TRANSKRIBEERI 🔗
WEBVTT
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Welcome, everyone. Happy Thursday. My name is
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Dean Sirwin. I'm the chair of the new wellness
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section here at the Beverly Hills Bar. As many
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of you may know, we have a competency requirement
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for CLE, and we need two hours of that. and wellness
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is now an optional choice for that. So welcome
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to have you here. I'm really excited about this
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program myself because I've known Philip now
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for going on six years and it's exciting to have
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him here. So before we get into that, let's do
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a little housekeeping. So as I mentioned, there's
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the competence. requirement, those special things,
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ethics, competence, et cetera, that we need for
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our MCLE. And those of us in the group three
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were due up, I forget if it's March 1st or March
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31st, they made a change this year. That's what
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these programs are about. But these programs
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are also about just providing us with useful
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information. And I think many of them are fun.
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That's the thing I love about this. As you all
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know, around this time of year, we get all bombarded
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with those emails to get your 25 hours on for
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$79 .99. And the stuff they send you is pretty
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much usually old, boring, poorly created. VHBA,
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we have one to three programs a day for your
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MCLE. If there's a new case that comes down,
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a new ruling that comes down, a new law that's
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passed that's important, we're going to have
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a program up on it, usually within a week. So
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watch this space. Also, this program is being
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recorded. and will be in the BHBA On Demand program,
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which is, if you've not looked at it before,
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it's kind of like YouTube for MCLE programs,
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where everything is there, at least for a year,
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some of them a little longer, but you can go
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back, rewatch this program, send your friends
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to watch this program, go and look for other
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programs. I need my ethics credit. I'll be going
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in there looking for a good ethics program to
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watch. And then when you do watch these programs
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either live or through the on -demand, it'll
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be logged in your own personal locker when it
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comes time to do the MCLE compliance. It's a
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couple of clicks and you're done. It's a fantastic
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system. I'm very proud of the HBA. for having
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it. And as many of you know, we're now open.
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We can provide MCLE for every state that requires
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it. I believe there's still two states that don't
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actually require continuing education. But so
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if you have friends that are in other jurisdictions,
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other states, they can come in here and watch
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our programs. So with that, I'm going to introduce
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today's program, Introductions for the Human
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Operating System for Lawyers and Law Firms. And
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our speaker today, very excited, Philip Folsom,
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is an anthropologist, US Army veteran, and author
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recognized as a leader in organizational culture,
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development, and resiliency. I've got that book
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on my desk right here, actually. He lectures
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at USC's Marshall School of Business and serves
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as president of Wolf Tribe, an international
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consulting agency providing transformational
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leadership, cultural development, and executive
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coaching to organizations, including SpaceX,
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Google, Disney, and Red Bull, where he sits on
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the high -performance board. A dynamic and sought
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-after speaker, Philip is also the co -founder
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of the Valor Resiliency Program and the K -4
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School of Men's Work. which is how I know him.
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Again, thank you for being here, Philip. I'm
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going to stick around. I'm going to go off camera.
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I forgot to mention, if you have questions, put
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them in the Q &A. Also check the chat. There
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will be the course materials. Your certificate
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for this program will show up any time within
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minutes to a day after. There we go. Suzanne
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has just posted the link again. And again, if
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you have
Load full transcript
any questions, post them in the Q &A
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and take it away, Philip. Yes. All right. Dean,
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you look as cool, maybe cooler than ever. And
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everybody else out there in the interweb, it's
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a pleasure and honor to be here with you this
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morning, unpacking some things that for many
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anthropologists are central for our ability to
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thrive as individuals and organizations. And
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just a little background on me. I'm also an Army
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veteran and my So it existed in a high stress,
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high pressure, competitive culture. And the work
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that we're going to be doing addresses the ability
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to continue on an ongoing basis in the high stress,
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high pressure fields, which is about resiliency.
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And that's kind of the wellness application of
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this. But there's also then the success drivers.
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which are profitability, innovation, competitiveness,
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efficiency, engagement, retention. These are
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all things that drive the bottom line of organizations
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and the entirety of my career is designed to
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level up both of those dynamics, our psychology
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and our success. This is why I'm on the planet
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and it's an absolute pleasure to be here with
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you all. I'm going to and it's kind of weird
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not seeing people on here. And my guess is you
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guys can't see each other. So I and I have been
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on a lot of bad, you know, zoom webinar things
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where it's easy to multitask and and not not
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to engage. So I want to challenge everybody that
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today's topics are very powerful. They're very
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old battle -tested technology, and it will radically
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transform your engagement, your resiliency with
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yourself and your team, and also your performance.
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This is a core theory set around culture. So
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I want to encourage everybody to take some notes.
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I have included a big packet of information,
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which is a a digital workbook for you to digest
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and deep dive this topic. But whenever I'm teaching
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a class, number one, I always encourage people
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to sit up front in the class because that way
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you're going to be more engaged. And what I've
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noticed is that successful students, usually
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older students in my classes at Marshall, they're
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the ones that sit up front because they want
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to get something out of their time. The students
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that sit in the back, they're there because they
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have to be. And I know that there's both type
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of those folks here today. Some of you have to
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just be here because you have to be. But those
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of you who actually want to get something out
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of today, sit in the front of the class, which
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really means engage with that Q &A. I'm going
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to try to look at it as often as possible. And
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then take some notes. This is the big one. We
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have always. created the universe with our words.
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It's the way we draw order out of chaos because
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it's experiential and it's kinetic and it's symbolic.
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So our retention and our integration of information
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substantially improves when we take some notes.
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And I'm going to be giving you guys a hay bale,
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a master class level of information, and we only
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have an hour to get through some big topics today.
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And there's also going to be a short assessment
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that we're going to be doing kind of live and
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interactive, where we're going to be exploring
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what our identity, our psychology, our role in
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the pack and the tribe is. So you're going to
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need a piece of paper for this at the very least.
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So please rummage around and find a piece of
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paper that you can draw some stuff on it and
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take some notes. All right. So what we're going
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to be doing. is we're going to be exploring a
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quadrant based archetype psychology system that
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most of you are familiar with in your HR experiences
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with whatever organizations you've been part
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of. And it's known as Myers -Briggs, disc, behavioral
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styles, a lot of different versions of this thing.
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And that
is a well established map of relationships.
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and understanding psychology and understanding
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conflict resolution, giving and receiving critical
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feedback, getting the most out of your people,
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and also the ability to navigate your personal
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and professional journey, which is ultimately
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always about an identity or a belief system or
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a worldview. So this is a very established methodology
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around psychology. As an anthropologist, I spent
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a lot of time traveling the world and working
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with different cultures, all the way from indigenous
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to current. And it became clear to me that there
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was an overlap between the roles of the tribe
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that is just an undeniable dynamic in anthropology.
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And then these four quadrants of psychology,
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Myers -Briggs and Disque. And they happen to
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be the same dynamic, their direct match. So what
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we're looking at with Myers Briggs and Disk is
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actually a kinship system. It's a very old operating
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system that every indigenous tribe runs. There's
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four primary roles in every tribe. And then Wolf
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Tribe is my company. And we actually work with
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a wolf sanctuary out in the desert. The reason
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why we use wolves is that they're the source
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of our cognitive revolution. And this is a big
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event that happened in humanity about 35 ,000
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years ago, when we went from low level, non innovative
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scavenger to apex predator, which is which was
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fully innovative, we see advanced weapon systems,
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we see instruments, we see game pieces, symbolic
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thought, we see all of these things that are
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a modern culture expression. And it happened
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when we started partnering with the wolves. So
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the wolves happen to have four roles in the pack.
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They are exactly the same roles in a indigenous
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tribe, and they are exactly the same roles in
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contemporary psychology. So It is a direct match,
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which means that we are continually utilizing
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this quadrant based system for our
adaptability,
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our success, our resiliency. So I want to just
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kind of lay the land that the topic of a psychometric
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is a much older and much more established adaptability
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system. All right, the benefits of it and adaptability
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is going to be a big thing here. Adaptability,
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and a lot of you have heard the evolution is
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survival of the fittest, which is actually not
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what Darwin said. He actually said evolution
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is survival of the most adaptable. So when you're
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looking at. long running vital careers, it has
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to do with adaptability. When you're looking
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at long -term sustainable success in organizations,
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those are the ones that are adaptable. So adaptability
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is one of the big drivers of why we have such
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differences within our individuals and our teams
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and tribes. That's psychological. So adaptability
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makes us capable of responding to change and
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challenge. And so that's a very important driver
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for particularly the rate of change that's happening
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now. There's also the secondary big benefit of
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looking at adaptability and specialization that
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makes us competitive. All right. So when we look
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at every successful sports team, every successful
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executive team, every successful family and any
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organization, it is a collection of aligned specialists,
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right? Take a football team, for example. We
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have different positions on the field. It's not
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just a bunch of football players. They are specific
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specialists. And the reason why specialization
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is universal in competitive, successful teams
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is that when you have specialists, they are committed
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to a particular function, a role and identity
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in whatever that team is. So you have your quarterbacks
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on the football, you have your running back,
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you've got the line, you've got your kickers,
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you've got all these specialists and a an aligned
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group of specialists will always beat a team
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of generalists. And we are that. We are specialists.
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And if you understand what your particular specialization
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is, then you get to bring more value to every
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organization, every case that you're on, every
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project. And we also get to interface more successfully
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with other specialists if we understand how the
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rules of engagement work. So this workshop is
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going to unpack a lot of those things, and it
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will improve your resiliency, it will improve
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your sense of belonging, your engagement, your
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retention, and also the value and impact that
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you and your team can provide to your clients
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and the world and each other. All right. So let's
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pull it up and get rocking on this. OK, this
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is the picture of an executive team out at the
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Wolf Sanctuary. And this is kind of the model
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of humans and wolves working, working together.
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And I'm referring to these quadrants as archetypes
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and archetype. Is a. It's an iconic, ancient,
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timeless thing that represents a particular role.
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So these archetypes are the different roles that
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you have in your families and your work teams.
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And understanding how these four different roles
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function together provides the map for your relationships,
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your belonging and establishing kinship with
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your people. It's also the engine of specialized
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competitiveness and drives adaptability. And
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just because I wanted to hit this a couple of
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times for you guys, an aligned team of specialists
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will always beat a team of generalists. So understand
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what your value is, understand what the value
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of your people are, and you will get the most
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out of them. Now, there is also a pop out real
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quick here so people can see me. There's a cost
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to specialization, right? If you spent your whole
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life learning how to throw that weird shaped
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ball and you're the quarterback and you're very
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good at that, there was a cost to that specialization
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and it was you didn't spend a lot of time
kicking
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and running and blocking and doing all the other
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things. So we need to be in an aligned team that
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is complementary. We require other specialists
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to be able to make up for the things that are
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our Achilles heel. And this is one of those important
00:17:24.109 --> 00:17:28.710
tribal dynamics that that lone wolf dynamic of
00:17:28.710 --> 00:17:31.569
just me against the world means that you are
00:17:31.569 --> 00:17:34.190
forced to become a generalist. You have to become
00:17:34.190 --> 00:17:36.829
independent, self reliant and do all the things
00:17:36.829 --> 00:17:40.410
in your life. We're not designed for that. We
00:17:40.410 --> 00:17:47.410
are a communal collective organism. And so we
00:17:47.410 --> 00:17:50.289
need to be surrounded by people who are different
00:17:50.289 --> 00:17:54.769
than us. And is that different focus on priorities
00:17:54.769 --> 00:17:57.609
and worldview and perspective and cadence and
00:17:57.609 --> 00:18:01.349
communication style that drives the adaptability
00:18:01.349 --> 00:18:05.279
of our journey moving forward? All right. And
00:18:05.279 --> 00:18:08.640
then just to answer, there will be some questions
00:18:08.640 --> 00:18:10.680
when I start unpacking the assessment for you
00:18:10.680 --> 00:18:16.000
guys. Nature versus nurture. We all have a nature
00:18:16.000 --> 00:18:19.319
that we're born with. Some people are much more
00:18:19.319 --> 00:18:22.299
assertive. Some people are born more peaceful.
00:18:22.900 --> 00:18:26.359
Some people are born with a desire to connect
00:18:26.359 --> 00:18:30.039
with other people. And some of us are born with
00:18:30.039 --> 00:18:32.579
a much cooler and more reserved disposition.
00:18:34.160 --> 00:18:37.000
That's our nature and we're born with a certain
00:18:37.000 --> 00:18:39.400
dynamic with that. And then the world has its
00:18:39.400 --> 00:18:45.980
way with us. And we at a young age, usually the
00:18:45.980 --> 00:18:50.160
formative era of our lives are around age eight.
00:18:50.359 --> 00:18:56.059
When we start experiencing inadequacy, abandonment,
00:18:56.599 --> 00:18:58.400
shame, there's a bunch of things that happen
00:18:58.400 --> 00:19:01.579
when we're young and it pushes us into a different
00:19:01.579 --> 00:19:05.079
behavior where we get our needs met. And so that
00:19:05.079 --> 00:19:09.420
nurture tends to push our identity and our psychology
00:19:09.420 --> 00:19:13.339
into one of those four different roles in pack,
00:19:13.599 --> 00:19:18.259
tribe, and firm. So every big event in our life
00:19:18.259 --> 00:19:23.200
is going to require us to practice a different
00:19:23.200 --> 00:19:26.900
behavior. And eventually those new behaviors,
00:19:27.500 --> 00:19:31.000
when they're repeated over time, become a new
00:19:31.000 --> 00:19:34.700
identity. So this map I'm going to give you of
00:19:34.700 --> 00:19:39.059
psychology and kinship, you will be moving through
00:19:39.059 --> 00:19:42.539
this map as your life progresses. If you get
00:19:42.539 --> 00:19:47.140
promoted, if you become a parent, if a big event
00:19:47.140 --> 00:19:50.480
happens, then you will see yourself move through
00:19:50.480 --> 00:19:53.160
this map. So I just wanted to answer that because
00:19:53.160 --> 00:19:55.359
that's usually one of the regular questions.
00:19:56.059 --> 00:20:02.059
All right. But we're going to dig in to the assessment.
00:20:02.799 --> 00:20:04.839
And this is the time where I'd like you to pull
00:20:04.839 --> 00:20:07.680
out a piece of paper and draw a vertical line
00:20:07.680 --> 00:20:10.220
right down the middle. And we're going to give
00:20:10.220 --> 00:20:13.880
you a couple choices here. And these choices,
00:20:15.259 --> 00:20:18.579
when we're doing a formal psychometric run through
00:20:18.579 --> 00:20:24.640
an HR department, there is oftentimes a sense
00:20:24.640 --> 00:20:31.019
of how does my organization want me to respond
00:20:31.019 --> 00:20:33.619
to the questions? Who do they want me to be?
00:20:34.440 --> 00:20:38.420
And obviously, we can't see each other on this
00:20:38.420 --> 00:20:41.420
call. So I want to encourage you to be as authentic
00:20:41.420 --> 00:20:44.519
as possible. And one of the best ways to do that
00:20:44.519 --> 00:20:47.839
is get out of your prefrontal cortex, your executive
00:20:47.839 --> 00:20:52.640
function, and get down into your intuition, your
00:20:52.640 --> 00:20:55.519
truth, your limbic system, your soul, your gut.
00:20:55.900 --> 00:20:58.259
Like that's kind of a deeper sense of truth,
00:20:58.619 --> 00:21:01.339
which means don't think about these questions.
00:21:02.259 --> 00:21:05.579
Feel what what what is the authentic truth that
00:21:05.579 --> 00:21:08.440
you have about things? You have a better outcome
00:21:08.440 --> 00:21:12.400
from this exercise. So got a line down the middle
00:21:12.400 --> 00:21:16.980
of your paper. I hope everybody does. And on
00:21:16.980 --> 00:21:21.000
the right side of your paper are these three
00:21:21.000 --> 00:21:26.319
three vital universal. aspects of humanity, and
00:21:26.319 --> 00:21:31.460
they are valuable. This is gold. Peace. It is
00:21:31.460 --> 00:21:36.299
a universal human pursuit. Safety is something
00:21:36.299 --> 00:21:41.599
that is vital in in every organization, emotional,
00:21:41.920 --> 00:21:46.319
physical, professional safety, and then asking
00:21:46.319 --> 00:21:53.960
questions about people. about process. And these
00:21:53.960 --> 00:21:58.539
are all universal aspects of human psychology
00:21:58.539 --> 00:22:02.319
and organizations. So this is your first choice.
00:22:02.640 --> 00:22:05.839
And then on the left side of the paper are going
00:22:05.839 --> 00:22:11.079
to be the components
to those first three. So
00:22:11.079 --> 00:22:14.440
power. I acknowledge peace is important, but
00:22:14.440 --> 00:22:16.839
without a certain measure of power, I can't do
00:22:16.839 --> 00:22:20.660
anything in my life and my career. I acknowledge
00:22:20.660 --> 00:22:24.180
safety is important, but if I don't take some
00:22:24.180 --> 00:22:27.900
risks, nothing changes. And I acknowledge that
00:22:27.900 --> 00:22:31.619
asking questions is important, but I have a truth,
00:22:32.000 --> 00:22:34.599
I have a worldview, I have things that need to
00:22:34.599 --> 00:22:36.960
be expressed, and I will make some statements.
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:41.220
So that's your first choice. Left or right side
00:22:41.220 --> 00:22:44.720
of the paper, and I'd like you to please shade
00:22:44.720 --> 00:22:48.440
in the whole side of the paper that is your truth.
00:22:49.630 --> 00:22:52.710
And if you're split in the middle of these, ask
00:22:52.710 --> 00:22:57.809
yourself, would I sacrifice my peace for my power
00:22:57.809 --> 00:23:01.630
or would I sacrifice my power for my peace? That's
00:23:01.630 --> 00:23:04.230
usually a very clear way of getting an answer
00:23:04.230 --> 00:23:09.670
from this exercise. And that's all the time you
00:23:09.670 --> 00:23:13.369
should actually need for this, right? So hopefully
00:23:13.369 --> 00:23:16.450
that everybody has one side of the paper that's
00:23:16.450 --> 00:23:21.940
shaded in. as your go -to psychological personality
00:23:21.940 --> 00:23:26.519
setting. All right. Now I'd like you to, same
00:23:26.519 --> 00:23:30.079
piece of paper, draw a horizontal perpendicular
00:23:30.079 --> 00:23:33.599
line. And we're going to deal with our second
00:23:33.599 --> 00:23:36.259
aspect of psychology, which is going to have
00:23:36.259 --> 00:23:38.480
to do with connection. So we're going to deal
00:23:38.480 --> 00:23:41.940
now with the full bottom of the paper and the
00:23:41.940 --> 00:23:44.430
full top of the paper. And we're also going to
00:23:44.430 --> 00:23:48.069
be shading this in. And then our double -sided
00:23:48.069 --> 00:23:50.789
quadrant is going to be your core psychology.
00:23:51.329 --> 00:23:54.789
All right. On the full bottom of your piece of
00:23:54.789 --> 00:24:00.369
paper is going to be the bottom line. The bottom
00:24:00.369 --> 00:24:03.930
line in business is making money. The bottom
00:24:03.930 --> 00:24:08.380
line in sports is winning games. It's pretty
00:24:08.380 --> 00:24:12.339
clear. This is results and outcome and impact.
00:24:12.839 --> 00:24:17.359
It's competence. If you're going back to school,
00:24:18.599 --> 00:24:22.119
you're getting a degree. If you are attending
00:24:22.119 --> 00:24:25.259
this workshop, you're getting your certification,
00:24:25.759 --> 00:24:31.099
right? So this is absolutely vital for every
00:24:31.099 --> 00:24:34.279
family and work team. Otherwise you go extinct.
00:24:35.759 --> 00:24:38.140
This is your first option. Now, the full top
00:24:38.140 --> 00:24:42.019
of the paper is going to be about the journey
00:24:42.019 --> 00:24:47.119
instead of the destination. And we look at business.
00:24:47.940 --> 00:24:51.240
It's not just about making money. It's also about
00:24:51.240 --> 00:24:55.019
service to a community. It's taking care of your
00:24:55.019 --> 00:24:58.259
people. The same thing in sports. It's not just
00:24:58.259 --> 00:25:01.680
about winning. It's about engagement, morale,
00:25:01.960 --> 00:25:05.240
celebration, development, and dare I say, fun.
00:25:05.630 --> 00:25:09.650
That's part of the journey of life as well. So
00:25:09.650 --> 00:25:14.609
this will be compassion, passion, expression,
00:25:14.609 --> 00:25:19.549
and the journey. And there's the top half of
00:25:19.549 --> 00:25:22.609
the bottom half of the paper that you're going
00:25:22.609 --> 00:25:25.990
to feel as your truth. And I'd like you to shade
00:25:25.990 --> 00:25:29.789
in either the full top or the full bottom of
00:25:29.789 --> 00:25:42.769
the piece of paper. And where's my Q &A? I'm
00:25:42.769 --> 00:25:44.369
popping open the chat to see if anybody has any
00:25:44.369 --> 00:25:53.069
questions. OK. Now, at this point, you should
00:25:53.069 --> 00:25:56.150
have, when you look at your two perpendicular
00:25:56.150 --> 00:26:03.440
lines, there should be a, oops, sorry. You should
00:26:03.440 --> 00:26:06.759
have one one of your quadrants that is double
00:26:06.759 --> 00:26:10.400
shaded in okay, that's the one that you chose
00:26:10.400 --> 00:26:15.099
either peace or power or competence or passion
00:26:15.099 --> 00:26:18.059
and That's going to be your core psychology.
00:26:18.480 --> 00:26:21.400
Okay when you're looking at the lay of the land
00:26:21.400 --> 00:26:26.000
here the diagonal quadrant with the one that
00:26:26.000 --> 00:26:30.759
you have neither one of the of your choices shaded
00:26:30.759 --> 00:26:35.700
in is that is your opposite. It is the one that
00:26:35.700 --> 00:26:40.059
is the most uncomfortable for you to exist in.
00:26:40.480 --> 00:26:44.380
And that's the one that represents the person
00:26:44.380 --> 00:26:47.440
and the people that you partner with the most
00:26:47.440 --> 00:26:51.339
success successfully. So this is going to give
00:26:51.339 --> 00:26:54.279
you some insights into the people that initially
00:26:54.279 --> 00:26:57.779
have the most challenges with you and you with
00:26:57.779 --> 00:27:00.119
them. but they're the ones that are going to
00:27:00.119 --> 00:27:04.359
compliment you the most. And in all of the relationship
00:27:04.359 --> 00:27:09.400
studies, over 90 % of long -term relationships,
00:27:09.500 --> 00:27:14.240
these are best friends, life partners, co -founders,
00:27:14.480 --> 00:27:17.359
are in the diagonal. So it gives us a very good
00:27:17.359 --> 00:27:23.380
glimpse into the specialization,
complementary
00:27:23.380 --> 00:27:30.900
aspect of humanity. And as we unpack these four
00:27:30.900 --> 00:27:34.819
identities, I'm going to start with the folks
00:27:34.819 --> 00:27:41.240
who are the upper left side of the paper. And
00:27:41.240 --> 00:27:44.220
I will give you a couple of different titles
00:27:44.220 --> 00:27:47.240
for this group. Obviously, I have sovereign that's
00:27:47.240 --> 00:27:50.460
written up in this one. This would be the eye
00:27:50.460 --> 00:27:55.380
of disc, D -I -S -C. This would also be known
00:27:55.380 --> 00:27:59.259
as the expressives in the behavioral styles.
00:28:00.660 --> 00:28:04.559
Psychometric. And these are the people that are
00:28:04.559 --> 00:28:09.500
focused on vision. They have a future that does
00:28:09.500 --> 00:28:13.460
not currently exist. They're usually very outward
00:28:13.460 --> 00:28:18.000
facing people. They communicate easily and often.
00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:22.980
And their primary profit driver that they're
00:28:22.779 --> 00:28:25.640
role brings to an organization is innovation.
00:28:26.519 --> 00:28:29.680
So there happens to be four big profit drivers
00:28:29.680 --> 00:28:33.000
that make organizations successful. They would
00:28:33.000 --> 00:28:37.200
be competitive drivers in sports. And they happen
00:28:37.200 --> 00:28:40.240
to align with these four different archetypes
00:28:40.240 --> 00:28:44.799
or roles. So in anthropology, the people that
00:28:44.799 --> 00:28:48.359
are focused and own the future of the tribe,
00:28:48.700 --> 00:28:53.759
this may be the parent in a human family, or
00:28:53.759 --> 00:28:59.000
a wolf pack, they would be the alphas. And innovation
00:28:59.000 --> 00:29:05.079
is applied visioning. So innovation is one of
00:29:05.079 --> 00:29:09.200
the primary profit drivers of organizations,
00:29:09.200 --> 00:29:15.640
right? To be a visionary person, number one,
00:29:15.640 --> 00:29:20.740
you're very creative, and you tend to range far
00:29:20.740 --> 00:29:27.420
and wide looking for inspiration. So oftentimes
00:29:27.420 --> 00:29:33.900
folks like us, we are interested in many, many
00:29:33.900 --> 00:29:36.799
different things. We want to travel the world,
00:29:37.180 --> 00:29:41.920
start a nonprofit, write some books, and this
00:29:41.920 --> 00:29:47.240
can lead us to be distracted. This is our challenge
00:29:47.240 --> 00:29:50.500
that we're faced with. Right. You don't get to
00:29:50.500 --> 00:29:55.079
be a visionary, innovative, creative person without.
00:29:55.980 --> 00:29:59.039
Struggling with a certain amount of diffusion
00:29:59.039 --> 00:30:03.859
of focus and energy and distraction, and one
00:30:03.859 --> 00:30:08.200
of the the jokes that I heard about this is we
00:30:08.200 --> 00:30:11.519
are people who can starve to death reading cookbooks,
00:30:11.799 --> 00:30:16.200
and oftentimes that could be me as well. We have.
00:30:17.230 --> 00:30:22.089
stack of books that are halfway finished because
00:30:22.089 --> 00:30:25.230
we're constantly excited about the next thing.
00:30:25.930 --> 00:30:30.250
So distraction is our challenge. To be able to
00:30:30.250 --> 00:30:34.690
be optimized in terms of our performance, we
00:30:34.690 --> 00:30:38.009
need to partner with our opposite. These are
00:30:38.009 --> 00:30:40.970
the people that make up for all the things that
00:30:40.970 --> 00:30:43.529
we don't do well. And that's going to be the
00:30:43.529 --> 00:30:48.130
diagonal. And that person is the magician. This
00:30:48.130 --> 00:30:52.150
is known as the analytic. This is the sea of
00:30:52.150 --> 00:30:55.690
disk. And these are the people who have a very
00:30:55.690 --> 00:30:59.890
different worldview, approach, cadence, and set
00:30:59.890 --> 00:31:04.769
of priorities to that innovative sovereign person.
00:31:05.369 --> 00:31:12.869
So that is known as the shaman, the oracle, the
00:31:12.869 --> 00:31:17.539
wise man or woman. in the tribe or the magician.
00:31:18.079 --> 00:31:22.380
It is somebody who is focused not on innovation
00:31:22.380 --> 00:31:28.000
and vision, but mastery and efficiency. And efficiency
00:31:28.000 --> 00:31:33.019
is our second profit driver. So efficiency makes
00:31:33.019 --> 00:31:37.259
you money. It has to do with repeated processes
00:31:37.259 --> 00:31:41.279
that work. It means we generate a successful
00:31:41.279 --> 00:31:45.730
plan and procedure. that makes our organization
00:31:45.730 --> 00:31:51.609
function efficiently. Now, those of us who sit
00:31:51.609 --> 00:31:56.349
in this magician category or the analytic, we
00:31:56.349 --> 00:31:59.470
face a challenge with our commitment to efficiency
00:31:59.470 --> 00:32:04.049
and mastery. And that is chaos is uncomfortable
00:32:04.049 --> 00:32:08.089
for us. And when things become chaotic, whether
00:32:08.089 --> 00:32:12.410
it's behavior or a chaotic process, we tend to
00:32:12.410 --> 00:32:16.589
disengage from those people and those processes.
00:32:17.470 --> 00:32:20.730
So we have a tendency to disengage to the point
00:32:20.730 --> 00:32:24.349
that we can become isolated ourselves, because
00:32:24.349 --> 00:32:27.970
that's sometimes the ultimate fallback of control
00:32:27.970 --> 00:32:33.190
with just ourselves, at which point we find ourselves
00:32:33.190 --> 00:32:39.109
without a seat at the table, without our voice
00:32:39.109 --> 00:32:43.359
being engaged to move something forward successfully.
00:32:44.200 --> 00:32:48.299
So isolation is not good for us, and it's a catastrophe
00:32:48.299 --> 00:32:51.940
for those visionary, innovative, sovereign, or
00:32:51.940 --> 00:32:57.660
expressive types. So for these two psychological
00:32:57.660 --> 00:33:01.640
specialists on the team, there needs to be a
00:33:01.640 --> 00:33:04.599
compromise in order to be successful together.
00:33:05.160 --> 00:33:08.700
And whenever we're negotiating
something as humans,
00:33:09.240 --> 00:33:13.559
we really only have three options. One is power,
00:33:14.299 --> 00:33:20.839
position, tyranny, or we have surrender, acquiesce,
00:33:21.279 --> 00:33:25.019
the victim story. And those are both very dysfunctional
00:33:25.019 --> 00:33:27.460
decision -making strategies with different types
00:33:27.460 --> 00:33:30.539
of people. The only successful route we have
00:33:30.539 --> 00:33:33.359
forward is compromise. And compromise is one
00:33:33.359 --> 00:33:36.660
of those things that is challenging because it
00:33:36.660 --> 00:33:39.259
means that we're giving up something. But what
00:33:39.259 --> 00:33:43.380
we gain is partnership, collaboration, and the
00:33:43.380 --> 00:33:48.640
adaptability and power of these different psychologies.
00:33:50.039 --> 00:33:55.160
So the sacrifice for our upper left type people,
00:33:55.180 --> 00:33:59.240
a sovereign, is that we have to look at the 10
00:33:59.240 --> 00:34:01.799
exciting passionate projects that we're working
00:34:01.799 --> 00:34:07.019
on and kill nine of them. Commit to the one.
00:34:08.440 --> 00:34:11.400
Choose what your priority is and double down
00:34:11.400 --> 00:34:16.380
on it. Kill your darlings. And that involves
00:34:16.380 --> 00:34:20.940
a short -term sacrifice of freedom. But what
00:34:20.940 --> 00:34:24.380
we get is significance. Because not only does
00:34:24.380 --> 00:34:27.460
that project move forward, but more importantly,
00:34:27.940 --> 00:34:30.179
it demonstrates a certain amount of commitment
00:34:30.179 --> 00:34:33.980
and competence and investment that our analytic
00:34:33.980 --> 00:34:37.699
magicians will be able to work with. And then
00:34:37.699 --> 00:34:40.199
you get all the horsepower that they bring to
00:34:40.199 --> 00:34:42.860
the table with plan, process, and procedure.
00:34:44.320 --> 00:34:47.760
For the magicians, what we have to sacrifice
00:34:47.760 --> 00:34:52.079
is our need for control. There's going to be
00:34:52.079 --> 00:34:55.699
processes that are chaotic and innovative and
00:34:55.699 --> 00:34:58.940
visionary, and there's going to be some variables
00:34:58.940 --> 00:35:01.780
that happen that are uncomfortable for us. So
00:35:01.780 --> 00:35:04.360
we have to surrender our short -term control
00:35:04.360 --> 00:35:08.800
for being able to partner with our visionary
00:35:08.800 --> 00:35:12.739
folks who are innovating and adapting and moving
00:35:12.739 --> 00:35:15.480
things forward. And that's really what builds
00:35:15.480 --> 00:35:19.280
successful kingdoms is these two things. And
00:35:19.280 --> 00:35:21.880
this is echoed through all of our shared mythology.
00:35:22.760 --> 00:35:25.980
The sovereign, this would be King Arthur. He
00:35:25.980 --> 00:35:29.639
has a vision for equality and a round table,
00:35:29.639 --> 00:35:33.320
but he's not able to implement that until he
00:35:33.320 --> 00:35:36.960
pulls Excalibur
from the stone. Excalibur is
00:35:36.960 --> 00:35:41.719
focus and Merlin built Excalibur for King Arthur.
00:35:42.380 --> 00:35:45.039
So here we have the sovereign King Arthur. We
00:35:45.039 --> 00:35:47.699
have our magician Merlin who built Excalibur.
00:35:47.880 --> 00:35:50.519
And when those two characters, personalities,
00:35:50.800 --> 00:35:53.579
identities partner together, you have something
00:35:53.579 --> 00:35:59.900
extraordinary. All right. That makes sense to
00:35:59.900 --> 00:36:04.860
everybody, I hope. There's a deeper dive on both
00:36:04.860 --> 00:36:07.800
of these psychological quadrants or archetypes
00:36:07.800 --> 00:36:14.800
in the workbook. All right. Oftentimes, when
00:36:14.800 --> 00:36:19.500
sovereigns or having any sort of meeting or gathering.
00:36:19.500 --> 00:36:23.480
It will be innovative. It will be brainstorming.
00:36:23.840 --> 00:36:27.739
It will be fun and high energy. Oftentimes that's
00:36:27.739 --> 00:36:30.099
anxiety producing for us magicians who would
00:36:30.099 --> 00:36:33.920
like an agenda. What are we focused on? When
00:36:33.920 --> 00:36:38.300
is the meeting over? And this next group, which
00:36:38.300 --> 00:36:43.119
is our bottom left, these people, we don't want
00:36:43.119 --> 00:36:46.710
to go to the meeting at all. These are called
00:36:46.710 --> 00:36:49.710
the warrior class. They're also known as the
00:36:49.710 --> 00:36:54.449
drivers in behavioral styles or the D of disc,
00:36:55.210 --> 00:37:00.050
dominant or driver. And this is a very different
00:37:00.050 --> 00:37:05.630
animal. Instead of needing innovation to inspire
00:37:05.630 --> 00:37:11.429
us or mastery of a perfect plan, we simply need
00:37:11.710 --> 00:37:15.429
the next right step to take and the ability to
00:37:15.429 --> 00:37:19.750
take it. We are action oriented. We are decisive.
00:37:20.389 --> 00:37:23.809
We are the people on the team that are incredibly
00:37:23.809 --> 00:37:29.250
competitive. And competitiveness is the third
00:37:29.250 --> 00:37:33.909
profit driver in all organizations. And it's
00:37:33.909 --> 00:37:39.769
robust. It is a high energy behavior and set
00:37:39.769 --> 00:37:45.780
of priorities that When we're looking at the
00:37:45.780 --> 00:37:49.900
way that the energy of our firm or our family
00:37:49.900 --> 00:37:53.900
moves forward, this is the forge of that. This
00:37:53.900 --> 00:37:57.500
is the engine that keeps things relentlessly
00:37:57.500 --> 00:38:00.699
moving forward. So there's a drive and a hustle
00:38:00.699 --> 00:38:04.920
and a passion here that has to do with winning.
00:38:06.860 --> 00:38:10.880
So decisive action and competitiveness are the
00:38:10.880 --> 00:38:16.719
big profit drivers here. Oftentimes, this class
00:38:16.719 --> 00:38:20.739
of people, we have a very strong belief around
00:38:20.739 --> 00:38:26.139
right and wrong. It's clear. We have a little
00:38:26.139 --> 00:38:30.460
bit
of judgment about the way things should be.
00:38:31.820 --> 00:38:34.760
And if you fall into this category with your
00:38:34.760 --> 00:38:38.519
assessment and you reflect back onto group projects
00:38:38.519 --> 00:38:42.260
in school, You may have been the person who said
00:38:42.260 --> 00:38:45.880
to your team, you all do your part and then hand
00:38:45.880 --> 00:38:48.320
it in to me and I will hand it in the way that
00:38:48.320 --> 00:38:52.119
it's supposed to be. So there is a little bit
00:38:52.119 --> 00:38:57.500
of judgment involved in this behavior. Oftentimes,
00:38:58.300 --> 00:39:01.920
we can be the enforcer, the regulator, the one
00:39:01.920 --> 00:39:04.460
to have the hard conversations or give critical
00:39:04.460 --> 00:39:07.420
feedback to people because we can engage with
00:39:07.420 --> 00:39:12.469
conflict. So all of that is powerful and positive.
00:39:13.489 --> 00:39:17.949
The Achilles heel that we have is that oftentimes
00:39:17.949 --> 00:39:23.429
that sense of judgment can come off as abrasive,
00:39:23.829 --> 00:39:28.789
brusque, impatient. And how that degrades our
00:39:28.789 --> 00:39:33.250
team and ultimately undermines ourselves is that
00:39:33.250 --> 00:39:37.869
we lead from the front. and it is the exact correct
00:39:37.869 --> 00:39:42.010
leadership style when you're going to war. All
00:39:42.010 --> 00:39:45.909
other times, and there are recovery times, there's
00:39:45.909 --> 00:39:48.230
visioning times, there are many different phases
00:39:48.230 --> 00:39:55.070
of organizations. Sometimes that one is not successful,
00:39:55.070 --> 00:39:58.710
and we have to realize that three -quarters of
00:39:58.710 --> 00:40:03.369
the world is not capable or willing to operate
00:40:03.369 --> 00:40:07.449
the way that we do. And those people will disengage
00:40:07.449 --> 00:40:12.170
from us when we become impatient and judgmental.
00:40:12.210 --> 00:40:15.670
And we can end up lone wolfing ourselves, which
00:40:15.670 --> 00:40:18.469
means we've just lost the scope and scale and
00:40:18.469 --> 00:40:22.030
capacity to hunt the big game. At some point,
00:40:22.030 --> 00:40:25.289
it's going to have to do with how well can we
00:40:25.289 --> 00:40:28.170
work with other people because we cannot pull
00:40:28.170 --> 00:40:33.409
down an elk as a lone wolf. So the challenges
00:40:33.409 --> 00:40:38.500
of engagement and retention with other people
00:40:38.500 --> 00:40:42.119
is one of the things that we need other people
00:40:42.119 --> 00:40:46.219
to help us with. And so this is that second diagonal.
00:40:47.260 --> 00:40:51.500
OK, so that second diagonal is our upper right
00:40:51.500 --> 00:40:58.539
people. So upper right lover or the healer in
00:40:58.539 --> 00:41:02.320
mythology is also known as a supportive or the
00:41:02.320 --> 00:41:06.920
amiable. And the primary focus of this group
00:41:06.920 --> 00:41:12.639
of people is the pursuit of belonging. We are
00:41:12.639 --> 00:41:16.980
focused on the wellbeing, the connection, the
00:41:16.980 --> 00:41:21.500
service of other people. Relationships are primary
00:41:21.500 --> 00:41:31.139
for us. And this speaks into a vast aspect of
00:41:31.150 --> 00:41:34.789
humanity that our current society is struggling
00:41:34.789 --> 00:41:38.269
with right now. This may be a big tie in for
00:41:38.269 --> 00:41:43.449
us as it relates to the wellness topic. The rates
00:41:43.449 --> 00:41:48.369
of clinical anxiety, depression, addiction are
00:41:48.369 --> 00:41:52.250
all stemming from a lack of belonging with other
00:41:52.250 --> 00:41:55.989
people. So this particular quadrant of people
00:41:55.989 --> 00:41:59.750
that I have seen in high -speed organizations,
00:41:59.949 --> 00:42:03.989
it's somewhat marginalized, meaning it's not
00:42:03.989 --> 00:42:10.650
competitive and it's too soft. I want to reframe
00:42:10.650 --> 00:42:13.550
that story for those of you who are in this quadrant.
00:42:14.409 --> 00:42:17.590
What you bring to the table is engagement with
00:42:17.590 --> 00:42:22.510
your people. That's number one. Currently, full
00:42:22.510 --> 00:42:26.849
engagement is under 17 percent in America. It's
00:42:26.849 --> 00:42:30.969
lower than that in the law industry. And if you're
00:42:30.969 --> 00:42:35.429
running below 17 % full engagement, you are hemorrhaging
00:42:35.429 --> 00:42:41.530
resources, passion, investment, energy, all the
00:42:41.530 --> 00:42:45.210
things that make us great. So engagement is one
00:42:45.210 --> 00:42:47.690
of the big profit drivers that comes from this
00:42:47.690 --> 00:42:54.230
archetype house. Retention. Retention is a primary
00:42:54.230 --> 00:42:57.789
profit driver. What it costs for you to find
00:42:57.789 --> 00:43:01.349
and onboard a new person because you have lost
00:43:01.349 --> 00:43:05.630
them based on a cultural issue is significant.
00:43:06.269 --> 00:43:08.530
And most of you have heard the term, people don't
00:43:08.530 --> 00:43:12.949
leave bad jobs, they leave bad bosses, they leave
00:43:12.949 --> 00:43:16.170
bad cultures, which means it doesn't feel good.
00:43:16.650 --> 00:43:20.409
So that engagement and retention conversation
00:43:20.409 --> 00:43:23.849
is sourced from this particular psychology, this
00:43:23.849 --> 00:43:27.679
specialist. And then lastly, we have resiliency.
00:43:28.820 --> 00:43:32.159
Resiliency is the ability to persevere through
00:43:32.159 --> 00:43:36.360
adversity, and it is a function of belonging.
00:43:37.159 --> 00:43:41.179
When we are together, when we are aligned, then
00:43:41.179 --> 00:43:45.739
we have the ability to be almost endlessly resilient.
00:43:46.320 --> 00:43:49.340
And all of that good stuff comes from this quadrant.
00:43:50.639 --> 00:43:54.190
Now, there's a cost from this quadrant. And that
00:43:54.190 --> 00:44:03.469
is oftentimes we will have a tendency to not
00:44:03.469 --> 00:44:08.889
engage with conflict. We will avoid it. Avoiding
00:44:08.889 --> 00:44:14.809
conflict is a focus on belonging and conflict
00:44:14.809 --> 00:44:18.769
seems to threaten belonging. So oftentimes those
00:44:18.769 --> 00:44:22.300
of us who live in this behavior set at this time
00:44:22.300 --> 00:44:27.340
in our life, we will avoid conflict, which means
00:44:27.340 --> 00:44:33.639
other people will load us with projects and drama
00:44:33.639 --> 00:44:42.139
and trauma that they're delegating to us, particularly
00:44:42.139 --> 00:44:46.360
us warrior people who are always on a mission
00:44:46.360 --> 00:44:50.119
or a war path or pushing a project. And we will
00:44:50.119 --> 00:44:53.219
tend to go, hey, I need you to carry this rock
00:44:53.219 --> 00:44:58.280
for me because I'm on a I'm on a war path. And
00:44:58.280 --> 00:45:04.059
oftentimes us lover healer supportive types will
00:45:04.059 --> 00:45:09.760
not say no, we will just accept that burden of
00:45:09.760 --> 00:45:13.190
personal or professional load. And if we take
00:45:13.190 --> 00:45:16.630
on too much, then we have a tendency to break.
00:45:17.449 --> 00:45:22.309
And if those lover, amiable people break, then
00:45:22.309 --> 00:45:25.510
we have just lost our engagement, retention,
00:45:25.869 --> 00:45:28.869
and resiliency. And that's a catastrophe for
00:45:28.869 --> 00:45:33.610
an organization. So this upper right quadrant
00:45:33.610 --> 00:45:37.789
needs to be able to make some sacrifices to partner
00:45:37.789 --> 00:45:41.400
with our bottom left quadrant. These people need
00:45:41.400 --> 00:45:43.900
to partner together because they are complementary.
00:45:45.519 --> 00:45:49.280
The sacrifice that that lover archetype needs
00:45:49.280 --> 00:45:53.460
to make is the ability to make and maintain healthy
00:45:53.460 --> 00:45:58.320
boundaries. Sounds easy. And for those of you
00:45:58.320 --> 00:46:00.900
in that quadrant, this is not the first time
00:46:00.900 --> 00:46:05.739
that you've heard, I need to engage with conflict,
00:46:06.000 --> 00:46:10.280
I need to maintain my boundaries. where the rubber
00:46:10.280 --> 00:46:14.219
meets the road on this is that when we do, we
00:46:14.219 --> 00:46:19.760
will potentially not be liked. And that's a very
00:46:19.760 --> 00:46:23.420
uncomfortable feeling for us. And now I'm going
00:46:23.420 --> 00:46:26.699
to speak to my warriors. And if you were in the
00:46:26.699 --> 00:46:30.360
room and I were to ask you the question, how
00:46:30.360 --> 00:46:34.659
do you feel about temporarily not being liked?
00:46:35.079 --> 00:46:37.619
And for most of us warrior class people will
00:46:37.619 --> 00:46:41.780
be like, I'm used to that. That's what competitiveness
00:46:41.780 --> 00:46:45.179
is. That's what winning entails. Sometimes you
00:46:45.179 --> 00:46:49.800
will not be liked. So back to us lover folks,
00:46:51.219 --> 00:46:54.340
that story about not being liked is probably
00:46:54.340 --> 00:46:59.320
our story. That's our old belief system about
00:46:59.320 --> 00:47:03.960
belonging, adequacy, abandonment. So we can afford
00:47:03.960 --> 00:47:07.579
to not be liked short -term because we will gain
00:47:07.579 --> 00:47:11.079
respect long -term. And particularly when you're
00:47:11.079 --> 00:47:14.039
partnering with warrior class people, respect
00:47:14.039 --> 00:47:17.159
is the operating system and the currency of their
00:47:17.159 --> 00:47:21.159
psychology. So we need to be able to say no.
00:47:21.480 --> 00:47:25.179
And when we do that, we will actually have a
00:47:25.179 --> 00:47:28.480
better relationship with that warrior class compliment.
00:47:29.820 --> 00:47:33.829
Speaking now to us warriors, Our sacrifice is
00:47:33.829 --> 00:47:36.530
that we need to be willing to give up our short
00:47:36.530 --> 00:47:40.849
-term results, our short -term wins, for more
00:47:40.849 --> 00:47:44.710
significant long -term impact. We need to be
00:47:44.710 --> 00:47:47.849
willing to lose an argument to resolve a conflict.
00:47:48.289 --> 00:47:51.210
We need to be willing to lose a battle to win
00:47:51.210 --> 00:47:54.949
a war. And it always has to do with other people.
00:47:55.550 --> 00:47:57.590
When the rubber meets the road, we come down
00:47:57.590 --> 00:48:00.849
to how well we can partner with or people on
00:48:00.849 --> 00:48:04.250
our team and our clients. And sometimes we need
00:48:04.250 --> 00:48:10.230
to think strategically long term instead of tactically
00:48:10.230 --> 00:48:14.010
winning all the time. There's an ego story involved
00:48:14.010 --> 00:48:18.050
in that. All right. So kind of lay of the land
00:48:18.050 --> 00:48:24.210
is that these four quadrants are the big drivers
00:48:24.210 --> 00:48:29.539
of overall adaptability and success. And these
00:48:29.539 --> 00:48:32.079
are the specialists that are going to bring the
00:48:32.079 --> 00:48:34.900
best of what they have and their understanding
00:48:34.900 --> 00:48:39.019
and their priorities to every organization. So
00:48:39.019 --> 00:48:41.500
I'd like to just pause right now for the folks
00:48:41.500 --> 00:48:47.699
who are engaged in this. And have you guys dropped
00:48:47.699 --> 00:48:51.219
some things in the Q &A? I'd love to kind of
00:48:51.219 --> 00:48:55.940
get some questions in this before we move on.
00:48:57.559 --> 00:49:04.159
And Dean, are you on? I'm here, Philip. OK, cool.
00:49:05.679 --> 00:49:13.719
Q &A. Oh, we got something in there. OK. We got
00:49:13.719 --> 00:49:18.940
any clarifications and questions? Yes. Stop trying
00:49:18.940 --> 00:49:22.679
to win every argument. That's a good one for
00:49:22.679 --> 00:49:30.940
us lawyers to try. Yes. It can be a challenge.
00:49:31.260 --> 00:49:35.199
I've been working with Philip now for, what,
00:49:35.380 --> 00:49:41.960
June 2020, I think? Yeah. Cohort one. And
it
00:49:41.960 --> 00:49:47.219
is interesting to see how Each of these quadrants
00:49:47.219 --> 00:49:51.920
are part of everyone. That's the concept of K4,
00:49:52.119 --> 00:49:54.400
King of the Four Houses. Those are the four houses,
00:49:55.699 --> 00:49:59.780
the lover, magician, warrior, king. And like
00:49:59.780 --> 00:50:05.659
many lawyers, I tend towards the magician. That's
00:50:05.659 --> 00:50:09.619
our goal, mastery, and we want to be... competent
00:50:09.619 --> 00:50:12.980
in everything and excel in everything and figure
00:50:12.980 --> 00:50:16.159
out the best path forward, whether it's writing
00:50:16.159 --> 00:50:20.000
that brief that's going to convince the judge,
00:50:20.440 --> 00:50:23.500
or it's writing that contract and making that
00:50:23.500 --> 00:50:25.760
argument as part of your negotiation for that
00:50:25.760 --> 00:50:29.300
contract that's going to get you what you need.
00:50:30.440 --> 00:50:34.500
And losing the occasional battle to win the war
00:50:34.500 --> 00:50:40.820
is a really tough concept. and one that I've
00:50:40.820 --> 00:50:45.639
worked with a lot. Let's see if we got some questions
00:50:45.639 --> 00:50:51.340
here. So what's Jay got here? I feel like I changed
00:50:51.340 --> 00:50:54.920
roles to adapt rather than occupy one quadrant.
00:50:55.179 --> 00:50:57.579
Can that help? If not, how should it be addressed?
00:50:58.099 --> 00:51:00.280
I think that's sort of what I was talking about.
00:51:00.860 --> 00:51:07.360
Yeah. The best leaders are adaptable leaders.
00:51:08.440 --> 00:51:12.139
And one of the explanations of this is when we
00:51:12.139 --> 00:51:14.619
look at the golden rule, it means that we're
00:51:14.619 --> 00:51:17.840
treating everybody the same, which means you're
00:51:17.840 --> 00:51:21.980
treating them like a generalist. And if we had
00:51:21.980 --> 00:51:25.579
every viewer here in the room and I were to treat
00:51:25.579 --> 00:51:28.679
everybody with the golden rule, I'm going to
00:51:28.679 --> 00:51:31.320
assume that you are all like me. and want the
00:51:31.320 --> 00:51:34.820
same cadence, the same temperature, the same,
00:51:34.820 --> 00:51:40.179
you know, process. And the reality is three quarters
00:51:40.179 --> 00:51:43.199
of you won't. You want something that's slightly
00:51:43.199 --> 00:51:46.719
different than what I want. So the platinum rule,
00:51:47.139 --> 00:51:49.840
which is the bump up from the golden rule, is
00:51:49.840 --> 00:51:51.840
to treat people the way they need to be treated,
00:51:51.960 --> 00:51:53.860
whether that's your coworkers or your clients,
00:51:54.119 --> 00:51:58.280
and you get more from them. So adaptability is
00:51:58.280 --> 00:52:03.329
the application of this map or framework. It
00:52:03.329 --> 00:52:06.530
allows you to intentionally navigate relationships.
00:52:07.650 --> 00:52:09.630
And the next two things I want to share with
00:52:09.630 --> 00:52:13.429
you are the actionable pieces. But before I get
00:52:13.429 --> 00:52:15.989
to that, I just wanted to see if there was any
00:52:15.989 --> 00:52:19.349
kind of Q &A about childhood stuff or development
00:52:19.349 --> 00:52:21.789
or anything else that people always have questions
00:52:21.789 --> 00:52:25.530
about. We've got something. How can we tell how
00:52:25.530 --> 00:52:28.510
others are driven and where they fit in, especially
00:52:28.510 --> 00:52:30.869
in a road environment? So how do you recognize
00:52:30.869 --> 00:52:34.730
so great what what how someone's in? Great. I
00:52:34.730 --> 00:52:38.150
believe what's being asked there from this is
00:52:38.150 --> 00:52:41.909
a very good one. You don't need to remember the
00:52:41.909 --> 00:52:44.969
my my prompts or the hundred and fifty questions
00:52:44.969 --> 00:52:48.389
of disk or Myers -Briggs to know who people are.
00:52:48.889 --> 00:52:52.469
The moment you. stand next to someone or you
00:52:52.469 --> 00:52:55.869
have a conversation with them, you know two things
00:52:55.869 --> 00:53:00.170
automatically and with a great level of clarity
00:53:00.170 --> 00:53:03.550
about these people. Number one, you know if they're
00:53:03.550 --> 00:53:07.949
ambitious or safe. This is the left and the right
00:53:07.949 --> 00:53:11.829
on your piece of paper. Ambitious people, that's
00:53:11.829 --> 00:53:13.849
going to be either a sovereign or a warrior,
00:53:14.650 --> 00:53:17.989
right? That's a driver or an expressive. Those
00:53:17.989 --> 00:53:21.260
are ambitious people. If you are talking to that
00:53:21.260 --> 00:53:24.719
person and you feel safe, you know that they
00:53:24.719 --> 00:53:28.739
are either that amiable lover supportive or the
00:53:28.739 --> 00:53:31.119
analytical magician. Those are people who are
00:53:31.119 --> 00:53:35.679
safe. So that gives you your first diagnostic.
00:53:36.559 --> 00:53:39.000
The second thing you know about every human that
00:53:39.000 --> 00:53:41.980
you work with, even someone at a bank line or
00:53:41.980 --> 00:53:46.239
in an airport, you know if they're warm or they're
00:53:46.239 --> 00:53:49.840
cool. You know what warm people are. You want
00:53:49.840 --> 00:53:52.760
to share more with them. You want to have a coffee
00:53:52.760 --> 00:53:55.800
with them. You want to prolong the conversation
00:53:55.800 --> 00:53:59.480
a little bit. And then the cool people, you know
00:53:59.480 --> 00:54:02.360
that you can feel competence. You need to be
00:54:02.360 --> 00:54:05.719
a little more professional. And all of you know
00:54:05.719 --> 00:54:09.300
this. You know ambition are safe. You know, cool
00:54:09.300 --> 00:54:13.980
and warm. You have done a very good psychometric.
00:54:14.139 --> 00:54:18.730
If you simply look at those two truths that you
00:54:18.730 --> 00:54:22.670
can feel intuitively, instinctively from people.
00:54:23.170 --> 00:54:25.789
You understand
what their quadrants are. At that
00:54:25.789 --> 00:54:30.789
point, once you have an idea about what role
00:54:30.789 --> 00:54:34.250
or identity or psychology they have, now, if
00:54:34.250 --> 00:54:36.070
you're a quarterback, you can open your playbook
00:54:36.070 --> 00:54:39.190
and go, this is how I'm going to get the best
00:54:39.190 --> 00:54:43.469
experience from this relationship. And so here's
00:54:43.469 --> 00:54:45.329
the unpacking of this. And we got five minutes
00:54:45.329 --> 00:54:49.440
left. And this is a deep dive into a lot of things,
00:54:49.460 --> 00:54:53.000
but I wanna give you two important ones. Giving
00:54:53.000 --> 00:54:56.440
and receiving critical feedback. This has to
00:54:56.440 --> 00:55:00.300
do with your coworkers and your clients and everybody
00:55:00.300 --> 00:55:03.659
in your family. The ability to give them critical
00:55:03.659 --> 00:55:06.820
feedback is adaptability. This is how we grow
00:55:06.820 --> 00:55:09.559
and we develop and move. And each one of these
00:55:09.559 --> 00:55:12.760
four roles has a different requirement that needs
00:55:12.760 --> 00:55:15.539
to be in place. for them to hear that feedback
00:55:15.539 --> 00:55:19.400
so that it's not interpreted as shame or an attack.
00:55:19.699 --> 00:55:23.079
It's interpreted as accountability and an investment
00:55:23.079 --> 00:55:27.699
in them. So. Let's start with let's go backwards
00:55:27.699 --> 00:55:33.039
for the supportive, amiable lover class. You
00:55:33.039 --> 00:55:37.559
need to lead with relationships. And that doesn't
00:55:37.559 --> 00:55:40.820
mean you need to give a cheesy praise sandwich,
00:55:41.219 --> 00:55:44.510
but you do have to go in with some appreciation,
00:55:45.269 --> 00:55:48.250
be mindful of tone, a little bit of compassion,
00:55:48.250 --> 00:55:51.309
and then you can give them that critical feedback.
00:55:51.570 --> 00:55:57.909
And if you follow up with a reiteration of the
00:55:57.909 --> 00:56:01.469
relationship, then they can hear it and they
00:56:01.469 --> 00:56:05.170
can digest it and integrate that. Very different
00:56:05.170 --> 00:56:08.150
than working with that driver warrior class and
00:56:08.150 --> 00:56:11.329
giving them critical feedback. If you lead with
00:56:11.329 --> 00:56:14.639
relationships and praise, before you give that
00:56:14.639 --> 00:56:17.019
what you want to tell them, you have just lost
00:56:17.019 --> 00:56:20.760
respect because you didn't have the ability to
00:56:20.760 --> 00:56:23.739
give it to them straight and honest and direct.
00:56:24.219 --> 00:56:27.000
So when we're looking at people who are ambitious
00:56:27.000 --> 00:56:30.800
and cool, you want to give them give them the
00:56:30.800 --> 00:56:35.199
information clean and straight. And it's based
00:56:35.199 --> 00:56:37.880
on their results. They're going to be more powerful
00:56:37.880 --> 00:56:41.599
if they hear it. They don't need to hear
it later.
00:56:41.849 --> 00:56:43.969
When things are comfortable and it's the right
00:56:43.969 --> 00:56:47.130
time, they need to hear it now. So in terms of
00:56:47.130 --> 00:56:50.210
the delivery vehicle and the cadence, we give
00:56:50.210 --> 00:56:53.829
our warriors clear direct feedback immediately.
00:56:54.550 --> 00:56:58.690
With the lovers, we want to be mindful of the
00:56:58.690 --> 00:57:01.610
environment, the tone we're delivering, and the
00:57:01.610 --> 00:57:04.949
relationships. Now going the opposite direction,
00:57:05.590 --> 00:57:08.869
when you're giving magicians critical feedback,
00:57:10.639 --> 00:57:14.300
Don't come light. There should be some examples
00:57:14.300 --> 00:57:17.460
of behavior. There should be some historical
00:57:17.460 --> 00:57:21.719
precedent. There should be some information involved
00:57:21.719 --> 00:57:26.260
and a potential plan that is given that that
00:57:26.260 --> 00:57:29.019
person has the ability to digest at their own
00:57:29.019 --> 00:57:32.739
time. And then they can hear it. Does that make
00:57:32.739 --> 00:57:39.300
sense, Dean? Yes. OK, exactly. And then back
00:57:39.300 --> 00:57:42.239
up to our sovereign or the expressive quadrant,
00:57:43.000 --> 00:57:47.119
these visionary outward facing people are there
00:57:47.119 --> 00:57:50.579
to change the world. And because of that, there
00:57:50.579 --> 00:57:53.239
are some egos involved with us. We have some
00:57:53.239 --> 00:57:57.460
big egos. And if that critical feedback is directed
00:57:57.460 --> 00:58:01.039
at your ego, you're going to receive a counterattack.
00:58:01.619 --> 00:58:04.860
So you want to bypass the ego and talk right
00:58:04.860 --> 00:58:09.719
to the visionary end game ability to make a dent
00:58:09.719 --> 00:58:14.480
in the universe, and we can hear that. So giving
00:58:14.480 --> 00:58:17.719
critical feedback to your people successfully
00:58:17.719 --> 00:58:22.360
is an application of this map or this framework.
00:58:26.639 --> 00:58:29.300
Selling. This is the last one I want to wrap
00:58:29.300 --> 00:58:33.960
up with. And yes, this is business, but we're
00:58:33.960 --> 00:58:38.159
always selling to each other. we're selling ideas,
00:58:39.260 --> 00:58:44.619
a proposed route forward, whatever it is, we're
00:58:44.619 --> 00:58:46.719
constantly selling to each other. That's the
00:58:46.719 --> 00:58:50.780
marketplace of the world. And so the way that
00:58:50.780 --> 00:58:55.320
you pitch an idea to a person is very dependent
00:58:55.320 --> 00:58:58.719
upon this map. It's a great utilization of that.
00:58:59.380 --> 00:59:04.139
So if you know that Somebody is ambitious and
00:59:04.139 --> 00:59:07.260
warm, and they're that visionary, outward -facing,
00:59:07.420 --> 00:59:14.480
innovative person. Testimonials. Who's cool that's
00:59:14.480 --> 00:59:19.960
doing it? And it should be exciting, high -paced,
00:59:20.780 --> 00:59:26.280
and big energy, and visionary. It inspires us,
00:59:26.280 --> 00:59:29.309
and it's aspirational. That's the way you sell
00:59:29.309 --> 00:59:33.489
an idea to a sovereign people. Very different
00:59:33.489 --> 00:59:36.489
than when you're selling to a magician analytic
00:59:36.489 --> 00:59:40.670
is that, again, historical precedent, metrics
00:59:40.670 --> 00:59:46.130
have information that absolutely makes it grounded
00:59:46.130 --> 00:59:50.550
into the right thing to do. When you're selling
00:59:50.550 --> 00:59:53.309
a concept, an idea, an engagement to warrior
00:59:53.309 --> 00:59:55.849
class people, it's going to be about results.
00:59:56.409 --> 00:59:59.829
And it's going to be short -term and as immediate
00:59:59.829 --> 01:00:02.809
as possible. And again, when you're selling a
01:00:02.809 --> 01:00:07.630
concept to a supportive, amiable person, this
01:00:07.630 --> 01:00:12.030
is that lead with relationships first, ask personal
01:00:12.030 --> 01:00:16.110
questions, build rapport, know, like, and trust.
01:00:17.269 --> 01:00:20.010
They're going to partner with people that they
01:00:20.010 --> 01:00:23.340
have a relationship with. It's a very different
01:00:23.340 --> 01:00:26.360
strategy that gets you better results as you're
01:00:26.360 --> 01:00:29.699
working with these different specialists in your
01:00:29.699 --> 01:00:35.000
family and your firm. Pop on the Q &A to see
01:00:35.000 --> 01:00:40.960
if there's anything that. I'm not sure what Pamela
01:00:40.960 --> 01:00:45.539
is asking. I've been consistently just in the
01:00:45.539 --> 01:00:48.659
middle of thinking, feeling. Slight perf for
01:00:48.659 --> 01:00:50.980
F. Don't know exactly what that means. And judging
01:00:50.980 --> 01:00:55.940
perceptive slight. Oh, I see. Feeling judgmental.
01:00:55.940 --> 01:00:58.539
You're doing Myers -Briggs. Yeah. Yeah, yeah,
01:00:58.539 --> 01:01:03.079
yeah. She's going she's going disc. You got a
01:01:03.079 --> 01:01:07.400
magician there. Oh, OK. It's a great, great topic.
01:01:07.619 --> 01:01:12.559
Pamela, thank you. We all have all four of these
01:01:12.559 --> 01:01:15.539
identities in us, and maybe I probably should
01:01:15.539 --> 01:01:19.340
have led to that. So. If anybody studied psychology
01:01:19.340 --> 01:01:26.820
or Jungian parts work, we look at our psychology
01:01:26.820 --> 01:01:31.440
as a collection of identities within us. And
01:01:31.440 --> 01:01:35.599
everybody wants to change the world and has vision
01:01:35.599 --> 01:01:39.139
for the future. That's universal. We all want
01:01:39.139 --> 01:01:43.699
belonging and relationships and intimacy and
01:01:43.699 --> 01:01:47.170
community. We all want to be right and understand
01:01:47.170 --> 01:01:50.530
and have mastery and we all want to win and be
01:01:50.530 --> 01:01:54.269
competitive and successful. So we have all of
01:01:54.269 --> 01:01:58.170
these within us, but our personal history
and
01:01:58.170 --> 01:02:02.550
oftentimes our nature is that there's one of
01:02:02.550 --> 01:02:04.929
those identities that is louder than the others
01:02:04.929 --> 01:02:08.530
and it gets more resources. And that becomes
01:02:08.530 --> 01:02:11.710
our identity in the world. And it does change
01:02:11.710 --> 01:02:17.340
over time. When I'm utilizing this, I like the
01:02:17.340 --> 01:02:20.739
nuance of everybody has a primary thing that
01:02:20.739 --> 01:02:23.940
they are, and everybody has a very strong secondary.
01:02:24.880 --> 01:02:29.880
So that's the cusp. And when you look at the
01:02:29.880 --> 01:02:33.000
hybrid of those two things, you can see examples
01:02:33.000 --> 01:02:38.500
of that hybrid all the time. When you look at
01:02:38.500 --> 01:02:43.210
somebody who is a warrior, but is also very compassionate
01:02:43.210 --> 01:02:47.130
and focused on the service of people. Well, that
01:02:47.130 --> 01:02:49.809
character has existed in mythology. That's the
01:02:49.809 --> 01:02:55.170
Paladin. That's that virtuous warrior who's wanting
01:02:55.170 --> 01:02:59.389
to protect people. In many ways, you can almost
01:02:59.389 --> 01:03:04.349
look at that King Arthur story of that warrior,
01:03:04.969 --> 01:03:10.170
sorry, the magician king. You know, we're all
01:03:10.170 --> 01:03:11.610
hybrids, and I think that's what you're referring
01:03:11.610 --> 01:03:16.570
to with the cusp. Okay, so, open that account,
01:03:16.730 --> 01:03:18.690
unpack a little bit of that. One of the things
01:03:18.690 --> 01:03:26.909
that people do is set goals. And one of the traits
01:03:26.909 --> 01:03:30.449
that Philip instilled in me from working with
01:03:30.449 --> 01:03:33.469
him in K4 was setting a goal in each of these
01:03:33.469 --> 01:03:40.679
archetypes quarterly. the way that I interpret
01:03:40.679 --> 01:03:44.260
what that goal means for each archetype from
01:03:44.260 --> 01:03:47.619
quarter to quarter shifts. And I think that shifts
01:03:47.619 --> 01:03:52.239
by my interpretation of which one is my primary
01:03:52.239 --> 01:03:55.880
at that point in time. So a lot of people look
01:03:55.880 --> 01:03:59.039
at the warrior goal as I'm going to set a goal
01:03:59.039 --> 01:04:02.940
for physical. like weight loss, exercise, things
01:04:02.940 --> 01:04:05.000
like that. But at the end of the day, it's about
01:04:05.000 --> 01:04:08.559
decisive. So one quarter of my warrior goal was
01:04:08.559 --> 01:04:15.019
to say no. Because it takes decisive action to
01:04:15.019 --> 01:04:19.300
say no. And that's something I lack often. So
01:04:19.300 --> 01:04:24.159
it is a great opportunity to look at these, decide
01:04:24.159 --> 01:04:29.849
which one is your primary, but then also to look
01:04:29.849 --> 01:04:33.329
for the diagonal, and then look for ways that
01:04:33.329 --> 01:04:37.690
you can enhance your expression in the other
01:04:37.690 --> 01:04:41.690
houses,
the other archetypes, so that you can,
01:04:43.150 --> 01:04:47.690
as many of you might notice, Philip said I and
01:04:47.690 --> 01:04:52.050
we every time he talked about each archetype,
01:04:52.090 --> 01:04:58.099
acknowledging the fact that we are all for, and
01:04:58.099 --> 01:05:01.840
it's our opportunity to express which one is
01:05:01.840 --> 01:05:06.340
dominant at the moment, and our ability to recognize
01:05:06.340 --> 01:05:09.500
which one is dominant in someone else at the
01:05:09.500 --> 01:05:14.380
moment that is going to lead to the ability to
01:05:14.380 --> 01:05:19.139
succeed and to rally your team, because that's
01:05:19.139 --> 01:05:22.559
what we're here talking about is, how do you,
01:05:22.559 --> 01:05:26.489
it's not, being a generalist, it's recognizing
01:05:26.489 --> 01:05:30.050
what specialty is important. I don't know if
01:05:30.050 --> 01:05:32.090
I'm putting words in your mouth, Philip. But
01:05:32.090 --> 01:05:34.989
for me, that's the way I've interpreted it. That's
01:05:34.989 --> 01:05:39.530
why I look to Philip for guidance so often, is
01:05:39.530 --> 01:05:43.829
that this is a great refresher for me. And I
01:05:43.829 --> 01:05:48.230
encourage you all to go and look at the materials,
01:05:48.769 --> 01:05:52.969
read through them. Seek out Philips. Hold up
01:05:52.969 --> 01:05:55.070
your book again. I know we're not pitching, but
01:05:55.070 --> 01:05:57.909
you know, this is a great book because what it
01:05:57.909 --> 01:06:03.030
really does aside from the exercise that's in
01:06:03.030 --> 01:06:08.500
there for each week. It gives a refresher or
01:06:08.500 --> 01:06:11.380
a tutorial, if you've not seen it before, on
01:06:11.380 --> 01:06:14.559
all of these concepts and how to apply them to
01:06:14.559 --> 01:06:18.059
building that team and to succeeding for yourself
01:06:18.059 --> 01:06:20.219
within that team and your team succeeding as
01:06:20.219 --> 01:06:24.460
a whole. And with that, I'm going to thank -
01:06:24.460 --> 01:06:28.480
One last quoting piece on this, because this
01:06:28.480 --> 01:06:32.340
falls under the wellness piece, right? A holistic
01:06:32.340 --> 01:06:36.929
wellness of your life. is all four of these houses.
01:06:39.210 --> 01:06:46.309
Future, fitness, finances, family. We develop
01:06:46.309 --> 01:06:48.650
gratitude, because there's something to be grateful
01:06:48.650 --> 01:06:53.010
about, and we can also develop each one of those
01:06:53.010 --> 01:06:56.070
four things. Those are the four houses. Sovereign
01:06:56.070 --> 01:06:59.829
is future, warrior's fitness, magician is finances,
01:07:00.329 --> 01:07:03.920
or maybe faith. And then lover is family. That
01:07:03.920 --> 01:07:08.099
is the holistic and sustainable and adaptable
01:07:08.099 --> 01:07:13.739
full spectrum life. So, Dean, I love you, man.
01:07:14.280 --> 01:07:17.360
And everybody else out there, thank you for your
01:07:17.360 --> 01:07:22.480
time. And may this transform your family and
01:07:22.480 --> 01:07:25.900
your firm. Brilliant. Thank you so much, Philip.
01:07:26.280 --> 01:07:30.110
With that. We've got a few thank yous in the
01:07:30.110 --> 01:07:34.329
Q &A. I hope everyone has a fantastic day. Again,
01:07:34.570 --> 01:07:37.489
this program will pop up within about 24 hours
01:07:37.489 --> 01:07:41.130
in the BHB On Demand. Go back, re -watch it.
01:07:41.650 --> 01:07:45.570
Send your friends and family and coworkers. And
01:07:45.570 --> 01:07:48.909
good luck, everybody. Yeah, dog speed.