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When the countdown begins for a new year,
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we need to look at what to release.
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And that's why
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we're going to talk about why you need to
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stop abandoning yourself in 2006 and how.
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Let's begin.
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Are you ready to shine?
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Come
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on.
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It's the shiny one.
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You got this.
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Welcome to the Shiny Minds Show.
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Hello everyone.
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I am Dr. Shiny. I am
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super excited that we are literally in the
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official countdown
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to wrap up the year of 2025 behind to
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welcome the new year with love and
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acceptance and abundance and gratitude.
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I always take the time at the end of the
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year to look at what I have accomplished,
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what I have achieved, how I have lived, how I have
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showed up,
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and
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what can I do even better next year?
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And
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I wanted to take this time to talk about
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our patterns,
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because
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here's the thing.
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When we are entering a new year, it is
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really not what we are bringing
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to add on.
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It is more so about what we are not
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bringing and what we are releasing.
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So think about it.
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If you have
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a beautiful bottle of oil that you love so much,
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And still,
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if this oil carries a drop of
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poison in it,
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is it still the oil that you love?
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Not really,
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because it has poison in it, right?
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So the most important
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part
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that becomes in our everyday life is how
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can we remove the poison? How can we remove
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the patterns that are stopping us, that are
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making us feel stuck?
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not able to move
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forward, stagnant.
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That's why
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I would love to talk about what
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the patterns are that I see a lot
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in my coaching education
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programs so that I can give you a
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map.
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So perhaps you also need that kind of a
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map, that kind of a mirror
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to look at your own life, to look at your
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own patterns, and then to say, okay, am I
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willing to
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release them
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and not take them with me? to the new year
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because it's super important to become
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aware of our patterns
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and then to have a conversation with them
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and to literally say,
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listen,
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I
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know you're trying to protect me. I know
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you
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are here for a reason.
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Dear pattern, I appreciate that.
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I know you are doing the best
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and
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I have survived video up until now.
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And yet for the next year and moving
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forward,
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I actually
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would love to do something different video.
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I would love to sit down with you
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and to understand what was the intention
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behind
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all these automatic habits and patterns
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that you,
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you did for me so that I can just let go of you.
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I believe I can have a different
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relationship with you
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outside of
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my own mental patterns, your pattern.
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So can I take you outside of
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my being, my nervous system, and can I put
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you outside?
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If we don't have this conversation,
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we will never be able to outgrow them. So
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I have three patterns that I picked that I
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see a lot
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in human behaviors in all of us in
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human psychology.
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Number one is people pleasing.
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I am a recovering people pleaser myself,
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and I have been recovering for a while now.
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And then I know it's an ongoing process.
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It's a lifetime process, maybe,
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because
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I learned it at a very young age in my
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childhood.
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So it became my conditioning
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and I have all the tools with my own
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Neuro-Shine Technology™ with neurolinguistic
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programming, positive psychology, quantum
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physics,
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metaphysics,
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leadership communication strategies, even
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like cosmology.
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I look at the stars and then I look at the
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sky mechanics and then I apply that to
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myself and
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then I realize it still is there
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because there is a part of me
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that I like being
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this person who pleases others.
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Are you feeling the same?
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If you have that, I understand.
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If we are trying trying to please others at
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the cost
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of our own self-love, our own self-worth,
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then we are damaging ourselves, then it's
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not helping, then it is actually
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doing the opposite effect. We are
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selling our souls, selling our sovereignty
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in the expectation of approval, in the
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expectation of
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doing something for something else.
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And then at the end of the day, we are
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abandoning us.
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That is not
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what life is about.
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Life is about
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becoming one within ourselves, becoming
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sovereign beings, co-creators of our life.
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And I am coming to you.
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with
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full vulnerability.
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Obviously, I have been teaching
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my Neuro-Shine Technology™ for so many years.
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I started my company Academy of Neuro-Shine
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Technology™ in 2011.
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It's going to be 15 years in January, in a month.
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So I started teaching NLP.
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I started teaching different
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disciplines because I always wanted to
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apply those teachings to myself.
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I needed it. I
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come from
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this
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wound of of not being
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good enough.
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And it comes from my relationship with my
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father in my childhood.
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I just learned that as a behavior
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and I thought
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I needed to do extra, extra
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to get love from
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others.
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That's a learned behavior.
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That was something
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my child's brain
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thought it was the truth
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because I didn't have
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the conscious critical thinking around it yet.
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But back then,
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all I wanted was love.
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And
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love
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was sort of conditional.
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I needed to do
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things that I didn't want to.
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I needed to say the things that I knew I
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didn't mean to.
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Otherwise, my father would resent me and
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then he wouldn't talk to me for days and
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months.
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And so
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my
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my little
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child self learned that behavior.
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In order to get love, you need to please
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the person.
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You don't have to say what you think.
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You don't
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you don't actually put your truth out there
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because it hurts them
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and they are not happy.
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So if they are not happy,
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therefore you don't deserve to be happy.
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Do you see the mechanics, how it works.
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So if you are someone like that,
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I get you.
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I hear you.
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We are all on this boats together.
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We are all in this game together.
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And that's why I'm telling you
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there is a way out.
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There is a way out.
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Once you understand your pattern, once you
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become friends with it, once you understand
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it, once you just ask the intention behind it,
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once you realize,
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oh,
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It was trying to give me love.
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It was trying to prove me
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my own self worth, but
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it is so old.
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It is just 40 years ago.
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So
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it was 40 years ago when we learned this,
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it was a total different game.
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It was a total reality.
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Like that
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timeline has shifted already.
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I don't have to accept it as my truth
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anymore,
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so I can just let it go.
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I can release it.
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And so can you,
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so all the people pleasers in the house,
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I know I am not the only one. I know
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you are listening and you are feeling it
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and you are asking if that's the case for you.
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If there is any part of you
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that is doing too much for other people's
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opinions, for other people's approval, for
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other people's emotions.
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If you find yourself trying to manage
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others' emotions, if you are
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too sensitive to what is going on around you
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because you have this type of a symptom
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and it's It's totally okay.
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It's a learned behavior.
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Once you understand it, once you apply
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my
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formula for change, which is change equals
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awareness multiplied by willingness,
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you become aware of it.
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Okay, this was all so that I could be
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happy and then I could feel loved,
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but it was all for a reason.
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I didn't know any better.
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It was looking for
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external approval.
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So now I am choosing my internal approval.
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Now I am not abandoning myself.
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Now I am not betraying myself. Now
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I am choosing myself.
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I'm going to be true to myself.
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I can understand that they may not like
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what I say.
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They may not approve what I say,
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but my job is not to make them like me.
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My job is to make me like me.
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Therefore, I am
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shifting
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the things and I am shape shifting.
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I am turning things around and I'm choosing me.
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Okay,
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this is how we can release
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this pattern and then we can let it go and
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then we can stay in 2025.
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We can say
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kiss goodbye
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to it and then we can say thank you
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for all these years, for all the things
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that you have done.
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to make me feel loved,
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to make me feel worthy.
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I really appreciate it.
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I know better now.
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I learned now.
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I am aware and I'm willing.
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I'm aware that it's an external approval
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mechanics that I am not choosing anymore.
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So
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I'm also willing
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to be disliked.
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I'm also willing
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to choose my internal
290
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:05,760
self-word,
291
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,880
my internal love, my self-love over
292
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,760
external.
293
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:10,560
like
294
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,160
an approval. Yes?
295
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,200
Can we say that?
296
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,080
We got this.
297
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,000
The second pattern that I
298
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,440
want to talk to you about that I see so much
299
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,160
in
300
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,120
all of us
301
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,040
as humanity is
302
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,800
not able to say no.
303
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,120
when your whole body is screaming, no,
304
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,800
but you find yourself saying, yes, sure.
305
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,560
Ever had one of those moments?
306
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,760
You are definitely a no, no, no.
307
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,200
Like, please leave me alone.
308
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,560
And still
309
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,600
you just
310
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,080
don't even realize how that automatically
311
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,160
left your mouth
312
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,800
because you just said yes.
313
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:46,920
Does that ever happen? I
314
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:47,480
know.
315
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,800
So this one I'm better at.
316
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,120
I am absolutely good at saying no.
317
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,240
I learned it.
318
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,120
This was
319
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,160
a very hard process for me, especially if
320
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,240
you are working with others that
321
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,560
require your input, that wants your
322
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,800
attention, that wants your help,
323
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,000
those people,
324
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,920
they're going to want all of these things
325
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:09,720
from you, right?
326
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,480
You're needed and you're wanted.
327
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,840
So the intention behind this pattern, if
328
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,440
you sit with it and if you ask, you like
329
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,320
being wanted, you like being needed,
330
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,400
you like the attention.
331
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,400
That's kind of like the addiction.
332
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,480
It's still the external approval.
333
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,080
It's still something external.
334
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:27,800
Do you see?
335
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,160
It's a common pattern.
336
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,440
It's a common theme
337
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,040
of external
338
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,240
approvals.
339
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:34,120
And so
340
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,640
what you can do
341
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,280
to apply my formula for change,
342
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,320
awareness multiply by willingness, you can
343
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,240
become aware of it.
344
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,200
Am I physically feeling
345
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,080
this?
346
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,600
Yes, in my body.
347
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,280
Is this a full body? Yes.
348
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,480
Am I owning it?
349
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:50,920
Do I feel
350
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,000
expansion in my heart?
351
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,200
Do I feel expansion in my being when
352
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,080
this question comes to me, when this
353
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,320
request comes to me, do I feel
354
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:02,440
yes,
355
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,840
a full body yes, or
356
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:05,720
do I feel
357
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:07,480
Not really.
358
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,360
Please leave me alone.
359
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,240
Please leave me alone.
360
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,760
But and then you still say,
361
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,680
sure, I'll do it because you feel like you
362
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,960
are supposed to.
363
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,880
It's so not easy.
364
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:18,920
I got to tell you,
365
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,040
we are surrounded by people and if we live
366
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:22,760
in
367
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:23,720
people,
368
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:24,520
okay,
369
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,680
we are people.
370
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:27,560
And so
371
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,480
it is an addiction that we are
372
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:32,760
surrounded by.
373
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,080
We are programmed by conditioned by
374
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,040
people
375
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,720
are going need other people.
376
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,920
And yet what we are going to
377
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,480
need to become aware of is the context
378
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,000
around it.
379
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,920
The first thing you need to become aware of
380
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,560
is your body language.
381
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,040
What is your body saying, right? That is
382
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,000
your nervous system speaking to you.
383
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,280
If you are
384
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:55,840
not feeling a
385
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,640
yes from your body,
386
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,520
then look at the conditions around that.
387
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,880
Look at the context around that.
388
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,280
Why would you not want to say yes to this
389
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,360
one? Oh, because it is going to require
390
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,760
a lot of time from you and then you're not
391
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,000
willing to spend your time on this thing.
392
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,120
Valid enough.
393
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,200
That is exactly the case and that's exactly
394
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,200
the reason why
395
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,040
you are going to say no.
396
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,160
And you're going to say,
397
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,320
you know what? I have my other priorities.
398
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,520
I would have really loved to do it, yet I
399
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,960
have my other priorities.
400
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,560
So perhaps next time.
401
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,720
Or you're going to say something like,
402
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,400
you know, I am working on saying no
403
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,200
when I don't feel like a full body yes
404
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,160
within myself.
405
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,720
Although it is very uncomfortable,
406
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,680
I would really appreciate your
407
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,680
understanding
408
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,720
in this work that I am doing for my
409
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:46,840
personal development.
410
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:47,320
There
411
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:48,200
you go.
412
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,240
not only
413
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,240
spoke your truths, but you also included
414
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,920
them and you invited them.
415
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,000
And then by being in this way, you're also
416
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,600
inviting them to do the same.
417
00:13:58,760 --> 00:13:59,720
One person
418
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:00,760
doing it,
419
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,560
inviting the other one, and the other one
420
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:04,240
is doing the
421
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,840
same thing for the other person.
422
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,040
And then that's how we can start a ripple effect
423
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,520
of owning our truth.
424
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,880
Saying no is okay.
425
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,600
Saying no to yourself is not,
426
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,200
and we can totally do it.
427
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,000
Yes.
428
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,080
Choose yourself and
429
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,800
invite others to join your process.
430
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:24,520
Look at this.
431
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,080
Zoom agrees. Yes.
432
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:26,680
I love it.
433
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:27,640
Wonderful.
434
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:28,280
So the
435
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:33,320
third pattern that I see a lot in humanity
436
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,280
as a psychological pattern is
437
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,320
avoidance.
438
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,120
You know how
439
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,320
you have some very difficult conversation
440
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,520
that you need to have, and then you
441
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,480
successfully put it under the carpet,
442
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,880
you are totally fine not
443
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,760
doing it because it is uncomfortable.
444
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,360
That's what I'm talking about.
445
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,960
In these moments,
446
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,080
we are
447
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,320
less of a
448
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,760
dignified human because
449
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,680
look at the mechanics behind it.
450
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:01,400
I
451
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:07,160
let this discomfort become bigger than my truth.
452
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,600
Discomfort
453
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:09,720
owns me
454
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,000
because it shapes how I behave in this
455
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:13,720
moment.
456
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,560
So discomfort
457
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,120
overpowers my throat.
458
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,120
Therefore, discomfort
459
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,080
wins the game.
460
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:21,720
You see,
461
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:22,440
that's it.
462
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,200
That's the mechanics behind it.
463
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,840
And that's exactly why we need to stop it.
464
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,920
And then we need to also put it behind.
465
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,600
We need to release it and we need to let it go and
466
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:33,240
not
467
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,280
carry it.
468
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,880
to the upcoming year of 2026. So
469
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,400
the pattern of avoidance is obviously
470
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,000
another pattern that we learn
471
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,120
in our
472
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,240
upbringing.
473
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,280
And it
474
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,640
is also a very deeply rooted pattern.
475
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,760
So I understand if you are unconsciously
476
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:53,480
doing that,
477
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,040
I mean, inviting you to become aware of it.
478
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,560
If there is no awareness, you cannot change it.
479
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,080
Let go of
480
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,000
all the things that you do,
481
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:03,560
which
482
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:04,560
might fall under
483
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,240
Oh, I'm doing a lot of things, but you're
484
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,160
not doing the thing that needs to
485
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,240
release the pattern, break the pattern.
486
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,320
So if you're doing a lot of the things, but
487
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,240
you are not facing your avoidance,
488
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:16,840
then you're not being aware.
489
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,760
So awareness becomes zero.
490
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,120
Whatever you multiply
491
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,480
by zero is zero.
492
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:22,680
still going to be zero.
493
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,440
So that's why you're not going to change
494
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,000
your pattern.
495
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,320
Understand? When you become aware of it,
496
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,120
when you face your avoidance and when you say,
497
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:31,320
dear avoidance,
498
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,480
you're not bigger than me.
499
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,720
You're not going to overpower me.
500
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:36,880
I am just going
501
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:37,240
to
502
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,240
turn it into a conversation,
503
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,840
which is all that is.
504
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,200
I'm just going to own it.
505
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,720
I'm just going to show up to it.
506
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,720
I'm not going to let it bother me because
507
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:46,680
I'm bigger than that.
508
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,440
I am more powerful than that.
509
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,560
You know, these conflicts, these difficult
510
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,680
conversations as part of
511
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:52,840
So
512
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,040
thank you for protecting me all this time
513
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:56,920
and
514
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,720
pretending and then assuming that it would
515
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,520
not be okay for me, but it is totally okay for me.
516
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:03,960
I'm accepting
517
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:04,280
the
518
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:05,800
difficulty
519
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,720
of this conversation
520
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,320
and I'm totally fine with it.
521
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,560
In these difficult conversations,
522
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,240
as I do more of them,
523
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,800
I actually build my muscle around it
524
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,000
and then I
525
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,560
become tough and so difficult
526
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,400
is not difficult anymore.
527
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,640
I actually raise my
528
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,080
level, my standard high above that,
529
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:27,800
and
530
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,360
they become no longer difficult for me.
531
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,120
They become easy for me in time.
532
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,320
So that's it.
533
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,000
That's the willingness part.
534
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,960
You literally owning it, saying it,
535
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,560
reframing how
536
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,160
it can change
537
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,360
its form
538
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,480
in your
539
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,280
mental, emotional, and
540
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,680
psychological and spiritual
541
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:49,480
being.
542
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,680
Okay? So
543
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:51,480
again, to
544
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,160
wrap up, we talked about three patterns that
545
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,760
we can all let go
546
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,120
and release to
547
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:58,800
the
548
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,920
air, to the field in 2025, and we are not
549
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,080
going to carry them with us to
550
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,160
2026.
551
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,760
Number one, people pleasing.
552
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:09,960
Number two,
553
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,040
saying yes when we know we want to say no.
554
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:13,280
And then
555
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,840
number three,
556
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,160
avoiding and putting things under the
557
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,120
carpet when
558
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,160
it feels difficult because we know we can
559
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:21,680
do better.
560
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:22,600
and
561
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,480
the old difficult becomes the new easy.
562
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,000
We all have that.
563
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,120
We just need to
564
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,960
become bigger than them.
565
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:30,760
That's it.
566
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:31,720
And that's
567
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:32,760
why
568
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,160
I am inviting all of us
569
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,280
to sit
570
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,080
with our decisions, with our behaviors,
571
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,880
with our language patterns, with our
572
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,880
relationships.
573
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:42,520
How
574
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,840
do we show up? How did you show up in 2025?
575
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:47,640
How
576
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,200
did you talk to yourself? Did you abandon
577
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:50,760
yourself?
578
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,720
Did you betray Did you try to please
579
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,920
others? Say yes when you wanted to say no.
580
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:57,480
Did you
581
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,760
put things under the carpet when it was
582
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,800
difficult? Let's face it.
583
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,080
Let's take the time.
584
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,200
I'm getting goosebumps.
585
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,720
Let's take the time
586
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,440
to really have this deep conversation
587
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,320
with different parts of us. Let's
588
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,440
unite all parts of us because we are one.
589
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,920
And that is my message to you.
590
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,880
And that is the world that I want to live in
591
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,680
in the year of 2026.
592
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:22,760
So
593
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:23,880
join me.
594
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,800
Let's make the new year the best year ever.
595
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,480
And let's just
596
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,600
change the world by becoming the change
597
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,880
that we want to see
598
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:34,840
in the world.
599
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:35,640
So
600
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,680
my dear shiny minds, you know where to find me.
601
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,000
You can go to shinyunsal.com
602
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,600
and grab that PDF
603
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,840
and to see how we can work together in 2026.
604
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,600
Or you can go to neuroshinetechnology.com
605
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,320
and
606
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,440
Book a call with one of us, with one of our
607
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,560
faculty trainers,
608
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,000
and see how
609
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,240
we can hold your hand
610
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,160
as your personal development
611
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,040
partner,
612
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,360
as your partner in SHINE,
613
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,480
and we can really hold the space for you to
614
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,080
become the change you want to see in the world.
615
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,840
That is my wish for you, for your loved ones.
616
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,160
If you like this video, please put a like,
617
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,560
share it with others, and subscribe for
618
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,520
more videos,
619
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,680
more content.
620
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,600
just like this so that we can show up
621
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,440
better, more conscious,
622
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,960
more delicious human beings in 2026.
623
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,480
Thank you for watching.
624
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:32,680
Thank you for your support
625
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,720
in the entire year of 2025.
626
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,520
Until next time, keep shining your life.
627
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,760
Go galactic.
628
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,120
Go galactic.
629
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,040
Then you're in the right place.
630
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,560
Let's go, let's go.
00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,720
When the countdown begins for a new year,
2
00:00:02,960 --> 00:00:04,880
we need to look at what to release.
3
00:00:05,000 --> 00:00:05,840
And that's why
4
00:00:06,080 --> 00:00:08,680
we're going to talk about why you need to
5
00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:13,040
stop abandoning yourself in 2006 and how.
6
00:00:13,040 --> 00:00:13,920
Let's begin.
7
00:00:14,080 --> 00:00:14,880
Are you ready to shine?
8
00:00:15,520 --> 00:00:15,680
Come
9
00:00:15,920 --> 00:00:16,080
on.
10
00:00:16,240 --> 00:00:17,360
It's the shiny one.
11
00:00:17,360 --> 00:00:17,880
You got this.
12
00:00:18,680 --> 00:00:20,400
Welcome to the Shiny Minds Show.
13
00:00:20,400 --> 00:00:21,440
Hello everyone.
14
00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:24,080
I am Dr. Shiny. I am
15
00:00:24,480 --> 00:00:27,840
super excited that we are literally in the
16
00:00:27,840 --> 00:00:29,360
official countdown
17
00:00:29,680 --> 00:00:33,760
to wrap up the year of 2025 behind to
18
00:00:33,760 --> 00:00:36,280
welcome the new year with love and
19
00:00:36,280 --> 00:00:39,360
acceptance and abundance and gratitude.
20
00:00:39,680 --> 00:00:42,160
I always take the time at the end of the
21
00:00:42,160 --> 00:00:44,920
year to look at what I have accomplished,
22
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what I have achieved, how I have lived, how I have
23
00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:49,920
showed up,
24
00:00:50,240 --> 00:00:50,720
and
25
00:00:51,040 --> 00:00:54,320
what can I do even better next year?
26
00:00:54,640 --> 00:00:55,120
And
27
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I wanted to take this time to talk about
28
00:00:58,400 --> 00:00:59,680
our patterns,
29
00:00:59,920 --> 00:01:00,640
because
30
00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:01,760
here's the thing.
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When we are entering a new year, it is
32
00:01:05,200 --> 00:01:07,920
really not what we are bringing
33
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to add on.
34
00:01:09,760 --> 00:01:12,880
It is more so about what we are not
35
00:01:12,880 --> 00:01:15,200
bringing and what we are releasing.
36
00:01:15,440 --> 00:01:16,320
So think about it.
37
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If you have
38
00:01:17,760 --> 00:01:22,240
a beautiful bottle of oil that you love so much,
39
00:01:22,720 --> 00:01:23,600
And still,
40
00:01:23,840 --> 00:01:26,720
if this oil carries a drop of
41
00:01:26,960 --> 00:01:28,160
poison in it,
42
00:01:28,480 --> 00:01:30,800
is it still the oil that you love?
43
00:01:31,040 --> 00:01:31,760
Not really,
44
00:01:32,080 --> 00:01:34,000
because it has poison in it, right?
45
00:01:34,240 --> 00:01:36,480
So the most important
46
00:01:36,720 --> 00:01:37,360
part
47
00:01:37,600 --> 00:01:41,640
that becomes in our everyday life is how
48
00:01:41,680 --> 00:01:44,640
can we remove the poison? How can we remove
49
00:01:44,880 --> 00:01:47,280
the patterns that are stopping us, that are
50
00:01:47,280 --> 00:01:49,040
making us feel stuck?
51
00:01:49,360 --> 00:01:50,320
not able to move
52
00:01:50,720 --> 00:01:52,320
forward, stagnant.
53
00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:53,360
That's why
54
00:01:53,760 --> 00:01:56,160
I would love to talk about what
55
00:01:56,400 --> 00:01:59,680
the patterns are that I see a lot
56
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in my coaching education
57
00:02:02,000 --> 00:02:04,560
programs so that I can give you a
58
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map.
59
00:02:05,440 --> 00:02:08,280
So perhaps you also need that kind of a
60
00:02:08,280 --> 00:02:09,920
map, that kind of a mirror
61
00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:12,560
to look at your own life, to look at your
62
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own patterns, and then to say, okay, am I
63
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willing to
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release them
65
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and not take them with me? to the new year
66
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because it's super important to become
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aware of our patterns
68
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and then to have a conversation with them
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and to literally say,
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listen,
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I
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know you're trying to protect me. I know
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you
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are here for a reason.
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Dear pattern, I appreciate that.
76
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I know you are doing the best
77
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and
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I have survived video up until now.
79
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And yet for the next year and moving
80
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forward,
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I actually
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would love to do something different video.
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I would love to sit down with you
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and to understand what was the intention
85
00:02:58,640 --> 00:02:59,520
behind
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all these automatic habits and patterns
87
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that you,
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you did for me so that I can just let go of you.
89
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I believe I can have a different
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relationship with you
91
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outside of
92
00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,200
my own mental patterns, your pattern.
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So can I take you outside of
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my being, my nervous system, and can I put
95
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you outside?
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If we don't have this conversation,
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we will never be able to outgrow them. So
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I have three patterns that I picked that I
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see a lot
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in human behaviors in all of us in
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human psychology.
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Number one is people pleasing.
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I am a recovering people pleaser myself,
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and I have been recovering for a while now.
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And then I know it's an ongoing process.
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It's a lifetime process, maybe,
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because
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I learned it at a very young age in my
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childhood.
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So it became my conditioning
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and I have all the tools with my own
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Neuro-Shine Technology™ with neurolinguistic
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programming, positive psychology, quantum
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physics,
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metaphysics,
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leadership communication strategies, even
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like cosmology.
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I look at the stars and then I look at the
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sky mechanics and then I apply that to
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myself and
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then I realize it still is there
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because there is a part of me
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that I like being
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this person who pleases others.
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Are you feeling the same?
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If you have that, I understand.
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If we are trying trying to please others at
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the cost
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of our own self-love, our own self-worth,
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then we are damaging ourselves, then it's
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not helping, then it is actually
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doing the opposite effect. We are
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selling our souls, selling our sovereignty
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in the expectation of approval, in the
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expectation of
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doing something for something else.
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And then at the end of the day, we are
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abandoning us.
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That is not
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what life is about.
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Life is about
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becoming one within ourselves, becoming
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sovereign beings, co-creators of our life.
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And I am coming to you.
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with
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full vulnerability.
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Obviously, I have been teaching
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my Neuro-Shine Technology™ for so many years.
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I started my company Academy of Neuro-Shine
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Technology™ in 2011.
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It's going to be 15 years in January, in a month.
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So I started teaching NLP.
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I started teaching different
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disciplines because I always wanted to
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apply those teachings to myself.
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I needed it. I
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come from
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this
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wound of of not being
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good enough.
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And it comes from my relationship with my
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father in my childhood.
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I just learned that as a behavior
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and I thought
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I needed to do extra, extra
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to get love from
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others.
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That's a learned behavior.
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That was something
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my child's brain
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thought it was the truth
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because I didn't have
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the conscious critical thinking around it yet.
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But back then,
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all I wanted was love.
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And
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love
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was sort of conditional.
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I needed to do
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things that I didn't want to.
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I needed to say the things that I knew I
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didn't mean to.
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Otherwise, my father would resent me and
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then he wouldn't talk to me for days and
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months.
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And so
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my
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my little
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child self learned that behavior.
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In order to get love, you need to please
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the person.
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You don't have to say what you think.
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You don't
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00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:50,960
you don't actually put your truth out there
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because it hurts them
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and they are not happy.
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So if they are not happy,
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therefore you don't deserve to be happy.
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Do you see the mechanics, how it works.
200
00:07:01,840 --> 00:07:03,680
So if you are someone like that,
201
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I get you.
202
00:07:04,640 --> 00:07:05,280
I hear you.
203
00:07:05,360 --> 00:07:07,920
We are all on this boats together.
204
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We are all in this game together.
205
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And that's why I'm telling you
206
00:07:12,400 --> 00:07:13,280
there is a way out.
207
00:07:13,520 --> 00:07:14,400
There is a way out.
208
00:07:14,400 --> 00:07:16,720
Once you understand your pattern, once you
209
00:07:16,720 --> 00:07:19,600
become friends with it, once you understand
210
00:07:19,600 --> 00:07:22,480
it, once you just ask the intention behind it,
211
00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,760
once you realize,
212
00:07:24,000 --> 00:07:24,240
oh,
213
00:07:24,680 --> 00:07:26,960
It was trying to give me love.
214
00:07:26,960 --> 00:07:29,040
It was trying to prove me
215
00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:31,040
my own self worth, but
216
00:07:31,360 --> 00:07:32,480
it is so old.
217
00:07:32,480 --> 00:07:34,640
It is just 40 years ago.
218
00:07:34,960 --> 00:07:35,440
So
219
00:07:35,760 --> 00:07:38,200
it was 40 years ago when we learned this,
220
00:07:38,240 --> 00:07:39,960
it was a total different game.
221
00:07:39,960 --> 00:07:41,520
It was a total reality.
222
00:07:41,840 --> 00:07:42,960
Like that
223
00:07:43,200 --> 00:07:45,360
timeline has shifted already.
224
00:07:45,640 --> 00:07:47,720
I don't have to accept it as my truth
225
00:07:47,720 --> 00:07:48,320
anymore,
226
00:07:48,560 --> 00:07:50,240
so I can just let it go.
227
00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:51,120
I can release it.
228
00:07:51,120 --> 00:07:52,160
And so can you,
229
00:07:52,480 --> 00:07:54,520
so all the people pleasers in the house,
230
00:07:54,960 --> 00:07:57,760
I know I am not the only one. I know
231
00:07:58,000 --> 00:08:00,800
you are listening and you are feeling it
232
00:08:01,120 --> 00:08:03,520
and you are asking if that's the case for you.
233
00:08:03,760 --> 00:08:05,280
If there is any part of you
234
00:08:05,680 --> 00:08:08,880
that is doing too much for other people's
235
00:08:09,040 --> 00:08:12,160
opinions, for other people's approval, for
236
00:08:12,160 --> 00:08:14,240
other people's emotions.
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00:08:14,240 --> 00:08:16,160
If you find yourself trying to manage
238
00:08:16,240 --> 00:08:18,320
others' emotions, if you are
239
00:08:18,560 --> 00:08:21,360
too sensitive to what is going on around you
240
00:08:21,680 --> 00:08:24,000
because you have this type of a symptom
241
00:08:24,240 --> 00:08:25,760
and it's It's totally okay.
242
00:08:26,040 --> 00:08:27,680
It's a learned behavior.
243
00:08:27,840 --> 00:08:30,240
Once you understand it, once you apply
244
00:08:30,560 --> 00:08:31,120
my
245
00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:35,120
formula for change, which is change equals
246
00:08:35,480 --> 00:08:37,840
awareness multiplied by willingness,
247
00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:39,280
you become aware of it.
248
00:08:39,360 --> 00:08:42,000
Okay, this was all so that I could be
249
00:08:42,240 --> 00:08:44,480
happy and then I could feel loved,
250
00:08:44,720 --> 00:08:47,280
but it was all for a reason.
251
00:08:47,280 --> 00:08:48,560
I didn't know any better.
252
00:08:48,560 --> 00:08:49,760
It was looking for
253
00:08:50,040 --> 00:08:51,520
external approval.
254
00:08:51,520 --> 00:08:54,080
So now I am choosing my internal approval.
255
00:08:54,640 --> 00:08:57,040
Now I am not abandoning myself.
256
00:08:57,200 --> 00:09:00,160
Now I am not betraying myself. Now
257
00:09:00,480 --> 00:09:02,640
I am choosing myself.
258
00:09:02,880 --> 00:09:04,560
I'm going to be true to myself.
259
00:09:04,880 --> 00:09:07,400
I can understand that they may not like
260
00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,080
what I say.
261
00:09:08,080 --> 00:09:10,080
They may not approve what I say,
262
00:09:10,320 --> 00:09:13,760
but my job is not to make them like me.
263
00:09:13,920 --> 00:09:16,480
My job is to make me like me.
264
00:09:16,640 --> 00:09:18,160
Therefore, I am
265
00:09:18,480 --> 00:09:19,360
shifting
266
00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:22,560
the things and I am shape shifting.
267
00:09:22,560 --> 00:09:24,520
I am turning things around and I'm choosing me.
268
00:09:24,880 --> 00:09:25,200
Okay,
269
00:09:25,520 --> 00:09:27,680
this is how we can release
270
00:09:27,920 --> 00:09:30,320
this pattern and then we can let it go and
271
00:09:30,320 --> 00:09:32,800
then we can stay in 2025.
272
00:09:32,800 --> 00:09:33,360
We can say
273
00:09:33,920 --> 00:09:34,800
kiss goodbye
274
00:09:35,040 --> 00:09:37,440
to it and then we can say thank you
275
00:09:37,680 --> 00:09:40,320
for all these years, for all the things
276
00:09:40,320 --> 00:09:41,280
that you have done.
277
00:09:41,640 --> 00:09:43,040
to make me feel loved,
278
00:09:43,280 --> 00:09:44,800
to make me feel worthy.
279
00:09:45,080 --> 00:09:46,320
I really appreciate it.
280
00:09:46,480 --> 00:09:47,440
I know better now.
281
00:09:47,680 --> 00:09:48,560
I learned now.
282
00:09:48,800 --> 00:09:50,240
I am aware and I'm willing.
283
00:09:50,600 --> 00:09:53,520
I'm aware that it's an external approval
284
00:09:53,760 --> 00:09:56,160
mechanics that I am not choosing anymore.
285
00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:56,800
So
286
00:09:57,240 --> 00:09:58,320
I'm also willing
287
00:09:58,560 --> 00:10:00,480
to be disliked.
288
00:10:00,760 --> 00:10:01,920
I'm also willing
289
00:10:02,160 --> 00:10:04,480
to choose my internal
290
00:10:04,800 --> 00:10:05,760
self-word,
291
00:10:06,000 --> 00:10:08,880
my internal love, my self-love over
292
00:10:08,880 --> 00:10:09,760
external.
293
00:10:10,120 --> 00:10:10,560
like
294
00:10:10,840 --> 00:10:12,160
an approval. Yes?
295
00:10:12,480 --> 00:10:13,200
Can we say that?
296
00:10:13,440 --> 00:10:14,080
We got this.
297
00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:16,000
The second pattern that I
298
00:10:16,320 --> 00:10:19,440
want to talk to you about that I see so much
299
00:10:19,680 --> 00:10:20,160
in
300
00:10:20,400 --> 00:10:21,120
all of us
301
00:10:21,360 --> 00:10:23,040
as humanity is
302
00:10:23,440 --> 00:10:24,800
not able to say no.
303
00:10:25,240 --> 00:10:28,120
when your whole body is screaming, no,
304
00:10:28,840 --> 00:10:31,800
but you find yourself saying, yes, sure.
305
00:10:32,120 --> 00:10:33,560
Ever had one of those moments?
306
00:10:33,880 --> 00:10:36,760
You are definitely a no, no, no.
307
00:10:36,800 --> 00:10:38,200
Like, please leave me alone.
308
00:10:38,440 --> 00:10:39,560
And still
309
00:10:39,800 --> 00:10:40,600
you just
310
00:10:40,840 --> 00:10:43,080
don't even realize how that automatically
311
00:10:43,080 --> 00:10:44,160
left your mouth
312
00:10:44,600 --> 00:10:45,800
because you just said yes.
313
00:10:46,120 --> 00:10:46,920
Does that ever happen? I
314
00:10:47,240 --> 00:10:47,480
know.
315
00:10:47,720 --> 00:10:49,800
So this one I'm better at.
316
00:10:50,040 --> 00:10:52,120
I am absolutely good at saying no.
317
00:10:52,440 --> 00:10:53,240
I learned it.
318
00:10:53,440 --> 00:10:54,120
This was
319
00:10:54,480 --> 00:10:57,160
a very hard process for me, especially if
320
00:10:57,160 --> 00:10:59,240
you are working with others that
321
00:10:59,640 --> 00:11:03,560
require your input, that wants your
322
00:11:03,560 --> 00:11:05,800
attention, that wants your help,
323
00:11:06,080 --> 00:11:07,000
those people,
324
00:11:07,240 --> 00:11:08,920
they're going to want all of these things
325
00:11:08,920 --> 00:11:09,720
from you, right?
326
00:11:09,960 --> 00:11:11,480
You're needed and you're wanted.
327
00:11:11,800 --> 00:11:13,840
So the intention behind this pattern, if
328
00:11:13,840 --> 00:11:16,440
you sit with it and if you ask, you like
329
00:11:16,440 --> 00:11:19,320
being wanted, you like being needed,
330
00:11:19,640 --> 00:11:21,400
you like the attention.
331
00:11:21,560 --> 00:11:23,400
That's kind of like the addiction.
332
00:11:23,400 --> 00:11:25,480
It's still the external approval.
333
00:11:25,480 --> 00:11:27,080
It's still something external.
334
00:11:27,080 --> 00:11:27,800
Do you see?
335
00:11:28,040 --> 00:11:29,160
It's a common pattern.
336
00:11:29,160 --> 00:11:30,440
It's a common theme
337
00:11:30,680 --> 00:11:32,040
of external
338
00:11:32,320 --> 00:11:33,240
approvals.
339
00:11:33,480 --> 00:11:34,120
And so
340
00:11:34,520 --> 00:11:35,640
what you can do
341
00:11:35,960 --> 00:11:38,280
to apply my formula for change,
342
00:11:38,520 --> 00:11:40,320
awareness multiply by willingness, you can
343
00:11:40,320 --> 00:11:41,240
become aware of it.
344
00:11:41,400 --> 00:11:44,200
Am I physically feeling
345
00:11:44,440 --> 00:11:45,080
this?
346
00:11:45,320 --> 00:11:46,600
Yes, in my body.
347
00:11:46,600 --> 00:11:48,280
Is this a full body? Yes.
348
00:11:48,320 --> 00:11:49,480
Am I owning it?
349
00:11:49,880 --> 00:11:50,920
Do I feel
350
00:11:51,280 --> 00:11:53,000
expansion in my heart?
351
00:11:53,240 --> 00:11:56,200
Do I feel expansion in my being when
352
00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:59,080
this question comes to me, when this
353
00:11:59,080 --> 00:12:01,320
request comes to me, do I feel
354
00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:02,440
yes,
355
00:12:02,720 --> 00:12:04,840
a full body yes, or
356
00:12:05,080 --> 00:12:05,720
do I feel
357
00:12:06,680 --> 00:12:07,480
Not really.
358
00:12:07,480 --> 00:12:08,360
Please leave me alone.
359
00:12:08,360 --> 00:12:09,240
Please leave me alone.
360
00:12:09,480 --> 00:12:10,760
But and then you still say,
361
00:12:11,000 --> 00:12:14,680
sure, I'll do it because you feel like you
362
00:12:14,680 --> 00:12:15,960
are supposed to.
363
00:12:16,120 --> 00:12:17,880
It's so not easy.
364
00:12:17,960 --> 00:12:18,920
I got to tell you,
365
00:12:19,640 --> 00:12:22,040
we are surrounded by people and if we live
366
00:12:22,360 --> 00:12:22,760
in
367
00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:23,720
people,
368
00:12:24,240 --> 00:12:24,520
okay,
369
00:12:25,000 --> 00:12:26,680
we are people.
370
00:12:26,960 --> 00:12:27,560
And so
371
00:12:27,960 --> 00:12:31,480
it is an addiction that we are
372
00:12:31,720 --> 00:12:32,760
surrounded by.
373
00:12:32,760 --> 00:12:35,080
We are programmed by conditioned by
374
00:12:35,400 --> 00:12:36,040
people
375
00:12:36,320 --> 00:12:37,720
are going need other people.
376
00:12:37,880 --> 00:12:40,920
And yet what we are going to
377
00:12:41,240 --> 00:12:44,480
need to become aware of is the context
378
00:12:44,480 --> 00:12:45,000
around it.
379
00:12:45,240 --> 00:12:46,920
The first thing you need to become aware of
380
00:12:47,080 --> 00:12:48,560
is your body language.
381
00:12:48,560 --> 00:12:51,040
What is your body saying, right? That is
382
00:12:51,040 --> 00:12:53,000
your nervous system speaking to you.
383
00:12:53,240 --> 00:12:54,280
If you are
384
00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:55,840
not feeling a
385
00:12:56,280 --> 00:12:57,640
yes from your body,
386
00:12:57,880 --> 00:13:00,520
then look at the conditions around that.
387
00:13:00,520 --> 00:13:01,880
Look at the context around that.
388
00:13:01,880 --> 00:13:04,280
Why would you not want to say yes to this
389
00:13:04,280 --> 00:13:06,360
one? Oh, because it is going to require
390
00:13:06,800 --> 00:13:08,760
a lot of time from you and then you're not
391
00:13:08,760 --> 00:13:11,000
willing to spend your time on this thing.
392
00:13:11,320 --> 00:13:12,120
Valid enough.
393
00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:15,200
That is exactly the case and that's exactly
394
00:13:15,200 --> 00:13:16,200
the reason why
395
00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:18,040
you are going to say no.
396
00:13:18,400 --> 00:13:19,160
And you're going to say,
397
00:13:19,400 --> 00:13:21,320
you know what? I have my other priorities.
398
00:13:21,480 --> 00:13:24,520
I would have really loved to do it, yet I
399
00:13:24,520 --> 00:13:25,960
have my other priorities.
400
00:13:25,960 --> 00:13:27,560
So perhaps next time.
401
00:13:27,720 --> 00:13:29,720
Or you're going to say something like,
402
00:13:29,960 --> 00:13:33,400
you know, I am working on saying no
403
00:13:33,640 --> 00:13:36,200
when I don't feel like a full body yes
404
00:13:36,200 --> 00:13:37,160
within myself.
405
00:13:37,320 --> 00:13:39,720
Although it is very uncomfortable,
406
00:13:39,960 --> 00:13:41,680
I would really appreciate your
407
00:13:41,680 --> 00:13:42,680
understanding
408
00:13:42,920 --> 00:13:45,720
in this work that I am doing for my
409
00:13:45,720 --> 00:13:46,840
personal development.
410
00:13:47,080 --> 00:13:47,320
There
411
00:13:47,880 --> 00:13:48,200
you go.
412
00:13:48,400 --> 00:13:49,240
not only
413
00:13:49,480 --> 00:13:52,240
spoke your truths, but you also included
414
00:13:52,240 --> 00:13:53,920
them and you invited them.
415
00:13:53,920 --> 00:13:57,000
And then by being in this way, you're also
416
00:13:57,000 --> 00:13:58,600
inviting them to do the same.
417
00:13:58,760 --> 00:13:59,720
One person
418
00:14:00,040 --> 00:14:00,760
doing it,
419
00:14:01,000 --> 00:14:03,560
inviting the other one, and the other one
420
00:14:03,560 --> 00:14:04,240
is doing the
421
00:14:04,760 --> 00:14:06,840
same thing for the other person.
422
00:14:06,840 --> 00:14:10,040
And then that's how we can start a ripple effect
423
00:14:10,400 --> 00:14:11,520
of owning our truth.
424
00:14:11,960 --> 00:14:13,880
Saying no is okay.
425
00:14:14,120 --> 00:14:16,600
Saying no to yourself is not,
426
00:14:16,920 --> 00:14:18,200
and we can totally do it.
427
00:14:18,440 --> 00:14:19,000
Yes.
428
00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:21,080
Choose yourself and
429
00:14:21,440 --> 00:14:23,800
invite others to join your process.
430
00:14:23,800 --> 00:14:24,520
Look at this.
431
00:14:24,520 --> 00:14:26,080
Zoom agrees. Yes.
432
00:14:26,080 --> 00:14:26,680
I love it.
433
00:14:26,960 --> 00:14:27,640
Wonderful.
434
00:14:27,960 --> 00:14:28,280
So the
435
00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:33,320
third pattern that I see a lot in humanity
436
00:14:33,560 --> 00:14:36,280
as a psychological pattern is
437
00:14:36,520 --> 00:14:37,320
avoidance.
438
00:14:37,560 --> 00:14:38,120
You know how
439
00:14:38,440 --> 00:14:41,320
you have some very difficult conversation
440
00:14:41,320 --> 00:14:43,520
that you need to have, and then you
441
00:14:43,560 --> 00:14:45,480
successfully put it under the carpet,
442
00:14:45,800 --> 00:14:47,880
you are totally fine not
443
00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,760
doing it because it is uncomfortable.
444
00:14:51,000 --> 00:14:52,360
That's what I'm talking about.
445
00:14:52,600 --> 00:14:53,960
In these moments,
446
00:14:54,360 --> 00:14:55,080
we are
447
00:14:55,320 --> 00:14:56,320
less of a
448
00:14:56,600 --> 00:14:58,760
dignified human because
449
00:14:59,000 --> 00:15:00,680
look at the mechanics behind it.
450
00:15:00,920 --> 00:15:01,400
I
451
00:15:01,720 --> 00:15:07,160
let this discomfort become bigger than my truth.
452
00:15:07,480 --> 00:15:08,600
Discomfort
453
00:15:08,840 --> 00:15:09,720
owns me
454
00:15:09,960 --> 00:15:13,000
because it shapes how I behave in this
455
00:15:13,000 --> 00:15:13,720
moment.
456
00:15:13,880 --> 00:15:15,560
So discomfort
457
00:15:15,880 --> 00:15:18,120
overpowers my throat.
458
00:15:18,280 --> 00:15:20,120
Therefore, discomfort
459
00:15:20,360 --> 00:15:21,080
wins the game.
460
00:15:21,320 --> 00:15:21,720
You see,
461
00:15:21,960 --> 00:15:22,440
that's it.
462
00:15:22,600 --> 00:15:24,200
That's the mechanics behind it.
463
00:15:24,440 --> 00:15:26,840
And that's exactly why we need to stop it.
464
00:15:26,840 --> 00:15:28,920
And then we need to also put it behind.
465
00:15:29,080 --> 00:15:32,600
We need to release it and we need to let it go and
466
00:15:32,840 --> 00:15:33,240
not
467
00:15:33,560 --> 00:15:34,280
carry it.
468
00:15:34,640 --> 00:15:37,880
to the upcoming year of 2026. So
469
00:15:38,360 --> 00:15:41,400
the pattern of avoidance is obviously
470
00:15:41,400 --> 00:15:43,000
another pattern that we learn
471
00:15:43,240 --> 00:15:44,120
in our
472
00:15:44,440 --> 00:15:45,240
upbringing.
473
00:15:45,560 --> 00:15:46,280
And it
474
00:15:46,680 --> 00:15:49,640
is also a very deeply rooted pattern.
475
00:15:49,960 --> 00:15:52,760
So I understand if you are unconsciously
476
00:15:52,760 --> 00:15:53,480
doing that,
477
00:15:53,760 --> 00:15:56,040
I mean, inviting you to become aware of it.
478
00:15:56,280 --> 00:15:59,560
If there is no awareness, you cannot change it.
479
00:15:59,800 --> 00:16:01,080
Let go of
480
00:16:01,320 --> 00:16:03,000
all the things that you do,
481
00:16:03,240 --> 00:16:03,560
which
482
00:16:03,880 --> 00:16:04,560
might fall under
483
00:16:05,400 --> 00:16:07,240
Oh, I'm doing a lot of things, but you're
484
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,160
not doing the thing that needs to
485
00:16:09,480 --> 00:16:11,240
release the pattern, break the pattern.
486
00:16:11,400 --> 00:16:13,320
So if you're doing a lot of the things, but
487
00:16:13,320 --> 00:16:15,240
you are not facing your avoidance,
488
00:16:15,480 --> 00:16:16,840
then you're not being aware.
489
00:16:17,000 --> 00:16:18,760
So awareness becomes zero.
490
00:16:18,760 --> 00:16:20,120
Whatever you multiply
491
00:16:20,440 --> 00:16:21,480
by zero is zero.
492
00:16:21,800 --> 00:16:22,680
still going to be zero.
493
00:16:22,680 --> 00:16:24,440
So that's why you're not going to change
494
00:16:24,440 --> 00:16:25,000
your pattern.
495
00:16:25,240 --> 00:16:27,320
Understand? When you become aware of it,
496
00:16:27,440 --> 00:16:30,120
when you face your avoidance and when you say,
497
00:16:30,440 --> 00:16:31,320
dear avoidance,
498
00:16:31,560 --> 00:16:33,480
you're not bigger than me.
499
00:16:33,720 --> 00:16:35,720
You're not going to overpower me.
500
00:16:35,960 --> 00:16:36,880
I am just going
501
00:16:37,160 --> 00:16:37,240
to
502
00:16:37,480 --> 00:16:39,240
turn it into a conversation,
503
00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:40,840
which is all that is.
504
00:16:41,200 --> 00:16:42,200
I'm just going to own it.
505
00:16:42,360 --> 00:16:43,720
I'm just going to show up to it.
506
00:16:43,720 --> 00:16:45,720
I'm not going to let it bother me because
507
00:16:45,760 --> 00:16:46,680
I'm bigger than that.
508
00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:48,440
I am more powerful than that.
509
00:16:48,680 --> 00:16:50,560
You know, these conflicts, these difficult
510
00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,680
conversations as part of
511
00:16:52,360 --> 00:16:52,840
So
512
00:16:53,080 --> 00:16:56,040
thank you for protecting me all this time
513
00:16:56,360 --> 00:16:56,920
and
514
00:16:57,160 --> 00:16:59,720
pretending and then assuming that it would
515
00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:02,520
not be okay for me, but it is totally okay for me.
516
00:17:02,880 --> 00:17:03,960
I'm accepting
517
00:17:04,200 --> 00:17:04,280
the
518
00:17:04,760 --> 00:17:05,800
difficulty
519
00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,720
of this conversation
520
00:17:07,960 --> 00:17:09,320
and I'm totally fine with it.
521
00:17:09,560 --> 00:17:11,560
In these difficult conversations,
522
00:17:11,800 --> 00:17:13,240
as I do more of them,
523
00:17:13,560 --> 00:17:15,800
I actually build my muscle around it
524
00:17:16,040 --> 00:17:17,000
and then I
525
00:17:17,240 --> 00:17:19,560
become tough and so difficult
526
00:17:19,880 --> 00:17:21,400
is not difficult anymore.
527
00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:23,640
I actually raise my
528
00:17:23,880 --> 00:17:27,080
level, my standard high above that,
529
00:17:27,400 --> 00:17:27,800
and
530
00:17:28,120 --> 00:17:30,360
they become no longer difficult for me.
531
00:17:30,440 --> 00:17:32,120
They become easy for me in time.
532
00:17:32,280 --> 00:17:33,320
So that's it.
533
00:17:33,480 --> 00:17:35,000
That's the willingness part.
534
00:17:35,160 --> 00:17:37,960
You literally owning it, saying it,
535
00:17:38,040 --> 00:17:39,560
reframing how
536
00:17:39,960 --> 00:17:41,160
it can change
537
00:17:41,400 --> 00:17:42,360
its form
538
00:17:42,680 --> 00:17:43,480
in your
539
00:17:43,800 --> 00:17:46,280
mental, emotional, and
540
00:17:46,600 --> 00:17:48,680
psychological and spiritual
541
00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:49,480
being.
542
00:17:49,640 --> 00:17:50,680
Okay? So
543
00:17:51,040 --> 00:17:51,480
again, to
544
00:17:51,800 --> 00:17:55,160
wrap up, we talked about three patterns that
545
00:17:55,400 --> 00:17:56,760
we can all let go
546
00:17:57,000 --> 00:17:58,120
and release to
547
00:17:58,600 --> 00:17:58,800
the
548
00:17:59,400 --> 00:18:02,920
air, to the field in 2025, and we are not
549
00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,080
going to carry them with us to
550
00:18:05,320 --> 00:18:07,160
2026.
551
00:18:07,160 --> 00:18:08,760
Number one, people pleasing.
552
00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:09,960
Number two,
553
00:18:10,200 --> 00:18:13,040
saying yes when we know we want to say no.
554
00:18:13,040 --> 00:18:13,280
And then
555
00:18:13,640 --> 00:18:14,840
number three,
556
00:18:15,200 --> 00:18:17,160
avoiding and putting things under the
557
00:18:17,160 --> 00:18:18,120
carpet when
558
00:18:18,360 --> 00:18:21,160
it feels difficult because we know we can
559
00:18:21,160 --> 00:18:21,680
do better.
560
00:18:22,120 --> 00:18:22,600
and
561
00:18:22,920 --> 00:18:25,480
the old difficult becomes the new easy.
562
00:18:25,920 --> 00:18:27,000
We all have that.
563
00:18:27,000 --> 00:18:28,120
We just need to
564
00:18:28,360 --> 00:18:29,960
become bigger than them.
565
00:18:30,120 --> 00:18:30,760
That's it.
566
00:18:31,080 --> 00:18:31,720
And that's
567
00:18:32,040 --> 00:18:32,760
why
568
00:18:33,080 --> 00:18:35,160
I am inviting all of us
569
00:18:35,480 --> 00:18:36,280
to sit
570
00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:39,080
with our decisions, with our behaviors,
571
00:18:39,080 --> 00:18:40,880
with our language patterns, with our
572
00:18:40,880 --> 00:18:41,880
relationships.
573
00:18:42,120 --> 00:18:42,520
How
574
00:18:42,760 --> 00:18:46,840
do we show up? How did you show up in 2025?
575
00:18:47,240 --> 00:18:47,640
How
576
00:18:47,960 --> 00:18:50,200
did you talk to yourself? Did you abandon
577
00:18:50,200 --> 00:18:50,760
yourself?
578
00:18:51,000 --> 00:18:53,720
Did you betray Did you try to please
579
00:18:53,760 --> 00:18:56,920
others? Say yes when you wanted to say no.
580
00:18:57,160 --> 00:18:57,480
Did you
581
00:18:57,720 --> 00:18:59,760
put things under the carpet when it was
582
00:18:59,760 --> 00:19:01,800
difficult? Let's face it.
583
00:19:02,040 --> 00:19:03,080
Let's take the time.
584
00:19:03,080 --> 00:19:04,200
I'm getting goosebumps.
585
00:19:04,440 --> 00:19:05,720
Let's take the time
586
00:19:05,960 --> 00:19:08,440
to really have this deep conversation
587
00:19:08,680 --> 00:19:11,320
with different parts of us. Let's
588
00:19:11,640 --> 00:19:14,440
unite all parts of us because we are one.
589
00:19:14,680 --> 00:19:16,920
And that is my message to you.
590
00:19:17,160 --> 00:19:19,880
And that is the world that I want to live in
591
00:19:20,120 --> 00:19:21,680
in the year of 2026.
592
00:19:21,960 --> 00:19:22,760
So
593
00:19:23,000 --> 00:19:23,880
join me.
594
00:19:24,040 --> 00:19:27,800
Let's make the new year the best year ever.
595
00:19:27,960 --> 00:19:29,480
And let's just
596
00:19:29,720 --> 00:19:32,600
change the world by becoming the change
597
00:19:32,600 --> 00:19:33,880
that we want to see
598
00:19:34,120 --> 00:19:34,840
in the world.
599
00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:35,640
So
600
00:19:35,880 --> 00:19:38,680
my dear shiny minds, you know where to find me.
601
00:19:38,920 --> 00:19:41,000
You can go to shinyunsal.com
602
00:19:41,360 --> 00:19:42,600
and grab that PDF
603
00:19:42,840 --> 00:19:46,840
and to see how we can work together in 2026.
604
00:19:47,080 --> 00:19:50,600
Or you can go to neuroshinetechnology.com
605
00:19:50,840 --> 00:19:51,320
and
606
00:19:51,760 --> 00:19:54,440
Book a call with one of us, with one of our
607
00:19:54,440 --> 00:19:55,560
faculty trainers,
608
00:19:55,800 --> 00:19:57,000
and see how
609
00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,240
we can hold your hand
610
00:19:59,480 --> 00:20:01,160
as your personal development
611
00:20:01,400 --> 00:20:02,040
partner,
612
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,360
as your partner in SHINE,
613
00:20:04,680 --> 00:20:08,480
and we can really hold the space for you to
614
00:20:08,480 --> 00:20:11,080
become the change you want to see in the world.
615
00:20:11,400 --> 00:20:14,840
That is my wish for you, for your loved ones.
616
00:20:15,000 --> 00:20:17,160
If you like this video, please put a like,
617
00:20:17,400 --> 00:20:19,560
share it with others, and subscribe for
618
00:20:19,560 --> 00:20:20,520
more videos,
619
00:20:20,840 --> 00:20:21,680
more content.
620
00:20:22,200 --> 00:20:24,600
just like this so that we can show up
621
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,440
better, more conscious,
622
00:20:26,680 --> 00:20:29,960
more delicious human beings in 2026.
623
00:20:30,320 --> 00:20:31,480
Thank you for watching.
624
00:20:31,520 --> 00:20:32,680
Thank you for your support
625
00:20:32,920 --> 00:20:35,720
in the entire year of 2025.
626
00:20:36,040 --> 00:20:38,520
Until next time, keep shining your life.
627
00:20:38,840 --> 00:20:39,760
Go galactic.
628
00:20:41,080 --> 00:20:42,120
Go galactic.
629
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,040
Then you're in the right place.
630
00:20:44,720 --> 00:20:45,560
Let's go, let's go.
