How Queer Teens Are Finding Belonging Through Creativity and Community

Heather Hester
00:01:25
Welcome to Just Breathe Parenting youg LGBTQ Team, the podcast transforming the conversation around loving and raising an LGBTQ child.

Heather Hester
00:01:38
My name is Heather Hester and I am so grateful you are here.

Heather Hester
00:01:42
I want you to take a deep breath and know that for the time we are together, you are in the safety of the Just Breathe nest.

Heather Hester
00:01:52
Whether today's show is an amazing guest or me sharing stories, resources, strategies, or lessons I've learned along our journey, I want you to feel like we're just hanging out at a coffee shop having a cozy chat.

Heather Hester
00:02:09
Most of all, I want you to remember that that wherever you are on this journey right now, in this moment in time, you are not alone.

Speaker B
00:02:27
Welcome back, my friends.

Speaker B
00:02:29
If this is your first time here, I am delighted you found Just Breathe.

Speaker B
00:02:34
We talk about all things loving, raising and empowering LGBTQ people.

Speaker B
00:02:41
But at the core, it is a space for you to take a breath, quiet all of the noise around you, and just be.

Speaker B
00:02:51
I think it is always so special when I get to talk to teens and young adults and share their voices with you.

Speaker B
00:02:59
Like the last episode with Connor and Gray, this episode shares not only beautiful insight, but also opportunity.

Speaker B
00:03:08
A few months ago, I was delighted when Celeste Lassan reached out to talk about the Future Perfect Project.

Speaker B
00:03:16
Celeste was one of the original founders of the Trevor Project and has spent their life advocating and creating safe spaces for LGBTQ adolescents, teens and young adults.

Speaker B
00:03:30
In simple terms, the Future Perfect Project amplifies the voices of queer youth.

Speaker B
00:03:36
While lawmakers are working overtime to pass laws and propose measures to limit the self expression of queer youth in schools and communities, the Future Perfect Project is encouraging the next generation to speak their truth and sing their songs of tomorrow.

Speaker B
00:03:55
The Future Perfect Project envisions a world where every young person feels safe, seen and celebrated in their home and their community.

Speaker B
00:04:07
They believe that the self expression of LGBTQIA youth is a declaration of a better future for us all.

Speaker B
00:04:16
To amplify queer young voices, they produce and facilitate creative workshops, media projects, and live performances of original work created by and about the current generation of LGBTQIA youth.

Speaker B
00:04:32
They amplify in three ways.

Speaker B
00:04:35
They facilitate spaces and artistic opportunities both online and in person.

Speaker B
00:04:40
Where queer youth create honest work, they utilize their resources to produce the work they create and broadcast it to a wider audience.

Speaker B
00:04:52
Please note that if this sounds like something your team may be interested in, please reach out.

Speaker B
00:04:59
Without further ado, I am so, so delighted to bring you our conversation.

Speaker B
00:05:06
Welcome back to Just Breathe, everyone.

Speaker B
00:05:08
I am so happy you are here and I.

Speaker B
00:05:11
That's right.

Speaker B
00:05:14
I am so Thrilled about the people that you get to hear from today.

Speaker B
00:05:21
And this.

Speaker B
00:05:22
I am just going to be quiet and let them talk because there is such awesomeness that is coming your way.

Speaker B
00:05:28
And you are going to get to learn straight from our kids.

Speaker B
00:05:32
Like, this is the stuff that you all ask.

Speaker B
00:05:35
Questions we want to know, we want to understand.

Speaker B
00:05:37
Well, here are two people who are so kind and generous enough to share their time to come on the show and talk about what they do, which is pretty darn cool.

Speaker B
00:05:51
So as I already, you know, introduced in the.

Speaker B
00:05:55
In the little bit of the introduction, but I'm going to give the floor here first to Lily and to Eric, who are two of the hosts of I'm Feeling Queer Today.

Speaker B
00:06:06
And I would love first.

Speaker B
00:06:08
Well, thank you first for being here, but I would love for you both to just talk a little bit about the podcast and how you came to get involved with it.

Lily
00:06:21
I'm Lily.

Lily
00:06:22
The way that I became involved with this was how I became involved with most of the things in my life.

Lily
00:06:27
It was a little bit of an accident.

Lily
00:06:29
In, I believe, The June of 2020, the future perfect Project, which is the organization that produces this podcast, transferred all their programming online because there was a little thing called Covid happening.

Lily
00:06:41
And a friend's mother who was a librarian told them to come to these workshops, and they said, I don't really want to, but this seems like something you'd be into.

Lily
00:06:49
And sure enough, four years here I am very much was something that I'd be into.

Lily
00:06:54
I have done the writers workshops.

Lily
00:06:56
I've done their performance workshops.

Lily
00:06:57
I've done their portfolio project, and then I helped them pilot this podcast program.

Lily
00:07:03
And then we did season one.

Lily
00:07:04
Season two is coming in the fall, and I'm still here.

Lily
00:07:07
And I'm so glad that they've had me.

Lily
00:07:09
Wonderful.

Lily
00:07:10
I never shut up about it.

Lily
00:07:12
I tell everybody about this organization.

Lily
00:07:13
It has changed my life.

Lily
00:07:15
It has saved my life.

Lily
00:07:16
It has made me into the person I am today.

Lily
00:07:18
Right now I'm in school pursuing degrees and other things that they taught me to do here.

Lily
00:07:22
So the impact cannot be understated.

Lily
00:07:26
And it's all free.

Lily
00:07:27
And we were even compensated for our work on this program.

Lily
00:07:30
So access to that kind of education and that kind of support, frankly, life changing.

Lily
00:07:36
And we have so many talented young people in this program, and I'm so grateful to have met them.

Lily
00:07:42
That was a lot of words.

Lily
00:07:43
Eric, would you like to speak?

Speaker B
00:07:45
I love that now.

Eric
00:07:47
Yeah.

Eric
00:07:48
So my name is Eric.

Eric
00:07:49
I use they.

Eric
00:07:49
Them pronouns.

Eric
00:07:50
And similar to Lily, my involvement with The Future Perfect Project.

Eric
00:07:55
And then subsequently, I'm Feeling Queer Today was a happy little accident, because it was definitely.

Eric
00:08:01
I was totally not aware of the Future Perfect Project.

Eric
00:08:04
But then in spring of 2023, some of the Future Perfect Project mentors like Celeste and Ryan and Kiko came, and with my.

Eric
00:08:15
With students in my school district, we did a little writing workshop in person, which was so amazing and wonderful.

Eric
00:08:20
But that opened my eyes to the wonderful world of the Future Perfect Project.

Eric
00:08:24
And I got involved with some of their online arts programming, like Lily mentioned, with, like, the Writers Room and the portfolio development project, and all of that just kind of allowed me to explore myself as a writer and as a speaker and just allowed for a lot of expression that I didn't know that I could be capable of before.

Eric
00:08:45
And when it comes to I'm Feeling Queer Today, specifically, I did jump in a little bit midway through the production of our first season.

Eric
00:08:52
But I think that the integration into this community and this cohort was so wonderful and seamless because of just how open and welcoming and warm everyone is.

Eric
00:09:03
And, yeah, I just really think that everything Future Perfect Project, but especially I'm Feeling Queer Today.

Eric
00:09:08
It's just a really great outlet of, like, queer expression and art and queer joy.

Eric
00:09:13
And, yeah, our goal is kind of just to connect with queer youth across the country, teach people about our experiences, and just kind of share our perspectives.

Eric
00:09:21
And it's all been a really great opportunity.

Eric
00:09:23
And thank you so much for having us here.

Speaker B
00:09:26
My great pleasure.

Speaker B
00:09:27
And, oh, my goodness, you both are so well spoken.

Speaker B
00:09:33
Bravo.

Speaker B
00:09:35
I mean, goodness gracious.

Speaker B
00:09:36
So who, when you're looking for your target market for I'm Feeling Queer Today, are you really looking to speak with other kids that are around your age?

Speaker B
00:09:48
Are you speaking to.

Speaker B
00:09:50
Is it more of like kind of a.

Speaker B
00:09:51
An educational psa?

Speaker B
00:09:53
Like, what are you.

Speaker B
00:09:55
Like, who is your target market?

Lily
00:09:58
In truth, we had many conversations about what our target market was, and I believe what we concurred was whoever happens to stumble across it.

Lily
00:10:07
I think we talk a lot about.

Lily
00:10:11
In the first episode, one of the people that we work with, Alex, talks about how it's a little bit like a digital zine.

Lily
00:10:16
So magazine.

Lily
00:10:17
Like, it's a collage.

Lily
00:10:18
There's bits and pieces so you can tell listening through it.

Lily
00:10:21
A few are educational segments.

Lily
00:10:24
We have one that Claire, another contributor, did at New York Pride last year, where we give, like, a brief, very brief overview of Stonewall and the sort of early gay rights movement, which is more educational.

Lily
00:10:37
But then we also have conversations between our contributors and between guests that I think definitely offer a window into the lives of queer and trans people that might not otherwise be accessible.

Lily
00:10:52
You're like listening in on a conversation between two people that you probably wouldn't encounter if you weren't listening to the podcast.

Lily
00:10:58
So that I think helps young queer people feel seen, feel heard, understand that there are other people going through similar things.

Lily
00:11:08
And in fact, we have a pretty wide age range I think we had from 15 to 24.

Lily
00:11:16
So that's almost a full generational overturn.

Lily
00:11:21
So even within the podcast, our last episode this season was to of our lovely, lovely friends Zoran and Frankie discussing testosterone, so hrt hormone replacement therapy and other like gender affirming care.

Lily
00:11:34
And Frankie recently started T and Zorin's really excited to maybe do that one day.

Lily
00:11:39
So even to connect with one another and sort of envision the futures that we do have that we for a long time weren't told that we have and that we were told wouldn't be happy, they would be tragic and violent and et cetera.

Lily
00:11:54
So to make those connections both with each other and across space and time and maybe to reassure caregivers and young people that there is, there's something good coming, like things are going to be okay again.

Lily
00:12:09
A lot of words, Eric.

Speaker B
00:12:11
I love that.

Eric
00:12:12
Yeah, I mean, like Lily said, I think the short answer is everybody, but the longer answer is, at least for me personally, when I would be sitting down and thinking about what I'd say on the next episode or recording a certain episode on the podcast, I would always think of.

Eric
00:12:27
And I think that a lot of our producers like mentioned this in their segments as well, like making sure that people don't feel alone.

Eric
00:12:34
And so kind of the thought process that I would go through is if one like queer youth is listening to this and they feel connected to the 12 of us who are speaking to them, then that's, I think our goal is accomplished.

Eric
00:12:46
And I think that of course we want to expand to as many people as possible and allow that reach to be expanded and reaching like so many people everywhere.

Eric
00:12:56
But I think that kind of boiling it down to feeling like if we can help just a single person, then we will have succeeded like far beyond like our wildest dreams.

Eric
00:13:04
I think that that's kind of how I try and contextualize it because I think, of course, again, like, expanding to be as big as possible is always the goal, but I think it becomes so much more personal and so much more real when you think, obviously we're having a conversation with each other, but as if the one person listening is also a part of that conversation and just allowing them to have that voice, even if it's not something they can actively use in their daily lives.

Eric
00:13:31
Just knowing that there are spaces, there are people that will accept them and will listen to them.

Eric
00:13:38
And, yeah, I think much like your podcast, we are trying to reach out to kind of our peers.

Eric
00:13:44
So for you, that's the allies and the parents and all the people who want to kind of uplift queer youth in the queer community.

Eric
00:13:49
I think for us, those people are definitely included and more than welcome.

Eric
00:13:54
But I think if we had to narrow it down to one group or one person, it would be that queer child who doesn't necessarily have a chance to be heard and doesn't have a space in which they can express all the things that they want to talk about.

Eric
00:14:06
So whether it's like, mental health or representation, we're just trying to show, like, you're not alone.

Speaker B
00:14:11
Yeah, I love that.

Speaker B
00:14:13
I love that so much.

Speaker B
00:14:15
That is such.

Speaker B
00:14:15
That is the tagline that I always use as well.

Speaker B
00:14:18
So as soon as you said that, I was like, hey, we have the same mission, just different age groups, but really not right.

Speaker B
00:14:25
I mean, I think that it's kind of to your point, like, whoever is listening and is open and curious and wants to.

Speaker B
00:14:35
Like, I think there's two kind of groups, like those who want to learn and understand and hold space, and then those who are feeling like, is there anybody out there who is like me?

Speaker B
00:14:47
Right?

Speaker B
00:14:48
And so I think that's such a beautiful thing that you all are providing, because you might be that very first voice that they're like, oh, my gosh, okay, I can make it through, you know, living in wherever they're living, right?

Speaker B
00:15:01
That might not be accepting and might be difficult, right?

Speaker B
00:15:05
And giving them that, like, okay, I can.

Speaker B
00:15:06
I can do this.

Speaker B
00:15:07
Because this person did it, and this person did it, and what a gift you all are giving and giving of yourselves.

Speaker B
00:15:20
And I think there's something so special about being your age, because, my gosh, when I was your age, like, being as vulnerable as you all are being, and as just like, here's my experience, and I'm offering it as a gift to you and as a like, so if there's anybody else that's having the same experience or can see, like, a piece of themselves and me, like, here it is.

Speaker B
00:15:44
And bravo to you for doing that.

Speaker B
00:15:48
That's so.

Speaker B
00:15:49
Like, the number of lives that you are saving is extraordinary.

Speaker B
00:15:54
So thank you.

Speaker B
00:15:57
Really.

Speaker B
00:15:58
Thank you.

Speaker B
00:15:59
And I still, like, seriously, I've been doing this for seven years.

Speaker B
00:16:02
I still cry literally almost every episode.

Speaker B
00:16:05
I.

Speaker B
00:16:06
This is what I look like.

Speaker B
00:16:07
I'm almost crying.

Speaker B
00:16:08
Like, I don't know why I ever put makeup on people.

Speaker B
00:16:10
All my people know that.

Speaker B
00:16:11
They're like, here she goes.

Speaker B
00:16:12
Yep, the tears are coming.

Speaker B
00:16:14
Yep, here they come.

Speaker B
00:16:16
At some point, I might stop crying.

Speaker B
00:16:20
I just feel so excited and lucky to be here so really quick, because, Celeste, you've been very quiet, but I want to just have you come talk a little bit, because this is so special to have you here, too.

Speaker B
00:16:36
I will tell you that when you.

Speaker B
00:16:38
When I got your first email, I was so excited.

Speaker B
00:16:42
I literally was like.

Eric
00:16:45
This.

Speaker B
00:16:46
I mean, you're kind of like one of my heroes.

Speaker B
00:16:50
So I'm so delighted that you're here and the number of things that you have done, like the.

Lily
00:16:59
Just.

Speaker B
00:17:00
It's so beautiful.

Speaker B
00:17:02
So I'd love for you to talk just for a couple minutes about, you know, your path from starting, you know, creating the Trevor project to creating future Perfect Project, to all of the beautiful things you've done in your life.

Speaker B
00:17:15
Could you talk a little bit about it?

Celeste
00:17:18
Yeah.

Celeste
00:17:19
Talking a little bit about it is always hard, but talking about it's always a.

Celeste
00:17:24
And I.

Celeste
00:17:24
And I really.

Celeste
00:17:25
I'm here to just create space for them to speak about it, because it's really.

Celeste
00:17:31
I just want to emphasize that the I'm Feeling Queer Today is a podcast that is made by them.

Celeste
00:17:38
And one of the things that moved me so deeply in the very beginning was their commitment to queer joy.

Celeste
00:17:47
When we made the pilot, it was unanimous.

Celeste
00:17:51
They all said, you know, there are enough stories of trauma out there that, like, what we need to do is represent that being queer is a wonderful thing and that not all of us are in trouble.

Celeste
00:18:04
You know, look, it's challenging to be a human being, and.

Celeste
00:18:09
And being queer in many environments is a challenge on top of that.

Celeste
00:18:13
But we wouldn't choose it if it didn't bring us happiness, if it wasn't, you know, something that made more of us.

Celeste
00:18:22
Right.

Celeste
00:18:23
And so I just want to underscore that.

Celeste
00:18:26
That it's a.

Celeste
00:18:27
It's been a joyful experience to really see what I could do about changing the narrative around young people, because we have a certain idea about young people, especially about LGBTQ plus young people, that they're.

Celeste
00:18:43
They're all in trouble.

Celeste
00:18:44
They're suffering.

Celeste
00:18:46
They're.

Celeste
00:18:46
You know, it's.

Celeste
00:18:47
It's.

Celeste
00:18:47
It's traumatic.

Celeste
00:18:48
It's.

Celeste
00:18:49
They're in danger.

Celeste
00:18:50
But there's another narrative that lives right Alongside that, which is that they are extraordinary.

Celeste
00:18:56
And this generation is.

Celeste
00:18:59
I mean, they don't even know it because they're just.

Celeste
00:19:01
They're just being them.

Celeste
00:19:03
But I've had the good fortune of watching Generation, Generation come of age in the past 25 years with the Trevor Project.

Celeste
00:19:14
And in 2017, I just.

Celeste
00:19:16
I was just really floored.

Celeste
00:19:20
I'd been traveling around the country doing a solo show that I had written and performing.

Celeste
00:19:25
I was performing and I always go into schools and.

Celeste
00:19:30
Or have schools come to see the show.

Celeste
00:19:32
And I just noticed something completely different.

Celeste
00:19:36
Their ability to just articulate their own emotional life was brand new.

Celeste
00:19:44
Their connection to each other, their understanding of their own history, their queer history.

Celeste
00:19:49
Their idea that people were coming after them, that was never happened before.

Celeste
00:19:54
Like, the idea that people came before them, you know, and had won these rights for them to be who they are, that nobody ever.

Celeste
00:20:04
That had never happened before.

Celeste
00:20:05
And, you know, for me, my life changed when I told my personal story.

Celeste
00:20:14
I.

Celeste
00:20:15
You know, it was a fictionalized version of me.

Celeste
00:20:17
I called myself Trevor.

Celeste
00:20:19
It was.

Celeste
00:20:20
It was a.

Celeste
00:20:20
It was a piece of a show that I performed live.

Celeste
00:20:23
And then it was made into a film, short film, which won an Academy Award in 1995, which seems so long ago.

Celeste
00:20:31
It's like, my God, it's like ancient times and.

Celeste
00:20:35
But there was something about I.

Celeste
00:20:41
There was something about me telling my personal story that when people go deep inside themselves and pull out a part of themselves, their most vulnerable part, the most terrifying part to.

Celeste
00:20:58
And in 1995, actually talking about my suicide attempt, talking about the fact that I was gay, it was a risk.

Celeste
00:21:09
And fortunately, it was at a moment when people were ready to actually change the narrative.

Celeste
00:21:18
And I have seen the effect that that story has had on the world.

Celeste
00:21:23
And so in 2017, when I was traveling around the country, I thought, okay, it's time for them to tell their story.

Celeste
00:21:33
Like we're.

Celeste
00:21:34
We've told our stories now.

Celeste
00:21:36
It's time for these young people to tell what it's like for them right now to be in this place in history.

Speaker B
00:21:43
Yeah.

Celeste
00:21:44
And tell us what it's like.

Celeste
00:21:47
Because people are always talking about them and they're saying a lot of things that aren't true and they're trying to make certain things true that should never be true.

Celeste
00:22:01
And tv, you see them depicted on TV in ways that I go, not my experience, that's not my experience of young people.

Celeste
00:22:11
So I just made it my business.

Celeste
00:22:14
I reached out to Ryan Amador, who is my co founder of this organization, and I said, let's travel around the country.

Celeste
00:22:24
Let's just go and hear from them.

Celeste
00:22:26
Let's.

Celeste
00:22:26
Let's give them the mic.

Celeste
00:22:29
And so we've done a number of different projects within the future.

Celeste
00:22:34
Perfect project, but I have to say that this one is the most direct, because as I said in the beginning, this I'm Feeling Queer Today is a podcast created by them and for them, and we just really facilitate that happening.

Celeste
00:22:53
That was.

Celeste
00:22:54
Now, that was a lot of words.

Celeste
00:22:55
Lily.

Speaker B
00:22:59
Eric, do you want to say something?

Speaker B
00:23:01
Yeah.

Eric
00:23:02
Yeah, if I may.

Eric
00:23:02
I mean, I definitely think there's no denying, like, how powerful, like, youth voices can be in sharing our stories can be.

Eric
00:23:09
But I did just want to applaud and appreciate and thank both you, Celeste, and you, Heather, like, how powerful it is that both of you have found this platform in this way of not only expressing yourselves, but also uplifting youth.

Eric
00:23:23
Because I think that while, again, like, the power and the depth that we can have when we're connecting with each other can't be understated and can't be ignored, I think that having figures who have changed their perspectives, been able to tell their stories, been able to adapt to a world that has changed so much in its perspectives, especially regarding queer people and queer youth, I think that it's really important and necessary, but also empowering and uplifting that people like you both, in your own unique and powerful ways, have found, like, an outlet to uplift us, but also share your stories because it doesn't go unnoticed and it does mean a lot to us.

Eric
00:24:05
And I think I speak for both of us and plenty of queer youth when I say that.

Speaker B
00:24:10
I love that.

Speaker B
00:24:11
Thank you.

Speaker B
00:24:11
That's so kind.

Speaker B
00:24:14
Well, I mean, you all are why I get up every day.

Speaker B
00:24:18
I mean, a big part of it.

Speaker B
00:24:21
So I just, you know, kind of.

Speaker B
00:24:25
To reiterate what Celeste just said, I mean, one of the things that I find so remarkable about your generation is that, I mean, you have access to so much information and just so much that could, like, just weigh you down or bring you down or, you know, do so many things.

Speaker B
00:24:51
But instead, you are wise and you have become critical thinkers and emotionally just so connected at such young ages and are so articulate.

Speaker B
00:25:07
Holy goodness.

Speaker B
00:25:08
I mean, like, you are able to, like, connect.

Speaker B
00:25:11
It's.

Speaker B
00:25:11
I love watching how, like, connecting to your thoughts collect, connecting to your feelings, connecting to each other, connecting to us in this platform of, you know, we're four little squares.

Speaker B
00:25:22
And yet, you know, here we are, like, so connected.

Speaker B
00:25:25
Right?

Speaker B
00:25:26
I think that's just brilliant that you all are able to do this.

Speaker B
00:25:30
And I tell my kids all the time, like you, your generation is going to change the world because you are all that powerful.

Speaker B
00:25:38
So our job, Celeste and me, is here to, like, hold space for you and just do everything we can to make that possible and continue to make sure that you are seen as human.

Speaker B
00:25:49
Like, that is one of my biggest things, is you are human beings.

Speaker B
00:25:53
And that is, I think, you know, such a powerful piece of what you're doing at I'm feeling queer or on I'm feeling queer today.

Speaker B
00:26:02
Is that humanization, like, keeping that human voice.

Speaker B
00:26:05
It's so powerful.

Speaker B
00:26:08
So bravo.

Speaker B
00:26:10
I know that both of you kind of came into this project from doing, like, initially writing projects and in very different ways, but I'd love just for people to kind of know, like, what are you wanting to do in the world?

Speaker B
00:26:22
Lily said that you're in school.

Speaker B
00:26:23
Eric, are you currently in school?

Speaker B
00:27:20
Like, what is your aspirations, like, outside?

Speaker B
00:27:23
Or what are your aspirations outside of the podcast?

Eric
00:27:27
Would you like to start off Lily again, or would you want to mix it up?

Eric
00:27:32
I'm fine with anything.

Eric
00:27:34
Okay, cool.

Eric
00:27:36
So right now I'm a senior in high school, but I've gone through the arduous process that is college applications and everything related to that.

Eric
00:27:46
So I do have plans to go to school at Vanderbilt next year.

Eric
00:27:51
And, yes, exciting.

Eric
00:27:55
I'm going to be in the school of education.

Eric
00:27:57
So while the specific major within that area is not necessarily decided or determined, I think that something that does really interest me is, like, childhood development and just kind of, like, looking at how youth, like, just evolve as the little beings that they are from, like, preschool to now to, like, Lily and I and everything.

Eric
00:28:17
So I think that that's something that definitely interests me.

Eric
00:28:20
And while obviously that will probably change, I think that definitely ties into all the things that I've done in high school.

Eric
00:28:26
Like speech and debate, for example, is something that I've been super involved in.

Eric
00:28:29
So, like, speaking and writing and advocating is something that I do competitively.

Eric
00:28:35
So it's not just, like, a means of expression.

Eric
00:28:37
But, yeah, it's.

Eric
00:28:40
I think that finding ways to just kind of explore the world, that's kind of my, like, means of operation.

Eric
00:28:47
Like, just kind of looking at how people think and how we interact and everything, like, that is what really interests me.

Eric
00:28:53
So I think whatever I end up doing, because I'm sure that will change and evolve, I really do hope that it can be, like, a means of exploration and just kind of understanding the world, but also myself a little Bit better.

Eric
00:29:05
So as I progress in the world, goals might change, but I think that that little underlying factor will always be there.

Speaker B
00:29:13
I love that.

Lily
00:29:15
I'm going to be honest.

Lily
00:29:17
This is kind of what I wanted to do.

Lily
00:29:19
We might have to cut this.

Lily
00:29:21
So Celeste, yell at me if we have to cut this.

Lily
00:29:23
But this summer, the plan is that I'm going to get to work with Celeste and Emma, I believe, working on a future season of this with young people as a facilitator.

Lily
00:29:33
And that's sort of what I wanted to do.

Lily
00:29:35
From the time I was little, I knew I wanted to help people, and I worked briefly at a summer camp.

Lily
00:29:40
And the most rewarding part of that for me was making connections with young queer people.

Lily
00:29:45
And even then, it's sort of.

Lily
00:29:47
I'm going to sound old, but kind of like what Celeste said was they were so much more free and so much more happy with who they were at such a young age than I remember myself being.

Lily
00:29:57
And that gave me so much hope and also being able to be a person.

Lily
00:30:01
I remember so distinctly a kid came up to me and they were like, I want to be just like you when I grow up.

Lily
00:30:07
And I was like, no, I hope you get to be just like yourself.

Lily
00:30:09
I hope you get to be yourself because you're such an incredible young person already.

Lily
00:30:15
So, in a technical way, I'm going to school for very silly things.

Lily
00:30:18
I'm here for creative writing and film and theater and media.

Lily
00:30:21
I'm prancing around because I love to tell stories and I love to tell queer stories.

Lily
00:30:26
And right now I have some art related to my disabilities in an art exhibit.

Lily
00:30:30
So I feel very privileged to get to go to school to do that sort of thing.

Lily
00:30:34
But I honestly, I think life will take me strange places, as it often takes creative people.

Lily
00:30:40
But I hope I get to continue to do something like this and to help people that have been in situations that I found myself in.

Lily
00:30:48
And I'm so excited to see where that goes.

Speaker B
00:30:52
Yes, I love that.

Speaker B
00:30:54
I love that so much.

Speaker B
00:30:57
And I love just honoring.

Speaker B
00:30:59
Acknowledging and honoring, you know, who you are and what you.

Speaker B
00:31:03
What you feel passionately about and following that.

Speaker B
00:31:07
Right.

Speaker B
00:31:07
And that will change over time.

Speaker B
00:31:09
But both of you, that's just so impressive.

Speaker B
00:31:12
And I say that, you know, again, I say that to my kids all the time.

Speaker B
00:31:15
Like, figure out what you're.

Speaker B
00:31:16
Like, what do you feel passionately about?

Speaker B
00:31:19
Don't go to school to be, you know, whatever, because it'll.

Speaker B
00:31:24
Because of the dollar or because of, you know, the location or because you Know, whatever it happens to be, like, what do you want to do?

Speaker B
00:31:31
Like, what feels good?

Speaker B
00:31:33
And if you have to be in school five or six years because of that, or, or take a break and have no years, whatever that is, whatever it looks like, like, do that.

Speaker B
00:31:41
So I love that for both of you and for everybody listening, what would you like for the people listening to know?

Speaker B
00:31:52
If you could just say, here's one, one thing that I want you to know.

Speaker B
00:31:56
Whether it's about the podcast, whether it's about queer joy, whether it's about, like, what just you wish adults would understand, what would it be?

Lily
00:32:12
I'm processing in real time here, so, so bear, bear with me.

Speaker B
00:32:16
That's okay.

Speaker B
00:32:16
Take as much time as you need.

Lily
00:32:18
Yeah.

Lily
00:32:19
I would first like to acknowledge that if you're listening to this, you're already making an effort and the effort does really matter.

Lily
00:32:26
Even if you're not perfect, you've.

Lily
00:32:27
You've made the effort.

Lily
00:32:28
And that's a really meaningful step.

Lily
00:32:32
If you have a teenager, they might be really angry at you because they're a teenager.

Lily
00:32:38
Not necessarily because they're queer or trans, just because they're a teenager.

Lily
00:32:40
But thank you for taking that step.

Lily
00:32:42
And I hope that you continue to take more and let your child or the children that you're looking after lead you in that process and then guide you there.

Lily
00:32:52
Because they, they do know themselves, maybe more than you think they do, and they need your support and they need your guidance, but they do know who they are.

Lily
00:33:04
Words.

Lily
00:33:05
If I had to say one thing.

Lily
00:33:10
Can I maybe pause and hand this over to.

Speaker B
00:33:13
Absolutely.

Speaker B
00:33:13
Yes, you can totally pause.

Speaker B
00:33:15
We'll come back to you, of course.

Eric
00:33:18
Yeah, I mean, like Lily was saying, I think that just, like, making the effort, like, goes so much farther than it seems on the surface.

Eric
00:33:28
Because I think that just as we as queer youth and queer people in general are on a journey of self discovery and understanding our identities and how that fits into the world and how we're going to navigate, like, the complex world that we live in today, I think that, like, allies and parents especially, but even people who aren't undergoing that same journey still are on, like, a journey of their own.

Eric
00:33:52
And I think that coming to discover not just who you are, but how that fits into supporting your queer child, or how that fits into being more open to your queer sibling or anything like that, I think that that journey is just as complex and just as powerful, but I think that just being open to the fact that, like, arriving at the destination of that journey is not going to Happen quickly, if not ever.

Eric
00:34:19
Because I think that definitely something I've discovered from, like, going so deep into conversations like this or other forms of podcasting or writing is that I am constantly surprising myself by what I have learned and where I'm at and everything.

Eric
00:34:36
Like, even this little paragraph monologue, I'm probably saying things that I've never even thought of before.

Eric
00:34:43
And afterwards, I'm going to sit back and I'm going to be like, huh, I didn't know.

Eric
00:34:47
I thought that, but that's really cool.

Eric
00:34:49
And I think that that kind of sums up the whole idea of being an ally, being a queer person, is that it's like that whole journey never ends.

Eric
00:34:56
And I think that's the most important part.

Eric
00:34:59
But if I were to say one thing, I think it's just try your best, because your best is definitely enough.

Eric
00:35:04
It's more than enough, because there are so many people who don't even take the time to try.

Eric
00:35:09
And I think that trying to, again, discover who you are, how that fits into the world, that is such a large step in and of itself, and that just continuing to try every day, waking up to podcast, to listen to a podcast, to read a book, to talk to someone, that all adds up, and it comes together to create the wonderful people that we all are and that everyone is.

Speaker B
00:35:38
Thank you.

Speaker B
00:35:40
Yeah.

Speaker B
00:35:40
Celeste, do you.

Celeste
00:35:42
I have something that I would love to say to please to parents and to people who are curious.

Celeste
00:35:49
You know, there's a lot of talk about young people and how we're living through a period of great change, especially within the LGBTQ community.

Celeste
00:36:00
Like, it's just a.

Celeste
00:36:01
It's.

Celeste
00:36:02
It's amazing, but it can look from the outside.

Celeste
00:36:07
Like I've often heard people say, oh, they're so confused.

Celeste
00:36:12
They don't know who they are.

Eric
00:36:13
They're.

Celeste
00:36:14
They're changing all the time.

Celeste
00:36:15
And.

Celeste
00:36:16
And I think one of the things that's really important for me to always keep in mind is that it's not confusion, it's curiosity.

Celeste
00:36:25
And that, in fact, this is what young people are supposed to be doing.

Celeste
00:36:30
They're supposed to be applying their curiosity to this living experiment, right?

Celeste
00:36:35
And this is the period of life where they get to really try on who they are, because they know inside who they are.

Celeste
00:36:44
As Lily was saying, you can trust that they know.

Celeste
00:36:49
And when I think back to my experience, you know, when Trevor came out 25 years ago, people did not understand that young people knew their sexuality or their gender.

Celeste
00:37:02
That was not something that was in the world.

Celeste
00:37:07
That was that.

Celeste
00:37:09
That was Something that people came to at that moment and began to understand, oh, maybe that yeah, we've, we know, you know, many of us know from a very, very young age.

Celeste
00:37:21
And the other thing I would really say as you know, the, you know, the research that they've done with the Trevor project is it's all the statistics are there, but a queer young person who has one person in their life who accepts them mitigates self harm, thoughts of suicide by nine times.

Celeste
00:37:49
Just one person can have an enormous effect on a young person and the way that they think about themselves and see that self.

Celeste
00:37:57
So see themselves.

Celeste
00:37:58
So what I would say to anybody is be that one person and be that one person to as many young people as you can possibly be.

Celeste
00:38:06
You don't have to just be to one.

Celeste
00:38:08
It's like, keep your eye out, you know, they're everywhere.

Speaker B
00:38:15
They are, they are.

Speaker B
00:38:17
And it doesn't have to be perfect.

Speaker B
00:38:19
One of you said that.

Speaker B
00:38:20
And I think that's so, so important that perfect is not, is, is not real.

Speaker B
00:38:27
So just be like, be present and be messy.

Speaker B
00:38:33
Just know it's going to be messy and that's beautiful and cool and embrace that and be that person.

Speaker B
00:38:40
Be courageous and be curious.

Speaker B
00:38:43
I think those are two.

Speaker B
00:38:44
You know, being courageous is something that I've definitely learned from my kids and.

Heather Hester
00:38:50
From you all is to do that right.

Speaker B
00:38:55
You know, I, when I was your age, I can't imagine, like I think back and I think I had no idea and not able to even probably articulate like who I was or what I wanted to be or who, you know, all of those things.

Speaker B
00:39:10
So I am just constantly in awe of your, of your courage and your ability to just be the really amazing humans you are.

Speaker B
00:39:22
So thank you.

Speaker B
00:39:23
Thank you so much.

Speaker B
00:39:26
Before we wrap up, I just want to give you an opportunity to, if you want to plug anything, if you want to say one more thing, you know, tell your favorite episode that you want everyone to first listen to when they jump on to listen.

Speaker B
00:39:43
Whatever the floor is yours.

Speaker B
00:39:46
Eric, would you like to go first?

Speaker B
00:39:49
Sure.

Eric
00:39:51
You think in terms of plugging things I would say listen to, I'm feeling queer today.

Eric
00:39:55
It will be life changing and wonderful and amazing and even if you know about everything we're discussing, I think the unique perspectives of each and every one of us comes across and you will discover so much more than you might think.

Eric
00:40:08
And I mean I, I don't want to say listen to every episode, but listen to every episode because I feel like the whole journey that we went on in like Evolving as how the processes we underwent to record the episodes and the discussions that we had.

Eric
00:40:24
You can kind of feel that as you go through all the episodes.

Eric
00:40:26
And I think they're organized in such a way that it creates this little.

Eric
00:40:29
This timeline and this narrative that you get to explore with the 12 of us and just kind of get to know all of our perspectives, but also all of the.

Eric
00:40:37
All of the joy and all of the ugly and all of the.

Eric
00:40:39
Everything that exists for queer youth in the world.

Eric
00:40:42
And.

Eric
00:40:42
Yeah, and I mean, I think one last thing to that point of curiosity and exploring who we are, I think that just even if one individual person is not necessarily in the space or in.

Eric
00:40:56
Has the ability to change someone's life, I think that just sending the message that you're willing to do so can go so far.

Eric
00:41:04
Because I think obviously we all have our own limitations.

Eric
00:41:07
We all have our own little bubbles that we live in that may or may not be conducive to doing everything that we want to.

Eric
00:41:14
But I think that for anyone listening or for anyone in general, just like being able to send the message and just put your own little contribution into the safe spaces around you or into the whole, like, interconnection, the whole network of queer people and allies across the country and across the world, I think that all the little things make a difference.

Eric
00:41:33
And even, like, here having this conversation with you, Heather, it makes a difference.

Eric
00:41:38
Like, I feel so seen just from having heard your story and your perspectives and everything like that.

Eric
00:41:44
And it's powerful and it's meaningful.

Lily
00:41:48
Lily, I think I'm just.

Lily
00:41:50
I'm gonna.

Lily
00:41:50
I agree with Eric, and I'm also.

Lily
00:41:52
I'm gonna do the full.

Lily
00:41:53
The full plug of the program.

Lily
00:41:54
If you know a queer young person, age 13 to 19, please send them over to the future prick to get them involved with some free virtual programming in creative writing and performance.

Lily
00:42:07
We make incredible connections.

Lily
00:42:09
I've met so many, like, true, like, professional people.

Lily
00:42:11
We had Alok come.

Lily
00:42:12
We had Caitlin Kinnon, who was a Broadway performer.

Lily
00:42:15
We have Zian Fante, who's lovely.

Lily
00:42:16
We have Miles Tripp, Marie Howe, who is a poet.

Lily
00:42:19
We've met incredible people.

Lily
00:42:21
And to sort of stress that it's uniquely liberating to have the opportunity to make art, especially as a young person, and to make connections in a space where you know for a fact that you're seeing, you're safe, you're understood.

Lily
00:42:33
And if you are someone that is perhaps a little bit older than 13 to 19, get in touch with them and see if they can come to your school, your local community center, your LGBT center.

Lily
00:42:44
Wonderful group of people.

Lily
00:42:46
Yay.

Speaker B
00:42:48
That's so great.

Speaker B
00:42:51
Thank you.

Speaker B
00:42:53
Celeste, would you like to say anything else?

Celeste
00:42:56
Just thank you to you for the work that you're doing.

Celeste
00:42:59
Oh, I think that one of the things that moves me so deeply traveling around this country over the past seven years is the fierceness of moms.

Celeste
00:43:16
You know, I think one of the reasons people don't like to hang out with young people and why they talk about them and not with them is because young people actually make you question your own life and what you believe, what you truly, truly believe.

Celeste
00:43:37
And what I have seen traveling around the country is that the people who are willing to change are the moms.

Celeste
00:43:46
And the reason they change is because they love their kid and they're not going to leave them behind or kick them out.

Celeste
00:43:53
And they are fierce, fierce, fierce.

Celeste
00:43:57
So I know that your kids really changed you.

Celeste
00:44:01
And, you know, I don't see the point of being alive if you're not changing and growing yourself.

Celeste
00:44:09
Right.

Celeste
00:44:11
So I know from my own experience that this experience with the Future Perfect Project and with I'm Feeling Queer Today, I just love.

Celeste
00:44:22
First of all, I just love people having to say, I'm feeling queer today so many times.

Celeste
00:44:29
Like.

Celeste
00:44:29
And I especially like getting straight people to say, so tell us about I'm Feeling queer Today.

Speaker B
00:44:37
But, I mean, how much thought went into that name?

Speaker B
00:44:39
I think there was a little bit of thought that went into that.

Celeste
00:44:42
Not.

Celeste
00:44:43
Not by me.

Celeste
00:44:44
By.

Celeste
00:44:44
It was actually the young people they came up with love it.

Celeste
00:44:49
But I just know from my own personal experience that just being with them, these, you know, through the pandemic and traveling around the country, that they changed my life.

Celeste
00:44:58
And for that to happen to me at this stage of my life is such a blessing beyond.

Celeste
00:45:05
I can't even begin to express it.

Celeste
00:45:08
But if you want a little taste of it, you can go to the future perfect project.org, go onto the website, go look at some of the work that they've created, the animations we've created, two albums of their music.

Celeste
00:45:22
You know, there's all sorts of resources there that gives you a sense of what they think and feel and see and why they're already living in a future that hasn't yet arrived.

Celeste
00:45:35
But that is the place that I want to live.

Speaker B
00:45:38
Yes.

Celeste
00:45:39
It's just more generous.

Celeste
00:45:40
It's more.

Celeste
00:45:41
It's kinder, it's more expansive.

Celeste
00:45:44
So join us.

Celeste
00:45:46
There is what I think, everybody.

Speaker B
00:45:48
I mean, it is more authentic.

Speaker B
00:45:52
I will.

Speaker B
00:45:52
Lily I saw that.

Speaker B
00:45:54
Don't worry, I will.

Speaker B
00:45:55
I will put everything in links in the description.

Speaker B
00:45:58
It works.

Celeste
00:45:59
Both of them work.

Celeste
00:46:00
Both of them work.

Speaker B
00:46:04
Yes, it is.

Speaker B
00:46:05
It is a gift.

Speaker B
00:46:06
And it is a gift to just have been here with you all today.

Speaker B
00:46:12
Honestly, you've like made my day.

Speaker B
00:46:14
You have no idea.

Speaker B
00:46:17
And I'm so thrilled to get this out in the world.

Speaker B
00:46:20
And just know if you have a child who you think might be interested, by all means, get them plugged in here because this is just, as you can tell, just extraordinary.

Speaker B
00:46:34
So thank you all so much for being here with me today.

Speaker B
00:46:38
I am beyond grateful.

Speaker B
00:46:40
It's a Saturday afternoon.

Speaker B
00:46:41
You've given up your Saturday, at least an hour of it for me and for everyone listening.

Speaker B
00:46:46
So thank you for your generosity.

Speaker B
00:46:48
I so, so appreciate it.

Speaker B
00:46:51
Bye.

Speaker B
00:46:52
I hope you enjoyed that conversation as much as I did.

Speaker B
00:46:56
A quick reminder that my brand new book, Parenting with Pride is now available wherever books are sold.

Speaker B
00:47:04
Click on the link in the Show Notes to buy it right this second or to send it to a friend.

Speaker B
00:47:10
If this podcast, Just Breathe means something to you, it would mean so much to me if you would take 30 seconds to do two things.

Speaker B
00:47:21
First, please follow or subscribe to the show.

Speaker B
00:47:25
Just click on the plus sign or the word follow wherever you listen to your podcast.

Speaker B
00:47:31
And second, if you'd be willing to share a five star rating and review, I'd be so grateful.

Speaker B
00:47:38
It isn't just a nice thing for others to read, it actually helps this podcast get in front of those who need it most.

Speaker B
00:47:47
I appreciate you being part of the Just Breathe community.

Speaker B
00:47:51
Big hugs to you all.

Speaker B
00:47:53
Until next time.

Heather Hester
00:47:56
Thanks so much for joining me today.

Heather Hester
00:47:59
If you enjoyed today's episode, I would be so grateful for a rating or a review.

Heather Hester
00:48:06
Click on the link in the Show Notes or go to my website chrysalismama.com to stay up to date on my latest resources as well as to learn how you can work with me.

Heather Hester
00:48:19
Please share this podcast with anyone who needs to know that they are not alone.

Heather Hester
00:48:24
And remember, remember to just breathe until next time.