Cody Alford: What Makes a Warrior When the War Is Over?

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You know, for most of human history, the warrior had a clear role.
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What happens to a warrior when there's no longer a war to fight?
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The real mission within begins.
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Well, let's even go back.
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Like what makes someone a warrior in the first place, I guess.
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I know that's a, that was a term that I heard thrown around a lot throughout my military career.
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And I, and I never agree with the majority of the responses that I heard.
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And those would be like, oh, this guy's a warrior.
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And it was very battlefield centric.
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And then as I moved up in rank and.
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got to pee behind the curtain as I progressed through my military career, I realized that the real warrior was the man and woman who was not only capable on the battlefield, but was also competent back at home looking out for the people that they would be serving alongside.
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And I realized that that wasn't always the case.
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And so the savage or the warrior term that gets thrown around a lot was a
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a competent, compassionate, capable person, no matter what their roles or responsibilities were, because not everyone has a combat lead role, but everyone that serves a role inside that mechanism is super crucial.
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And a lot of people...
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I think didn't give themselves enough credit or their environments didn't allow them to flourish enough to actually kind of step into those, those true roles.
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It was like kind of almost stay in your lane.
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So a warrior to me,
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is someone who finds a way, who adapts and overcomes, no matter their surrounding, no matter their scenario, whether it's conflict or just communication.
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Maybe that's not the term for everyone else, but it's definitely something that I've tried to embody myself throughout my career and as a civilian.
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I feel like that term grit gets thrown around a lot, you know, like particularly towards the young generations now, like, oh, they're not getting any grit instilled.
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So what did the military teach you about grit that most people, I don't know, never learn?
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That it sucks to suck.
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And then the only way to not suck is to endure the suck.
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And it seems very basic terminology, but, you know, for instance, I was walking with my four-year-old son today.
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And we're walking our dogs.
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It's about like a mile and a half.
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And he's like, dad, I want to pull, I basically want to stop and sit down for a little bit.
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I'm like, hey, we're about halfway home.
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You know, normally I say we're almost there, but I'm like, hey, we're about halfway home.
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You're doing great.
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Keep on going.
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This is, this is where you grow.
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And it was.
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not brought up again, you know?
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And then like we get home, I'm like, man, I'm so proud of you.
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You didn't want to like take a break.
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He's like, my legs are tired.
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And you know, he's four, but I feel like I'm tired.
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I'm going to go sit down.
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I'm hungry.
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I'm going to go eat.
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I don't want to today.
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So I'm not going to today.
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And the grit comes in like many forms.
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I feel like the coolest thing about grit, it's a, it's a completely self-imposed opportunity to grow
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What you said with the modern generation is like there probably is a bigger desire to be part of something bigger themselves and greater than themselves, but realizing that their ability or inability to show up determines that the military taught me is like, how bad do you want it?
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You know, the first time I've ever was in a school where I could quit, like I could like drop it.
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It's called DOR, drop a request was the moment I knew I was in the right place because, you know, a lot of people can do hard things.
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but they usually kind of like stay stuck with it because they feel like there's no out.
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But when they have an out for themselves, that's when they're really afforded the opportunity.
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Like, yo, how bad do you want this?
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You know, you said you want this, you talked about you want this, but your actions are showing differently.
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And it gives you that opportunity to really find the mind over matter because our brains are so much powerful than our bodies.
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And I have to remind myself that at 41, you know, when I'm in the sauna for, you know, 40 minutes at, you know, 200 degrees, I'm like, oh, I can go forever.
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But my brain is much stronger.
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My willpower is significantly stronger than my body as I'm depleting my body of all these nutrients and all these fluids.
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I have to be smarter and capable.
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And I feel like some people only look at what their bodies are capable of doing, not what their mind and their body are capable of doing together.
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That's kind of the opposite of what I would have thought that, that you felt more like, like attached to the, to the circumstances when you, when you had the option for an out where it was reflected back to you of like, this is a choice.
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I guess I almost assume that most people need the boundary of not having the choice to endure sometimes, but your experience is almost the opposite.
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Yeah.
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Well, because the thing about it, right?
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So like if you know that you can't quit, then you're going to get by one way or another, right?
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Now, just because you get by doesn't mean that you are getting by in a way that where you feel fulfilled or you feel like you...
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Earned it, I should say.
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Anytime there's a chance to fail, there's a chance to succeed.
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And I think especially growing up through the military and seeing like a lot of different phases from an 18-year-old, you know, little boy to a 33-year-old man.
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I noticed that people like the fact that, oh, I can't quit.
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They can't stop me.
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well, now you're just like society.
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You're the societal norm of just like the herd mentality pushes you through.
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But then even when that happens, the herd mentality finishes as a whole on the finish line.
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But you don't have, not everyone's a top performer.
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Not everyone is successful.
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Not everyone is impactful.
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Not everyone is a leader.
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Not everyone has taken something away because they minded over matter.
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The hardship or the adversity that they were currently going through, that's something I always found pretty interesting throughout the military career.
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Did the military get anything wrong in your judgment in terms of how it builds grid or how it builds the warriors were defining it?
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Do I feel like they got anything wrong?
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No, I mean, honestly, people can say what they want to about the military.
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The military is one big psychological operation, especially the Marine Corps.
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I mean, no place in the world can you take people from all around the globe, put them through a 12, 13 week period and have them come out on the other side and feel like they're absolutely invincible.
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You know, like that, that does not happen anywhere else.
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And the military has been using doctrine that's been around since the inception of it.
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And it's still using those same doctrines today.
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And I think they got it pretty good.
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The, the, the thing that gets wrong with the military and gives the military the bad rep are the participants in the military.
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You know, a lot of people feel like they got cheated.
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A lot of people felt like, well, my leadership sucked.
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And that's a lot of it out there, right?
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There's poor leadership everywhere.
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Um,
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But I had those same experiences with poor leadership, just like everyone else did.
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So that's when you get the chance to evolve as a person like, okay, are you going to speak up?
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Are you going to bring suggestions?
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Are you willing to take a punch to the face, you know, favorably and, you know, physically at times, you know, is, are you willing to, to be seen?
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And most people want the glory, but they don't want to be on the battlefield.
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I kind of bring this back to the whole, like, like Christ walking to his death.
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Right?
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There's all these people on the sideline that were blessed, touched, and lives changed and transformed from this person.
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And as Christ is walking to his death, they're like, oh, please don't look at me because I don't want the same fate as you, right?
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It's like, they want the salvation, but they don't want the hardship that must be endured to receive it.
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You know, they want the recognition without the absolute like turmoil that you must go through to become the person, right?
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A lot of people take the military context
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And they're like, well, I got cheated.
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But did you cheat yourself?
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Because nothing was handed out to me in my military career.
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In fact, I was, generally speaking, underqualified.
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I did not have like, there's a lot of like academic scoring as well that you need.
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Like it's called like a GT score, your ASVAP.
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I was always subpar on all these requirements.
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And when I was told no, I found a solution.
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I found a way.
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And most people don't do that.
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And what I think is the best about the military, those men and women who were able to hit those roadblocks and then find another way, they're generally pretty successful in the real world too.
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Same way with civilians.
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It's like, I've been working this job for four years and I've never got a raise.
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Well, bro, have you asked for a raise?
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You know, have you shown the value?
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Have you even brought up what you're doing, what you're working on, how your department's doing better?
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People are honestly too scared and no fault of their own.
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It's generally an experience-based thing where I was really exposed to a lot of that in the military because if you want to eat, you got to speak up.
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If you want change, you got to speak up.
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I remember telling officers no.
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in the military, which is super taboo and definitely something that you're not supposed to do.
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And there's repercussions that come with that.
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But when it's significant enough for me to step into that role to put my hand out and say, stop, it's for a reason.
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And that's where logical and like common sense comes into play.
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And I don't think people kind of push their boundaries of who they really are.
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I'm like, we're all breathing.
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We all got the same...
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you know, mechanism inside of us, we're all fueled by, you know, this spirit, this soul that's like, you know, pumping in this like lifeline in front of us.
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We all have the same capabilities.
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Do we have different gifts and traits?
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100%, but we all have a voice.
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And if you don't, if you can't personally speak and you can write, you know, you can transcribe something like that's the most powerful thing we can do is speak up for ourselves.
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And I just don't see a lot of people do that.
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To me, that's like having agency.
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Where did you learn that?
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Did you learn that in the military or from your youth?
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Maybe the youth.
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I started playing football at seventh grade.
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I played soccer before that.
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I think every kid played soccer.
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You could suck and still play soccer.
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Football, especially in Texas, 5A football –
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And you had to be good and pretty big and good at the same time.
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I was a super small, skinny white kid in Duncanville, Texas, 5A football.
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And I never found myself starting until my senior year.
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The struggle that I faced was that I love the camaraderie and the teamwork that came with football.
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And so when they're looking for stout defense, right?
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So they're looking for basically like the beat up defense that can run these plays.
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The offense can just hammer them and get all their reps in.
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Even though I knew I was a punching bag, I gave it everything I had because I cared about the team winning, even though the team to win was the varsity team, which was two years ahead of me.
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Right.
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But I had influence on how I show up because if I cut corners because I didn't want to get hit hard or I didn't want to go hard doing two a days in Texas heat.
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then I'm felling the team, which is why I'm there in the first place, because it wasn't Cody Alford football.
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It was the Duncanville Panther football.
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It was a team.
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And I really fell in love with that team aspect at a young age.
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In the military, what I noticed, I remember this.
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I remember it was like day one or day two once you actually get inside your prescribed boot camp platoon.
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Where you're already done with all your end processing.
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I very vividly remember my general instructors asking, who here wants to be a leader?
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And when I told you that I was scared, I was terrified, but I raised my hand because I'm like, why would I want to sign up for something for four years just to get by, you know, just to be a gray man?
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Like I had dreams of becoming a scout sniper.
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That's why I joined the military in the first place.
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So like, and that wasn't a guaranteed place.
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Like I couldn't just directly sign up for that as a 17 year old kid at the recruiting station.
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But I knew deep down inside that if I don't lead, I run the risk of someone completely incapable, you know, being in charge of me.
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And when people look at people on social media or people doing businesses, they're like, well, why are they doing it?
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Well, they're doing it because they did it.
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You know, why wouldn't they want to do it?
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They're just as capable as you.
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That's why I love these success stories of just like, because everyone's a normal person that do abnormal things.
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I wasn't handed a silver platter.
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I wasn't given a guaranteed, you know, birth plan for my military career.
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Like Cody, if you just keep on doing your job, this is where you're going to end up.
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None of that was the case.
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And I had multiple times to throw that away, to derail myself, to get distracted, to chase a shiny object.
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So any decision I would have made would have completely changed my entire military experience.
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But one thing that allowed me to have the experience that I've had as a service member, as well as a civilian is why not me?
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You know, like I want that.
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I want to do that.
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Why can't I learn that?
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Why can't I be good at this?
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Why can't I get this opportunity?
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Well, in case you can, well, why not?
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And then you go find a way, right?
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Because generally what I've learned from the military specifically is people tell you no to opportunities that they were never courageous enough to take themselves.
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Not everybody wanted to be a scout sniper or a force reconnaissance Marine or a Marine Raider in the Marine Corps.
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And I didn't know that.
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But a lot of these guys that were in charge of other people who wanted to, you know, aspire to be those roles, they did try out.
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And the trend that I saw was that, you know, these young Marines be like, hey, I want to try out for the sniper and doc.
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Well, their leader tried out and failed.
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And then he has a sour taste in his mouth and he talks about how he was cheated.
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And therefore he like has a chip on his shoulder and he just projects it down on other people.
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And...
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You know, the military is a very jealous organization, not all the time, but you got to think that
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you're honestly not in charge of your own destiny.
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There's generally two people in front of you at all times that write reports on you, do reviews on you.
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And generally speaking, if you had a bad relationship with them, you can kind of see where that goes.
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Well, that's the same way in the civilian workforce.
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But the thing is the competition isn't thick.
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The competition generally stops at like, oh, I was told no, so I'm not gonna move forward anymore.
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I don't have money, so I can't start this business that I want to.
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These are all fallacies that we tell ourselves.
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I started my business with $0 and an iPad.
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It's about how bad do you want it and how long are you willing to endure the suck?
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How hard are you willing to dig deep and find that grit to go for something you actually say you want?
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And I think that's the most powerful thing that we have as humans, especially Americans, the land of opportunity.
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Yeah, is everything perfect here?
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Absolutely not.
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But I'd much rather be in America than anywhere else in the world.
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I love this place.
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We have some of the most amazing people that are homegrown, that are imported, that are all around the globe.
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And they come here with the same opportunities as everyone else has.
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But the problem is, is that people don't realize that those people have to put themselves out there.
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They had to get told a bunch of no's before they ever got told one yes.
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They had to actually put their money where their mouth is.
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Most Americans have no problem spending 200 bucks.
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on a Friday night at a bar or the course of a weekend at a bar, or maybe even just like a nice fine restaurant.
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But you ask that same person to invest $200 into something healthier for them, something that can transform their life or maybe continued education for themselves.
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And it's like a roadblock.
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And I think it's more of a generational thing because how America is kind of set up is you go to school, then you go to college, then you get a job.
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And that's your birth plan.
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Do you invest in a 401k?
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And then you die one day.
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But before you die, you know, you'll get to buy your dream car finally that you're never going to drive because you're too terrified because you've been living in fear your entire life.
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Where I said, screw that.
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I'm like the complete opposite.
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I bought my dream truck when I was 23 and I drove that 52 GMC everywhere, cross country to work every day and old timers would always be like, why is that thing in the garage?
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I'm like, why would I say this is my dream truck and not use it?
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You know, that's like having a favorite pair of pants that you only wear on special occasions.
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It doesn't make sense.
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But once again, you know, I was shot in the helmet at 18 and it really changed a lot of perspective for me because I'm like, wow, you know, life is extremely short.
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This wasn't like a, I almost got T-boned by a car.
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This was like, I almost didn't come back to existence.
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And so it drove me even harder to push after these things that I said I wanted.
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And I knew the play.
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I remember some of the hardest training I ever did in the military.
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Yeah.
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I remember it was, it's called patrol phase during a recon school and it's like,
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five plus days, you got limited food.
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You always have access to water.
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So you don't obviously dine, you know, heat stroke out there, but you definitely have limited access to food, completely limited access to sleep.
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You're carrying a hundred plus pounds of gear on your pack and you're playing GI Joe in the, in the woods.
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I'm camp Pendleton.
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And I remember walking for hours through this like Creek bed.
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It's wet waters up to like my shins and the moon is out and the clouds are there and there's mountains on both sides of me.
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I'm like,
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I visioned this when I was a kid, you know, all those movies I watched, you know, the insert, whatever war movie or military movie that ever existed.
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Like I visioned this as a kid saying, this is what I wanted to do.
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And now I'm actually doing it.
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And I'm in that role.
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Therefore, I didn't care that my feet were completely soaking wet.
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I didn't care that I was hungry because what did you expect?
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How important is that?
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the, the, you know, knowing your mission now, like, cause, cause what I hear is like, you knew what you wanted out of football.
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You knew what you wanted out of the military.
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Cause there's many people that have discipline, but no mission.
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Yeah.
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That's a huge and great point, right?
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There's a lot of people with external discipline with absolute zero internal foundation.
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And I was one of those people.
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When I retired from the Marine Corps back in September 2018,
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I lost my mission, my identity, my purpose.
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Like I was so happy I was getting to retire.
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You know, I was super desperate at the time too.
285
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My brain was shutting down.
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I'm drooling on myself nonstop.
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Like I was pretty tapped up.
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And so I was excited for that opportunity to get to experience life.
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But as soon as I picked up my retirement paperwork and I got escorted off my own compound, I instantly lost everything.
290
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everything as quick as, even though I was looking forward to that transition, as soon as I got escorted off the compound, I was like, I am so lost.
291
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And when I got out, I didn't know who I was, what I stood for, or what I believed in.
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Those three things, I had no clue about any of them.
293
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And I was determined to make that my mission.
294
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If you don't have a mission, and some people, they take a mission and they look at it completely different.
295
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A mission can simply be, I'm going to go through my day without having any negative self-talk.
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I'm going to go through my day and I'm before I touch my pillow, I'm going to make sure I do at least 20 pushups, 20 pushups before I even touch that pillow.
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I'm going to make sure sometime in this 24 hour period, I'm going to 20 pushups.
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That could be your mission.
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Your mission is wherever your feet are at and what your mind is going through.
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And I live in a really weird, unique world where.
301
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It's all in my head.
302
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And I'm willing to bet so is everyone else's because we're all kind of just making up what we think life is.
303
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But I know very factually there's a war in a world inside my mind.
304
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And when I'm looking for a mission to grow and expand, sometimes it has nothing to do with anything outside of us.
305
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It has to do with everything inside.
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Like, man, I want to be a better person.
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Well, I can tell you this much.
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I've been wanting to be a better person for a long time in my life.
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And, you know, each one of those, you know, let's just say Lego blocks to build my foundation.
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Some of those things took me a year and a half to even like, I can't believe I overcame that.
311
00:21:37.541 --> 00:21:41.084
You know, but we get so used to saying, man, I want this new foundation.
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item from Amazon.
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I press it and two days later, it's at my house.
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I want to have pizza tonight.
315
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So I go out and I drive and get pizza or order and have it delivered.
316
00:21:49.039 --> 00:21:53.363
We're so used to receiving what we want externally instantly.
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But that thing that we seek the most internally, it takes time, right?
318
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And I'm a firm believer.
319
00:21:59.868 --> 00:22:02.090
You talked about like this ancestral foundation.
320
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You know, the same people that existed in my entire bloodline are flowing through my DNA.
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00:22:08.193 --> 00:22:11.635
The hundreds of thousands that ever existed are flowing through my DNA.
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So not only am I working on my own problems, I'm working on all the other things that my generation never did.
323
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Not because they weren't capable, but they just probably weren't exposed to.
324
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Let's just go back to a made up time of, you know, loincloths and mud huts.
325
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There was no like speaking up out of place.
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It was shut up and call her.
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Do what the elder says.
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Pay the fee to the king.
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Do this, do that.
330
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It was very rare that the rebels existed because there was a high price to pay and that was your life.
331
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That was honestly your bloodline was at stake.
332
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Now we wear funny clothes.
333
00:22:45.276 --> 00:22:46.337
We have made up jobs.
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We have imaginary money.
335
00:22:48.059 --> 00:22:52.564
It's still the same mental slavery, but it's mental slavery is a choice thing.
336
00:22:52.824 --> 00:22:54.686
Not everyone is courageous.
337
00:22:54.726 --> 00:22:58.549
And being courageous doesn't mean you're brave enough to charge a machine gun bunker.
338
00:22:58.930 --> 00:23:02.493
Being courageous is the ability to think, right?
339
00:23:03.294 --> 00:23:05.036
Thinking has become a crime.
340
00:23:05.096 --> 00:23:06.177
Thinking has become...
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00:23:07.374 --> 00:23:18.300
this one crucial tool that we have for success and survivability that people don't even allow themselves to, to like embark on.
342
00:23:18.920 --> 00:23:23.283
You know, uh, I, I had a coaching group for years and I remember one of my participants in there.
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00:23:24.243 --> 00:23:24.723
great dude.
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He's like, man, I really want to be able to like, you know, buy a house, you know, and they have a farm.
345
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I'm like, he's like, I just, I just don't have the money yet.
346
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I'm like, well, how much is the house and farm?
347
00:23:35.367 --> 00:23:36.207
He's like, well, I don't know.
348
00:23:36.227 --> 00:23:38.208
I'm like, well, then how do you know you don't have the money for it?
349
00:23:39.815 --> 00:23:42.217
I'm like, well, what can you get approved for right now?
350
00:23:42.397 --> 00:23:43.278
He's like, well, I don't know.
351
00:23:43.298 --> 00:23:44.879
I'm like, well, how do you know you can't afford it?
352
00:23:45.500 --> 00:23:50.644
But most people won't even go that route because whatever story they're telling themselves, that's just truth.
353
00:23:50.684 --> 00:23:53.126
That's it's sealed in fate.
354
00:23:53.246 --> 00:23:55.267
It's they're locked into their situation.
355
00:23:55.287 --> 00:23:57.049
And that's simply not true.
356
00:23:57.269 --> 00:23:59.211
But it's a completely mental disease.
357
00:24:00.453 --> 00:24:01.293
I have a gift for you.
358
00:24:01.333 --> 00:24:03.374
It's called the Freedom Meets Guide.
359
00:24:03.534 --> 00:24:10.957
And it's all about reclaiming your health, eating the most nutrient-dense traditional foods, bone broth, organ meats, raw milk, and more.
360
00:24:11.257 --> 00:24:15.559
See, these are the foods that built strong and resilient people for generations.
361
00:24:15.739 --> 00:24:18.540
And this guide will help bring them back into your life.
362
00:24:18.861 --> 00:24:24.923
Whether you're just starting out or you're deep into ancestral lifestyle, this is the roadmap.
363
00:24:25.083 --> 00:24:30.777
and all 24 pages of it are available for download for free via the link in the description.
364
00:24:30.917 --> 00:24:33.864
Look, start feeding your body what it really needs.
365
00:24:34.245 --> 00:24:34.947
You deserve it.
366
00:24:36.832 --> 00:24:49.740
It's such an interesting point that really like a lot of times the cage we're building is simply because we're not asking questions and we're not having the courage to just step into what we dream and learn what it takes, right?
367
00:24:50.040 --> 00:24:52.341
You're just sitting back and waiting for someone to deliver it.
368
00:24:53.042 --> 00:24:56.484
That's kind of one of the things you hear a lot about kids today, right?
369
00:24:57.044 --> 00:25:02.788
We're talking a lot of times about social media and people are more consuming the social media rather than...
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00:25:03.268 --> 00:25:04.790
participating in something.
371
00:25:04.870 --> 00:25:07.533
You know, they're just consumers left and right.
372
00:25:07.914 --> 00:25:20.628
Is there something from your perspective that could help either parents or kids kind of get out of that consumption mode and kind of step into being more mindful of asking those questions and making those choices towards action?
373
00:25:21.249 --> 00:25:23.231
I'm always encouraging people to create.
374
00:25:23.792 --> 00:25:25.153
You had a dream as a kid.
375
00:25:25.553 --> 00:25:30.275
Every hardcore gangster to every successful person, they cried as a baby.
376
00:25:30.295 --> 00:25:33.197
They went potty in their pants.
377
00:25:33.657 --> 00:25:35.138
You know, they smiled.
378
00:25:35.158 --> 00:25:35.758
They laughed.
379
00:25:35.778 --> 00:25:36.698
They played in dirt.
380
00:25:36.719 --> 00:25:38.079
They played with rocks and sticks.
381
00:25:38.419 --> 00:25:39.460
They were so creative.
382
00:25:39.480 --> 00:25:43.522
And then one day something happened where they were told to stop and to get in line.
383
00:25:44.815 --> 00:25:54.197
And that's when we go from creators to just consumers, consumers of rules, consumers of regulations, consumers of, well, I couldn't do it.
384
00:25:54.217 --> 00:25:57.678
So therefore you can't do it, especially with kids and technology.
385
00:25:57.778 --> 00:26:01.718
It's like, I'm like, guys, I, my God's sons, I love them to death.
386
00:26:02.118 --> 00:26:05.539
But when they were younger, they would just watch other people play video games.
387
00:26:06.019 --> 00:26:08.460
I'm like, totally cool to do that.
388
00:26:08.940 --> 00:26:10.020
If you have a mission.
389
00:26:10.600 --> 00:26:13.582
Like let's say there's an objective that you can't get over on a game.
390
00:26:13.962 --> 00:26:16.884
Absolutely watch a video on someone, how they overcome that.
391
00:26:16.984 --> 00:26:18.365
So you can go replicate that.
392
00:26:19.346 --> 00:26:22.468
But there has to be a point in time where you're like, why can't I do that?
393
00:26:23.108 --> 00:26:24.049
I'm super talented.
394
00:26:24.289 --> 00:26:26.671
Well, you can do that, but it's going to take grit.
395
00:26:26.911 --> 00:26:27.772
It's going to take time.
396
00:26:28.092 --> 00:26:31.194
And the thing is you can put your heart and soul into it and nothing's guaranteed.
397
00:26:32.683 --> 00:26:39.225
And that's a scary mission to know that whatever you want and whatever you're really striving for and sacrificing for is not guaranteed.
398
00:26:39.785 --> 00:26:42.686
That's what keeps people like, you know what, I'll just stop.
399
00:26:43.326 --> 00:26:44.946
I'll just go back to doing what I'm told.
400
00:26:45.366 --> 00:26:50.668
Not because they're incompetent or they're slave mentalities, but because it's easier to have something guaranteed.
401
00:26:51.168 --> 00:26:53.690
than to step into a world that is unknown, right?
402
00:26:54.111 --> 00:27:00.076
And that's the same thing with like self-discovery and personal development is like, look at me, I'm jacked, I'm disciplined.
403
00:27:00.176 --> 00:27:05.060
I have all the things in line, but I've worked with a lot of those people as clients.
404
00:27:05.240 --> 00:27:07.341
And at the end of the day, what they don't have is themselves.
405
00:27:08.042 --> 00:27:09.784
You know, everything they touch turns to gold.
406
00:27:09.824 --> 00:27:15.631
They have the family, the cars, the house, the things, the employees, the people, their blessing, great things.
407
00:27:16.392 --> 00:27:23.901
But they're still empty inside because they have sacrificed their own inner dialogue for a external mission.
408
00:27:24.822 --> 00:27:26.264
that is gonna die off with them.
409
00:27:26.745 --> 00:27:30.490
And the thing that lives on past you is who you become within.
410
00:27:30.831 --> 00:27:32.793
That's like saying, oh, I give my kids everything they want.
411
00:27:33.034 --> 00:27:35.878
Well, what they want is to see you handle conflict with your spouse.
412
00:27:36.338 --> 00:27:39.162
What they want is to see you, what presence really like.
413
00:27:39.202 --> 00:27:41.305
What they want to see is how you handle this,
414
00:27:41.746 --> 00:27:54.109
crazy lifestyle and that you either are part of or you developed yourself and how you still make time to pet the dogs when you come home and ask the kids how they're doing and play for five minutes, right?
415
00:27:54.329 --> 00:27:56.389
But that can only happen when you work on yourself.
416
00:27:56.609 --> 00:28:03.751
And I feel like the younger generation that's constantly just viewing and consuming, they don't realize that
417
00:28:04.665 --> 00:28:10.827
The only difference between the person they're watching and wanting to emulate in themselves is the fact that that person's doing it.
418
00:28:11.047 --> 00:28:18.709
But that's the problem is like when you are so conditioned and programmed and there's no catalyst that triggers you and exposes you.
419
00:28:18.789 --> 00:28:20.749
Once you see something, you can't unsee it, right?
420
00:28:21.250 --> 00:28:22.470
The first big like...
421
00:28:23.090 --> 00:28:29.074
FU dinner I ever was at where my friend ordered for the whole table, the king crab, the tomahawk steaks.
422
00:28:29.114 --> 00:28:31.236
Like I've never experienced anything in my life.
423
00:28:31.676 --> 00:28:33.677
Now, granted, he's very positioned to do that.
424
00:28:34.057 --> 00:28:37.119
And so he's blessing us to, you know, collectively because he wanted to.
425
00:28:38.020 --> 00:28:41.301
But the moment I saw that, I'm like, oh my God, I can't unsee this.
426
00:28:42.002 --> 00:28:48.084
So instantly, once I got to a place, I wanted to take my friends to that same level of experience because I know what it impacted me on.
427
00:28:48.424 --> 00:28:50.725
Ordering for the table, I never knew that was a thing.
428
00:28:51.126 --> 00:28:53.967
I've seen it in movies, but movies are fake.
429
00:28:54.983 --> 00:28:57.544
course they are, but so is life to a certain degree.
430
00:28:57.644 --> 00:28:58.764
Everyone's making it up.
431
00:28:59.524 --> 00:29:13.468
It's just who's bolder to go out there and defy the conformity of their own mental constraints and the societal programming that they've been, that they're willingly accepting as truths in their life via going out there and paving their own path.
432
00:29:13.488 --> 00:29:19.070
They don't have to reinvent the wheel, but going out there and taking a chance on themselves.
433
00:29:19.450 --> 00:29:22.371
You know, to me, I never understood why people don't do that.
434
00:29:23.090 --> 00:29:23.510
Yeah.
435
00:29:23.670 --> 00:29:25.831
And as you're pointing out, mission is so important.
436
00:29:25.851 --> 00:29:29.573
So how does one know what their mission is?
437
00:29:30.194 --> 00:29:30.674
Good luck.
438
00:29:30.954 --> 00:29:31.454
I don't know.
439
00:29:31.474 --> 00:29:33.775
I'm 41 and I'm still trying to figure that.
440
00:29:33.835 --> 00:29:40.599
I don't claim to have any answers, but I know that I'm not the same man I am today that I was even 30 days ago, let alone eight years ago.
441
00:29:41.419 --> 00:29:44.881
And as much as I've tried to force, what is my mission?
442
00:29:44.901 --> 00:29:45.581
What's my purpose?
443
00:29:45.601 --> 00:29:47.902
Because I've asked God this for years, like, what's my mission?
444
00:29:47.942 --> 00:29:48.763
What's my purpose?
445
00:29:51.007 --> 00:29:53.209
I'm never going to get there if I stay in my comfort zone.
446
00:29:54.030 --> 00:30:00.455
I'm never going to expose that path if I keep on doing the same thing that I'm doing that's causing me pain and turmoil.
447
00:30:01.096 --> 00:30:04.859
You know, I've worked one job as a civilian since I've been in the military since 2018.
448
00:30:05.619 --> 00:30:06.920
Day one, I worked that job.
449
00:30:06.960 --> 00:30:08.722
I was thinking about my business, We Defy the Norm.
450
00:30:09.034 --> 00:30:15.835
Day one, I was thinking about the thing that I kind of paused to get this opportunity because of, you know, big money, big opportunity.
451
00:30:15.895 --> 00:30:18.416
I could finally prove that I'm more than just a veteran.
452
00:30:18.436 --> 00:30:21.317
You know, I know I'm capable of something more, you know.
453
00:30:21.337 --> 00:30:23.897
So it was like, it was a big opportunity for me, at least.
454
00:30:24.037 --> 00:30:25.597
So it was a big opportunity, period.
455
00:30:26.278 --> 00:30:27.838
The people I met alone was priceless.
456
00:30:28.498 --> 00:30:32.799
However, I was thinking about the thing that I really wanted to do.
457
00:30:33.799 --> 00:30:38.240
And so sometimes you have to do things that you don't want to do to get the clarity of the thing that you do want to do.
458
00:30:39.119 --> 00:30:45.663
You know, so when you're looking for, when you're trying to identify a mission in your life, it's like, man, if you could change one thing about your life right now, what would that be?
459
00:30:46.703 --> 00:30:48.124
Some people are like, oh, I need to make more money.
460
00:30:48.384 --> 00:30:48.965
Okay, tight.
461
00:30:49.245 --> 00:30:50.826
How many more, how much more money?
462
00:30:51.526 --> 00:30:52.587
How many more shifts is that?
463
00:30:52.647 --> 00:30:53.747
How many more jobs is that?
464
00:30:54.108 --> 00:30:55.589
What can you sell today?
465
00:30:56.369 --> 00:30:57.330
And then you're like, wait a second.
466
00:30:57.710 --> 00:31:00.992
I wanted $400 more a month, but I could like sell my Xbox and make that.
467
00:31:01.970 --> 00:31:02.430
Okay.
468
00:31:02.710 --> 00:31:04.971
So it's now your mission to find an extra $400.
469
00:31:04.991 --> 00:31:06.232
You can create extra a month.
470
00:31:07.012 --> 00:31:11.314
And when you get into that new pattern, even it's like, man, I want to mow two extra yards a month.
471
00:31:11.794 --> 00:31:11.994
Right.
472
00:31:12.034 --> 00:31:13.295
Cause you're doing like a side hustle.
473
00:31:13.895 --> 00:31:19.277
Once you start going down on the path of betting on yourself, the path illuminates.
474
00:31:19.738 --> 00:31:22.779
But as I keep on, you know, throwing the spaghetti at the wall, right.
475
00:31:23.709 --> 00:31:26.337
And I narrow down the things I'm actually interested in.
476
00:31:26.357 --> 00:31:30.428
Why can't I make a living and impact based upon that?
477
00:31:30.448 --> 00:31:31.732
You totally can't.
478
00:31:32.700 --> 00:31:36.862
But the thing is, it's like it's unconventional and it's not the norm, especially for America.
479
00:31:36.902 --> 00:31:39.083
It's not the norm, especially around the world, honestly.
480
00:31:39.503 --> 00:31:43.085
It's not the norm to branch out and take a gamble on yourself.
481
00:31:43.385 --> 00:31:49.769
We gamble with our souls, our money, our time, our relationships, our families.
482
00:31:49.789 --> 00:31:51.910
We gamble with all sorts of things 24-7.
483
00:31:51.930 --> 00:31:56.272
But gambling on us is not really something that most people do.
484
00:31:56.692 --> 00:32:01.175
So what I hear you saying is that you've been very motivated throughout your whole life.
485
00:32:01.595 --> 00:32:03.677
What would help someone to get motivated?
486
00:32:04.037 --> 00:32:08.800
What would help someone to kind of turn up that fire to actually start taking action?
487
00:32:09.341 --> 00:32:10.982
I have two big fears in my life.
488
00:32:11.342 --> 00:32:15.145
Fear number one is when I die, seeing who I could have become.
489
00:32:16.792 --> 00:32:22.234
Fear number two is if I'm fortunate enough to have a deathbed, looking over to my wife and asking her like, hey, did you have a good life?
490
00:32:22.334 --> 00:32:23.835
And she tells me it was okay.
491
00:32:24.495 --> 00:32:27.816
Not okay as in like, oh, we didn't go on that trip to Greece.
492
00:32:27.896 --> 00:32:29.057
She doesn't care about all those things.
493
00:32:29.497 --> 00:32:31.538
Okay as in like, yeah, dude, you're awesome.
494
00:32:31.558 --> 00:32:32.358
You were present.
495
00:32:32.398 --> 00:32:33.399
You were loving.
496
00:32:33.439 --> 00:32:35.079
You were a great husband, a great dad.
497
00:32:35.139 --> 00:32:37.660
Like my fear is that it was okay.
498
00:32:38.441 --> 00:32:45.764
And then if it's okay, that means I lived a life that was simply a dream inside my head that I never manifested to reality.
499
00:32:46.770 --> 00:32:50.791
And I have full control over that for the most part.
500
00:32:51.091 --> 00:32:54.352
I can't control what happens outside of me, but I can control my thoughts and my actions.
501
00:32:55.152 --> 00:33:04.434
And the fear of like not knowing who you could become, like I don't even know who that guy looks like, but I tell you that guy is not sad about himself.
502
00:33:04.454 --> 00:33:06.594
That guy is not going to give up.
503
00:33:06.634 --> 00:33:08.475
There's plenty of times in my life I wanted to give up.
504
00:33:09.155 --> 00:33:14.098
There's plenty of times in my life that I was just laying on my floor, but like, oh, we haven't made a sale.
505
00:33:14.139 --> 00:33:15.379
I don't know what I'm doing.
506
00:33:16.180 --> 00:33:17.881
Like just straight like pity party.
507
00:33:18.181 --> 00:33:19.742
But that's also part of the process.
508
00:33:19.822 --> 00:33:25.326
Like you're supposed to feel lost when you're walking a path that few ever embark on.
509
00:33:25.806 --> 00:33:28.128
I'm not better than anybody else.
510
00:33:28.388 --> 00:33:30.009
The competition is just simply me.
511
00:33:30.029 --> 00:33:38.075
And I think if people just looked at their competition as simply them, not what Susie down the street has or what Tim down the street's doing, but what are they doing?
512
00:33:38.793 --> 00:33:40.380
You know, I hate my job.
513
00:33:40.400 --> 00:33:41.886
I get that message all the time on the internet.
514
00:33:42.046 --> 00:33:42.749
I hate my job.
515
00:33:43.211 --> 00:33:44.516
Go find another one.
516
00:33:45.887 --> 00:33:49.990
And most of these people that I talked to that hated their job, what they really hated, it was their mindset.
517
00:33:50.790 --> 00:34:02.898
Because most of those people that I worked with and I helped them help themselves shift their mindset on how they even show up to work, they got recognized, they got paid more, they got raised, you know, they got promotions.
518
00:34:03.198 --> 00:34:07.381
They started to love their job and what they really despised most wasn't their job.
519
00:34:07.421 --> 00:34:08.902
It was just themselves.
520
00:34:09.382 --> 00:34:13.885
It was their own self-talk, their own self, that image they see when they look in the mirror.
521
00:34:13.905 --> 00:34:14.225
Right?
522
00:34:14.325 --> 00:34:14.525
Right?
523
00:34:14.705 --> 00:34:16.206
When they focus on their eyes.
524
00:34:16.947 --> 00:34:18.989
What did you do to support their mindset?
525
00:34:19.089 --> 00:34:20.189
How did you help them change?
526
00:34:20.990 --> 00:34:22.291
Ask them questions, right?
527
00:34:22.371 --> 00:34:24.152
Most people don't even ask themselves questions.
528
00:34:24.233 --> 00:34:24.873
Like, why do you...
529
00:34:25.073 --> 00:34:25.874
I hate my job.
530
00:34:25.994 --> 00:34:27.155
My job's... My life sucks.
531
00:34:27.175 --> 00:34:28.156
Well, why does your life suck?
532
00:34:28.556 --> 00:34:29.837
Oh, just nothing's working out for me.
533
00:34:29.857 --> 00:34:31.378
I'm like, well, what's not working out for you?
534
00:34:31.998 --> 00:34:32.379
Right?
535
00:34:32.419 --> 00:34:33.520
We come up with these like...
536
00:34:34.220 --> 00:34:37.505
You ever see those like boards, like, especially on podcasts, they press the button.
537
00:34:37.525 --> 00:34:39.007
It's like, hello, hello.
538
00:34:39.087 --> 00:34:39.247
Right.
539
00:34:39.287 --> 00:34:41.651
It's like all these like sound boards, these sound bites.
540
00:34:42.171 --> 00:34:44.434
We fall into this like, man, I'm hungry.
541
00:34:44.495 --> 00:34:45.336
Well, what are you hungry for?
542
00:34:45.356 --> 00:34:46.017
Well, I don't know.
543
00:34:46.982 --> 00:34:47.882
I want to make more money.
544
00:34:48.322 --> 00:34:49.443
Well, how much more money you want to make?
545
00:34:49.523 --> 00:34:50.143
Well, I don't know.
546
00:34:50.163 --> 00:34:50.963
I just want to make more money.
547
00:34:51.383 --> 00:34:54.504
Well, if I gave you, if you earn an extra dollar today, would that be happy?
548
00:34:54.644 --> 00:34:55.844
Well, no, I don't want a dollar.
549
00:34:56.084 --> 00:34:57.064
Well, how much do you want?
550
00:34:57.684 --> 00:35:02.345
Being able to be specific and have clarity in your life, only you can do that for yourself.
551
00:35:02.725 --> 00:35:04.146
And that is super scary.
552
00:35:04.566 --> 00:35:08.006
You know, one of the practices that I do to my own self, I'm driving into work.
553
00:35:08.046 --> 00:35:10.047
I have this beautiful drive to my office.
554
00:35:11.007 --> 00:35:24.912
And I asked myself, Cody, you have all the financial abundance that you and your family need to live a life that you want to live where we're able to bless our friends, bless strangers, you know, have, you know, a good life for ourselves, doing the things we want to do.
555
00:35:25.992 --> 00:35:27.233
What are you doing with your day?
556
00:35:28.798 --> 00:35:32.883
I asked myself that literally every day, what are you doing with your day?
557
00:35:33.403 --> 00:35:35.566
And then I remind myself, I'd be doing the same thing.
558
00:35:35.686 --> 00:35:36.587
I love helping people.
559
00:35:36.667 --> 00:35:37.709
I love creating content.
560
00:35:37.729 --> 00:35:44.136
I love being able to like use a digital platform for something positive that maybe not won't go viral.
561
00:35:44.997 --> 00:35:49.578
But someone on there is going to be like, dude, if this guy can do it, sheesh, I can do that.
562
00:35:50.238 --> 00:35:51.499
And I want them to.
563
00:35:51.559 --> 00:35:52.859
Some guy messaged me yesterday.
564
00:35:54.019 --> 00:36:01.261
I recently started going back to jujitsu and he's like, oh my God, I have a higher belt than the legend Cody Alford.
565
00:36:01.601 --> 00:36:02.921
That is so freaking awesome.
566
00:36:02.961 --> 00:36:03.821
I'm like, good for you.
567
00:36:03.841 --> 00:36:04.422
Let's go, bro.
568
00:36:04.442 --> 00:36:05.082
That's awesome.
569
00:36:05.122 --> 00:36:06.282
He's like, thanks for responding.
570
00:36:06.762 --> 00:36:07.642
Good for you, bro.
571
00:36:08.143 --> 00:36:09.523
It's not a competition against me.
572
00:36:10.363 --> 00:36:11.865
You're the only competition, right?
573
00:36:11.905 --> 00:36:13.667
It's just simply you versus you.
574
00:36:13.727 --> 00:36:21.237
And so the questions I ask them are just for clarity in what they want, because your version of success and happiness will be completely different than mine.
575
00:36:21.277 --> 00:36:21.617
And that's...
576
00:36:22.667 --> 00:36:23.468
totally allowed.
577
00:36:23.668 --> 00:36:24.829
That's totally okay.
578
00:36:25.189 --> 00:36:28.252
But most people don't even ask themselves those questions because it's hard.
579
00:36:28.512 --> 00:36:29.673
It's hard to sit with their thoughts.
580
00:36:29.693 --> 00:36:30.894
That's why most people stay busy.
581
00:36:30.914 --> 00:36:32.195
They're constantly blasting music.
582
00:36:32.215 --> 00:36:34.738
They're constantly going places, distracting themselves.
583
00:36:34.798 --> 00:36:37.160
But the silence is where all the answers are at.
584
00:36:37.900 --> 00:36:45.567
You know, we've all had those moments in life where that voice in your head, call it what you want to, but that voice in your head said, don't go down that street.
585
00:36:47.328 --> 00:36:49.891
Go left, go back and check the freezer again.
586
00:36:50.986 --> 00:36:53.967
You didn't come up with that on your own, but the voice was in your head.
587
00:36:54.387 --> 00:36:58.108
And then you go action that thing and it turns out that you benefited from it.
588
00:36:58.749 --> 00:37:02.990
And we all have had those experiences where that voice came into our head that said, don't do that.
589
00:37:03.870 --> 00:37:06.211
And you said, nah, I'm going to do it anyway.
590
00:37:06.431 --> 00:37:07.532
And it didn't work out for you.
591
00:37:08.192 --> 00:37:08.492
So...
592
00:37:09.906 --> 00:37:21.217
The only way I can hear that voice is if I'm kind of sitting still, if I'm not drowning out the voice with negative self-talk, completely external, constant simulation of things, right?
593
00:37:21.537 --> 00:37:27.523
Whether that's, you know, substances, music, media, literally anything that drains our mind.
594
00:37:29.627 --> 00:37:34.288
And you can do those things if you like people like working with background music.
595
00:37:34.368 --> 00:37:43.850
That's totally cool if you are allowing it to put you in a state where you're thinking and that is just the mechanism that kind of triggers the thinking to occur.
596
00:37:44.670 --> 00:37:50.291
But most people will only attach themselves to the external things because this is the most important thing.
597
00:37:50.331 --> 00:37:55.152
This is external life, which is not true in my life, not true in my eyes.
598
00:37:55.212 --> 00:37:56.852
And it's taken a lot of time to do that.
599
00:37:57.877 --> 00:38:02.740
What does a healthy warrior look like in everyday life?
600
00:38:02.760 --> 00:38:05.261
I know without a doubt I'm called for more in life.
601
00:38:05.882 --> 00:38:07.042
Do I know what that means?
602
00:38:07.543 --> 00:38:08.023
Not a clue.
603
00:38:08.663 --> 00:38:09.444
I have zero clue.
604
00:38:09.484 --> 00:38:11.665
But I know that I'm called for more in life.
605
00:38:14.287 --> 00:38:21.831
I can only fulfill that mission if I face the things that I know I'm avoiding.
606
00:38:24.811 --> 00:38:32.480
when I come home and I'm guilty because I told me, I used to tell my family, I got to do all this work still in my own business that I'm creating.
607
00:38:33.161 --> 00:38:34.102
I got to do this.
608
00:38:34.202 --> 00:38:36.345
No, I get to do this, you know?
609
00:38:36.485 --> 00:38:36.946
And so, I,
610
00:38:38.239 --> 00:38:43.163
Changing how I show up and changing myself changed my environment.
611
00:38:43.183 --> 00:38:47.767
So the environment that I want to see on the outside of me, I have to become on the inside.
612
00:38:47.827 --> 00:38:49.008
And I'm not a perfect person.
613
00:38:49.168 --> 00:38:51.670
I don't preach perfectionism.
614
00:38:52.190 --> 00:38:54.452
I teach and preach progress, right?
615
00:38:55.013 --> 00:38:56.254
Inches make feet.
616
00:38:56.334 --> 00:39:00.177
You know, I'm not just going to go start a new task and be the best at it.
617
00:39:00.317 --> 00:39:04.080
I'll be the best at it over time or I'll be pretty dang close or pretty good.
618
00:39:04.180 --> 00:39:05.802
But I'll be significantly better than I started.
619
00:39:06.678 --> 00:39:08.879
but I'm gonna have to suck and struggle and suffer through it.
620
00:39:09.359 --> 00:39:15.161
So a healthy warrior to me is someone who is emotionally, mentally, physically, and spiritually stable.
621
00:39:15.881 --> 00:39:18.962
Someone who is like, you know what, I'm stressed up, I need to take a break.
622
00:39:19.002 --> 00:39:20.763
Someone who's not afraid to ask for help.
623
00:39:21.163 --> 00:39:26.465
You know, the warrior class today, you know, a lot of my amazing friends that have taken their life over the years,
624
00:39:27.305 --> 00:39:28.465
They got out of the military.
625
00:39:28.605 --> 00:39:32.186
They were the most savage dudes I've ever met in my life.
626
00:39:32.206 --> 00:39:35.147
They were great everything, not just on the battlefield.
627
00:39:35.167 --> 00:39:35.907
Great everything.
628
00:39:36.507 --> 00:39:39.608
Teammates, friends, parents, husbands.
629
00:39:40.208 --> 00:39:40.828
And they get out.
630
00:39:40.868 --> 00:39:41.868
They have the jobs.
631
00:39:41.888 --> 00:39:42.929
They're making the money.
632
00:39:42.989 --> 00:39:47.090
They still have the great family, the children, the dogs that love them.
633
00:39:47.490 --> 00:39:49.210
And then they take their life.
634
00:39:51.351 --> 00:39:54.231
And I'm like, dang, so-and-so took their life?
635
00:39:54.331 --> 00:39:56.732
So-and-so was so much stronger than me.
636
00:39:59.142 --> 00:40:00.522
And I ask myself, how is that?
637
00:40:00.602 --> 00:40:01.102
Why is that?
638
00:40:01.122 --> 00:40:01.663
Are they weak?
639
00:40:02.163 --> 00:40:03.263
Definitely don't think they're weak.
640
00:40:04.303 --> 00:40:12.845
But that just goes to show you that you can avoid you as long as you want to, but one day it's going to catch up to you.
641
00:40:13.165 --> 00:40:15.445
You're going to face it now or then.
642
00:40:16.066 --> 00:40:20.607
So my question to people is like, why would you go through your entire life?
643
00:40:20.627 --> 00:40:22.747
Because you're going to suffer no matter what you do in this life.
644
00:40:24.194 --> 00:40:27.015
No one makes that out of this thing on Unlexcape.
645
00:40:27.175 --> 00:40:28.496
Nobody, right?
646
00:40:29.236 --> 00:40:33.578
So why would you suffer without any purpose or intention?
647
00:40:34.999 --> 00:40:39.301
Why would you choose that over suffering with purpose and suffering with intention?
648
00:40:39.321 --> 00:40:45.243
Like, oh, dude, I know to be a better husband for my wife and my family because I want to be because she deserves it.
649
00:40:45.263 --> 00:40:48.045
But I want, I know I'm not this guy I've been.
650
00:40:48.998 --> 00:40:50.718
Well, that's going to be super hard.
651
00:40:51.159 --> 00:40:52.059
It's going to suck.
652
00:40:52.679 --> 00:40:56.460
And it's not, I'm going to change my mindset instantly, but it's not going to change my environment.
653
00:40:56.540 --> 00:41:08.303
My wife is still going to think I'm still that same turd, still that same dude that's too busy, too, too, you know, I used to be super, maybe I am, but it's a little different now, but I used to be super task-oriented.
654
00:41:08.343 --> 00:41:09.804
Like, I got to have a goal.
655
00:41:10.164 --> 00:41:11.124
I got to make money.
656
00:41:11.464 --> 00:41:13.465
I got, I got, I got, I got to do all these things.
657
00:41:14.345 --> 00:41:15.745
Well, just when I wanted to start changing,
658
00:41:18.461 --> 00:41:20.245
my environment didn't catch up instantly.
659
00:41:20.285 --> 00:41:21.127
That takes time.
660
00:41:21.929 --> 00:41:26.058
Because even though my outside world is a perception of my own internal reality,
661
00:41:27.925 --> 00:41:32.247
The outside world takes time to catch up to what you're working on on the inside.
662
00:41:32.547 --> 00:41:35.928
And so the only thing that I can control is my thoughts and my actions.
663
00:41:36.248 --> 00:41:44.692
And I don't know, man, I'm just super proud of myself because statistically speaking, I shouldn't be here for a lot of reasons.
664
00:41:45.192 --> 00:41:46.733
But I also know the weight that comes with that.
665
00:41:46.753 --> 00:41:53.555
And like, you know, one of my main goals is that like, I hate my friends or people that I don't even know military not taking their lives.
666
00:41:54.236 --> 00:41:54.596
I hate it.
667
00:41:55.356 --> 00:41:56.797
It hurts so many people.
668
00:41:57.678 --> 00:42:04.484
And the more people I've talked to that have been in those situations that have been on the brink of taking their own life or have took it, but it wasn't successful.
669
00:42:04.984 --> 00:42:05.484
Thank goodness.
670
00:42:05.684 --> 00:42:06.705
Hearing their mindsets.
671
00:42:06.785 --> 00:42:08.487
And it was like, it was never even planned.
672
00:42:09.027 --> 00:42:10.408
It wasn't even like a planned thing.
673
00:42:10.669 --> 00:42:11.589
It was just a decision.
674
00:42:11.609 --> 00:42:13.191
They decided to wake up and go do it.
675
00:42:13.986 --> 00:42:18.149
And I'm like, wow, that's incredibly in-depth.
676
00:42:18.249 --> 00:42:20.011
And that blew my mind away.
677
00:42:20.551 --> 00:42:31.840
So then that tells me, well, if I'm not feeding myself some type of positive outlook on a daily basis, every 24-hour period, I have to reset myself to remind myself who I am and what I'm doing.
678
00:42:32.100 --> 00:42:37.365
Even if that just means who I am today is a dude who's going to not yell at my kid,
679
00:42:37.865 --> 00:42:38.966
you know, or raise my voice.
680
00:42:39.266 --> 00:42:44.271
And what I'm doing today is I'm going to do at least one task that I know I'm capable of doing.
681
00:42:45.653 --> 00:42:46.694
That could be your whole mission.
682
00:42:46.714 --> 00:42:51.479
But if I don't remind myself or reset myself that every day, then I'm susceptible to the outside world.
683
00:42:52.139 --> 00:42:53.801
And I believe the spiritual warfare is,
684
00:42:55.040 --> 00:43:03.729
And if you and me are connected to the thing that created everything, that means I'm pretty powerful.
685
00:43:03.810 --> 00:43:13.300
But the more that I'm deluded, the more I'm distracted, the more I'm like beat down, especially by myself, because no one can defeat me by myself because I have to choose that.
686
00:43:14.433 --> 00:43:19.499
And the more that I'm programmed to view that way, the more I'll keep on feeling like a prisoner to my own potential.
687
00:43:19.559 --> 00:43:23.263
And I don't know what my potential is, but I know I care about helping people.
688
00:43:23.824 --> 00:43:29.891
I know that I want to live a happy life where I'm genuinely happy because I've had the dream life for years.
689
00:43:30.491 --> 00:43:35.296
And man, I remember being outside my house complaining about how my life sucks, dude.
690
00:43:36.087 --> 00:43:37.889
I have like the dream Instagram life.
691
00:43:37.929 --> 00:43:39.491
I have beautiful property.
692
00:43:39.531 --> 00:43:40.492
I got a garden.
693
00:43:40.512 --> 00:43:42.114
I got deer walking everywhere.
694
00:43:42.134 --> 00:43:43.715
I can shoot guns anytime I want to.
695
00:43:43.996 --> 00:43:47.920
And I've told myself, man, I'm not happy.
696
00:43:49.334 --> 00:43:50.895
Had nothing to do with my outside world.
697
00:43:50.915 --> 00:43:55.617
It had everything to do with how I was viewing not only myself, but the world that I was actually living in.
698
00:43:56.618 --> 00:43:59.019
And that takes time to pull these shades off your eyes.
699
00:43:59.239 --> 00:44:01.520
Because they say new levels, new devils.
700
00:44:02.120 --> 00:44:05.222
And so it's like growing, it's an evolutionary thing.
701
00:44:05.242 --> 00:44:06.703
It takes time.
702
00:44:07.103 --> 00:44:11.245
I used to be super addicted to adult content, okay?
703
00:44:11.645 --> 00:44:18.509
When I made the conscious decision to stop that, it took me like a year and a half, almost two years to really kick it.
704
00:44:19.209 --> 00:44:22.731
Doesn't mean that I wasn't trying on week three or month three.
705
00:44:23.472 --> 00:44:24.793
I was trying the whole time.
706
00:44:24.833 --> 00:44:28.475
But once you decide to go on a path, you're going to get on the bicycle.
707
00:44:28.555 --> 00:44:29.436
You're going to fall off.
708
00:44:29.456 --> 00:44:30.897
You're going to get back on and do pretty good.
709
00:44:30.917 --> 00:44:32.057
But then you're going to fall off.
710
00:44:32.458 --> 00:44:34.499
Then you're going to go on a jump and you're not going to land it.
711
00:44:34.519 --> 00:44:35.680
Then you're going to go on a jump again.
712
00:44:35.700 --> 00:44:36.340
You're going to land it.
713
00:44:36.400 --> 00:44:37.301
Then you're going to turn.
714
00:44:37.321 --> 00:44:38.061
You're going to fall.
715
00:44:38.381 --> 00:44:39.182
Then you're going to turn.
716
00:44:39.202 --> 00:44:40.423
Then you're going to be successful.
717
00:44:41.243 --> 00:44:44.105
It takes time because what got you here won't get you there.
718
00:44:44.746 --> 00:44:46.747
And life is not a straight line.
719
00:44:47.267 --> 00:44:47.808
Death is.
720
00:44:48.795 --> 00:44:49.759
But life is not.
721
00:44:50.542 --> 00:44:53.936
No matter what we do or fail to do, we're going to die one day.
722
00:44:54.499 --> 00:44:56.279
I think you make such a good point though.
723
00:44:56.519 --> 00:45:03.601
A lot of people, whether it's with the adult content or anything there, they, they think it's one thing like, Oh, one thing has to happen and then I'll stop.
724
00:45:04.341 --> 00:45:06.441
One thing has to happen and then I'll be a better person.
725
00:45:06.861 --> 00:45:09.322
And what you're saying is like, no, man, it's the journey.
726
00:45:10.142 --> 00:45:12.202
And you have to be in it the whole time.
727
00:45:12.242 --> 00:45:13.563
And it's not always going to be great.
728
00:45:13.663 --> 00:45:17.383
It's going to suck sometimes, but it's the process that gets you there.
729
00:45:17.423 --> 00:45:20.984
Not, Oh, just having a kid is going to make you a better person or just, you know, just
730
00:45:21.824 --> 00:45:25.526
one day you wake up and you're just like, oh, I'm just not going to do adult content.
731
00:45:25.546 --> 00:45:31.548
It's like, no, you might still have that bubbling up in you and it's going to take some time.
732
00:45:31.988 --> 00:45:34.209
There's a question I always ask everybody at the closing.
733
00:45:34.729 --> 00:45:40.751
If you could wave a magic wand and bring back one ancestral practice, what would that be and why?
734
00:45:46.073 --> 00:45:46.433
Nature.
735
00:45:46.793 --> 00:45:47.834
I would bring back...
736
00:45:48.815 --> 00:45:51.556
the ability to connect with nature.
737
00:45:52.176 --> 00:45:54.116
Speaking from experience, I reject it.
738
00:45:54.176 --> 00:45:55.717
I lived in nature my entire service.
739
00:45:56.417 --> 00:46:00.038
I rejected it when my wife and I moved into a van and traveled around the United States.
740
00:46:00.078 --> 00:46:02.218
Cause I'm like, I don't want to be cold, wet, and miserable.
741
00:46:02.258 --> 00:46:03.919
I did that for 15 plus years.
742
00:46:04.419 --> 00:46:06.699
But that was the fear of change.
743
00:46:07.260 --> 00:46:10.040
Nature heals, creation is nature.
744
00:46:10.420 --> 00:46:16.822
Nature, if you look at nature, the grass, the trees, the birds, the bees, they don't care about politics.
745
00:46:17.362 --> 00:46:18.703
They don't know what a war is.
746
00:46:19.203 --> 00:46:22.844
They don't know what a debt to income ratio is.
747
00:46:24.005 --> 00:46:26.086
There's no kitchen that bees go to.
748
00:46:27.146 --> 00:46:29.367
There's no grocery store for deer.
749
00:46:29.747 --> 00:46:30.667
Oh, but yeah, it's everywhere.
750
00:46:30.687 --> 00:46:36.510
Of course, because they find a way and nature provides, nature heals.
751
00:46:36.710 --> 00:46:41.132
And I mean, I think that I was reading a study like three days into nature, we set your nervous system.
752
00:46:41.932 --> 00:46:46.997
And your nervous system is extremely crucial to your happiness and fulfillment.
753
00:46:47.538 --> 00:46:50.501
You know, if I give you a compliment, James, you're an amazing guy, dude.
754
00:46:50.521 --> 00:46:52.003
You're like one of the best guys I know.
755
00:46:52.283 --> 00:46:57.448
You might be like, I know this to be true, but inside my insights are really feeling uncomfortable right now.
756
00:46:57.528 --> 00:46:59.330
Like I'm receiving praise or a gift.
757
00:46:59.370 --> 00:47:00.391
It's kind of uncomfortable.
758
00:47:00.852 --> 00:47:02.374
I don't like birthdays because I don't like to be seen.
759
00:47:02.714 --> 00:47:03.615
That's your nervous system.
760
00:47:04.908 --> 00:47:10.653
And when your nervous system's in a fight or flight, you cannot receive the abundance that life has to give you.
761
00:47:11.033 --> 00:47:14.616
So nature, I would say, go out and walk barefoot.
762
00:47:14.756 --> 00:47:21.921
Even if you live in an urban environment, go to the park that's full of like trash can that's overflowing and just walk barefoot or sit barefoot.
763
00:47:22.362 --> 00:47:24.764
You know, sit in silence without music.
764
00:47:25.184 --> 00:47:28.987
Go walk in nature, listen to birds, reset your mind.
765
00:47:29.267 --> 00:47:32.310
You can't find clarity in a place that brings you chaos.
766
00:47:32.850 --> 00:47:51.637
So you're not going to find clarity in the house that is absolutely chaotic for you, but you can go outside and tune out the world and just sit and breathe and look at what has existed before you and will surely exist beyond you because that is longevity and that is the truth, right?
767
00:47:51.877 --> 00:47:55.559
Everything else that we touch and make, it crumbles and it dies and it goes away.
768
00:47:56.059 --> 00:47:59.860
Nature has standed the dawn of time since creation.
769
00:48:00.160 --> 00:48:01.421
That should tell you a lot.
770
00:48:01.841 --> 00:48:02.961
That's why I love the outdoors.
771
00:48:02.981 --> 00:48:07.602
I love hunting, camping, campfires, eating steak with my hands, walking barefoot.
772
00:48:08.023 --> 00:48:13.324
My kids, he's four, he's constantly telling me, Dad, my feet are so much stronger than yours.
773
00:48:14.404 --> 00:48:16.665
His feet are stronger than mine to a certain degree.
774
00:48:16.945 --> 00:48:23.286
But I remember seven years ago when I first got out of the military, I started walking barefoot because my wife's always barefoot.
775
00:48:23.726 --> 00:48:24.967
I couldn't even walk on rocks.
776
00:48:25.007 --> 00:48:26.167
It was like too painful.
777
00:48:27.255 --> 00:48:35.578
Now I can walk on rocks, I'm not saying it's not painful, some rocks are more painful than others, obviously, but I can do things with my feet that I was never able to do before.
778
00:48:36.659 --> 00:48:51.465
And when you think about what your feet are able to connect with the earth and then how we trap them with socks and rubber and all these other things, when you think about how we're just constantly getting removed, there's always a layer between healing growth
779
00:48:52.463 --> 00:48:53.443
and like where we're at.
780
00:48:54.104 --> 00:48:55.564
And we create that for a reason.
781
00:48:56.004 --> 00:49:01.827
And call it whatever, call it conspiracy, call it just like, hey bro, we gotta wear shoes and socks, sure.
782
00:49:02.547 --> 00:49:06.528
But even people when sandals were invented back in the day, you know what they were doing?
783
00:49:06.649 --> 00:49:08.369
They were sleeping under the stars.
784
00:49:08.789 --> 00:49:10.570
They were having fires.
785
00:49:10.590 --> 00:49:13.471
They were being around healing modalities.
786
00:49:13.491 --> 00:49:14.472
They were fellowshipping.
787
00:49:14.492 --> 00:49:18.433
They were conversing all outside, all in nature.
788
00:49:18.833 --> 00:49:20.714
They would sleep on mats on the ground
789
00:49:21.094 --> 00:49:24.517
and ground themselves and reconnect to the earth and reset their baselines.
790
00:49:24.577 --> 00:49:28.220
And they didn't know what baseline was back then, but you know what they weren't stressed out about?
791
00:49:28.701 --> 00:49:30.582
Oh my God, my boss is the worst.
792
00:49:30.843 --> 00:49:35.246
You know, Costco was the parking lot of Costco was just so chaotic today.
793
00:49:35.767 --> 00:49:38.729
They didn't have those things and we're exposed to so much.
794
00:49:39.170 --> 00:49:41.311
And it just completely shocks fear.
795
00:49:41.331 --> 00:49:41.432
Fear.
796
00:49:42.410 --> 00:49:44.491
distraction, delusion.
797
00:49:44.751 --> 00:49:45.712
Someone's better than you.
798
00:49:45.752 --> 00:49:46.792
Someone has more money than you.
799
00:49:46.812 --> 00:49:50.274
You suck if you're not 21 and own four properties in a Lamborghini.
800
00:49:50.614 --> 00:49:56.637
You know, like there's all these things that are out there and you have to ask yourself, why is it so abundant?
801
00:49:57.695 --> 00:50:01.379
And why does everything point to keeping me away from my truth?
802
00:50:01.679 --> 00:50:04.402
That is the craziest thing that I just don't understand.
803
00:50:04.522 --> 00:50:10.628
But conversations like this, you know, not saying that I have the answers, not even saying what I'm saying is the truth for someone else.
804
00:50:10.788 --> 00:50:15.733
But for someone out there, it will at least stimulate a pivot in the way they think.
805
00:50:16.214 --> 00:50:17.135
It's like mission planning.
806
00:50:17.155 --> 00:50:20.018
When we plan missions, we come up with like three courses of action.
807
00:50:21.092 --> 00:50:29.777
One's the simplest, one's going to be the one that gives us the most bang for a buck, and one's the dream mission.
808
00:50:30.057 --> 00:50:33.979
And out of three of those courses of action, we're going to create the best one.
809
00:50:34.320 --> 00:50:36.721
But it takes a bad idea to stimulate a good idea.
810
00:50:36.841 --> 00:50:44.125
And if you can go on that journey of the unknown, could you imagine not only what you can change for your life, but the other people that you can bring along with you?
811
00:50:44.325 --> 00:50:45.626
That to me is the most powerful thing.
812
00:50:46.025 --> 00:50:47.306
No, hands down, hands down.
813
00:50:47.666 --> 00:50:50.827
If someone wants to work with you, you have a couple programs, right?
814
00:50:50.847 --> 00:50:54.908
Yeah, so I created, I basically created, it's called Reclaim Your Fire.
815
00:50:55.008 --> 00:50:57.810
I created this like six week program.
816
00:50:58.290 --> 00:50:59.090
I've seen the internet.
817
00:50:59.170 --> 00:51:05.733
Everybody wants a quick fix, but if you give yourself six weeks, one week objective at a time, you can do a lot of damage for yourself in a positive way.
818
00:51:06.673 --> 00:51:12.875
So people, they want to work with me, they can reach out to me on my website, which is wedefythenorm.com.
819
00:51:12.895 --> 00:51:13.976
That's my personal brand.
820
00:51:14.956 --> 00:51:32.308
Uh, or Cody Alford.com, uh, which basically kind of like talks about like the speaking events that I do, uh, some of the other philosophies and like writings and my email list that I, that I hopefully do a decent job, like giving people not just inspiration, but the empowerment that they deserve.
821
00:51:32.789 --> 00:51:36.051
Cause it's not like this is Cody's way, but it's like, yo bro, find your own way.
822
00:51:36.191 --> 00:51:37.672
Just know that you can do it too.
823
00:51:38.132 --> 00:51:39.193
That's really the best way.
824
00:51:40.268 --> 00:51:40.548
Awesome.
825
00:51:40.748 --> 00:51:41.629
Well, thank you, Cody.
826
00:51:42.289 --> 00:51:47.491
Truly inspiring what you've done, what you've done with it, and what you continue to do.
827
00:51:47.812 --> 00:51:48.032
Yeah.
828
00:51:48.172 --> 00:51:49.252
Really appreciate your time.
829
00:51:49.652 --> 00:51:51.933
Thank you all for joining us on this journey.
830
00:51:53.134 --> 00:51:55.115
Ask those questions, Cody nailed it, right?
831
00:51:55.135 --> 00:52:05.400
You got to ask those questions, have the courage to ask the questions and be in the suck because it's not always easy, but the way there is to stay curious as usual.
832
00:52:05.540 --> 00:52:07.421
So thank you again, and we'll see you next time.
833
00:52:08.321 --> 00:52:11.742
Thank you so much for joining me on Everyday Ancestral.
834
00:52:12.562 --> 00:52:16.783
If you enjoyed this episode, hit subscribe so you don't miss the next one.
835
00:52:17.143 --> 00:52:22.064
You can find the show notes, links, and resources mentioned at eatpluck.com.
836
00:52:22.104 --> 00:52:27.225
That's E-A-T-P-L-U-C-K dot com.
837
00:52:27.945 --> 00:52:32.826
And hey, if you know someone who'd get something out of this, share it with them too.
838
00:52:33.326 --> 00:52:37.347
Stay curious, live well, and keep it ancestral.