#262 When God Didn't Protect Me: Reclaiming Faith After Breast Cancer

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When I got that phone call.
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I was really mad, so you felt like God betrayed you essentially.
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And it shifted my perspective.
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So why do you think you got breast cancer?
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Oh, that is the $10 million question.
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Welcome back to the Fast to Faith podcast.
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I know we've been on a break for a minute, but I'm really excited to be back with new topics, new information, new experts and a renewed passion for bringing you the truth when it comes to women's health.
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So here's the deal.
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You guys, I have been working diligently on bringing you a faith-based summit for midlife, and we are in the works for a in-person retreat where you can come and work with me and some other incredible women.
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So we're gonna talk about that in a little bit.
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So stay with us and remember the beauty of the podcast.
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You can push, pause and come back to it.
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You can listen to a podcast from three years ago, like I love podcasts for that reason.
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So listen to the whole thing.
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If you have to pause and come back, I totally understand.
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But I want to introduce you to a really sweet friend of mine that I have come to know over this past year.
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Her name is Debra Enos.
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Welcome, deborah.
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How are you?
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Oh, I am so good and it's wonderful to see you and I just I.
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I love your book and I love that.
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I'm a big Audible fan, so I love that you were reading it on Audible and I'm sure it was a lot of work.
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Oh my gosh.
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Thank you for acknowledging that, because it was.
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They told me it should take about four weeks and it took almost nine weeks, because my house is always noisy there is always something going on so nine weeks.
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Wow, that's, that's committed right there, honey.
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Yes, it was a long process, so I'm glad you enjoyed it.
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And yes, my book is available on Audible.
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I love books on Audible because I talk my dog a lot and I am like outdoors, walking, riding my bike, weeding the garden.
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You can listen to stuff through Audible right.
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I feel like I'd never get through a book if I didn't have Audible.
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And I'm a voracious reader, and my husband said the other day does it still count as reading if it's on.
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Audible.
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I said absolutely, of course it does.
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Oh, my goodness.
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Okay, well, I just want to tell my ladies about you really quickly, because you have a really awesome story.
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You are a certified nutritionist awesome story.
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You are a certified nutritionist, nationally recognized health living expert and breast cancer thriver.
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So you may have seen her, ladies, on Q13, fox News, nbc or News Nation, or even as the one minute wellness coach on the doctor's TV show.
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She's also regular contributor to the Costco Connection magazine.
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But after decades of living a healthy lifestyle, deborah was shocked by a breast cancer diagnosis in 2020.
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So this experience led her to launch her powerful podcast why Did I Get Cancer?
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And it's helping women be educated and protecting others because she was just in shock.
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So she's going to talk about that a little bit and she has this background in health science, exercise science and nutrition.
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But she needed to understand, like what was the missing piece.
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So she blends her personal experience and faith in such a beautiful way.
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So I know you're going to be inspired and you're going to have some tools to really tackle what it means to live well and thrive.
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So welcome, debra.
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I'm so excited for this conversation.
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Oh, thank you.
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I'm so excited for it too.
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And yes, I'm coming up on my five year anniversary of getting that phone call and I, just in looking back, I just think, oh my gosh, that went so fast and yet it went so slow.
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Yes, so you were living your best life, like life was good.
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You were doing all the things.
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you were super healthy super healthy eating, organic doing.
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You know hot yoga, running half marathons, going to church every Sunday, you know ladies, bible study.
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I was doing all of the things and I was having a great life.
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You know great relationships, wonderful community giving back to my community.
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And so when I got that phone call, wonderful community giving back to my community.
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And so when I got that phone call, I was really mad.
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To be honest, I was furious.
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It's the most angry I have ever been.
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Wow, okay.
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So what was going through your head?
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Well, I was thinking okay, god, look at all the things I'm doing for you.
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I'm giving back to my community, I'm volunteering, I'm tithing, I'm all of these things.
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And when all my friends are ordering margaritas and hot dogs, I'm getting the organic chicken salad.
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So what happened?
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What happened here?
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What did I miss?
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So, not only was I mad at God for not protecting me, I was also mad at myself, thinking two things One, what did I miss?
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And two, why was I so healthy my whole life?
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If it, it just, you know, when I turned 55, I got cancer.
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Why not just go ahead and eat the hot dog?
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Oh, wow.
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So you felt like God betrayed you essentially.
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I did.
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I felt like God didn't protect me and I felt like my body betrayed me, and I think about the five half marathons.
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I was a collegiate athlete.
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I have been athletic my entire life and taken really good care of myself, even doing things like acupuncture and massage in my 20s, knowing that was so important to continue to do self-care even when you're 25 and you're doing other things.
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But I would go home early, go to bed.
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I was taking care of myself.
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So what could have possibly happened?
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But I think out of all of those feelings, probably the most heartbreaking was feeling like God wasn't for me.
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Yeah, so obviously you sat in that for a minute.
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But then what happened?
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Because you are not bitter, you have pivoted big time I have pivoted.
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So what happened?
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Yes, well, I went about, I got my diagnosis and, and it took a couple of weeks of just going to all the oncology appointments.
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You know, I felt like I, three days a week, I was at the cancer center and it took a couple of weeks for them just to tell me oh, by the way, women don't die from the type of cancer you have.
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And I thought you couldn't have told me that two weeks ago when I came in like, you know, just a deer in the headlights, so that two weeks of just you know, am I going to have to do chemo, radiation combination.
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Could I die Like I love my life?
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Really I'm.
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You know, I was so mad at the Lord and after a few days of that I realized I was so heartbroken.
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And it wasn't heartbroken by the diagnosis, I was heartbroken because I gave up my relationship with him and I'm not saying I didn't believe in him anymore, I was just really mad at God and so I just said I'm not going to talk to you for a little while.
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I'm not going to talk to you right now.
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I'm so mad at you that you didn't protect me.
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And I remember just being on my knees one day and I was like Lord, I'm sorry, I'm back.
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And he said I've never left.
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I've never left.
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I'm here.
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I've never left, I'm here.
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And that's what got me through is knowing like I can leave and being really angry when I'd walk through those big double doors and it was also during COVID, so a lot of the time I was by myself and my husband couldn't go, or my mom or, and I'd be there by myself and instead of like, looking around the room with these angry eyes, I started to really soften at that point and I'd see these precious women coming in with you know, they're bald, they've been going through chemo, they've got hats on and wigs and I just started praying for them.
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I wouldn't necessarily go over to them and talk to them, but I would just be standing in line waiting to check in and I'd see a woman walk in and I would just start praying for her and it shifted my perspective and that's what changed my mindset to get through the next five surgeries.
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Wow, okay, I love that and I think that's because you invited God back in to your life and he softened your heart right he did.
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He softened my heart and it changed my perspective and it really.
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That was when everything changed and I feel like that's why I'm thriving today.
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And even my oncologists they would say wow, you've got the best attitude of anybody we've seen.
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And I thought well, let's go back to that first day when I was so angry and so bitter and so mad.
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But things did shift and all of a sudden I was just gentle and generous but focused.
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Yeah, and I'm so glad that you're sharing this, because God can handle all our feelings.
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He already knows that we can't hide anything, none of it is a surprise.
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It's not like he's up there saying, oh my gosh, I can't believe she got diagnosed with cancer.
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Like he's.
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It's not a surprise to him.
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Right, or that you're angry at him, so so why do you think you got breast cancer?
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Oh, that is the $10 million question.
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I, I did everything right.
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When it comes to physical self-care, let's just say I did 90% right.
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I was a very early adopter into not using deodorants with a lot of toxic ingredients.
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I mean, for years I just would use coconut oil and other things.
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I knew the risks.
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Ate well, non-gmo organic homemade meals.
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Ate well, non-gmo organic homemade meals.
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But there's a couple things.
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One I had a lot of early toxin exposure growing up on a farm in the 70s and 80s and I never really understood that aspect of the.
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You know that we'd have crop dusters come through and you had to stay inside for 15 minutes until all the chemicals went away.
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Really, 15 minutes.
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Right, they don't actually go away, they never go away.
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So then we'd go back outside and play in the dirt and all of those things.
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That was the era of, you know, farmers being told roundup is fine, it's going to increase your yields and there's no harm to animals or people or environment and everything's going to be fine.
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Use all of these chemicals.
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At that point, mid to late 70s, early 80s, farming was very chemically based, at least where I lived, and I'm sure it was like that throughout our country, because, again, it was the marketing.
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It's not easy being a farmer.
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You don't make a lot of money.
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It's a lot.
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It's a seven day, seven days a week job and so you'll do anything to increase your yields, especially if you know it's not going to harm anybody right and you know people were told, told a story, yeah, yeah, and I want women listening to really understand the gravity of it.
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Because you know, we flippantly say, like roundup is killing us, or you know it's destroying our food.
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But these organophosphates, they are chemicals, they are not leaving our body once they are in and they are so destructive, like it boggles my mind, that we think, yeah, we're just trying to kill the tiny little insects with this stuff, but it's not actually going to kill our cells inside of us.
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It's like the lies that we tell ourselves to be okay with it.
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You know, and you're right, like the farmers didn't know, they're trying to make a living, they're trying to get more crops and not have their crops destroyed by insects and things, and so it's like we can't even blame anybody at this point, except you know the higher ups.
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But I tell you, the worst cancers, especially like brain cancers and muscle cancers and all of these uncommon cancers that I've seen, they all came from the farmland.
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People grew up on a farm.
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Yeah, and think about those farm workers which you know, I was a farm worker, so think about that.
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I mean, there's an area very south of the Mississippi and I think they call it Cancer Alley because it's where all of the chemicals go to die and unfortunately they're killing the environment and animals that have been there for years and years, and people.
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So that was one piece, is I never really understood toxins and it wasn't really, let's be honest, it wasn't really talked about until probably five to eight years ago.
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There were a few outliers who started talking about talk.
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Now we're talking about it a lot, which I'm so grateful for.
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And then the other piece I would say was in my thought life is that I really struggled with forgiveness.
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I struggled to forgive people and situations and many other things, and I was somebody who would ruminate, and what I mean by that is I would play the negativity, even though I'm a very positive person.
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I would play the negativity.
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I'd rehearse it over and over.
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Well, I should have done that, or I could have done that differently, or oh, I'm so upset with this person and what they said, but I didn't have the boundaries to say, hey, you hurt my feelings.
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Hey, this is what happened.
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Did you mean to make it sound like that?
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So I didn't have the ability at that time in my life to really say, hey, here's my boundary, here's how this is going to work for me, and if it doesn't work for you, that's fine.
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But just so you know, I'm moving you from my inner circle to an outer circle because this isn't working for me.
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So I didn't have a voice to be able to do that.
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Because this isn't working for me.
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So I didn't have a voice to be able to do that.
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And I really believe that when we struggle with forgiveness which is such a gift from God that we can forgive others, as he has forgiven us, it's such a gift but when we struggle with it, that lack of forgiveness has to go someplace.
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And for me, it really impacted my health.
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Yeah, oh, my goodness.
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I hope this is hitting home for some women, because this is the truth right here.
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You know, and you can see the work of Dr Gabor Mate and Dr Amy Apegian and other leaders in the field of trauma biology.
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Like our body keeps the score, it is holding that unforgiveness in a place in our body and it is destroying our cells.
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Our cells are listening to everything we believe, everything we think and they are responding aren't they yeah?
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They are, and research also shows that.
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I'll just use myself as an example.
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Let's say, yesterday I had an email issue with one of my employees and it really got bad blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.
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Then I go to bed last night and I'm rereading the email.
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I'm rethinking about the email, I'm thinking about how she could have handled it.
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I could have handled it.
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So then, an hour later, I'm still ruminating on this email.
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Well, the body doesn't realize, wow, this happened eight hours ago or wow, this happened eight years ago.
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Your body still has the same response to it because it's like I'm sitting down, I popped a DVD in, I popped some popcorn and now I'm just going to watch this DVD all over again of some sort of work trauma or divorce trauma or whatever it is.
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Your body doesn't know that it happened 10 years ago.
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Right, you still create all of those same chemicals.
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I know I say to women think about a time when you were super angry, like you were in a heated argument, maybe with your spouse or your sibling, and if you start to think about that and the details of that conversation, your body will create all those original chemicals of epinephrine, all those endorphins and all that cortisol which is so destructive.
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So destructive.
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Your body has the same response, whether it was five minutes ago or five minutes ago or 50 years ago, and that will create destruction and disease.
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Yes, yes, yes, it absolutely is the truth.
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And so I had to learn to stop that.
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I had to learn to think actually not even think differently when I got into bed, just stop thinking.
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And I had to figure out how to forgive some really old stuff and some really fresh stuff, and the way I forgive because forgiveness is a gift to yourself but sometimes just saying the words I forgive Dr Tabitha for blah, blah, blah.
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I forgive my husband, but you have to forgive and you have to release.
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I forgive my husband, but you have to forgive and you have to release.
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And so the way I do it now is when I go to the gym and I'm lifting weights and the class is really loud and nobody can hear me, I'll get going and I'll say, okay, god, who do I need to forgive today?
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And a picture will come to mind and maybe I'm bench pressing and I'll say I forgive you so and so and I I really hear it I forgive and I release, and that has made all the difference for me.
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And then I have this physical aspect of forgiveness because I'm exercising and I'll tell you, I leave the gym and it's the best I've ever felt.
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I love that so much.
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I had that similar situation recently because I feel like I've worked so much on my forgiveness, and most recently just with my ex-husband and being betrayed know being betrayed, and all of these lied to and all of these things and it's like I felt so at peace with that forgiveness.
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And God said to me you still have unforgiveness in your heart and I was like searching and searching.
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I'm like, no, I really am at peace.
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He's like it's not about him.
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It's about five years ago when this happened with your job and with church, and I was just stunned.
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I thought I moved past that, but I released it and it was me talking to God, asking him to reveal that to me.
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And so I went through a few days of feeling all the feelings, all the anger, all this stuff came back and then I was finally able to release it and I was so grateful because you can feel disease starting to develop in your body.
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People will get sick, they will be, you know, just have this chronic fatigue or malaise.
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That doesn't make any sense and they're like I just don't want to do life anymore and it's like.
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That is the bitterness.
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It is.
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It's that bitter root that is taking hold and you mentioned gardening and you don't just go through and you just don't clip the weeds.
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You got to pull them out or it's going to leave a mark.
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And I can look back in my life and see where I just clipped bitterness and I just clipped anger, but I didn't really eradicate it.
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And God wants to eradicate it out of my life so I can live with full joy, full generosity and just love, so I can love people.
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Yeah, oh, my goodness.
00:24:36.042 --> 00:24:52.921
So I'm assuming, over the past five years with your podcast and just being on this quest, that you have learned some tools and some ways to navigate all of this and really to empower women, right.
00:24:53.942 --> 00:24:55.065
Absolutely yes.
00:24:55.065 --> 00:24:57.368
Yes, it has been quite a journey.
00:24:57.368 --> 00:25:02.056
Absolutely yes.
00:25:02.056 --> 00:25:02.918
Yes, it has been quite a journey.
00:25:02.918 --> 00:25:04.123
And I would say two things really come to mind.
00:25:04.143 --> 00:25:11.662
We've talked about the forgiveness piece, but just to kind of finish that off, forgiveness is a daily task.
00:25:11.662 --> 00:25:19.326
It's like brushing your teeth, and it could be a little thing, it could be a big thing and it could be something from 30 years ago.
00:25:19.326 --> 00:25:27.067
You could search your mind of gosh, who do I need to forgive?
00:25:27.067 --> 00:25:34.139
Or you could just go to the source and say God, who do I or what do I need to forgive today?
00:25:34.139 --> 00:25:48.471
And it might be yourself, for making decisions when you were 30 that weren't his best, but they still worked out and he was still there with you and for you.
00:25:48.471 --> 00:25:53.605
So I feel like for me, forgiveness is a daily now.
00:25:53.605 --> 00:25:55.028
It's just a daily part of my life.
00:25:55.028 --> 00:26:02.196
So that has been really beautiful part of my life.
00:26:02.196 --> 00:26:03.721
So that has been really beautiful.
00:26:03.740 --> 00:26:10.800
And then the other thing that I do is I really prioritize my health, and it's probably an interesting comment to hear from somebody who's a certified nutritionist.
00:26:10.800 --> 00:26:16.179
You know, with all this, you know additional, you know study and education, exercise, science.
00:26:16.179 --> 00:26:18.904
So I was good about going to the gym.
00:26:18.904 --> 00:26:49.724
I was good about going for a five mile run, but maybe what I wasn't good about was being in bed at a certain time, making sure I'm hydrated, making sure I have a refrigerator of easy to go to foods foods and then the other thing that I wasn't good at was really showing who I truly was to the people in my life, because I'm a loser.
00:26:49.825 --> 00:26:57.404
So if you needed me to make a comment like this or support you in a certain way that I didn't believe, yeah, I'll do that for you.
00:26:57.404 --> 00:27:24.475
So I have dramatically changed in that area and what I've realized is I need to please him and not other people, and that has given me honestly, tabitha, such a sense of peace that I just move through my day with calmness and peace, patience most of the time.
00:27:24.475 --> 00:27:45.612
And I've mentioned generosity a few times, but that's one of the things that I pray every day is Lord, show me how to be generous, how you're generous, and I can now be generous with my time and my talents and many other things without being a people pleaser.
00:27:47.098 --> 00:27:47.781
Oh, my goodness.
00:27:47.781 --> 00:27:56.105
Yeah, the research is pretty clear that people pleasers get more cancer than any other personality profile.
00:27:56.105 --> 00:27:58.769
Really, yes, yes.
00:27:58.769 --> 00:28:18.807
So that does not surprise me that you're saying that, and I I would love to maybe help women understand this a little more, because it sounds on the surface like you're just saying, okay, god, who can I support, who can I help?
00:28:18.807 --> 00:28:21.290
But that's different than people pleasing.
00:28:21.290 --> 00:28:29.227
People pleasing is an ego thing, it's a pride thing, it's a let me be good enough for humans kind of thing.
00:28:29.227 --> 00:28:36.011
Let me get their accolades and feel my worthiness from people.
00:28:36.011 --> 00:28:58.026
And what you're saying is I had a huge paradigm shift and now I'm here to glorify the Father and make him happy and do his will his will, not mine and there's no suffering in that way of pleasing and serving right.
00:28:58.026 --> 00:28:59.848
There's a huge difference there.
00:28:59.848 --> 00:29:06.530
There's so much underlying resentment when you're a people pleaser, because it's never good enough.
00:29:07.071 --> 00:29:20.826
It's never good enough, takers will keep taking, they will always want more, they will want you to go and do more, and so you never feel satisfied, you never feel worthy and like.
00:29:20.826 --> 00:29:26.643
That just breaks my heart because, by and large, people pleasers are women, right.
00:29:26.762 --> 00:29:28.125
Absolutely.
00:29:28.125 --> 00:29:32.136
And autoimmune diseases and so many other things.
00:29:32.136 --> 00:29:38.046
Fatigue, yes, all of those things, yeah, oh my goodness, yes, yes.
00:29:38.046 --> 00:30:01.719
So people pleasing you mentioned pride and it's interesting because it really is pride in its control, which I think of people pleasing as meek and mild and kind of quiet, but you know what it's actually incredibly controlling when you're trying to please the people around you.
00:30:01.719 --> 00:30:06.496
You you need to please them so you can control the situation.
00:30:06.496 --> 00:30:21.128
And when I really got a vision of that, I thought, wow, I, this is an area I need to work on giving control back to God and not walking in pride, but walking in generosity.
00:30:22.035 --> 00:30:22.856
Yeah, yeah.
00:30:22.856 --> 00:30:26.025
I see this on a whole nother level with women.
00:30:26.025 --> 00:30:44.487
Sometimes it's like they don't trust God to do his job in the lives of the people they care about and they love and they feel like if I don't do this, this person isn't going to change, this person is going to suffer, like it's not going to work out for them.
00:30:44.487 --> 00:30:48.066
And you know, I had an epiphany at one point.
00:30:48.066 --> 00:31:02.662
I was like, wow, I know I feel like I have to take care of my parents or whatever, but there are many times when I don't and they're just fine, god takes care of them, they take care of themselves.
00:31:02.662 --> 00:31:06.526
Like it really is my ego thinking it's all me.
00:31:06.526 --> 00:31:16.330
And I had that as a doctor with my patients and it's like, oh my goodness, I don't trust God to do his job.
00:31:16.610 --> 00:31:17.031
Right.
00:31:17.031 --> 00:31:17.954
What a revelation.
00:31:17.954 --> 00:31:18.908
It's not about you.
00:31:18.908 --> 00:31:19.315
It's not about you.
00:31:19.315 --> 00:31:20.480
It's not about me.
00:31:20.480 --> 00:31:25.823
He's really good at being God and I stink at it.
00:31:26.223 --> 00:31:28.855
Yeah, yeah, yeah, oh, my goodness.
00:31:28.855 --> 00:31:37.452
Well, I'm so excited that you have gone on this journey, and you know God turns everything for our good.
00:31:37.452 --> 00:31:46.333
He does, and you know God turns everything for our good If you receive his invitation to walk with him and allow him to make your path straight.
00:31:46.333 --> 00:31:50.944
He will, and so he's doing that in such a huge way for you.
00:31:50.944 --> 00:31:57.367
And now you have, like, felt this calling to create an in-person women's retreat right.
00:31:57.367 --> 00:32:00.496
So we need to talk about this because I'm super pumped.
00:32:00.496 --> 00:32:03.019
It's very soon, I don't know.
00:32:03.160 --> 00:32:08.750
October yeah, october 9th through 13th in Montana.
00:32:08.750 --> 00:32:13.668
Now I call it a dude ranch, but it's not a dude ranch, it is a.
00:32:13.668 --> 00:32:17.338
It's a guest ranch, it is a five star dude at ranch.
00:32:17.418 --> 00:32:28.568
It's a five star guest ranch and I tell you the food it's like a Michelin starred I mean it's not, but it's just like that level of food.
00:32:28.568 --> 00:32:32.743
We're going to go fly fishing, we're going to ride horses.
00:32:32.743 --> 00:32:38.259
It's just like the most beautiful setting I've ever been.
00:32:38.259 --> 00:32:51.608
I went there last September with a bunch of girlfriends, but now the shift is yes, it's going to be in this beautiful setting, but we have three powerhouse speakers you, our friend Kirsten and myself.
00:32:51.608 --> 00:32:55.764
And we are going to talk about midlife reset.
00:32:55.764 --> 00:32:57.269
We're going to talk about your book.
00:32:57.269 --> 00:33:03.823
We're going to talk about my experiences when it comes to living toxin-free and mindset.
00:33:03.823 --> 00:33:13.205
Kirsten is the most amazing health coach, focusing on sleep and all things health and healthy hacks.
00:33:13.205 --> 00:33:18.221
But we all have such a common theme is that we love God.
00:33:18.221 --> 00:33:19.482
We love the Lord.
00:33:20.325 --> 00:33:23.276
Yeah, and I love that we're going to God's country.
00:33:23.276 --> 00:33:30.427
Honestly, oh my gosh I can already tell how palpable it's going to be.
00:33:30.427 --> 00:33:31.430
I can feel it.
00:33:31.430 --> 00:33:33.136
We're not even there yet.
00:33:33.136 --> 00:33:35.878
It's going to be so just breathtaking and it's going to move women.
00:33:35.878 --> 00:33:54.635
So just breathtaking and it's going to move women, that's what I'm really excited about, because I hear women just saying I am so stuck, I'm tired of being stuck right, so stuck mentally and physically.
00:33:54.655 --> 00:33:55.877
you know just like we were talking about people pleasing.
00:33:55.877 --> 00:34:02.347
When we spend a good chunk of our day focused on pleasing others, where's your energy going?
00:34:02.347 --> 00:34:11.733
My energy is gone, and so this is really a retreat for women who are just fed up with being sick and tired all the time.
00:34:13.476 --> 00:34:59.996
And I want to point out that because our bodies and our minds, especially our subconscious, which runs 95% of the decisions we make, is so ingrained in us and it is just on autopilot, that it is really hard to have transformations and epiphanies and shifts when you're in your normal everyday environment, because your body and your subconscious is receiving cues from everything around you and so if you're still in the space that got you sick, it's really hard to get out of that mentally and make that shift in that same physical space, if that makes sense.
00:35:00.076 --> 00:35:01.900
And so it totally does make sense.
00:35:01.980 --> 00:35:06.655
Yes, yeah, that's why so many women need to go on a retreat.
00:35:06.655 --> 00:35:30.818
It doesn't even matter where you go to Sedona, you go to Alaska, you go to Italy, you go to Montana because you have to get your physical body in a different environment, in a healing environment, so that your subconscious can start to hear different things and rewire your beliefs and change the future.
00:35:30.818 --> 00:35:32.400
You that you see.
00:35:32.619 --> 00:35:34.742
So I'm exactly right, all of that so.
00:35:34.762 --> 00:35:35.963
I'm excited to unpack all of that.
00:35:37.405 --> 00:35:43.311
I am too, and that's a really good point is that you can't heal in the same environment that made you sick.
00:35:43.311 --> 00:35:44.197
It's just it's.
00:35:44.197 --> 00:35:45.860
I don't.
00:35:45.860 --> 00:35:47.847
I don't know how that even happens.
00:35:47.847 --> 00:35:58.776
So if you could just again push the pause button, get away for just a few nights and so, again, one of the most beautiful settings I have been in in my life.
00:35:58.776 --> 00:36:17.626
We come home with a fresh perspective and we also come home with a different community, and this community is going to be emailing each other and we're going to be learning a lot.
00:36:17.626 --> 00:36:25.407
And it is really helpful to have somebody reach out to you and say hey, how are you doing with that relationship you were telling me about?
00:36:25.407 --> 00:36:38.836
It's a little bit like when you get on an airplane and then you're you're really enjoying talking to your seatmate, and then you just kind of go blah like you're telling them everything and you're thinking why am I telling this person on this airplane?
00:36:38.836 --> 00:36:47.804
Similar when you go to a retreat, like all of a sudden you're just bonded with other women and I do love that female bond.
00:36:48.545 --> 00:36:49.867
Yes, absolutely.
00:36:49.867 --> 00:36:52.197
It's going to be such a safe space.
00:36:52.197 --> 00:36:54.601
It's going to be very intimate.
00:36:54.601 --> 00:36:55.623
What are we having?
00:36:55.623 --> 00:36:57.847
Like 25 women or something like that Right.
00:36:57.967 --> 00:36:58.527
It's small.
00:36:58.849 --> 00:37:02.244
Yes, yeah, and you know these are incredible women.
00:37:02.244 --> 00:37:09.487
I already know like most of the seats are taken, so if you want to get in, we want you to like jump at this.
00:37:09.487 --> 00:37:12.405
But the women who are coming are incredible.
00:37:12.405 --> 00:37:19.619
Their powerhouse is in their own right, and so you're going to be in good company, and their powerhouses in their own right, and so you're going to be in good company.
00:37:19.619 --> 00:37:29.302
And I just keep having this vision of the fish in the dirty fish bowl, like the fish is almost dying and belly up and the water is like so dark and dirty.
00:37:29.302 --> 00:37:36.541
You don't just keep feeding the fish or you know giving it more light, like you change the water water.
00:37:36.541 --> 00:37:49.943
You put the fish in a different fish tank or you put the fish in a different fish tank with other fish so it can have relationships and I love that that's so simple and so true.
00:37:51.726 --> 00:37:53.909
Why didn't I know you 25 years ago?
00:37:55.478 --> 00:37:56.340
I wasn't me.
00:37:56.340 --> 00:37:58.764
I wasn't me 20 years ago right.
00:37:58.784 --> 00:38:01.048
Like we're all on this journey.
00:38:01.295 --> 00:38:04.400
Jesus has done so much work on me.
00:38:04.400 --> 00:38:13.199
I'm not even recognizable Like I am a sinner, a cheater, a liar, a thief, a fraud, like I'm all the.
00:38:13.199 --> 00:38:34.916
That was me and now I am a new creation in Christ, and so any woman can have that, and I'm really excited that we're just going to like peel back stuff like an onion, peel back the layers and really like get real with God and with each other, and it's going to be transformational.
00:38:34.916 --> 00:38:36.759
So thank you for putting this together.
00:38:36.860 --> 00:38:45.021
I'm ridiculously excited and the more we talk about it, the more my heart just starts pumping and it just is.
00:38:45.021 --> 00:38:54.268
It's just leaping for joy because I know it's going to be just a small handful of days with just incredible transformation.
00:38:54.974 --> 00:38:55.757
Yeah, okay.
00:38:55.757 --> 00:39:00.603
So if you're listening, if you're watching, you don't even need the details.
00:39:00.603 --> 00:39:05.820
You need the dates because you got to know if you're physically available, but literally that is it.
00:39:05.820 --> 00:39:08.606
You need to ask God, am I supposed to be there?
00:39:08.606 --> 00:39:11.157
Did I hear this podcast episode?
00:39:11.157 --> 00:39:23.059
Because I am supposed to show up for myself and do this next step and if not, cool, like I hope that you receive some epiphanies out of this conversation.
00:39:23.059 --> 00:39:34.101
I know you did, but if, if you are feeling that nudge and you're supposed to be with us in Montana, figure it out make it happen.
00:39:34.282 --> 00:39:35.804
Everything is figureoutable.
00:39:36.324 --> 00:39:40.070
I live by that motto God will provide.
00:39:40.070 --> 00:39:43.179
If he wants you there, he will provide a way.
00:39:43.179 --> 00:39:47.657
You just have to make the decision yes, I'm going, and he'll help you find the money.
00:39:47.657 --> 00:39:51.536
He'll help you find the time and the flights and all of those things.
00:39:51.596 --> 00:39:55.322
It will all work out when we put our trust in him.
00:39:56.463 --> 00:39:57.184
Exactly.
00:39:57.184 --> 00:39:59.768
Oh my goodness, can you close us out?
00:39:59.768 --> 00:40:01.858
What is one last thing you want to say to women?
00:40:03.681 --> 00:40:05.985
Oh, that is a great question.
00:40:05.985 --> 00:40:07.106
So much, right.
00:40:07.106 --> 00:40:08.449
I know there's so.
00:40:08.449 --> 00:40:11.579
There's so much you.
00:40:11.579 --> 00:40:26.902
You are worthy of love, you are worthy of peace and you are worthy this is not grammatically correct, but you are worthy of things going well and continuing to go well.
00:40:26.902 --> 00:40:31.896
Don't anticipate the wheels falling off the wagon.
00:40:31.896 --> 00:40:39.248
Be present, love the people around you, smile at your barista at Starbucks.
00:40:39.248 --> 00:40:46.947
Just really be present in each and every moment and I think that God will just really bless that time.
00:40:48.056 --> 00:40:49.458
Oh, I love that so much.
00:40:49.458 --> 00:40:55.619
So what you're saying is try to be more like Jesus In your daily life.
00:40:55.619 --> 00:40:57.302
Just live more like Jesus.
00:40:57.302 --> 00:40:58.465
I love that so much.
00:40:58.465 --> 00:41:10.686
Okay, yes, your story is just a powerful reminder that even when we do everything right by the world's standards, life can still bring unexpected battles.
00:41:10.686 --> 00:41:20.139
So what you've shared today leaning into your faith, asking deeper questions, taking ownership of your health it is giving us hope and clarity.
00:41:20.139 --> 00:41:24.108
So, ladies, deborah's journey proves that we are not powerless.
00:41:24.108 --> 00:41:35.724
God has entrusted us with these bodies through wisdom, intentional choices and his guidance, and we can live with both joy and purpose, no matter what challenges come our way.
00:41:35.724 --> 00:41:41.340
So if you've been inspired by her story, I encourage you to listen to her podcast.
00:41:41.559 --> 00:41:46.509
Why Did I Get Cancer and consider joining us in Montana?
00:41:46.509 --> 00:41:53.027
Because when you start making these faith-based shifts, everything changes.
00:41:53.027 --> 00:41:56.262
So remember you were fearfully and wonderfully made.
00:41:56.262 --> 00:42:03.126
God has equipped you with everything you need to thrive, so let me know what hit you on this episode.
00:42:03.126 --> 00:42:06.981
We are here to serve you and I can't wait to see you next week.
00:42:06.981 --> 00:42:09.246
Continue to be christ's hands to serve.
00:42:09.246 --> 00:42:10.009
Bye, ladies.