WEBVTT
00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:02.080
Have you ever been ready to quit something?
00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:07.919
And I mean completely ready to walk away right before it was about to work.
00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:12.720
Hi, this is Jordiana, the CEO of the Recon Network and host of the In Brief Podcast.
00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:16.640
And today we're talking about one of the most painful ironies of transition.
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:23.679
The fact that the moment you feel the most stuck is often the moment right before things finally shift.
00:00:23.839 --> 00:00:37.200
We're going to talk about why breakthroughs hide behind resistance, why your brain tells you to quit when you're actually really close, and why, in the words of an old principal, you don't want to die on the doorstep when that door is about to open.
00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:41.600
This is in brief.
00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:43.119
Let's get to it.
00:00:56.880 --> 00:00:58.880
Because it's not just frustration.
00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:00.640
It's actually heavier than that.
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:09.200
Stuck feels like you've been doing everything you're supposed to do, showing up, putting in the work, making the effort, and still nothing is changing.
00:01:09.439 --> 00:01:11.840
You apply for jobs and hear nothing back.
00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.120
You reach out to people and make connections that don't go anywhere.
00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:20.719
You work on yourself, build new skills, try new approaches, and still nothing moves.
00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:29.359
After enough time in that place, you start to question whether any of it matters, whether you're wasting your time, whether the thing you're working toward is even possible for you.
00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:34.560
And eventually the voice in your head gets loud enough to say, hey, maybe it's time to quit.
00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:37.200
Maybe this just isn't going to happen.
00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:39.840
But here's what that voice doesn't tell you.
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:43.280
There's a good chance that you're actually standing on the doorstep.
00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:47.920
There's an old principle that says the hardest part of the journey is often right before the breakthrough.
00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:51.840
You may have heard it said, it's always darkest before the dawn.
00:01:52.319 --> 00:02:02.159
But no matter what metaphor you use, it speaks to the point that the moment you feel most like giving up is often the moment you're closest to the thing that you've been working toward.
00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:05.680
The end image is this: don't die on the doorstep.
00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:10.240
Don't walk away when the door you've been working to get through is about to open.
00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:21.919
And that's not just a metaphor, it's a pattern, a real, repeatable pattern that shows up in transition, in career changes, in personal growth, in every hard thing people go through.
00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:24.639
The breakthrough doesn't come when things feel easy.
00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:27.439
It comes right when things feel impossible.
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:34.240
And if you don't know that, if no one's ever told you to expect it, you quit right before the shift happens.
00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:36.159
So why does it happen?
00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:39.360
Why does your brain tell you to quit when you're actually pretty close?
00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:44.319
Well, it's because your brain doesn't measure progress by how close you are to the outcome.
00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:46.719
It can't really see that end result.
00:02:47.120 --> 00:02:53.360
Instead, it measures progress by how much effort you're putting in versus how much reward you're getting back.
00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:54.719
It's a simple formula.
00:02:54.879 --> 00:03:05.840
And when that effort keeps going up and the visible reward stays flat, your brain reads that as a sign that the system isn't working and that you're investing in something that's never going to pay off.
00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:11.599
But that calculation is flawed because most meaningful things don't work on a linear timeline.
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:15.680
It's not like you put in 10 units of effort and get 10 units of result.
00:03:16.159 --> 00:03:18.960
You put in 50 units of effort and get nothing.
00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:22.560
And then you put in 10 more and still nothing changes.
00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:28.960
And then one day you throw in a few more little pieces of effort and everything shifts at once.
00:03:29.120 --> 00:03:34.000
And that isn't because you magically changed how effective you were or what was happening behind the scenes.
00:03:34.159 --> 00:03:36.240
The progress was actually happening the whole time.
00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:37.840
You just couldn't see it yet.
00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:48.080
Think about it like this: if you're building something, a foundation, a structure, anything that requires actual construction, the early work is almost invisible.
00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:53.919
You dig, you pour concrete, you let it set, and from the outside, it looks like nothing's happening.
00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:58.159
But that foundation is what makes everything else possible.
00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:00.639
Without it, the structure collapses.
00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:08.479
And if you quit during the foundation phase because it doesn't feel like progress, you'll never get to the part where things actually start to build.
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:10.719
It's a lot like the bamboo plant.
00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:15.599
The roots of bamboo take years to stabilize and root deep.
00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:17.600
It's stuff that no one ever sees.
00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:22.800
There's no visible result on top of the ground that anything's actually happening at all.
00:04:22.959 --> 00:04:26.639
If you didn't know better, you would think that the plant had died.
00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:31.519
But then within weeks, all of a sudden you've got a six-foot stalk.
00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:34.079
So it wasn't that nothing was happening.
00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:40.639
It was that the rooting was providing a stable surface for the growth that was about to happen.
00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:44.560
So let's reframe what stuck actually means in this context.
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:47.600
Because stuck isn't always a sign that you're in the wrong place.
00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:51.600
Sometimes stuck is a sign that you're in the hardest part of the right place.
00:04:51.920 --> 00:05:00.560
You may be in the place where work is invisible, where progress is underground, where everything you're doing is setting something up that hasn't surfaced yet.
00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:10.639
But if you walk away during this phase, if you quit because it feels like nothing's happening, you don't just lose the progress you already made, you lose the breakthrough that's about to happen.
00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:23.360
But there's also this thing called the sunk cost fallacy, where you tend to think that because you've invested so much time and effort into a thing that we have to keep going or you'll lose all the progress.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:25.199
You don't want that either.
00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:29.199
So how do you actually know if you're on the doorstep?
00:05:29.439 --> 00:05:36.480
How do you know the thing that you're working on is about to break through, or if you're really just wasting your time?
00:05:37.120 --> 00:05:39.120
Well, here's the biggest tell.
00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:46.959
If you've been consistent, you've shown up even when it's hard, made adjustments along the way, not because you're flailing, but because you're learning.
00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:51.439
And despite all that, the external markers of progress still aren't there.
00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:55.519
If that's where you are, you're probably a lot closer than you think.
00:05:55.759 --> 00:05:58.480
Because true quitters aren't the ones who try and fail.
00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:03.439
They're the ones who are doing everything right and stop right before it works.
00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:05.199
But here's what it doesn't mean.
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:08.639
It doesn't mean that you should stay in something that's fundamentally broken.
00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:12.959
It doesn't mean you should keep forcing a path that was never the right fit.
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:17.120
And it doesn't mean that just keep going is the answer to everything.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:19.600
Sometimes the right move is to pivot.
00:06:19.839 --> 00:06:22.399
Sometimes the right move is to just walk away.
00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:28.800
But you have to be able to identify whether the path is the wrong path or if it's just a long path.
00:06:29.040 --> 00:06:41.360
Because if the only reason you're thinking about quitting is because it feels hard and like things are taking too long, because progress isn't visible yet, because you're tired, because you can't see the finish line, that's not a reason to quit.
00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:44.079
That's the reason to hold on a little longer.
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:53.279
The hardest part of any journey is the part where you can't see the destination, but you're too far in to turn back without losing everything you've already built.
00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:54.879
That's the doorstep.
00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:58.319
And the people who make it through aren't the ones who had it easier.
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:04.480
They're the ones who decided that the discomfort of staying was worth more than the relief of quitting.
00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:14.000
Leaving the military can feel chaotic, especially when you feel you should have a plan right away.
00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:17.360
But not knowing what's next doesn't mean you're failing.
00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:19.279
It means you're in transition.
00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:35.839
At the Recon Network, we help veterans and military spouses navigate transition by focusing on stability, direction, and alignment before outcomes are expected, so you can map your future without rushing the wrong move or spending years building a life out of sync with your purpose.
00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:38.000
Don't rush your next step.
00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.800
Navigate it with intention with Recon.
00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:45.680
Learn more about our programs and services at recon.vet.
00:00:00.239 --> 00:00:02.080
Have you ever been ready to quit something?
00:00:02.240 --> 00:00:07.919
And I mean completely ready to walk away right before it was about to work.
00:00:08.320 --> 00:00:12.720
Hi, this is Jordiana, the CEO of the Recon Network and host of the In Brief Podcast.
00:00:12.800 --> 00:00:16.640
And today we're talking about one of the most painful ironies of transition.
00:00:16.879 --> 00:00:23.679
The fact that the moment you feel the most stuck is often the moment right before things finally shift.
00:00:23.839 --> 00:00:37.200
We're going to talk about why breakthroughs hide behind resistance, why your brain tells you to quit when you're actually really close, and why, in the words of an old principal, you don't want to die on the doorstep when that door is about to open.
00:00:40.479 --> 00:00:41.600
This is in brief.
00:00:41.840 --> 00:00:43.119
Let's get to it.
00:00:56.880 --> 00:00:58.880
Because it's not just frustration.
00:00:59.039 --> 00:01:00.640
It's actually heavier than that.
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:09.200
Stuck feels like you've been doing everything you're supposed to do, showing up, putting in the work, making the effort, and still nothing is changing.
00:01:09.439 --> 00:01:11.840
You apply for jobs and hear nothing back.
00:01:12.000 --> 00:01:15.120
You reach out to people and make connections that don't go anywhere.
00:01:15.280 --> 00:01:20.719
You work on yourself, build new skills, try new approaches, and still nothing moves.
00:01:20.959 --> 00:01:29.359
After enough time in that place, you start to question whether any of it matters, whether you're wasting your time, whether the thing you're working toward is even possible for you.
00:01:29.519 --> 00:01:34.560
And eventually the voice in your head gets loud enough to say, hey, maybe it's time to quit.
00:01:34.719 --> 00:01:37.200
Maybe this just isn't going to happen.
00:01:37.439 --> 00:01:39.840
But here's what that voice doesn't tell you.
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:43.280
There's a good chance that you're actually standing on the doorstep.
00:01:43.439 --> 00:01:47.920
There's an old principle that says the hardest part of the journey is often right before the breakthrough.
00:01:48.079 --> 00:01:51.840
You may have heard it said, it's always darkest before the dawn.
00:01:52.319 --> 00:02:02.159
But no matter what metaphor you use, it speaks to the point that the moment you feel most like giving up is often the moment you're closest to the thing that you've been working toward.
00:02:02.560 --> 00:02:05.680
The end image is this: don't die on the doorstep.
00:02:05.840 --> 00:02:10.240
Don't walk away when the door you've been working to get through is about to open.
00:02:10.479 --> 00:02:21.919
And that's not just a metaphor, it's a pattern, a real, repeatable pattern that shows up in transition, in career changes, in personal growth, in every hard thing people go through.
00:02:22.080 --> 00:02:24.639
The breakthrough doesn't come when things feel easy.
00:02:24.879 --> 00:02:27.439
It comes right when things feel impossible.
00:02:27.599 --> 00:02:34.240
And if you don't know that, if no one's ever told you to expect it, you quit right before the shift happens.
00:02:34.800 --> 00:02:36.159
So why does it happen?
00:02:36.319 --> 00:02:39.360
Why does your brain tell you to quit when you're actually pretty close?
00:02:39.599 --> 00:02:44.319
Well, it's because your brain doesn't measure progress by how close you are to the outcome.
00:02:44.479 --> 00:02:46.719
It can't really see that end result.
00:02:47.120 --> 00:02:53.360
Instead, it measures progress by how much effort you're putting in versus how much reward you're getting back.
00:02:53.439 --> 00:02:54.719
It's a simple formula.
00:02:54.879 --> 00:03:05.840
And when that effort keeps going up and the visible reward stays flat, your brain reads that as a sign that the system isn't working and that you're investing in something that's never going to pay off.
00:03:06.080 --> 00:03:11.599
But that calculation is flawed because most meaningful things don't work on a linear timeline.
00:03:11.759 --> 00:03:15.680
It's not like you put in 10 units of effort and get 10 units of result.
00:03:16.159 --> 00:03:18.960
You put in 50 units of effort and get nothing.
00:03:19.120 --> 00:03:22.560
And then you put in 10 more and still nothing changes.
00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:28.960
And then one day you throw in a few more little pieces of effort and everything shifts at once.
00:03:29.120 --> 00:03:34.000
And that isn't because you magically changed how effective you were or what was happening behind the scenes.
00:03:34.159 --> 00:03:36.240
The progress was actually happening the whole time.
00:03:36.319 --> 00:03:37.840
You just couldn't see it yet.
00:03:38.080 --> 00:03:48.080
Think about it like this: if you're building something, a foundation, a structure, anything that requires actual construction, the early work is almost invisible.
00:03:48.240 --> 00:03:53.919
You dig, you pour concrete, you let it set, and from the outside, it looks like nothing's happening.
00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:58.159
But that foundation is what makes everything else possible.
00:03:58.400 --> 00:04:00.639
Without it, the structure collapses.
00:04:00.719 --> 00:04:08.479
And if you quit during the foundation phase because it doesn't feel like progress, you'll never get to the part where things actually start to build.
00:04:08.719 --> 00:04:10.719
It's a lot like the bamboo plant.
00:04:10.879 --> 00:04:15.599
The roots of bamboo take years to stabilize and root deep.
00:04:15.759 --> 00:04:17.600
It's stuff that no one ever sees.
00:04:17.759 --> 00:04:22.800
There's no visible result on top of the ground that anything's actually happening at all.
00:04:22.959 --> 00:04:26.639
If you didn't know better, you would think that the plant had died.
00:04:26.879 --> 00:04:31.519
But then within weeks, all of a sudden you've got a six-foot stalk.
00:04:31.759 --> 00:04:34.079
So it wasn't that nothing was happening.
00:04:34.240 --> 00:04:40.639
It was that the rooting was providing a stable surface for the growth that was about to happen.
00:04:40.959 --> 00:04:44.560
So let's reframe what stuck actually means in this context.
00:04:44.720 --> 00:04:47.600
Because stuck isn't always a sign that you're in the wrong place.
00:04:47.759 --> 00:04:51.600
Sometimes stuck is a sign that you're in the hardest part of the right place.
00:04:51.920 --> 00:05:00.560
You may be in the place where work is invisible, where progress is underground, where everything you're doing is setting something up that hasn't surfaced yet.
00:05:00.720 --> 00:05:10.639
But if you walk away during this phase, if you quit because it feels like nothing's happening, you don't just lose the progress you already made, you lose the breakthrough that's about to happen.
00:05:11.040 --> 00:05:23.360
But there's also this thing called the sunk cost fallacy, where you tend to think that because you've invested so much time and effort into a thing that we have to keep going or you'll lose all the progress.
00:05:23.600 --> 00:05:25.199
You don't want that either.
00:05:25.360 --> 00:05:29.199
So how do you actually know if you're on the doorstep?
00:05:29.439 --> 00:05:36.480
How do you know the thing that you're working on is about to break through, or if you're really just wasting your time?
00:05:37.120 --> 00:05:39.120
Well, here's the biggest tell.
00:05:39.279 --> 00:05:46.959
If you've been consistent, you've shown up even when it's hard, made adjustments along the way, not because you're flailing, but because you're learning.
00:05:47.120 --> 00:05:51.439
And despite all that, the external markers of progress still aren't there.
00:05:51.759 --> 00:05:55.519
If that's where you are, you're probably a lot closer than you think.
00:05:55.759 --> 00:05:58.480
Because true quitters aren't the ones who try and fail.
00:05:58.560 --> 00:06:03.439
They're the ones who are doing everything right and stop right before it works.
00:06:03.759 --> 00:06:05.199
But here's what it doesn't mean.
00:06:05.360 --> 00:06:08.639
It doesn't mean that you should stay in something that's fundamentally broken.
00:06:08.800 --> 00:06:12.959
It doesn't mean you should keep forcing a path that was never the right fit.
00:06:13.120 --> 00:06:17.120
And it doesn't mean that just keep going is the answer to everything.
00:06:17.360 --> 00:06:19.600
Sometimes the right move is to pivot.
00:06:19.839 --> 00:06:22.399
Sometimes the right move is to just walk away.
00:06:22.560 --> 00:06:28.800
But you have to be able to identify whether the path is the wrong path or if it's just a long path.
00:06:29.040 --> 00:06:41.360
Because if the only reason you're thinking about quitting is because it feels hard and like things are taking too long, because progress isn't visible yet, because you're tired, because you can't see the finish line, that's not a reason to quit.
00:06:41.519 --> 00:06:44.079
That's the reason to hold on a little longer.
00:06:44.399 --> 00:06:53.279
The hardest part of any journey is the part where you can't see the destination, but you're too far in to turn back without losing everything you've already built.
00:06:53.439 --> 00:06:54.879
That's the doorstep.
00:06:55.040 --> 00:06:58.319
And the people who make it through aren't the ones who had it easier.
00:06:58.480 --> 00:07:04.480
They're the ones who decided that the discomfort of staying was worth more than the relief of quitting.
00:07:08.639 --> 00:07:14.000
Leaving the military can feel chaotic, especially when you feel you should have a plan right away.
00:07:14.240 --> 00:07:17.360
But not knowing what's next doesn't mean you're failing.
00:07:17.519 --> 00:07:19.279
It means you're in transition.
00:07:19.519 --> 00:07:35.839
At the Recon Network, we help veterans and military spouses navigate transition by focusing on stability, direction, and alignment before outcomes are expected, so you can map your future without rushing the wrong move or spending years building a life out of sync with your purpose.
00:07:36.079 --> 00:07:38.000
Don't rush your next step.
00:07:38.240 --> 00:07:40.800
Navigate it with intention with Recon.
00:07:41.360 --> 00:07:45.680
Learn more about our programs and services at recon.vet.
