Episode 104 Lisa Phillips, Transforming Trauma into Triumph in the Fashion World (Jeffery Epstein): täielik transkriptsioon

fashion or acting world I just always wanted to just be in front of the camera and and have something that showed my personality. 00:04:33.083 --> 00:04:50.860 I was always that one like jumping in front of the camera, hey, doing all these fun things and doing cheerleading or dancing and stuff like that, and my family was like, okay, calm down so you told us, you know traveling army, but what's your, what's your background? 00:04:50.860 --> 00:04:51.821 Air force. 00:04:52.221 --> 00:05:03.783 Air force, not army okay, yeah yeah, so my background, ethnicity or yes, oh, uh, let's see here. 00:05:03.783 --> 00:05:06.990 So my, my mother, is Indian descent. 00:05:06.990 --> 00:05:09.233 Her family was originally from Pakistan. 00:05:09.233 --> 00:05:15.112 Actually India then moved to Jamaica and she has a little bit of English in her. 00:05:15.112 --> 00:05:18.827 I don't know my test that I have Italian on that side, so I don't know. 00:05:18.827 --> 00:05:22.105 That's what she told me Indian and a little English. 00:05:22.105 --> 00:05:28.646 And then my dad's side his father is Jamaican and Scottish and his mother was Norwegian mix or something. 00:05:28.646 --> 00:05:31.012 So I don't know, I'm all mixed up here. 00:05:32.161 --> 00:05:34.788 So you're getting the best culture of all foods and things. 00:05:34.788 --> 00:05:37.923 So I have to ask favorite place to go eat. 00:05:37.923 --> 00:05:38.627 What's your favorite food? 00:05:39.901 --> 00:05:40.762 That's a hard one. 00:05:40.762 --> 00:05:44.451 I don't have favorites because there's just so many good things to eat. 00:05:44.451 --> 00:05:53.043 I definitely love West Indian food, Indian food I'm very big on Korean. 00:05:53.062 --> 00:05:53.684 I love Korean food and Japanese. 00:05:53.684 --> 00:05:56.589 Nice, the reason I asked you about your culture is growing up. 00:05:56.589 --> 00:06:00.124 You know, getting into this industry and this thing. 00:06:00.124 --> 00:06:01.687 Tell us the pitfalls. 00:06:01.687 --> 00:06:07.608 The great things, Like you said in the beginning, it's not what we see on TV all the time about the glam and everything. 00:06:07.608 --> 00:06:11.387 Do you remember trying out for different roles and not getting the part? 00:06:11.970 --> 00:06:19.807 Oh sure, of course I always had a really positive outlook of just oh, if I don't get this one, I'll get the next one, or my time is coming. 00:06:19.807 --> 00:06:31.605 I always had that kind of little mantra, so reading these like spiritual books when I was really young. 00:06:31.605 --> 00:06:35.100 But there's a lot of times when you go out for things and you don't get it and it it kind of stings a little bit, but you have to get used to that in this type of business. 00:06:35.100 --> 00:06:43.288 If you want to be in anything entertainment dancing, singing, acting, modeling you're going to get a lot of rejection and it's just part of the job. 00:06:43.288 --> 00:06:46.334 You go out for things that you're just not right for. 00:06:46.334 --> 00:06:50.310 It doesn't mean that you're, you know, not as good as the person who got it. 00:06:50.310 --> 00:06:56.646 A lot of times it just comes down to what you look like, you know, how you talk or your body type or whatever it is. 00:06:56.646 --> 00:07:02.485 It has to fit into some type of mold, and sometimes it's just not you, so you kind of just need to understand that. 00:07:03.586 --> 00:07:05.312 And how do you keep your confidence up? 00:07:10.879 --> 00:07:12.785 I think confidence is built over time, so it doesn't always come naturally for people. 00:07:12.785 --> 00:07:13.687 I think I hit a lot of success kind of young. 00:07:13.687 --> 00:07:24.447 My mother entered me into pageants and things like that and I started modeling in my teens and when you get big successes it builds on that and then from there you get more confident. 00:07:24.447 --> 00:07:30.492 But I think you have to kind of have a little mantra and talk to yourself and say you've got this, you could do this. 00:07:30.492 --> 00:07:32.249 You know you're going to get there. 00:07:32.249 --> 00:07:40.593 You know maybe you didn't get that job but you're going to get the next one, and kind of have this self-talk where it motivates you and empowers you. 00:07:40.779 --> 00:07:51.701 And I really feel like it has to come from you, because a lot of times you're lucky if it comes from your parent or you know, or siblings or friends, but most of the times it doesn't. 00:07:51.701 --> 00:08:01.331 So it has to come from you in that that self-belief where you know you don't have to tell everybody else what you're thinking or what you're planning, but it's gotta be in there. 00:08:01.331 --> 00:08:13.391 We're like I'm going to, I'm going'm gonna get there, it's gonna be my time and it's coming, and just know that it's going to happen, not like you know, it's gonna happen tomorrow. 00:08:13.391 --> 00:08:17.565 Especially the youth today thinks everything's gonna happen tomorrow or in three months. 00:08:17.565 --> 00:08:19.226 This is what I'm dealing with in the modeling business. 00:08:19.226 --> 00:08:22.009 No, you have to know it's going to happen in the right time. 00:08:22.009 --> 00:08:29.047 They may not come for two months or two years or sometimes five years, and it's kind of just sticking with it. 00:08:30.180 --> 00:08:32.620 And I just believe you can stick with it 100%. 00:08:32.700 --> 00:08:33.625 But what about those? 00:08:33.625 --> 00:08:36.799 Because, like you said, the new generation there's always naysayers. 00:08:36.799 --> 00:08:39.850 You put a post out and they're like oh, why are you wearing that? 00:08:39.850 --> 00:08:41.081 Or oh, why is this like that? 00:08:41.081 --> 00:08:42.844 What are you going to say to the naysayers? 00:08:43.485 --> 00:08:46.448 It's just so terrible out there with social media. 00:08:46.448 --> 00:08:58.475 People are so mean behind their little computer like typing

away, just want to get at you and you know that you're never going to know who they are, where they're from or even their story and their pain or what they're going through. 00:08:58.475 --> 00:08:59.240 I just think about it. 00:08:59.240 --> 00:09:02.129 Ooh, they've just got to be going through some pain or a hard time. 00:09:02.129 --> 00:09:09.971 So I tried not to have it affect me so much with the naysayers but, gosh, they can be cruel. 00:09:09.971 --> 00:09:17.615 But then that's also just having that kind of like a little bit of a shield and having things like bounce off of you, and that's not easy. 00:09:17.615 --> 00:09:20.643 That's totally not easy. 00:09:21.062 --> 00:09:21.524 It's not. 00:09:21.524 --> 00:09:24.750 It's not especially in the industry that that you're. 00:09:24.750 --> 00:09:27.134 You're in because I totally get it. 00:09:27.134 --> 00:09:32.200 I used to do fashion shows and modeling and same thing and going for that, going for that, uh audition. 00:09:32.200 --> 00:09:40.525 You walk in all confident, you open the door and there's 50 people that looks just like you sitting in the room. 00:09:40.525 --> 00:09:44.996 You go oh, what do I got different than everybody sitting in this room? 00:09:45.618 --> 00:09:54.465 right, no, it's totally like that and then you go for you to understand right you're right, and then you get that call, but it's only a go see. 00:09:54.465 --> 00:10:06.889 Number two doesn't mean you got the part it's down the callback there's a callback and you're down to you and somebody else and then you don't get the part yeah, and I always tell people it's about the callback. 00:10:07.581 --> 00:10:22.241 So if you're getting callbacks, that means you're doing good, that means you're going to get a job soon, one day, right you just have to get the callbacks, because a lot of times with the callback I mean you may not be right for the part, when you actually, you know, go up for the part after the callback. 00:10:22.241 --> 00:10:26.494 So let's just explain you have the audition or the castings and then you have the callback. 00:10:26.494 --> 00:10:31.005 And with the callback you know that's when they're trying to determine who's really right for the role. 00:10:31.005 --> 00:10:33.491 So you may, it's not up to anything. 00:10:33.491 --> 00:10:38.446 If you don't get that callback right, you don't get that job, but it's so you can lead up to it. 00:10:38.446 --> 00:10:43.892 So just make sure you're honing your craft and getting your skills ready so that you can lead up to that. 00:10:44.813 --> 00:10:46.716 I'm going to ask you, Lisa, did you ever quit? 00:10:47.559 --> 00:10:50.321 For with the modeling, I never quit Acting. 00:10:50.321 --> 00:11:04.596 I kind of took a step back from acting after I had a few things happen and I just didn't feel like the business was right for me and I wanted to take another path, which is really difficult for me because all I wanted to do was acting. 00:11:04.596 --> 00:11:07.509 And I still look at it today and I'm like, oh, should I get back into it? 00:11:07.509 --> 00:11:16.283 People are like, oh, you should audition for this or that and I'm just like there's something about the entertainment and acting world I just don't. 00:11:16.283 --> 00:11:18.246 I've never really felt super comfortable with. 00:11:19.009 --> 00:11:25.572 I understand it's always there, but do you have talk about having great people around you, having that system? 00:11:25.572 --> 00:11:28.208 How do you find the great people in the system around you? 00:12:03.250 --> 00:12:19.372 That's not an easy one for me Because unfortunately I haven't had the best system and support in my life and I feel like it's taken me a lot harder to get to where I need to be emotionally and spiritually, just because sometimes I just haven't had that. 00:12:19.372 --> 00:12:21.696 I don't know, it's hard for me. 00:12:21.696 --> 00:12:28.772 I just haven't had that parental or family support, maybe just kind of the family that I was born into. 00:12:28.772 --> 00:12:39.846 That wasn't the, it wasn't, it wasn't what I had, and so it made my journey, I felt, like, a lot harder and it made you question yourself a lot more too. 00:12:39.846 --> 00:12:44.158 When you don't have that Cause, then you kind of think of well, where's, where's my worth come? 00:12:44.801 --> 00:12:46.065 from you know. 00:12:46.065 --> 00:12:58.699 So I think that's the most important thing in life is that you have your family supporting you and everything that you do, or, if it doesn't come from your family, right Having friends. 00:12:58.699 --> 00:12:59.663 You know that too. 00:13:00.575 --> 00:13:02.663 And you'll find out like listening to you talk. 00:13:02.663 --> 00:13:04.081 You'll find out after a while. 00:13:04.081 --> 00:13:10.980 You'll weed out the bad ones and the good ones will be there at the end of the day Like you've been through what you have and you're like you know something. 00:13:10.980 --> 00:13:14.177 I've been through this and you're not what I thought you were. 00:13:14.177 --> 00:13:15.480 I've been through this and you're not what I thought you were. 00:13:15.480 --> 00:13:16.581 Okay, you know nice to have you in my life. 00:13:16.581 --> 00:13:18.884 You learn something from you and then move on from that person. 00:13:19.666 --> 00:13:23.310 Oh, it's so true and it's so hard to do that because, you like, I'm just the person. 00:13:23.310 --> 00:13:27.853 I just kind of love my friends so much and I just hold onto them so dearly and I want them around. 00:13:27.853 --> 00:13:29.721 But there comes a time and family too. 00:13:29.721 --> 00:13:44.062 There comes a time I've with family and with friends, good friends that have said you know what, you know, I'm going to take a step back and I'm not going to have you in my life anymore and it's just like it's like a divorce to me, it's like devastating. 00:13:44.062 --> 00:13:46.503

You know, I have to understand it from their point of view. 00:13:46.503 --> 00:13:51.658 I just maybe they're going through something, or maybe this is something they have to deal with, Maybe it has nothing to do with me. 00:13:53.064 --> 00:14:02.389 All right, we're going to get to know you a little bit more. 00:14:02.389 --> 00:14:03.171 Let's have some fun. 00:14:03.171 --> 00:14:03.773 Here we go. 00:14:03.773 --> 00:14:04.334 It's time for rapid fire. 00:14:04.334 --> 00:14:06.375 I'm going to put two minutes on the clock. 00:14:06.375 --> 00:14:09.677 I love the face expression Two minutes on the clock. 00:14:09.677 --> 00:14:13.143 Here's the thing, though you get to ask your own questions. 00:14:13.143 --> 00:14:15.336 Here it is, you get to pick. 00:14:15.336 --> 00:14:16.117 Is it A, b, c or D? 00:14:16.117 --> 00:14:17.095 Those are the ones I'm going to ask your own questions. 00:14:17.095 --> 00:14:17.407 Oh, here it is, you get to pick. 00:14:17.407 --> 00:14:17.425 Is it a, b, c or d? 00:14:17.425 --> 00:14:17.841 And those are the ones. 00:14:17.841 --> 00:14:20.827 I'm going to ask you which ones you want a, b, c or d? 00:14:20.827 --> 00:14:22.812 Well, what's the question? 00:14:22.812 --> 00:14:23.836 I'm not telling you. 00:14:23.836 --> 00:14:26.084 Okay, c, c? 00:14:26.084 --> 00:14:26.887 All right, here we go. 00:14:26.887 --> 00:14:29.394 Two minutes starts on the clock when I ask you the first question. 00:14:29.394 --> 00:14:29.896 You're ready. 00:14:29.896 --> 00:14:31.036 All right, here we go. 00:14:31.036 --> 00:14:33.038 What's the best compliment you've ever? 00:14:33.077 --> 00:14:38.461 gotten Okay. 00:14:38.461 --> 00:14:41.344 So I like compliments that are about character. 00:14:41.344 --> 00:14:43.004 Those are what always makes me feel good. 00:14:43.004 --> 00:14:48.048 So if someone tells me I'm powerful, I've had someone tell me that I'm a very powerful person. 00:14:48.048 --> 00:14:56.074 It just looked at me one day how I affected people this was like literally 20 years ago and they said you know, you're a really powerful person. 00:14:56.514 --> 00:14:56.819 And it always stuck with me. 00:14:56.819 --> 00:14:57.239 This is like literally 20 years ago. 00:14:57.195 --> 00:14:58.291 And they said you know, you're a really powerful person and it always stuck with me. 00:14:58.291 --> 00:14:59.302 I was like, oh, that felt so good. 00:15:00.154 --> 00:15:01.258 What's the best part of your mornings? 00:15:03.084 --> 00:15:03.586 Meditation. 00:15:05.056 --> 00:15:06.442 What's the best advice you've ever received? 00:15:09.254 --> 00:15:11.740 Never compromise on your integrity. 00:15:13.283 --> 00:15:14.244 Worst fear. 00:15:15.326 --> 00:15:16.869 Spiders, I hate them. 00:15:20.016 --> 00:15:23.186 Dancing with Lady Gaga or dinner with Obama. 00:15:25.755 --> 00:15:26.800 Dinner with Obama. 00:15:26.800 --> 00:15:27.864 I want to learn things. 00:15:29.557 --> 00:15:30.421 What's your favorite ice

cream? 00:15:31.877 --> 00:15:33.363 I don't like ice cream. 00:15:33.363 --> 00:15:43.343 I'm not an ice cream person, but every now and then, if I ever am near a Haagen-Dazs, I always check to see if they have chocolate, chocolate, peanut butter, and nine times out of ten they don't. 00:15:43.343 --> 00:15:46.793 Every now and then they do, and I always get a cone. 00:15:46.793 --> 00:15:48.541 It doesn't matter where I am, I always get one. 00:15:48.862 --> 00:15:49.224 There you go. 00:15:49.224 --> 00:15:50.519 Favorite childhood memory. 00:15:50.519 --> 00:16:02.856 Well, we used to go boating a lot. 00:16:02.856 --> 00:16:06.524 My dad had a boat, a sailboat, and we used to go boating like in the panhandle in florida and I just I used to really enjoy that. 00:16:06.545 --> 00:16:07.586 Okay, what's your favorite drink? 00:16:07.606 --> 00:16:14.483 kombucha, ginger, ginger kombucha, your fondest memory as a kid, something that you always remember with smell, touch, touch, feel. 00:16:14.483 --> 00:16:16.447 When you see it, it reminds you of a little kid. 00:16:17.375 --> 00:16:26.327 When we lived in Belgium, we used to go to Tenerife it's a little Spanish island off the coast of Europe and Spain and stuff, and this was awesome. 00:16:26.327 --> 00:16:29.899 It had black sand beaches and I always remember that. 00:16:29.920 --> 00:16:30.922 All right. 00:16:30.922 --> 00:16:34.278 Last question I got to hear this one Are you good with budgeting? 00:16:35.302 --> 00:16:39.716 Yes, ah, I have question. 00:16:39.716 --> 00:16:40.941 I gotta hear this one are you good with budgeting? 00:16:40.941 --> 00:16:41.543 Yes, ah, I have to be. 00:16:41.543 --> 00:16:43.992 I'm a single parent with three kids that like to spend and shop and eat and all that stuff. 00:16:44.012 --> 00:16:44.694 So there you go. 00:16:44.694 --> 00:16:45.856 You made it through rapid fire. 00:16:45.856 --> 00:16:49.904 All right, I gotta ask this one. 00:16:49.904 --> 00:16:52.557 Actually, you're good with budgeting, but you're a fashion model. 00:16:52.557 --> 00:16:56.326 You should have all these clothes and fashion bags and all that stuff. 00:16:56.326 --> 00:16:57.377 So how do you do it then? 00:16:58.077 --> 00:16:59.040 oh, trust me, I do. 00:16:59.040 --> 00:17:05.219 Yes, but many years when I was, you know, raising my kids on my own, I just spent on my kids. 00:17:05.219 --> 00:17:10.338 You know, I did I barely, I barely spent that much on me you know, but that's over. 00:17:10.338 --> 00:17:24.060 Lately, lately, I've just been pouring into me, you know, and yeah, I've been getting those shoes or that bag, those bags, I or you know setting up the podcast studio and a little bit more on me and it actually feels really good. 00:17:24.514 --> 00:17:25.259 That's good to know. 00:17:25.259 --> 00:17:29.541 That's good to know Now here in your bio, that you guys sent over it's. 00:17:29.541 --> 00:17:32.868 Fashion is not all fun and glam and entertainment world. 00:17:32.868 --> 00:17:35.079 You want to talk about a little bit about that and let us know. 00:17:35.079 --> 00:17:36.423 You know, tell us your story. 00:17:37.505 --> 00:17:37.765 Yeah. 00:17:37.765 --> 00:17:50.756 So I mean I do think that the modeling entertainment business is very glamorous and rewarding and it feels good when you book that job and you're building your career. 00:17:50.756 --> 00:17:58.140 I mean, I just feel like there's nothing like it for those of us who are ambitious in that way and, you know, kind of want to be in the spotlight. 00:17:58.140 --> 00:18:04.158 But I feel with that it come there comes a lot of responsibility to. 00:18:04.158 --> 00:18:15.800 You know feel things out, be aware of the room and you know advocate for yourself and have a little bit of a sixth sense about things. 00:18:15.800 --> 00:18:19.204 And it takes a long time to learn that. 00:18:19.204 --> 00:18:21.168 We don't always learn that in our youth. 00:18:21.168 --> 00:18:30.394 But you know experiences will build on that and through that you'll kind of figure your way and maneuver your way through this business a little bit easier. 00:18:31.214 --> 00:18:44.093 So I'm looking at your bio and then you know you talked about things that happen in the industry, like sex trafficking and all this stuff, and then we learn about OK, what can you learn from it and how do you move on from that? 00:18:44.093 --> 00:18:47.944 Sort of things Like what did you do and how do you learn in teaching others? 00:18:47.985 --> 00:18:52.306 right now, Well, unfortunately, I had to learn the hard way about things. 00:18:52.306 --> 00:19:25.722 So I had something happen to me, you know, when I started out as a model and then I kind of suppressed it for a long time, and then, when I started speaking out about it, I realized that there were predators out there who were who were wanting to prey on people who were vulnerable, and so I had this like light bulb moment of just like I need to speak about this, not just because of what happened to me years ago, but because it's still happening as you hit your 30s and 40s and women when they go through vulnerable times. 00:19:25.722 --> 00:19:29.990 There are people out there who want to emulate or copy these predators. 00:19:29.990 --> 00:19:31.240 They want to be like them. 00:19:31.240 --> 00:19:42.946 So I created this podcast that is not about the predators but about teaching people about them and the education behind it, and through telling my story. 00:19:43.047 --> 00:19:50.999 One thing I and and that's one thing I wanted you why I wanted you on my show, it's because you didn't let it stop you. 00:19:50.999 --> 00:19:54.708 You said, okay, learn from it, help others and move to the next level. 00:19:54.708 --> 00:20:01.020 Because a lot of people are like, okay, that's it, I'm done, I'm never going to move forward, I'm not going to do nothing new, I'm going to be stuck where I am. 00:20:01.020 -->

00:20:04.806 But you're taking and say, okay, no things happen, how do you move on? 00:20:04.806 --> 00:20:10.027 And then it's not going to happen right away, but it does happen. 00:20:18.454 --> 00:20:19.579 If you don't mind me asking how long did it take you? 00:20:19.579 --> 00:20:20.082 What was your process? 00:20:20.082 --> 00:20:20.584 So how long did it? 00:20:20.604 --> 00:20:21.006 take me to speak out. 00:20:21.026 --> 00:20:22.089 So maybe I should tell a little bit of my story first. 00:20:22.089 --> 00:20:23.655 Go ahead, okay, because then that'll answer that question. 00:20:23.655 --> 00:20:35.425 So when I was a model, I left Europe and I started working in Miami and then I made it to New York city and from there I had booked a really awesome job. 00:20:35.425 --> 00:20:36.969 I was shooting a cover of a magazine. 00:20:36.969 --> 00:20:45.077 It was in the British West Indies, so I flew there with another model and we had a break in our shooting schedule. 00:20:45.077 --> 00:20:50.498 We were there for a few days and the other model was like I know this incredible guy who owns an island. 00:20:50.498 --> 00:20:52.441 We've got a free day, let's go. 00:20:52.740 --> 00:21:03.725 And so, long story short, I agreed I went over to this Island it ended up being little St James Jeffrey Epstein's Island and I met him there. 00:21:03.725 --> 00:21:41.337 Everything was great, had a lot of fun, and then I ended up at the end of the evening having to do a massage that turned into an abusive massage, and so we left the island the next morning and went back to the shoot, went back to New York and just kind of started like wanting to just suppress that memory it was a terrible memory for me and went through a few things in those years and then still kind of suppressed it and didn't want to talk about it. 00:21:41.337 --> 00:21:48.577 Nobody really talked about those things back then, even friends that I had also had abuse from the same person. 00:21:48.577 --> 00:22:01.585 But it wasn't until 2019, until he died, and I had this reaction to it, you know, and I had heard, obviously, about the underage girls in Florida and stuff like that. 00:22:01.585 --> 00:22:06.981 So I'd already put in my mind like this is a very bad person, so I didn't want to think about it so much. 00:22:08.004 --> 00:22:17.826 And then in 2019, when he passed away, that's when this flood of emotions came over me and I just wanted to figure it out, like what happened to me back then? 00:22:18.607 --> 00:22:19.470 What did I go through? 00:22:20.615 --> 00:22:29.746 Because for many years I would just have this thing about Jeffrey Epstein of just oh, he was a good guy, you know, and I just kind of didn't want to talk about what really happened. 00:22:30.855 --> 00:22:59.329 And so I started seeing all these women speaking out about him and so I just reached out to them and I was just wanting to talk to them and they were very open and we kind of had this we, this um WhatsApp group, a lot of women in it, and I just wanted to, because during that time I had no support the person I was with at that time didn't offer me any support when I started speaking out, and so I just felt really lonely and I didn't feel like I had anyone. 00:22:59.329 --> 00:23:35.722 And so I just connected with these survivor sisters because we had the same type of stories sense of self again and building who I was with that story and just taking that shame and and I'm trying to understand it and trying to figure out what was my part in it and realizing that I was innocent and going through therapy and just doing the work on myself, by myself really, but with the help of the the other survivors. 00:23:35.722 --> 00:23:46.738 So that was just what did it for me over those years was just reconnecting with myself and then connecting with them, just trying to understand what I went through. 00:23:47.821 --> 00:23:50.247 And then the courage that you have now to speak about it. 00:23:50.247 --> 00:23:53.368 You know, you got this beautiful smile on and we talk and we. 00:23:53.368 --> 00:23:55.637 You know you're doing your podcast and you're doing your show. 00:23:55.637 --> 00:24:00.092 What was the light bulb for you to say you know something, I'm doing a show. 00:24:00.092 --> 00:24:01.817 This is something we got to get out there. 00:24:01.817 --> 00:24:06.259 I love being on camera like you do your thing, you know how to be behind camera and this and it all fits. 00:24:06.259 --> 00:24:12.880 When did that light bulb come on to say enough's enough, I'm going to jump into action well, that took some time. 00:24:14.182 --> 00:24:15.384 That definitely took took some time. 00:24:15.384 --> 00:24:20.885 It was a couple of years, kind of doing documentaries, talking about other people's stories and not really mine. 00:24:20.885 --> 00:24:25.162 And then I started talking a little bit more about mine. 00:24:25.162 --> 00:24:29.822 But then I would just start crying, you know, and I was like I didn't know how to handle it. 00:24:29.822 --> 00:24:32.515 And I'm not a crier Like for years. 00:24:32.515 --> 00:24:33.654 I don't cry about anything. 00:24:33.654 --> 00:24:35.336 I'm a strong woman, you know. 00:24:35.336 --> 00:24:39.557 But every time I would talk about my story I would just like couldn't keep it together. 00:24:39.557 --> 00:24:41.717 So I need to work on that. 00:24:41.717 --> 00:24:46.979 And I realized there's a lot of pain in there and I just needed to get to that place. 00:24:46.979 --> 00:24:51.860 So I started doing EMDR therapy and that was what really worked for me. 00:24:51.860 --> 00:25:03.093 And month after month well, week after week after week I've been in for seven months straight I got to a place where I could understand, really understand what I went through. 00:25:04.060 --> 00:25:14.201 And it wasn't just from being abused by Jeffrey Epstein in the early 2000s, it was choosing relationships that didn't end

well, you know. 00:25:14.201 --> 00:25:35.684 And just, I had twoto-back relationships that just were terrible and I was like why am I choosing these men that are just narcissistic or, you know, or just don't treat me well and it was just humiliating and hurtful and I just I just couldn't understand why I was going through these relationships. 00:25:35.684 --> 00:25:48.544 So I went through one that was bad and then went through another one where I chose a guy who literally saw me on a documentary and then picked me out and and was like wanting to be in a relationship with me, and all my friends were saying, isn't this weird? 00:25:48.544 --> 00:25:51.641 Like he saw you going through abuse and he wants to be in a relationship with you. 00:25:51.641 --> 00:25:56.331 But I'm like, but he cares about me and he loves me and I don't have anyone else but him. 00:25:56.331 --> 00:26:07.567 And he was my best friend and he was like this religious guy and so I just thought, oh, I met the man who was like my best friend, who was caring about me, and it was a terrible relationship. 00:26:07.567 --> 00:26:21.041 He ended up being like this sociopath who was like tricking me into submission and wanting to be in a relationship with me, but really wanting to abuse me the same way Jeffrey did. 00:26:21.041 --> 00:26:25.413 And I went through this horrible relationship where I just couldn't get out of. 00:26:25.413 --> 00:26:27.202 It just was so bad. 00:26:28.046 --> 00:26:30.573 That was the reason why I wanted to speak out. 00:26:30.573 --> 00:26:44.324 It was because I was choosing bad relationships, because of my shame and what I went through with Jeffrey and I'm not a victim and I'm not blaming myself. 00:26:44.324 --> 00:26:45.548 I'm not a victim because I was choosing. 00:26:45.548 --> 00:26:57.145 I just wanted to understand why was I choosing this narcissistic man who I love so much, gave me no respect and then I chose him so, basically, who just wanted to abuse me and then literally just tore my whole family apart. 00:26:57.145 --> 00:27:04.466 You know we were scared of this man, so I was like enough is enough. 00:27:04.466 --> 00:27:06.313 It happened to me when I was young, but why is it still happening to me? 00:27:06.313 --> 00:27:06.996 And I'm 40s now? 00:27:06.996 --> 00:27:07.458 I'm in my 40s now. 00:27:07.458 --> 00:27:10.644 So I feel like abuse. 00:27:12.386 --> 00:27:18.596 It's a lot of layers to abuse and I don't want to be a victim about it. 00:27:18.596 --> 00:27:24.370 I want to be a survivor and I want to say hey, you know what I make mistakes, people make mistakes. 00:27:24.370 --> 00:27:29.653 But there are predators out there, you know, and they have a different take on things. 00:27:29.653 --> 00:27:31.420 They're not a normal guy. 00:27:31.420 --> 00:27:32.202 They really want to abuse and hurt you. 00:27:32.202 --> 00:27:35.112 They really want to see you go through something terrible because they have a lot of shame and they're going through terrible things too. 00:27:35.112 --> 00:27:36.134 Not really want to abuse and hurt you. 00:27:36.134 --> 00:27:49.886 They really want to see you go through something terrible because they have a lot of shame and they're going through terrible things too, not to excuse their behavior, but they've got a lot of pain inside of them, so let's understand them, but through the, through the survivor's eyes. 00:27:49.886 --> 00:28:14.063 And so, speaking out to other survivors, especially right now, Bill Cosby, harvey Weinstein, jeffrey Epstein, sean Diddy, combs, and tons of music industry people and entertainment people who are predators, they're out there and I have, I mean, thousands of survivors under those men that I've just said thousands, because each one has hundreds. 00:28:15.066 --> 00:28:16.208 I was like we got to do this. 00:28:16.208 --> 00:28:21.346 Somebody's got to create a podcast, you know, where the survivors speak out. 00:28:21.346 --> 00:28:23.982 Somebody's got to do it and everyone's like no, no, no, lisa, that's you. 00:28:23.982 --> 00:28:26.230 And I'm like oh, no, no, no, no, no, I can't handle that. 00:28:26.230 --> 00:28:27.643 No, no, lisa, that's you. 00:28:27.643 --> 00:28:28.545 Nobody wanted to do it. 00:28:28.545 --> 00:28:40.123 So I just said I've got to do this, I've got to do this, I've got to do this. 00:28:40.123 --> 00:28:41.185 So I got to figure out how am I going to do this? 00:28:41.185 --> 00:28:44.074 Because I'm still going through my story, you know, and I'm still building up my courage. 00:28:44.094 --> 00:28:48.267 I still don't have that much support, family support I don't have. 00:28:48.267 --> 00:28:51.673 I never had a boyfriend supporting me in this kind of thing. 00:28:51.673 --> 00:28:53.961 They all just turned. 00:28:53.961 --> 00:29:00.770 They all just turned their like hand to me, like my boyfriend, that I had just put his hand up to me and said I don't want to hear about it. 00:29:00.770 --> 00:29:09.711 You know, I don't want anything to do with it and I understand like some men don't want to deal with women's pain, but I needed to be around someone who needed who I needed. 00:29:09.711 --> 00:29:12.057 I needed that, okay. 00:29:12.057 --> 00:29:13.682 So the sociopath guy didn't work out. 00:29:13.682 --> 00:29:20.262 He was a, he was a fake supporter, and so I literally haven't really dated since then. 00:29:20.262 --> 00:29:27.425 It's been two years and I haven't really dated since then because the right person will come into my life who's going to be the right support for me. 00:29:27.425 --> 00:29:33.832 So I leaned on the Survivor Sisters and that kind of support and that's how the podcast came about. 00:29:35.923 --> 00:29:38.049 Do you believe that the podcast actually is helping you? 00:29:40.804 --> 00:29:45.192 Oh gosh, I've had two breakdowns during that podcast telling my story. 00:29:45.192 --> 00:29:47.682 It's not easy to speak out, it just

isn't. 00:29:47.682 --> 00:29:55.183 Even things that are 20 years ago, even things that are still on my mind from two years ago. 00:29:55.183 --> 00:30:01.443 It's not easy to speak out about your shame because people judge and people blame you, which is okay. 00:30:01.443 --> 00:30:09.345 You know, I'm not perfect, I make mistakes, but I just believe in the empowerment of other people. 00:30:09.345 --> 00:30:13.421 I say people because it's mostly women, but there's men who are abused too yes, 100. 00:30:14.142 --> 00:30:17.524 So we have to find what we can do. 00:30:17.524 --> 00:30:20.185 Take a balance, learn from it. 00:30:20.185 --> 00:30:25.149 Because, listening to your story, like you say, okay, you know you found other people doing the same thing. 00:30:25.149 --> 00:30:30.673 Then this is your calling because they're saying, yo, no, you're the person that needs to do the podcast. 00:30:30.673 --> 00:30:33.014 You're like I don't know about that, I'm doing it, but you're like, okay. 00:30:33.014 --> 00:30:45.165 Then you're finding out so many other people that things happen to you're, you're building a relationship, but then to me and I could be wrong and tell me if I'm wrong the show is actually helping you, you know. 00:30:45.165 --> 00:30:46.489 I mean you're getting to that next level. 00:30:46.489 --> 00:30:47.091 It's helping you. 00:30:47.091 --> 00:30:54.843 You took the chance, you jumped into action and now great things are happening you know, it's so crazy how it works like that, right. 00:30:54.863 --> 00:30:57.615 It's just so crazy how it works like that, right, it's just so crazy how it works like that. 00:30:57.615 --> 00:31:16.362 Yes, it was a big deal and a big thing to take on a podcast like this, but through it is the healing process for me Speaking to other survivors and listening to their stories and realizing, wow, that's what I went through or I can relate to that. 00:31:16.362 --> 00:31:18.284 That's what I went through or that's I can relate to, that it's. 00:31:18.284 --> 00:31:24.809 It's just, it's so empowering empowering and it's so uplifting and healing. 00:31:25.391 --> 00:31:26.251 So what's what's next? 00:31:26.251 --> 00:31:27.053 What's what's the? 00:31:27.053 --> 00:31:27.673 What's the future? 00:31:27.673 --> 00:31:29.996 Where do you see this going now, cause, how many episodes have you done? 00:31:29.996 --> 00:31:37.841 13. 00:31:37.841 --> 00:31:38.806 All right, so you know they always say a podcast. 00:31:38.806 --> 00:31:40.473 If you can get over 50 podcasts and then your hundred podcasts, you're on a roll. 00:31:40.473 --> 00:31:40.895 You know what I mean. 00:31:40.895 --> 00:31:42.721 The first couple are always hard and you know they want to stop. 00:31:43.223 --> 00:31:43.423 Yeah. 00:31:44.026 --> 00:31:46.579 You're, you're getting there, so where do you want to see it going? 00:31:46.579 --> 00:31:47.921 After the 50th podcast. 00:31:48.302 --> 00:31:50.743 I just still want

it to be about empowering and healing. 00:31:50.743 --> 00:31:57.289 I mean, there's a lot of stories out there, so it's going to continue for a while, but it's not just about woes me. 00:31:57.289 --> 00:31:58.331 Here's my story. 00:31:58.331 --> 00:32:03.796 You know, I want to be a Debbie Downer and it's not about that See my smile. 00:32:03.796 --> 00:32:11.280 It's about we went through something. 00:32:11.280 --> 00:32:12.363 We have to own the good, bad, the ugly. 00:32:12.363 --> 00:32:13.384 We have to own it Right and it's it's. 00:32:13.384 --> 00:32:14.887 It's just about embracing it. 00:32:14.887 --> 00:32:22.946 This is what happened and this is what I learned from it and this is how I'm going to help you, this is how I'm going to empower you and this is how I'm going to heal you. 00:32:22.946 --> 00:32:50.535 So, yeah, it might mold and shift and change as time goes on, but it's not going to change until people get it, until I start seeing that people get it and they understand the victim turned survivor and they understand the grooming that goes on, how powerful grooming is and how it just completely takes over your mind and the manipulation. 00:32:51.661 --> 00:32:53.268 People can be easily manipulated. 00:32:53.268 --> 00:32:57.049 You know when you're vulnerable, when you're going through things, when you need to hear. 00:32:57.049 --> 00:33:01.572 You need to hear things from people, and then you have the ambition, you have goals. 00:33:01.572 --> 00:33:07.072 A lot of times, this career and these goals are bigger than the grooming, because you want that. 00:33:07.072 --> 00:33:14.544 You know it's not for the people who are just sitting at home, you know, making horrible comments. 00:33:14.544 --> 00:33:21.165 It's for the, it's for the believer in yourself, it's for the dreamer, it's for the people who have ambition, like you doing a podcast. 00:33:21.165 --> 00:33:29.485 You're ambitious, you're the ones who want to be out there, you want to create change, and those people who are doing that, those are the ones who actually can get prayed on easier. 00:33:30.168 --> 00:33:33.602 Because you have that big goal Right and they see something in you. 00:33:33.602 --> 00:33:34.304 You're different. 00:33:34.304 --> 00:33:39.894 I just was doing a podcast just before yours and we talked about having that gift. 00:33:39.894 --> 00:33:43.019 I believe that you know God gives you that gift. 00:33:43.019 --> 00:33:46.468 Everybody has a certain gift, something special about you, unique. 00:33:46.468 --> 00:33:48.451 Whatever, you know what your gift is. 00:33:49.680 --> 00:33:50.882 Yes, everyone has that gift. 00:33:50.882 --> 00:33:52.203 Everyone has it. 00:33:52.203 --> 00:33:57.552 My gift, I think, is that I am very connected to people. 00:33:57.552 --> 00:34:00.461 I have just always felt that since I was little. 00:34:00.461 --> 00:34:07.843 I just feel like maybe that's why I'm good at listening and I'm the one to do the podcast, but I don't. 00:34:07.843 --> 00:34:08.688 It doesn't matter where I am. 00:34:08.688 --> 00:34:10.761 I'm going through line at Trey or Joe's and people talk to me. 00:34:10.761 --> 00:34:11.924 I sit and listen to them. 00:34:11.924 --> 00:34:24.007 You know, even when I got somewhere to be, you know, a lot of times I just have empathy and I listen to people and I want to hear those stories. 00:34:24.007 --> 00:34:27.954 You know, sometimes, you know walking and I see homeless and I just feel like, oh, where did their life go wrong? 00:34:27.954 --> 00:34:28.395 What happened to them? 00:34:34.259 --> 00:34:35.906 Sometimes I want to give them a water bottle or some money. 00:34:35.906 --> 00:34:37.673 You know, and I, just, I, just, I think I feel for people and that's my gift, all right. 00:34:37.673 --> 00:34:41.665 So I'm taking you back, putting you in a big mirror and what do you say yourself in that mirror? 00:34:41.665 --> 00:34:45.482 When you talk to Lisa and Lisa's talking back to you, what does Lisa say? 00:34:46.766 --> 00:34:51.460 Oh, I always say I'm proud of you, Always, Because nobody really said that to me growing up. 00:34:51.460 --> 00:34:53.803 You know, and when people say it to me, I even get teary eyed. 00:34:53.803 --> 00:34:55.445 Right now People say it to me. 00:34:55.445 --> 00:34:57.548 It just oh, it touches me so deeply. 00:34:57.548 --> 00:34:59.050 My kids say it to me. 00:34:59.050 --> 00:34:59.550 I even get teary eyed. 00:34:59.550 --> 00:35:00.652 Right now People say it to me. 00:35:00.652 --> 00:35:02.074 It just oh, it touches me so deeply. 00:35:02.074 --> 00:35:03.616 My kids say it to me. 00:35:03.616 --> 00:35:05.158 It's like everything, Like it's just everything to me. 00:35:06.799 --> 00:35:09.021 You know, I just need to say that and I say it to other people too, because they don't hear it often either. 00:35:09.021 --> 00:35:09.961 Right, all right, and let's plug. 00:35:09.961 --> 00:35:13.684 Tell everybody where they can catch your podcast, Tell them, tell them from now on. 00:35:14.745 --> 00:35:22.610 So Spotify, apple, wherever you listen to your podcast and on YouTube it's a video podcast, so it's on YouTube from now. 00:35:22.610 --> 00:35:22.790 On. 00:35:22.790 --> 00:35:24.391 Pod, check it out. 00:35:24.391 --> 00:35:28.214 It's a meaningful, empowering, beautiful podcast. 00:35:46.539 --> 00:35:47.583 Before we let you go, let's have some more fun. 00:35:47.583 --> 00:35:48.286 Here we go now time for pick three. 00:35:48.286 --> 00:35:49.009 You get to ask three more questions. 00:35:49.009 --> 00:35:52.841 Pick the numbers between one and ten, and those are going to be the last three questions I asked before I let you go. 00:35:52.841 --> 00:36:02.705 Give me three numbers between one and ten well, eight, my favorite number seven and three eight, seven, three, all right. 00:36:02.705 --> 00:36:05.952 What superpower do you wish you had, and why? 00:36:07.781 -->

00:36:09.884 superpower patience. 00:36:09.884 --> 00:36:12.527 That's one thing in virtue. 00:36:12.527 --> 00:36:13.509 I'm not that great at it. 00:36:13.509 --> 00:36:16.592 I'm getting better at it, but I'm not that patient with things. 00:36:20.199 --> 00:36:22.103 It's on things quickly Get it done. 00:36:22.103 --> 00:36:22.504 Let's go. 00:36:22.504 --> 00:36:23.245 Why is it happening? 00:36:23.245 --> 00:36:24.167 Why is it taking so long? 00:36:24.167 --> 00:36:31.587 All right, number seven, give us a book or course that really helped you right now in life. 00:36:31.928 --> 00:36:32.630 Think and Grow Rich. 00:36:32.630 --> 00:36:34.404 I always go back to it. 00:36:34.404 --> 00:36:35.824 I always go back to it. 00:36:35.824 --> 00:36:43.761 It's just one of my favorite books. 00:36:43.761 --> 00:36:44.403 I've read it a gazillion times. 00:36:44.403 --> 00:36:46.290 You have to really read it a lot of times to really understand it, but I have. 00:36:46.290 --> 00:36:47.735 I feel like I've created my life through reading that book. 00:36:47.735 --> 00:36:48.879 It's been very powerful for me. 00:36:49.539 --> 00:36:50.861 Interesting, good choice. 00:36:50.861 --> 00:36:54.167 All right, here's the last question Past or present? 00:36:54.167 --> 00:36:58.674 If you can follow somebody for 48 hours, who would it be and why? 00:37:00.547 --> 00:37:01.692 past or present? 00:37:01.692 --> 00:37:02.474 Oh, I would. 00:37:02.474 --> 00:37:03.719 I would love to follow oprah. 00:37:03.719 --> 00:37:10.134 I know, I know it's a weird choice, I know, but I love her. 00:37:10.134 --> 00:37:17.090 I just love her resilience and she also went through hard times, you know, and that's the woman that she's created today. 00:37:17.090 --> 00:37:19.282 I just feel like she's just an incredible person. 00:37:19.282 --> 00:37:22.490 I would just literally love to follow her around for 48 hours. 00:37:23.759 --> 00:37:29.572 Okay, so let's go back in time and follow yourself for 48 hours, the little girl in you. 00:37:29.572 --> 00:37:34.800 You know, if you can go back in time to little girl in you, what would you walk around and tell that little girl? 00:37:36.063 --> 00:37:43.127 Oh boy, I would tell that little girl walking around let's just take Jeffrey's Island. 00:37:43.127 --> 00:38:16.263 If I was on that island for those 48 hours that I went from my photo shoot to that island, I will tell that girl that it's okay to say no and it's okay to say that this is not a good situation for me and, no matter the circumstances, that I don't have to do what anyone tells me that I have to do or need to do, and it doesn't matter if I'm trapped on the Island, I would take a few steps back and I would just do everything I could to get the heck out of there. 00:38:16.263 --> 00:38:30.815 So whenever anyone's in a situation where you feel like you are trapped, I would suggest just having that power inside of you to take another, take a stand, stay firm and say no and walk away. 00:38:31.517 --> 00:38:34.685 Do you think peer pressure is a thing that we've grown up? 00:38:34.685 --> 00:38:38.583 Like you know, we talked about social media, the kids and everything, and I remember me growing up. 00:38:38.583 --> 00:38:41.817 I don't smoke or drink, but I remember growing up. 00:38:41.817 --> 00:38:45.367 Everybody's like yo, you don't smoke, you don't drink here, take a shot, try it, take a shot. 00:38:45.367 --> 00:38:46.810 I'm like no, I'm good. 00:38:46.810 --> 00:38:48.722 I'm good and you know. 00:38:48.722 --> 00:38:53.500 You find out who your real friends are, because after a while people like, oh no, he doesn't drink. 00:38:53.500 --> 00:38:54.482 No, leave chuck alone. 00:38:54.482 --> 00:38:57.247 Oh, truck here, here's some ginger ale like you find it. 00:38:57.247 --> 00:39:02.838 But talk to everybody about the prayer pressures oh, peer pressures is huge. 00:39:03.279 --> 00:39:04.481 I mean, everybody goes through it. 00:39:04.481 --> 00:39:16.261 But, like again I just said, just just stand your ground, know what you want, what your principles are, what your morals are, and just always have you know something to say about it. 00:39:16.261 --> 00:39:17.994 Like I always tell my son he's a basketball player, you know something to say about it. 00:39:17.994 --> 00:39:19.381 Like I always tell my son he's a basketball player. 00:39:19.381 --> 00:39:24.505 You know, when someone's handing a beer or something, just to say, like I'm an athlete, you know I can't do that. 00:39:24.505 --> 00:39:26.891 Say something about yourself. 00:39:26.891 --> 00:39:29.584 That's what people say oh, okay, you know. 00:39:29.584 --> 00:39:34.062 Just don't say no, say say you know I'm on a, I'm on a different path right now. 00:39:34.062 --> 00:39:40.252 That's not what I'm doing right now, something that defines who you are, and usually people will say okay, okay, gotcha. 00:39:40.877 --> 00:39:41.219 Yeah, yeah. 00:39:41.219 --> 00:39:46.610 When you add the affirmation, you tell them what's what and say, no, no, I'm on a journey, this is why I'm doing this. 00:39:46.610 --> 00:39:48.253 They're like, oh, okay, yeah. 00:39:48.253 --> 00:39:52.923 So let me ask you this before we let you go what does success mean to you? 00:39:52.923 --> 00:39:54.127 What does success mean to you? 00:39:54.889 --> 00:39:55.210 Freedom. 00:39:55.210 --> 00:39:57.076 Success means freedom. 00:39:57.076 --> 00:39:59.020 To me, that's the only word. 00:39:59.020 --> 00:40:05.973 It means to me, it's just being able to do whatever you love to do when you want to do it. 00:40:05.973 --> 00:40:09.709 You're not working for somebody else and someone else not telling you what to do. 00:40:09.709 --> 00:40:15.865 When you are successful, then you have the right to choose what you want to do with your life and you're on your own path. 00:40:15.865 --> 00:40:17.899 And that's freedom all right. 00:40:17.920 --> 00:40:19.443 So I like boss lisa. 00:40:19.443 --> 00:40:20.105 That's right there. 00:40:20.105 --> 00:40:22.289 Yeah, the boss all right. 00:40:22.289 --> 00:40:25.763 So before we let you go, do you want to give a shout out to anybody? 00:40:25.763 --> 00:40:26.746 This is your time. 00:40:26.746 --> 00:40:28.940 Give a shout out or any message you want to tell everybody. 00:40:29.281 --> 00:40:37.088 This is your moment, go ahead oh, the only person I can think about to give a shout out to, besides my lovely children, is sim Lilchuck. 00:40:37.088 --> 00:40:59.360 She was the I went through the Jeff, the JP Morgan fund for for the victims and she took the time to speak to all of us and it was just an empowering moment for me that she actually took the time to sit and listen to my story at not just for me but all the survivors of Jeffrey Epstein, and I will always remember that lady. 00:40:59.360 --> 00:41:15.281 I just she, just she was life-changing for me and through that she also gave us therapy like free therapy for a couple of years, and without that I would have never have been able to have these life-changing moments that would have encouraged me and empowered me to do the podcast. 00:41:15.281 --> 00:41:19.983 So I just would love to give a shout out to Simone Lilchak. 00:41:20.625 --> 00:41:21.126 There you go. 00:41:21.126 --> 00:41:23.952 Well, listen, thank you so much for being on the show. 00:41:23.952 --> 00:41:28.851 It was a pleasure, and I'm going to tell you this keep smiling, because I can see every time you smile. 00:41:28.851 --> 00:41:30.340 Everything comes around you. 00:41:30.340 --> 00:41:31.301 So just keep smiling. 00:41:31.761 --> 00:41:33.463 Oh, thank you All. 00:41:33.463 --> 00:41:34.083 Right, everybody. 00:41:34.564 --> 00:41:37.707 No worries, everybody told you you didn't have to listen, you didn't have to watch. 00:41:37.707 --> 00:41:38.488 I'm so glad you did. 00:41:38.488 --> 00:41:43.873 But here's the thing, though you never know what someone's going through, you know they're walking by, they're in the street, they're anything. 00:41:43.873 --> 00:41:51.063 I always tell everybody just say hi, give somebody a smile, give them a wave. 00:41:51.063 --> 00:41:51.605 You never know what. 00:41:53.026 --> 00:41:53.888 Thank you for listening. 00:41:53.888 --> 00:41:57.875 If you liked the show or have a comment, we would love to hear from you. 00:41:57.875 --> 00:42:02.731 Join our mailing list and, as always, check out our special deals links below. 00:42:02.731 --> 00:42:07.010 I hope this has inspired you to look at your life and jump. 00:42:07.010 --> 00:42:08.259 See you next week. 00:42:08.259 --> 00:42:38.730 Thank you.