Gay Hendricks | How Doing What You Love Unlocks Your Genius Zone

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In my experience, the people that really really do well
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in life are people that are happy with what they're doing.
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I mean, it sounds a little corny, but your personal
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development is so incredibly important.
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Why do some entrepreneurs seem to thrive effortlessly while others
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burn out chasing success? In this episode, I sit down
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with Gay Hendricks to explore the inner side of entrepreneurship.
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Why your mindset, your relationships, and even your breath can
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make or break your success. We'll get ato overcoming self doubt,
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tapping into your genius zone, and turning fear into creative fuel.
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If you want to grow your business without leaving your
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life or yourself behind, this conversation is for you. My
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name is doctor Fleet Maul your co host for the session,
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and I'm thrilled to be here today with none other
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than Gay Hendricks.
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Welcome Gay, Thanks Fleet. It's great to be with you.
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So your journey as a transformational coach and entrepreneur and
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has really impacted probably millions of people, and I wonder
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if you could share a moment in your life, perhaps
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a pivotal moment that set you on a path to
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not only becoming phenomenal teacher of body mind transformation and
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conscious relationship, but also of entrepreneurship and a model entrepreneur.
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I think I'm almost was a born entrepreneur because ever
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since I was a kid, I've loved setting up things.
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And actually the moment that comes to mind that kind
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of made me a lifelong believer in the power of entrepreneurism.
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It actually happened when I was ten years old. You know,
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every neighborhood has a kid that sets up a lemon
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stand or something like that. Well, I was that kid.
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I was always setting up a lemon stand or setting
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up some kind of little thing. I had a little
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lawnmowing business. But I got this great idea one day.
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My next door neighbor, mister Lewin, was a watermelon broker.
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I lived in Central Floor, which is big citrus and
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watermelons and that kind of thing. But I knew that
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mister Lewin always kept a bunch of watermelons in his
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garage in case any of the neighbors wanted one or
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anything like that. And so I came up with this idea.
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This will tell you how long ago it was fleet.
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I don't know if you've been around long enough to
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remember when gas was twenty five cents a gallon, I
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think just about yeah, yeah, well gas. I was been
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driving then, but my parents were well in the year
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this took place, nineteen fifty five, gas was twenty five
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cents a gallon, and I happened to remember that because
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it was exactly how much you could buy a watermelon for. Nowadays,
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the gallon of gas will cost you five bucks probably anyway,
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and a good sized watermelon probably ten bucks. But anyway,
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I bought from mister Lewin. I proposed him an idea.
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I said, sell me four watermelons wholesale for fifteen cents,
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and I'll take them down to the highway, which was
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about maybe two hundred yards away, and I'll sell them
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to passing motorists in Florida, you know who wouldn't buy
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a watermelon. And so my first day I trucked in
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my little red wagon. I trucked my four watermelons down
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and I stood there for all morning in the sun,
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holding up watermelons with my sign, you know, watermelon twenty
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five cents apiece. And I didn't sell a single watermelon.
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I had to all my watermelons back up the hill
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to mister Lewin's garage. Again, and so I was kind
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of broken hearted in a way because I had sixty
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cents invested in this operation that it had been a
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total flop. But somewhere in the middle of the night,
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I think I woke up and I had this idea,
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Oh my gosh, people don't want to buy a whole watermelon.
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They want to see a piece of watermelon. I want
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to make their mouth water. They've got to stop if
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they see a piece of watermelon on a day. That
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was my little chain of thought. And so the next
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day I tried an experiment. I cut one of my
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watermelons into eight pieces and sold the pieces for a
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nickel apiece, and I sold out in about gosh, twenty minutes,
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and I cut up another while and so by the
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end of the morning, I'd sold out all of my
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watermelon slices, and I had what I thought was a
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fortune in nickels. It turned out to me, I don't know,
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three dollars and seventy per cents or something, but I
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had more satisfaction counting out all of those nickels. But
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the thing was what it taught me looking back on
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it is the power of a compelling offer that no
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matter how good your product is, if you haven't got
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some way to display it or introduce it to people
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in a way that makes them want it, you might
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as well keep it in the garage. And so that
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was a huge moment for me, and I remember just
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racking up tons of nickels that summer. It was also
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very helpful too, because I became a coin collector at
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that point and had a good little business going on
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the side where kids would bring me their piggybank full
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of pennies and I would go through it, and then
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i'd give them back the ones I didn't want, and
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then I would pay them for the ones I wanted.
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Usually sometimes I would buy a penny for two bucks
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and then go down to the coin shop and sell
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it for five bucks that afternoon. But all those nickels,
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I found a number of them that were actually worth
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more than the nickel being a coin collector. Okay, So
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I don't want to get too long rended here, but
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you can see the point, which is, you know, just
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to keep tinkering until I found an offer. And to
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this day, I mean that tickles me pink is when
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I can find some way of sharing something really good
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with a person based on creating a compelling offer.
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Well, you went right to the heart of entrepreneurship and selling,
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which is the key to any business and having a
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compelling offer. Let's talk a little bit about I want
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to talk about mindset and heartset with you a bit.
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You know, being an entrepreneur can be incredibly rewarded both
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personally and financially if we're successful. It also has a
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lot of challenges, a lot of pressure. It's a lot
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on our shoulders. It's kind of up to us to succeed.
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We don't have any job security other than our own success.
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And in today's world, there's all kinds of pressures and
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the world's gotten ever more competitive, and things move really fast,
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and we have AI and everything that's going on. So
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what do you think is the most, single, the single
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most important sort of mindset shift that entrepreneurs need to
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make in order to be successful.
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Great question. I think it boils down to the same
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mindset and heartset that makes for a great life anyway,
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which is to see life as a journey and it's
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going to have twists and turns and ups and downs,
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but it's all about our personal development. It's all about
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becoming the best possible human we can possibly do. And
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in my work, one of the things I do based
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on the book you mentioned, the Big Leap, and it's
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for did other projects. We try to get people in
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touch with what we call their genius zone, which is
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when an entrepreneur is doing what they love to do
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and doing what they are most suited to do. Wow,
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the sky's the limit, you know, because I've had the
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opportunity to work with some of the most amazing entrepreneurs
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on earth. Now I'm just thinking of Michael Dell. I
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spent a lot of time buzzing back and forth down
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to Austin, Texas back in the nineties during a period
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of really explosive growth for Dell, and their stock was
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doubling every few months sometimes. But Michael Dell, I want
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to just draw a circle around him, because to me,
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he's a consummate entrepreneur. He presented a compelling offer to
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his parents when he was a college kid, and he said, Hey,
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I want to drop out of college and start a business,
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and would you loan me one thousand dollars and you
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know yourself in the parents point to do, I got
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this brilliant kid and he said, Hey, I want to
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drop out of college, you know, and in the meantime,
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you've already planned his career as a doctor or a lawyer,
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you know. But and my daughter did the same thing.
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She said she wanted to go to art school and
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become an artist when she went to college, and oh no, Amanda,
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you know, do you know how many starving artists there
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are in the world. But she persisted, and to this day,
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you know, she's in her fifties now, but she's a
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happy artist and I can't imagine her doing anything else.
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But anyway, Michael was able to do something by presenting
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a compelling offer. And I want to highlight this because
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the compelling offer in that case was to his parents,
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so he had a good listening for that. But I
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want to also make a point of saying, when I
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present a compelling offer, whether it's writing a book or whatever,
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I think of one person at a time that I'm
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talking to or or want to present that too. And
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I encourage that because a lot of people come to
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me and ask me about writing books and gues. I've
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written a bunch of books, and they want to know
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how to do it and how to do it easily.
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And I have to break the gentle truth to them
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that well, if you considered going in a room by
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yourself for a few hours a day for the next year, easy,
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it'll be easy for you. You know that happens to
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be easy for me. I'm a natural writer, so I
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enjoy the process of writing. But not everybody's wired up
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that way. But anyway, I want to just highlight compelling
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offer and think of one person, not a million people. First,
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but who are you presenting this too? If you're writing
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a book, your first customer usually is an agent and
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you want to sell them on selling your book. But
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if you're selling a new widget of some sort a
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new coat hanger, let's say, then you have to think
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of what it would take to encourage one person to
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buy your coat hanger. And if you can figure out
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how to do that, oh, it's so scalable, But you
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have to start with that one. And actually, I want
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to jump back to your question is very rich about
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you know, what does it take in mindset and heartset?
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In my experience, the people that really really do well
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in life are people that are happy with what they're doing.
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I mean, it sounds a little corny, but your personal
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development is so incredibly important. I've had the sad experience
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a few times of people I worked with deciding not
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to make their entrepreneurial journey about themselves, you know, just
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to make it about business, and that didn't end well,
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because there's a particular time in your business development and
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your personal development where you have to call forth on
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the resources of all of the things you found unlovable
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about yourself. Transforming them into a genuine source of creative
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energy is one of the art forms of a creative
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entrepreneurial life as well as a successful personal life.
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Well, that's so incredibly important. I'm so glad you're focusing there.
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There's that famous line from I Think Bucker U Baumsie.
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Wherever you go, there you are. And so you know,
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no matter how hard we work to be successful in business,
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if we're now evolving as a person, we're sooner or
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later going to run into the limitations of our own
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personal work we've done. And one of the forms of
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that do you talk about in your book the big leap,
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is the kind of conditioning that we probably inherited from
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our parents or from the culture that creates these upper
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limits for us, the upper limit problem, you call it. That,
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and I wonder if you could talk about that.
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Yes, Well, one of the big things that any successful
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human being as well as entrepreneur, has to do is
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clear out the limiting beliefs that you sort of soaked
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up by osmosis, usually before you even could think for yourself.
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So a lot of our limiting beliefs get laid in
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place even before we go off to elementary school for
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the first time, because we soak up what's going on
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around us. One of the most limiting beliefs, probably the
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most prominent ones, And I've run into this with CEOs
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and juvenile delinquents and movie stars, so it's nobody's immune
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from it is somewhere you get a belief that you
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don't deserve the good things of life. Somewhere in you
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you feel like you don't deserve it. And so even
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if you override that and work your tail off and
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get successful, there's that little gnawing part of you that
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thinks you don't deserve it. And like I said, it
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doesn't matter what dimension of life you're in. It's I've
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walked down the hall with a seat at a big
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company you know that hires fifty thousand people and I've
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talked to the CEO about this particular limiting belief, and
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I've seen the eyes light up in his head. He said,
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oh my god, I've been dragging that around with me
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my whole life, and I just never had a spotlight
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shined on it. And that's the beauty of getting some
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good coaching is even if you're operating at the top
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of your game, believe me, there's still going to be
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things you've overlooked. And I remember a great quotation from
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Carl Jung, the great psychiatrist. He said, this is my paraphrase.
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He was a very precise German speaking person. But here's
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my paraphrase. The stuff you don't deal with in your
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own unconscious shows up out in the world and you
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call it fate. Oh man, that's just fate at work.
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You know, I fail for the seventeenth time. Oh fate,
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I'm cursed. But it's finding that limiting belief and owning
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it and saying, okay, it's like shining a light on it.
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It's not hard, but a lot of us fear that light,
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you know, fear shining that light on ourselves. So that's
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one thing that successful people have to do, is overcome
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that fear of not deserving it. The second thing is
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a fear of not feeling like we deserve to be
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in the spotlight. You no like. I have an older brother.
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He passed away several years ago at the age of
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eighty six from Parkinson's and he was very much dearly
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beloved by me and his family. And so he was
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the older one by eight years. And then I came along.
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I was sort of a big mistake, but I was
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one of those midlife mistakes. But my older brother was
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much older than I was and was more of a
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father figure to me, and so he was the golden
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boy in the family. And when I was going through school,
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I went to a little school that both my brother
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had graduated from and my mother had graduated from a
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little school in Leesburg, Florida. And people all the way
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through school were always comparing me to Mike, who was
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brilliant at math and brilliant at science. And I hated
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I was lukewarm about science. You know, I'm a poet
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and a mystic and a movie maker and a guy
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like that. But don't give me math to solve, you know.
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And so if you've been compared a lot to a
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brilliant sibling. Maybe you get that feeling that you don't
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deserve the spotlight. And I had to really overcome that,
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and I did it in a big way. I overcame that.
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But in first I remember the first time I was
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on television. Oh gosh. When I look at the tape
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of that, it was like a guy mumbling about, Oh
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I I have this new book and it's a new
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very true book and stuff, you know, and it was
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like things I was. The way I was saying, everything
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is so different from the way I've learned to communicate
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now thanks to Oprah another like her, you know, thirty
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or forty years ago.
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So you know this, Not only do we, you know,
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drag this around, these feelings of unworthiness and that we
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don't deserve success or the spotlight, or limitations on how
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much we're allowed to make or a level of you know,
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wealth and so forth. So we dragged these around, but
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also they can cause us to self sabotage.
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Yeah, when you're run by that limiting belief. Let's say
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you have the belief that I don't deserve love because
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you've had a painful past, or you like one of
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my clients brilliant college professor. He grew up in a
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family with four boys, and mom had split when he
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was basically a baby. He never really knew his mother.
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She'd run off with someone and left dad with four kids,
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and he never really saw his mother again. And so
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the father voiced distrust women throughout his childhood. And I
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remember the light going on in this guy when I
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showed him how, hey, look, you learned a set of
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attitudes about women and a set of possibilities, because he
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always said they, you know, like I have a relationship
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for six months and then she runs, you know. So
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he was busily replaying his father's life unconsciously. So those
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old limiting beliefs cause upper limit problems because when we
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start getting some more love in our life, or you
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get a promotion, or you get more money, it trips
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an old switch in us that says you don't deserve that,
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or you need to sabotage yourself. And so that's where
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the upper limit problem comes from, and everybody's got it.
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Don't feel bad if you've got some upper limit problems,
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because you know, like I say, I've worked with CEOs
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and delinquents and movie stars and they're all the same.
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What a transformation isn't just about thinking differently, but feeling differently.
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Science shows us that true change happens when we align
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not just our minds, but also the neural networks in
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our hearts and guts. This heart mind connection is the
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key to deeper healing, resilience, and expanded awareness. That's why
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I created the Heart Mind All Access, membership and community,
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a space designed to help you rewire your nervous system,
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cultivate heart intelligence, and live with greater clarity and purpose.
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00:18:26.200 --> 00:18:31.200
With over one thousand hours of transformational teachings specifically curated
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to meet your needs. You'll learn from world renowned meditation teachers, neuroscientists,
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00:18:37.480 --> 00:18:42.119
and experts in neuroplasticity, all sharing powerful tools to help
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00:18:42.160 --> 00:18:46.519
you shift your mindset and heartset, regulate your emotions, and
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00:18:46.839 --> 00:18:51.519
unlock your full potential. You'll also gain unlimited access to
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every summit and course we've ever produced, a Treasure Trouble
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00:18:54.960 --> 00:18:59.279
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00:18:59.319 --> 00:19:02.759
and an inspire vuring global community to support your journey.
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00:19:03.079 --> 00:19:05.480
If you're ready to step into a more heart centered,
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00:19:05.519 --> 00:19:08.440
connected and conscious life, I invite you to join us.
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00:19:08.839 --> 00:19:11.920
Click the link to learn more and start your journey today.
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So you know, I know you talk about the genius
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so one which you referenced a moment ago as being
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it's like we're getting in touch with really pure consciousness
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or reality as it is. We're getting in touch with
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the most fundamental energy of life. And one of the
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ways we get in touch with that is by actually
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just being with what is and what we may be
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experiencing as entrepreneurs is fear and self doubt and anxiety.
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So how can we, you know, connect with the felt experience,
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the embodied experience of these emotions like fear, and turn
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that into a pathway to connect with the ultimate source
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of creative intelligence and what can allow us to be
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incredibly innovative in entrepreneurs instead of our tendency is going
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to be to want to push out of way or
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numb it out or escape from it.
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Right that is such a key thing. I appreciate you
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for mentioning this, because almost everything in our journey depends
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on befriending fear and being open enough to your fear
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that you make a magic discovery that right there behind
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and beyond and woven in amongst all your fear is
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what I call pure consciousness, which is that pure creative
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intelligence that lives within us all. It's that spark that
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doesn't go out when the wind is blowing. It's that
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part of ourselves that is eternally just because we're human,
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We're in this process of being all the time. But
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then often instead of savoring your being, what we do
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is we get busy so lost in our doing that
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we forget that we even have a being. And you know, gosh,
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I've worked with lots of successful entrepreneurs in their thirties
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forty fifties where they tell me, basically, I left my
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soul behind somewhere there, you know, and I'm in the
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process of trying to figure out if I even have
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one now. And you know, just beginning to ask that
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question is a beautiful thing, but because it means you've
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had a little bit of a light wake up in
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your life and you said, oh, I'm operating out of
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an old program that's making me uncomfortable and maybe even sick.
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I'm operating out of an old program that's keeping me
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from being completely successful in my life. And that's why
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we've all got to get busy looking consciously for our
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upper limits. And feeling our fear consciously, because that'll allow
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you to open up a conversation with your deeper essence
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who you really are, that pure spark of creative intelligence.
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You know, I'm I cultivate that. I've been a daily
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meditator now for let's see, I learned meditation for the
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first time in nineteen seventy one or two, so fifty
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some years. I've been sitting down every day for a
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half an hour or an hour to kind of savor
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my inner experience. Not everybody's built like that, you know.
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Not everybody can sit still and meditate for twenty minutes
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or thirty minutes or anything like that. But you can
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turn your whole life into a meditation. Like one of
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my clients as a personal trainer, who when he first
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came in was about the least spiritual human being you'd
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ever want to meet. You know. He's been this whole
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life pumping iron in a gym, but his job was
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to find out who the person was underneath all those
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weights he'd been pumping to try to get away from
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when he was fifteen years old, you know, because a
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lot of people's journey is based on trying to get
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away from something in your past, and a lot of
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our journey too. Once you wake up a little bit
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is based on kind of what you've pictured for yourself
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in the future, and it tends to pull you toward it.
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So much better form of manifestation to be pulled toward
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the future by a positive vision of yourself than it
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is to be pushed from the past by stuff you're
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trying to get away from.
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Well again, you're pointing again and again to the inner
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dimension of the entrepreneurial journey. And I don't know, but
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some of the entrepreneurs are audiences may be thinking, you know,
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I just need to know how to do so. I
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need to know how to create a marketing plan. I
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need to know how to sell. I don't need to
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know how to improve my products. I need to figure
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out how to use all these tools. I got to
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build a high performance team. I got to manage a
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sales team. You know, all this inner stuff. I don't
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have time for that. I'm curious as to what you
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say for that, because I think people, you know, smart,
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clever people can reach a certain level of success just
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through relentless hard work and determination. But in the end,
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I think they're going to pay a real cost for
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that often shows up in their relationships, their family, their
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own personal will help. So I wonder if you could,
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you know, make the case of how the inner dimension
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of the entrepreneurial journey is not really a luxury but
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a necessity and even something that's really going to be
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the foundation for high level success. It's amazing when I
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read today and the interview people and hear about other
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really successful CEOs and entrepreneurs and billionaires and so forth,
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Well it's all of them meditate today. It's amazing. Maybe
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I'm selective and who I know and what I hear,
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but it's amazing how many really famous people that are
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successful out there are honor that interdimension of the work.
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I'm always amazed when I discover that too. And you
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know a lot of people that are, you know, like
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Howard Stern meditates every day, Jerry Seinfeld meditates every day.
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A lot of people that you don't immediately think would
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be spiritually inclined to have that too. Us. But here's
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the thing. I think, finding our genius and finding out
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our essence and finding out, you know, learning to that
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pure consciousness in this is not a luxury. It's an
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essential thing, because what is the journey of life really
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but an opportunity to learn to love and embrace those
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things which you in the past have repelled and learning
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how to open up to do work you love. In
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a way, it's ultimate challenge for us all because many
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of us have learned that work has to be hard,
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you know, but work doesn't have to be hard. I've
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sat in Michael Doll's office talking to him, and I
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use him as an example a lot, because he's an
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example of, you know, one of the most brilliant minds
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I've ever met. But also you know, has a great
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relationship with his family and has great relationships all around him,
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so he's very well developed as a human being. That's
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not always the case, though, because some people have built
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a persona on top of undealt with stuff that's taken
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them pretty close to the top. But sometimes it's a
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challenge too, you know, because we've worked with people at
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the top, having them enjoy it, getting them to a
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place where they can enjoy their success, you know. Like
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I remember having a big movie star in here, you know,
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and I was suggesting the possibility that he could remove
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some of the wrinkles from his forehead if he stopped
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doing one thing and he said, what is that? I said, well,
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you try to control how other people feel, and if
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you could let go of that and let them have
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their own experience, and he said, well, he almost choked
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at that possibility because he said, well, wait a minute,
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I got ninety people that depend on me for their income.
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You know, I gotta And I said, yes, but it's
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your taking extra responsibility.
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You know.
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It's like you're not only the owner of the store,
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but you're going around doing all the dusting and fretting
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and all that kind of stuff. Anyway, that was a
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beautiful moment because, like you, I'm sure I've had many
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many moments where people let go of something and say
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oh huh, I kind of stick their head up from
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out of the cloud of the old conditioning and say, oh, okay,
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here's a new way for the world to look. What
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if I didn't think of having to control everybody's feelings
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all the time. So learning how to do work we love,
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I mean, what a genuine challenge to give ourselves, learning
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how not only to do work we love, but to
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do work that makes a contribution to the world. To me,
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that's the sweet spot of a successful life. You're doing
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00:27:33.359 --> 00:27:36.160
something you love to do, and you're doing something that
479
00:27:36.720 --> 00:27:39.839
makes a contribution to other people's lives. That's why I
480
00:27:39.880 --> 00:27:43.319
started focusing on for myself forty five years ago when
481
00:27:43.359 --> 00:27:46.880
I first started thinking about this, and to this day
482
00:27:47.319 --> 00:27:50.359
it enlivens my life because here I am almost fifty
483
00:27:50.440 --> 00:27:53.400
years later and I having a good time teaching about
484
00:27:53.400 --> 00:27:56.000
the same things I've been teaching about ty years. So
485
00:27:56.319 --> 00:27:58.200
to me, it's a great honor and a privilege to
486
00:27:58.240 --> 00:28:00.440
be able to share this sort of thing. I'm never
487
00:28:00.480 --> 00:28:02.119
going to get tired of it. You're never going to
488
00:28:02.599 --> 00:28:05.720
pick up a paper and see that day Hendrix is retired.
489
00:28:06.160 --> 00:28:08.640
Well, that comes through loud and clear, so in a
490
00:28:08.759 --> 00:28:12.880
very really, incredibly authentic way. So, yeah, along with your
491
00:28:12.920 --> 00:28:15.480
your wife, Katie Hendrix, You've a big part of your
492
00:28:15.519 --> 00:28:20.680
focus has been conscious relationship and being relationship therapists and
493
00:28:20.920 --> 00:28:25.240
writing books on this and coaching people around conscious relationship.
494
00:28:25.319 --> 00:28:29.480
And you know, so in the entrepreneurial journey, being able
495
00:28:29.519 --> 00:28:33.680
to have positive, creative, innovative relationships with our team, the
496
00:28:33.720 --> 00:28:36.279
people that work for us, the team we build the company,
497
00:28:36.359 --> 00:28:41.559
is incredibly important. And then also our personal relationships are
498
00:28:41.559 --> 00:28:45.000
a really important source of our you know, nurturing us
499
00:28:45.039 --> 00:28:47.960
and our resilience and our strength, our spiritual strength, our
500
00:28:48.000 --> 00:28:50.799
emotional strength. And yet I think a lot of entrepreneurs
501
00:28:50.799 --> 00:28:54.720
get so focused on the business journey and being successful
502
00:28:54.720 --> 00:28:58.839
in business that there's a danger of treating you know,
503
00:28:58.920 --> 00:29:01.880
their team and their employees. There's kind of just you know,
504
00:29:02.119 --> 00:29:04.240
pieces on a chessboard to get to where they want
505
00:29:04.240 --> 00:29:07.000
to go, and then stay so focused on the business
506
00:29:07.000 --> 00:29:11.119
that they start ignoring their personal relationships and confine themselves
507
00:29:11.160 --> 00:29:14.839
on a pretty lonely journey. And that's not really much
508
00:29:14.880 --> 00:29:17.200
of a formula for happiness, but it seems to be
509
00:29:17.279 --> 00:29:19.640
really common in the entrepreneurial journey. I wonder if you
510
00:29:19.640 --> 00:29:22.400
could talk about the importance of relationships and how we
511
00:29:22.440 --> 00:29:26.680
could increase our capacity for a healthy, conscious relationship both
512
00:29:26.720 --> 00:29:29.960
in the workplace and also in our personal life sort
513
00:29:29.960 --> 00:29:32.759
of simultaneously. There is one thing, it's one human skill
514
00:29:32.920 --> 00:29:34.119
we need to get good at.
515
00:29:34.359 --> 00:29:38.519
Yes, and relationship is at the heart and center of everything.
516
00:29:39.079 --> 00:29:43.480
We are relationships because these quadrillion cells that we're entertaining
517
00:29:43.519 --> 00:29:48.079
inside our skin are in relationship with each other and
518
00:29:48.279 --> 00:29:51.359
doing very valuable things like since you and I have
519
00:29:51.480 --> 00:29:55.680
been sitting here talking. Our livers have been busy doing
520
00:29:55.680 --> 00:30:01.240
more than three hundred different activities, and we're run by
521
00:30:01.279 --> 00:30:05.039
a committee inside of millions and millions of people, and
522
00:30:05.079 --> 00:30:09.319
so our relationship first has to start with ourselves. And
523
00:30:09.400 --> 00:30:12.079
so a question, you know, do you have a loving
524
00:30:12.240 --> 00:30:16.160
relationship with yourself? That's a very big question, because a
525
00:30:16.160 --> 00:30:19.400
lot of people don't. But let me see also too,
526
00:30:19.839 --> 00:30:26.079
it's impossible to separate business or entrepreneurship from relationship because,
527
00:30:26.119 --> 00:30:29.799
for example, one of the clearest upper limit problems I
528
00:30:29.839 --> 00:30:33.759
ever saw, I worked with an executive who was in
529
00:30:33.799 --> 00:30:39.640
the technical business that supported the chip industry, and he
530
00:30:39.880 --> 00:30:44.599
invented a machine. And it was an expensive machine at
531
00:30:44.640 --> 00:30:48.200
retail for about three hundred and fifty thousand dollars. So
532
00:30:48.400 --> 00:30:50.640
to buy one of these the chip maker would have
533
00:30:50.680 --> 00:30:53.160
to lay out three hundred and fifty thousand dollars, so
534
00:30:53.200 --> 00:30:56.960
it wasn't a cheap piece of stuff. And so he'd
535
00:30:57.000 --> 00:30:59.319
worked for a couple of years and they launched it
536
00:30:59.359 --> 00:31:04.079
and it went great, and so he was making about
537
00:31:04.160 --> 00:31:07.680
one eighty a year at the time, and his boss
538
00:31:07.720 --> 00:31:11.519
came in on Friday afternoon at three o'clock and said, hey,
539
00:31:12.039 --> 00:31:15.039
it's doing great. The board wants to give you one
540
00:31:15.119 --> 00:31:17.599
hundred and fifty thousand dollars bonus, and he hands him
541
00:31:17.599 --> 00:31:19.880
a check for one hundred and fifty thousand dollars. Well,
542
00:31:19.960 --> 00:31:22.279
didn't matter if it was fifteen dollars or one hundred
543
00:31:22.319 --> 00:31:25.599
fifty thousand dollars. Whatever it was was an amount that
544
00:31:25.799 --> 00:31:29.599
triggered an upper limit problem. In this case, getting one
545
00:31:29.640 --> 00:31:32.119
hundred and fifty thousand dollars bonus. If you're only making
546
00:31:32.160 --> 00:31:33.960
one hundred eighty a year, that's a pretty big deal.
547
00:31:34.039 --> 00:31:37.680
Let's double it out. What happened, though, you would think
548
00:31:37.759 --> 00:31:40.759
he would spend the rest of the day celebrating, take
549
00:31:40.799 --> 00:31:45.599
everybody out for a beer, invite the wife in fam
550
00:31:45.599 --> 00:31:49.880
but knew what he did was take off early and
551
00:31:50.039 --> 00:31:55.599
drove home to surprise wife and family with this. And instead,
552
00:31:55.720 --> 00:31:58.799
he told me he created the biggest argument that they'd
553
00:31:58.799 --> 00:32:03.000
ever had in twelve year years of marriage. That hurts
554
00:32:03.079 --> 00:32:07.519
so badly when you go from to like that, you know,
555
00:32:07.640 --> 00:32:12.319
from exaltation to misery so quickly, and it took them
556
00:32:12.799 --> 00:32:16.680
weeks to kind of dig out from under that. Because
557
00:32:17.240 --> 00:32:20.039
his kids got involved. It was a real messy thing.
558
00:32:20.119 --> 00:32:22.720
But as we looked at the thing what was all
559
00:32:22.759 --> 00:32:27.920
about was not feeling like he deserved to have success
560
00:32:28.160 --> 00:32:32.200
and abundance, so he had to sabotage himself. That's the
561
00:32:32.279 --> 00:32:36.240
upper limit problem in action. So look for little ways
562
00:32:36.720 --> 00:32:40.440
you keep yourself from feeling good. You know, do you
563
00:32:40.599 --> 00:32:45.559
worry a lot instead of simply enjoying being alive and
564
00:32:45.599 --> 00:32:48.559
feeling grateful for being alive. You know a lot of
565
00:32:48.640 --> 00:32:52.079
us don't put ten seconds a day into gratitude and
566
00:32:52.240 --> 00:32:55.359
joy about just being alive. But we need to make
567
00:32:55.400 --> 00:32:58.680
that the background of our life. And to me, life
568
00:32:58.839 --> 00:33:01.960
is not worth living if we're not living it in
569
00:33:02.079 --> 00:33:06.319
love and gratitude. And so let's start there. Let's build
570
00:33:06.400 --> 00:33:09.599
the base of love and gratitude and then build our
571
00:33:09.640 --> 00:33:11.039
success on top of that.
572
00:33:11.519 --> 00:33:15.079
That makes me thinking about as entrepreneurs think we're often
573
00:33:15.119 --> 00:33:17.400
focused on making things happen, and we do need to
574
00:33:17.400 --> 00:33:20.000
make things happen, but it can become a very kind
575
00:33:20.000 --> 00:33:22.200
of mechanical thing. I just got to make this happen,
576
00:33:22.240 --> 00:33:25.319
and make that happen, make this happen. And there's another
577
00:33:25.480 --> 00:33:27.839
part of it that has to do with, you know,
578
00:33:28.000 --> 00:33:32.599
kind of attraction and energy and manifestation. And I'm not
579
00:33:32.720 --> 00:33:35.000
talking about some wooos and that we can just think
580
00:33:35.039 --> 00:33:38.880
of something that's going to happen by magic. But there's
581
00:33:38.880 --> 00:33:42.440
some factor who we're being, how we're showing up, who
582
00:33:42.519 --> 00:33:45.000
we're being in our relationships, who we're being as a
583
00:33:45.079 --> 00:33:48.480
leader in our company, is going to create an energy that,
584
00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:50.599
if we combine it with doing the right things, is
585
00:33:50.680 --> 00:33:53.279
much more likely to lead to success. I think I'm
586
00:33:53.319 --> 00:33:56.160
curious about your thoughts of the importance of kind of
587
00:33:56.599 --> 00:33:59.359
what is the energy I'm putting into the world, into
588
00:33:59.359 --> 00:34:02.920
my relationship chips, into the relational field, into the energetic
589
00:34:02.920 --> 00:34:05.319
field of my life. Is it one of fear and
590
00:34:05.359 --> 00:34:09.119
constriction or or is there some kind of a different
591
00:34:09.119 --> 00:34:11.639
way of being that's more attractive, it's actually going to
592
00:34:11.639 --> 00:34:13.719
attract opportunities and attract success.
593
00:34:14.320 --> 00:34:16.559
Yes, I think one thing you're touching on there is
594
00:34:16.599 --> 00:34:19.960
something I feel is so important, is that you know,
595
00:34:20.000 --> 00:34:24.199
we talk often about letting go of something, you know,
596
00:34:24.400 --> 00:34:28.199
letting go of fear, or letting go of our anger,
597
00:34:28.320 --> 00:34:31.039
or letting go of our resentment at a particular person.
598
00:34:31.599 --> 00:34:34.440
But a lot of people think that means letting go
599
00:34:34.599 --> 00:34:37.679
means they have to drop it like something. But there's
600
00:34:37.719 --> 00:34:41.400
a whole other way of letting go, which is letting be,
601
00:34:42.280 --> 00:34:46.920
in other words, opening your heart and accepting it and
602
00:34:47.039 --> 00:34:49.960
letting it rest comfortably in the palm of your hand,
603
00:34:50.119 --> 00:34:52.920
rather than trying to drop it like a hot rock.
604
00:34:53.480 --> 00:34:57.639
And so oftentimes, and you know, we talked about fear earlier.
605
00:34:58.199 --> 00:35:01.719
Fear can only be dealt with by being felt, by
606
00:35:01.760 --> 00:35:07.280
being honored, by being ultimately accepted and loved in ourself.
607
00:35:07.639 --> 00:35:11.239
And that's a challenge because since the time we're growing up,
608
00:35:11.280 --> 00:35:13.000
a lot of people have been trying to talk us
609
00:35:13.000 --> 00:35:15.519
out of our feelings all the time. You know, when
610
00:35:15.599 --> 00:35:18.480
we were throwing a temper tantrum when we were two
611
00:35:18.559 --> 00:35:22.079
years old, usually our parents were concerned with making a stop,
612
00:35:22.239 --> 00:35:25.239
especially if we were doing a public and so a
613
00:35:25.280 --> 00:35:29.119
lot of the programming goes into how not to feel
614
00:35:29.239 --> 00:35:33.320
yourself at deeper and deeper levels. And so, you know,
615
00:35:33.360 --> 00:35:37.079
I always say, the personality that gets you to forty
616
00:35:37.559 --> 00:35:40.320
is not the personality that's going to get you to eighty,
617
00:35:41.079 --> 00:35:43.519
because you know, a lot of times, the first half
618
00:35:43.559 --> 00:35:46.280
of our life up to forty is so built on
619
00:35:46.920 --> 00:35:50.000
finding our life and building our life and getting our
620
00:35:50.039 --> 00:35:53.800
life into order and things like that that we don't
621
00:35:53.880 --> 00:35:58.840
realize that that kind of effort is not strategically useful
622
00:35:58.920 --> 00:36:01.639
in the second half of our life, that we have
623
00:36:01.719 --> 00:36:06.480
to go about in a very real sense dismantling aspects
624
00:36:06.480 --> 00:36:09.719
of our personality that got us here when we're around
625
00:36:09.760 --> 00:36:13.440
forty years old, and you know, that's just an estimate forty,
626
00:36:13.480 --> 00:36:15.320
but it could be when you're forty two or thirty
627
00:36:15.360 --> 00:36:18.400
eight or whatever. I mostly work with I work with
628
00:36:18.559 --> 00:36:22.519
four young entrepreneurs a year, or that's been my pattern.
629
00:36:22.599 --> 00:36:26.000
I'm working with a couple less now I'm working with two.
630
00:36:26.079 --> 00:36:29.440
I should mention that I've been rehabbing an injury over
631
00:36:29.480 --> 00:36:32.400
the past year or two where I fractured my femur
632
00:36:32.480 --> 00:36:34.639
and have had a couple of surgeries and everything, so
633
00:36:35.039 --> 00:36:37.800
I'm kind of stepped back, but I'm working with two
634
00:36:37.880 --> 00:36:40.639
people right now, kind of getting back into it. And
635
00:36:41.280 --> 00:36:44.960
the people that come to me are usually pretty successful
636
00:36:45.079 --> 00:36:48.280
people that are in their thirties or forties and are
637
00:36:48.679 --> 00:36:52.400
just about ready. They feel that big leap coming, but
638
00:36:52.440 --> 00:36:55.280
they don't know exactly how to do it, and so
639
00:36:55.480 --> 00:36:59.440
that's where I oftentimes get involved. And so I want
640
00:36:59.480 --> 00:37:02.760
to that because in developmental psychology, we have this whole
641
00:37:02.880 --> 00:37:06.719
saying in your twenties. Your job is to experiment. In
642
00:37:06.760 --> 00:37:10.360
your thirties, you find your life. In your forties, you
643
00:37:10.400 --> 00:37:14.519
build your life. And that is a good amount of
644
00:37:14.599 --> 00:37:17.920
truth to it, because oftentimes it's not until our forties
645
00:37:18.320 --> 00:37:21.639
we really see where we want to go. And if
646
00:37:21.679 --> 00:37:24.960
you take that to heart, this idea of finding our
647
00:37:25.000 --> 00:37:27.239
life in our thirties, building our life in our forties,
648
00:37:27.639 --> 00:37:33.000
it's essential to build that life on something really solid
649
00:37:33.079 --> 00:37:36.639
that's not based on you stressing out all the time.
650
00:37:37.039 --> 00:37:39.280
And the only way that I know to do that
651
00:37:40.000 --> 00:37:44.719
is by gradually opening up to feeling who you really are,
652
00:37:44.960 --> 00:37:49.719
what you most love, your being level kinds of things.
653
00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:54.119
Because up until your forties, it's often doing that has
654
00:37:54.199 --> 00:37:56.840
gotten a lot of your attention. And that's not to
655
00:37:56.880 --> 00:38:00.039
make that wrong. It's just a natural progression of life.
656
00:38:00.159 --> 00:38:02.880
But folks, if you are in your twenties or thirties
657
00:38:02.920 --> 00:38:05.679
and are listening to this or watching this, I want
658
00:38:05.800 --> 00:38:10.400
you also to begin to open up to your genius
659
00:38:10.480 --> 00:38:13.360
zone too, because you don't have to wait till you're
660
00:38:13.639 --> 00:38:16.440
in your forties and have some kind of midlife crisis.
661
00:38:16.800 --> 00:38:19.199
So a lot of the things you've been talking about,
662
00:38:19.320 --> 00:38:22.599
you know, being willing to feel some of the thing.
663
00:38:22.719 --> 00:38:25.079
You know, if we have some feelings of unworthiness and
664
00:38:25.519 --> 00:38:27.840
these kind of things, the willingness to feel that we're
665
00:38:27.840 --> 00:38:30.440
dealing with, fear and anxiety, willing to go there, all
666
00:38:30.440 --> 00:38:32.880
the things that we're kind of conditioned to avoid. You're
667
00:38:32.920 --> 00:38:35.239
asking us to go there and feel it, and you're
668
00:38:35.280 --> 00:38:38.079
asking us to make this shift from doing the being
669
00:38:38.159 --> 00:38:40.480
and get in touch with that deeper dimension of our
670
00:38:40.519 --> 00:38:41.559
life and so forth.
671
00:38:41.760 --> 00:38:42.719
So how do we do that?
672
00:38:42.880 --> 00:38:46.079
So one thing I wanted to bring forward with you
673
00:38:46.239 --> 00:38:50.159
is because you've been a long time practitioner and teacher
674
00:38:50.159 --> 00:38:52.679
of breath work, and you came out with one of
675
00:38:52.679 --> 00:38:55.519
the early books on breath. Breath work is getting a
676
00:38:55.559 --> 00:38:57.760
lot of attention today, but you were really one of
677
00:38:57.800 --> 00:39:00.159
the early teachers, and I wonder if you could talk
678
00:39:00.239 --> 00:39:03.039
about breath work as a simple practice that can help
679
00:39:03.119 --> 00:39:05.239
us do a lot of the things you're talking about.
680
00:39:05.440 --> 00:39:08.480
It's really important as you go along in your journey
681
00:39:08.519 --> 00:39:13.119
to make it a mind, body spirit journey, not just
682
00:39:13.199 --> 00:39:16.079
a mind journey and or a body journey. Like I
683
00:39:16.159 --> 00:39:19.920
mentioned my trainer client who was fifteen years old, he
684
00:39:20.000 --> 00:39:23.119
was homeless on the streets and he walked past a
685
00:39:23.199 --> 00:39:26.599
gym one night and they invited him in and he
686
00:39:26.679 --> 00:39:30.199
became a body builder and a famous one. But it
687
00:39:30.320 --> 00:39:33.039
was built on top of a whole bunch of stuff
688
00:39:33.039 --> 00:39:35.440
at the age fifteen that he had never dealt with,
689
00:39:36.000 --> 00:39:39.679
and so that was holding him back. Once he learned
690
00:39:39.679 --> 00:39:44.760
to embrace the whole, then life began to open up magically.
691
00:39:45.119 --> 00:39:48.360
And so it's important for us to remember that we
692
00:39:48.480 --> 00:39:54.239
are breathing beings, we are moving beings, we are emotional beings,
693
00:39:54.639 --> 00:39:57.639
and all of those things are things that are felt
694
00:39:57.679 --> 00:40:01.440
in our bodies. I work with people all the time
695
00:40:01.559 --> 00:40:05.360
that have kind of cut themselves off from themselves. So
696
00:40:05.440 --> 00:40:08.400
when I say something like, when you feel fear, where
697
00:40:08.400 --> 00:40:11.599
do you feel it in their body? They'll say, huh,
698
00:40:11.760 --> 00:40:15.559
what do you mean? And later on they're able to say, oh,
699
00:40:15.679 --> 00:40:19.159
I feel it as a spreading wave of butterflies and
700
00:40:19.239 --> 00:40:23.239
a tight belt light feeling around my stomach. Well, you know,
701
00:40:23.280 --> 00:40:26.199
that's a good description of fear. But to do that
702
00:40:26.320 --> 00:40:29.559
means you've got to go in there and savor all
703
00:40:29.639 --> 00:40:32.119
that stuff a whole bunch of times and appreciate it
704
00:40:32.199 --> 00:40:35.400
and be with it. And so breathing is one of
705
00:40:35.440 --> 00:40:39.480
the easiest best ways to do that, and for a
706
00:40:39.559 --> 00:40:43.000
kind of an interesting scientific reason too. If you look
707
00:40:43.039 --> 00:40:46.760
at the breath science over the past thirty or forty years.
708
00:40:47.280 --> 00:40:50.480
When I first started way back forty or fifty years ago,
709
00:40:51.119 --> 00:40:56.159
I reviewed the entire literature on using breathing for improving
710
00:40:56.159 --> 00:40:59.400
your mental health or physical performance or anything like that.
711
00:41:00.000 --> 00:41:03.199
And it took me about forty five minutes because there
712
00:41:03.239 --> 00:41:06.639
were a very small number of those. By the time
713
00:41:06.719 --> 00:41:09.440
I got out a graduate school, there was something like
714
00:41:09.559 --> 00:41:12.559
three hundred studies had been done, so it was a
715
00:41:12.599 --> 00:41:16.920
catching on in the zeitgeist. Now, if you go, like
716
00:41:17.039 --> 00:41:18.800
a few years ago, a friend of mine went to
717
00:41:18.840 --> 00:41:23.039
an American Medical Association convention down and I think it
718
00:41:23.079 --> 00:41:26.360
was Fort Lauderdale, and he came back and he said,
719
00:41:26.440 --> 00:41:30.679
I was blown away by the number of workshops they
720
00:41:30.760 --> 00:41:35.559
had on things like breath work and stretching. You know,
721
00:41:35.639 --> 00:41:38.400
all of these things that people would have laughed at
722
00:41:38.559 --> 00:41:41.599
fifty years ago if somebody said it contributed to your
723
00:41:41.719 --> 00:41:45.960
mental health. Well, here's a great little secret that almost
724
00:41:45.960 --> 00:41:49.920
nobody knows. Is that it only takes three or four
725
00:41:50.320 --> 00:41:55.360
easy breaths to begin to melt the stress chemistry out
726
00:41:55.400 --> 00:41:58.320
of your bloodstream. And what I mean by that is
727
00:41:58.360 --> 00:42:03.079
if you can slow your breath down to a certain pace,
728
00:42:03.719 --> 00:42:08.159
it actually turns off the stuff in there that's making
729
00:42:08.199 --> 00:42:11.000
you anxious. And so one of the first things I
730
00:42:11.159 --> 00:42:14.559
invite people to do, in fact, I'll give you guys
731
00:42:14.559 --> 00:42:18.559
a twenty five thousand dollars gift when executives are come
732
00:42:18.599 --> 00:42:20.840
here or are sent here for a day of work
733
00:42:20.880 --> 00:42:23.800
with us. It's twenty five thousand dollars. But the very
734
00:42:23.800 --> 00:42:26.360
first thing we do is we ask them to go
735
00:42:26.400 --> 00:42:29.519
in a little room by themselves for ten minutes and
736
00:42:30.199 --> 00:42:34.440
simply say one thing out loud or in their mind,
737
00:42:35.039 --> 00:42:39.679
and then take three easy breaths, and we coach them
738
00:42:39.760 --> 00:42:43.960
to have the breaths slow down till they're about six
739
00:42:44.159 --> 00:42:46.159
or seven of them a minute, And that means that
740
00:42:46.239 --> 00:42:51.039
it takes five seconds to breathe in and then five
741
00:42:51.199 --> 00:42:53.840
seconds or so to breathe out, to make it one
742
00:42:54.559 --> 00:42:58.400
whole round trip that takes ten seconds. And so there's
743
00:42:58.440 --> 00:43:01.000
a big clock on the wall that they can see
744
00:43:01.000 --> 00:43:04.800
what ten seconds look like. And so the thing we
745
00:43:04.880 --> 00:43:07.519
asked them to say in their mind are out loud
746
00:43:08.119 --> 00:43:11.960
is we invite them to say, read and then in
747
00:43:12.079 --> 00:43:18.480
your mind, are out loud, say I commit to loving myself,
748
00:43:19.039 --> 00:43:22.480
finding out what I most love to do, and then
749
00:43:22.679 --> 00:43:27.079
three easy breaths. Now here's something. At the end of
750
00:43:27.119 --> 00:43:31.039
that ten minutes people have come out and said, I'm
751
00:43:31.079 --> 00:43:33.639
going home now, tell them to fire up the jet.
752
00:43:33.719 --> 00:43:38.039
I got everything I needed by ten minutes past nine o'clock.
753
00:43:38.559 --> 00:43:40.920
Now we keep them here for the whole day anyway.
754
00:43:40.960 --> 00:43:44.760
But that's the impact because a lot of people have
755
00:43:44.960 --> 00:43:48.519
never done anything remotely like that. They've never had the
756
00:43:48.639 --> 00:43:53.440
thought of that life could be about learning to love self,
757
00:43:53.760 --> 00:43:57.400
others and learning how to do what you love. That's
758
00:43:57.639 --> 00:44:02.039
a life path that I know makes people happy, and
759
00:44:02.079 --> 00:44:06.760
I'm absolutely comfortable inviting people to make a commitment to
760
00:44:06.880 --> 00:44:10.559
doing that. But here's the interesting thing. I'll ask people,
761
00:44:10.639 --> 00:44:15.599
you know, what happened during that three easy breaths, and
762
00:44:16.039 --> 00:44:18.800
they'll tell me, first of all, I had trouble doing it.
763
00:44:18.880 --> 00:44:21.000
I you know, my breath was a lot faster that
764
00:44:21.159 --> 00:44:23.119
but they need to get it down, to slow down
765
00:44:23.159 --> 00:44:26.599
to the pace that turns off the chemistry. They'll tell
766
00:44:26.639 --> 00:44:31.159
me that they started getting mind chatter back that was
767
00:44:31.239 --> 00:44:35.519
about that thing. They said. Like they'd say, I commit
768
00:44:35.639 --> 00:44:39.280
to loving myself and doing what I most love to do,
769
00:44:39.400 --> 00:44:42.159
and then Immediately their mind would kick in, Oh, don't
770
00:44:42.199 --> 00:44:46.920
be ridiculous. That's gurly style. You know, that's touchy feely stuff,
771
00:44:47.239 --> 00:44:50.960
all that kind of stuff. So I've actually had macho men,
772
00:44:51.000 --> 00:44:54.880
you know, tell me that's gurly stuff, and it's everybody's
773
00:44:54.880 --> 00:44:58.679
stuff because you've been equated for many years and study
774
00:44:58.679 --> 00:45:01.960
Buddhism and everything. I think at one point I remember
775
00:45:02.000 --> 00:45:05.199
a quotation alleged to be made by the Buddha where
776
00:45:05.199 --> 00:45:07.920
he said that in order to develop as human beings,
777
00:45:07.920 --> 00:45:10.639
we need to come into harmony with I think it
778
00:45:10.679 --> 00:45:14.880
was thirty four masculine elements and thirty four feminine elements
779
00:45:14.920 --> 00:45:18.480
of ourselves. But it was all about expanding to embrace
780
00:45:18.599 --> 00:45:23.519
the whole. And that is something that I will tirelessly
781
00:45:23.599 --> 00:45:25.920
teach all of my life because I've been in a
782
00:45:25.960 --> 00:45:30.079
place where I didn't accept all of myself. I've been
783
00:45:30.119 --> 00:45:33.079
in a place where I hated myself. I used to
784
00:45:33.119 --> 00:45:36.360
weigh a hundred pounds more than I weigh fifty years ago.
785
00:45:36.400 --> 00:45:40.920
I lost one hundred pounds by discovering myself and finding
786
00:45:40.960 --> 00:45:44.519
out my being and learning to accept my emotions and
787
00:45:44.639 --> 00:45:49.760
kicking all my addictions like smoking cigarettes and getting into
788
00:45:50.119 --> 00:45:53.880
unpleasant relationships and eating terrible food and all of that.
789
00:45:53.920 --> 00:45:56.400
But you know those things as well as I do.
790
00:45:56.480 --> 00:45:59.519
Everybody knows what we shouldn't be doing, but how to
791
00:46:00.400 --> 00:46:05.000
uncover the part of ourself that wouldn't even dream of
792
00:46:05.119 --> 00:46:07.800
doing one of our addictions anymore. You know, I don't
793
00:46:07.840 --> 00:46:11.280
have dreams about smoking a cigarette at age eighty. Now.
794
00:46:11.760 --> 00:46:13.920
I just turned eighty. I turned eighty a couple of
795
00:46:13.960 --> 00:46:16.239
months ago. Now I've been thinking a lot about my
796
00:46:16.880 --> 00:46:20.320
life because also my best friend, eighty two year old
797
00:46:20.320 --> 00:46:24.719
best friend died just before New Year, and I had
798
00:46:24.719 --> 00:46:27.480
the opportunity to sit with him as he was passing
799
00:46:27.559 --> 00:46:30.119
out of this existence, and it really brought up in
800
00:46:30.159 --> 00:46:33.480
my face a lot of things that we're talking about today,
801
00:46:33.519 --> 00:46:36.239
And I'm glad we're talking about them, because they inform
802
00:46:36.679 --> 00:46:40.679
entrepreneurism just as much as they inform the living us
803
00:46:40.719 --> 00:46:43.199
a successful life in other ways.
804
00:46:43.679 --> 00:46:46.800
Well, I'm just sitting here enjoy an ecstasy knowing that
805
00:46:47.679 --> 00:46:50.639
all the wonderful entrepreneurs are ands are getting a chance
806
00:46:50.679 --> 00:46:52.639
to listen to this and listen to this wisdom, and
807
00:46:52.679 --> 00:46:55.199
I just so I hope that people will embrace this
808
00:46:55.400 --> 00:46:58.079
and even just start giving a little bit of time
809
00:46:58.159 --> 00:47:00.000
to this in their lives, a little bit of time
810
00:47:00.119 --> 00:47:03.159
to being a little bit of time to meditation or
811
00:47:03.199 --> 00:47:05.840
breadth work or inner work, or a little more time
812
00:47:05.920 --> 00:47:08.519
to the relational part of our lives, right, because the
813
00:47:08.519 --> 00:47:09.960
payoff is just huge.
814
00:47:10.320 --> 00:47:10.519
You know.
815
00:47:10.679 --> 00:47:13.320
It's been said that I know a number well known
816
00:47:13.440 --> 00:47:16.199
entrepreneurs and teachers of entrepreneurship has said that we can
817
00:47:16.239 --> 00:47:19.000
only go as far as our own personal evolution. We
818
00:47:19.039 --> 00:47:21.519
can only go as far and success only goes so
819
00:47:21.679 --> 00:47:24.920
far as our own personal evolution. And it's also been
820
00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:27.880
said that our equal our net worth, and of course
821
00:47:27.960 --> 00:47:31.039
you know that's really important in entrepreneurship has developed good networks.
822
00:47:31.039 --> 00:47:33.280
But that's all about relationship and who we're being and
823
00:47:33.320 --> 00:47:36.960
what we're attracting. Right, So everything you're talking about here
824
00:47:37.039 --> 00:47:41.400
is it's just so important. And you know, despite our
825
00:47:41.440 --> 00:47:44.639
best efforts to do this, the world can be really challenging.
826
00:47:44.719 --> 00:47:48.679
Business can be really challenging, and I wonder, you know,
827
00:47:49.239 --> 00:47:51.280
I think you've been pointing us in this direction, but
828
00:47:51.360 --> 00:47:54.599
how to develop the resilience so that when the tough
829
00:47:54.639 --> 00:47:57.280
stuff happens. I mean, you've recently had an accent to
830
00:47:57.719 --> 00:48:00.159
accident that you've bounced back from, you shared with mere
831
00:48:00.159 --> 00:48:04.320
out playing golf now, So developing that resilience that we're
832
00:48:04.360 --> 00:48:08.159
gonna need, you know, it's inescapable. No matter how well
833
00:48:08.199 --> 00:48:10.559
we try to orchestrate our lives, we're going to run
834
00:48:10.559 --> 00:48:14.159
into major obstacles, especially if we're entrepreneurs. And so I
835
00:48:14.199 --> 00:48:17.119
wanted to get to say something about developing that reservoir
836
00:48:17.119 --> 00:48:20.639
of resilience that will help us get through those tough challenges.
837
00:48:21.320 --> 00:48:25.880
Yeah. Well, resilience is something that I think some of
838
00:48:25.960 --> 00:48:29.159
us may be instinctually born with that and everything like that,
839
00:48:29.199 --> 00:48:31.679
but I think most of us have to cultivate that
840
00:48:32.239 --> 00:48:36.519
by repeated experiences, like for example, one of the valuable
841
00:48:36.519 --> 00:48:41.280
things about meditation is it starts out for me anyway
842
00:48:41.400 --> 00:48:45.159
where I'm using a mantra, and very soon it gets
843
00:48:45.239 --> 00:48:48.360
down to a place where you know there there's no
844
00:48:48.440 --> 00:48:51.840
more fault, there's no more feeling, there's just that pure consciousness.
845
00:48:52.440 --> 00:48:55.480
And that's one of the reasons I do that. In
846
00:48:55.519 --> 00:48:57.519
one way or the other. We all have to learn
847
00:48:57.599 --> 00:49:02.360
to do something like that, which is be comfortable going inside,
848
00:49:02.440 --> 00:49:05.159
because if we're not, we're going to do something on
849
00:49:05.199 --> 00:49:09.000
the outside that interferes with that. Like Hollywood producer that
850
00:49:09.559 --> 00:49:12.800
wrote a beautiful essay. Can Hect is his name, and
851
00:49:12.840 --> 00:49:15.559
he weighed one hundred and twenty pounds more than he
852
00:49:15.639 --> 00:49:20.079
wanted to weigh, and he kicked it, so to speak,
853
00:49:20.159 --> 00:49:23.800
the habit. One night, in front of the refrigerator, he
854
00:49:23.880 --> 00:49:27.880
had this insight, Wait a minute, I'm feeling anxious and lonely.
855
00:49:28.360 --> 00:49:32.360
What if I just let myself feel anxious and lonely
856
00:49:32.960 --> 00:49:37.119
and didn't open the refrigerator and put something in on
857
00:49:37.199 --> 00:49:39.159
top of that to make it go away. That was
858
00:49:39.199 --> 00:49:43.880
a brilliant, amazing insight. And he did it, and one
859
00:49:43.960 --> 00:49:47.320
hundred and twenty pounds later, he was still doing it.
860
00:49:47.360 --> 00:49:52.039
In other words, when he would feel that anxious, lonely
861
00:49:52.239 --> 00:49:55.320
thing come alive in him that he used to stuff
862
00:49:55.800 --> 00:49:59.440
with food, instead he just let himself feel that and
863
00:49:59.519 --> 00:50:03.360
keep feeling it. And sometimes it lasted twenty seconds, sometimes
864
00:50:03.360 --> 00:50:06.239
it lasted two minutes, but he said it never lasted
865
00:50:06.280 --> 00:50:08.760
all day. I mean, that's what we fear, I think,
866
00:50:08.880 --> 00:50:11.760
is if we're open up to something like that, it'll
867
00:50:11.800 --> 00:50:13.679
just be there the rest of our lives and we'll
868
00:50:13.719 --> 00:50:17.639
be in a perpetual rage or sadness or fear or whatever.
869
00:50:17.880 --> 00:50:19.800
But it works the other way around. If you open
870
00:50:19.880 --> 00:50:23.159
up to something with clear intent and a curiosity and
871
00:50:23.199 --> 00:50:27.679
a wonder about it. Wow, it just reveals itself quickly.
872
00:50:28.239 --> 00:50:33.800
Wonder is our underused superpower in my view, because the
873
00:50:33.920 --> 00:50:39.039
act of wondering about something puts you right close to
874
00:50:39.320 --> 00:50:45.320
pure consciousness. Wonder means I don't know and I really
875
00:50:45.360 --> 00:50:49.079
want to know. If you genuinely wonder about something, it
876
00:50:49.159 --> 00:50:53.800
opens up incredible space because you're acknowledging that you don't
877
00:50:53.880 --> 00:50:57.679
know and you're acknowledging that you want to know. And
878
00:50:57.760 --> 00:51:02.280
so in that tension comes opening of pure consciousness.
879
00:51:03.559 --> 00:51:05.920
Before we started the interview, we were talking a little
880
00:51:05.960 --> 00:51:09.000
bit about you met my zen teacher, Bernie Glassman, and
881
00:51:09.320 --> 00:51:11.840
he grounded all of his teaching in his framework of
882
00:51:12.000 --> 00:51:15.199
not knowing, bragging witness and then what could end up
883
00:51:15.199 --> 00:51:18.320
being loving action, compassion action, or even business. I've thought
884
00:51:18.400 --> 00:51:21.239
this framework in business. It could be effective action that
885
00:51:21.360 --> 00:51:24.599
we let go into not knowing, into wonder, into awe
886
00:51:25.039 --> 00:51:27.760
and then we're just willing to be with what is,
887
00:51:27.800 --> 00:51:30.679
and out of that that creative intelligence always arives and
888
00:51:30.760 --> 00:51:33.280
shines the light on the way forward. So so glad
889
00:51:33.320 --> 00:51:36.800
you brought that forward. So yeah, I'm just curious if
890
00:51:36.840 --> 00:51:40.000
there's any any last kind of message you would like
891
00:51:40.119 --> 00:51:43.199
to share with audience out there for people that are
892
00:51:43.360 --> 00:51:46.800
considering starting a business being entrepreneurs, or maybe they're they're
893
00:51:46.800 --> 00:51:49.320
on their journey already and they're having some struggles or
894
00:51:49.320 --> 00:51:51.760
we're not sure how they're going to scale the next level.
895
00:51:52.320 --> 00:51:55.320
Just any kind of a last piece of wisdom you'd
896
00:51:55.320 --> 00:51:58.599
like to share with our entrepreneurs. I mean, I love entrepreneurs.
897
00:51:58.639 --> 00:52:01.400
I'm an entrepreneur, you're an outo. I just love the
898
00:52:01.400 --> 00:52:04.360
There's something about the energy living in a sense of possibility,
899
00:52:04.360 --> 00:52:06.280
but we can lose that, we can get bogged down.
900
00:52:06.360 --> 00:52:09.119
And I'm just wondering if there's any last thing you'd
901
00:52:09.159 --> 00:52:09.639
like to share.
902
00:52:10.079 --> 00:52:13.719
Yes, well, that's beautiful too. Also keep in mind the
903
00:52:13.840 --> 00:52:17.639
body whenever you're considering yourself, to really open up to
904
00:52:17.719 --> 00:52:21.400
what you're feeling in your body. So number one, make
905
00:52:21.480 --> 00:52:24.960
friends with your body. Make friends with fear, make friends
906
00:52:25.000 --> 00:52:28.239
with anger, make friends with sadness. All of these things
907
00:52:28.239 --> 00:52:32.280
are organic things, like fear has been here longer than
908
00:52:32.519 --> 00:52:36.400
we have because if you look at other forms of life,
909
00:52:36.480 --> 00:52:40.599
they still had the tendency to contract under stress, which
910
00:52:40.639 --> 00:52:43.400
we often still do. But I think we're at a
911
00:52:43.480 --> 00:52:46.840
stage of evolution now where we need to learn to
912
00:52:47.000 --> 00:52:51.480
expand under stress and expand in wonder and open this
913
00:52:51.639 --> 00:52:54.920
and say where can this lead me? So to me,
914
00:52:55.760 --> 00:53:02.400
entrepreneurs are blessed with an occasion problem they can't solve.
915
00:53:02.559 --> 00:53:06.000
Like I just had a great conversation with a thirty
916
00:53:06.000 --> 00:53:08.639
eight year old woman entrepreneur that I've coached for a
917
00:53:08.679 --> 00:53:11.719
couple of years, and she'd called me in a panic
918
00:53:11.800 --> 00:53:15.440
and said one team member had quit and something or
919
00:53:15.480 --> 00:53:18.239
other had happened, and what was going on? And the
920
00:53:18.239 --> 00:53:21.800
first thing I said, Well, I said, if you're an
921
00:53:22.039 --> 00:53:26.599
entrepreneur and things don't feel like they're falling apart every
922
00:53:26.679 --> 00:53:29.920
six months or so, you're probably not taking on a
923
00:53:29.960 --> 00:53:34.519
big enough task in your life. Because when you're really
924
00:53:34.840 --> 00:53:37.679
if you're riding in an ox cart at zero point
925
00:53:37.719 --> 00:53:41.360
five miles per hour, you don't have to pay much attention.
926
00:53:42.039 --> 00:53:45.480
But if you're operating a Ferrari or a whatever at
927
00:53:45.480 --> 00:53:47.920
one hundred and eighty miles an hour, you got to
928
00:53:48.079 --> 00:53:51.519
really pay attention to what's going on. And to me,
929
00:53:52.400 --> 00:53:55.440
entrepreneuring gets to be big fun if you're taking on
930
00:53:56.039 --> 00:53:58.840
big projects and taking on things that give you a
931
00:53:58.920 --> 00:54:01.960
stretch and just the thing I want to tell you
932
00:54:02.159 --> 00:54:04.679
is remember there's going to be a stretch, and so
933
00:54:04.800 --> 00:54:08.800
greet it with openness, love and consideration, and do your
934
00:54:08.800 --> 00:54:11.960
best to notice when you get scared and then savor
935
00:54:12.039 --> 00:54:13.440
that and move beyond that.
936
00:54:14.039 --> 00:54:17.119
Wonderful, absolutely wonderful place to leave our audience at the
937
00:54:17.239 --> 00:54:18.000
end of this interview.
938
00:54:18.079 --> 00:54:19.039
So thank you so much.
939
00:54:19.079 --> 00:54:23.159
This has been illuminating. Gay Gay Hendrix, PhD, author of
940
00:54:23.239 --> 00:54:25.400
Cops Is Loving and many other books like The Big
941
00:54:25.519 --> 00:54:27.079
Leap and The Corporate Mystic.
942
00:54:27.480 --> 00:54:30.199
Where can people find out more about your work? Well,
943
00:54:30.239 --> 00:54:32.840
hendricks dot com is always a good place. Ht N
944
00:54:32.960 --> 00:54:37.320
dri cks dot com also having you book out called
945
00:54:37.559 --> 00:54:41.519
Your Big Leap Year, that three hundred sixty five or
946
00:54:41.519 --> 00:54:45.039
actually three hundred sixty six daily meditations because there's a
947
00:54:45.159 --> 00:54:47.599
leap here occasionally and so we put an extra and
948
00:54:47.639 --> 00:54:49.960
in for Leap Years. But that's got all of the
949
00:54:49.960 --> 00:54:52.639
stuff we've been talking about broken down into one day
950
00:54:52.679 --> 00:54:55.400
at a time kind of things. So hendrixs dot com
951
00:54:55.440 --> 00:54:55.719
is good.
952
00:54:56.000 --> 00:54:56.119
UH.
953
00:54:56.440 --> 00:55:00.280
Foundation for Conscious Living is our nonprofit organization. It has
954
00:55:00.280 --> 00:55:02.559
a lot of videos and things like that there if
955
00:55:02.559 --> 00:55:05.360
people would like to look at those. Wonderful Thank you
956
00:55:05.400 --> 00:55:07.199
so much. Thank youthleet.
957
00:55:07.559 --> 00:55:11.360
Taking radical responsibility for our lives means taking action, and
958
00:55:11.480 --> 00:55:14.239
today you can start by helping us grow this community.
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If these insights into healing and transformation have served you,
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please subscribe on YouTube and follow us on Apple Podcasts
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and Spotify. While you're there, leave us a review. It
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takes thirty seconds, but it's the most powerful way to
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help our message reach someone else seeking deeper self awareness.
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Thank you for being part of the journey towards lasting
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change as