes even more rewarding. 453 00:29:18.980 --> 00:29:22.130 helping you earn more on the experiences you'll never forget. 454 00:29:22.809 --> 00:29:25.430 Here's your challenge this week. For the next seven days, 455 00:29:25.450 --> 00:29:28.750 I want you to practice giving your mind something positive 456 00:29:28.789 --> 00:29:31.750 to anticipate. At the beginning of the week, choose one 457 00:29:31.789 --> 00:29:34.069 experience you want to have in the next 30 days. 458 00:29:34.569 --> 00:29:37.329 It could be booking a weekend away, trying a restaurant 459 00:29:37.349 --> 00:29:39.829 you've always wanted to visit, planning a day trip with 460 00:29:39.849 --> 00:29:43.299 your family, getting tickets to something you're excited about, or 461 00:29:43.359 --> 00:29:46.289 exploring somewhere new in your own city. But don't just 462 00:29:46.309 --> 00:29:49.990 think about it. Book it, reserve it, invite someone, put 463 00:29:50.009 --> 00:29:52.609 it on the calendar. Then for the next seven days, 464 00:29:53.089 --> 00:29:55.640 spend just a few minutes each day thinking about something 465 00:29:55.660 --> 00:29:59.839 you're genuinely looking forward to about that experience. Maybe it's 466 00:29:59.859 --> 00:30:02.539 the meal you'll share, the person you'll be with, the 467 00:30:02.559 --> 00:30:05.380 place you'll discover, or simply how it might feel to 468 00:30:05.440 --> 00:30:08.869 step outside your normal routine. Because your brain is incredibly 469 00:30:08.910 --> 00:30:11.809 good at imagining everything that could go wrong, it can 470 00:30:11.829 --> 00:30:15.259 take one uncertainty and create an entire future around it. 471 00:30:15.809 --> 00:30:18.730 So this week, we're going to practice using that same 472 00:30:18.809 --> 00:30:23.220 imagination differently. Not to convince yourself that everything will be perfect, 473 00:30:23.619 --> 00:30:26.500 but to remind yourself that the future can hold things 474 00:30:26.519 --> 00:30:29.140 you're excited about as well. At the end of the 475 00:30:29.160 --> 00:30:32.900 seven days, ask yourself, what changed when I gave myself 476 00:30:32.940 --> 00:30:36.190 something to look forward to instead of something to worry about? 477 00:30:36.930 --> 00:30:41.609 One experience, one plan, seven days of anticipation. That's your 478 00:30:41.650 --> 00:30:46.410 challenge this week. With Chase Sapphire Reserve, every experience feels 479 00:30:46.569 --> 00:30:50.549 as rewarding as the destination itself. Earn four times the 480 00:30:50.609 --> 00:30:53.710 points on flights and hotels, three times the points on dining, 481 00:30:54.089 --> 00:30:58.960 enjoy award-winning airport lounges, reserve exclusive tables, and no foreign 482 00:30:59.000 --> 00:31:04.839 transaction fees. Learn more at chase.com forward slash sapphirereserve. Cards 483 00:31:04.900 --> 00:31:09.779 issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank, NA member FDIC, subject to 484 00:31:09.839 --> 00:31:31.730 credit approval, terms apply. Thank you for watching. In the 485 00:31:31.769 --> 00:31:35.190 other backpack, you place what actually happened. When you compare 486 00:31:35.210 --> 00:31:38.309 the weight of everything you feared with the reality of 487 00:31:38.369 --> 00:31:43.690 what unfolded, the second backpack is always lighter. Most of 488 00:31:43.750 --> 00:31:46.890 us spend our days carrying the first backpack, even though 489 00:31:46.930 --> 00:31:50.589 the second contains the truth. What actually happens is rarely 490 00:31:50.650 --> 00:31:53.809 as impossible to handle as what anxiety asks us to 491 00:31:53.869 --> 00:31:56.789 carry in advance. So the next time your brain starts 492 00:31:56.829 --> 00:31:59.299 predicting the future, I don't want you to ask whether 493 00:31:59.339 --> 00:32:01.930 the prediction is frightening. I want you to ask whether 494 00:32:01.950 --> 00:32:06.309 your fortune teller has actually earned your trust. Remember its 495 00:32:06.349 --> 00:32:09.950 track record. Remember how many conversations it got wrong. How 496 00:32:09.990 --> 00:32:13.099 many sleepless nights it created over problems that never arrived. 497 00:32:13.619 --> 00:32:17.519 How many stories it confidently narrated that reality never bothered 498 00:32:17.539 --> 00:32:21.250 to follow. Your brain is going to keep making predictions. 499 00:32:22.069 --> 00:32:25.559 That's what healthy human brains do. but it's now on 500 00:32:25.619 --> 00:32:28.680 you to stop confusing its guesses with the truth. So 501 00:32:28.700 --> 00:32:31.700 the next time your mind starts spiraling, come back to 502 00:32:31.720 --> 00:32:34.970 the present. Remind yourself that your brain is wired to 503 00:32:35.049 --> 00:32:39.710 find this worst-case scenario But that worst case scenario is 504 00:32:39.750 --> 00:32:42.549 not always the most likely one or the last one. 505 00:32:43.309 --> 00:32:46.869 Remind yourself of where you are right now. Remind yourself 506 00:32:46.910 --> 00:32:50.069 that the present moment is the only one that truly exists. 507 00:32:50.539 --> 00:32:53.519 And remind yourself that no matter what happens, you are 508 00:32:53.559 --> 00:32:56.900 stronger than you realize, more resilient than you know, and 509 00:32:56.940 --> 00:33:00.660 completely capable of trusting yourself to get through whatever life 510 00:33:01.240 --> 00:33:04.829 throws your way. Thank you for watching. Remember, I'm forever 511 00:33:04.849 --> 00:33:06.789 in your corner and I'm always rooting for you.