ABOUT THIS EPISODE
Supplemental Study Guide: https://www.recoveryalchemy.org/newsletters/blog/posts/sobers**x
In this solo episode of The AfterMeth Podcast, Dallas Bragg confronts one of the most common struggles men face in chemsex recovery: the belief that sober sex is somehow broken, vanilla, or impossible to enjoy. Rather than validating that fear, Dallas reframes it entirely — the issue isn't that sobriety took something away, it's that the ruler being used to measure sex was rigged from the start. He traces how pornography carved neural pathways oriented toward performance, how hookup apps turned intimacy into a transactional marketplace, and how the queer community's hard-won fight for sexual freedom has, over time, calcified into a new kind of obligation. What gets called liberation, he argues, often functions as conformity to a script written by industries that profit from disconnection.
From there, Dallas invites listeners into a different question altogether: what if good sex has nothing to do with duration, positions, or intensity, and everything to do with presence, safety, vulnerability, and being fully oneself? He names the uncomfortable truth that much of the sex people mourn losing in recovery wasn't intimacy at all — it was dissociation wrapped in intensity, ego wrapped in orgasm, conquest masquerading as connection. The episode closes with a reflective prompt for the week: what would sex and intimacy look like if you stopped trying to meet anyone's expectations, including your own? It's a grounded, shame-free challenge to stop following someone else's map and begin drawing one's own — where real desire, real presence, and real connection actually live.
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