WEBVTT
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:01.439
Quick question.
00:00:01.679 --> 00:00:08.560
If a stranger looked at nothing but your calendar and your screen time for the last month, what would they say you care about?
00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:13.439
Hi, this is Jordana, the CEO of the Recon Network and host of the Im Brief Podcast.
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.519
And today we're going to look at time as a mirror.
00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:23.280
See, we all carry a list of stated priorities family, health, growth, faith, work.
00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:29.760
But then there's a second list written in actual hours that shows what really gets our attention.
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:37.359
Today is about comparing the two lists honestly, without shame or discouragement, and closing the gap on purpose.
00:00:39.759 --> 00:00:40.960
This is in brief.
00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:42.399
Let's get to it.
00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:54.880
What if your priorities aren't what you say they are?
00:00:55.119 --> 00:01:01.039
Now hear me out, because my theory is this what we say our priorities are is great.
00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:05.120
They show who we want to be or even who we view ourselves to be.
00:01:05.359 --> 00:01:13.359
But saying and doing are two different things, and our true priorities are shown up in what we do repeatedly.
00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.640
Now, economists call this the revealed preference.
00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:26.400
It's an economic theory stating that people show what they truly value through their choices and what they purchase rather than what they say they prefer.
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:34.079
That means that while someone may say, I'm going to buy that hamburger, the reality is they still like the other one better.
00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:37.920
And when they purchase it, it tells you which one they want.
00:01:38.319 --> 00:01:45.359
Taken out of an economic lens, that boils down to something like, ignore the survey answers, watch the behavior.
00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:54.159
And time is the cleanest behavior measurement there is because unlike money or words, everyone spends exactly the same amount every day.
00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:56.719
The only variable is where it goes.
00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:00.879
So if we look at it this way, your calendar becomes a kind of testimony.
00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:08.080
If health is a top three priority and the record shows zero recurring hours pointed at it, the record is telling us something.
00:02:08.319 --> 00:02:09.840
It's not that you're a hypocrite.
00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:12.719
That word is too harsh and really not useful.
00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:17.680
It's just that there's a gap between the story you're telling and the ledger that you're living.
00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:25.520
Usually this is because of structural issues like obligations that you can't walk away from, or seasons of life where everything gets cut.
00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:29.439
The other thing about the gap is that almost everyone has one.
00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:32.240
The size of it is the interesting part.
00:02:32.479 --> 00:02:37.439
So here's a quick audit you can do to identify your time gap, and it takes about 20 minutes.
00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:42.479
And I bet now that you're thinking about time, that 20 minutes just got really important, didn't it?
00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:43.360
Great.
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:51.680
So first, before looking at anything, write down your top five priorities, what you would say matters most to you right now.
00:02:51.919 --> 00:02:55.439
Do this from memory and be as honest as you can with yourself.
00:02:55.759 --> 00:03:02.479
Once you have that list, then pull up the last two normal weeks on your calendar.
00:03:02.960 --> 00:03:05.840
Look at the screen time report on your phone.
00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:14.080
And use your own recollection of evenings and weekends and roughly tally where the discretionary hours went.
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:16.080
You can do this in one of two ways.
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:21.280
One, not using locked hours like sleep or work since they are largely fixed.
00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:25.599
And for most people, that three hours open that you have a day.
00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:30.639
Or a different way that's a little bit more time intensive is the way that I do a time audit.
00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:38.319
And usually I do this when I'm incredibly overwhelmed or I'm wondering why nothing is moving, even though I feel like I'm working constantly.
00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:50.000
So I'll include work and sleep hours because if I'm being honest, I might say that my bedtime is at 10, but in reality, I'm laying there doom strolling for at least an hour or two.
00:03:50.400 --> 00:03:53.919
Now, when you've done both of these tasks, compare the lists.
00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:59.599
You'll probably notice three things which are pretty typical, but always seem to pop up.
00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:04.879
First, at least one stated priority received close to zero hours.
00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:09.280
Something that you said was important to you is getting nothing.
00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:19.600
The second thing is something that isn't on the priority list at all, and it's usually a screen, received 10 or more hours a week.
00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:21.199
Yes, clock it.
00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:25.920
And if you're doubling that, you really need to re-evaluate where you're spending time.
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:30.079
Third, and this is the one that stings in a really productive way.
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:34.560
The missing hours aren't usually stolen by other obligations.
00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:36.160
They leaked.
00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:40.959
Nobody starts off their day with, I'm gonna spend 11 hours doom scrolling online.
00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:49.839
It just happens in 90-second increments or five-minute increments that were never part of a formal or conscious decision.
00:04:50.079 --> 00:05:01.279
Now that last finding is actually the hopeful one because if the gap were caused entirely by hard obligations, closing the gap would require renegotiating your entire life.
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:07.360
You would have to figure out what can I drop in order to make time for the things that are important.
00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:18.720
But if a meaningful chunk of it is due to leak, time spent by accident rather than by choice, then the raw material for your stated priorities already exists inside your schedule.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.319
It's just unclaimed.
00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:24.480
It's like free territory just waiting for something to fall into it.
00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:29.199
Now, if you've done this exercise and you're worried about how to get back on track, don't stress about it.
00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:34.480
See, the priorities that lose are almost always ones without appointments.
00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:38.240
Work wins the calendar war because work schedules itself.
00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:42.639
You have to be there on time, meetings have times, deadlines have dates.
00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:54.240
But those things like family dinner, the gym, the side project, or the phone call to your mom, those things live in its intentions, and intentions lose to appointments every single time.
00:05:54.399 --> 00:06:04.959
It's not because they matter less, but they were never given a slot or a place to defend or remind, which points to the fix, which is so easy it's almost anticlimactic.
00:06:05.199 --> 00:06:08.879
Whatever you claim is a priority gets an actual appointment.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:15.600
A recurring block with a date and a time defended with the same mild stubbornness you would use for a work meeting.
00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:17.920
But keep in mind this isn't aspirational.
00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:19.360
I'll work out more.
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:26.079
But concrete by design, I will work out on Tuesday at 6.30 for 45 minutes.
00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:31.279
The test of whether something is really a priority isn't how strongly you feel about it.
00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:37.920
We all feel strongly about certain things that we haven't been able to move forward because of this time link.
00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:47.199
So it's not really a priority on how you feel, it's whether it exists on the calendar in a form that can survive a busy or a hectic week.
00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:49.920
So to start moving, just start with one.
00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:56.879
Take the priority with the biggest gap, the one that you keep claiming, but that keeps receiving nothing, maybe.
00:06:56.959 --> 00:06:59.360
And give it two protected hours this week.
00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:00.079
Two.
00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:07.920
That's roughly 2% of your waking time on average, taken mostly from the leak rather from anything that will miss it.
00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:18.319
And if two hours can't be found for your self-described top priority, that's worth knowing too, because it means either the list needs editing or your life does.
00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:22.000
Now, in a month or so, come back and rerun the audit.
00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:25.360
Not to grade yourself, but to re-measure where you stand.
00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:29.920
The gap between stated and lived priorities never fully closes.
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:33.040
Life keeps moving and the lists keep drifting apart.
00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:41.279
So the practice isn't about perfection, it's about periodic honesty, looking at the record, noticing the drift, and making a correction.
00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:42.240
Then repeat.
00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:44.319
Here's the reason it matters.
00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:55.120
Because the long arithmetic behind all this is that a year from now, your life will be the sum of what the hours actually did, not what the list said.
00:07:55.600 --> 00:08:04.639
The time will tell the story of where you go from here, not all of the things and intentions and plans that you say you want.
00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:11.839
And all of your goals and plans and intentions mean nothing if they never see the light of day.
00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:20.319
Most transition programs assume you already know what you want.
00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:22.399
But if you don't, then what?
00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:28.160
At the Recon Network, we run free events year-round to meet you where you are.
00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:40.480
From our annual VET Summit to online workshops and even in-person local events, we provide real training, real conversations, and practical insights you can use the same day.
00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:45.440
With a goal to get you the tools you need to find direction and meaning now.
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:50.159
So if you don't know what you want or where you want to go, don't worry.
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:52.480
There's no cost, no pressure.
00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:54.799
Just support when you need it.
00:08:55.039 --> 00:09:00.639
So find your next event at recon.net and join us for something new.
00:00:00.640 --> 00:00:01.439
Quick question.
00:00:01.679 --> 00:00:08.560
If a stranger looked at nothing but your calendar and your screen time for the last month, what would they say you care about?
00:00:08.880 --> 00:00:13.439
Hi, this is Jordana, the CEO of the Recon Network and host of the Im Brief Podcast.
00:00:13.599 --> 00:00:17.519
And today we're going to look at time as a mirror.
00:00:18.239 --> 00:00:23.280
See, we all carry a list of stated priorities family, health, growth, faith, work.
00:00:23.440 --> 00:00:29.760
But then there's a second list written in actual hours that shows what really gets our attention.
00:00:30.000 --> 00:00:37.359
Today is about comparing the two lists honestly, without shame or discouragement, and closing the gap on purpose.
00:00:39.759 --> 00:00:40.960
This is in brief.
00:00:41.119 --> 00:00:42.399
Let's get to it.
00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:54.880
What if your priorities aren't what you say they are?
00:00:55.119 --> 00:01:01.039
Now hear me out, because my theory is this what we say our priorities are is great.
00:01:01.200 --> 00:01:05.120
They show who we want to be or even who we view ourselves to be.
00:01:05.359 --> 00:01:13.359
But saying and doing are two different things, and our true priorities are shown up in what we do repeatedly.
00:01:13.599 --> 00:01:16.640
Now, economists call this the revealed preference.
00:01:16.879 --> 00:01:26.400
It's an economic theory stating that people show what they truly value through their choices and what they purchase rather than what they say they prefer.
00:01:26.640 --> 00:01:34.079
That means that while someone may say, I'm going to buy that hamburger, the reality is they still like the other one better.
00:01:34.239 --> 00:01:37.920
And when they purchase it, it tells you which one they want.
00:01:38.319 --> 00:01:45.359
Taken out of an economic lens, that boils down to something like, ignore the survey answers, watch the behavior.
00:01:45.599 --> 00:01:54.159
And time is the cleanest behavior measurement there is because unlike money or words, everyone spends exactly the same amount every day.
00:01:54.400 --> 00:01:56.719
The only variable is where it goes.
00:01:56.959 --> 00:02:00.879
So if we look at it this way, your calendar becomes a kind of testimony.
00:02:01.120 --> 00:02:08.080
If health is a top three priority and the record shows zero recurring hours pointed at it, the record is telling us something.
00:02:08.319 --> 00:02:09.840
It's not that you're a hypocrite.
00:02:10.000 --> 00:02:12.719
That word is too harsh and really not useful.
00:02:12.879 --> 00:02:17.680
It's just that there's a gap between the story you're telling and the ledger that you're living.
00:02:17.919 --> 00:02:25.520
Usually this is because of structural issues like obligations that you can't walk away from, or seasons of life where everything gets cut.
00:02:25.759 --> 00:02:29.439
The other thing about the gap is that almost everyone has one.
00:02:29.680 --> 00:02:32.240
The size of it is the interesting part.
00:02:32.479 --> 00:02:37.439
So here's a quick audit you can do to identify your time gap, and it takes about 20 minutes.
00:02:37.599 --> 00:02:42.479
And I bet now that you're thinking about time, that 20 minutes just got really important, didn't it?
00:02:42.800 --> 00:02:43.360
Great.
00:02:43.680 --> 00:02:51.680
So first, before looking at anything, write down your top five priorities, what you would say matters most to you right now.
00:02:51.919 --> 00:02:55.439
Do this from memory and be as honest as you can with yourself.
00:02:55.759 --> 00:03:02.479
Once you have that list, then pull up the last two normal weeks on your calendar.
00:03:02.960 --> 00:03:05.840
Look at the screen time report on your phone.
00:03:06.159 --> 00:03:14.080
And use your own recollection of evenings and weekends and roughly tally where the discretionary hours went.
00:03:14.319 --> 00:03:16.080
You can do this in one of two ways.
00:03:16.240 --> 00:03:21.280
One, not using locked hours like sleep or work since they are largely fixed.
00:03:21.439 --> 00:03:25.599
And for most people, that three hours open that you have a day.
00:03:25.919 --> 00:03:30.639
Or a different way that's a little bit more time intensive is the way that I do a time audit.
00:03:30.800 --> 00:03:38.319
And usually I do this when I'm incredibly overwhelmed or I'm wondering why nothing is moving, even though I feel like I'm working constantly.
00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:50.000
So I'll include work and sleep hours because if I'm being honest, I might say that my bedtime is at 10, but in reality, I'm laying there doom strolling for at least an hour or two.
00:03:50.400 --> 00:03:53.919
Now, when you've done both of these tasks, compare the lists.
00:03:54.080 --> 00:03:59.599
You'll probably notice three things which are pretty typical, but always seem to pop up.
00:03:59.840 --> 00:04:04.879
First, at least one stated priority received close to zero hours.
00:04:05.120 --> 00:04:09.280
Something that you said was important to you is getting nothing.
00:04:09.680 --> 00:04:19.600
The second thing is something that isn't on the priority list at all, and it's usually a screen, received 10 or more hours a week.
00:04:19.839 --> 00:04:21.199
Yes, clock it.
00:04:21.360 --> 00:04:25.920
And if you're doubling that, you really need to re-evaluate where you're spending time.
00:04:26.160 --> 00:04:30.079
Third, and this is the one that stings in a really productive way.
00:04:30.319 --> 00:04:34.560
The missing hours aren't usually stolen by other obligations.
00:04:34.800 --> 00:04:36.160
They leaked.
00:04:36.639 --> 00:04:40.959
Nobody starts off their day with, I'm gonna spend 11 hours doom scrolling online.
00:04:41.279 --> 00:04:49.839
It just happens in 90-second increments or five-minute increments that were never part of a formal or conscious decision.
00:04:50.079 --> 00:05:01.279
Now that last finding is actually the hopeful one because if the gap were caused entirely by hard obligations, closing the gap would require renegotiating your entire life.
00:05:01.439 --> 00:05:07.360
You would have to figure out what can I drop in order to make time for the things that are important.
00:05:07.680 --> 00:05:18.720
But if a meaningful chunk of it is due to leak, time spent by accident rather than by choice, then the raw material for your stated priorities already exists inside your schedule.
00:05:18.879 --> 00:05:20.319
It's just unclaimed.
00:05:20.480 --> 00:05:24.480
It's like free territory just waiting for something to fall into it.
00:05:24.959 --> 00:05:29.199
Now, if you've done this exercise and you're worried about how to get back on track, don't stress about it.
00:05:29.360 --> 00:05:34.480
See, the priorities that lose are almost always ones without appointments.
00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:38.240
Work wins the calendar war because work schedules itself.
00:05:38.480 --> 00:05:42.639
You have to be there on time, meetings have times, deadlines have dates.
00:05:42.879 --> 00:05:54.240
But those things like family dinner, the gym, the side project, or the phone call to your mom, those things live in its intentions, and intentions lose to appointments every single time.
00:05:54.399 --> 00:06:04.959
It's not because they matter less, but they were never given a slot or a place to defend or remind, which points to the fix, which is so easy it's almost anticlimactic.
00:06:05.199 --> 00:06:08.879
Whatever you claim is a priority gets an actual appointment.
00:06:09.040 --> 00:06:15.600
A recurring block with a date and a time defended with the same mild stubbornness you would use for a work meeting.
00:06:15.759 --> 00:06:17.920
But keep in mind this isn't aspirational.
00:06:18.079 --> 00:06:19.360
I'll work out more.
00:06:19.680 --> 00:06:26.079
But concrete by design, I will work out on Tuesday at 6.30 for 45 minutes.
00:06:26.399 --> 00:06:31.279
The test of whether something is really a priority isn't how strongly you feel about it.
00:06:31.439 --> 00:06:37.920
We all feel strongly about certain things that we haven't been able to move forward because of this time link.
00:06:38.160 --> 00:06:47.199
So it's not really a priority on how you feel, it's whether it exists on the calendar in a form that can survive a busy or a hectic week.
00:06:47.600 --> 00:06:49.920
So to start moving, just start with one.
00:06:50.160 --> 00:06:56.879
Take the priority with the biggest gap, the one that you keep claiming, but that keeps receiving nothing, maybe.
00:06:56.959 --> 00:06:59.360
And give it two protected hours this week.
00:06:59.600 --> 00:07:00.079
Two.
00:07:00.399 --> 00:07:07.920
That's roughly 2% of your waking time on average, taken mostly from the leak rather from anything that will miss it.
00:07:08.079 --> 00:07:18.319
And if two hours can't be found for your self-described top priority, that's worth knowing too, because it means either the list needs editing or your life does.
00:07:18.800 --> 00:07:22.000
Now, in a month or so, come back and rerun the audit.
00:07:22.160 --> 00:07:25.360
Not to grade yourself, but to re-measure where you stand.
00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:29.920
The gap between stated and lived priorities never fully closes.
00:07:30.240 --> 00:07:33.040
Life keeps moving and the lists keep drifting apart.
00:07:33.279 --> 00:07:41.279
So the practice isn't about perfection, it's about periodic honesty, looking at the record, noticing the drift, and making a correction.
00:07:41.439 --> 00:07:42.240
Then repeat.
00:07:42.480 --> 00:07:44.319
Here's the reason it matters.
00:07:44.639 --> 00:07:55.120
Because the long arithmetic behind all this is that a year from now, your life will be the sum of what the hours actually did, not what the list said.
00:07:55.600 --> 00:08:04.639
The time will tell the story of where you go from here, not all of the things and intentions and plans that you say you want.
00:08:05.040 --> 00:08:11.839
And all of your goals and plans and intentions mean nothing if they never see the light of day.
00:08:15.920 --> 00:08:20.319
Most transition programs assume you already know what you want.
00:08:20.480 --> 00:08:22.399
But if you don't, then what?
00:08:22.879 --> 00:08:28.160
At the Recon Network, we run free events year-round to meet you where you are.
00:08:28.399 --> 00:08:40.480
From our annual VET Summit to online workshops and even in-person local events, we provide real training, real conversations, and practical insights you can use the same day.
00:08:40.639 --> 00:08:45.440
With a goal to get you the tools you need to find direction and meaning now.
00:08:46.159 --> 00:08:50.159
So if you don't know what you want or where you want to go, don't worry.
00:08:50.320 --> 00:08:52.480
There's no cost, no pressure.
00:08:52.639 --> 00:08:54.799
Just support when you need it.
00:08:55.039 --> 00:09:00.639
So find your next event at recon.net and join us for something new.
