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Gabriella Pomare: Welcome back to Before It Breaks with Gabriella Pomari. This is the podcast where we talk about the things that often begin quietly. Before the resentment, before the emotional shutdown, before the separation, before the family rituals disappear, and before people stop caring for each other in the small ways that once made them feel loved. I'm Gabriella Pomari, family lawyer, award-winning author of The Collaborative Co-Parent. I'm a mum and I'm a co-parent. This podcast is not about perfect families. It is about conscious ones. And let me remind you that today's episode is not therapeutic or legal advice. Every family, relationship, and person circumstances are different. Now let's begin. So today's conversation is about food. But really, it's about care. It's about what it means to nourish people. It's the table, the kitchen, the cafe window, the family meal, the comfort food. The meal someone makes when they don't quite know how to say, I love you, but they know how to feed you. My guest today is Diana Manilang, the chef and owner behind Little Chef Little Kitchen and Little Chef Little Cafe in Long Island City. Diana is a self-taught chef, hospitality veteran, and business owner whose work brings together comfort food, personalized cooking, community care, and Filipino-American flavour. Her cafe grew out of her catering business, and through all the unpredictability of recent years, she has built something that feels deeply personal. A neighborhood place where food is not just served, but offered. And that is why I wanted to have this conversation with her. Because before relationships and families break, we often stop noticing the small acts of care that held everything together. The meal made after a long day. The coffee handed over without being asked. The lunch packed, the family recipe, the person who remembers what everyone likes. Food is never just food. In so many families, especially immigrant families, food is language, it's memory, it's identity, it's apology, it's comfort, it's culture. It's the way someone says you are home. And in relationships, the question's not only are we communicating, Sometimes the question is, are we still caring for each other? Are we still noticing each other's needs? Are we still gathering? Are we still making space at the table? Today I want to talk to Diana about food, family, culture, business, survival, community, hospitality, and the invisible labour of care, and what we feed each other before we fall apart. Thank you for being with me today, Diana. This is gonna be an interesting one and I'm very much looking forward to it. So, for people who are new to your work, can you tell us the story of the little chef and little kitchen and little chef little cafe? Sure thing. thank you for having me today. so I started Little Chef Little Kitchen just out of my apartment, doing really fun things for my friends. You know, I worked for a restaurant group, I was a partner there, but I handled mostly front of the house. And I missed the kitchen. And so during my free time, you know, I'd cook dinner parties, have people over, do themed things. And fast forward to New Year's, our gym decided to have like a whole 30 challenge. And so we did a you know, the workouts, but somebody had to make the food. So I was voluntold that I was going to make the food and just collect money from everyone, and it ended up being like one of the best things that could have happened. 'Cause people stayed on, it kept going, and then it just led me to, you know, leave my full time job and make this a full time thing. Yeah, became the beginning of your journey, I suppose. Yes. And I guess you've worked across the restaurant industry for so long. What do you think it's taught you about people and relationships and families? you know, bringing people to the table is one of the most classic ways of having people connect interpersonally. and it's so intimate in the sense that like, you know As a society, we think about intimacy in like more of a sexual, like perverse way. Whereas intimacy is like really letting someone into your orbit. And there's no better way than like nourishing your body and sharing that conversation across the table and like finding things that you have in common. Cause no matter who you are or where you're from, you need to eat. Yeah. That is true. And I find it to be such an experience as well. I know that, you know, even with my partner and previous partners, when you've gone and had such an experience, you're almost sharing something. unique together. And you can go away and say, you know, we have that particular memory. And it might not be that we had the most interesting conversation that night, because we probably didn't, but it was something that we experienced, you know, the taste. It was that it was that new, I guess, meal or whatever it might have been that we walk away with. And I often remember the food more than I remember the conversation of an evening. And that's pretty special. So before it breaks, and I'm on a podcast, I'm very interested in what happens in relationships and what holds people and couples and families together. Do you think food can be one of those things? Absolutely. One hundred percent. Why do you think that? You know, I mean, think about when you were a little kid and how excited you would get if, you know, your parent or adult bought you your favorite treat for, you know, h either having a bad day to cheer you up or, you know, 'cause you got a good grade or you've excelled at something or just to celebrate, you know. We still look forward to birthday cakes, which I think cakes should be an everyday food, not just a celebration food, but you know, I I I think that food ties in so many memories and and evokes so many emotions. You know, yeah. And I guess that's why when you have a special occasion, there's so much thought that goes into picking, you know, what food or what the menu might be and what
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the experience you want your guest to have, because that resonates with the couple or with the person or know, with the event that you're trying to have. And in many cultures, I think, and I think you and I were speaking about this earlier, people will say, Have you eaten? you know, that's often another way of saying, I love you or I care about you. Does that resonate with your experience, your family, your culture? 100%. Like as soon as you walk in, I'm Filipino, so as soon as you walk into any Filipino's house, the first question you're gonna hear is Kuma Encana. And it means like, have you eaten yet? Yeah. To the point where my father had a Darthabird, you know, the ones that repeat. Yeah. And when someone would come to the house, she would say, Kuma in cana, like that was the greeting, like this tiny little bird would say all the time. So like that's how often it got repeated and it still gets repeated. So take from that then then food played a big role in your family growing up and the way you experience your childhood? I mean it's what I've based my entire life around at this point. Is there anyone in particular within the family who you'd say that you learnt from or who, you know, who's You've taken the most away from in terms of your journey and your culinary experience? for sure. My mother. She was always the cook in our house. You know, she made the best food. Like, you know, when you think about how flavor evokes a memory, right? It takes you right back to childhood, Ratatouille, which is my favorite movie, which is actually how my company name came to be, because that's what Linguini calls Remy, his little chef. And so, you know, you see the food critic. eating that ratatouille and it brings him right back. Yeah to when he was a little kid, he's falling off his bike, his mom puts the plate in front of him. Like that's what flavor always evokes. And it just keeps going as life goes on. Yeah, I think you're right. I can remember experiences in my childhood in my life where I'm going back to, you know, the particular meal or there might be something that would always eat with my family. and I go back to that and then I feel that almost deja vu of, you know, living that experience again. Yeah, that's why they call it comfort food, right? Makes sense. With without you even knowing it, you're finding comfort. And what you're putting in in your body, what you're tasting, like the whole experience, all five senses at work. I love that. It is very true. So how would you say then that your heritage shaped the way that you cook and the way that you think about feeding people today across your venues? You know, when you go to the Philippines, you can't take three steps out the door without running into like a street vendor or just someone with a table set up with like, you know, treats on it, whatever it is. And so That's how my whole life has been, you know, it's always like, Where's the food? Is there gonna be food there? Like we plan everything around what we're going to eat and how we're going to eat it. And now my entire business is planned like that, right? Because we're providing breakfast, lunches, dinners, celebrations, everything in between. So that's basically how my life is I mean, and how beautiful is that to share so many experiences and part of life's journey with so many people. I think that's really special. Thank you. What do you think that I guess people lose when they stop gathering together for food, when it stops being part of I say celebration, I don't mean an event, but celebrating food and meals together, having that time. I think that's a really sad like loss because you're losing your humanity, right? That's what keeps us human. No matter how many technological advances we have, you know, the boom of AI right now, anything else, you can't replace food. Food is always going to be something that you need. And So is human connection, right? It's a proven scientific fact. You cannot produce oxytocin on your own. No. Right? We are pack animals. And so part of that is the feeding. Like even when you look back, like even at animals like the pack mentality, there's always a pack leader who makes sure that their pack is taken care of, which means they're fed, they're protected. and that's what, you know, that's what parents are to children. And then that's that's how it evolves, right? So no matter how much we develop, that part of the like we need food to survive, but we also need each other to survive, right? So sitting at a desk eating by yourself, it's not No, I agree. Yeah. And this is why I say food is so linked to relationships. People will say to me, but how? How are you linking this conversation? I think it's it's beautiful as a part of life's journey where you say that is, you know, what's bringing us together. That's what's creating a memory for us that we'll take on. But I found that so interesting. AI is literally taking over the world right now. There is nothing That it look at the moment I can't do with that. It helps me a lot day to day. But I've never sat back and actually thought about it actually can't create food. You're right, it can't create that experience, the taste, what you're taking away from a meal. And that's so interesting. So you are one of the very few, I think, professions or jobs or careers where AO may not overtake you just yet. You've spoken a lot about getting to know the people that come to your window. So what kind of connection, I suppose, does that bring to you every day? What do you see? How has that changed the way you view things? God, it's it's amazing you know, seeing families grow, right? Where you see, you know, you meet the couple, then you see them, you know, fall in love, their love grows, and then like now they're having a baby, so you watch them, you know, you watch the baby grow inside, then one day all of a sudden the baby's on the outside. And then like stroller, walking, scooter, like the whole the whole
evolution of it. so that's really special and we get to celebrate that with them. so that's you know the I ha I always tease like the most heartbreaking thing is that we meet all of these wonderful people. Cause like I never really dated in New York, right? Like I, you know, I got married and here we are. But you know, getting to know these people, getting to see them all the time and then they come and they're like, we're moving. Yeah. Or like you haven't seen them in months and you're like, Did I get ghosted? Like where did they go? And then, you know, it's they become part of your family, right? Yeah, they have like our everyday routine. And so but what's nice is like now with social media it's easier to keep in touch. So you are very busy, there's no doubt about that. I think how you keep yourself together, running the businesses and doing everything else, it is hard. How do you care for yourself while running the business and caring for everyone around you? you know, it's take it a lot. To realize like I have to fill my cup first before I can fill anybody else's coffees. Yeah. And so you know, I do take the time to reflect. I definitely eat my meals every day, not standing over a garbage can anymore. Like just like shoving things down. Take time for you. Right. Exactly. Like taking those ten minutes is is a game changer. You just get time to reset. you know, it's so yeah, like it's as basic as like Eating meals, taking the extra few minutes, like, you know, when I shower, like take a walk, when I feel like things are overwhelming. It's just the everyday basic things that you forget to do that are part of that self care. And what do you think that I guess having the business and entrepreneurship has taught you about yourself, about survival, about relationships and family? The juggle I call it. Yeah. I mean, getting through COVID was gnarly. Yeah. Tell us about your experience. we opened our brick and mortar four months before COVID. god. So 20 2019 in November, we opened, like officially opened our doors. And it was such a crazy experience. But again, like everything that we had done kind of led us into different areas. so the fact that we could like like make big batches of meals, we knew how to, you know, portion them out, container them, and do it quickly and efficiently. when the time came, we were able to flip that to like send it to hospitals, send it to housing authorities and do all of those things and partner with different organizations. Cause I remember, you know, our fridge was full. It had like over 200 meals in it for our clients. And I would I was getting phone calls and messages like, Hey, we left New York, just donate our meals or you don't get rid of Wow. So it was like calling around like the churches and being like, What do I do with all this food? But thank God we did that because that's where, you know, how we survived for the next four or four or six months. Yeah. It was incredible here. And I guess that's how you played your part in it too, and how you were able to, you know, play a part in helping people who are going through so much here. And I guess a lot of it then didn't go to waste. And yeah. And from there, how did the business rebuild or I mean that really defined our mission as like, you know, a community like hub. So, you know, and on the backside of it too, w we were, you know, just giving away meals to people who needed So we said no questions asked between eleven AM and one PM every day. We're giving a hot meal. you know, and we just did it again in November, when benefits were cut off during the shutdown of the government. So, you know, it's always something that we're going to do. And I love that that piece of it came out of something that could have been so tragic and like was essentially a business killer. For us, it was like, nope, this is how we're gonna grow and this is how we're gonna bless everyone and get our blessings back and, you know, do all the things. Exactly right. I think that's special. And it's not something you hear every day that you're able to see the good in such a terrible experience and such a hard time for so many people. So I guess if we're bringing food and the idea of food and experiences back to relationships, how do you think that food can repair tension in a family or in a relationship? And have you seen a meal soften a conversation or bring people back together, you know, either within the cafe or restaurants or generally across a meal? I mean, yeah, even as a kid, like, you know, in our culture in my household, like, you know, I'm sorry wasn't weren't words that were spoken often. from adults to children. And so the way that I knew my parents were sorry was, you know, my favorite meal would be on the table that night. Or they'd be like, Hey, do you want to go grab, you know, something from like a snack from the store? Like, you know, like fast food culture wasn't what it was now. So like, you know, they'd be like, do you want to get pizza or do you want to get McDonald's? You know, like that kind of thing. That's how I knew like I was no longer in trouble or that like everything had died down. I really love that. And and you're entirely right because, you know, I'll have a disagreement with my five year old and I'll feel really bad about it. I might have lost my temper, mum's do, you know, things got too much. And I don't want to be the one to say sorry, I'm not gonna, you know, give in to the fact that I've been angry but now I'm saying sorry, but I will often say, Hey tonight, do you wanna have, you know, whatever his favorite meal is or shall we go get ice cream or let's cook something together and I didn't think about it, but it is, it's a way of repairing and saying I'm sorry without actually doing that. I mean it's beautiful. Even with my husband now, you know, I have a very busy schedule and you know, I he tries not to, you know, pout or, you know, make me feel bad about it. But at the end of the day
I do feel bad when I don't get to spend time with him or you know, I'm cooking for everyone else and I'm like, Did you order pizza? Like you know, I I I don't get a chance to, you know, put dinner on the table like I'd like to. So when I do get a chance, I'm like, Hey, I'll cook for you tonight or hey, I left you something in the fridge. Is there particular meal that's his favorite meal that you say if it's gonna be a special night or I've got some making up to do or I just wanna make it unique that you'll you'll go to? Yes. there's this bolognese that he loves. Okay. It takes me like a full day to cook in. But I will do it and you know, I'll make big batches of it. Well he knows it's a special night than if he could smell that cooking. Correct. Correct. I feel like some now. Nothing like a good bolognese. Right. What would you say is the difference between cooking for someone but actually nourishing someone? You know, for me, they're one and the same. Right. I feel like when you are, again, it's it's very instant. You're putting a piece of yourself onto a plate before someone. And then this person is going to take it and that's gonna give them life. Like literally give them life. So regardless of like what you're cooking or what you're preparing, you are nourishing someone, right? So for me, like there is no difference. You know, what I'm doing is to sustain you. What I'm doing is to make sure that you stay okay. Yeah, and I think that is a big part of relationships and nourishing, you know, the communication that you have, nourishing what's going on at home, you know, being a businesswoman and and as you say, being as busy as you are, how do you nourish your relationship and make sure that things remain healthy within the home? You know, when we're both really busy, we still like will make that five, ten minutes in the morning to have coffee together. E like I my husband has gotten up out of bed, made me coffee at like four thirty in the morning, you know, made sure I've Had my coffee, we've talked for a few minutes and then he's gone back to bed. You know. I think you've got a keeper there. Very, very few people do that. But I do. I think it's about having that, you know, that five or ten minutes together because it shows the person that you still care. Right. I'm bothered enough. And may not ever be every day. but it shows, you know, I still care enough to get up, you know, to wish you goodbye and have a great day, or just to ask, you know, how are you? Yeah. and I think that is so important, keeping, you know, a family together. Correct. I always I've always thought like especially for my parents, it's the little things, it's those small gestures, those everyday things, versus like ground gestures. I I totally agree. Right? Like, you know, sure I love presents, but like if you go to the store and buy me paper towels, I'm gonna give you the same reaction as if you put a diamond bracelet on my my wrist. Right. Like for me that's just as exciting because it says, I thought about you. Yeah. I knew you needed this. Here you go. Yeah, and I went out of my way to do it. It's not something that probably, you know, a partner necessarily wants to do on on the way home from work. Were there things growing up, you know, within your family, whether it was your parents, grandparents, whoever it may have been, gestures that, you know, you looked at, you learned from and you said, I want to take this and you know, incorporate this into my adulthood, you know, my marriage or my relationships. yeah, I a big one is we actually have a love note wall in our cafe. So, you know, we encourage people to leave us love notes or leave them for each other. and my mom used to do that because she used to leave really early every day. So I wouldn't even see her in the morning before I would go to school. And my parents traveled a lot. Yeah. So they would leave me notes everywhere, just so as like reminders, you know. That is so special. It was very special. And so, you know, we replicated that. and do you tell your customers that that's where the idea came from? I mean, I don't really have a chance to all the time. True. So this is kinda like my way, I guess, of telling them. But like everyone knows as soon as you walk in, like it's just like a whole wall of post its just says everything that you could possibly imagine. I love it because we forget, you know, we don't have time during our days to communicate all day. And you know, these days, you know, text it's just so everyday. Whereas to actually sit down and think about what to write and to put it you know, and Pentapad and to leave a note. I just think that's so special. It's something I want to take away and I definitely want to start doing at home. I think it's beautiful. In relationships, I think people often talk about communication and we've done a bit of that now, but they don't always talk about care. what do you think care looks like to you in everyday small ways, whether that's through gestures like, you know, writing a note or through food? There's so many different ways that you can show you care. Again, it doesn't have to be big grand gestures. you know, like even with my team. at the cafe. It's always like, guys, do you want anything for family meal? Do you want snacks? Go take a break, sit down, have a walk. Like I'm always telling them, like, eat like a human. You know, I've worked in so many places where we're just like rushing to, you know, just like fill ourselves and and go back. And I'm like, take a few minutes, like, you know, try to do your thing. you know, I'm practically kicking them out sometimes. and like You know, even just like, hey, I got those towels that you like. Yeah. Yeah. But I guess your staff are your family too in some respects. I mean, when you're there all day, every day, I'm a bit like that at my office, is they become the people that you spend morning, noon, and night with. And I think you do. You need to nourish
them like you would your own family. Are there things that you've needed to implement or tools or strategies to keep, you know, everyone unified together or to help keep staff because I know, especially in the hospitality industry in the restaurant, Cafe business, it is hard. How do you stay together as family and maintain those relationships? I mean, we just we try to have as much fun as possible because you know, there's days that are super stressful, that are super busy. but I remind them like it's just the day, it's just the moment, like in what we're doing, you know, it's it's important, but it's also like a bacon, egg and cheese. There's no reason to cry about it. You can just remake it. Yeah. You know, if you burn it. Yeah. Remake it, like if you drop it, remake it, it's fine. Like that's nice. Do you think that there are particular rituals around food or around meals and experiences that families need to protect? Yeah. And like I know everyone puts such emphasis on holidays and things like that, but I think it's more around the everyday. You know, like those everyday habits that we have. Right? So, you know, whether it's you know having breakfast at a certain time or having a certain thing for breakfast together, you know, just making that time, if it's once a week or twice a week or whatever, like I think that's the stuff that really needs to be protected because in a society where we're like in our screens and in our technology, you know, we think because we're on social media together we're connecting. Because I'm texting you, we're connecting. But we're not sitting across from each other, looking at each other, you know, having a conversation or even eating a meal. You know, and I do remember when I was in college, one of the best things that came around was Skype. And I was studying abroad and, you know, I was able to Skype my friends while like it was nighttime and morning for them, but we would like be able to have coffee or like eat, you know, it was something that we could do together. And I think that's the kind of stuff we do need to protect is that like real connection. Yeah, I think you're right, because we do we place such an emphasis on birthdays. You know, the family will get together for a birthday, but why not during the week? I mean, I look at my household for example, and we're two working parents and with It's true, we don't make any time to sit down together for dinner. It's, you know, we'll eat separately, you know, the kids will eat at a certain time and half the time with their iPads in front of them. It is terrible and I know that. But it's my way of getting them to eat. And I think that's not the experience that they should be growing up with. There should be as best as we can, you know, the family at the table together. sharing the food together because I do think that that's how you learn and you know, they're the values that you then grow up with and what you take away. As you said before, you learnt so much
from your family growing up and little things they were doing. And I I want to give that to my kids too. So I guess if there's one thing I'm definitely taking away from this conversation and a lot of my listeners will be it's to pause and to make time for the everyday meal to sit together to have that eye contact. What I find is that, you know, Everyone gets so stressed out about holidays. Yeah. What am I gonna bring? What am I gonna cook? Do I have this ready? Do I have that ready? And it's like you're, you know, you're basically taking the joy out of it because you're putting so much pressure on yourself. And then I find that we do that with the everyday meals too, because it's like I just gotta get them fed, then I have to get them to karate or gymnastics or whatever else. And it's like your kids can feel that, your kids can see that, right? So that's how they're gonna interpret what. meals and like feeding themselves is gonna be like hectic and stressful. Right. And so we want to teach them, or at least I do, want to teach them the opposite of that. That eating is like a time for me. It's a time that I can enjoy. It's like no matter how busy I am, I'm gonna eat something delicious and then I'm gonna go to my next task. I love that. Right? Yeah. You know And you do keep repeating that and you're right. It's it is it's you time and it's that special part of the day where you take time away from the business. You have the meal and it's about, you know, you and your thoughts and your food. This might be an interesting one, but part of the podcast and part of the work I do is with separated families and blended families and co-parents. So I was thinking about it. And you tell me if you have some thoughts, but do you think for separated or blended families or even just busy families, how can food still create a sense of home? So if kids are still living between two homes, perhaps food can assist, you know, with that idea of the broken home. The transition and the comfort. But again, it's like that comfort food. one of my very good friends, we worked together for a while and she, you know, her parents divorced when she was young. But the one thing she said that she loved that they did and like looks back on, you know, is that at every f like graduation, at every celebration, whether it was for her or siblings or whoever, they always took a family picture together with both parents in the frame. And they always sat down and ate a meal, even if they sat down at separate sides of the table, you know, and I see it too because my husband's parents are divorced, they have been for a long time. But once my brother in law had children, it really did bring the whole family back together. You know, because like I think it's important to to to make the family know, and especially the young ones know, like Regardless of what the relationship status is, we can still sit down and have a meal. Yeah. We can still sit down and like enjoy this, you know, for you. Yeah. Right. And I guess food then remains the safe space. Yeah. Food remains the safe space where we're still gonna act civil, you know, whether it's like just over a birthday cake that's like ten minutes or everybody getting ice cream or whatever it is. and so I think it's you know, I have friends who are going through divorce or have gone through through divorce and have young kids. And like one of the ways that they keep it regulated is that they have the same snacks at each house. Right. They have the same bed sheets at each house. Or they have different ones that say, Okay, these are for mom's house, these are for dad's house. So they know they're comforted. They have their stuff at both places. Yeah. That's you're entirely right. And I know what I do with my son is that I make sure that I know what his favorite food is at the moment at his dad's house so that I can make it at my home too. And it's just so that I know that's his special meal that when he's had a hard day at school or I can tell that he's a bit dysregulated, that's the thing that'll calm him down. And it's similar amongst both the homes and it does. It works really well. Yeah. Is there a meal that you think that everyone should know how to make for someone that they love? Yeah. Your your own favorite meal. Not theirs, yours. Okay. Why? because it's something that you get to share. Yeah. Right. And it's something that like is a memory for them and like it's a way to connect. And and in turn they'll show you theirs. True. Right. But you should know what you want for yourself before learning somebody else's. Right. Like you're the one person that's always going to be with you. So I believe that you should know what your favorite meal is. You should know how to make it for yourself. So if even if there's no one else around. When you're having a bad day, you get to do that for yourself. That's so true. Right. Yeah, I've not thought about it like that. No, that is really true. So I guess the final question for this anyway, for this podcast, is what do you wish that people noticed earlier before it breaks? When you stop making time, when you stop doing those little things, like, you know, have that checklist in your mind, right? If it's that important to you, it's on your to-do list, right? Like you wake up every day, you brush your teeth, you wash your face. you know, did I connect with my partner for five minutes today? If I didn't, why didn't I? But ca you know, is there five minutes now that I can do that? You know, if you're constantly reflecting and seeing like and it's it's work, right? It's it is work. It's a choice. And when you stop choosing that, you know, that's that's when you know like, okay, I either need to start reinvesting to repair this, or is it time to, you know, let it go? But that you know, that's one thing I you I I think it's important for yourself too. Because, you know, again, like, am I not taking enough time for myself? Because again, you're you are someone that can break. You know, and if you break, that can cause everything else around you to break. So yeah, recognizing that is is very important. Absolutely. I think there's a lot of truth in that and a lot that people can learn and take away from that. Thank you for this conversation. I feel like I've learnt so much and it's a different way of looking at things. I think it's unique. but I really love how we brought together the idea of relationships and families and food and experience because it really is also interconnected. So, where can people find you and learn more about you and come and visit you? so our cafe is located at 543 48th Avenue in Long Island City. you can follow us on Instagram at Little Chef LittleCafe. And I can be found at Little Chef Diana. Brilliant. Thank you, Diana. Thank you. What I loved about Diana's story is that it reminds us that food is one of the oldest forms of care. It can be simple, it can be practical. It can be rushed, imperfect, handed through a cafe window, packed into a container, made from memory, made from culture, made from whatever someone had left at the end of the day. But still, it says something. It says, I I thought of you. It says, you matter. It says, come sit down. It says, let me take care of you for a moment. And I think that that's such an important reminder for relationships and families. Because sometimes things don't only break through conflict, they break through neglect, through exhaustion, through everyone being fed except the person doing the feeding, through losing the rituals that once brought people back to the table. So, for anyone listening, I hope that this episode makes you think about the ways care is showing up in your home, your family, and your relationships. Who's feeding everyone? Who's being nourished? Who's sitting at the table? And who has quietly stopped asking for what they need. Because before it breaks, there is often still time to gather, still time to notice, still time to care, still time to make something that says you are loved. I'm Gabriella Pomari, and this is Before It Breaks.