#288 Shaken to Surrender: What Happens When God Won't Let You Go

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I had my antidepressants, my pain medication, and I was about to take them both.
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And she was going to call me, but she thought she's going to think I'm crazy.
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So she texted me and she said, Hi, Miss my name, and shared her name.
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And she said, I'm at this party, I'm hearing some things, and I don't care if they're true or not.
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I just want you to know that Jesus told me to tell you he loves you.
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Woo! If you need somebody, I'm here for you.
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If you're tired of doing all the right things and still feeling exhausted, stuck in your body, and disconnected from God, this podcast is for you.
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I'm Dr.
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Tabitha, a triple board certified functional medicine physician, and I help women stop fighting their bodies and start healing them God's way.
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Let's get into it.
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Welcome back to the Fast of Faith podcast.
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I am still in California, and I am at Focal Studios.
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This place is the real deal.
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I have been pampered and just treated so amazing, and I have done a few interviews, and right now we are going to actually interview the owner of the studio.
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And it's not because she owns the studio, but that is a blessing.
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It's because she's an absolutely incredible woman that God brought into my life a couple years ago.
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And I just I don't want to keep her to myself.
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Have you ever had a friend come in just for a divine assignment?
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That is what happened with me and Amise.
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So I want you to stay tuned today and just listen to our conversation and think about the people that have come into your life in the past, or maybe somebody's about to step into your life and it's a divine assignment from God.
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And I want you to just be open to that idea because here's the deal: I was praying for friends, I was praying to be around women who could speak life over me and they knew the word of God and they just lived differently.
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And when I met this woman, it was it was awe-inspiring to say the least, just the way that she was walking out her kingdom life here on earth.
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I just, I've never met anyone like her.
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And so I'm here to share her with you.
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Her story is going to move you, and it's gonna give you a couple aha's.
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It's gonna give you a breakthrough of like, wait a second, God is actually in all of this, He never leaves you or forsakes you.
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So stay tuned.
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If you have to pause and come back, that's the beauty of the podcast.
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But finish this episode.
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It is for you, I promise.
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So let me just sing Amise's praise.
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Amise Kubeki, she is a powerhouse speaker.
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She has spoken at churches, conferences, high schools, everywhere you can think of.
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And she doesn't just speak and inspire people, she moves them, she softens their heart and really just invites Jesus in on the conversation, and people are forever changed.
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So that is gonna happen to you.
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I'm really excited for this conversation.
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Welcome, Amis, to Fast of Faith.
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Thank you so much, my sweet friend.
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Thank you for having me.
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I cannot believe that we're sitting in the studio that God told me while I was sitting with you that He would give birth to.
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And you're here.
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So thank
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you so much.
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Yeah, God is so good.
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I just want to take our listeners back for a minute because two years ago I was here in California.
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Like California fills my soul.
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I was here for an event that Brooke Thomas was putting on at the Ritz-Carleton.
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I think it was a two or three-day event, but you were the first person to speak to me, and we got seated next to each other.
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I don't even remember if it was assigned seating or what, but we did this activity, and I want to share this because this really was the beginning of me finding my Christ-centered identity.
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We did the activity where we figured out what is the nickname you were given as a child that has been holding you back?
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What kind of lie did you come into agreement with?
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And I shared with you that everybody used to call me Krabby Tabby when I was growing up.
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Tabby is short for Tabitha.
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And by the time I was 11 or 12 years old, I had a spirit of depression on me that I just couldn't lift.
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I had, you know, attempted suicide.
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And by the time I met you, I had been on five different antidepressants, and I just thought that is who I am.
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That is my identity.
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And it's because people spoke it over to me.
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And you were a complete stranger, yet you prayed over me and you lifted that spirit of depression, and I have been free ever since.
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So I share that because we lose hope or we just think this is our lot in life, right?
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Right.
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And it shouldn't be that way.
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So can you speak to your side of the story and what was going through your mind?
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It was um one of those moments where you know that it's a divine appointment.
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Yeah.
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Because little did you know my story.
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And so, as you were sharing, I was like, okay, Jesus, nothing's wasted.
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As someone who had tried to commit suicide three times.
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Um, and for the Lord to have come to my rescue, not once, but twice, but three times.
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Wow.
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For him to spare me, to save me for in that moment to speak life over you.
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And I just remember when you were talking, I got real mad at the enemy.
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I was like, uh, no, you're not going to tell my sister the same lie that you tried to tell me.
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And I felt the Spirit of God so powerfully say, No, you tell her that this is a lie, this is not for me, that this is not what I've said over her.
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And you tell her how much I love her, how I've seen her, how I've been with her.
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You tell her that I'll never left her, I'll never forsake her, I never did, I never will.
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You tell her that's not her name, but she's been given a name by me.
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And so we just rebuked, rejected, canceled, reversed that lie over you and spoke life, the same life that he spoke over me.
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I feel like he was speaking over me and speaking over you at the exact same time.
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Wow.
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And yeah, so I have goosebumps.
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I'm visibly shaking.
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I just I feel it in every cell of my body that it was a divine appointment.
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And we were doing spiritual warfare and we were freed on that day.
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Amen.
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Real quick, I just want to interrupt this conversation for something super important.
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Even though we need to take care of ourselves spiritually, emotionally, and physically, we do have to take care of ourselves at a cellular level.
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And that is why I have my Fast to Face supplement line.
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So let's just take a minute to hear about something that might be the game changer that you need in this season.
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We really need to up-level how we're taking care of our temple.
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I used to treat mine like a garbage can, I will just be honest.
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And I'm not okay with that anymore.
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So this is one of the most important things to me is that I'm taking high-quality supplements that are actually doing what they say they're doing, and I'm getting my money's worth, and I'm not making my body worse by putting the wrong stuff in it.
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So let's talk about Hormone Tame Essential Multivitamin, because even though it gives you all the vitamins and minerals you need, there's extra goodness in there, isn't there?
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I think you have a bottle sitting next to you.
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Tell us about Hormone Tame.
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Hormone tame is five products in one.
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Um, if you listen to the the other episode, one of the things that we talked about is oftentimes, you know, women are just people, we're taking a lot of supplements.
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And the nice thing about a lot of the um supplements that we have here at Fast of Faith is that they're just so consolidated, where you could take this and you are basically taking five products.
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So, yes, this is gonna be a multivitamin, but there is so much more.
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We actually kind of refer to it as a multivitamin on um steroids.
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One of the key things that this is gonna be helping is your mitochondria.
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All you need to know is that they are responsible for so many systems and processes in your body.
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The reason that we need supplements is because we're just supplementing areas that we just can't really kind of get with our food.
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So we're filling in those gaps.
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And so Hormone Tame is inviting the body to just fill in all of those gaps.
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So you got to fill those gaps.
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And hormone tame it will help to do that.
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I if you're cool with it, I would love for you to share with my listeners, you know, how you went through the 2010 Haiti earthquake and you've gone through a cancer fight, and like you've gone through some of the hardest things people can go through, but you are just here praising Jesus.
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So were you always this faithful?
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Uh I wish I could say that.
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I would love to um, I think a lot of people think when they see this side, right?
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Because this is the the overcoming part, this is coming through it part.
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But to go back to the beginning, no, absolutely not.
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I I grew up in the church, I was very churched.
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I had a very strong church family, but I did not have my own personal relationship with Jesus until many years later.
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I would lose my virginity, get pregnant, I would walk through almost having an abortion, anything that you could think of of a trial, fire, test, counter to right looking like that Christian.
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Um, that I went through all of it.
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I really what was the point for me that it it came down to um making a decision about my own faith was when my dad got cancer.
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And that for me really was the change in everything.
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That's when faith was tested for me.
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Yeah.
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Because I got very angry at God because I thought, how could a good God let my dad get sick?
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Why would you let cancer come?
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He was only 42 years old.
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Wow.
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And we were all babies.
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I'm the oldest of five girls.
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And so I felt very forsaken.
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Yeah.
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And I think that's the point where the enemy comes in.
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So when I think of trying to commit suicide later, it was I was angry at God, I was mad at God.
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I thought, well, you took my dad because my dad would lose his life to cancer, lymphoma cancer of the stomach.
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And he had a job working as an engineer.
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He worked as an ass at Aztec.
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And I believe that part of it, which you and I have talked about, was his physical health was cancer coming in from environment right circumstances.
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Right.
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But his spiritual sickness was my dad had not healed, forgiven himself, had not walked through his own process of healing, which I believe is an inward, outward manifestation of faith.
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Absolutely.
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That's what Brooke and I spoke about when we recorded in her cancer journey.
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When there is things that have not been dealt with that are buried inside of you and not addressed, they do manifest physically, and cancers very often the diagnosis that you get.
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So how did you go from being so angry and feeling forsaken?
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Like, how did you get back to Jesus?
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Well, I ran away from him first.
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And through running away, I would go to the darkest places.
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I mean, I was married, I was having an affair, I was living a double life, I was escorting anything and everything that would be good or um a relationship with God that would say I love Jesus, I went against it in every part of my soul.
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Uh, and it was definitely looking back like if you're not my dad because you took my dad.
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And so in that I lost myself completely to the point that I did try to commit suicide three times.
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But this is where, despite the fact that I wasn't praying, the power of prayer is I had a praying mom.
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Ooh, yes.
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I know my mom saved me.
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Like if she hadn't been warring for me for 20 years, I swear, you know, we have the same father.
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God is our father.
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But I am telling you, you and I have lived parallel lives.
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I did the same thing.
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It's like anything I could do to destroy my life and um prove that I'm not worthy of God's love, I would do it.
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And God didn't stop.
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He just chased me down, and it sounds like he chased you down.
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Yes, yeah.
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We just happened to have the same daddy.
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Yep, exactly.
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He would not leave me alone.
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And so he sent this woman, a mighty woman of God, who saw me beyond what I was doing, beyond how I was living.
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And she said, I need her phone number to her husband.
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They were at a party.
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He got my number, she went out to the car.
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Little did she know it was at the counter.
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I had my antidepressants, my pain medication, and I was about to take them both.
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And she was going to call me, but she thought she's gonna think I'm crazy.
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So she texted me and she said, Hi, Miss my name and shared her name.
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And she said, I'm at this party, I'm hearing some things, and I don't care if they're true or not.
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I just want you to know that Jesus told me to tell you he loves you.
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If you need somebody, I'm here for you.
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And so she met me in my darkest state, not knowing that in that moment I would collapse on the floor like a two-year-old toddler.
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She said, I'll meet you tomorrow.
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I don't remember texting us, but I said yes.
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I met her the next morning at Starbucks at 7 a.m.
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She witnessed, mentored, discipled, everything all in one time.
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She prayed over me.
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It was like a holy fire.
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And I did not have the faith at the time.
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I was holding on to the hem of his garment through her because she was clinging to faith for me.
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So she said, God's gonna save your life, he's gonna save your marriage.
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This is not who you are.
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He loves you, you're healed.
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She started speaking healing over me.
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I was like, What in the world?
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I just asked you.
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You know, yeah.
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I was not expecting all of that.
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But she would not leave me because he never left me.
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For the next two years, she would walk through every fire with me, pray for me.
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And that would come with a lot of other things, which would lead up to the what I did not know was my first missions trip in 2010.
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And so when you ask, like, what happened?
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I went on my first missions trip.
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I get to Haiti, I meet these beautiful little yummy chocolate babies, fall in love, fell in love with the culture, the people, but most of all their worship.
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And that is where I saw faith.
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They had faith that I had never understood before in my life.
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They would eat, these babies would eat three days a week, but they worshiped God, and they would be laid out on their faces for two hours before a meal.
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And here I thought my life was hard.
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And so God started to renew my mind, give me new eyes, a new heart.
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And I started to truly understand what it was to walk by faith, 2 Corinthians 5, 17, and not by sight.
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And I learned through them what worship was.
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And so I thought that was like I came to Haiti and I was done, girlfriend.
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I was like, I go to heaven now.
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I know who Jesus is, you know, like this is what faith is.
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Yeah.
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Little did I know that God was like, No Ami is not only do I want to renew your mind, but I want to give you a new heart.
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And so three days into that trip, that earthquake would hit the 7.2 earthquake, and 300,000 people would die in that earthquake.
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But me, my daughters, and 14 team members would be spared.
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And so when I came back home, and that's a whole nother story.
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But by the time I came home, my mom said I was up and CNN was there and Channel 9 News, all these news stations, and I'm at our church and I'm sitting on the stage, and everyone's talking about their experience.
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And they got to me and they said, So were you afraid?
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And I said, No.
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And I asked everybody, Do you know Jesus?
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And my mom said, because I never talked like that.
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I was like, Do you know Jesus?
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Because he loves you, and I said, and he was with us, and angels were with us, and we were protected.
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And I saw them on the ends of both streets every day, and the Bible came alive.
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Wow.
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And so my mom said, Well, she said to my husband, I don't know who that is up there, but I'm gonna have to get to know her.
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And that's where everything changed.
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That is so powerful.
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Wow.
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I I feel like that always happens as soon as you have your eyes opened, you have this realization of like, yes, God loves me, He's for me, and your faith is renewed, the test comes, right?
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Because you could have gone a completely opposite direction of like, wow, God, you really did forsake me yet again.
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You just put me through this hell, but that's not how you chose to see it.
00:18:11.519 --> 00:18:13.279
That's so powerful.
00:18:13.599 --> 00:18:14.000
Amen.
00:18:14.240 --> 00:18:14.720
Amen.
00:18:14.720 --> 00:18:21.359
And I would encourage anyone listening, go back and think about the things you've been through.
00:18:21.359 --> 00:18:27.039
And maybe you feel like God wasn't there, but I promise you, He was in every single moment.
00:18:27.039 --> 00:18:30.000
He knew exactly what you were gonna go through.
00:18:30.000 --> 00:18:33.839
And maybe you should have responded a different way.
00:18:33.839 --> 00:18:39.039
I know I have failed many tests, and he just is like, okay, we'll do that again, right?
00:18:39.039 --> 00:18:49.759
We'll change up the characters and the players a little bit, but we're gonna keep doing it until you see how good I really am, and you just start living into a Romans 828 life.
00:18:49.759 --> 00:18:52.480
Like that is it's all for our good.
00:18:52.480 --> 00:18:54.160
It's all for his glory, right?
00:18:54.799 --> 00:18:56.160
Yes, amen, amen.
00:18:56.160 --> 00:19:01.440
Yes, and when you say trials and because of course I'm thinking that's it, right?
00:19:01.440 --> 00:19:04.000
So that had to be the biggest thing.
00:19:04.000 --> 00:19:05.920
We're done, God.
00:19:05.920 --> 00:19:06.720
We're good.
00:19:06.720 --> 00:19:09.279
Why can't it be that way?
00:19:09.279 --> 00:19:14.079
Yeah, it's not no, that would not be the end um of the story.
00:19:14.079 --> 00:19:18.880
If anything, that was probably the beginning of the shaking for a lot of things to come.
00:19:19.200 --> 00:19:19.440
Okay.
00:19:19.440 --> 00:19:27.440
Well, when I met you two years ago, your faith was so strong and profound, it like shook that spirit of depression off of me.
00:19:27.440 --> 00:19:30.240
So how how long?
00:19:30.240 --> 00:19:33.920
That was 10 years or 2010.
00:19:33.920 --> 00:19:39.839
Okay, and I met you in 2022, so it was a while.
00:19:39.839 --> 00:19:40.480
Okay.
00:19:40.480 --> 00:19:42.720
So you were strong at that point.
00:19:42.720 --> 00:19:43.359
Yes.
00:19:43.359 --> 00:19:46.079
But then what happened last year?
00:19:46.079 --> 00:19:49.519
And then more shaking came.
00:19:52.000 --> 00:19:53.920
Then the next earthquake came.
00:19:53.920 --> 00:20:01.039
I would be diagnosed with stage one ovarian cancer, and my mom was diagnosed with stage four kidney cancer five days after me.
00:20:01.039 --> 00:20:02.079
Oh my gosh.
00:20:02.079 --> 00:20:09.200
So we would be shaken as a family and had no idea that that would come.
00:20:09.200 --> 00:20:12.079
Thought with my dad that we were done with that.
00:20:12.079 --> 00:20:12.559
Right.
00:20:12.559 --> 00:20:13.279
Right.
00:20:13.279 --> 00:20:19.599
It wasn't anything that genetically, naturally, that we were looking for or expecting.
00:20:19.599 --> 00:20:24.480
So when I went to the doctor and they said, we're gonna run one more test.
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:31.119
And you know how the Holy Spirit just get that little like because he always prepares you, right?
00:20:31.119 --> 00:20:33.440
There isn't, he doesn't leave, he never forsakes.
00:20:33.440 --> 00:20:40.000
There is a little whisper, and I believe that the father was saying, Amice, I'm I'm still here and I'll be with you.
00:20:40.000 --> 00:20:45.759
And so there was a prepared in my spirit, I did not expect it to be that.
00:20:45.759 --> 00:20:55.839
So when it came back that yes, um you we need to have uh a hysterectomy, a full hysterectomy.
00:20:55.839 --> 00:21:03.440
And at that time I was 46 years old, which is not what I was expecting at 46 years old.
00:21:03.440 --> 00:21:12.799
I'm thinking I'm gonna go through the natural stages of life and all of the things that would come with seasoning and life would come at an appointed time, and they came a lot sooner.
00:21:12.799 --> 00:21:19.440
But I had a moment to make a decision, and I could either respond by fear or I could respond in faith.
00:21:20.160 --> 00:21:21.839
Did you hear that, ladies?
00:21:21.839 --> 00:21:31.279
There is always a moment where you get to decide am I going to partner with fear or am I gonna partner with faith?
00:21:31.279 --> 00:21:37.200
And I I think people feel like life just happens to them, and it's not.
00:21:37.200 --> 00:21:38.799
Life is happening for you.
00:21:38.799 --> 00:21:40.480
Are you making the right choice?
00:21:40.480 --> 00:21:42.240
So thank you for pointing that out.
00:21:42.240 --> 00:21:44.160
So, what did you choose?
00:21:46.000 --> 00:21:52.240
I allowed myself a moment of humanity, which I believe Jesus was such a beautiful example of.
00:21:52.240 --> 00:21:55.519
Like he wept, right, when Lazarus died.
00:21:55.519 --> 00:21:59.599
There was a moment of humanity that he wept in understanding of us.
00:21:59.599 --> 00:22:02.559
But knowing that he would resurrect.
00:22:02.559 --> 00:22:05.759
And in that moment, I allowed myself to weep.
00:22:05.759 --> 00:22:08.799
And then I chose to respond in faith.
00:22:09.759 --> 00:22:10.079
So good.
00:22:10.640 --> 00:22:18.799
And I think that that's what I would want anyone to know is it's okay to have a moment to have a human response.
00:22:18.799 --> 00:22:19.440
Right?
00:22:19.440 --> 00:22:23.200
We are in this world, we're not amongget, but we're in this world.
00:22:23.200 --> 00:22:25.440
So we feel things, there's emotions.
00:22:25.440 --> 00:22:29.519
And then we have another second, and you get to choose what you'll do with that.
00:22:29.519 --> 00:22:30.799
And that's when I chose faith.
00:22:30.799 --> 00:22:32.960
And faith said, go to war.
00:22:32.960 --> 00:22:37.920
Faith said you call your sisters and you ask them to pray.
00:22:37.920 --> 00:22:40.240
Faith said, Isaiah 58, 6.
00:22:40.240 --> 00:22:42.559
Some things only come by prayer and fasting.
00:22:42.559 --> 00:22:45.839
And so we're going to pray and we're going to fast.
00:22:45.839 --> 00:22:55.279
And I have been blessed to have women of God like you, sisters in my life, that love Jesus and know the power of prayer.
00:22:55.279 --> 00:22:58.079
And know the power of prayer and fasting together.
00:22:58.079 --> 00:22:58.960
Yes.
00:22:58.960 --> 00:23:03.039
And they joined me and they went to war.
00:23:03.039 --> 00:23:09.119
And we didn't have to fight in the natural because it was a battle that we knew we would win on our knees.
00:23:09.119 --> 00:23:10.480
And that's what they did.
00:23:10.480 --> 00:23:11.759
They came alongside me.
00:23:11.759 --> 00:23:13.359
I would wake up to scripture.
00:23:13.359 --> 00:23:14.880
I would wake up to prayer.
00:23:14.880 --> 00:23:17.119
I would wake up to worship songs.
00:23:17.119 --> 00:23:23.519
Brooke, my gosh, sisters showing up, covering me, praying for me.
00:23:23.519 --> 00:23:28.640
It was an unrelenting prayer that never stopped.
00:23:28.640 --> 00:23:30.799
The Bible says, pray without ceasing.
00:23:30.799 --> 00:23:33.039
And that's exactly what we did.
00:23:33.039 --> 00:23:34.640
We prayed through.
00:23:34.640 --> 00:23:36.640
We did everything that you're supposed to do.
00:23:36.640 --> 00:23:43.680
I went to doctor appointments and I understood that there is a natural side to what I needed to do.
00:23:43.680 --> 00:23:47.039
And I had a choice to have the surgery or not have the surgery.
00:23:47.039 --> 00:23:48.319
But I prayed.
00:23:48.319 --> 00:23:50.640
I always ask God for a threefold confirmation.
00:23:50.640 --> 00:23:54.240
I want to hear from the Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit.
00:23:54.240 --> 00:23:56.880
Three scriptures every time.
00:23:56.880 --> 00:23:58.160
And then I'll move.
00:23:58.160 --> 00:24:01.599
And the Father said, Yes, I have healed you.
00:24:01.839 --> 00:24:02.799
I love that.
00:24:03.759 --> 00:24:07.200
It's so powerful being in a community.
00:24:07.200 --> 00:24:13.920
You know, that is why I created the Fast of Faith Sisterhood because you need women praying over you.
00:24:13.920 --> 00:24:26.160
You need women warring for you in the spiritual realm and lifting you up and cheerleading you and just reminding you that God hasn't forsaken you, right?
00:24:26.400 --> 00:24:26.720
Amen.
00:24:26.960 --> 00:24:33.119
Oh my gosh, we had one of our coaches got diagnosed with brain cancer right after she became a coach.
00:24:33.119 --> 00:24:40.000
And we did a 24-hour prayer chain and just got to work fighting for her.
00:24:40.000 --> 00:24:41.839
And it was so powerful.
00:24:41.839 --> 00:24:49.839
And I cannot express enough like how being in that kind of community changes your life.
00:24:49.839 --> 00:24:54.240
Like, I believe that's what saved you, right?
00:24:54.400 --> 00:24:54.640
Yes.
00:24:54.640 --> 00:24:55.279
Amen.
00:24:55.279 --> 00:24:55.839
Amen.
00:24:55.839 --> 00:24:59.599
Proverbs 27, 17, iron sharpens iron.
00:24:59.599 --> 00:25:06.240
And so even sitting here right now in the spirit, I would just know like there's just iron back and forth.
00:25:06.240 --> 00:25:10.559
And so there are women right now that we're sharpening because we're all one body.
00:25:10.559 --> 00:25:12.559
We eat of one loaf, we drink of one cup.
00:25:12.559 --> 00:25:18.400
So when we join together in prayer and fast together, the gates of hell cannot prevail.
00:25:18.400 --> 00:25:25.279
And that's how I felt in the spirit, even on the nights that were hard, because there were nights I was in a lot of pain.
00:25:25.279 --> 00:25:31.839
There were nights I absolutely had the spirit of death try to come and speak to me and lie to me.
00:25:31.839 --> 00:25:36.640
But there were warriors that were interceding and were rebuking that spirit.
00:25:36.640 --> 00:25:38.720
And I never felt alone.
00:25:38.720 --> 00:25:40.720
I never felt forsaken.
00:25:40.720 --> 00:25:46.640
Before I knew what that was, then I would have responded that way 15 years prior.
00:25:46.799 --> 00:25:47.440
Right, right.
00:25:47.680 --> 00:25:51.680
I would not have been prepared for this for such a time as this.
00:25:51.680 --> 00:25:56.960
I would not have been prepared to speak to that thing and tell it, no, you do not get to determine my life.
00:25:56.960 --> 00:25:59.200
God is the author and finisher of my life.
00:25:59.200 --> 00:26:02.000
And that's why you need sisters and community.
00:26:02.000 --> 00:26:05.200
It is impossible to do this thing alone.
00:26:05.359 --> 00:26:05.599
Yeah.
00:26:05.839 --> 00:26:07.759
We were never created to do that.
00:26:07.759 --> 00:26:10.400
It was always supposed to be what we're doing right now.
00:26:10.640 --> 00:26:11.920
Yeah, absolutely.
00:26:11.920 --> 00:26:16.079
Okay, so back to our divine friendship.
00:26:16.079 --> 00:26:17.759
I get on this bus.
00:26:17.759 --> 00:26:20.079
I'm back in California last year.
00:26:20.079 --> 00:26:25.200
I get on the bus and I sit next to you and I'm like, oh my gosh, it's a mice.
00:26:25.200 --> 00:26:26.079
I love you.
00:26:26.079 --> 00:26:27.279
I have missed you.
00:26:27.279 --> 00:26:29.680
You you did so much for me.
00:26:29.680 --> 00:26:33.119
And you needed me in that moment, right?
00:26:33.119 --> 00:26:34.000
Like, yes.
00:26:34.000 --> 00:26:41.200
God is so good the way like you give, you receive, you don't know, but God knows the plan.
00:26:41.200 --> 00:26:45.920
And so I just feel like everything was a setup from the beginning, wasn't it?
00:26:46.079 --> 00:26:46.559
Yes.
00:26:46.559 --> 00:26:51.839
And that I love the father because everything makes sense.
00:26:51.839 --> 00:26:54.240
We don't understand it in the right.
00:26:54.960 --> 00:26:55.200
Right.
00:26:55.200 --> 00:26:57.599
But looking back, it all makes so much sense.
00:26:57.920 --> 00:26:58.559
All does.
00:26:58.559 --> 00:27:00.960
I could not, I had just had my surgery.
00:27:00.960 --> 00:27:01.759
I wasn't even screwing.
00:27:01.759 --> 00:27:02.160
I know.
00:27:02.240 --> 00:27:04.160
I was like, girl, what are you doing on the bus?
00:27:04.160 --> 00:27:06.319
You're supposed to be home recovering.
00:27:06.319 --> 00:27:06.960
Hello?
00:27:06.960 --> 00:27:08.720
You just had huge surgery.
00:27:09.039 --> 00:27:09.759
Huge surgery.
00:27:09.759 --> 00:27:11.839
I was you know, my family was a little upset.
00:27:11.839 --> 00:27:13.839
They were like, what in the world?
00:27:13.839 --> 00:27:16.559
But I knew I was supposed to be there.
00:27:16.559 --> 00:27:17.039
Yeah.
00:27:17.039 --> 00:27:20.559
And sometimes doesn't have to make sense in the natural.
00:27:20.559 --> 00:27:23.519
Sometimes you just have to obey God.
00:27:23.519 --> 00:27:25.920
And I knew the father said go.
00:27:25.920 --> 00:27:30.880
And I was supposed to go because I was now going to receive from you.
00:27:30.880 --> 00:27:34.240
And you were now going to speak life over me.
00:27:34.240 --> 00:27:37.759
And that's exactly what you did.
00:27:37.759 --> 00:27:54.319
Because at that moment, while I'm still waiting for results, because they were still testing to see if it had spread and all the things, I sat next to you and you spoke life over me, and you encouraged me, and you healed me and loved me.
00:27:54.319 --> 00:27:58.880
And a moment where I was still feeling weak physically.
00:27:58.880 --> 00:28:03.839
And so spiritually, physically, I was exactly where I was supposed to be.
00:28:03.839 --> 00:28:05.759
So I'm so thankful.
00:28:05.759 --> 00:28:07.599
I'm so thankful for you.
00:28:07.599 --> 00:28:11.200
And that moment, because I was still trying to figure things out.
00:28:11.200 --> 00:28:13.200
I had been sitting to menopause.
00:28:13.200 --> 00:28:14.000
Yes.
00:28:14.000 --> 00:28:18.559
They said it would happen within a week, and it felt like it was just days.
00:28:18.880 --> 00:28:19.039
Yeah.
00:28:19.039 --> 00:28:21.039
And it hits you like a bus, right?
00:28:21.440 --> 00:28:22.720
It's like boom.
00:28:22.720 --> 00:28:26.960
It was nothing could have prepared me, and they didn't prepare me.
00:28:26.960 --> 00:28:27.359
Yeah.
00:28:27.359 --> 00:28:28.640
It was very light.
00:28:28.640 --> 00:28:32.240
It was like, okay, you're going to go into menopause, you're going to have an estrogen patch.
00:28:32.240 --> 00:28:34.559
And so I'm like, oh, okay.
00:28:34.559 --> 00:28:38.880
Didn't understand that that meant now I'm going to feel like I'm going crazy.
00:28:38.880 --> 00:28:39.359
Yeah.
00:28:39.359 --> 00:28:43.359
Now I'm going to lose my I felt like I was losing my mind.
00:28:43.359 --> 00:28:45.519
I would go from one room to the next room.
00:28:45.519 --> 00:28:48.000
Couldn't remember why I was in the next room.
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:54.960
Physical pain, joint pain, bone pain, exhausted, not sleeping.
00:28:54.960 --> 00:29:01.519
And so I had all these questions for you that I had been confused, nobody else was answering.
00:29:01.519 --> 00:29:09.680
And I felt like you, the entire ride, spoken to, were giving me the revelation, what to do.
00:29:09.680 --> 00:29:14.000
And and even bless me, I hadn't slept and I had not been able to sleep.
00:29:14.000 --> 00:29:16.799
And then you gave me progesterone.
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:20.319
I was like, girl, I have progesterone in my hotel room.
00:29:20.400 --> 00:29:21.920
I'm going to bring it to you.
00:29:21.920 --> 00:29:22.799
Yes.
00:29:22.799 --> 00:29:23.759
Yes.
00:29:23.759 --> 00:29:24.960
Just that.
00:29:24.960 --> 00:29:29.839
I was like, I was able to sleep to the point that I could not wake up for the reason.
00:29:29.839 --> 00:29:32.880
I just slept.
00:29:32.880 --> 00:29:42.000
And my body just rested in the Lord, rested in your love, rested in your prayers, rested in what God had done on that ride.
00:29:42.000 --> 00:29:49.519
And what he had already established was we were supposed to be together in this life and into eternity, you would be my sister.
00:29:49.839 --> 00:29:50.480
Wow.
00:29:50.480 --> 00:29:54.079
I love those full circle moments.
00:29:54.079 --> 00:29:55.440
Like it's so good.
00:29:55.440 --> 00:30:06.000
And the fact that it was in such a short time period, because a lot of times the work that God does, at least in my life, has been like the decade to connect those dots.
00:30:06.000 --> 00:30:09.200
Like, oh, now I see why I went through that forever ago.
00:30:09.200 --> 00:30:14.559
But it was just such a beautiful exchange of friendship for us, I feel like.
00:30:14.559 --> 00:30:15.279
Amen.
00:30:15.279 --> 00:30:15.839
Amen.
00:30:15.839 --> 00:30:16.480
Yes.
00:30:17.279 --> 00:30:17.599
Yes.
00:30:17.839 --> 00:30:25.839
And I know that someone is getting blessed right now listening to this because your perspective is everything.
00:30:25.839 --> 00:30:43.200
You know, you could have been frustrated with your OBGYN that they didn't have that conversation with you and gone into self-pity and like been just in complaining mode and resentment mode, and like, why God did this have to happen to me?
00:30:43.200 --> 00:30:50.480
But you chose to think, okay, I'm here on this bus with Tabitha for a reason.
00:30:50.480 --> 00:30:51.920
It's all gonna be okay.
00:30:51.920 --> 00:30:55.279
God knows what I need, He's working it out for my good.
00:30:55.279 --> 00:30:58.960
And you just chose to see it that way, right?
00:30:59.119 --> 00:31:00.240
Yes, amen.
00:31:00.240 --> 00:31:04.960
But not just to see it that way, but to receive.
00:31:04.960 --> 00:31:06.319
It's one thing, right?
00:31:06.319 --> 00:31:17.279
You can have a sister in the Lord, you can have a friend in the Lord, and she can speak life, encourage you, give you, you know, progesterone, and you can take it.
00:31:17.279 --> 00:31:17.599
Yeah.
00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:21.359
Or you can say, I don't know if I I want to try that.
00:31:21.359 --> 00:31:24.960
Faith is, God, I believe this is a divine appointment.
00:31:24.960 --> 00:31:37.599
I believe that I got on this plane after surgery and I'm here with my sister because before the foundation of the world, you brought us together because you knew that I was going to need her in this moment.
00:31:37.599 --> 00:31:43.759
And so I'm not going to reject or operate in fear because fear would say, I don't know if that's gonna work.
00:31:43.759 --> 00:31:45.759
Fear would say, Don't get on the flight.
00:31:45.759 --> 00:31:46.240
Yes.
00:31:46.240 --> 00:31:46.720
Right?
00:31:46.720 --> 00:31:55.519
And if I there was a medical thing that clearly, I'm not saying get on a plane if you're like in physical pain, but I was strong enough in the Lord.
00:31:55.920 --> 00:31:57.279
I knew you were supposed to go.
00:31:57.440 --> 00:32:01.200
Yes, I knew I was supposed to go, and it was confirmed on that bus.
00:32:01.200 --> 00:32:02.480
Wow.
00:32:02.720 --> 00:32:04.640
I just love this story.
00:32:04.640 --> 00:32:14.880
Oh my gosh, you're your your life is incredible, and I'm so excited because you put it in a book and you're actually gonna share it.
00:32:14.880 --> 00:32:25.519
And I just I I am so excited for that because it's one thing for us to live our stories, but then it becomes a point where it's not our story anymore.
00:32:25.519 --> 00:32:31.440
It's for another woman, it's for another person, and they are going to be blessed from your story.
00:32:31.440 --> 00:32:33.599
So you have to share it, right?
00:32:33.599 --> 00:32:39.200
Yes, and I love that you're not even there's no shame, there's no condemnation.
00:32:39.200 --> 00:32:47.920
You're like, this is what I did, and I'm a broken sinner, and I need Jesus to be the incredible woman that I am now.
00:32:47.920 --> 00:32:48.880
So amen.
00:32:48.880 --> 00:32:51.039
Tell us about your book.
00:32:51.359 --> 00:32:52.480
I'm so excited.
00:32:52.480 --> 00:32:59.839
So shaken to surrender is everything that could have been shaken in my life that needed to be shaken.
00:32:59.839 --> 00:33:10.079
It's the things that shake you that normally would break you, the things that the enemy means to rob, steal, kill, and destroy you, which in every area he attempted to do.
00:33:10.079 --> 00:33:22.880
But there was this amazing, faithful Father, our loving Jesus, our God, that oversaw all of it and was in it and is interwoven even in the darkest of places.
00:33:22.880 --> 00:33:42.400
And so I walk with you and our sisters and brothers in the Lord through this journey of what it means to be shaken to the point of falling down on my knees, literally and spiritually, coming to repentance and asking him to forgive me, which he already had.
00:33:42.640 --> 00:33:43.039
Yes.
00:33:43.440 --> 00:33:43.759
Right.
00:33:43.759 --> 00:33:53.440
And so that no longer living in shame, condemnation, that's why people ask me all the time, Amies, how are you able to just talk about that and say that out loud without shame?
00:33:53.440 --> 00:33:56.319
And I'm it's not that I didn't go through a season of that.
00:33:56.559 --> 00:33:56.720
Right.
00:33:56.960 --> 00:34:06.960
So for anybody that is feeling that way, for any any anyone that feels left or forsaken or ashamed of their choices, I know what that is.
00:34:06.960 --> 00:34:10.079
But you choose to believe God.
00:34:10.079 --> 00:34:12.800
And by faith, I am forgiven.
00:34:12.800 --> 00:34:14.639
By faith, you are forgiven.
00:34:14.639 --> 00:34:20.480
And by faith, you and I were brought together with our testimonies, with our stories, with our brokenness.
00:34:20.480 --> 00:34:24.559
God shook what needed to be shaken to bring us to a place of surrender.
00:34:24.559 --> 00:34:31.280
So that those that are being shaken now, I just want you to know that we were shaken first and will testify to it.
00:34:31.280 --> 00:34:33.280
And surrender is a beautiful place.
00:34:33.280 --> 00:34:41.360
It's not a bondage, it's a surrender to know that you can fall on your face before him and nothing will keep his love from you.
00:34:41.360 --> 00:35:01.679
And that's the journey of shaken to surrender is his love is there through cancer, his love is there through your addictions, your strongholds, your choices, disease, all of the different areas, because there's lots of things I walk through in this book, but every part of it is he didn't shake me, he allowed me to be shaken.
00:35:01.679 --> 00:35:03.599
Surrender is where he met me.
00:35:04.239 --> 00:35:07.360
Oh my gosh, I cannot wait to read this book.
00:35:07.360 --> 00:35:08.480
It's so good.
00:35:08.480 --> 00:35:12.800
I am having this visualization of panning for gold.
00:35:12.800 --> 00:35:16.239
Have you ever seen someone with their little shaker pan?
00:35:16.239 --> 00:35:26.079
Like you pull it out of the water and you sift in all of the sediment, and the bad stuff is removed, and all that's left in the pan is gold.
00:35:26.079 --> 00:35:29.199
Like that is literally what happened to you.
00:35:29.199 --> 00:35:30.239
Yes, amen.
00:35:30.239 --> 00:35:31.119
Oh my goodness.
00:35:32.079 --> 00:35:32.239
Wow.
00:35:32.239 --> 00:35:33.119
I love that so much.
00:35:33.119 --> 00:35:34.800
That was a beautiful picture.
00:35:34.800 --> 00:35:36.239
I received that.
00:35:36.239 --> 00:35:37.039
Amen.
00:35:37.039 --> 00:35:39.679
And that's all of any of your listeners.
00:35:39.679 --> 00:35:45.199
If there's any shaking happening, gold is all that is going to be left in their life.
00:35:45.199 --> 00:35:59.599
And it doesn't mean that every piece is perfect, but it does mean that they will be shaken to a place that surrender will be their victory, it will be their crown, it will be their peace, it will be their healing, it will be their lifting.
00:35:59.599 --> 00:36:05.679
And so whatever caused them to fall, they will stand up and they will stand up knowing that he's the one picking them up.
00:36:05.920 --> 00:36:06.719
Exactly.
00:36:06.719 --> 00:36:13.119
Okay, I already know the answer, but I'm gonna ask you are you grateful that you got cancer and went through that?
00:36:13.119 --> 00:36:15.039
What's wild is yes.
00:36:15.039 --> 00:36:15.679
I know.
00:36:15.679 --> 00:36:23.920
That is that is the true peace of the Lord, is you really can have peace through your trials and tribulations.
00:36:23.920 --> 00:36:40.239
And I'm I'm I know that women listening right now are being blessed because they've just been given some diagnosis and spoken death over them by their doctors or their family or whoever else is freaking out around them.
00:36:40.239 --> 00:36:47.599
And I want you to know that there is a better ending to this story if you choose faith over fear.
00:36:47.599 --> 00:36:48.400
Amen.
00:36:48.400 --> 00:36:49.119
Yes.
00:36:49.119 --> 00:36:50.880
Oh, so good.
00:36:50.880 --> 00:36:52.000
Okay, ladies.
00:36:52.000 --> 00:36:53.119
I want to end.
00:36:53.119 --> 00:37:10.079
I love that you did the Proverbs, iron sharpens iron, because I'm gonna have the ladies end with Proverbs 1717 that says, a friend loves at all times, but a good, a new brother or sister will show up in times of adversity.
00:37:10.079 --> 00:37:11.360
So Amen.
00:37:11.360 --> 00:37:12.400
Yeah, amen.
00:37:12.400 --> 00:37:17.440
You were God appointed, and I'm so grateful for our friendship with Misa.
00:37:17.440 --> 00:37:21.360
Is there anything else you want to say to my listeners before we close?
00:37:21.840 --> 00:37:22.800
Thank you.
00:37:22.800 --> 00:37:26.239
This woman of God right here is gold.
00:37:26.239 --> 00:37:34.960
And so for every listener, you keep following, listening, because everything that God pours out through you is gold.
00:37:34.960 --> 00:37:44.159
So that's what I would tell them is this is where they're going to get their healing physically, spiritually, emotionally, mentally.
00:37:44.159 --> 00:37:47.840
God is using you to meet them right where they are.
00:37:48.639 --> 00:37:53.760
Yeah, and I feel so humbled and honored to be that guide for them.
00:37:53.760 --> 00:38:02.320
You know, I used to think I was the healer, I am not the healer, you know, and that is a big issue in the medical system.
00:38:02.320 --> 00:38:04.320
Doctors think they're the healers.
00:38:04.320 --> 00:38:15.840
So I am your guide, I am here for you, I will pray over you, and I will remind you that you are more than your diagnosis or your current issue that you're struggling from.
00:38:15.840 --> 00:38:18.480
And there is a better future ahead.
00:38:18.480 --> 00:38:21.119
God already promised that.
00:38:21.119 --> 00:38:24.239
So live into his promises this week.
00:38:24.239 --> 00:38:27.440
Meditate on Proverbs 17:17.
00:38:27.440 --> 00:38:31.760
Go be Christ's hands to serve, and I will see you next week.
00:38:31.760 --> 00:38:41.360
If you like that episode, I have one favor to ask, maybe two.
00:38:41.360 --> 00:38:45.519
Can you hit subscribe and give me a heart?
00:38:45.519 --> 00:38:53.280
I want Apple to know that this is important information to you because when we tell them that, you will get more of it.
00:38:53.280 --> 00:38:55.119
So use your voice.
00:38:55.119 --> 00:39:00.159
Hit subscribe, hit the like button, share with a friend.
00:39:00.159 --> 00:39:05.760
And the other thing, I want you to download the five day challenge and get started on it.
00:39:05.760 --> 00:39:07.440
Take imperfect action.
00:39:07.440 --> 00:39:09.840
I will see you in the Fast of Faith Sisterhood.
00:39:09.840 --> 00:39:10.960
Till next time.