WEBVTT
00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:07.200
Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy.
00:00:07.360 --> 00:00:08.080
I'm Dr.
00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:09.599
Catherine, your host.
00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:19.679
Today I'd like to begin with a story that a mother shared with me because I really think it captures what so many families experience after bringing home a new baby.
00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:25.039
She said, I'll never forget the moment we brought our new baby home from the hospital.
00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:31.519
I climbed the front steps, opened the front door, and there stood my 18-month-old Jackie.
00:00:31.760 --> 00:00:43.119
Just a day earlier, she had looked so little, but now with a tiny newborn swaddled in an organic cotton blanket in my arms, she suddenly looked enormous.
00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:47.359
Her legs seemed so long, her hands looked so big.
00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:51.280
And I remember thinking, when did you get so grown up?
00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:53.920
It was one of the strangest feelings.
00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:58.560
And then almost as quickly, Jackie started acting like a baby.
00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:00.479
She wanted to be carried everywhere.
00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:03.679
She wanted to sit in my lap whenever I fed the baby.
00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:06.959
She needed me the moment I settled into nurse.
00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:16.879
The independent little toddler I'd left at home suddenly seemed to disappear overnight, replaced by a child who suddenly needed me for everything.
00:01:17.200 --> 00:01:19.680
Feeding time was especially hard.
00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:30.959
The moment I sat down with the baby, Jackie would climb into my lap, wrap herself around my neck, and ask me to read a book, or suddenly need something right now.
00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:33.599
It wasn't just during nursing.
00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:36.079
The same thing happened whenever I pumped.
00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:42.560
At first I thought she simply had terrible timing, but eventually I realized it wasn't about timing at all.
00:01:42.799 --> 00:01:51.280
Every time I sat down to feed or pump, my attention shifted away from Jackie, and to her those moments felt like being left out.
00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:54.400
They were moments when my attention was elsewhere.
00:01:54.640 --> 00:01:57.280
She wasn't really trying to make feeding harder.
00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:02.239
She was trying to figure out where she fit in this new version of our family.
00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:04.319
And then came the potty accidents.
00:02:04.480 --> 00:02:09.120
She'd yell, Mommy, I need to pee, and I'd point to the potty.
00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:18.000
I felt so relieved she was going on her own, and she'd sit down, I'd finally relax, and then she'd stand up and pee on the floor.
00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:24.639
Now at the time I was exhausted and overwhelmed, and I honestly thought everything was falling apart.
00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:30.159
And what made things even harder was that pumping sessions were uncomfortable and they were lengthy.
00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:42.000
Now I've heard some version of this story from so many mums over the years, and looking back now, after caring for thousands of families as a pediatrician, here's what I've come to understand.
00:02:42.319 --> 00:02:44.719
Jackie wasn't trying to be difficult.
00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:48.719
She was trying to answer one very important question.
00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:50.800
Do I still matter?
00:02:51.120 --> 00:03:01.759
Now that made really good sense, given that she was suddenly forced to share her parents' time and attention, and her life was more chaotic with a new baby's unpredictable schedule.
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:07.280
And that's the question so many toddlers are struggling with after a new baby arrives.
00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:10.000
Not with words, but with their behavior.
00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:20.240
When toddlers suddenly feel displaced because the baby needs to be fed or changed or soothed or settled, they often respond in the only way they know how.
00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.439
They interrupt, they cling, they regress.
00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:28.159
Not because they're being difficult, because they're looking for reassurance.
00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:35.840
So one of the first things that helped this family was making feeding time feel more predictable and special for Jackie.
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:41.759
Her mom started feeding the baby in Jackie's room, so she was surrounded by her favorite toys.
00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:46.319
She put together a special basket that only came out during feeding time.
00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:52.240
They'd read books, sing songs, or Jackie would just choose a story while her mom nursed.
00:03:52.479 --> 00:04:00.800
The goal wasn't to distract Jackie, it was to help her feel included during a moment that was suddenly one of separation.
00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:06.159
And there's something else I'd learned too, both from parents and from my own experience.
00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:15.599
Pumping is often assumed to offer flexibility, the promise that if someone else can feed the baby once in a while, you'll have more time freed up.
00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:18.639
But here's what I've seen in years of practice.
00:04:18.879 --> 00:04:23.279
The number one reason mums quit pumping isn't lack of willpower.
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:27.519
It's that a traditional pump can be time-consuming and frustrating.
00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:34.079
Babies deliver warmth and rhythmic sucking when they nurse, and that's what stimulates letdown.
00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:38.560
A pump that only offers suction at room temperature is missing both.
00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:44.639
And that's one of the reasons I agreed to partner with today's sponsor, Eufie Baby.
00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:50.399
Their Eufy Breast Pump S2 Pro is built around restoring those two missing pieces.
00:04:50.720 --> 00:05:02.240
VibraPump is a built-in vibration massage designed to mimic the rhythm of a baby's natural suckling, the mechanical trigger for a fuller, faster letdown.
00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:13.920
And there's also Heat Flow 2.0 wraps real adjustable warmth around the breast, the way a nursing baby's body naturally does, which helps the milk ducts relax and open.
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:19.519
Now put those two together, and many mums find pumping becomes faster and more productive.
00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:23.600
In testing, you fee found up to 35% more output.
00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:28.240
When pumping works, it's a lot easier to keep showing up for the next one.
00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:31.439
And I also really appreciate their companion app.
00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:35.839
It tracks output and patterns over time, so you're not just guessing.
00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:45.680
And on the logistics side, a wireless charging case that holds up to seven days on one charge means a dead battery doesn't have to be the thing that derails your day.
00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:48.480
It's what the brand calls effortless.
00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:51.279
Less on your body, less on your mind.
00:05:51.519 --> 00:06:00.560
As someone who spent a lifetime helping families, I think that's exactly the kind of support parents need during those exhausting early weeks.
00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:08.240
And while making pumping easier and more effective is one big goal, we still need to help kids adjust to changes.
00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:10.720
So let's dig in there a little deeper.
00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:14.639
First, realistically, expect some regression.
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:27.199
Your potty trained child may suddenly have accidents, they may ask to be carried, they may start baby talk, they may want a bottle, diaper, or a pacifier again, which I'm not suggesting you give them.
00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:32.959
These behaviors are incredibly common and thankfully they're usually temporary.
00:06:33.279 --> 00:06:38.240
Most regressions last somewhere around two, maybe six weeks, two to six weeks.
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:44.720
What children need most during this time is reassurance that they still belong and they still matter.
00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:48.160
Second, create predictable moments of connection.
00:06:48.399 --> 00:06:54.959
One of the easiest ways to reassure your toddler is by sprinkling little moments of connection throughout the day.
00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:57.040
I call them love sprinkles.
00:06:57.439 --> 00:06:58.240
I love you.
00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:00.240
I'm so lucky to be your mummy.
00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:02.560
I was just thinking about you.
00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:09.439
These tiny moments take only a few seconds, but they help fill your child's emotional tank.
00:07:09.759 --> 00:07:19.120
Then, once life settles into a bit of a rhythm, try to spend, you know, around five minutes each day giving your toddler your complete undivided attention.
00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:20.800
Put your phone away.
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:25.439
Let them choose the activity and simply enjoy being together.
00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:30.000
Third, avoid pushing your toddler into the big kid role.
00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:38.560
Try not to say things like, you're a big girl now, or big kids don't do that, or you give that to the baby, you're too big for it.
00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:41.759
Instead, acknowledge what they may be feeling.
00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:44.480
I know it's hard when the baby needs me.
00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:52.720
Or sometimes I'd even lean into it a little and say something like, Oh, it really does feel good to be a baby sometimes, doesn't it?
00:07:53.120 --> 00:07:55.839
You don't have to give them a bottle or a diaper.
00:07:56.079 --> 00:07:58.800
You just have to let them know you understand.
00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:04.240
Feeling understood is much more reassuring than being reminded to grow up.
00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:07.519
Fourth, use strategic attention.
00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:10.639
Notice the behaviors you want to encourage.
00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:13.439
I love how gently you're touching the baby.
00:08:13.759 --> 00:08:15.920
Thank you for bringing me that book.
00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:18.399
I notice you made it to the potty.
00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:23.600
Children repeat the behaviors that consistently earn your attention.
00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:27.519
Finally, stay calm when regressions show up.
00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:32.879
Potty accidents are one of the most common regressions I see after a new baby arrives.
00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:36.639
As difficult as they can be, try to respond calmly.
00:08:36.879 --> 00:08:38.559
Oops, accidents happen.
00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:40.639
Let's get some dry clothes on.
00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:42.159
And then just move on.
00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:51.519
The less attention you attach to accidents and the more attention you give to successful potty trips, the more quickly most children regain their confidence.
00:08:51.759 --> 00:09:02.080
The day Jackie's mum thought she looked so grown up was the very day Jackie needed her to remember that no matter how big she looked, she was still her baby.
00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:04.720
And that's what I'd like you to remember too.
00:09:04.879 --> 00:09:06.480
And one final thought.
00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:14.720
We spent today's episode talking about helping toddlers adjust after a new baby arrives, but supporting you matters too.
00:09:14.960 --> 00:09:21.600
And if you'd like to learn more about the Eufy Breast Pump S2 Pro, I'll put a link in the show notes.
00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:25.440
And you can use the code TME, toddlers made easy.
00:09:25.519 --> 00:09:28.240
So TME UFI E U F Y.
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:35.840
That's T M E U F Y at checkout for an extra 15% off discount.
00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:37.600
Keep up the good work.
00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:40.000
Congratulations on the new baby.
00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:41.919
And I'll see you next week.
00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:46.559
They're living.
00:00:04.799 --> 00:00:07.200
Welcome to Toddlers Made Easy.
00:00:07.360 --> 00:00:08.080
I'm Dr.
00:00:08.160 --> 00:00:09.599
Catherine, your host.
00:00:09.839 --> 00:00:19.679
Today I'd like to begin with a story that a mother shared with me because I really think it captures what so many families experience after bringing home a new baby.
00:00:19.920 --> 00:00:25.039
She said, I'll never forget the moment we brought our new baby home from the hospital.
00:00:25.199 --> 00:00:31.519
I climbed the front steps, opened the front door, and there stood my 18-month-old Jackie.
00:00:31.760 --> 00:00:43.119
Just a day earlier, she had looked so little, but now with a tiny newborn swaddled in an organic cotton blanket in my arms, she suddenly looked enormous.
00:00:43.359 --> 00:00:47.359
Her legs seemed so long, her hands looked so big.
00:00:47.520 --> 00:00:51.280
And I remember thinking, when did you get so grown up?
00:00:51.520 --> 00:00:53.920
It was one of the strangest feelings.
00:00:54.079 --> 00:00:58.560
And then almost as quickly, Jackie started acting like a baby.
00:00:58.719 --> 00:01:00.479
She wanted to be carried everywhere.
00:01:00.640 --> 00:01:03.679
She wanted to sit in my lap whenever I fed the baby.
00:01:03.840 --> 00:01:06.959
She needed me the moment I settled into nurse.
00:01:07.120 --> 00:01:16.879
The independent little toddler I'd left at home suddenly seemed to disappear overnight, replaced by a child who suddenly needed me for everything.
00:01:17.200 --> 00:01:19.680
Feeding time was especially hard.
00:01:19.920 --> 00:01:30.959
The moment I sat down with the baby, Jackie would climb into my lap, wrap herself around my neck, and ask me to read a book, or suddenly need something right now.
00:01:31.280 --> 00:01:33.599
It wasn't just during nursing.
00:01:33.760 --> 00:01:36.079
The same thing happened whenever I pumped.
00:01:36.319 --> 00:01:42.560
At first I thought she simply had terrible timing, but eventually I realized it wasn't about timing at all.
00:01:42.799 --> 00:01:51.280
Every time I sat down to feed or pump, my attention shifted away from Jackie, and to her those moments felt like being left out.
00:01:51.519 --> 00:01:54.400
They were moments when my attention was elsewhere.
00:01:54.640 --> 00:01:57.280
She wasn't really trying to make feeding harder.
00:01:57.519 --> 00:02:02.239
She was trying to figure out where she fit in this new version of our family.
00:02:02.480 --> 00:02:04.319
And then came the potty accidents.
00:02:04.480 --> 00:02:09.120
She'd yell, Mommy, I need to pee, and I'd point to the potty.
00:02:09.280 --> 00:02:18.000
I felt so relieved she was going on her own, and she'd sit down, I'd finally relax, and then she'd stand up and pee on the floor.
00:02:18.319 --> 00:02:24.639
Now at the time I was exhausted and overwhelmed, and I honestly thought everything was falling apart.
00:02:24.800 --> 00:02:30.159
And what made things even harder was that pumping sessions were uncomfortable and they were lengthy.
00:02:30.400 --> 00:02:42.000
Now I've heard some version of this story from so many mums over the years, and looking back now, after caring for thousands of families as a pediatrician, here's what I've come to understand.
00:02:42.319 --> 00:02:44.719
Jackie wasn't trying to be difficult.
00:02:44.960 --> 00:02:48.719
She was trying to answer one very important question.
00:02:49.039 --> 00:02:50.800
Do I still matter?
00:02:51.120 --> 00:03:01.759
Now that made really good sense, given that she was suddenly forced to share her parents' time and attention, and her life was more chaotic with a new baby's unpredictable schedule.
00:03:02.000 --> 00:03:07.280
And that's the question so many toddlers are struggling with after a new baby arrives.
00:03:07.520 --> 00:03:10.000
Not with words, but with their behavior.
00:03:10.240 --> 00:03:20.240
When toddlers suddenly feel displaced because the baby needs to be fed or changed or soothed or settled, they often respond in the only way they know how.
00:03:20.400 --> 00:03:23.439
They interrupt, they cling, they regress.
00:03:23.680 --> 00:03:28.159
Not because they're being difficult, because they're looking for reassurance.
00:03:28.479 --> 00:03:35.840
So one of the first things that helped this family was making feeding time feel more predictable and special for Jackie.
00:03:36.080 --> 00:03:41.759
Her mom started feeding the baby in Jackie's room, so she was surrounded by her favorite toys.
00:03:41.919 --> 00:03:46.319
She put together a special basket that only came out during feeding time.
00:03:46.639 --> 00:03:52.240
They'd read books, sing songs, or Jackie would just choose a story while her mom nursed.
00:03:52.479 --> 00:04:00.800
The goal wasn't to distract Jackie, it was to help her feel included during a moment that was suddenly one of separation.
00:04:01.120 --> 00:04:06.159
And there's something else I'd learned too, both from parents and from my own experience.
00:04:06.479 --> 00:04:15.599
Pumping is often assumed to offer flexibility, the promise that if someone else can feed the baby once in a while, you'll have more time freed up.
00:04:15.840 --> 00:04:18.639
But here's what I've seen in years of practice.
00:04:18.879 --> 00:04:23.279
The number one reason mums quit pumping isn't lack of willpower.
00:04:23.439 --> 00:04:27.519
It's that a traditional pump can be time-consuming and frustrating.
00:04:27.759 --> 00:04:34.079
Babies deliver warmth and rhythmic sucking when they nurse, and that's what stimulates letdown.
00:04:34.319 --> 00:04:38.560
A pump that only offers suction at room temperature is missing both.
00:04:38.720 --> 00:04:44.639
And that's one of the reasons I agreed to partner with today's sponsor, Eufie Baby.
00:04:44.879 --> 00:04:50.399
Their Eufy Breast Pump S2 Pro is built around restoring those two missing pieces.
00:04:50.720 --> 00:05:02.240
VibraPump is a built-in vibration massage designed to mimic the rhythm of a baby's natural suckling, the mechanical trigger for a fuller, faster letdown.
00:05:02.480 --> 00:05:13.920
And there's also Heat Flow 2.0 wraps real adjustable warmth around the breast, the way a nursing baby's body naturally does, which helps the milk ducts relax and open.
00:05:14.160 --> 00:05:19.519
Now put those two together, and many mums find pumping becomes faster and more productive.
00:05:19.680 --> 00:05:23.600
In testing, you fee found up to 35% more output.
00:05:23.839 --> 00:05:28.240
When pumping works, it's a lot easier to keep showing up for the next one.
00:05:28.399 --> 00:05:31.439
And I also really appreciate their companion app.
00:05:31.600 --> 00:05:35.839
It tracks output and patterns over time, so you're not just guessing.
00:05:36.000 --> 00:05:45.680
And on the logistics side, a wireless charging case that holds up to seven days on one charge means a dead battery doesn't have to be the thing that derails your day.
00:05:45.920 --> 00:05:48.480
It's what the brand calls effortless.
00:05:48.720 --> 00:05:51.279
Less on your body, less on your mind.
00:05:51.519 --> 00:06:00.560
As someone who spent a lifetime helping families, I think that's exactly the kind of support parents need during those exhausting early weeks.
00:06:00.800 --> 00:06:08.240
And while making pumping easier and more effective is one big goal, we still need to help kids adjust to changes.
00:06:08.399 --> 00:06:10.720
So let's dig in there a little deeper.
00:06:11.040 --> 00:06:14.639
First, realistically, expect some regression.
00:06:14.879 --> 00:06:27.199
Your potty trained child may suddenly have accidents, they may ask to be carried, they may start baby talk, they may want a bottle, diaper, or a pacifier again, which I'm not suggesting you give them.
00:06:27.680 --> 00:06:32.959
These behaviors are incredibly common and thankfully they're usually temporary.
00:06:33.279 --> 00:06:38.240
Most regressions last somewhere around two, maybe six weeks, two to six weeks.
00:06:38.560 --> 00:06:44.720
What children need most during this time is reassurance that they still belong and they still matter.
00:06:45.040 --> 00:06:48.160
Second, create predictable moments of connection.
00:06:48.399 --> 00:06:54.959
One of the easiest ways to reassure your toddler is by sprinkling little moments of connection throughout the day.
00:06:55.120 --> 00:06:57.040
I call them love sprinkles.
00:06:57.439 --> 00:06:58.240
I love you.
00:06:58.399 --> 00:07:00.240
I'm so lucky to be your mummy.
00:07:00.480 --> 00:07:02.560
I was just thinking about you.
00:07:03.120 --> 00:07:09.439
These tiny moments take only a few seconds, but they help fill your child's emotional tank.
00:07:09.759 --> 00:07:19.120
Then, once life settles into a bit of a rhythm, try to spend, you know, around five minutes each day giving your toddler your complete undivided attention.
00:07:19.680 --> 00:07:20.800
Put your phone away.
00:07:21.040 --> 00:07:25.439
Let them choose the activity and simply enjoy being together.
00:07:25.839 --> 00:07:30.000
Third, avoid pushing your toddler into the big kid role.
00:07:30.160 --> 00:07:38.560
Try not to say things like, you're a big girl now, or big kids don't do that, or you give that to the baby, you're too big for it.
00:07:38.879 --> 00:07:41.759
Instead, acknowledge what they may be feeling.
00:07:42.079 --> 00:07:44.480
I know it's hard when the baby needs me.
00:07:44.720 --> 00:07:52.720
Or sometimes I'd even lean into it a little and say something like, Oh, it really does feel good to be a baby sometimes, doesn't it?
00:07:53.120 --> 00:07:55.839
You don't have to give them a bottle or a diaper.
00:07:56.079 --> 00:07:58.800
You just have to let them know you understand.
00:07:59.199 --> 00:08:04.240
Feeling understood is much more reassuring than being reminded to grow up.
00:08:04.560 --> 00:08:07.519
Fourth, use strategic attention.
00:08:07.839 --> 00:08:10.639
Notice the behaviors you want to encourage.
00:08:10.879 --> 00:08:13.439
I love how gently you're touching the baby.
00:08:13.759 --> 00:08:15.920
Thank you for bringing me that book.
00:08:16.079 --> 00:08:18.399
I notice you made it to the potty.
00:08:18.720 --> 00:08:23.600
Children repeat the behaviors that consistently earn your attention.
00:08:23.920 --> 00:08:27.519
Finally, stay calm when regressions show up.
00:08:27.839 --> 00:08:32.879
Potty accidents are one of the most common regressions I see after a new baby arrives.
00:08:33.120 --> 00:08:36.639
As difficult as they can be, try to respond calmly.
00:08:36.879 --> 00:08:38.559
Oops, accidents happen.
00:08:38.799 --> 00:08:40.639
Let's get some dry clothes on.
00:08:40.799 --> 00:08:42.159
And then just move on.
00:08:42.480 --> 00:08:51.519
The less attention you attach to accidents and the more attention you give to successful potty trips, the more quickly most children regain their confidence.
00:08:51.759 --> 00:09:02.080
The day Jackie's mum thought she looked so grown up was the very day Jackie needed her to remember that no matter how big she looked, she was still her baby.
00:09:02.240 --> 00:09:04.720
And that's what I'd like you to remember too.
00:09:04.879 --> 00:09:06.480
And one final thought.
00:09:06.799 --> 00:09:14.720
We spent today's episode talking about helping toddlers adjust after a new baby arrives, but supporting you matters too.
00:09:14.960 --> 00:09:21.600
And if you'd like to learn more about the Eufy Breast Pump S2 Pro, I'll put a link in the show notes.
00:09:21.679 --> 00:09:25.440
And you can use the code TME, toddlers made easy.
00:09:25.519 --> 00:09:28.240
So TME UFI E U F Y.
00:09:28.559 --> 00:09:35.840
That's T M E U F Y at checkout for an extra 15% off discount.
00:09:36.080 --> 00:09:37.600
Keep up the good work.
00:09:37.919 --> 00:09:40.000
Congratulations on the new baby.
00:09:40.159 --> 00:09:41.919
And I'll see you next week.
00:09:42.720 --> 00:09:46.559
They're living.
