The First Mistake That Will Sink You in a Crisis

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I've had a week, actually two.
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I was supposed to be taking a break, like a two-week break, because I know September's gonna be a huge month of crisis, but apparently crisis doesn't sleep and neither does my calendar.
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Here's what's been happening.
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My team has been working through a tech issue connecting my scheduling software with my meeting platform.
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In the meantime, people are still finding the link on my website to book 60 or 90-minute sessions.
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Most people don't even know that I offer these sessions.
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I don't promote them heavily, but they're there and right now they're full.
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I keep taking them because one I don't want to cancel someone in a crisis just because my backend isn't working.
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These aren't casual check-ins.
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These are public, high stakes, emotionally charged crises.
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Some of the people I'm speaking to are public figures.
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Others are leaders having a very private panic or someone online a known person online going through a viral spiral.
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But across the board, there's a through line, a pattern, and it's the same one I see every year, especially around this time.
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So this week on the podcast the last one before the summer ends in the US I want to talk about the number one reason people self-destruct in a public crisis, whether you're in the spotlight right now or watching someone else go through it.
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This will apply.
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Hey there, welcome to the PR Breakdown.
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I'm your host, molly McPherson, and let me say this up front I'm not a therapist, but I've had so many PR calls that turn into therapy sessions.
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Not a therapist, but I've had so many PR calls that turn into therapy sessions.
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I've started calling them what they are, and there have been days where I've thought about going back to school to become a therapist honestly because I enjoy it so much Until my friend and colleague, doug, reminded me that if I did, I wouldn't be able to talk about anything publicly, and I thought, hmm, you have a point there.
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Not that I talk about people's private crisis.
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There's always a confidentiality agreement with every single client I work with.
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However, I can talk about the patterns, and right now, the pattern is clear In my role as a crisis manager.
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People call me when something breaks and recently, more and more of these calls are not about the external noise, they're about what's happening inside.
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Usually, I enlighten the person that they have a problem inside the house, like within their culture.
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But there's also another crisis happening even deeper.
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Sometimes the call comes from the person at the center of the crisis.
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Sometimes it's their operations lead or comms director, someone just outside the eye of the storm who can see the damage but can't get through.
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They're hoping I can.
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The story is almost always the same.
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The issue may look like a PR problem, but it's not.
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It's a neurological problem, it's biological, it's behavioral.
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The call is coming from inside the brain.
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Here's what I mean.
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Located deep inside the temporal lobe is the amygdala.
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Now are you thinking, molly, you have no credentials to talk about this?
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You would be right.
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I do not have any certification, any higher ed credentials that says I have any right to talk about this.
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But I do have Google and I have experience.
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And of course I have Dr Abby who monthly joins us on our Substack calls.
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We always talk about the amygdala and we always talk about what happens when people just spiral in these crises.
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She'll break it down from a therapist's point of view.
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But the amygdala even if you had a high school biology class, you probably learn about it.
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It's that small almond-shaped cluster of neurons.
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It's your brain surveillance system.
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Its job is to detect threat quickly.
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That threat can be physical, it could be a loud noise, a car swerving towards you.
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It could be personal a confrontation, an accusation, but it can also be reputational a leaked email, a really bad hit piece in the press, a viral TikTok or backlash in the comment section.
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The amygdala is the brain surveillance system.
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I am the crisis surveillance system.
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My job is also to detect threat and that's why I tell them.
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The amygdala does not distinguish between any of those categories.
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Right now, what you're going through, your brain is sensing danger and it's pulled the alarm.
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That signal is getting routed to okay, back to non-Dr Molly.
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The hypothalamus that acts like your body's command center, the sympathetic nervous system kicks in.
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That's the adrenaline flooding, cortisol spiking.
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I see people on these calls, whether they're in person or virtual.
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I can tell that their heart is racing.
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I can tell when the breathing quickens, the muscles are tightening.
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I can tell just by how they're sitting, how they're talking to me, what they're doing with their hands.
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It's in that moment that my rational brain because I'm using a prefrontal cortex I can recognize that their prefrontal cortex went offline.
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That's an amygdala hijack.
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It was coined by psychologist Daniel Goleman.
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It describes the moment when your emotional brain overrides your rational brain, and here's why it matters in a PR crisis.
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The prefrontal cortex is the part of your brain responsible for judgment, self-regulation and long-term thinking.
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It's where your leadership voice lives.
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It's where your values-based decisions are made.
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In these calls I am trying to rationally connect the person when they're at their most emotional.
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I'm telling them that their brain has been hijacked.
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My job is to tell them this public attack has really created a brain hijack and your system is temporarily shutting down.
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Your emotional brain is driving the bus right now and that's usually when the call comes in.
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As I mentioned, I see all the physical signs of it, but also there's this obsessive urge to say something.
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We have to get something out.
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We have to do it now.
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They're just obsessed because they think if they say something or do something it's immediately going to go away and that's not a communication problem.
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That reaction creates a bigger communication problem.
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But this is a nervous system issue that looks like a communication problem and if I don't address the hijack first, any PR advice I give falls flat because the brain can't hear it.
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And here's what it sounds like on these calls, particularly in the six weeks that I've been taking calls.
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I need to post something right now.
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I need to say something right now.
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I've written this statement 14 times.
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None of it feels right.
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I need you to rewrite it for me.
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I need to post something on TikTok immediately.
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Should I do an apology post or should I just address what's happening there?
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I want people to know exactly what they did to me, point by point by point.
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I want to explain it.
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Here's another big one.
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I hear a lot.
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I want to get legal involved.
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Now.
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I tell them it may seem like strategic thinking, but what you're doing right now is emotional processing.
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So here's what I tell clients and here's what I'm going to tell you now.
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When you're under attack and your brain has been hijacked, do these things?
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Just picture me in the room with you telling you this One recognize the signs.
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If your heart is racing, your shoulders are tight, you feel a compulsion to respond.
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Right now, that's your amygdala talking.
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The best move in that moment is just to stop, not speak, and if this is personal, just put down the phone.
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Don't reply to the text.
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Two breathe.
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By the way fun fact my favorite Pearl Jam song is called Just Breathe.
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Listen to that song.
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That's my personal recommendation.
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I love that song.
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That's why I tell like my kids I said in the words of Eddie Vedder just breathe.
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This isn't mindfulness platitude.
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It is science.
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Deep, slow breathing helps regulate your nervous system and brings your prefrontal cortex back online.
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Three create space between you and the crisis.
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Don't read the comments.
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Don't check DMs.
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Don't peek at the quotes.
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Don't read the news article.
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Don't watch the video of someone destroying you.
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Hand it off to someone who's emotionally neutral and knows what to filter.
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The closer you are to the crisis, the more likely you are to pour gas on it.
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I always tell people find the employee, find someone not related to you.
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Recently, someone said could I have my husband do that?
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No, no, no, no, no, no.
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Get someone who's not emotionally tied in.
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Four wait before speaking, and I'm saying this as a crisis strategist.
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I have plenty of information out there.
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It's even in my book.
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If you've been called out within 15 minutes, you have to say something somewhere.
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Oh my gosh, that is all over my material.
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But now the algorithm has caught up with the amygdala.
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A 24-hour pause can save you 24 days of damage control.
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If you're in a hijack, you're not thinking clearly, and if you're not thinking clearly, you're not communicating wisely.
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Now, this isn't every single crisis, so take this for what I'm telling you.
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This is typically for these viral crises.
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On TikTok, on Instagram, there's a Facebook group going against you and it's just heightened and it won't stop.
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Take a breath, you don't need to respond right away and five return to values.
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As you go through this response, ask yourself what do I want to be known for when all of this is over?
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Not in terms of perception, but in terms of principle?
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That's the question your cortex is equipped to answer.
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And here's the part most people don't realize the biggest risk in public backlash isn't the audience, it's the overreaction.
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You can't fix what people think about you while you're still panicking.
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That's why they call me.
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I'm the regulator in the room until they can be whole again.
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You're not just hiring me to write the message.
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You're hiring me to protect your decision-making until your brain catches up, because the right words don't come from panic.
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They come from clarity, and clarity only comes when the hijack ends.
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That's all for this week on the podcast.
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Take a breath and let your brain, your cortex, take the lead.
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Bye for now.