113: MMM - On Feedback, Part One: Give Them an A!

I always ask for feedback on my coaching, speaking and trainings. Partly because I want to be sure that what I'm doing is working and I want to know ways I can get better - but also because I give so much darn feedback it only feels right to offer people a chance to give some to me. And one of the things I hear again and again is that I have a way of giving candid feedback in a loving way. In a way that people appreciate and hear and can learn from. It's one of the highest compliments that I have received in my work, and I appreciate it greatly - not only because it makes me an effective coach, but because that's how I want to do business. I want to help people be better speakers, but I also want to hold people up and celebrate them. I love people. And I want them to FEEL good, as well as do good work. And there was a time when I wondered if you could do both. That's an old paradigm of thinking - and I'm so glad to de-bunk it. You can do both. In fact, I think all things work best when you can do both. Not that there aren't times when you're giving a hard message that isn't welcome; that happens a lot. It's part of the job. And I'm often hired to do exactly that (give the tough messages). But who cares? - and does it even matter? - if people feel deflated and defeated after the message? It doesn't. So - as I start this series on Feedback for the next few Fridays, I wanted to share with you 4 key ideas that are essential in giving and receiving feedback in a way that makes us better, all the way around:

On Feedback, Part 1: Start with an A