Dr. Srikumar Rao | The Inner Freedom of Letting Go of Control

WEBVTT
1
00:00:02.600 --> 00:00:06.519
Welcome to the Radical Responsibility Podcast. I'm doctor Fleet Mall
2
00:00:06.679 --> 00:00:09.119
and I'm excited to guide you on a journey of
3
00:00:09.199 --> 00:00:12.880
authentic transformation. In each episode, I'll bring you insights from
4
00:00:12.960 --> 00:00:18.280
leading experts to explore trauma recovery, mindfuluence practices, positive psychology,
5
00:00:18.320 --> 00:00:23.000
and innovative breakthroughs in health, wellness and life optimization. This
6
00:00:23.039 --> 00:00:26.640
is a space for real conversations that inspire meaningful change,
7
00:00:26.719 --> 00:00:29.600
helping you find alignment with the person you are always
8
00:00:29.600 --> 00:00:35.320
meant to be. Let's get started. My name is doctor
9
00:00:35.399 --> 00:00:38.159
Fleet Mall, your co host for the session, and I'm
10
00:00:38.200 --> 00:00:41.600
really happy to be here today with doctor shrik Kumar Rau.
11
00:00:41.880 --> 00:00:45.880
Welcome, my pleasure. Entylie Fleet. I'm happy to be here
12
00:00:45.920 --> 00:00:46.200
with you.
13
00:00:46.759 --> 00:00:49.240
Well, I've been intrigued ever since we had an initial
14
00:00:49.280 --> 00:00:53.560
conversation with your background, both as a professor in various
15
00:00:53.560 --> 00:00:57.320
business schools and developing various programs and now as an
16
00:00:57.399 --> 00:01:00.719
executive coach and with the Raw Institute. So kind of
17
00:01:00.759 --> 00:01:04.040
an idea of conscious entrepreneurship in the sense that we
18
00:01:04.159 --> 00:01:08.359
can be successful entrepreneurs without that having to lead to
19
00:01:08.480 --> 00:01:11.480
divorce or having our children end up in therapy and
20
00:01:11.519 --> 00:01:13.519
so on. But we can actually do it and have
21
00:01:13.560 --> 00:01:16.280
a balanced life. So that's the idea here. Obviously it's
22
00:01:16.359 --> 00:01:19.799
not easy. It's a lot of hard work involved in entrepreneurship,
23
00:01:20.159 --> 00:01:21.879
but we can do it in such a way and
24
00:01:21.879 --> 00:01:24.519
build our companies in such a way that we can
25
00:01:24.560 --> 00:01:28.200
also have a good life balance and you know, so
26
00:01:28.239 --> 00:01:30.560
that we're actually we have a real purpose behind doing
27
00:01:30.599 --> 00:01:32.159
all this. And I know it's been a big part
28
00:01:32.200 --> 00:01:34.439
of your work to help the people you coach in
29
00:01:34.480 --> 00:01:39.000
that way. So you know, you talk about that quantum
30
00:01:39.120 --> 00:01:41.640
leap and business, and I think this could have to
31
00:01:41.680 --> 00:01:44.680
do with business performance as well as well being comes
32
00:01:44.680 --> 00:01:49.000
from simply thinking differently about what we do and having
33
00:01:49.400 --> 00:01:52.439
maybe an optimal mindset. And today on the first day
34
00:01:52.439 --> 00:01:56.239
of the summer, we're talking about entrepreneurial mastery. The mindset,
35
00:01:56.439 --> 00:01:59.719
the basic mindset for entrepreneurial mastery. So what do you
36
00:01:59.799 --> 00:02:03.400
mean by mindset as you apply it to entrepreneurship.
37
00:02:03.879 --> 00:02:08.240
But mindset, I mean what is the emotional domain that
38
00:02:08.280 --> 00:02:12.439
you occupy and what are the questions that you ask?
39
00:02:12.599 --> 00:02:16.120
Because the questions that you ask are framed by the
40
00:02:16.199 --> 00:02:19.120
way in which you see the world. So one of
41
00:02:19.120 --> 00:02:21.599
the things I do is I encourage all of my
42
00:02:22.439 --> 00:02:27.479
coaching clients to think differently, to think in terms. Most
43
00:02:27.520 --> 00:02:30.439
of many of them have the heart that you know,
44
00:02:30.479 --> 00:02:33.840
there's a matter of success and you have to climb
45
00:02:33.919 --> 00:02:36.319
it rung by run, and it takes time, and it
46
00:02:36.360 --> 00:02:39.080
takes seperate and I want them to think in terms.
47
00:02:39.080 --> 00:02:41.639
So maybe I can leave frog several of those runs
48
00:02:41.680 --> 00:02:44.759
and do it again and again, and that way you
49
00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:48.280
actually achieve a quantum leap in your business.
50
00:02:48.520 --> 00:02:51.240
Well, I suppose it's everything. It's about what we're doing
51
00:02:51.400 --> 00:02:54.400
or as an entrepreneur or role in the business, which
52
00:02:54.479 --> 00:02:56.919
initially when we're in a startup pace, it can be
53
00:02:57.000 --> 00:02:59.439
we're wearing most of the hats and and hopefully we're
54
00:02:59.560 --> 00:03:03.479
subtily replacing ourselves. But nonetheless, for probably for some time,
55
00:03:03.520 --> 00:03:06.680
we're the primary driver in the business and there's an
56
00:03:06.719 --> 00:03:10.000
inevitable stress that comes with that because business success is
57
00:03:10.039 --> 00:03:14.800
not easy. So it seems like working with stress effectively
58
00:03:15.280 --> 00:03:17.240
is I mean, the idea that there will not be
59
00:03:17.400 --> 00:03:20.199
stress is kind of I think would be naive. There's
60
00:03:20.240 --> 00:03:22.599
going to be stress. So how do we work with
61
00:03:22.639 --> 00:03:26.240
stress effectively and maybe even use it to grow as
62
00:03:26.280 --> 00:03:27.039
an entrepreneur?
63
00:03:27.560 --> 00:03:31.000
Okay, first of all, we'll be talking about stress. Let's
64
00:03:31.039 --> 00:03:34.479
make a distinction. Many people say, oh, I like stress
65
00:03:34.560 --> 00:03:38.439
because stress helps me meet deadlines. It actually enables me
66
00:03:38.560 --> 00:03:41.719
to get work done. That's fine, if you're comfortable with it,
67
00:03:41.759 --> 00:03:44.599
then it's not really stress at all. I'm talking about
68
00:03:44.599 --> 00:03:47.520
the kind of stress that debilitates you, that leaves you
69
00:03:47.599 --> 00:03:52.680
feeling overwhelmed and despondent, perhaps even depressed. And I'm saying
70
00:03:52.719 --> 00:03:55.719
that you can not only greatly reduce it, but you
71
00:03:55.800 --> 00:03:58.800
can actually eliminate it from your life.
72
00:03:59.039 --> 00:04:01.879
So how does one go eliminating this? I guess so
73
00:04:01.960 --> 00:04:05.199
you're making in distinction between some of the pressure, if
74
00:04:05.199 --> 00:04:08.199
you will, of business, and some people may thrive with
75
00:04:08.319 --> 00:04:11.199
a certain level of pressure and deadlines and call for
76
00:04:11.360 --> 00:04:14.159
high performance and so forth. But then you're saying there's
77
00:04:14.159 --> 00:04:18.199
an unnecessary level of stress that's actually debilitating. So how
78
00:04:18.240 --> 00:04:21.360
does one go about distinguishing between you two? And then
79
00:04:21.519 --> 00:04:24.160
how does one go about beginning to eliminate that more
80
00:04:24.199 --> 00:04:26.240
debilitating stress from one's life.
81
00:04:26.519 --> 00:04:30.319
The way to go about eliminating the more debilicating part
82
00:04:30.560 --> 00:04:36.560
of stress fleet is to understand what really causes you stress.
83
00:04:36.920 --> 00:04:40.480
I've asked thousands of people on six contents this question
84
00:04:40.639 --> 00:04:43.120
and they've come up with a bunch of reasons why
85
00:04:43.160 --> 00:04:46.480
they feel stressed, and let me boil them down into categories.
86
00:04:46.560 --> 00:04:51.040
It's financial, I don't have enough. There's relationship issues, typically
87
00:04:51.120 --> 00:04:57.639
with partner or spouse, or what could be with children, relatives, shareholders, employees,
88
00:04:57.800 --> 00:05:03.000
bosses across the board, the health issues, the career progression issues,
89
00:05:03.600 --> 00:05:05.519
and or a bunch of things like that. And you
90
00:05:05.560 --> 00:05:09.199
think that's why I'm feeling stressed. But in reality, fleet
91
00:05:09.240 --> 00:05:12.360
that's wrong. If you think about it, there's only one
92
00:05:12.439 --> 00:05:15.240
reason you feel stress in your life, and the only
93
00:05:15.319 --> 00:05:17.680
reason you feel stress in your life is because you've
94
00:05:17.720 --> 00:05:20.399
got a rigid idea that the universe should unfold in
95
00:05:20.439 --> 00:05:23.759
a particular manner, and the universe is paying no attention
96
00:05:23.879 --> 00:05:26.279
to you and going its own very way. So you
97
00:05:26.360 --> 00:05:31.399
feel your business should be growing smoothly, even exponentially, and
98
00:05:31.439 --> 00:05:34.720
your customers are leaving you, and you resist it and
99
00:05:34.800 --> 00:05:39.199
you resent it, and in that resistance and resentment, you
100
00:05:39.319 --> 00:05:42.000
create the stress in your life. And that's the only
101
00:05:42.120 --> 00:05:44.160
reason you feel stress in your life.
102
00:05:44.399 --> 00:05:49.360
Go you're saying this unnecessary and more debil tank STEPTS
103
00:05:49.519 --> 00:05:53.560
is basically caused by unrealistic expectations.
104
00:05:53.120 --> 00:05:57.399
It's caused by I would say unrealistic expectations. I'd say
105
00:05:58.199 --> 00:06:02.319
rigid expectation. This is how should be, and in many
106
00:06:02.360 --> 00:06:05.240
cases they are in fact unrealistic.
107
00:06:06.480 --> 00:06:09.399
So, you know, growing a business is just full of
108
00:06:09.480 --> 00:06:12.480
constant challenges. You know, even if you have a really
109
00:06:12.519 --> 00:06:16.120
ideal team, there's still always going to be challenges. It's
110
00:06:16.120 --> 00:06:20.000
going to be challenges with breakdowns in technology, There's going
111
00:06:20.079 --> 00:06:23.279
to be challenges from the competition. There's going to be
112
00:06:23.439 --> 00:06:27.680
challenges when despite your best efforts at forecasting, the marketplace
113
00:06:27.800 --> 00:06:30.079
is just not doing what you hoped it would do.
114
00:06:30.720 --> 00:06:35.319
And so it's a very fluid environment. I think part
115
00:06:35.319 --> 00:06:39.759
of organizing a business well and systematizing a business is
116
00:06:39.839 --> 00:06:42.319
the effort to make it as predictable as possible. But
117
00:06:42.399 --> 00:06:46.040
it's never going to be completely predictable. And so I
118
00:06:46.079 --> 00:06:48.360
guess from what I'm hearing you saying, if we would
119
00:06:48.399 --> 00:06:52.560
have the mindset that as I wake up every day
120
00:06:52.800 --> 00:06:57.600
and you know, start interacting with my business as an entrepreneur,
121
00:06:58.120 --> 00:07:01.160
simply to expect challenges. But there's probably going to be
122
00:07:01.199 --> 00:07:04.040
a lot of challenges today. So I'm going to prepare
123
00:07:04.079 --> 00:07:08.600
myself and take those as opportunities to excel to thrive
124
00:07:09.120 --> 00:07:11.920
as opposed to well, I hope it all goes well
125
00:07:11.959 --> 00:07:14.720
today and nothing goes wrong and everything goes according to
126
00:07:14.759 --> 00:07:18.720
my plan today. So that mindset I think you're suggesting,
127
00:07:18.759 --> 00:07:21.519
which set us up for stress because in all likelihood
128
00:07:21.600 --> 00:07:23.040
is not going to go according to plan.
129
00:07:23.560 --> 00:07:25.519
You're not like here, It's not going to go according
130
00:07:25.519 --> 00:07:29.959
to plan. And the key to maintaining your sign freud
131
00:07:30.639 --> 00:07:34.959
is to accept in advance that things I'm not going
132
00:07:35.000 --> 00:07:39.040
to go according to your plan. The universe is unpredictable,
133
00:07:39.560 --> 00:07:42.959
and stress comes because we persist in trying to make
134
00:07:43.040 --> 00:07:47.480
this unpredictable thing predictable, and not just predictable, but predictable
135
00:07:47.639 --> 00:07:51.639
in the direction we want to go. And most entrepreneurs
136
00:07:51.720 --> 00:07:55.759
are very poor at coping with uncertainty. So one of
137
00:07:55.839 --> 00:07:58.000
the things that I do with my client was is
138
00:07:58.079 --> 00:08:03.360
get them to recognize except that it is unpredictable, but
139
00:08:03.519 --> 00:08:09.439
more important, welcome the unpredictability as an opportunity as opposed
140
00:08:09.439 --> 00:08:13.079
to something to get depressed and anxious about. That is
141
00:08:13.120 --> 00:08:14.160
a learnable skill.
142
00:08:15.160 --> 00:08:17.480
So in a moment, I want to ask you about
143
00:08:17.759 --> 00:08:20.600
dealing with major setbacks, But even before we go there,
144
00:08:20.639 --> 00:08:23.160
still it's just the day to day, you know, despite
145
00:08:23.199 --> 00:08:25.480
our efforts to build a good team, and of course
146
00:08:25.519 --> 00:08:27.480
it's up to us to coach our team and train
147
00:08:27.519 --> 00:08:29.920
our team and then develop layers of management that can
148
00:08:29.959 --> 00:08:33.399
do the same. But it often seems to entrepreneurs I
149
00:08:33.440 --> 00:08:35.879
think that nobody quite cares as much as they do,
150
00:08:36.159 --> 00:08:39.639
that people don't seem to kind of sometimes it just
151
00:08:39.679 --> 00:08:42.440
doesn't seem like people are getting it, or people are
152
00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:45.519
not following through on the things they're supposed to follow
153
00:08:45.519 --> 00:08:48.559
through on. And you know, as an entrepreneur, I think
154
00:08:48.799 --> 00:08:50.919
we all do our best to sort of have self
155
00:08:50.919 --> 00:08:55.159
discipline and really show up and deliver ourselves on our
156
00:08:55.200 --> 00:08:57.960
commitments and for our team. And so when we find
157
00:08:58.000 --> 00:09:00.360
others that are not delivering with the same level of
158
00:09:00.399 --> 00:09:03.840
commitment or passion, that can be frustrating and create more
159
00:09:03.879 --> 00:09:06.360
stress for an entrepreneur, I think completely.
160
00:09:06.960 --> 00:09:09.120
But the way to cope for that is very simple.
161
00:09:09.720 --> 00:09:13.600
When let's say you have a trusted right hand employee
162
00:09:13.639 --> 00:09:15.919
and you feel that he's falling down at the park.
163
00:09:16.440 --> 00:09:18.960
Now you can look upon that as it's his fault,
164
00:09:19.360 --> 00:09:21.840
he's falling down on what he's supposed to do, or
165
00:09:21.840 --> 00:09:24.600
he can look upon it as you know, maybe I
166
00:09:24.720 --> 00:09:28.200
need to improve my leadership skills so that he behaves
167
00:09:28.240 --> 00:09:31.440
more in the way that I think is appropriate. And
168
00:09:31.519 --> 00:09:34.720
here's an opportunity for me to become a better leader,
169
00:09:34.919 --> 00:09:38.440
a better coach, a better mentor So how do you
170
00:09:38.480 --> 00:09:43.159
look at things? Basically determines A how you fee and.
171
00:09:43.159 --> 00:09:45.840
B what you do, So it sounds like you would
172
00:09:45.840 --> 00:09:49.080
align pretty well. The name of my book is ritical responsibility,
173
00:09:49.120 --> 00:09:51.879
which is accepting one r percent ownership reach and every
174
00:09:51.919 --> 00:09:54.039
circumstance we pace day in and day out. So it
175
00:09:54.080 --> 00:09:56.240
sounds like you ascribe to that philosophy.
176
00:09:57.159 --> 00:09:59.799
Yes, wouldn't be done as a standard better.
177
00:10:00.279 --> 00:10:03.600
So if our team's not performing the way we would
178
00:10:03.679 --> 00:10:06.799
like it to perform, that obviously points to the fact
179
00:10:06.840 --> 00:10:09.039
that we haven't quite done what we need to do
180
00:10:09.559 --> 00:10:11.799
to have the right people and have them coached and
181
00:10:11.840 --> 00:10:13.759
trained in the right way and led in the right
182
00:10:13.799 --> 00:10:16.519
way so they will be doing what we need them
183
00:10:16.559 --> 00:10:18.519
to do most of the time. So again it comes
184
00:10:18.559 --> 00:10:22.320
back to us. Yes, So again it always comes back
185
00:10:22.320 --> 00:10:24.240
to us. So how do we take that level of
186
00:10:24.279 --> 00:10:29.559
ownership without converting that into more stress and putting sort
187
00:10:29.600 --> 00:10:34.360
of unbearable burdens on ourselves. What if transformation isn't just
188
00:10:34.399 --> 00:10:38.720
about thinking differently, but feeling differently. Science shows us that
189
00:10:38.759 --> 00:10:41.759
true change happens when we align not just our minds,
190
00:10:42.080 --> 00:10:45.399
but also the neural networks in our hearts and guts.
191
00:10:46.000 --> 00:10:49.799
This heart mind connection is the key to deeper healing, resilience,
192
00:10:49.840 --> 00:10:53.480
and expanded awareness. That's why I created the Heart Mind
193
00:10:53.639 --> 00:10:57.120
all access, membership, and community, a space designed to help
194
00:10:57.159 --> 00:11:00.960
you rewire your nervous system, cultivate heart and intelligence, and
195
00:11:01.080 --> 00:11:04.960
live with greater clarity and purpose. With over one thousand
196
00:11:05.000 --> 00:11:10.000
hours of transformational teachings specifically curated to meet your needs.
197
00:11:10.440 --> 00:11:15.720
You'll learn from world renowned meditation teachers, neuroscientists, and experts
198
00:11:15.720 --> 00:11:20.159
in neuroplasticity, all sharing powerful tools to help you shift
199
00:11:20.159 --> 00:11:25.000
your mindset and heartset, regulate your emotions, and unlock your
200
00:11:25.039 --> 00:11:29.759
full potential. You'll also gain unlimited access to every summit
201
00:11:29.799 --> 00:11:33.120
and course we've ever produced, a Treasure Trouble Wisdom worth
202
00:11:33.159 --> 00:11:36.879
over ten thousand dollars in growing, plus live gatherings, and
203
00:11:36.960 --> 00:11:40.879
an inspiring global community to support your journey. If you're
204
00:11:40.879 --> 00:11:43.600
ready to step into a more heart centered, connected and
205
00:11:43.679 --> 00:11:46.679
conscious life, I invite you to join us. Clip the
206
00:11:46.759 --> 00:11:49.360
link to learn more. And start your journey today.
207
00:11:50.360 --> 00:11:55.919
When you accept it, actually fleet stress goes down. A
208
00:11:56.000 --> 00:11:58.559
large part of this stress is you feel, oh, I
209
00:11:58.600 --> 00:12:01.320
should have done this, and if I had done it
210
00:12:01.519 --> 00:12:04.399
then things would have been different. But if you accept
211
00:12:04.600 --> 00:12:08.679
in advance the unpredictability of the world, then when something
212
00:12:08.799 --> 00:12:11.720
happens and say, okay, you know that's what happened, what
213
00:12:11.879 --> 00:12:16.960
do I do now? So stress actually goes down when
214
00:12:17.000 --> 00:12:20.559
you accept that you are not in control. You have
215
00:12:20.759 --> 00:12:24.720
never been in control, and you never will be in control.
216
00:12:25.159 --> 00:12:27.399
That's the nature of the universe. And if you can
217
00:12:27.440 --> 00:12:31.200
truly not just accept it, but embrace it, it gives
218
00:12:31.240 --> 00:12:35.639
you a feeling of lightness, A great responsibility drops from
219
00:12:35.679 --> 00:12:38.960
your shoulders, and then whatever happens, you look at it
220
00:12:39.039 --> 00:12:42.480
and say, ah, this happened, how wonderful. What do I
221
00:12:42.519 --> 00:12:43.720
do now? Wow?
222
00:12:43.840 --> 00:12:46.559
That's pretty deep there, Shui Kamara. You know back to
223
00:12:46.600 --> 00:12:49.240
while it's like, I think you know what entrepreneurs want
224
00:12:49.279 --> 00:12:52.120
is they want to be in control. Right asking it out,
225
00:12:52.240 --> 00:12:54.559
we'd to accept the fact that we're not in control.
226
00:12:54.600 --> 00:12:56.759
That's a tough pill to swallow.
227
00:12:57.000 --> 00:12:59.159
That's the first bill you have to swallow, though, if
228
00:12:59.159 --> 00:13:00.559
you're going to live a bill.
229
00:13:00.440 --> 00:13:02.799
Bite quite instant. Well, I hear you. You said the
230
00:13:02.840 --> 00:13:05.799
word acceptance quite a number of times there, so you
231
00:13:05.840 --> 00:13:08.399
know it was somewhat brings to mind to me the
232
00:13:08.480 --> 00:13:11.720
serenity prayer. People may be familiar with it from twelve
233
00:13:11.759 --> 00:13:14.399
seb groups and so forth, to grab me the serene
234
00:13:14.440 --> 00:13:16.519
to accept the things I can I change, the change
235
00:13:16.559 --> 00:13:18.720
the things I can, and the wisdom the other difference.
236
00:13:18.720 --> 00:13:21.480
So it is some humility about what we can change,
237
00:13:21.519 --> 00:13:24.120
what we can change, but it is also saying we
238
00:13:24.279 --> 00:13:26.679
do need to focus on changing in the things we can,
239
00:13:26.799 --> 00:13:28.480
So taking ownership.
240
00:13:28.000 --> 00:13:32.440
For that and serenity prayer is the wisdom to know
241
00:13:32.519 --> 00:13:36.120
the difference. Yeah, exactly, the wisdom to know the difference.
242
00:13:36.120 --> 00:13:38.399
That's the real that's the real kicker there.
243
00:13:38.559 --> 00:13:43.399
Absolutely, So let's talk about I mean, despite everything we
244
00:13:43.480 --> 00:13:47.519
might do to really be good leaders and manage our
245
00:13:47.559 --> 00:13:51.039
team well and business, there are going to be setbacks. Again,
246
00:13:51.159 --> 00:13:54.080
it's unpredictability. There's going to be setbacks and there might
247
00:13:54.320 --> 00:13:58.480
there may be some major setbacks that are could really
248
00:13:58.639 --> 00:14:00.799
keep us up at night or or even put us
249
00:14:00.960 --> 00:14:03.240
in thoughts of you know, whether our business is going
250
00:14:03.320 --> 00:14:06.679
to survive or not? So how do we best deal
251
00:14:06.720 --> 00:14:09.639
with those kind of setbacks, both in terms of maybe
252
00:14:10.000 --> 00:14:14.559
anticipating them and then if they do happen, manage our
253
00:14:14.600 --> 00:14:17.039
own emotional life and our health and well being so
254
00:14:17.120 --> 00:14:19.600
that we can show up and help guide our team
255
00:14:20.000 --> 00:14:21.360
to meet those challenges.
256
00:14:21.919 --> 00:14:25.159
I would say that is the important part the emotional
257
00:14:25.279 --> 00:14:27.840
makeup that you do. Let me post it to you
258
00:14:28.000 --> 00:14:32.039
Fleet that in the entire history of mankind, if at
259
00:14:32.120 --> 00:14:36.519
any one given point there was more resting on the
260
00:14:36.600 --> 00:14:40.759
shoulders of one mat that would be Dwight David eisen
261
00:14:40.840 --> 00:14:43.919
Howard or June nineteen forty four, the eve of dj
262
00:14:45.360 --> 00:14:48.440
the entire fate of the world really depended upon the
263
00:14:48.480 --> 00:14:51.840
decisions of one math. Thousands of people were ready to
264
00:14:51.919 --> 00:14:56.120
hop on a plane and jump out. Thousands of boats,
265
00:14:56.159 --> 00:14:59.000
you know, big ships as well as small boats were
266
00:14:59.039 --> 00:15:04.399
carrying ten of thousands of soldiers to hostile beaches. In
267
00:15:04.440 --> 00:15:07.879
a real sense, the fate of the world depended on
268
00:15:07.960 --> 00:15:11.759
his decisions, So you would expect him to be very tense.
269
00:15:11.879 --> 00:15:15.360
Right on the contrary, he went to bed and slept
270
00:15:15.360 --> 00:15:18.559
like a baby, and later on, when he was asked
271
00:15:18.559 --> 00:15:20.759
about it, he said, well, I picked the very best
272
00:15:20.799 --> 00:15:25.080
meteorologists I had and looked at their forecasts. I selected
273
00:15:25.120 --> 00:15:28.039
the best generals I had and put them in charge
274
00:15:28.080 --> 00:15:32.360
of the various parts of the invasion. And having done that,
275
00:15:32.399 --> 00:15:35.039
there was nothing I could do, so I went to bed.
276
00:15:35.519 --> 00:15:39.519
And what most people don't know is that Eisenhower had
277
00:15:39.679 --> 00:15:45.519
also prepared a letter of apology in case the invasion failed.
278
00:15:46.000 --> 00:15:48.240
He never used that letter, but he had written up
279
00:15:48.240 --> 00:15:51.399
in advance and accepted it. He accepted the fact that
280
00:15:51.440 --> 00:15:54.039
he was not in control. And I can suggest to
281
00:15:54.080 --> 00:15:57.320
you that I do not know any entrepreneur in any
282
00:15:57.399 --> 00:16:01.279
stage who had that way to respect onsibility on his
283
00:16:01.559 --> 00:16:02.639
or her shoulders.
284
00:16:03.120 --> 00:16:05.919
That's really very interesting. I had a friend that talked
285
00:16:05.919 --> 00:16:10.080
about giving talks and presentation and how he overcame his
286
00:16:10.240 --> 00:16:14.240
fear of that, and he would sort of visualize that
287
00:16:14.360 --> 00:16:17.200
he had completely blown it and it was a disaster,
288
00:16:17.519 --> 00:16:19.600
and he would just feel that and let it go
289
00:16:19.679 --> 00:16:22.840
and say, Okay, that could happen. Don't want it to happen,
290
00:16:22.879 --> 00:16:24.799
but it could happen. I can deal with it. Okay,
291
00:16:24.919 --> 00:16:26.879
now I'm going to give the talk. So it was
292
00:16:26.960 --> 00:16:28.919
kind of kind of that similar idea.
293
00:16:28.960 --> 00:16:32.159
There can I share my speaking experience with you?
294
00:16:32.279 --> 00:16:33.279
Plea, yeah, please too?
295
00:16:33.840 --> 00:16:37.279
Okay. So What happened is there was one time when
296
00:16:37.279 --> 00:16:39.720
I was giving the speech, and this is must have
297
00:16:39.840 --> 00:16:43.159
been over an audience of about four or five hundred,
298
00:16:43.279 --> 00:16:47.200
a very senior executives at a very large financial services institution,
299
00:16:47.799 --> 00:16:52.200
and I said something and somebody couldn't understand, and they said,
300
00:16:52.320 --> 00:16:55.360
could you please repeat that? So he repeated it and
301
00:16:55.399 --> 00:16:58.639
they still couldn't understand, and then somebody from the back
302
00:16:58.679 --> 00:17:03.799
said I think he means this, and everybody burst out laughing,
303
00:17:04.240 --> 00:17:06.880
and I was so embarrassed I could have sunk into
304
00:17:06.960 --> 00:17:09.839
the floor and pulled it after me. Afterwards, I was
305
00:17:09.839 --> 00:17:12.000
speaking of someone and I said, oh, they'll laugh at me.
306
00:17:12.039 --> 00:17:14.440
It felt so terrible. I said, so what, Look, you've
307
00:17:14.440 --> 00:17:17.920
got to understand that these are all people under high pressure.
308
00:17:18.359 --> 00:17:21.319
There is a reorganization going away. Many of them may
309
00:17:21.359 --> 00:17:24.119
not have a job a month from now, and into
310
00:17:24.200 --> 00:17:29.240
their life. You bought a few seconds of complete laughter
311
00:17:29.759 --> 00:17:33.119
and joy, the happy you could do that, and that
312
00:17:33.240 --> 00:17:35.839
completely flipped a switch in my thinking. Instead of thinking
313
00:17:35.880 --> 00:17:38.160
about what are they going to think about me? I
314
00:17:38.240 --> 00:17:40.039
thought about what is it that I can do to
315
00:17:40.119 --> 00:17:43.400
make their life better? And if I mispronounce the world,
316
00:17:43.519 --> 00:17:46.359
I'm you know from India. I speak pretty good English,
317
00:17:46.400 --> 00:17:50.359
but it's not my native language, and particularly in pronunciation,
318
00:17:50.640 --> 00:17:53.680
you know, the Eglish spelling is not always the way
319
00:17:54.079 --> 00:17:58.279
that it sounds. So if I ingrediously mispronounce a word
320
00:17:58.319 --> 00:18:01.079
and they all laugh, I bought some life into their life,
321
00:18:01.119 --> 00:18:04.920
and that's wonderful, and my fear of public speaking completely
322
00:18:04.960 --> 00:18:05.559
deserted me.
323
00:18:06.079 --> 00:18:09.079
Wow, that's an amazing shift. So a lot of what
324
00:18:09.559 --> 00:18:12.759
you've been discussing already could be talked about under the
325
00:18:12.880 --> 00:18:16.440
rubric of emotional intelligence. Daniel Goldman's written a lot on that,
326
00:18:17.079 --> 00:18:21.240
and one aspect of the social intelligence part of emotional
327
00:18:21.279 --> 00:18:24.720
intelligence is having a service orientation. So I think that's
328
00:18:24.720 --> 00:18:26.559
why you're pointing to that, And I think it's very
329
00:18:26.559 --> 00:18:30.599
easy as entrepreneurs because we hold such responsibility and where
330
00:18:30.880 --> 00:18:33.759
we've been visioned some kind of company and we're building it,
331
00:18:34.319 --> 00:18:37.160
that there's a tendency to make it all about us,
332
00:18:37.720 --> 00:18:39.960
and even though we may have originally had a bigger
333
00:18:40.039 --> 00:18:42.960
vision than that. So I think you're referencing again that
334
00:18:43.079 --> 00:18:46.880
service orientation to focus on others, focus on what others
335
00:18:46.920 --> 00:18:49.799
are needing, and trust that that's going to lead in
336
00:18:49.839 --> 00:18:50.480
a good direction.
337
00:18:51.200 --> 00:18:54.200
Actually, i'd go even further than that fleet. And this
338
00:18:54.359 --> 00:18:58.559
is important. So let's talk about service orientation. You know,
339
00:18:58.720 --> 00:19:01.759
I've never met an entrepreneur doesn't want to deliver it
340
00:19:02.079 --> 00:19:05.640
excellence service, you know, knock your socks OFFT service. So
341
00:19:05.720 --> 00:19:08.480
I asked them, why do you want to deliver excellence service,
342
00:19:08.599 --> 00:19:10.680
knock your socks OFFT service? And they look at me
343
00:19:10.720 --> 00:19:12.839
as I was crazy, and I said, hu, or me
344
00:19:13.000 --> 00:19:16.279
tell me? I said, go, okay, if I deliver great service,
345
00:19:16.319 --> 00:19:19.519
my customers will be happy. And if they're happy, they'll
346
00:19:19.519 --> 00:19:21.960
buy from me more often, and maybe they'll buy more
347
00:19:22.079 --> 00:19:25.359
and they'll refer their friends and others to me, and
348
00:19:25.480 --> 00:19:29.319
my business will prosper. I'll say, yes, that's wonderful, But
349
00:19:29.440 --> 00:19:33.039
you've just taken something beautiful and made it a transaction.
350
00:19:33.319 --> 00:19:35.880
Don't make life a transaction. So I said, what do
351
00:19:35.920 --> 00:19:38.599
you mean, why would I deliver good customer service if
352
00:19:38.599 --> 00:19:41.119
there's nothing in it for me? What I tell them is,
353
00:19:41.160 --> 00:19:45.680
you deliver good customer service, even great customer service, because
354
00:19:45.680 --> 00:19:49.680
that is the outward manifestation of the kind of person
355
00:19:49.799 --> 00:19:52.799
you are. Don't give a heart to your business increasing
356
00:19:52.920 --> 00:19:56.799
because that will happen organically. Don't give heed to it.
357
00:19:57.400 --> 00:19:59.200
You know, I think what you're pointing to there has
358
00:19:59.240 --> 00:20:03.240
been written about often by some of the great entrepreneurs
359
00:20:03.279 --> 00:20:07.319
and some of the great salespeople and wealth builders, and
360
00:20:07.359 --> 00:20:11.720
they often talk about letting all oneself, getting focused on others,
361
00:20:11.720 --> 00:20:16.400
focused on service, focused on contribution. Yes, and that success
362
00:20:16.400 --> 00:20:19.559
will follow. And it takes a leap of faith to
363
00:20:19.640 --> 00:20:21.599
trust that, I think for all of us to really
364
00:20:21.640 --> 00:20:24.440
I once we see it working, that maybe our faith
365
00:20:24.480 --> 00:20:27.640
in it grows. But initially it seems like success is
366
00:20:27.680 --> 00:20:30.359
about driving and pushing and driving and pushing.
367
00:20:30.799 --> 00:20:34.160
And many entrepreneurs do that, and that is the reason
368
00:20:34.279 --> 00:20:39.759
why they have ulcers and divorces and pretty miserable experience
369
00:20:39.799 --> 00:20:44.720
of life. When they follow what I advocate, you'll find
370
00:20:44.960 --> 00:20:49.079
the work is still there, but the feeling of stress,
371
00:20:49.160 --> 00:20:53.440
of strain, of struggle that goes to me your work,
372
00:20:53.599 --> 00:20:57.839
But the work itself energizes you. Here's the mistake all
373
00:20:57.880 --> 00:21:01.039
of us make, or many of us make. We think
374
00:21:01.119 --> 00:21:05.079
that the objective of setting a goal and working very
375
00:21:05.119 --> 00:21:08.640
hard to achieve it is achieving the goal. That's wrong.
376
00:21:09.039 --> 00:21:11.680
The objective of setting a goal and trying your level
377
00:21:11.759 --> 00:21:15.000
best to achieve the goal is the learning and growth
378
00:21:15.039 --> 00:21:18.039
that happened in you and to you as you try
379
00:21:18.079 --> 00:21:21.240
your level best to achieve the goal. If you actually
380
00:21:21.279 --> 00:21:25.160
achieve the goal, that's the bonus, be immensely grateful. If
381
00:21:25.200 --> 00:21:28.359
you don't achieve the goal, the learning growth have already happened,
382
00:21:28.359 --> 00:21:30.680
so you're ahead of the game. But the funny thing
383
00:21:30.799 --> 00:21:34.599
is when you adopt that orientation, the probability that you'll
384
00:21:34.640 --> 00:21:38.400
actually get to the goal you set for yourself increases.
385
00:21:38.640 --> 00:21:41.599
And it just doesn't increase, it increases dramatically.
386
00:21:42.079 --> 00:21:45.440
So one of the things that can keep us on track,
387
00:21:45.680 --> 00:21:48.799
align with what you're talking about, is having a strong
388
00:21:48.880 --> 00:21:51.799
sense of meaning and purpose and what we're doing, having
389
00:21:51.880 --> 00:21:55.359
a vision and having our work and our company, what
390
00:21:55.440 --> 00:21:57.720
we're trying to build hold a lot of meaning and
391
00:21:57.759 --> 00:21:59.960
purpose for us. And you know, some of us made
392
00:22:00.119 --> 00:22:03.519
to start businesses to create a livelihood for ourselves and
393
00:22:03.559 --> 00:22:07.039
our families, great financial security, even financial freedom, or you know,
394
00:22:07.160 --> 00:22:08.960
just start business to make money. We get a good
395
00:22:09.000 --> 00:22:11.559
business idea, and that's fine. I think it can be
396
00:22:11.640 --> 00:22:13.920
powerful if we have a bit of a bigger vision
397
00:22:14.000 --> 00:22:17.319
that we see how our products and our services can
398
00:22:17.359 --> 00:22:20.000
add value to the world, and we have some kind
399
00:22:20.000 --> 00:22:23.079
of vision like that. But I wonder if you could
400
00:22:23.160 --> 00:22:27.440
talk about the importance of maintaining a strong sense of
401
00:22:27.519 --> 00:22:30.880
vision mission and it's going to give us that sense
402
00:22:30.880 --> 00:22:34.319
of meaning and purpose because the poles that work becomes
403
00:22:34.319 --> 00:22:34.960
a drudgery.
404
00:22:35.039 --> 00:22:40.839
Right, It's completely essential. And many times persons come up
405
00:22:40.880 --> 00:22:43.279
to me and say, Professor Row, you know, how do
406
00:22:43.319 --> 00:22:45.920
I find more meaning and purpose in what I do?
407
00:22:46.599 --> 00:22:51.000
And the point is that's asking the wrong question. You know,
408
00:22:51.079 --> 00:22:54.400
meaning in purpose are not like seashells. You're walking along
409
00:22:54.440 --> 00:22:56.400
the beach and you see the seashell and you pick
410
00:22:56.440 --> 00:22:59.519
it up. Ah, I found meaning. I've found purpose. You
411
00:22:59.599 --> 00:23:05.000
don't find meaning and purpose. You create meaning and purpose.
412
00:23:05.720 --> 00:23:09.160
And that's one of the things that I really stress.
413
00:23:09.240 --> 00:23:12.839
You don't find meaning in purpose. You create meaning in purpose,
414
00:23:12.880 --> 00:23:17.680
and you create meaning in purpose by putting yourself completely
415
00:23:17.960 --> 00:23:23.400
into whatever action you are taking. Let me elaborate. So
416
00:23:24.240 --> 00:23:26.960
what I always say is if you live in a
417
00:23:27.039 --> 00:23:29.759
me centered universe, which is the vast majority of us,
418
00:23:29.880 --> 00:23:32.240
do you know we're always looking at how does this
419
00:23:32.319 --> 00:23:35.400
impact mean? What can I get out of it? Unless
420
00:23:35.440 --> 00:23:37.880
you find a cause which is bigger than you are,
421
00:23:38.240 --> 00:23:42.000
a cause which brings a greater good to a greater community,
422
00:23:42.079 --> 00:23:46.480
You're going to limit essentially mediocre existence. So whatever you doing,
423
00:23:47.079 --> 00:23:51.720
put love into it, put joy into it, and bless
424
00:23:51.839 --> 00:23:55.559
the person who is going to be receiving the benefits
425
00:23:55.559 --> 00:23:58.880
of what you do. Even in simple matters. Pay your
426
00:23:58.960 --> 00:24:02.880
utility builds with check. That's the check, and tress the utility,
427
00:24:03.359 --> 00:24:06.440
and you know, wish it to continue to prosper and
428
00:24:06.519 --> 00:24:11.599
bring electricity or whatever to a brigger audience. When you
429
00:24:11.920 --> 00:24:14.759
have that mindset and that's what you're putting out to
430
00:24:14.839 --> 00:24:19.279
the universe, it's like putting the bread on the waters.
431
00:24:19.599 --> 00:24:23.279
The loaves will come back. You just do your part
432
00:24:23.319 --> 00:24:25.400
of it. And the funny thing is when you do
433
00:24:25.480 --> 00:24:27.480
your part of it, you find that a feeling of
434
00:24:27.680 --> 00:24:30.319
likeness comes into you. But you have to do it
435
00:24:30.400 --> 00:24:33.519
consciously because too often when you're in business, we get
436
00:24:33.559 --> 00:24:36.400
caught in the nitty gritty of what we're doing and
437
00:24:36.440 --> 00:24:40.079
we completely lose sense of the bigger purpose. You have
438
00:24:40.160 --> 00:24:44.079
to constantly remind yourself about it, and if you're in
439
00:24:44.119 --> 00:24:49.640
a leadership position, you have to constantly remind others about it.
440
00:24:50.039 --> 00:24:53.680
So, yeah, like what you said, doctor rabout that we
441
00:24:53.799 --> 00:24:56.440
create meaning and purpose and I think sometimes we may
442
00:24:56.480 --> 00:24:58.640
feel like it's just this kind of mysterious thing that
443
00:24:58.759 --> 00:25:01.480
comes and goes and I feel I don't feel it. Well,
444
00:25:01.720 --> 00:25:04.000
what you're saying is we actually create it. I do
445
00:25:04.039 --> 00:25:06.640
think it helps to have a maybe a larger vision
446
00:25:06.680 --> 00:25:09.440
about what we're doing. But regardless of what the larger
447
00:25:09.680 --> 00:25:12.960
or not so large vision, if we're doing our work
448
00:25:13.000 --> 00:25:16.079
with a good spirit, and you know, we're doing our
449
00:25:16.079 --> 00:25:19.240
best and we're giving our best, but there's meaning created
450
00:25:19.319 --> 00:25:22.599
in that if I'm hearing you correctly, just by lely
451
00:25:23.079 --> 00:25:25.640
entering the work whatever it is, with a good spirit
452
00:25:25.680 --> 00:25:28.119
and a good motivation and giving it our best, that's
453
00:25:28.279 --> 00:25:30.400
going to create a sense of meaning and purpose.
454
00:25:30.920 --> 00:25:32.240
Absolutely, Yes, it does.
455
00:25:32.559 --> 00:25:37.319
Good time, Yeah, wonderful. So you know, it's interesting. I
456
00:25:37.359 --> 00:25:40.519
think a lot of people have talked about the relationship
457
00:25:40.519 --> 00:25:45.920
between fear and entrepreneurship, you know, and maybe I think
458
00:25:45.920 --> 00:25:49.240
there have been many origin stories so basically selfl entrepreneurs
459
00:25:49.680 --> 00:25:52.519
who had life experiences and they just said, you know,
460
00:25:52.599 --> 00:25:54.240
I don't want to go through that. I want don't
461
00:25:54.279 --> 00:25:56.119
want my family to go through that. I don't want
462
00:25:56.160 --> 00:25:58.880
to deal with that colm poverty, and there can be
463
00:25:58.880 --> 00:26:02.599
a kind of fear driving you know, to succeed other
464
00:26:02.720 --> 00:26:05.480
the fear of failure or to succeed, the fear of
465
00:26:05.519 --> 00:26:09.839
being empowerished or and so, And with all the uncertainty
466
00:26:09.920 --> 00:26:13.319
that's out there, it does seem like the emotion fear
467
00:26:13.559 --> 00:26:16.359
is always going to be part of the equation. So
468
00:26:16.400 --> 00:26:18.640
how do we work with fear in a creative way
469
00:26:19.119 --> 00:26:21.359
rather than letting fear become debilitating.
470
00:26:21.759 --> 00:26:24.680
The way to work with fear in a constructing way
471
00:26:24.960 --> 00:26:31.559
is to recognize that the universe's uncertain results are unpredictable.
472
00:26:32.119 --> 00:26:34.480
You have fear because you think, oh, if I can
473
00:26:34.519 --> 00:26:38.079
do this and that, then this outcome will be avoided.
474
00:26:38.559 --> 00:26:42.440
It's not true. Something unexpected can always happen, which will
475
00:26:42.519 --> 00:26:45.599
put all of your plans in a cockpat. You've had
476
00:26:45.599 --> 00:26:48.519
it happen in your life many times, it will happen again.
477
00:26:49.079 --> 00:26:52.799
In that sense, the pandemic was a wonderful teaching device
478
00:26:53.440 --> 00:26:58.319
because it literally showed you how unpredictable things are. My
479
00:26:57.920 --> 00:27:00.720
wife and I are tennis vanity, so we've been to
480
00:27:00.799 --> 00:27:02.759
the French Open a number of times. We go to
481
00:27:02.799 --> 00:27:06.240
the US practically every year. Went to the Australian Open
482
00:27:06.279 --> 00:27:09.079
a couple of years ago. We've never been to Wimbledon,
483
00:27:09.240 --> 00:27:12.680
so I booked tickets for Wimbledon in twenty twenty. And
484
00:27:12.920 --> 00:27:15.079
if you know anything about this, you know, getting good
485
00:27:15.079 --> 00:27:18.880
tickets to Wimbledon in the final rounds it's not an expense,
486
00:27:19.079 --> 00:27:21.599
it's a capital investment. And at that time, if you
487
00:27:21.599 --> 00:27:23.720
had said, strick Amori, you're not going to see Bimbledon,
488
00:27:23.799 --> 00:27:26.480
and I've said yeah, perhaps, but in my head would
489
00:27:26.480 --> 00:27:29.160
have been something like maybe somebody close to me fell ill,
490
00:27:29.200 --> 00:27:31.559
so I had to cancel my trip. I would never
491
00:27:31.599 --> 00:27:35.599
have imagined that the tournament itself would be canceled, or
492
00:27:35.640 --> 00:27:38.000
that there would be no planes flying between London and
493
00:27:38.039 --> 00:27:43.480
New York. It's completely unpredictable. If you accept that in
494
00:27:43.759 --> 00:27:49.200
advance and not you know, superficially, would really completely accept
495
00:27:49.200 --> 00:27:52.359
it and embrace it, then you are not afraid because
496
00:27:52.400 --> 00:27:55.359
you simply say, whatever happens, I will deal with it
497
00:27:55.599 --> 00:27:58.799
as and when it happens that I'm not going to
498
00:27:58.880 --> 00:28:02.519
waste any emotion related the eg on it now. But
499
00:28:02.680 --> 00:28:06.759
you have to school yourself with it rigorously by constantly
500
00:28:06.839 --> 00:28:11.759
thinking about that until you're totally comfortable with that idea.
501
00:28:11.920 --> 00:28:15.119
It's a lyricable, skilly game, but you have to devote
502
00:28:15.319 --> 00:28:19.720
attention and you have to persist into your thinking about.
503
00:28:19.400 --> 00:28:22.279
It, Yeah, I think. I'm sure there have been many
504
00:28:22.279 --> 00:28:26.400
books written already, but there's so many stories about how
505
00:28:26.599 --> 00:28:29.680
some businesses in the face of the lockdowns that began
506
00:28:29.799 --> 00:28:33.119
with the COVID nineteen pandemic and the Spring of twenty twenty,
507
00:28:33.640 --> 00:28:38.480
many businesses failed or really struggled, and yet some entrepreneurs
508
00:28:38.759 --> 00:28:42.359
and business leaders were able to pivot and take advantage
509
00:28:42.519 --> 00:28:46.680
of the situation and thrive. And it's a huge business lesson,
510
00:28:46.720 --> 00:28:51.119
I think. So along with the world being complete, uncertain
511
00:28:51.319 --> 00:28:56.160
and unpredictable, you often referenced the quote from Einstein and
512
00:28:56.279 --> 00:28:59.200
his belief that the universe is friendly, that on some
513
00:28:59.400 --> 00:29:02.359
level it's a benevolent on some scale a rate, it's
514
00:29:02.400 --> 00:29:07.359
a friendly, benevolent universe, and that if we take that
515
00:29:07.599 --> 00:29:10.880
on as a faith or believe or part of our mindset,
516
00:29:10.920 --> 00:29:13.079
it could be beneficial. So it tell us what that
517
00:29:13.200 --> 00:29:15.680
means and how entrepreneurs might embrace that.
518
00:29:16.160 --> 00:29:19.720
Einstein said, the most important question you will ever ask
519
00:29:19.799 --> 00:29:23.640
yourself is the universe friendly? Now there are some people
520
00:29:23.640 --> 00:29:26.279
who believe that the universe is unfriendly, and the sole
521
00:29:26.319 --> 00:29:30.240
purpose of the universe is to frustrate you. The few numbers,
522
00:29:30.680 --> 00:29:35.000
the fast overwhelming majority of us believe the universe is
523
00:29:35.079 --> 00:29:39.799
neither friendly nor unfriendly. It's indifferent. It doesn't know you
524
00:29:39.960 --> 00:29:42.279
exist and couldn't care less. So here you are going
525
00:29:42.319 --> 00:29:45.079
around doing your thing, there's the universe going around doing
526
00:29:45.119 --> 00:29:48.240
its thing, and sometimes it seems to be working with you,
527
00:29:48.440 --> 00:29:51.720
sometimes it seems to be working against you. But essentially
528
00:29:51.799 --> 00:29:54.799
it's a random process. But what if that was not true?
529
00:29:54.880 --> 00:29:59.079
What if the universe was friendly? Well, friends don't shaft
530
00:29:59.240 --> 00:30:02.680
friends today, of course not so if the universe was friendly,
531
00:30:02.880 --> 00:30:05.720
why does the universe give you stuff you don't want,
532
00:30:06.160 --> 00:30:08.759
Like you want to go on vacations and enjoy yourself
533
00:30:08.799 --> 00:30:12.680
and the universe gives you pandemics and lockdowns. Well, what
534
00:30:12.759 --> 00:30:15.799
if the universe didn't give you what you wanted, but
535
00:30:15.920 --> 00:30:19.160
it gave you exactly what you needed for your learning
536
00:30:19.200 --> 00:30:22.200
in growth? Say you're a small child and you want
537
00:30:22.240 --> 00:30:25.400
a top of ice cream for the universe through your
538
00:30:25.440 --> 00:30:29.039
parents gave you fruits and vegetables, and you don't want
539
00:30:29.119 --> 00:30:32.200
fruits and vegetables. You want the top of ice cream.
540
00:30:32.400 --> 00:30:35.839
But the universe gives you fruits and vegetables. It isn't
541
00:30:35.960 --> 00:30:38.920
until you have a completely different level of maturity and
542
00:30:39.079 --> 00:30:42.599
understanding that you can say, thank God, I got fruits
543
00:30:42.640 --> 00:30:46.200
and vegetables. What if the universe was like that? What
544
00:30:46.240 --> 00:30:49.440
if it gives you not necessarily what you wanted, but
545
00:30:49.759 --> 00:30:53.319
exactly what you needed for your learning in growth? What
546
00:30:53.359 --> 00:30:56.119
if it doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out
547
00:30:56.160 --> 00:30:59.200
cleep that regardless of whether the universe is friendly or not,
548
00:30:59.400 --> 00:31:03.519
if you build leave the universes friendly, your experience of
549
00:31:03.599 --> 00:31:08.160
life would be immeasurably better. So it's a superior mentee model.
550
00:31:08.240 --> 00:31:11.160
So how do you cultivate the model that the universe
551
00:31:11.240 --> 00:31:15.200
is friendly? And the answer is very simple. Look for
552
00:31:15.319 --> 00:31:19.880
signs that the universe is friendly, and don't just look
553
00:31:19.920 --> 00:31:24.400
for them, celebrate them, rejoice in them, and most important,
554
00:31:24.680 --> 00:31:27.960
write it down. I have all of my coaching clients
555
00:31:28.039 --> 00:31:31.519
keep a journal for this specific purpose. Look for signs
556
00:31:31.559 --> 00:31:34.039
that the unus is friendly, and then you'll find that
557
00:31:34.039 --> 00:31:36.839
they're everywhere. I give you an instance. My wife asked
558
00:31:36.880 --> 00:31:39.599
me to pick up some items from a supermarket. So
559
00:31:39.680 --> 00:31:41.480
I had a couple of items. I picked it up.
560
00:31:41.559 --> 00:31:44.759
There was only one checkout lane, and a lady came
561
00:31:44.799 --> 00:31:46.440
in front of me. It was a long line, and
562
00:31:46.519 --> 00:31:48.079
a lady came in front of me. She had one
563
00:31:48.079 --> 00:31:51.200
of these shopping cars which are overflowing with stuff, and
564
00:31:51.279 --> 00:31:53.440
I said, oh gosh, it's going to take me forever
565
00:31:53.519 --> 00:31:55.559
to get out of here. And then she looked at
566
00:31:55.599 --> 00:31:57.759
me and spiled sweetly and said, you only have a
567
00:31:57.759 --> 00:31:59.599
couple of items. Why don't you go ahead of me?
568
00:32:00.119 --> 00:32:02.480
So I did, and then somebody tapped me on the
569
00:32:02.480 --> 00:32:04.599
shoulder and a cashier said, what do you come to
570
00:32:04.680 --> 00:32:07.759
me too? I'm opening that up, so I went out. Now,
571
00:32:07.839 --> 00:32:11.279
normally things like that happen and you simply say, hey,
572
00:32:11.359 --> 00:32:15.039
wonderful and you forget about it. Don't do that. Recognize it,
573
00:32:15.200 --> 00:32:20.039
acknowledge it, celebrat it, and recognize it as a sign
574
00:32:20.319 --> 00:32:24.880
of a friendly universe. And when you do that, you'll
575
00:32:24.880 --> 00:32:27.839
be surprised at how many they are. Take our by
576
00:32:27.880 --> 00:32:31.039
being on this call with you. For example, you reached
577
00:32:31.079 --> 00:32:33.960
out to me to be part of another program that
578
00:32:34.039 --> 00:32:37.319
you're running, and I was intrigued by your background, so
579
00:32:37.359 --> 00:32:39.240
I said, let's beat and we did. We had a
580
00:32:39.279 --> 00:32:44.079
beautiful conversation, and now we're having another beautiful conversation. It's
581
00:32:44.079 --> 00:32:47.720
a friendly universe. If you start looking for science that
582
00:32:47.799 --> 00:32:50.960
there is a friendly universe, you'll find them everywhere, and
583
00:32:51.000 --> 00:32:53.440
if you make a note of all of those in
584
00:32:53.480 --> 00:32:56.200
a short time, you'll see there are so many instances
585
00:32:56.240 --> 00:32:58.720
of it being a friendly universe. That is it possible?
586
00:32:59.160 --> 00:33:03.039
Is it just barely possible that is a friendly universe
587
00:33:03.079 --> 00:33:06.480
after all? And then you tip over and your experience
588
00:33:06.519 --> 00:33:09.759
of life becomes completely different. That's what I enstein meant
589
00:33:09.759 --> 00:33:13.160
when you said the most important question you or ask
590
00:33:13.279 --> 00:33:16.519
yourself is the universe fandly.
591
00:33:16.279 --> 00:33:20.279
Wow, that is so powerful and it counters something. I
592
00:33:20.279 --> 00:33:22.680
think it's very helpful for us all to realize that
593
00:33:22.720 --> 00:33:26.759
there's something that psychologists call the negativity bias. That because
594
00:33:26.799 --> 00:33:30.200
our human biology is set up for survival, and you know,
595
00:33:30.240 --> 00:33:33.200
at the most primitive level of our neurophysiology, it's all
596
00:33:33.240 --> 00:33:37.160
about survival. And because of that, when we have negative
597
00:33:37.200 --> 00:33:40.160
experiences or experiences of risk or threat or any kind
598
00:33:40.160 --> 00:33:42.759
of negativity goes right in a long term memory and
599
00:33:43.200 --> 00:33:46.519
we focus on that, whereas when we're having positive experiences,
600
00:33:46.559 --> 00:33:48.559
it doesn't even go on a long term memory unless
601
00:33:48.559 --> 00:33:50.519
we hold it in short term memory, like you're saying,
602
00:33:50.559 --> 00:33:53.480
we look for those we journal about those positive experiences,
603
00:33:53.680 --> 00:33:55.559
otherwise they don't even go in a long term memory.
604
00:33:55.599 --> 00:33:57.920
So our long term memory is mostly full of negativity,
605
00:33:57.920 --> 00:34:02.400
which creates this implicit negative bias called the negativity bias
606
00:34:02.400 --> 00:34:04.599
when we spin everything to the negative. So we're looking
607
00:34:04.640 --> 00:34:07.720
for all the evidence of an unfriendly universe, and you're
608
00:34:07.759 --> 00:34:10.440
suggesting we need to do exactly the opposite of that
609
00:34:11.039 --> 00:34:14.559
and begin to see the evidence for a friendly universe.
610
00:34:14.599 --> 00:34:17.119
And it seems, as I was hearing you describe that
611
00:34:17.800 --> 00:34:22.000
whether the universe is actually friendly or not could be
612
00:34:22.039 --> 00:34:25.639
a big philosophical discussion we could argue about forever. But
613
00:34:25.760 --> 00:34:27.639
if we see it that way and look for the
614
00:34:27.679 --> 00:34:31.119
evidence of it, it will become for us the friendly
615
00:34:31.239 --> 00:34:32.679
universe right exactly.
616
00:34:33.000 --> 00:34:38.000
Attitude greatly immeasurably improve our experience of life.
617
00:34:38.360 --> 00:34:41.360
You know, there's also famous quote I think from the
618
00:34:41.440 --> 00:34:44.599
Scottish Himalian Expedition or something. You may have heard it
619
00:34:45.079 --> 00:34:47.440
that has to do with you know, when we're trying
620
00:34:47.519 --> 00:34:49.920
to do something, Initially we may get sort of a
621
00:34:49.960 --> 00:34:53.320
pushback from the world or the universe, but once we
622
00:34:53.400 --> 00:34:57.360
really demonstrate our commitment, then the universe starts to cooperate
623
00:34:57.400 --> 00:34:59.400
with us in all kinds of magical ways. So that
624
00:34:59.480 --> 00:35:02.239
does seem to be both the quality of this acceptance
625
00:35:02.320 --> 00:35:05.679
and changing our psychology, but also some quality of commitment
626
00:35:06.199 --> 00:35:08.079
that entrepreneurs are very familiar with.
627
00:35:08.599 --> 00:35:12.880
Absolutely that is true. Yeah, you make a commitment and
628
00:35:12.920 --> 00:35:14.920
say I'm going to go this way in the universe
629
00:35:14.960 --> 00:35:17.039
would take ten steps to you.
630
00:35:17.519 --> 00:35:21.079
So we were talking a moment ago about fear and
631
00:35:21.159 --> 00:35:23.400
an inevitable part of life, and it's really how we
632
00:35:23.480 --> 00:35:25.519
dig Fear can be a very creative energy if we
633
00:35:25.599 --> 00:35:27.719
have a good mindset and working with it. As you've
634
00:35:27.760 --> 00:35:32.360
been describing. One of the fears that can really predominate
635
00:35:32.400 --> 00:35:35.800
for entrepreneurs is the fear of failure. And we may
636
00:35:35.840 --> 00:35:38.039
be driven by a fear of failure to not fail,
637
00:35:38.119 --> 00:35:39.679
but it can be there in the background, and I
638
00:35:39.679 --> 00:35:42.840
think it can erode our quality of life. It can
639
00:35:42.840 --> 00:35:45.360
erode our sense of meaning and purpose, if we let
640
00:35:45.440 --> 00:35:49.119
that fear of failure be too dominant in our thinking
641
00:35:49.239 --> 00:35:50.840
and in our emotional life. So I wonder if you
642
00:35:50.880 --> 00:35:53.039
could talk about that fear of failure and how it
643
00:35:53.079 --> 00:35:55.239
comes up for entrepreneurs and how to work with it.
644
00:35:55.599 --> 00:35:58.119
Well, it comes up all the time. Let one of
645
00:35:58.119 --> 00:36:01.440
the things that I constantly hit my clients to come
646
00:36:01.480 --> 00:36:05.119
to terms with this. Yeah, your business might fail, but
647
00:36:05.280 --> 00:36:09.800
that is not your failure. It's like, let's assume that
648
00:36:09.840 --> 00:36:13.480
you're playing tennis and you've never played tennis before. So
649
00:36:13.599 --> 00:36:17.000
you go on the court and the coach feeds you balls,
650
00:36:17.039 --> 00:36:19.559
and you strike the balls, and some of them hit
651
00:36:19.639 --> 00:36:21.320
the net and some of them land on the other
652
00:36:21.400 --> 00:36:26.960
side but beyond the baseline, and you're constantly frustrated. Now,
653
00:36:27.519 --> 00:36:29.800
does each of the balls that hit the net or
654
00:36:29.880 --> 00:36:33.599
land on the other side outside the baseline? Did you fail?
655
00:36:34.159 --> 00:36:37.599
Now that's part of learning to play tennis, and eventually
656
00:36:37.639 --> 00:36:40.119
you'll get your range and the ball will go over
657
00:36:40.159 --> 00:36:42.960
the net and into the other court rather than over
658
00:36:43.000 --> 00:36:46.039
the baseline, and you learn to play tennis. It's exactly
659
00:36:46.159 --> 00:36:49.960
like that. Don't define it as failure, because the moment
660
00:36:50.000 --> 00:36:53.239
you define it as failure, you start suffering. So what
661
00:36:53.280 --> 00:36:56.079
do you do. Simply label it this happened. No matter
662
00:36:56.119 --> 00:36:59.960
what happens. Fleet, You've got to understand that suffering doesn't
663
00:37:00.079 --> 00:37:04.159
begin when an event happens. You lost your biggest custom
664
00:37:04.559 --> 00:37:08.119
Now you've got plenty of spirit capacity. When you lost
665
00:37:08.159 --> 00:37:10.679
your biggest customer, and you say, oh my god, what
666
00:37:10.719 --> 00:37:12.400
am I going to do now? How is it going
667
00:37:12.440 --> 00:37:14.320
to affect my cash flow? Am I going to go
668
00:37:14.400 --> 00:37:16.519
out of business? Will I have to lay off people?
669
00:37:16.599 --> 00:37:19.800
This is terrible And the moment you say this is terrible,
670
00:37:20.440 --> 00:37:25.280
at that instant suffering begins. Now in your life, have
671
00:37:25.400 --> 00:37:28.039
you ever come across a situation, and I'm sure you
672
00:37:28.159 --> 00:37:31.519
have where at the time something happened you thought, oh
673
00:37:31.559 --> 00:37:34.440
my god, this is terrible, but looking back upon it
674
00:37:34.519 --> 00:37:37.199
now you can say it wasn't so terrible after all,
675
00:37:37.400 --> 00:37:39.039
or maybe even that was good.
676
00:37:39.519 --> 00:37:42.639
I think I've been the entire story of my life exactly.
677
00:37:43.079 --> 00:37:45.360
So if something happened to you in the past that
678
00:37:45.480 --> 00:37:47.840
at the time it happened you thought was terrible, but
679
00:37:47.920 --> 00:37:50.159
you can now look back and say it wasn't so terrible,
680
00:37:50.239 --> 00:37:53.119
or maybe even it was good. So what you're today
681
00:37:53.199 --> 00:37:57.000
about to label terrible, is there any possibility that in
682
00:37:57.280 --> 00:37:59.920
X years it could have turned out to be fantastic?
683
00:38:00.559 --> 00:38:03.159
Just asking yourself that question will move you to a
684
00:38:03.159 --> 00:38:06.280
different emotional domain. And if you then ask yourself the
685
00:38:06.280 --> 00:38:10.599
next question, what can I proactively do to actually make
686
00:38:10.679 --> 00:38:13.920
it good? And you move seamlessly from the realm of
687
00:38:14.000 --> 00:38:18.559
despair to the realm of possibility. That's how you combat
688
00:38:18.679 --> 00:38:23.039
fear as an entrepreneur. You never label anything bad. You
689
00:38:23.119 --> 00:38:27.039
simply label it. This happened, Now what do I do?
690
00:38:27.480 --> 00:38:30.039
Give you an example. You know, there was a oh,
691
00:38:30.280 --> 00:38:32.239
this wasn't a client of mine, it was a friend
692
00:38:32.239 --> 00:38:34.880
of a client of mine. So he was trying very
693
00:38:34.920 --> 00:38:38.239
hard to get a particular contract and he didn't get it,
694
00:38:38.320 --> 00:38:40.599
and it went to a competitor, and he felt the
695
00:38:40.639 --> 00:38:44.320
competitor it use somewhat unethical means to get the contract.
696
00:38:44.800 --> 00:38:47.320
So he was pissed off, but you know, he went
697
00:38:47.400 --> 00:38:50.280
on with it, and about six months down the road,
698
00:38:50.960 --> 00:38:54.239
the company or he was trying to pitch, which is
699
00:38:54.280 --> 00:38:59.119
contract to got, was indicted on massive accounting fraud and
700
00:38:59.199 --> 00:39:04.239
when bankrupt, leaving his competitor with a six figure receival
701
00:39:04.280 --> 00:39:06.679
which is never going to collect on. So losing that
702
00:39:06.800 --> 00:39:09.519
contract was a wonderful thing that happened to him. You
703
00:39:09.679 --> 00:39:13.960
never know what will happen or whether something that happens
704
00:39:14.079 --> 00:39:17.320
is quote good or bad, So simply say good thing,
705
00:39:17.639 --> 00:39:20.840
bad thing? Who knows, and go on saying what is
706
00:39:20.880 --> 00:39:23.440
it that I am going to do? And you find
707
00:39:23.480 --> 00:39:25.960
that's a wonderful antidote for fear.
708
00:39:26.400 --> 00:39:28.800
Yeah, there's a wonderful story. I think it's been attributed
709
00:39:28.800 --> 00:39:33.400
to several cultures about a man I think his son
710
00:39:33.679 --> 00:39:36.159
broke his leg or something, and the neighbor's all that, So.
711
00:39:36.239 --> 00:39:39.000
That's often used in my talks. Fleet. It's about a
712
00:39:39.000 --> 00:39:42.719
man and his son who lived in a beautiful valley.
713
00:39:42.800 --> 00:39:45.679
They were did poor, and the man decided that he
714
00:39:45.840 --> 00:39:48.440
was going to become a rich man, and he do
715
00:39:48.519 --> 00:39:51.679
so by breeding horses. So he bought a stallion. And
716
00:39:52.119 --> 00:39:54.320
he didn't have enough money to buy a stallion, borrowed
717
00:39:54.360 --> 00:39:57.039
heavily from the neighbors, and the very dagg got the stallion.
718
00:39:57.079 --> 00:39:59.199
It kicked the top bar loose from the paddock where
719
00:39:59.199 --> 00:40:02.039
he housed it and ran away. And the neighbors came
720
00:40:02.079 --> 00:40:04.519
around and said, your stallion ran away. You were going
721
00:40:04.559 --> 00:40:07.480
to become a rich man, but your stallion is gone
722
00:40:07.719 --> 00:40:10.239
and you still owe his money. You're screwed. And the
723
00:40:10.280 --> 00:40:12.320
man shrugged his shoulder and said, good thing, bad thing.
724
00:40:12.320 --> 00:40:16.000
Who knows That stallion fell into the group of wild horses,
725
00:40:16.480 --> 00:40:18.239
and they were close to where the man lived, so
726
00:40:18.360 --> 00:40:21.199
he was able to entice them into the paddock, which
727
00:40:21.199 --> 00:40:23.480
he had repaired, so he escaped was no longer possible,
728
00:40:23.960 --> 00:40:25.880
so all of a sudden he had the stallion back,
729
00:40:25.920 --> 00:40:28.480
plus a dozen wild horses, which by the standards of
730
00:40:28.519 --> 00:40:31.199
that village bade him a wealthy man. And the neighbors said,
731
00:40:31.199 --> 00:40:34.159
we thought he were destitude, But fortune has spiled upon you.
732
00:40:34.320 --> 00:40:37.519
How wonderful. And they shrugged his shoulders and said, good thing,
733
00:40:37.599 --> 00:40:40.320
bad thing, who knows. The man and his son started
734
00:40:40.360 --> 00:40:42.199
to break the horses so they could sell them on
735
00:40:42.239 --> 00:40:44.480
the market. And one of the horses through the man's
736
00:40:44.480 --> 00:40:46.920
son and stomped on his leg, and it broke, and
737
00:40:46.960 --> 00:40:49.559
it healed crooked, And the neighbors came around, say he
738
00:40:49.639 --> 00:40:51.679
was such a fine young lad, and now he'll never
739
00:40:51.719 --> 00:40:54.639
be able to find a guild to bury him, how sad,
740
00:40:55.119 --> 00:40:57.480
And the man said, good thing, bad thing? Who knows?
741
00:40:58.039 --> 00:41:00.199
That summer the king of the country declared or in
742
00:41:00.239 --> 00:41:02.920
a neighboring country, and press gangs moves to the villages,
743
00:41:03.119 --> 00:41:05.920
routing up all the able bodied young men to serve
744
00:41:05.920 --> 00:41:08.800
in the army. But this man's sound was paid because
745
00:41:08.840 --> 00:41:11.480
he had a crooked leg. And the neighbors came around
746
00:41:11.480 --> 00:41:15.800
with tears in the see our sons alive again, But
747
00:41:15.880 --> 00:41:19.239
you still at your son, how wonderful. And he shrugged
748
00:41:19.239 --> 00:41:21.519
his shoulders and said, good thing, bad thing. Who knows,
749
00:41:21.559 --> 00:41:25.760
and it goes on like that forever. But it's the antidote.
750
00:41:26.000 --> 00:41:28.199
Is there something in your life that your heart was
751
00:41:28.280 --> 00:41:31.360
bad but you can now see that it's good on
752
00:41:31.440 --> 00:41:34.719
the flip side, if it is, don't exult too much
753
00:41:35.320 --> 00:41:39.199
because you don't know whether what happened was actually a
754
00:41:39.239 --> 00:41:43.400
good thing or a bad thing. So don't exult, don't lament,
755
00:41:44.039 --> 00:41:48.119
go about doing whatever it is that you are doing.
756
00:41:48.320 --> 00:41:51.760
Give your attention for your emotional energy into that.
757
00:41:52.280 --> 00:41:54.360
Well, I love what you said about you know when
758
00:41:54.400 --> 00:41:57.400
something happens that maybe it's something we're not so thrilled about,
759
00:41:57.440 --> 00:42:01.320
but just recognizing, okay, it happened, Like we waste so
760
00:42:01.400 --> 00:42:05.239
much energy, you know, flailing about you know that it
761
00:42:05.239 --> 00:42:08.119
shouldn't have happened, It can't happen. Well it did, and
762
00:42:08.159 --> 00:42:11.119
there it is. And there's two questions I think we
763
00:42:11.159 --> 00:42:13.360
can ask ourselves. Will you mentioned one of them, which
764
00:42:13.400 --> 00:42:17.000
we call in ARAQ responsibility, the magical ratical responsibility question
765
00:42:17.119 --> 00:42:19.519
what can I do? And the other might be what
766
00:42:19.599 --> 00:42:21.800
can I learn? So what can I learn from this?
767
00:42:21.880 --> 00:42:24.199
And now what can I do? And that's such a
768
00:42:24.199 --> 00:42:27.679
different mindset, such for freeing mindset to be in rather
769
00:42:27.760 --> 00:42:30.679
than getting into the victim mindset and the complaining and
770
00:42:30.719 --> 00:42:34.880
the flailing about. Absolutely a very similar idea, and I'm
771
00:42:34.880 --> 00:42:37.280
sure you resonate with, you know, the universe that may
772
00:42:37.280 --> 00:42:39.159
be a friend of the university, especially if we learn
773
00:42:39.239 --> 00:42:41.519
to look at it that way. But nonetheless, it's going
774
00:42:41.599 --> 00:42:43.599
to do what it's going to do. We can spend
775
00:42:43.679 --> 00:42:46.920
all our time railing about it and panticizing about it,
776
00:42:47.039 --> 00:42:50.639
or we could just be curious about it. Oh that's interesting, now,
777
00:42:50.679 --> 00:42:51.480
what right?
778
00:42:52.079 --> 00:42:54.639
How fascinating is ben Zander would.
779
00:42:54.400 --> 00:42:58.679
Say, Yeah, that's wonderful. You teach a big part of
780
00:42:58.719 --> 00:43:01.119
what you do, I think is you teach each entrepreneurs
781
00:43:01.119 --> 00:43:05.599
and executives how to do their very challenging jobs and
782
00:43:05.719 --> 00:43:11.320
take on big challenges while maintaining inner peace. So what
783
00:43:11.440 --> 00:43:14.480
is inner piece and how do we maintain it as
784
00:43:15.000 --> 00:43:20.079
entrepreneurs and business leaders who are facing continual challenges and
785
00:43:20.119 --> 00:43:23.559
continual uncertainty. I know we've been talking about this already
786
00:43:23.599 --> 00:43:25.679
a bit, but I wanted to could talk specifically about
787
00:43:25.719 --> 00:43:28.119
inner piece kind of what is it and how do
788
00:43:28.159 --> 00:43:28.760
we develop it.
789
00:43:29.320 --> 00:43:34.000
By inner piece, what I mean is the notion that
790
00:43:34.360 --> 00:43:37.800
you have the comfort level that you have that you're
791
00:43:38.159 --> 00:43:43.079
exactly where you should be, doing exactly what you should
792
00:43:43.119 --> 00:43:47.800
be doing. You wouldn't be rather someplace else, doing something else,
793
00:43:48.400 --> 00:43:52.679
feeling differently. And what I ask people to do is
794
00:43:52.800 --> 00:43:55.559
look at their life. Is that do you have joy
795
00:43:55.599 --> 00:43:59.599
in your life? Are you happy? And many persons are
796
00:44:00.360 --> 00:44:03.119
back because there is not a question which is routinely asked.
797
00:44:03.159 --> 00:44:05.559
And when they think about it and say yes, I
798
00:44:05.559 --> 00:44:08.480
am happy, they're said in the bar very low because
799
00:44:08.480 --> 00:44:10.559
when you say you're happy, what you really mean is
800
00:44:10.719 --> 00:44:14.039
there's nothing actively bothering me right now. And there are
801
00:44:14.079 --> 00:44:16.920
actually some things I look forward to in life, like
802
00:44:17.199 --> 00:44:20.480
maybe a new Netrix thiller or going to dinner with
803
00:44:20.519 --> 00:44:23.119
a friend. That's not what I'm calling about. Do you
804
00:44:23.159 --> 00:44:25.440
feel your blood singing and the thought of being who
805
00:44:25.480 --> 00:44:28.599
you are and doing what you do? Do you float
806
00:44:28.920 --> 00:44:32.360
joyously in the air, touching ground every hundred yards or so?
807
00:44:33.000 --> 00:44:36.000
Do you come radiantly alive or at least a portion
808
00:44:36.079 --> 00:44:38.599
of each day. If the answer is no, why not?
809
00:44:38.840 --> 00:44:41.559
Because that is your true nature? That is what you
810
00:44:41.639 --> 00:44:42.119
should be.
811
00:44:42.679 --> 00:44:43.639
In India we have.
812
00:44:43.639 --> 00:44:45.519
A term for that. We call it such an an
813
00:44:46.079 --> 00:44:50.079
existence knowledge bliss. Why do you not experience it? And
814
00:44:50.519 --> 00:44:52.480
you know once people think about it and say, yeah,
815
00:44:52.480 --> 00:44:55.800
that sounds wonderful. I want to be there. They're my
816
00:44:55.880 --> 00:45:00.119
ideal coaching client. Because the point is you are already there.
817
00:45:00.199 --> 00:45:02.519
You don't have to get it. You can't acquire it.
818
00:45:02.800 --> 00:45:06.199
You have to release it, and you release it by
819
00:45:06.280 --> 00:45:10.159
recognizing that you are not in control. And it's perfectly
820
00:45:10.239 --> 00:45:13.760
okay not being control. That the universe is going. It's
821
00:45:13.960 --> 00:45:18.159
very base and it is a benevolent universe. And your
822
00:45:18.280 --> 00:45:22.840
job is to dance with the universe. Don't try to
823
00:45:23.000 --> 00:45:25.760
shape it and force it to come to your path.
824
00:45:26.360 --> 00:45:29.199
Dance with it. And as you start dancing with it,
825
00:45:29.320 --> 00:45:33.280
you'll find that there's a joy. Okay, your business fail, wonderful,
826
00:45:33.360 --> 00:45:36.360
You're going to start another business and the learning you
827
00:45:36.440 --> 00:45:41.039
have will help you tremendously and you're always growing because
828
00:45:41.079 --> 00:45:43.599
one of the things I emphasize fleet is that the
829
00:45:43.920 --> 00:45:46.760
only thing you ever do in life is you work
830
00:45:46.760 --> 00:45:51.599
with yourself, and a wonderful, benevolent, friendly universe gives you
831
00:45:51.639 --> 00:45:55.000
all kinds of tools. Your partner is a tool, your
832
00:45:55.079 --> 00:45:58.320
children are tools, your business is a tool. In fact,
833
00:45:58.360 --> 00:46:00.880
your business is the Swiss Army in nipe tools. You're
834
00:46:00.880 --> 00:46:03.119
going to use it as skillfully as you can. But
835
00:46:03.239 --> 00:46:06.440
in the process of using it skillfully, what you're really
836
00:46:06.480 --> 00:46:10.360
doing is you're working on yourself and that is the
837
00:46:10.400 --> 00:46:13.960
only thing you do in life. It's a radical concept,
838
00:46:14.000 --> 00:46:17.159
but once you start embracing it, it's wonderful how it
839
00:46:17.360 --> 00:46:19.119
simplifies so much of your life.
840
00:46:19.719 --> 00:46:23.199
I'm glad you brought in this wisdom from your culture,
841
00:46:23.519 --> 00:46:27.159
a culture of India which is renowned for having a wisdom,
842
00:46:27.280 --> 00:46:30.480
a profound wisdom, culture that goes back many, many thousands
843
00:46:30.480 --> 00:46:33.599
of years. And you know, a lot of entrepreneurs probably
844
00:46:33.679 --> 00:46:36.719
don't think of entrepreneurship as a spiritual activity. They may
845
00:46:36.760 --> 00:46:39.239
not even think of themselves as spiritual, or they may
846
00:46:39.280 --> 00:46:42.199
and they may have a faith tradition. But we definitely,
847
00:46:42.440 --> 00:46:45.840
you know, that's over here and businesses over here. And
848
00:46:46.079 --> 00:46:49.880
I think personally we separate those two at our own expense.
849
00:46:50.199 --> 00:46:52.159
And I think in the culture of India, the little
850
00:46:52.199 --> 00:46:55.239
I know, you know, there are different roles in life
851
00:46:55.239 --> 00:46:58.239
and stages of life that are all honored. So there's
852
00:46:58.519 --> 00:47:01.559
you know, someone in the role of a householder, someone's
853
00:47:01.599 --> 00:47:05.559
a business person, someone's a priest, someone's a physicians. But
854
00:47:05.719 --> 00:47:08.280
all these roles can be seen as a spiritual path.
855
00:47:08.800 --> 00:47:11.239
And also I think it was common for someone to
856
00:47:11.280 --> 00:47:13.920
play out their life in the world and achieve what
857
00:47:14.039 --> 00:47:16.320
they achieve, and then maybe let that go and move
858
00:47:16.360 --> 00:47:19.880
into a more deeply focused spiritual life as well. But
859
00:47:19.960 --> 00:47:24.960
there's not so much separation between our worldly life and
860
00:47:25.000 --> 00:47:28.079
our spiritual life. They're not as separated in that culture.
861
00:47:28.079 --> 00:47:29.599
I don't think by the he.
862
00:47:29.760 --> 00:47:30.760
Is separated at all.
863
00:47:30.840 --> 00:47:31.199
Fleet.
864
00:47:31.480 --> 00:47:34.960
In fact, I believe that life is a spiritual journey.
865
00:47:35.400 --> 00:47:39.800
And my ideal client Fleet is someone who's very successful,
866
00:47:40.119 --> 00:47:44.000
who's driven and he really or she really wants to
867
00:47:44.039 --> 00:47:46.840
make an impact on the world, but also has a
868
00:47:46.880 --> 00:47:50.880
spiritual drive and isn't quite sure how that fits into it.
869
00:47:51.320 --> 00:47:53.480
In the back of the minds, many have the notion
870
00:47:54.280 --> 00:47:57.320
I can meditate eight hours a day and grow spiritually,
871
00:47:57.880 --> 00:48:00.639
or I can become a business titan. And my job
872
00:48:00.719 --> 00:48:04.239
is to show them it's not r it's and becoming
873
00:48:04.280 --> 00:48:09.440
a business titan is your spiritual pod. So how does
874
00:48:09.480 --> 00:48:11.599
that play out when you're going to make the decision
875
00:48:11.719 --> 00:48:16.559
every entrepreneur has to make, should I spend five million
876
00:48:16.639 --> 00:48:20.280
dollars of this pridiculous strategy? Should I hire this person
877
00:48:20.400 --> 00:48:23.679
in a senior executive position. How do you bring your
878
00:48:23.719 --> 00:48:27.159
spiritual outlook to that? That's the sandbox in which I play.
879
00:48:27.800 --> 00:48:29.280
You know, I can't think of his name. It's not
880
00:48:29.360 --> 00:48:31.599
coming to me. I haven't looked at his work in
881
00:48:31.639 --> 00:48:34.360
a long time. But he was a well known business
882
00:48:34.400 --> 00:48:38.639
author and teacher of business, and he did a study
883
00:48:38.639 --> 00:48:42.760
at one time. He actually interviewed some very some titans
884
00:48:42.760 --> 00:48:46.000
of business, some CEOs of major corporations, but who were
885
00:48:46.039 --> 00:48:50.639
renowned CEOs, very successful and admirable leaders. And he also
886
00:48:50.679 --> 00:48:53.400
had the opportunity to interview a number of fairly renowned
887
00:48:53.440 --> 00:48:57.400
spiritual teachers, and he found they had a lot in common. Yes,
888
00:48:57.480 --> 00:48:59.360
it's a really interesting book. I wish I could remember
889
00:48:59.360 --> 00:49:00.760
the name of it. But he found that there was
890
00:49:00.800 --> 00:49:04.000
a lot in common that allowed both of them to
891
00:49:04.400 --> 00:49:09.599
manifest those roles as a business leader and spiritual leader.
892
00:49:10.119 --> 00:49:12.239
I don't believe that there is a difference. There is
893
00:49:12.280 --> 00:49:16.559
a difference, but it's an artificial difference that people create,
894
00:49:17.480 --> 00:49:20.239
and I encourage them to transcend that there is no
895
00:49:20.400 --> 00:49:24.280
spiritual life and business life. There's only one.
896
00:49:24.119 --> 00:49:29.239
Life, beautiful, beautiful. So, as we're coming kind of close
897
00:49:29.280 --> 00:49:32.760
for our time, doctor Row, you may have addressed this already.
898
00:49:32.800 --> 00:49:35.119
But in terms of the importance of mindset, I know
899
00:49:35.199 --> 00:49:38.440
your work is really about helping entrepreneurs have the kind
900
00:49:38.440 --> 00:49:40.960
of mindset that's going to lead both to business success
901
00:49:41.039 --> 00:49:44.480
and happiness and spiritual fulfillment, meaning and purpose, all of
902
00:49:44.480 --> 00:49:48.519
these things, and that this can all become seamless, doesn't
903
00:49:48.599 --> 00:49:52.920
need to be compartmentalized. And so in terms of in
904
00:49:52.960 --> 00:49:56.360
the face of all the challenges that entrepreneurs and business
905
00:49:56.440 --> 00:49:58.679
leaders face day in India out, what would you say
906
00:49:58.719 --> 00:50:02.639
is the most fundamental mindset shift that they need to
907
00:50:02.679 --> 00:50:07.000
make or begin working on the fundamental mind shift change.
908
00:50:07.199 --> 00:50:08.880
I'll give you two if I may flee.
909
00:50:09.039 --> 00:50:10.519
Okay, well there you get away with two.
910
00:50:10.920 --> 00:50:14.079
The first is recognize that you do not live in
911
00:50:14.079 --> 00:50:17.960
a real world. You live in a construct. Every single
912
00:50:18.000 --> 00:50:21.400
one of us is living in the matrix. But this
913
00:50:21.480 --> 00:50:25.119
is not a matrix created by an alien civilization out
914
00:50:25.159 --> 00:50:28.880
to enslave us. This is a matrix that we have
915
00:50:29.039 --> 00:50:32.599
created with our mental chatter and a metal models. And
916
00:50:32.679 --> 00:50:36.360
this is actually a hugely liberating concept because if you
917
00:50:36.400 --> 00:50:38.800
live in a real world and you don't like it,
918
00:50:38.880 --> 00:50:41.960
you screwednn't bear it. But if you live in a
919
00:50:42.079 --> 00:50:46.079
construct and you don't like it, you can deconstruct the
920
00:50:46.159 --> 00:50:48.760
parts of it that are not working and build it
921
00:50:48.840 --> 00:50:52.679
up again. Do this over and over again. That's a
922
00:50:52.800 --> 00:50:56.639
learnable skill. The second thing I would like everyone listening
923
00:50:56.679 --> 00:50:59.880
to this podcast to understand, Flee, is that you're aware
924
00:51:00.519 --> 00:51:04.320
is like a flashlight. This is hugely important. Your awareness
925
00:51:04.400 --> 00:51:06.920
is like a flashlight. What does a flashlight do? It
926
00:51:07.039 --> 00:51:10.079
illuminates whatever you shine it on. Shine it on the floor,
927
00:51:10.159 --> 00:51:12.800
lights up the floor, shinden on the ceiling, lights up
928
00:51:12.840 --> 00:51:15.880
the ceiling. And I'll prove it to you. I want you,
929
00:51:16.079 --> 00:51:20.000
right now, Flee, to shine the flashlight of your awareness
930
00:51:20.199 --> 00:51:23.519
on the chair in which you're sitting. And the moment
931
00:51:23.559 --> 00:51:25.519
you do that, you can feel the pressure of your
932
00:51:25.559 --> 00:51:28.679
buttucks on the seat. You can feel the fabric or
933
00:51:28.679 --> 00:51:31.840
the leather against the back of your highes correct. Right,
934
00:51:32.400 --> 00:51:35.360
thirty seconds ago, you were not aware of any of it.
935
00:51:35.920 --> 00:51:38.760
Why are you aware of it now because you've shown
936
00:51:38.840 --> 00:51:42.000
the flashlight of your awareness on it. Where do we
937
00:51:42.199 --> 00:51:46.639
typically shine the flashlight of our awareness? We typically shine
938
00:51:46.679 --> 00:51:49.440
the flashlight of our awareness or the two three or
939
00:51:49.440 --> 00:51:52.239
fourthings that are wrong in a light precisely on the
940
00:51:52.280 --> 00:51:55.880
two three or four things that we have arbitterarly decided
941
00:51:56.039 --> 00:51:58.719
are wrong in our lives, and what about the forty
942
00:51:58.760 --> 00:52:01.559
fifty two hundred things which are pretty dang good about
943
00:52:01.599 --> 00:52:05.320
our lives? I would bet that nobody listening to this
944
00:52:05.400 --> 00:52:08.039
podcast has to worry about whether they're going to have
945
00:52:08.159 --> 00:52:11.760
dinner tomorrow. They have a bed to sleep in, they
946
00:52:11.800 --> 00:52:16.320
have a roof over their head. They're incredibly privileged, but
947
00:52:16.400 --> 00:52:20.760
they don't feel incredibly privileged. They feel put upon and
948
00:52:20.880 --> 00:52:23.840
stressed out. And why is that? Because of where they
949
00:52:23.920 --> 00:52:29.159
shine the flashlight of their awareness. Loves it strategy. Consciously,
950
00:52:29.480 --> 00:52:33.480
deliberately shine the flashlight of your awareness on the benyvies
951
00:52:33.599 --> 00:52:37.840
in which you're incredibly fortunate and truly blessed. Do it
952
00:52:37.920 --> 00:52:40.119
last thing at night before you could a bet when
953
00:52:40.199 --> 00:52:42.719
you get up in the morning, don't go immediately to
954
00:52:42.800 --> 00:52:44.639
the place of, oh my god, there's too much to
955
00:52:44.679 --> 00:52:46.360
do and I don't have enough time to do it all.
956
00:52:46.880 --> 00:52:51.599
Recall that feeling of blessedness. Soak in it, shove and
957
00:52:51.599 --> 00:52:54.639
a bathe in it, Marinate in it as you go
958
00:52:54.719 --> 00:52:58.079
through the day. Constantly call up, call it up in
959
00:52:58.119 --> 00:53:01.960
you how fortunate you are. It is my hope that
960
00:53:02.119 --> 00:53:06.440
everyone listening to this will occupy the default emotional domain
961
00:53:06.599 --> 00:53:10.639
of appreciation and gratitude. Because when you're in the default
962
00:53:10.639 --> 00:53:15.679
emotional domain of appreciation gratitude, you're un nervous, you're not anxious,
963
00:53:15.800 --> 00:53:19.960
you're not fearful. The two cannot coexist.
964
00:53:20.639 --> 00:53:24.719
Wow. Such an empowering message. This idea that we essentially
965
00:53:24.760 --> 00:53:28.280
live in a constructed, our version of the universe, and
966
00:53:28.320 --> 00:53:29.840
so if there are parts of it that are not
967
00:53:30.000 --> 00:53:33.320
working for us, we can change it. So empowering. And
968
00:53:33.360 --> 00:53:37.199
then there's also incredibly empowering message that the power of
969
00:53:37.280 --> 00:53:40.320
where we shine that light of awareness. Beautiful. Thank you.
970
00:53:40.440 --> 00:53:44.039
This has been incredibly empowering, and I really hope, I
971
00:53:44.079 --> 00:53:47.119
hope our listeners can really appreciate that this is Some
972
00:53:47.159 --> 00:53:49.440
people might want to, oh, this is the soft stuff
973
00:53:49.519 --> 00:53:52.639
or something, but this is probably the principles that are
974
00:53:52.679 --> 00:53:55.440
most central to not only to our business success, but
975
00:53:55.519 --> 00:53:58.760
to our happiness and so important and so valuable. Thank
976
00:53:58.800 --> 00:54:01.519
you so much. Where can people find out more about
977
00:54:01.519 --> 00:54:04.119
your work, doctor Raw and the Raw Institute.
978
00:54:04.360 --> 00:54:08.559
They can go to my website and my website is www.
979
00:54:09.079 --> 00:54:14.079
The Raw Institute dot com. They can email me and
980
00:54:14.159 --> 00:54:17.000
my email is my name Street Kumar s Ri I
981
00:54:17.079 --> 00:54:21.119
k U M A. R. Dot Ru at the Row
982
00:54:21.239 --> 00:54:22.400
Institute dot com.
983
00:54:22.800 --> 00:54:26.000
Well, thank you so much for your generosity and the
984
00:54:26.039 --> 00:54:28.599
wisdom you've shared with us today. And it's really been
985
00:54:28.639 --> 00:54:32.800
a joy and something that I personally needed today and
986
00:54:33.039 --> 00:54:37.119
I'm finding immediately helpful in my life as an entrepreneur.
987
00:54:37.199 --> 00:54:40.119
So thank you so much, my person entirely Fleet.
988
00:54:40.119 --> 00:54:43.000
And if any of your listeners go to my website,
989
00:54:43.039 --> 00:54:46.320
there's a big red button says join the community or
990
00:54:46.440 --> 00:54:49.000
join now, And if they sign up there then they'll
991
00:54:49.039 --> 00:54:53.079
get my blog and they'll get information about my programs.
992
00:54:53.599 --> 00:54:55.960
Wonderful, wonderful. Encourage our audience to do that.
993
00:54:56.119 --> 00:54:59.159
Thank you so much, my preson entirely Fleet.
994
00:55:00.119 --> 00:55:03.360
Well, thank you, thank you for joining me on the
995
00:55:03.480 --> 00:55:07.800
Radical Responsibility Podcast. Remember, real change happens when we commit
996
00:55:07.840 --> 00:55:10.880
to our growth, face our challenges with compassion, and stay
997
00:55:10.880 --> 00:55:14.239
open to transformation. If you found this episode helpful, I
998
00:55:14.360 --> 00:55:17.039
encourage you to subscribe and help us spread the message
999
00:55:17.039 --> 00:55:20.880
of healing and personal empowerment. Stay grounded, stay present, and
1000
00:55:20.960 --> 00:55:22.559
stay true to you. Take care