How to Bring Her More Pleasure, Know Her Anatomy

Anne Truong:
00:00:00
This podcast is for you, the Modern Man. I'm Dr Anne



Anne Truong:
00:00:04
Truong, your host. I'm an intimate health medical doctor



Anne Truong:
00:00:08
and best selling author of the book, Erectile Dysfunction Fix.



Anne Truong:
00:00:11
I'll do a deep dive into sexual health and performance and how



Anne Truong:
00:00:15
it affects men of all ages and backgrounds. So let's get



Anne Truong:
00:00:18
started, and be sure to visit my website at



Anne Truong:
00:00:21
sexualhealthformenpodcast.com for more information and



Anne Truong:
00:00:24
resources from the show. See you on the inside.



Anne Truong:
00:00:37
Hello there, Modern Man. In today's episode, I have a



Anne Truong:
00:00:41
special guest, Dr. Carolyn DeLucia. She is a world renowned



Anne Truong:
00:00:46
OBGYN, vagina guru, and widely published author and worldwide



Anne Truong:
00:00:55
speaker, and also a very good friend but an excellent doctor.



Anne Truong:
00:00:59
And today, we're going to dive deep into the female pleasure



Anne Truong:
00:01:05
system, and it will be a learning experience for me, and



Anne Truong:
00:01:09
I hope it will learning experience for you, because this



Anne Truong:
00:01:12
is a channel Sexual Health for Men. But we need to know about



Anne Truong:
00:01:17
the female pleasure system and how it goes, because it's



Anne Truong:
00:01:22
actually more complex than we think. So today we're going to



Anne Truong:
00:01:26
learn from Dr delusion on what we need to know about the female



Anne Truong:
00:01:31
pleasure system. Welcome, Carolyn. I am so glad you are



Anne Truong:
00:01:36
here in our channel and there's your cat in the camera.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:01:42
Hello and I have my pussycat.



Anne Truong:
00:01:46
Other known as your pussy cat, lovely, lovely,



Anne Truong:
00:01:50
lovely. That's a good introduction to cat as a pussy



Anne Truong:
00:01:53
cat. So, so let's just dive deep into it. Now. What is your



Anne Truong:
00:01:57
experience of men being knowledgeable about the female



Anne Truong:
00:02:02
intimacy, pleasure, orgasm system.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:05
Well, I think that the basics are



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:10
communication. And every partner, any good man, wants to



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:18
please his woman. And it's a sense of connection, and it



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:26
really in any good partner, it brings him huge satisfaction and



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:34
his own personal arousal when he has pleased his woman. So as far



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:42
as any male understanding the female intimate nature, it just



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:49
takes communication and two ways. We are talking to the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:02:55
women too and being open with their men to help really know



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:03:02
how to please each other.



Anne Truong:
00:03:05
Okay, so that's a big word, how to please each



Anne Truong:
00:03:09
other. Both you and I treat sexual dysfunction for both men



Anne Truong:
00:03:13
and women, and often time it is almost like there's a lot of



Anne Truong:
00:03:18
miscommunication. There's an almost like you have to kind of



Anne Truong:
00:03:21
teach anatomy again. So what does a man need to know about



Anne Truong:
00:03:27
getting a female to pleasure.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:03:29
Absolutely. A lot. They've got to learn a lot.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:03:33
Wait a minute, let me find my clitoris. Wait, where is it? Oh,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:03:38
here it is.



Anne Truong:
00:03:45
You had me there.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:03:46
This is a model of the female clitoris. And what



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:03:51
I really want to show is the full anatomy. There's a lot



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:03:58
more. This is the little tip of the clitoris that we can see in



Anne Truong:
00:03:59
I love that, and it's individualized, but there's



Anne Truong:
00:04:05
female anatomy. But behind the scenes, there's a whole lot



Anne Truong:
00:04:12
more. And what this shows to men is that beyond the tip of our



Anne Truong:
00:04:19
clitoris, which, by the way, has 8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings,



Anne Truong:
00:04:26
versus the analogous head of a penis that holds 4,000 nerve



Anne Truong:
00:04:33
endings. I'm going to pause there for a second. You know



Anne Truong:
00:04:40
why? Because you did hear me correctly. The clitoris has



Anne Truong:
00:04:46
8,000 to 10,000 nerve endings. And the head of a penis has



Anne Truong:
00:04:53
4000. So, gentlemen, the clitoris is very, very



Anne Truong:
00:04:59
sensitive, and it does govern a woman's sexual response. But



Anne Truong:
00:05:06
beyond the tip, there's the full length of the analogous



Anne Truong:
00:05:12
structures, which are the crura and the vestibular bulbs. The



Anne Truong:
00:05:19
vestibular bulbs are very similar to the prostate gland,



Anne Truong:
00:05:26
and they open up right next to this would be the urethra in



Anne Truong:
00:05:33
this area here, and this is where the vaginal opening would



Anne Truong:
00:05:40
be. So the urethra has two tiny little openings right next to



Anne Truong:
00:05:47
it, that are the skin's glands, that are the opening of our



Anne Truong:
00:05:54
vestibular bulbs, which are actually going to secrete some



Anne Truong:
00:06:00
form of what would be similar to an ejaculate when a woman is



Anne Truong:
00:06:07
appropriately aroused and reaches orgasm. That's different



Anne Truong:
00:06:14
than vaginal lubrication. Vaginal lubrication is from



Anne Truong:
00:06:20
increased blood flow to the area with arousal that then allows



Anne Truong:
00:06:28
secretions into the full vaginal vault. And all of this takes



Anne Truong:
00:06:35
place with intimacy and with appropriate arousal techniques,



Anne Truong:
00:06:42
and that's different, woman to woman, partner to partner, and



Anne Truong:
00:06:49
it's how the two of you interact and learn from each other.



Anne Truong:
00:06:59
also some time discrepancy. How long does it take for a woman to



Anne Truong:
00:07:03
be aroused compared to a man?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:06
Well, it can vary quite a bit, but it does



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:11
take, on average, around 10 minutes to do the whole arousal



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:19
stage, which is otherwise colloquially known as foreplay.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:27
And sometimes it takes 24 hours, which means it starts in the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:31
morning, which means it begins with a cup of coffee and and how



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:37
you treat that woman all day long. A woman is not as easy as



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:45
a switch. So if, in all sincerity, if there's been an



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:51
argument in the day and it has not been appropriately resolved,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:07:59
a woman is not going to be a sexy pussy cat in the evening



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:06
that has to be resolved as part of the foreplay, and then the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:12
strict foreplay in the bedroom Is that arousal period of which



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:19
you speak, in which is the stimulation of the tip of the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:28
clitoris, which then allows the entire area to be infused with



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:34
blood. Gentlemen, this clitoris area here is analogous to the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:41
full shaft of the penis, and women get engorged and erect,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:50
just like a man, and that requires blood flow, and that



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:08:56
blood flow requires appropriate arousal. Some women like it



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:02
soft. Some women like it aroused in circles. Some women like it



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:08
up and down. And there's nothing wrong with asking. Babe, do you



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:13
like it this way? Do you like it this way? Do you like it a



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:17
little bit of both? Do you like it firm? Do you like it soft?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:22
It's how that touch is required, per that woman in what it takes



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:32
to get the nerves and the blood flowing.



Anne Truong:
00:09:36
Okay, so does every woman need to have clitoral



Anne Truong:
00:09:40
stimulation? What about like vaginal stimulation?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:45
Okay, that's a very delicate question, and what



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:51
most of us in this realm, this educated in sexual therapy,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:09:58
believe. Is that in all sincerity, even stimulation at



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:04
the G spot, which would be in this area, inside the vagina,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:11
below the urethra, in the midline, somewhere about one to



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:18
four centimeters in on a vaginal wall will be the G spot. Every



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:26
single woman has a G spot. Some of the understanding nowadays is



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:34
that it's sort of an extension of the clitoris in the realm of



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:41
the urethra, soft tissue that surrounds that area in the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:48
vagina, giving it more sensation. I will say every



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:10:54
single woman has this anatomical region. Some find it an



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:01
erogenous zone. Some don't much like kissing the nape of the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:07
neck or stimulating the nipples. Some women, you can play with



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:12
their nipples all day long. It doesn't arouse them. Some women



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:18
you can kiss their neck up and down. It doesn't arouse them.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:22
Some go nuts, right? You just touch their neck, and they are



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:27
aroused, excited and just ready to move on other women, it



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:34
doesn't so Is it their erogenous zone? If the g spot in the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:41
anterior wall is an erogenous zone, then vaginal stimulation



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:48
and appropriate and or appropriate stretch of the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:11:55
vaginal vault with penetration of the penis will stimulate that



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:12:01
area and allow for arousal and or a vaginal orgasm. My



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:12:13
understanding, my downright personal experience, let's face



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:12:18
it, is that with the appropriate fit, which is the size of the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:12:26
penis, the angle of penetration, with an appropriate foreplay. So



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:12:34
we are talking now if you've heard all the stipulations, the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:12:40
sun, the moon, the stars, the planets, all aligning in the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:12:50
perfect circumstances, which occur 20% of women, meaning 80%



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:13:01
of the time that alignment is not gonna happen, then a vaginal



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:13:08
orgasm is pretty special. But with all the perfect alignment



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:13:15
and communication, vaginal orgasms are very possible.



Anne Truong:
00:13:21
Yeah, what you're saying is that vaginal orgasm



Anne Truong:
00:13:24
are not as frequent or easy as clitoral?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:13:28
Exactly.



Anne Truong:
00:13:31
And I myself totally agree with that. Maybe



Anne Truong:
00:13:33
too much TMI, but I think the vaginal orgasm for me, is



Anne Truong:
00:13:37
probably very little compared to that as well. So because you had



Anne Truong:
00:13:42
everything has to align, like you said, the pressure, the



Anne Truong:
00:13:44
size, lubrication.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:13:47
The moment. Everything, and that's tricky.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:13:53
There are very few women who have vaginal orgasms every time.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:13:59
The key, even then, is that the clitoris is involved. That's the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:05
bottom line. And again, if you're noticing this entire



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:11
anatomy, the vagina wraps around it, no matter what vaginal



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:17
penetration involves, having the entire clitoris involved, no



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:26
matter how you shape it. So when this is pulled appropriately,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:33
the tip comes down, gets stimulated with penetration. I



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:40
don't mean to be so graphic, but I think it's making a point, if



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:44
you know what I'm saying, and that's what's going on. No



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:50
matter how you shape it, the clitoris is going to be



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:14:55
involved.



Anne Truong:
00:14:56
So the clitoris really kind of wraps around the



Anne Truong:
00:14:59
vaginal the top and on the side. That's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:03
correct. So this entire anatomy, this is the



Unknown:
00:15:03
So what's the role of the vestibular bulb? The funny



Unknown:
00:15:07
vagina overlapping it. Does that make sense?



Unknown:
00:15:16
looking like legs.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:18
It holds blood flow and secretions, and help



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:26
women to ejaculate. Now, ejaculation and squirting are



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:33
not necessarily the same thing. Women will always ejaculate,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:41
which will be a small amount of fluid coming from the Skene's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:46
glands. Some women have abundant fluid coming from the Skene's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:51
glands and the urethra. Some of those secretions, when analyzed



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:15:59
in clinical data, have shown not to be urine at all. They are



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:05
very chemically identical to the secretions from a prostate



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:11
gland. So they are truly ejaculate, as in a male.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:18
Everything about a female is analogous to the male.



Anne Truong:
00:16:22
So the vestibule gland, does that secrete PSA?



Anne Truong:
00:16:26
Because it's like analysis to the prostate?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:29
Yes.



Anne Truong:
00:16:29
Oh, so she can secrete. She can also have a PSA



Anne Truong:
00:16:32
level as well, too.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:34
Well. I don't know if we don't measure women's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:38
PSA, but that's an interesting question. I don't know if that's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:43
ever been asked, Anne.



Anne Truong:
00:16:45
I know. See, maybe somebody should look into that,



Anne Truong:
00:16:48
because it is analogous to the prostate gland.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:16:53
Oh, there's no doubt about it.



Anne Truong:
00:16:55
Yeah, as analog to the prostate gland, when you



Anne Truong:
00:16:57
mentioned that is almost the same chemical as the prostate,



Anne Truong:
00:17:01
prostate fluid without the sperm, of course, and then



Anne Truong:
00:17:06
there's got to be some PSA. Just the first thought I have there.



Anne Truong:
00:17:11
And maybe.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:13
I've never looked at it, and I love these



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:16
kinds of questions that come up, because looking at hormone



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:20
therapy, we can talk in depth about metabolites and measuring



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:25
those in men and women and the dangers of those. So these are



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:31
questions that come up from us thinking and discussing these



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:35
things.



Anne Truong:
00:17:35
I so appreciate you showing us the anatomy. Because



Anne Truong:
00:17:39
the anatomy, 98% of the female anatomy is hidden. Especially



Anne Truong:
00:17:44
the clitoris.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:45
Exactly. Depicting, allowing them to see



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:48
that this is the tip, and this is where the vagina opening



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:52
would be, and everything else is behind the scenes and arousable.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:17:59
What this means is that these crura that hide along the side



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:18:05
of the vaginal labia, the space between the labia minora and



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:18:12
labia majora, are also very, very sensually arousable and



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:18:20
often ignored. So the area between the labia is a very



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:18:27
sensitive and sensual area to engage.



Anne Truong:
00:18:33
So guys, listen to that. Take note. So women have



Anne Truong:
00:18:36
two labia, the labia majora, which is the bigger area, and



Anne Truong:
00:18:40
then there's a smaller one called labia minora, more often



Anne Truong:
00:18:43
referred to as the lips, but the space between there, that's



Anne Truong:
00:18:47
where the crura. Is that right?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:18:49
Yeah, just getting through my book, I'm



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:18:53
trying to find the one and only picture I have in the book,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:18:58
which is the external female genitalia, because so much is



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:19:06
not understood. And men, you're not alone. Women don't



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:19:10
understand their own anatomy. Trust me, I'm a gynecologist,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:19:15
and I have to show women what's what down there too. So it's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:19:19
just helpful to understand the labia majora versus the labia



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:19:25
minora versus the Skene's glands versus the Bartholin's gland



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:19:30
openings, all different areas of our very intricate anatomy.



Anne Truong:
00:19:38
So what's the role of the Bartholin's glands,



Anne Truong:
00:19:40
which, show us where the Bartholin's glands are at.



Anne Truong:
00:19:43
The Bartholin's glands are way down here. They secrete a teeny



Anne Truong:
00:19:50
weeny bit of mucousy type of discharge. They are not the same



Anne Truong:
00:19:57
as vaginal lubrication. Now, vaginal lubrication is what we



Anne Truong:
00:20:03
in the scientific world called an exudate, which is a secretion



Anne Truong:
00:20:09
from the entire length of the vagina. It's a moisture that



Anne Truong:
00:20:15
comes out from the full length of the vaginal vault, from the



Anne Truong:
00:20:20
blood flow to the area. So when women become menopausal, meaning



Anne Truong:
00:20:26
not making estrogen anymore, we lose our estrogenic support to



Anne Truong:
00:20:36
the blood flow to the vaginal vault. What that means is



Anne Truong:
00:20:42
without estrogen, over time, the tissues of the vagina



Anne Truong:
00:20:48
continuously change and thin out and dry out. So gentlemen, I



Anne Truong:
00:20:58
want you to understand your women that when we are



Anne Truong:
00:21:02
menopausal and not treated, because Dr. Anne will treat your



Anne Truong:
00:21:09
women as well to make sure that they can maintain their blood



Anne Truong:
00:21:15
flow to the vagina, and that will enable them to lubricate.



Anne Truong:
00:21:21
But if not, it feels like having sex with a cactus. Not joking,



Anne Truong:
00:21:29
it will feel horrible, like a hairbrush, the bristles of a



Anne Truong:
00:21:35
hairbrush, and it becomes agonizing. That is not pleasant,



Anne Truong:
00:21:42
and they will try to avoid it, pretend they're asleep, tell you



Anne Truong:
00:21:49
to go elsewhere. They don't mean either. They're just in so much



Anne Truong:
00:21:54
discomfort they can't even emotionally go there. I saw a 73



Anne Truong:
00:22:01
year old woman today, and it broke my heart because she came



Anne Truong:
00:22:06
to me and said, Finally, I found you. For the past 10 to 15



Anne Truong:
00:22:13
years, I've been asking my gynecologist to help me with my



Anne Truong:
00:22:20
ability to tolerate intercourse, I can't tolerate it. I no longer



Anne Truong:
00:22:28
want it because I fear the pain, but I love my husband, and I



Anne Truong:
00:22:33
want to get back to that intimacy. But my doctor kept on



Anne Truong:
00:22:39
telling me, oh, forget about it. You're past all that. That's not



Anne Truong:
00:22:44
right. There's no need for us to ever be past all that, if we as



Anne Truong:
00:22:52
partners are not at the same place. In other words, if Dr.



Anne Truong:
00:22:57
Truong has treated you successfully to maintain your



Anne Truong:
00:23:03
erections and be able to enjoy intimacy, if it's on your own,



Anne Truong:
00:23:10
then allow her to treat your partner and make Her able to



Anne Truong:
00:23:17
enjoy this intimate moment together. Right?



Anne Truong:
00:23:22
Absolutely. One of my passion for the men is that painful



Anne Truong:
00:23:26
intercourse for a woman in menopause should not happen. It



Anne Truong:
00:23:30
is reversible, easily correctable, yes, just a topical



Anne Truong:
00:23:37
or even a lubricant. Even be non hormonal, just a topical hormone



Anne Truong:
00:23:42
that will actually reverse it within days, right? I mean, I



Anne Truong:
00:23:46
see my patient feeling better within 3 to 5 days, with just



Anne Truong:
00:23:50
some topical estrogen, with some DHEA, and even non hormonal,



Anne Truong:
00:23:55
using platelet rich plasma to just bring in more blood flow,



Anne Truong:
00:23:59
more lubrication to the area. But no woman should be suffering



Anne Truong:
00:24:06
from sandpaper or intercourse. You feel like you know, a



Anne Truong:
00:24:11
hairbrush brushing against this. It should not be uncomfortable.



Anne Truong:
00:24:15
it's correctable. So guys, if you're listening to this, tell



Anne Truong:
00:24:20
your partner, tell somebody you know that is in menopause.



Anne Truong:
00:24:23
Usually women in menopause ranges between even as late as



Anne Truong:
00:24:28
early as mid 40 to even 60 is the range. Menopause means that



Anne Truong:
00:24:33
they're not having their period anymore for one year. But



Anne Truong:
00:24:37
oftentimes women don't realize that. They don't realize that



Anne Truong:
00:24:40
their hormones is what changes in the hormone is what is



Anne Truong:
00:24:44
causing the discomfort. Oftentimes, unfortunately, they



Anne Truong:
00:24:47
blame themselves, right? Yeah, they blame themselves for having



Anne Truong:
00:24:53
the pain. It's like they don't know what they don't know. And



Anne Truong:
00:24:56
they're like, Well, I guess must be getting old. My body is not



Anne Truong:
00:25:00
liking sex anymore, so I just have to accept that. Right?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:04
No, don't accept it. And it doesn't have



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:07
to be that way. Similar to how gentlemen, should never think



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:12
that it's necessary to experience erectile dysfunction.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:18
We have so many solutions for the treatment of erectile



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:23
dysfunction, as we have treatment for any of the vaginal



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:29
issues women encounter the vaginal dryness and discomfort



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:35
with sex is the only symptom of menopause that gets worse over



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:40
time, if untreated, compared to any other symptom, the hot



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:46
flashes, the night sweats, the terrible mood swings, all of



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:51
those mellow out despite any treatment, However, vaginal



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:25:59
discomfort atrophy, as we call it, which is the continual



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:04
change in the tissues will get worse, if unaddressed over time,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:11
making it more and more impossible to endure vaginal



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:18
penetration and eventually the pain is enough to turn off any



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:24
desire, because they're so afraid of the pain they don't



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:28
want you to even touch that super sensitive tip of the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:32
clitoris anymore, because they're afraid of where it might



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:36
lead, and they don't even want to have an orgasm anymore.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:43
Imagine that how unnecessary that any of us should have to go



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:50
through life loving our partner and unable to engage in



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:26:56
intimacy?



Anne Truong:
00:26:58
Oh, yes. And in fact, Dr. DeLucia wrote two



Anne Truong:
00:27:01
books. The first one is Ultimate Intimacy. There you're go. You



Anne Truong:
00:27:07
can find that on Amazon. And I'll put the link to her book



Anne Truong:
00:27:11
and the episode description. The second book is Ultimate



Anne Truong:
00:27:15
Connection, there you go. And I'll put that link as well, too.



Anne Truong:
00:27:21
And that's one of her many books. And take it from her. She



Anne Truong:
00:27:27
knows because she, we are both very passionate about treating



Anne Truong:
00:27:30
sexual health, because we know that is a real, a big component



Anne Truong:
00:27:34
of intimacy and relationship.



Anne Truong:
00:27:37
Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't have to



Anne Truong:
00:27:41
suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and even



Anne Truong:
00:27:46
defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the weight of



Anne Truong:
00:27:51
not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But here's the



Anne Truong:
00:27:55
truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You don't have to



Anne Truong:
00:28:00
figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now Boost Program



Anne Truong:
00:28:06
is your step by step, path to sexual confidence and



Anne Truong:
00:28:11
restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more trial and



Anne Truong:
00:28:15
error, just real solution, real result and the confidence you



Anne Truong:
00:28:20
deserve. It's time to take back your power on your term. Let's



Anne Truong:
00:28:25
get this journey started together. Check out the course



Anne Truong:
00:28:29
at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you there.



Anne Truong:
00:28:33
I just want to backtrack a little bit, and you said earlier



Anne Truong:
00:28:37
that ejaculate and squirting are different. What is the



Anne Truong:
00:28:41
difference?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:28:42
Okay, so squirting is an involuntary



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:28:47
excretion of abundant fluid coming from the Skene's and



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:28:54
urethra in women, and that women cannot control or stop. But it's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:01
abundant, typically, more than just a few drops. Every woman



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:07
and orgasm will be secreting something from the Skene's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:12
glands. And if you actually during a really strong orgasm,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:19
if a woman feels either side of the urethra. You can feel a



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:24
pulsation going on in that area, and that is just like an



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:31
ejaculation in a male.



Anne Truong:
00:29:33
So it comes from the same orifice, same opening,



Anne Truong:
00:29:37
that's correct, and squirting is just more volume?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:41
That's correct.



Anne Truong:
00:29:42
But the same fluid?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:43
Yes, very similar.



Anne Truong:
00:29:45
Very similar. Now, does all women squirt?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:49
All women have the potential to squirt? Yes.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:54
With appropriate arousal and enough stimulation of that



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:29:59
anterior wall of the vagina. As a matter of fact, a friend of



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:30:02
ours, Dr. Charles Runnels, has written a book on guiding women



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:30:08
just how to make that happen. So do refer them there.



Anne Truong:
00:30:13
Exactly, and I'll link that book too. It's also on



Anne Truong:
00:30:17
Amazon as well. So having said that, and I've actually learned



Anne Truong:
00:30:21
something, and you've explained it so well. And between the



Anne Truong:
00:30:24
Bartholin's glands and the Skene's glands. If I learned



Anne Truong:
00:30:27
something, imagine all men. How, you know, I mean, just looking



Anne Truong:
00:30:32
at the anatomy, you show the vulva everybody, that's a



Anne Truong:
00:30:35
familiar thing, but a lot of the anatomy is really behind the



Anne Truong:
00:30:40
labia. How can I get the male has to kind of know the anatomy



Anne Truong:
00:30:45
and get your book and follow along?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:30:50
Practice makes perfect.



Anne Truong:
00:30:52
That's right. So what advice you have to our



Anne Truong:
00:30:56
listeners, who are 98% men, on how to arouse and get their



Anne Truong:
00:31:05
woman to that orgasmic state.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:09
The biggest thing is to pay attention to her



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:14
body language, and I believe that women will show signs. If,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:22
men, she's laying there like a locks, doing nothing, something



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:28
must not be happening. Now I'm going to say that the woman has



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:36
to be present, meaning that mentally and physically, she has



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:43
to be willing to be a participant. But if she is and



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:48
she loves you, then when you begin to see her moving along



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:31:55
with your advances and her body is responding, then you know



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:02
that you are doing the correct thing. And when she postures



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:08
more as if she is getting closer to that orgasmic level with



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:14
maybe the head back, the eyes closing, all of those signs, you



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:21
know you're right on the right path, and keep doing what you're



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:25
doing. Don't stop. Don't stop. And hopefully she's willing to



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:31
communicate back to you how well you're doing. I do understand



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:37
that for women, when we are stimulating our man, and there's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:42
success in that, that we have an outward sign from you,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:47
obviously, there's an obvious ejaculate, and that is a sign to



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:52
us that we have accomplished what we have been seeking. And



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:32:57
for gentlemen, there isn't as obvious a sign from their woman,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:33:04
but when she is truly involved and present and responding to



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:33:12
you, it's hard to fake it. You know the difference once you've



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:33:16
been with a woman long enough.



Anne Truong:
00:33:18
And if you are going to talk about the



Anne Truong:
00:33:21
erogenous zone for women, let's kind of teach our men now to be



Anne Truong:
00:33:25
the Casanova. Let's hit the erogenous zone. Woman kind of in



Anne Truong:
00:33:31
the mood and ready. What would be those steps?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:33:35
Okay, so I think the very first step now



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:33:39
some women like you to be approaching the genitalia right



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:33:45
away, but some women don't mind a little gentle touch, which



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:33:52
every bit of our body is truly an exogenous zone. So even



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:00
starting at the temples and rubbing the temples and just



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:05
relaxing her, rubbing her forehead, working your way down.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:11
And you can judge if they're ready for you to touch more



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:17
intimate areas, meaning the breast, and working your way



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:22
down to the genitalia, but you have to be the connoisseur of



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:28
your own woman and understand what steps she's ready for.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:34
Should she be ready for clitoral stimulation? As I mentioned



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:39
earlier, don't be shy to try to understand what type of touch



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:47
she needs. A simple question, do you like it firm? Do you like it



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:52
gentle? What helps you more? And those types of communications in



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:34:59
that moment? Show you care, like my little doggy.



Anne Truong:
00:35:07
First we have your cat. Now we have your dog.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:35:13
Thank goodness it's not my 19 chickens.



Anne Truong:
00:35:17
That's coming up. That's coming up, right? Yeah,



Anne Truong:
00:35:24
that's what makes it so fun. You never know what shows up when



Anne Truong:
00:35:28
you're talking to Caroline. Yeah, you have her dog now on



Anne Truong:
00:35:35
this. So we're definitely going to keep that in the podcast.



Anne Truong:
00:35:40
That's what the fun part about that. All right, so listen to



Anne Truong:
00:35:43
your women, ask her what she would like. Every woman is



Anne Truong:
00:35:48
different, and every woman is unique. And go slow. And I heard



Anne Truong:
00:35:54
from you at the beginning of our discussion, was that foreplay



Anne Truong:
00:35:57
could even take 24 hours, at the beginning of the day.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:01
You got it. We're not a switch, we're not



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:04
easy to turn on and off.



Anne Truong:
00:36:07
Right, right. We're not a switch, we're not easy to



Anne Truong:
00:36:10
turn off. I kind of also hear from you is that you got the



Anne Truong:
00:36:13
vaginal lubrication, then you also have the ejaculate as well.



Anne Truong:
00:36:20
So there's a lot fluid and lubrication going on?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:24
Yes, absolutely. And if it ever feels



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:28
like the friction sometimes gentlemen like penetration,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:32
maybe before a woman is quite ready. In that scenario, the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:37
next step is to definitely use a lubricant. Don't be shy about



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:43
that. Absolutely not. And there are wonderful lubricants on the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:48
market. One of my favorite is Uberlube, and it's very nice



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:52
consistency, disappears after quite, it's very comfortable,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:36:58
and not messy. And with that, it's a wonderful way to ease



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:06
comfort with penetration and not make it uncomfortable. Should



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:12
that friction be required for longer than the woman is able to



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:17
naturally maintain sometimes, as gentlemen get older, they have



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:22
what we call delayed ejaculate, and there's nothing wrong with



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:26
that. And certainly, as a loving partner, you don't mind being



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:32
involved for the longer period of time, as long as it's



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:35
comfortable for both of you. So a little lubricant goes a long



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:37:40
way.



Anne Truong:
00:37:41
Right. I love that, and I also recommend Uberlube.



Anne Truong:
00:37:44
And we'll also put that link for Uberlube as well. I want to



Anne Truong:
00:37:48
touch briefly on when we were talking about a very serious



Anne Truong:
00:37:53
subject that you and I are very passionate about, is that



Anne Truong:
00:37:55
discomfort with intercourse for women, which is treatable. So



Anne Truong:
00:38:00
for the listeners that are listening to this, what are some



Anne Truong:
00:38:02
treatment that are available for women to get rid of that



Anne Truong:
00:38:06
sandpaper field, that discomfort field, that they can go talk to



Anne Truong:
00:38:11
their doctor and get treatment for?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:13
The number one standard of care in the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:16
gynecological world is local estrogen or local DHEA. Both of



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:25
there are several products on the market that are FDA approved



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:30
and covered by insurance that will at least be able to be used



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:37
locally. However, are they my favorite? No because we have to



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:43
balance the dose with systemic absorption. So some women would



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:51
require a lot higher dose than what actually would help their



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:38:57
tissues in order to achieve that success. So then it might get



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:04
into their bloodstream, which is not desired. So when that



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:10
happens, women, despite the use of the local hormone, may still



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:15
be uncomfortable. That's when all of the non traditional



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:20
treatments offered by doctors like myself, which would be



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:25
functional gynecologist, regenerative gynecologist,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:29
aesthetic gynecologist. We have many names these days, but we



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:35
have alternative therapies such as low intensity extracorporeal



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:41
shockwave, lasers, either CO2 or erbium, we have radio frequency,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:50
painless devices that can treat the tissues, as well as all the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:39:57
regenerative procedures, such as PRP, exosomes, etc, protein



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:40:06
concentrate. There are many evolutions of regenerative



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:40:10
procedures these days that we can use to replenish the blood



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:40:16
supply and integrity of the tissues.



Anne Truong:
00:40:18
Absolutely. First, topical, DHEA and estrogen.



Anne Truong:
00:40:24
Well, estrogen, you can't get that over the counter.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:40:27
No, these are prescription. They're all, even



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:40:30
the DHEA, suppositories are prescription in the United



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:40:35
States for the vagina.



Anne Truong:
00:40:36
Exactly. So you have to, kind of go see your



Anne Truong:
00:40:40
gynecologist, but not all gynecologists do hormones,



Anne Truong:
00:40:44
right, right? So that's kind of discrepancy there, too. So you



Anne Truong:
00:40:48
have to kind of go see like a functional gynecologist, or what



Anne Truong:
00:40:53
she was saying, regenerative medicine gynecologist, and



Anne Truong:
00:40:57
discuss this with them, which is, make things more complicated



Anne Truong:
00:41:01
for women. You know, it's hard enough as it is, and then you go



Anne Truong:
00:41:04
see a gynecologist who's not comfortable with hormones or is



Anne Truong:
00:41:08
familiar with it, that person may say you don't need it,



Anne Truong:
00:41:12
you're too old or not important anymore, and really downplay



Anne Truong:
00:41:16
your symptoms. And so you have to kind of be an advocate for



Anne Truong:
00:41:21
yourself and your health. And I know that Dr DeLucia and I will



Anne Truong:
00:41:25
agree on this, that we believe that you can have sexual



Anne Truong:
00:41:28
activity to the day you die. You don't have to give it up as you



Anne Truong:
00:41:33
get older. And that is a myth that we were taught, you know,



Anne Truong:
00:41:39
in the 1700s. We are now in 2025 that is no longer true. You can



Anne Truong:
00:41:46
still enjoy sexual activity with everything to the day you die,



Anne Truong:
00:41:52
because now we have technology to replenish the blood flow down



Anne Truong:
00:41:58
in the genitalia to make it function again, as if you were



Anne Truong:
00:42:03
in your 30s again. But you don't have to worry about all the



Anne Truong:
00:42:06
contraception.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:09
That's the plus, right? So we are very



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:14
similar in age, and we practice what we preach as far as



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:20
maintaining our own health and our own longevity. It's more



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:26
than just sex. It's about our ability to live our lives to the



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:32
fullest and to the best of our capabilities. Overall intimacy



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:37
is, of course, a very critical part of that.



Anne Truong:
00:42:40
And having said that, I want to ask you two



Anne Truong:
00:42:43
things, what is ultimate intimacy and what is ultimate



Anne Truong:
00:42:46
connection? Can you explain that to us?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:49
Ultimate intimacy is just my way of



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:42:54
saying, Be your best intimate partner. Intimacy has a range of



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:01
meaning. It can mean meeting you where you are. It means if,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:08
let's say you are well into your 80s, and at this point, there



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:14
are clinical reasons why actually having penetrating



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:19
intercourse is no longer the priority, but maybe cuddling is



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:25
if that's how you define your ultimate intimacy, that's a way



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:31
of maintaining that ultimate connection. Ultimate connection



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:37
is really learning number one, love yourself, and number two,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:45
then you can love others. So when it comes to the ultimate



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:50
connection, you've got to connect with yourself first and



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:43:56
then others. And it takes some learning and sometimes maturity,



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:44:02
to be able to overlook your own faults, overlook noise in your



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:44:07
head, and come to the realization that maybe you're



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:44:12
not so bad, and maybe someone else can love you too.



Anne Truong:
00:44:16
Oh, I love that. Make sure men and the women



Anne Truong:
00:44:21
listening to this get her book. I will link that in the



Anne Truong:
00:44:24
description. Ultimate Intimacy and Ultimate Connection, because



Anne Truong:
00:44:28
I think that once you read that it will be an easier way for you



Anne Truong:
00:44:32
to talk to your partner. Because I noticed that the one of the



Anne Truong:
00:44:35
most challenges that my men face is that how to talk to their



Anne Truong:
00:44:40
partner openly to have them understand that sexual



Anne Truong:
00:44:44
intercourse is important for them, even in 70s. I saw a 79



Anne Truong:
00:44:48
year old male today who lost his wife a year ago and wants to get



Anne Truong:
00:44:54
back to dating again, and he wants to be able to have



Anne Truong:
00:44:59
intercourse. He has ED for the past 10 years, but he wants to



Anne Truong:
00:45:03
get back in the game. And I love that, and I think that is so



Anne Truong:
00:45:07
sweet, and definitely is possible, and we're going to do



Anne Truong:
00:45:11
everything we can to get him functioning again. But that's



Anne Truong:
00:45:15
really kind of the minority, right? Because sometimes people



Anne Truong:
00:45:17
will say, Well, you're 79, what do you want thinking about



Anne Truong:
00:45:20
having sexual activity? So having said that, I'm so



Anne Truong:
00:45:26
grateful that you here with us in this episode, teaching us



Anne Truong:
00:45:32
about the female pleasure system. And women, I hope you



Anne Truong:
00:45:37
learn something. I've learned something. Men, please listen to



Anne Truong:
00:45:42
this at least three times, get her book, because it's



Anne Truong:
00:45:46
oftentimes it knowing your partner better than she even



Anne Truong:
00:45:50
knows herself is really the way to her heart. And is that, what



Anne Truong:
00:45:56
do you say about that?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:45:57
I love that. Perfect.



Anne Truong:
00:45:59
So how can our listeners find out more about



Anne Truong:
00:46:04
you, to work with you?



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:06
Oh, well, on Instagram. I'm simply Carolyn



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:09
DeLucia, MD, and you could certainly follow me there and



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:14
private message me if you do need to, and I'm happy to answer



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:20
your questions. My office website is DrCarolynDeLucia.com



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:27
I try to not make this complicated. And you could



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:31
always reach out for me there and try to reach the office. My



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:36
office phone number directly is 9084315849, I'm in New Jersey



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:46:45
and Manhattan.



Anne Truong:
00:46:46
And she's not only an excellent doctor, she's also



Anne Truong:
00:46:49
a good person as well. So beautiful on the outside,



Anne Truong:
00:46:54
beautiful on the inside. I've known her for a very long time,



Anne Truong:
00:46:58
and just very grateful for our friendship and just, you know,



Anne Truong:
00:47:03
sharing our same interests together, and we always laugh



Anne Truong:
00:47:06
when we're together. She always surprise me. I never know what



Anne Truong:
00:47:17
to expect from you. We have the clitoris. We have your cat.We



Anne Truong:
00:47:24
have your dog. Well, now we're missing the chicken right now.



Unknown:
00:47:31
Well I do have an incredible man, let's not forget



Unknown:
00:47:34
him.



Anne Truong:
00:47:35
That's right, and she's getting married soon,



Anne Truong:
00:47:38
right? Congratulations on that. Yeah, and I hope to meet him one



Anne Truong:
00:47:44
day as well. So reach out to Dr. Carolyn if you're in New Jersey



Anne Truong:
00:47:50
and in Manhattan. And having said that, guys, I hope that we



Anne Truong:
00:47:55
have given you some tips, the female and how to arouse her.



Anne Truong:
00:48:00
And that know about the clitoris. That's right, know



Anne Truong:
00:48:05
about the clitoris, and you may even know more than your



Anne Truong:
00:48:09
partner, which is awesome. So we will see you in the next



Anne Truong:
00:48:14
episode.



Carolyn DeLucia:
00:48:14
Thank you.



Anne Truong:
00:48:16
Thank you.



Anne Truong:
00:48:17
Okay, Modern Man, you are not alone and you don't have to



Anne Truong:
00:48:21
suffer anymore. ED can feel isolating, frustrating, and even



Anne Truong:
00:48:26
defeating. The endless guessing, the quiet shame, the weight of



Anne Truong:
00:48:31
not feeling like yourself is exhausting. But here's the



Anne Truong:
00:48:35
truth, you are not broken. You are not alone. You don't have to



Anne Truong:
00:48:41
figure this out alone anymore. The Get Wood Now Boost Program



Anne Truong:
00:48:46
is your step by step, path to sexual confidence and



Anne Truong:
00:48:51
restoration. No more suffering in silence, no more trial and



Anne Truong:
00:48:56
error, just real solution, real result and the confidence you



Anne Truong:
00:49:00
deserve. It's time to take back your power on your term. Let's



Anne Truong:
00:49:05
get this journey started together. Check out the course



Anne Truong:
00:49:09
at getwoodnow.com. I'll see you there.



Anne Truong:
00:49:14
Thanks for listening to the Sexual Health for Men Podcast.



Anne Truong:
00:49:18
If you love this episode, then please take a screenshot on your



Anne Truong:
00:49:22
phone and post it on Facebook, Instagram, or wherever you post,



Anne Truong:
00:49:25
and be sure to tag me and let me know why you like this episode



Anne Truong:
00:49:29
and what you like to hear in the future. That will help me know



Anne Truong:
00:49:32
what's great for you and I would love to give you the most



Anne Truong:
00:49:35
incredible free gift designed to help you improve performance



Anne Truong:
00:49:38
quickly. Go to my website at sexualhealthformenpodcast.com to



Anne Truong:
00:49:44
get the book, The Five Common Costly Mistakes Men Make When



Anne Truong:
00:49:48
Facing ED. I would appreciate if you subscribe, leave a review on



Anne Truong:
00:49:52
Apple podcasts or wherever you listen. And just know that you



Anne Truong:
00:49:56
can have sexual vitality for life. I appreciate you until



Anne Truong:
00:49:59
next time.