WEBVTT
00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:16.000
Have you ever wondered why offering a little kid a new food can lead to a tantrum, or why asking your child to take one more bite can end up with them actually eating less?
00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:20.160
Or maybe mealtimes just aren't the fun and loving moments you imagined.
00:00:20.320 --> 00:00:22.480
Maybe they feel more like a battlefield.
00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:28.879
Well, if your child is a picky eater, you may constantly worry about whether your child is getting enough.
00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:35.280
So let's look at some of the ways you can help a picky eater without turning every meal into a battle.
00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:37.439
Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy.
00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:38.079
I'm Dr.
00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:39.280
Catherine, your host.
00:00:39.359 --> 00:00:51.200
And for those of you who don't know me, I'm a recently retired pediatrician, mama for adult kids, amazing kids, and I've got an 82-pound golden doodle who thinks he's a lapdog.
00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:58.320
During my 40 years of pediatric practice, I saw just how stressful picky eating battles can be for families.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:00.640
Take Leonard and his family, for example.
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:07.359
Leonard wouldn't eat any foods that were touching, and the only vegetables he would reliably eat were potatoes.
00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:13.040
Offer him anything else, and he'd say, no thank you, broccoli, or no thank you, corn.
00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:19.920
His mom tried everything she could think of to get him to eat vegetables, and eventually meals started to sound like this.
00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:23.439
If you don't eat any vegetables, I'm going to send you to your room.
00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:30.319
Most meals ended up with his mum taking him upstairs and saying, When you're ready to eat a few carrots, come back downstairs.
00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:32.159
Finally, his mom called me.
00:01:32.319 --> 00:01:33.760
She was at her wit's end.
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:39.840
In fact, the younger sibling was starting to follow his older brother's lead, and that was the final straw.
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:46.239
There are several things you can do to help a picky eater, and the first may feel a little counterintuitive.
00:01:46.480 --> 00:01:48.640
Start by taking off the pressure.
00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:56.400
Many parents will crank up the pressure when they're worried their child isn't eating enough, but adding more pressure can actually make things worse.
00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:00.400
And pressure doesn't always sound like eat your broccoli or else.
00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:02.079
It can also sound like this.
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:06.480
You can go and play if you take one more bite of broccoli, or like this.
00:02:06.719 --> 00:02:11.039
You don't need to eat all the corn, but you do need to take three more bites.
00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:13.199
And sometimes it comes as pleading.
00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:16.400
Just take one more bite, sweetheart, please, for mummy.
00:02:16.719 --> 00:02:18.319
Do any of these sound familiar?
00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:29.199
Bargaining, bribing, and pleading are all forms of pressure, and while they come from a really loving place, they can have the opposite effect from what you've intended.
00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:34.080
Research has shown that when kids feel pressured to eat, they often eat less.
00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:44.639
We want kids to eat because they're listening to their body signals or because they're interested in the food, not because they'll get a prize, earn your approval, or avoid a punishment.
00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:46.719
So what can you do instead?
00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:53.919
The next suggestion may feel really hard, even scary, but you want to stop pressuring your child to eat more.
00:02:54.080 --> 00:03:02.240
Now, based on feeding expert Ellen Satter's division of responsibility in feeding, you and your child each have different jobs at mealtime.
00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:08.879
Your job is to decide what food is offered, when meals and snacks happen, and where your child eats.
00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:15.360
But your child's job is to decide whether to eat, what to eat from what's offered, and how much to eat.
00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:23.360
In other words, you decide what, when, and where meals happen, and your child decides whether and how much to eat.
00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:25.199
And that's the hardest part.
00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:31.280
You're giving up the job of nudging your child to eat and letting them decide how much their body needs.
00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:35.840
Well you're probably thinking, but if I leave it up to my child, he won't eat anything.
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:40.639
I heard this all the time in my office, and it's really an understandable worry.
00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:47.759
But once your child realizes you're not going to argue, bargain, or pressure them to eat, mealtimes start to feel safer.
00:03:47.919 --> 00:03:54.400
And this gives your child more room to explore food and pay attention to their own hunger and fullness signals.
00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:56.400
Now this doesn't happen overnight.
00:03:56.560 --> 00:04:00.960
It takes time for both you and your child to adjust to a different way of doing meals.
00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:04.240
And here's something that can help you during this transition.
00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:13.280
Rather than worrying about what your child is eating at one meal, zoom out and instead look at what your child eats over the course of a week.
00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:17.680
Now this may sound great in theory, but what does it look like in real life?
00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:21.439
Well, you put the dinner on the table and your child says, gross.
00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:27.199
Well, instead of trying to convince them otherwise, you can simply say, you don't have to eat it, sweetheart.
00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:29.680
Or your child says, I hate broccoli.
00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:32.319
Well, you can say, we all like different things.
00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:34.879
You don't need to convince them to take a bite.
00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:37.600
Your job isn't to get broccoli into their mouth.
00:04:37.759 --> 00:04:41.759
Your focus is on creating a relaxed, healthy mealtime.
00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:46.399
Now, when my granddaughter was younger, her parents gave her a no thank you bowl.
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:50.480
If there was something on her plate she didn't want to eat, she could put it in the bowl.
00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:53.839
She didn't have to eat it or leave it sitting on her plate.
00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:58.959
There was a lot less fighting and playing with food after the no thank you bowl was introduced.
00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:03.439
I've suggested this to many families in my practice and they found it helpful too.
00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:08.079
So the first step to help a picky eater is to take off the pressure.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:12.399
The next thing you can do is to take the focus off what your child is eating.
00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:20.800
So when you can, eat meals together as a family, and rather than making the conversation about what your child is or isn't eating, talk about your day.
00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:24.000
Or ask your kids something like, what was the best part of the day?
00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:30.879
The idea is to make dinner about being together, having fun, and sharing, instead of monitoring every bite.
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:36.800
When my kids were little, we couldn't always sit down together every night, but Friday night was family night.
00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:43.199
And 36 years later, my kids still come home on Friday nights, now with their partners and kids of their own.
00:05:43.439 --> 00:05:46.240
Kids also learn about eating just by watching you.
00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:52.399
There's no lectures needed or finger wagging, they're learning from watching what you eat and how you eat it.
00:05:52.639 --> 00:05:57.839
Another way to help is to let your child spend time around food without asking them to eat it.
00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:04.240
Young children can toss the salad, tear the lettuce, paint on cooking oil, or stir the sauce.
00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:08.639
They can put napkins on the table and even clear their plate as they get older.
00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:16.879
The goal isn't to get them to taste something while they're helping, it's to let them get comfortable handling food without the pressure to eat it.
00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:24.959
Now there's other ways you can make eating easier for your child, and the first one is to make sure they're physically comfortable at the table.
00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:30.480
An uncomfortable child is less likely to enjoy or explore new foods at mealtime.
00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:36.079
Now I know this sounds trivial, but take a moment and consider what it feels like when you're sitting on a stool.
00:06:36.319 --> 00:06:41.920
Think of how uncomfortable you quickly feel without the back support or somewhere to put your feet.
00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:46.399
The same is true when your child's seating doesn't make them feel safe and secure.
00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.680
If they don't feel comfortable in their chair, they won't last long.
00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:55.040
They may be busy fidgeting and repositioning themselves instead of exploring the food on their plate.
00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:56.079
So what helps?
00:06:56.319 --> 00:07:02.399
A child's feet should be firmly supported, and their ankles, knees, and hips should be at about 90 degrees.
00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:06.800
When the chair fits, there's less fidgeting and constant repositioning.
00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:08.319
Fewer falls as well.
00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:15.360
In my ER shifts, I saw many kids who hit their head when they unintentionally push their chair over backwards.
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:23.360
So far, we've taken off the pressure, we've taken the focus off of how much your child eats, and we've made sure they're comfortable at the table.
00:07:23.519 --> 00:07:26.399
Now let's look at the skills your child needs to eat.
00:07:26.639 --> 00:07:30.480
A few years ago, I was visiting one of my kids who was living in Grenada.
00:07:30.879 --> 00:07:38.240
At many meals we were served foods I just didn't recognize, and I wasn't sure what part was edible or even how to approach eating it.
00:07:38.399 --> 00:07:40.480
So I watched the people around me.
00:07:40.639 --> 00:07:44.240
Now, imagine you've been on this planet for less than 800 days.
00:07:44.399 --> 00:07:48.639
There are going to be plenty of foods you have no idea yet how to eat.
00:07:48.879 --> 00:07:51.759
Sometimes kids need to be shown how to eat a new food.
00:07:52.000 --> 00:07:55.600
A few days ago, my granddaughter was over for lunch and we served tacos.
00:07:55.839 --> 00:08:00.639
She was confused by the hard shell and she wasn't really sure how to hold it or how to eat it.
00:08:00.800 --> 00:08:05.759
So I showed her and I explained that the shell would be crunchy and the softer food would be inside.
00:08:05.920 --> 00:08:11.040
She had been about to give up, but after some explanation, she gave it a try and she enjoyed it.
00:08:11.199 --> 00:08:12.879
And there's something else to keep in mind.
00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:18.399
Toddlers are fiercely independent, and food is one place where they can exert control.
00:08:18.639 --> 00:08:21.279
So whenever you can, offer two good choices.
00:08:21.439 --> 00:08:24.319
You might ask, do you want strawberries or blueberries?
00:08:24.480 --> 00:08:28.399
This gives them some control without turning the meal into a power struggle.
00:08:28.639 --> 00:08:33.200
It's also normal for kids to be more selective about food during the toddler years.
00:08:33.360 --> 00:08:39.039
That can make it hard to know whether you're dealing with typical food selectivity or something more persistent.
00:08:39.279 --> 00:08:45.279
We've covered some of the most common ways to help a picky eater, but of course, every child is different.
00:08:45.440 --> 00:08:49.440
Remember Leonard whose mum was sending him upstairs when he wouldn't eat his vegetables?
00:08:49.600 --> 00:08:52.639
Well, she made a few changes that made a big difference.
00:08:52.879 --> 00:08:55.279
She stopped punishing him when he didn't eat.
00:08:55.440 --> 00:09:02.240
She started using a no thank you bowl, and she brought him into my office regularly so we could keep an eye on his growth.
00:09:02.399 --> 00:09:07.200
Seeing that Leonard was growing gave his mom something she really needed, and that was reassurance.
00:09:07.360 --> 00:09:10.559
She didn't have to watch every bite or push him to eat more.
00:09:10.720 --> 00:09:13.919
She could relax a little and let him decide how much to eat.
00:09:14.080 --> 00:09:16.639
And that's a big part of helping a picky eater.
00:09:16.799 --> 00:09:27.200
Your job isn't really to make your child eat, your job is to offer the food, give them the opportunities to explore it, and make mealtimes feel as relaxed as you can.
00:09:27.360 --> 00:09:30.480
Their job is to decide whether to eat and how much.
00:09:30.720 --> 00:09:36.799
Now I know that can feel really scary, especially when you're worried your child isn't eating enough.
00:09:36.960 --> 00:09:39.759
But more pressure usually isn't the answer.
00:09:40.000 --> 00:09:42.879
So start by taking some of that pressure off.
00:09:43.039 --> 00:09:46.399
Give your child time to get comfortable with unfamiliar foods.
00:09:46.559 --> 00:09:49.440
Show them how to eat something when they're not sure.
00:09:49.600 --> 00:09:55.279
And when you can, give them a little control without turning dinner into a negotiation.
00:09:55.519 --> 00:09:57.919
Helping a picky eater takes time.
00:09:58.080 --> 00:10:00.639
You're not looking for one perfect dinner.
00:10:00.799 --> 00:10:06.159
You're helping your child become more comfortable with food over many, many meals.
00:10:06.399 --> 00:10:17.360
If you're worried about what your child is eating, their growth, or whether the picky eating is more than the typical toddler food selectivity, please have a chat with your healthcare provider.
00:10:17.519 --> 00:10:18.960
That's what they're there for.
00:10:19.279 --> 00:10:28.399
Sometimes, like Leonard's mom, having someone keep an eye on your child's growth can give you the reassurance you need to really take off the pressure.
00:10:28.639 --> 00:10:34.480
I know this is a really hard topic, but I want to encourage you, you're doing better than you think.
00:10:34.720 --> 00:10:38.320
Keep up the good work, and I'll see you next week.
00:00:06.320 --> 00:00:16.000
Have you ever wondered why offering a little kid a new food can lead to a tantrum, or why asking your child to take one more bite can end up with them actually eating less?
00:00:16.160 --> 00:00:20.160
Or maybe mealtimes just aren't the fun and loving moments you imagined.
00:00:20.320 --> 00:00:22.480
Maybe they feel more like a battlefield.
00:00:22.640 --> 00:00:28.879
Well, if your child is a picky eater, you may constantly worry about whether your child is getting enough.
00:00:29.039 --> 00:00:35.280
So let's look at some of the ways you can help a picky eater without turning every meal into a battle.
00:00:35.520 --> 00:00:37.439
Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy.
00:00:37.600 --> 00:00:38.079
I'm Dr.
00:00:38.159 --> 00:00:39.280
Catherine, your host.
00:00:39.359 --> 00:00:51.200
And for those of you who don't know me, I'm a recently retired pediatrician, mama for adult kids, amazing kids, and I've got an 82-pound golden doodle who thinks he's a lapdog.
00:00:51.439 --> 00:00:58.320
During my 40 years of pediatric practice, I saw just how stressful picky eating battles can be for families.
00:00:58.479 --> 00:01:00.640
Take Leonard and his family, for example.
00:01:00.880 --> 00:01:07.359
Leonard wouldn't eat any foods that were touching, and the only vegetables he would reliably eat were potatoes.
00:01:07.599 --> 00:01:13.040
Offer him anything else, and he'd say, no thank you, broccoli, or no thank you, corn.
00:01:13.280 --> 00:01:19.920
His mom tried everything she could think of to get him to eat vegetables, and eventually meals started to sound like this.
00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:23.439
If you don't eat any vegetables, I'm going to send you to your room.
00:01:23.680 --> 00:01:30.319
Most meals ended up with his mum taking him upstairs and saying, When you're ready to eat a few carrots, come back downstairs.
00:01:30.560 --> 00:01:32.159
Finally, his mom called me.
00:01:32.319 --> 00:01:33.760
She was at her wit's end.
00:01:34.000 --> 00:01:39.840
In fact, the younger sibling was starting to follow his older brother's lead, and that was the final straw.
00:01:40.000 --> 00:01:46.239
There are several things you can do to help a picky eater, and the first may feel a little counterintuitive.
00:01:46.480 --> 00:01:48.640
Start by taking off the pressure.
00:01:48.879 --> 00:01:56.400
Many parents will crank up the pressure when they're worried their child isn't eating enough, but adding more pressure can actually make things worse.
00:01:56.560 --> 00:02:00.400
And pressure doesn't always sound like eat your broccoli or else.
00:02:00.560 --> 00:02:02.079
It can also sound like this.
00:02:02.319 --> 00:02:06.480
You can go and play if you take one more bite of broccoli, or like this.
00:02:06.719 --> 00:02:11.039
You don't need to eat all the corn, but you do need to take three more bites.
00:02:11.199 --> 00:02:13.199
And sometimes it comes as pleading.
00:02:13.439 --> 00:02:16.400
Just take one more bite, sweetheart, please, for mummy.
00:02:16.719 --> 00:02:18.319
Do any of these sound familiar?
00:02:18.560 --> 00:02:29.199
Bargaining, bribing, and pleading are all forms of pressure, and while they come from a really loving place, they can have the opposite effect from what you've intended.
00:02:29.360 --> 00:02:34.080
Research has shown that when kids feel pressured to eat, they often eat less.
00:02:34.319 --> 00:02:44.639
We want kids to eat because they're listening to their body signals or because they're interested in the food, not because they'll get a prize, earn your approval, or avoid a punishment.
00:02:44.879 --> 00:02:46.719
So what can you do instead?
00:02:46.960 --> 00:02:53.919
The next suggestion may feel really hard, even scary, but you want to stop pressuring your child to eat more.
00:02:54.080 --> 00:03:02.240
Now, based on feeding expert Ellen Satter's division of responsibility in feeding, you and your child each have different jobs at mealtime.
00:03:02.400 --> 00:03:08.879
Your job is to decide what food is offered, when meals and snacks happen, and where your child eats.
00:03:09.120 --> 00:03:15.360
But your child's job is to decide whether to eat, what to eat from what's offered, and how much to eat.
00:03:15.520 --> 00:03:23.360
In other words, you decide what, when, and where meals happen, and your child decides whether and how much to eat.
00:03:23.520 --> 00:03:25.199
And that's the hardest part.
00:03:25.439 --> 00:03:31.280
You're giving up the job of nudging your child to eat and letting them decide how much their body needs.
00:03:31.520 --> 00:03:35.840
Well you're probably thinking, but if I leave it up to my child, he won't eat anything.
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:40.639
I heard this all the time in my office, and it's really an understandable worry.
00:03:40.800 --> 00:03:47.759
But once your child realizes you're not going to argue, bargain, or pressure them to eat, mealtimes start to feel safer.
00:03:47.919 --> 00:03:54.400
And this gives your child more room to explore food and pay attention to their own hunger and fullness signals.
00:03:54.560 --> 00:03:56.400
Now this doesn't happen overnight.
00:03:56.560 --> 00:04:00.960
It takes time for both you and your child to adjust to a different way of doing meals.
00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:04.240
And here's something that can help you during this transition.
00:04:04.639 --> 00:04:13.280
Rather than worrying about what your child is eating at one meal, zoom out and instead look at what your child eats over the course of a week.
00:04:13.439 --> 00:04:17.680
Now this may sound great in theory, but what does it look like in real life?
00:04:17.839 --> 00:04:21.439
Well, you put the dinner on the table and your child says, gross.
00:04:21.920 --> 00:04:27.199
Well, instead of trying to convince them otherwise, you can simply say, you don't have to eat it, sweetheart.
00:04:27.360 --> 00:04:29.680
Or your child says, I hate broccoli.
00:04:29.839 --> 00:04:32.319
Well, you can say, we all like different things.
00:04:32.480 --> 00:04:34.879
You don't need to convince them to take a bite.
00:04:35.120 --> 00:04:37.600
Your job isn't to get broccoli into their mouth.
00:04:37.759 --> 00:04:41.759
Your focus is on creating a relaxed, healthy mealtime.
00:04:42.000 --> 00:04:46.399
Now, when my granddaughter was younger, her parents gave her a no thank you bowl.
00:04:46.480 --> 00:04:50.480
If there was something on her plate she didn't want to eat, she could put it in the bowl.
00:04:50.720 --> 00:04:53.839
She didn't have to eat it or leave it sitting on her plate.
00:04:54.000 --> 00:04:58.959
There was a lot less fighting and playing with food after the no thank you bowl was introduced.
00:04:59.120 --> 00:05:03.439
I've suggested this to many families in my practice and they found it helpful too.
00:05:03.759 --> 00:05:08.079
So the first step to help a picky eater is to take off the pressure.
00:05:08.240 --> 00:05:12.399
The next thing you can do is to take the focus off what your child is eating.
00:05:12.560 --> 00:05:20.800
So when you can, eat meals together as a family, and rather than making the conversation about what your child is or isn't eating, talk about your day.
00:05:20.879 --> 00:05:24.000
Or ask your kids something like, what was the best part of the day?
00:05:24.160 --> 00:05:30.879
The idea is to make dinner about being together, having fun, and sharing, instead of monitoring every bite.
00:05:31.040 --> 00:05:36.800
When my kids were little, we couldn't always sit down together every night, but Friday night was family night.
00:05:36.959 --> 00:05:43.199
And 36 years later, my kids still come home on Friday nights, now with their partners and kids of their own.
00:05:43.439 --> 00:05:46.240
Kids also learn about eating just by watching you.
00:05:46.399 --> 00:05:52.399
There's no lectures needed or finger wagging, they're learning from watching what you eat and how you eat it.
00:05:52.639 --> 00:05:57.839
Another way to help is to let your child spend time around food without asking them to eat it.
00:05:58.000 --> 00:06:04.240
Young children can toss the salad, tear the lettuce, paint on cooking oil, or stir the sauce.
00:06:04.480 --> 00:06:08.639
They can put napkins on the table and even clear their plate as they get older.
00:06:08.879 --> 00:06:16.879
The goal isn't to get them to taste something while they're helping, it's to let them get comfortable handling food without the pressure to eat it.
00:06:17.120 --> 00:06:24.959
Now there's other ways you can make eating easier for your child, and the first one is to make sure they're physically comfortable at the table.
00:06:25.279 --> 00:06:30.480
An uncomfortable child is less likely to enjoy or explore new foods at mealtime.
00:06:30.639 --> 00:06:36.079
Now I know this sounds trivial, but take a moment and consider what it feels like when you're sitting on a stool.
00:06:36.319 --> 00:06:41.920
Think of how uncomfortable you quickly feel without the back support or somewhere to put your feet.
00:06:42.079 --> 00:06:46.399
The same is true when your child's seating doesn't make them feel safe and secure.
00:06:46.560 --> 00:06:49.680
If they don't feel comfortable in their chair, they won't last long.
00:06:49.839 --> 00:06:55.040
They may be busy fidgeting and repositioning themselves instead of exploring the food on their plate.
00:06:55.199 --> 00:06:56.079
So what helps?
00:06:56.319 --> 00:07:02.399
A child's feet should be firmly supported, and their ankles, knees, and hips should be at about 90 degrees.
00:07:02.639 --> 00:07:06.800
When the chair fits, there's less fidgeting and constant repositioning.
00:07:07.040 --> 00:07:08.319
Fewer falls as well.
00:07:08.480 --> 00:07:15.360
In my ER shifts, I saw many kids who hit their head when they unintentionally push their chair over backwards.
00:07:15.600 --> 00:07:23.360
So far, we've taken off the pressure, we've taken the focus off of how much your child eats, and we've made sure they're comfortable at the table.
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Now let's look at the skills your child needs to eat.
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A few years ago, I was visiting one of my kids who was living in Grenada.
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At many meals we were served foods I just didn't recognize, and I wasn't sure what part was edible or even how to approach eating it.
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So I watched the people around me.
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Now, imagine you've been on this planet for less than 800 days.
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There are going to be plenty of foods you have no idea yet how to eat.
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Sometimes kids need to be shown how to eat a new food.
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A few days ago, my granddaughter was over for lunch and we served tacos.
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She was confused by the hard shell and she wasn't really sure how to hold it or how to eat it.
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So I showed her and I explained that the shell would be crunchy and the softer food would be inside.
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She had been about to give up, but after some explanation, she gave it a try and she enjoyed it.
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And there's something else to keep in mind.
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Toddlers are fiercely independent, and food is one place where they can exert control.
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So whenever you can, offer two good choices.
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You might ask, do you want strawberries or blueberries?
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This gives them some control without turning the meal into a power struggle.
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It's also normal for kids to be more selective about food during the toddler years.
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That can make it hard to know whether you're dealing with typical food selectivity or something more persistent.
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We've covered some of the most common ways to help a picky eater, but of course, every child is different.
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Remember Leonard whose mum was sending him upstairs when he wouldn't eat his vegetables?
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Well, she made a few changes that made a big difference.
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She stopped punishing him when he didn't eat.
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She started using a no thank you bowl, and she brought him into my office regularly so we could keep an eye on his growth.
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Seeing that Leonard was growing gave his mom something she really needed, and that was reassurance.
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She didn't have to watch every bite or push him to eat more.
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She could relax a little and let him decide how much to eat.
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And that's a big part of helping a picky eater.
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Your job isn't really to make your child eat, your job is to offer the food, give them the opportunities to explore it, and make mealtimes feel as relaxed as you can.
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Their job is to decide whether to eat and how much.
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Now I know that can feel really scary, especially when you're worried your child isn't eating enough.
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But more pressure usually isn't the answer.
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So start by taking some of that pressure off.
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Give your child time to get comfortable with unfamiliar foods.
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Show them how to eat something when they're not sure.
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And when you can, give them a little control without turning dinner into a negotiation.
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Helping a picky eater takes time.
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You're not looking for one perfect dinner.
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You're helping your child become more comfortable with food over many, many meals.
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If you're worried about what your child is eating, their growth, or whether the picky eating is more than the typical toddler food selectivity, please have a chat with your healthcare provider.
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That's what they're there for.
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Sometimes, like Leonard's mom, having someone keep an eye on your child's growth can give you the reassurance you need to really take off the pressure.
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I know this is a really hard topic, but I want to encourage you, you're doing better than you think.
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Keep up the good work, and I'll see you next week.
